"I was the red sheep of the family"
"My first dog, called Sam Fay Lady, only cost £250. She was absolutely useless"
"The surgeon said 'Ted, you're better getting it taken off below your knee'..."
"That’s a bit harsh, you bastard!"
"We weren’t consistent enough over the whole campaign. With the players we’ve got, we should have not just qualified, but won the group."
"He played for Hamburg in the ’80s and was famous for his Bananenflanken."
"Mark Lawrenson brings a whole new angle to football punditry because he’s so unintentionally camp..."
"Someone will say: 'It’s you isn’t it? Martin Peters!' That’s quite odd, I’m much more handsome..."
"I scored a hat-trick against Rotherham and celebrated it with sandwiches and energy drinks on the coach home..."
"Gazza was a funny, funny guy, he was great around the camp for team spirit, that is why it was very sad not to take him to France '98..."
...Arsenal defender Kolo Toure is doubtful for the start of the Premier League season after contracting Malaria in the Ivory Coast. (Sun)...
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