If you can't stop them, sign them! Metz were awful last season, but their Luxembourg-raised Bosnian teenage playmaker made his mark, notably in the Cup against Lyon. So when Metz went down, Lyon moved in.
Meet Sporting Lisbon's Nigerian playmaker. What's in his locker? Calmness in front of goal, an eye for a defence-splitting pass... and a great soft-shoe-shuffle celebration.
You're learning, Jedi. Pre-season at Peterborough, the 'new Gary Neville' Rafael Da Silva shanks one left-foot effort laughably wide... but he did better with a similar strike against Arsenal at the Emirates...
We haven't pored over a five-second clip so much since Anthea Turner got set on fire by a motorbike. A young Ronaldinho bamboozles future Brazil coach Dunga with this insane 'Hocus Pocus' trick.
The Zaire defender earns his own 15-seconds of fame at the 1974 World Cup, breaking out of his side's defensive wall to wallop Brazil's free-kick up-field. He still doesn't know what he did wrong, apparently...
The strapping young man Jose Mourinho can unleash in a crisis, 6ft 2in Balotelli upsets defenders but can also curl home a cracking free-kick.
Action of Chelsea's Argentinean starlet before and after his move to Stamford Bridge and becoming the Blues's No.9.
The young AC Milan super-sub who scored at the San Siro just 18 seconds after coming on, much to coach Carlo Ancelotti's delight.