FREE FourFourTwo newsletters for all!

Register now and get:
  • The inside track on the big issues
  • Tactical insight from our experts
  • Players to watch
  • Analysis & humour
  • Exclusive competitions
  • Stick-men drawings
  • WAGs, bets, bargains & more
See a sample newsletter
Sign up now to avoid disappointment
And why not check out the magazine?

Back of the Net

A surprisingly funny football blog


Back of the Net

See all posts

Group A: Poland – It's Not All Fun & Games


Tuesday 22 May 2012 11:52

From today, the Back of the Net boys will be counting down the days to Euro 2012 with team profiles and much more. To start with, Paul Watson starts with Group A's somewhat fortuitous top seeds, hosts Poland...

The lowest-ranked team in the competition, Poland aren’t particularly good. Unlike the golden generations of the 1970s and 80s, today’s Poland team is full of players who will probably sign for West Ham.

Tournament Pedigree
Austria and Switzerland 2008 was Poland’s first European Championship and pitted them against Germany in a heated clash. As the hype ahead of the game grew, Polish paper Super Express printed a picture of coach Leo Beenhakker holding the severed heads of Michael Ballack and Joachim Low. The paper was widely criticised until it emerged that the photo was in fact real and had helped bring an end to Beenhakker’s terrifying bloodlust. Nonetheless, a depleted Germany still ran out 2-0 winners.

As is traditional, as hosts Poland were allowed to choose their group opponents and opted for Greece, Russia and the Czech Republic – a group so lacking in excitement that it doesn’t even feature on most wallcharts.

Road to the Finals
Poland and Ukraine were chosen to host Euro 2012, beating bids from Italy, Croatia and Hungary and Crosby, Stills and Nash. The voters were said to be won over by the honesty of Poland/Ukraine’s slogan: “A vast forbidding wasteland where terrible things have happened.”

Coach: Franciszek Smuda
It has taken staunch disciplinarian Smuda some time to fully eradicate the holiday-camp regime of libertarian former boss Leo Beenhakker. Disapproving of frivolity, Smuda has led a crackdown on anything he regards as nonsense, which includes nights out, drinking and passing backwards.

Artur Boruc was axed from the squad for a drunken night out, Slawomir Peszko and Marcin Wasilewski were dropped for an even drunker night out and Michal Zyro was only picked as a reserve after drawing a smiley face on his kit bag. Smuda is quoted as saying “The world has this image of us Poles as all fun, but that isn’t the case.”

Did You Know?
Poland’s squad contains the most letters of any side in the competition. It takes coach Smuda anything between three and 10 hours to write his team-sheets, so don’t be surprised if the Poles take the pitch with just eight or nine men.

More from Back of the Net
Group A: PolandRussiaGreeceCzech Republic
Group B: Netherlands
Germany Portugal Denmark
Group C: SpainItalyCroatiaRepublic of Ireland
Group D: UkraineEnglandFranceSweden


or to add your comments

About Back of the Net

Back of the Net is a surprisingly funny football blog by Paul Watson and John Foster with guest appearances from TV comedian Mark Watson. For more, see their site and Facebook page. Paul Watson's book Up Pohnpei: A Quest to Reclaim the Soul of Football by Leading the World's Ultimate Underdogs to Glory is available now.

Comments

  May 22, 2012 14:49

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net team continue their build-up to Euro 2012 with individual team profiles. Here, Mark

  May 23, 2012 15:24

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net team continue their countdown to Euro 2012 with Paul Watson studying Group A's

  May 23, 2012 15:24

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net team are warming up for Euro 2012 with a few friendly looks at the teams involved

  May 24, 2012 10:38

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net team's countdown to Euro 2012 continues with Paul Watson on Group B's top

  May 24, 2012 14:27

Back of the Net said:

More tongue-in-cheek Euros previewage from the Back of the Net boys. Here, John Foster on a team you

  May 25, 2012 12:34

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net boys continue their tongue-in-cheek look ahead to Euro 2012 . Here, John Foster on

  May 29, 2012 12:21

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net boys continue their light-hearted look ahead to Euro 2012 . Here, John Foster on

  May 29, 2012 12:22

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net boys continue their light-hearted look ahead to Euro 2012 . This morning, John Foster

  May 30, 2012 14:05

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net team continue their build-up to Euro 2012 with individual team profiles. Here, television

  May 30, 2012 16:09

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net squad's Euro 2012 previews continue, with him-off-the-telly Mark Watson studying

  May 31, 2012 10:35

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net team continue their build-up to Euro 2012 with individual team profiles. Here, John

  May 31, 2012 17:21

Euro 2012 said:

The Back of the Net boys examine each participating country in depth... Group A: Poland – It's Not

  June 1, 2012 10:49

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net team continue their build-up to Euro 2012 with individual team profiles. Here, Paul

  June 1, 2012 10:54

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net team continue their build-up to Euro 2012 with individual team profiles. Here, Paul

  June 1, 2012 12:24

Back of the Net said:

The Back of the Net boys file their final Euro 2012 team preview. Last and possibly least, it's England

  June 1, 2012 12:39

Euro 2012 said:

The Back of the Net boys examine each participating country in depth... Group A: Poland – It's Not

  June 6, 2012 14:58

Euro 2012 said:

Get the lowdown from FourFourTwo's global experts on the 16 Euro protagonists... Group A Poland

  June 6, 2012 16:30

Back of the Net said:

Planning to travel to Poland to watch Roy’s boys? Think again – all England matches will be played in

  June 8, 2012 14:03

Back of the Net said:

Welcome to the second part of our Euro 2012 away fans’ guide. After looking at Donetsk earlier in the

FourFourTwo.com
Haymarket

FourFourTwo is brought to you by Haymarket Consumer Media & FourFourTwo is part of Haymarket Sport
About Haymarket | International Licensing | © Haymarket Media Group 2010