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Back of the Net
He was a surprise omission from Roy Hodgson's squad, and now, as Back of the Net's Paul Watson reveals, things are about to get even worse for the Geordie midfield metronome...
Manchester United midfielder Michael Carrick has suffered a huge blow with the news that he won’t be allowed to watch this summer’s European Championships on the widescreen TV in his house in Wilmslow.
Carrick was so confident that he wouldn’t be included in the England squad for Euro 2012 that he told the FA several months ago that he didn’t want to included as a substitute, but now that decision may haunt him as his summer plans lie in ruins.
The former Spurs man had been working on an elaborate scheme to turn his lounge into a home cinema for viewing events in Ukraine and Poland, but he has been stunned by the news delivered late last night that wife Lisa Roughead has lined up a summer schedule of back-to-back reality shows, programmes about people getting makeovers, rom-coms and costume dramas.
“It’s clearly a setback,” a downcast Carrick told FourFourTwo.com.
“Over the course of the season my primary focus was obviously the Premier League title, but you also have your own personal ambitions.
“I’ve made no secret of the fact that I wanted to create a little cosy den in the living room, possibly with a little beer fridge in the corner, and watch Euro 2012.”
Carrick had initially believed he would be able to soften the blow by negotiating a settlement that would allow him to at least watch England games and attractive group games like Holland vs Germany and Croatia vs Spain, but even this now seems unlikely and he may have to fight for his place on the sofa watching the final.
“To be fair to the missus [Lisa Roughead], she’s drawn up a mean schedule – I’m finding it hard to pick holes in it,” Carrick admitted.
“I imagined there’d be no debate about me watching Spain v Republic of Ireland but Lisa has quite rightly pointed out that it clashes with ‘2 Broke Girls’ on E4.
“Again, I was keen to see England’s potentially pivotal final group game against Ukraine, but how can you argue with ’50 First Dates’ on UK Gold? You’d have to be made of stone not to enjoy Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore’s light-hearted take on anterograde amnesia.
“I’m almost starting to think I should have just agreed to represent my nation in the competition.”
Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.
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