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Back of the Net

A surprisingly funny football blog


Back of the Net

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Arsenal’s swoop for Giroud is great news for Giroud, asserts Giroud


Thursday 21 June 2012 08:50

The man widely linked with a move to the Emirates is delighted to be heading to North London, according to Back of the Net's Paul Watson...

French striker Olivier Giroud believes Arsenal’s apparent decision to move for the 28-year-old marksman is a huge boost for Olivier Giroud and everyone connected with Olivier Giroud.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is looking to add attacking options to his squad after the 2011-12 campaign saw the Gunners once again finish without silverware.

Wenger has already pounced for German hitman Lukas Podolski and is now close to securing the services of Montpellier man Giroud, who is all in favour of the switch.

“This is a great deal for Olivier Giroud, Olivier Giroud’s girlfriend Jennifer and Olivier Giroud’s friends and family,” Giroud enthused to FourFourTwo.com.

“It’s a no lose situation for anyone attached to Olivier Giroud. At worst I’ll have a forgettable season and be sold back to a French team with an extra £500,000 in my pocket and a collection of dinner party anecdotes about more famous players.

“Obviously Olivier Giroud has a proud tradition of buying expensive cars and clothes, living in a spacious, penthouse apartment fitted with an elaborate home cinema system and tipping waiting staff just a little more than 12.5%, so Arsenal will fit in nicely with that.

“There were fears that the poor standard of cuisine, lack of ski slopes and inconsistent pronunciation of both Olivier and Giroud would make this a less attractive option but I’m delighted to say that a dumper truck of money has eased my concerns.”

When asked whether he believed he would be a hit with the Gunners’ fans, Giroud was emphatic.

“I honestly believe that Arsenal fans will soon speak of Olivier Giroud with the same fondness they have for Marouane Chamakh,” he declared.

With Giroud ready to form an appetising attacking trident with Robin Van Persie and Podolski, Arsenal’s website has announced that February 9th rather than December 15th, as previously advertised, is the scheduled date that the Gunners exit the title race.

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About Back of the Net

Back of the Net is a surprisingly funny football blog by Paul Watson and John Foster with guest appearances from TV comedian Mark Watson. For more, see their site and Facebook page. Paul Watson's book Up Pohnpei: A Quest to Reclaim the Soul of Football by Leading the World's Ultimate Underdogs to Glory is available now.

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