A surprisingly funny football blog
Back of the Net
The authorities have taken drastic action to finally clamp down on the real scourge of football (other than all the racism, corruption and stuff...), reveals Back of the Net's Paul Watson...
Two unnamed footballers have been arrested at London’s Heathrow Airport and face charges of plotting to incite diving in English football, the Metropolitan police have confirmed.
The two men were arrested late last night shortly after their flight touched down and were taken to a Central London police station to be questioned by the Counter Diving Unit.
Diving, long seen as an overseas phenomenon, has started to grow roots in the UK, with shocking pictures emerging of British players committing acts of diving in Premier League matches.
After the stunning revelation from former England star Michael Owen that he had taken part in low-level diving after being led astray by foreign influences, there is pressure on British authorities to prevent the problem escalating.
The Counter Diving Unit is known to be keeping a close eye on so-called ‘diving schools’ in the UK where young players watch videos of refereeing mistakes and read passages of Pavel Nedved’s autobiography ‘Well something definitely clipped my heel.’
“The World Cup qualification period is a challenging time,” foreign secretary William Hague told FourFourTwo.
“Obviously there will be lots of innocent footballers entering the country who have no intention whatsoever of even exaggerating contact let alone diving. But we have to remember that amongst those honest players will be one or two who wish to harm our game.”
San Marino players arriving to face England on Friday evening have already complained of invasive security screening procedures.
“I understand that there need to be [security measures],” midfielder Alex Gasparoni explained.
“But it really isn’t acceptable to have security officials backing into us, pushing us, grabbing our shirts and shouting ‘surely you want a free-kick for this you Dogana d*ckhead’ at us.
“The whole thing seems completely unnecessary, especially given that we have no intention of getting the ball on Friday evening anyway.”
Despite a vast bounty and football’s largest manhunt, the whereabouts of ideological diving figurehead Rivaldo remain unclear.
Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.
More from Back of the Net Sacked Coyle facing very real threat of going for that drink with Kean Lambert spends entire press conference speaking in iambic pentameterUEFA to sex-up Europa with 'dramatic storylines' and 'mental stunts'Arsenal defend decision to send Diaby and Wilshere bear-wrestling Dawson tight-lipped on future, hints climate change could kill millions"Now a great time to panic", says Gerrard
The Israeli midfielder might be trying a little too hard, reveals Back of the Net 's Paul Watson
Tuesday evening's wash-out in Warsaw has left ITV's cuddly nincompoop on the wane, reveals Back
The Anfield starlet has been warned against providing his own audio analysis of Reds matches, as Back
The Toon battler has been sent for a rather late early bath, as Back of the Net 's Paul Watson reports
Rovers have finally found a manager who won't run away screaming, reports Back of the Net 's
A non-league referee has left two Conference sides with good cause to question his decisions, reports
Back of the Net 's John Foster reports on two very unlikely things, only one of which happened..
The much-loved Leeds United manager has really put his foot in it this time, as Back of the Net 's
The PSG forward turned Wednesday evening's friendly in Stockholm on its head, as Back of the Net
The pint-sized Juventus schemer is in hot water after a controversial celebration, as Back of the Net
The blame-shifting Welshman has had a bad day at the office, as Back of the Net 's Paul Watson reports
LATEST FOOTBALL NEWS
De Laurentiis: Benitez poised to join Napoli
Monaco sign Moutinho and Rodriguez
Europa winners to earn Champions League spot
Man City target five trophies in five years
Favourites Mineiro fight back for Tijuana draw
75% of all TV is Bale
On the road to ruin
FourFourTwo is brought to you by Haymarket Consumer Media & FourFourTwo is part of Haymarket Sport
| International Licensing | © Haymarket Media Group 2010