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BotN: Berg impresses Blackburn with lack of revulsion at club

Wednesday 31 October 2012 16:57

Rovers have finally found a manager who won't run away screaming, reports Back of the Net's Paul Watson...

Blackburn Rovers have released a statement announcing the appointment of Henning Berg as manager and praising the new man for his "apparent lack of disgust" at the current state of the club.

It took the Championship club’s owners Venky’s just over a month to find a replacement for Steve Kean, who resigned on September 28th.

A host of top names, former players and normal people had publicly removed themselves from the frame in recent weeks, prompting the club to take the rare step of advertising the job in the match-day programme.

With an atmosphere of apprehension building in the region, many Blackburn residents took the precaution of hiring football agents to ensure that they didn’t accidentally accept the post.

Berg was chosen after Blackburn had interviewed nine candidates for the position, eight of whom turned out to be Steve Kean.

Berg fights bravely against his gag reflex

“Henning [Berg] impressed us tremendously,” Blackburn’s global advisor Shebby Singh told FourFourTwo.

“He spoke very eloquently about wanting to be Blackburn manager and only occasionally had to break off to mumble under his breath about what a sorry state of affairs this historic club has become and how we all ought to be ashamed of ourselves.

“He didn’t even grimace when I was introduced to him as Blackburn’s ‘global advisor’ – and even I can see how repugnant it is for a football club to employ someone with that job title.

“That almost complete lack of revulsion at the imbecilic way the club is run from afar by aloof chicken magnates for no discernible reason proved very attractive.

“Plus, he looks a bit like Steve Kean from a distance, so we thought we could have some fun with that.”

Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.

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About Back of the Net

Back of the Net is a surprisingly funny football blog by Paul Watson and John Foster with guest appearances from TV comedian Mark Watson. For more, see their site and Facebook page. Paul Watson's book Up Pohnpei: A Quest to Reclaim the Soul of Football by Leading the World's Ultimate Underdogs to Glory is available now.

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