A surprisingly funny football blog
Back of the Net
The pint-sized Juventus schemer is in hot water after a controversial celebration, as Back of the Net's John Foster reports
Juventus forward Sebastian Giovinco yesterday became the first player to be booked for removing his head in contravention of FIFA’s Law 12.1 regarding a player’s proper anatomy while on the field of play.
Giovinco’s rush of blood to, and subsequently from, the head was the only disappointing note in a great evening for Juventus, as the Italian champions’ 3-0 victory over Chelsea leaves them needing just a point against Shakhtar Donetsk to qualify for the knockout stage.
They will have to do so without ‘Atomic Ant’ Giovinco, however, who was booked for his reckless head-removing gesture and will be miss one match through suspension, and possibly more if the club doctors fail to reattach his head in time.
The boy's losing his head, etc
Giovinco had just scored Juventus’ third goal when he ran to the stands and exultantly peeled off his the skin around his neck and cranium, plucking his head clean from his shoulders and flinging it into the crowd, where appalled Juventus fans desperately tried to avoid being struck by fragments of bone.
"If we can find Sebastian’s head in the next 48 hours, then he should be fine," Juventus caretaker boss Angelo Alessio told Italy’s leading sports newspaper, Il Fondo Della Rete. "If not, then we’ll have to replace it by grafting Simone Padoin’s head onto Sebastian’s body. It’s a blow for Simone, but I’m just delighted we’ve finally found a use for him."
Erstwhile truck tactician Andy Townsend, commentating for ITV, gave his own opinion. "It’s embarrassing to watch a striker stagger around blindly, miles from any teammate, like he doesn’t know where the goal is," he said. "But enough about Chelsea..."
DID YOU KNOW? On this day in 1999, former Juventus hero Paolo Montero was given a red card and a four-match ban for removing an opponent’s head.
Editor's note: this isn't a serious accusation and all quotes are fictionalised. But you knew that, because you're not stupid.
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