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QPR new boy Loïc Rémy promises “some kind of spree”

Friday 18 January 2013 13:10

The French international is determined to make headlines in West London, as Back of the Net's John Foster reports...

New QPR striker Loïc Rémy has pledged to fans that he will go on “some kind of spree” while at Loftus Road, causing a flurry of speculation as to exactly what sort of wild, unrestrained activity the 26-year old has in mind.

“Obviously, we’re hoping it’s a scoring spree,” manager Harry Redknapp told FourFourTwo. “To be fair to Loïc, he’s not ruled out a scoring spree, but fans have to be aware that other kinds of spree are also possible.”

Should Rémy’s spree not be of the scoring variety, Redknapp expressed the hope that he might go on a training spree, or a healthy eating spree.

"I'm going to buy soooooooooo many shoes!!!"

“A shopping spree wouldn’t be ideal, but we could cope with that, what with Westfield round the corner,” said the ex-Tottenham boss. “A drinking spree would definitely be bad. So would a crime spree. A killing spree would be the worst, because to be honest, the squad’s down to the bare bones already.”

“Of course, it could be a completely new kind of spree, like a chess spree, or a learning the clarinet spree,” the plasticine-faced tactician continued. “You never can tell with sprees.”

The striker’s tendency to make vaguely threatening promises had seen him frozen out at former club Marseille, where sprees are banned, along with all kinds of mongering, whether fear, hate, war, or fish.

Redknapp himself confirmed that he planned to continue QPR’s spending spree, while expressing confidence that the troubled West London side were getting closer and closer to “some form of glut.”

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Back of the Net is a surprisingly funny football blog by Paul Watson and John Foster with guest appearances from TV comedian Mark Watson. For more, see their site and Facebook page. Paul Watson's book Up Pohnpei: A Quest to Reclaim the Soul of Football by Leading the World's Ultimate Underdogs to Glory is available now.

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