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Euro 2012

Expert analysis of the events in Poland and Ukraine


Back of the Net

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BotN: Van Marwijk identifies Dutch defence, midfield, attack, kit, language as problem


Thursday 14 June 2012 12:04

The Back of the Net boys report on Holland 1-2 Germany

Holland are on the brink of elimination from Euro 2012 after a devastating defeat by bitter rivals Germany and coach Bert van Marwijk has admitted disappointment at the performances of his defence, midfield, attack, substitutes, kit manufacturer and fans.

The Dutch came into the competition amongst the favourites, with their brutal, bloodthirsty progress to the final of the 2010 World Cup still fresh in the mind. However, after squandering 450 clear chances in a 1-0 defeat to Denmark, the men in orange knew they had to triumph over their old enemy to maintain a realistic chance of progressing.

Games between Germany and Holland are renowned for their ferocity and several players on both sides, quite rightly, took the field in full body armour. UN peacekeepers stood by on the sidelines prepped to intervene should things turn nasty.

After a nervy opening, Germany started to dictate the pace and asked questions of the Dutch defence, including "Why is there a huge gap between the two centre-backs?" and "What’s your capital city then: Amsterdam or The Hague?”, to which the Dutch had no satisfactory answers.


"Where am I? And who's he?"

There was also a lack of cohesion within the Holland team. Jonis Mathijsen had to be formally introduced to Wesley Sneijder in the 65th minute, while Arjen Robben repeatedly appealed to Jetro Willems for free-kicks, believing him to be the referee.

Germany took full advantage and a Mario Gomez double took the game away from Van Marwijk’s men. Even a superb Robin van Persie goal couldn’t rescue a point, leaving the Dutch boss to rue everything.

“I have a great many regrets,” Van Marwijk told press. “My main disappointments were the defence, midfield, attack, the way our kit has these weird patches on it and the odd guttural chants our fans sang in a language that makes German seem elegant.

“Maarten Stekelenburg is OK, though.”

More match reports from Back of the Net:
POL 1-1 RUS: World's top statistician works on group permutations
GRE 1-2 CZE: Samaras's failure to score only reinforces Greek belief in Samaras
UKR 2-1 SWE: Fairytale for Shevchenko as he scores twice, kills wolf, rescues princess
FRA 1-1 ENG: Everyone and no-one happy as England and France draw
IRL 1-3 CRO: Ireland defeated as every chance somehow falls to Keith Andrews
SPA 1-1 ITA: Torres performance vindicates Spain decision to play with no strikers

During the Euros, Back of the Net will tweet live during the match.
Follow the commentary at http://twitter.com/backofthenetFFT
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About Back of the Net

Back of the Net is a surprisingly funny football blog by Paul Watson and John Foster with guest appearances from TV comedian Mark Watson. For more, see their site and Facebook page. Paul Watson's book Up Pohnpei: A Quest to Reclaim the Soul of Football by Leading the World's Ultimate Underdogs to Glory is available now.

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