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Back of the Net
The Back of the Net report on Denmark's desperate defeat to non-gentle giants Germany
Germany spitefully defeated Denmark 2-1, knocking the distraught Danes out of the competition and giving boss Joachim Löw a brief flicker of pleasure.
The conclusion to the Group of Death saw Portugal, Holland and Denmark desperately fighting for their lives while Germany looked on with a mixture of disinterest and disdain.
Driven by mortal terror, Denmark made a lively start to the game while their opponents looked faintly amused, the occasional knowing smile breaking across their otherwise inscrutable faces.
While the earnest Danish side tried to put together passing moves and shots on target, the smirking Germans mockingly mimicked their efforts, having sarcastic shots of their own on Stephan Andersen’s goal.
The contest was 19 minutes old when Germany struck as Lukas Podolski blasted past Andersen and celebrated by making a rude joke about Daniel Agger’s mum.
But Denmark fought back valiantly and Michael Krohn-Dehli equalised, allowing his teammates to dream of a place in the quarter-finals.
However, the Germans weren’t going to let Denmark off the hook that easily and with 10 minutes remaining, Lars Bender rounded off a breakaway move to make it 2-1 and end any chance Denmark had of progressing.
"Oi, Olsen. Outside, after, you're dead"
Joachim Löw briefly clenched his fist before clearly tiring of the action and spending the remainder of the game expertly firing spitballs at Danish boss Morten Olsen.
“Of course I feel sorry for Denmark,” Löw told FourFourTwo in his post-match press conference while giving Olsen a wedgie, before adding “…sorry they’re such losers,” as Olsen looked up hopefully.
Germany march on to face Greece in the quarter-finals despite a strongly-worded letter from Denmark’s mum suggesting they should be removed from the competition.
More match reports from Back of the Net:POR 2-1 HOL: Things starting to look bad for Dutch, admits Van MarwijkGRE 1-0 RUS: UEFA hope Greece forget to claim their quarter-final slotPOL 0-1 CZE: Polish celebratory vodka repurposed as misery vodkaSWE 2-3 ENG: Ice-cool England dispatch Sweden with ruthless efficiency... UKR 0-2 FRA: Ukraine, 400-year-old God of Thunder unable to stop France
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