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Euro 2012

Expert analysis of the events in Poland and Ukraine


Back of the Net

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BotN: Germany beat Denmark just because they can


Monday 18 June 2012 12:01

The Back of the Net report on Denmark's desperate defeat to non-gentle giants Germany

Germany spitefully defeated Denmark 2-1, knocking the distraught Danes out of the competition and giving boss Joachim Löw a brief flicker of pleasure.

The conclusion to the Group of Death saw Portugal, Holland and Denmark desperately fighting for their lives while Germany looked on with a mixture of disinterest and disdain.

Driven by mortal terror, Denmark made a lively start to the game while their opponents looked faintly amused, the occasional knowing smile breaking across their otherwise inscrutable faces.

While the earnest Danish side tried to put together passing moves and shots on target, the smirking Germans mockingly mimicked their efforts, having sarcastic shots of their own on Stephan Andersen’s goal.

The contest was 19 minutes old when Germany struck as Lukas Podolski blasted past Andersen and celebrated by making a rude joke about Daniel Agger’s mum.

But Denmark fought back valiantly and Michael Krohn-Dehli equalised, allowing his teammates to dream of a place in the quarter-finals.

However, the Germans weren’t going to let Denmark off the hook that easily and with 10 minutes remaining, Lars Bender rounded off a breakaway move to make it 2-1 and end any chance Denmark had of progressing.


"Oi, Olsen. Outside, after, you're dead"

Joachim Löw briefly clenched his fist before clearly tiring of the action and spending the remainder of the game expertly firing spitballs at Danish boss Morten Olsen.

“Of course I feel sorry for Denmark,” Löw told FourFourTwo in his post-match press conference while giving Olsen a wedgie, before adding “…sorry they’re such losers,” as Olsen looked up hopefully.

Germany march on to face Greece in the quarter-finals despite a strongly-worded letter from Denmark’s mum suggesting they should be removed from the competition.

More match reports from Back of the Net:
POR 2-1 HOL: Things starting to look bad for Dutch, admits Van Marwijk
GRE 1-0 RUS: UEFA hope Greece forget to claim their quarter-final slot
POL 0-1 CZE: Polish celebratory vodka repurposed as misery vodka
SWE 2-3 ENG: Ice-cool England dispatch Sweden with ruthless efficiency... 
UKR 0-2 FRA: Ukraine, 400-year-old God of Thunder unable to stop France

During the Euros, Back of the Net will tweet live during the match.
Follow the commentary at http://twitter.com/backofthenetFFT
...and FourFourTwo's updates at http://twitter.com/FourFourTwo


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About Back of the Net

Back of the Net is a surprisingly funny football blog by Paul Watson and John Foster with guest appearances from TV comedian Mark Watson. For more, see their site and Facebook page. Paul Watson's book Up Pohnpei: A Quest to Reclaim the Soul of Football by Leading the World's Ultimate Underdogs to Glory is available now.

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