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Euro 2012

Expert analysis of the events in Poland and Ukraine


Back of the Net

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BotN: Fans let down as Balotelli fails to behave like performing seal


Saturday 30 June 2012 19:10

The Back of the Net view on Germany 1-2 Italy

Italy stormed into the final of the European Championships on Thursday night, withstanding a late fightback to record a highly impressive 2-1 victory over Germany. The game was marred, however, by the absence of any eagerly-expected clownish antics from Italian striker Mario Balotelli.

Balotelli, whose previous role in the team was simply to pull outrageous stunts and caper ineptly after lost causes, left fans deflated by scoring two clinical goals to give his side an unassailable lead – then compounded the disappointment by not falling over when through on goal, not getting sent off for dissent, and not grievously injuring a team-mate while arguing over a free-kick.

“What Balotelli did is unacceptable,” fumed spectator Lucas Chapman, 28. “I expected to see a figure of fun, a talented but ultimately risible court jester throwing his team’s chances away with his moody, adolescent petulance.

“Instead, all we saw from Balotelli was relentless teamwork, steely determination, and a brace of lethal finishes. I didn’t spend good money to watch the coming of age of one of the game’s most thrilling talents on the biggest stage imaginable. It’s a disgrace.”


Balotelli acknowledges Neuer with sickening maturity

Many fans are still clinging to the hope that Balotelli’s 20-yard rocket was a wildly miskicked fluke, and that his 36th-minute bullet header was actually an attempt to control the ball with his tongue. But most seem resigned to the fact that the Balotelli they knew and cherished is gone forever.

“Naturally, I’ll be hoping that Spain goad him successfully in the final and that the monstrous, volatile manchild re-emerges,” Chapman added. “Otherwise I’ll have to find my Balotelli entertainment from elsewhere, like if he falls over, or if he misses a penalty.

“I suppose I could conceivably just appreciate the sheer, breathtaking natural ability of one of the most gifted young strikers to emerge in the past 10 years,” he conceded.

“But when you’re dealing with a guy who any minute might do something mental, like wear his pants over his shorts, or have a haircut, why get bogged down with boring details like how good he is at football?”

More match reports from Back of the Net:
SPA 0-0 POR: Portugal combat 'slightly less good Spain' tag by playing like Spain, only slightly worse
ITA 0-0 ENG: England lament justice of penalty shoot-out

ESP 2-0 FRA: France fail to turn up, turn up, fail to turn up, lose
GER 4-2 GRE: Germany put long-suffering fans through slight discomfort
POR 1-0 CZE: Ronaldo: "Ronaldo? Ronaldo, Ronaldo. Ronaldo!"

Back of the Net are tweeting live during every Euros match.
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About Back of the Net

Back of the Net is a surprisingly funny football blog by Paul Watson and John Foster with guest appearances from TV comedian Mark Watson. For more, see their site and Facebook page. Paul Watson's book Up Pohnpei: A Quest to Reclaim the Soul of Football by Leading the World's Ultimate Underdogs to Glory is available now.

Comments

  July 4, 2012 13:29

Euro 2012 said:

The Back of the Net boys file their final report: Spain 4-0 Italy Spain added yet another title to their

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