Alan Pardew's "rape" shame and other TV moments that left football red faced
Wednesday 08 December 2010 12:02
The news that Alan Pardew is now odds-on favourite to replace the harshly disposed of Chris Hughton as manager of Newcastle United reminded us of one of Pards' lowest moments.
No, not the God-awful 'Academy of Football' T-shirt he sported during the 2004 play-off final, rather the night he sent jaws dropping to the floor by uttering the immortal words "he absolutely rapes him" during Match of the Day 2.
Making a rare appearance on the MotD2
sofa alongside Alan Hansen undoubted television success story Adrian Chiles,
the former Charlton boss was happily waxing lyrical about Michael
Essien's muscular and combative playing style.
All was going swimmingly until he
jovially and casually proclaimed that the Ghanaian had 'absolutely raped' Manchester City’s Ched Evans – a
quote that's not so much Alan Pardew as Alan Partridge (yeah, we went there).
Although a Daily Mail-led
witch-hunt didn't really get off the ground, the Beeb still received 35 complaints and Pardew wasn't invited back to Television Centre again. Here are ten more moments that had Ofcom shaking clenched fists like put-upon middle-aged men in 1950s American sit-coms…
Stephen Bywater
Despite conceding five at Arsenal the day before, Derby keeper Stephen Bywater seemed in good spirits as he appeared on Sky’s Goals on Sunday in October 2007.
So
much so, in fact, that he overlooked the fact that it was probably not
the brightest thing in the world to spell out the most obscene word
imaginable on a Sunday morning television show.
What's best
about the clip is that Bywater considered his options, deciding against
saying the word and spelling it out letter by letter, as if the viewers
were toddlers overhearing a grown-up conversation. Host Clare Tomlinson
was reprimanded following the incident, presumably for not jumping
across the studio and clamping her hand over Bywater’s mouth.
Micah Richards
Having
just scored an injury time equaliser for Man City in an FA Cup tie at
Villa Park, a young Richards was cornered on camera by Garth Crooks and
asked the usual stupid questions (“How does it feel to score an
equalising goal in the last minute? Good?”) Richards’ excitement got
the better of him and he promptly dropped the F-bomb all over the
Beeb’s Sunday teatime audience. You’d never have caught Hugh Scully or
Nora Batty doing that.
Taken aback slightly, Crooks dismissed
the slip as the result of Richards’ youth and inexperience in front of
the cameras. Which is all very well and good, but doesn’t explain the
rambling claptrap of Crooks.
Rodney Marsh
To
be honest, this one was coming for a while. The former QPR and Fulham
maverick has a habit of opening his gob before engaging his brain,
although the gaffe that saw him axed by Sky Sports seemed all too
carefully prepared.
Less than a month after a tsunami had
devastated large parts of the Far East and left 225,000 people dead,
Marsh joked that David Beckham had turned down a move to Newcastle
"because of trouble with the Toon Army in Asia".
He may have made light of the death of thousands of people but, hey, at least he didn’t swear…
Ron Atkinson
The
former Manchester United jewellery model broke the ultimate taboo in
2004, by using the ‘n’ word on live television. Sadly, it wasn’t done
in an edgy, intellectual, ‘make you think’ kind of way; but rather in
an overtly racist, moronic, ‘makes you think he’s a massive racist’
kind of way.
Thinking the microphones were off following
Chelsea’s Champions League semi-final defeat in Monaco, Atkinson was
far from gushing with praise for defender Marcel Desailly (you know
what he said, which saves us the effort of finding a glossy way of
putting it). Sadly for the tubby chancer, the broadcast had continued
in some parts of Asia that were using ITV’s coverage of the game.
Glenn Hoddle
It’s
1987 and Spurs are marching to their third FA Cup final in seven
seasons. England midfielder and chart-bothering karaokeist Glenn Hoddle
is describing his quarter-final free-kick against Wimbledon to a
television reporter. “I saw the keeper off his line so I thought I'd
have a tw*t.”
We’re not really even sure where to start with that one…
Harry Redknapp
The mild-mannered Spurs boss
flipped his lid following a home defeat to Wigan in August, when Sky's
Rob Palmer had to front to suggest the wheeler-dealing former
Portsmouth and West Ham boss may be about to endulge in some late
transfer window wheeler-dealing, being a wheeler-dealer and all...
Richard Keys
The
first rule of live broadcasting is to stay calm and not allow your
words to mutate into a slew of nonsensical jibberish. The second rule
of live broadcasting is to wait until you know the cameras have stopped
rolling before unleashing a potty-mouthed tirade against a set of small North Atlantic islands. Chin up, Richard...
Didier Drogba
Oh
yeah, the other rule of live broadcasting is not to repeat a clip you
know contains 'indoor language'. This is exactly what Keysey and the
Sky Sports posse did after Chelsea's Didier Drogba went loco following
the Blues' controversial Champions League defeat to Barcelona in 2009.
Oops!
Peter Crouch
Crouchie
is known for having 'a good touch for a big man' - which is probably why
he was so peeved to clumsily knock the ball out of play following a
cross-field pass from Benoit Assou-Ekotto.
John Motson
Last, and by no means least, comes dear old Motty's incredible triade against Germany's substituted front line...
Well, it was funny at the time...
Tags: Chelsea, Harry Redknapp, Manchester City, Marcel Desailly, Peter Crouch, Aston Villa, Newcastle United, Didier Drogba, Alan Pardew, Micah Richards, Michael Essien, John Motson, David Beckham, Garth Crooks, Tottenhamham Hotspur, Glenn Hoddle, Richard Keys, Rodney Marsh, Derby County, Ron Atkinson, Ched Evans, Stefan Kuntz, Stephen Bywater
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About James Maw
A successful product of
FourFourTwo's fabled youth academy (i.e. he was good at making the teas when he was here on work experience, so we took him on full time), James has been a member of the FFT.com team since June 2008. He has also previously written for
Sport magazine.
His career highlights to date have included beating Chris Kamara at table football and discussing the wonder of Jaffa Cakes with Ledley King.