FourFourTwo's Inside Track

Premier League Previews: All hail King... Kinnear

FourFourTwo Team — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 12:30:00 GMT

Phew, what a week!

Arsenal’s youngsters murder Sheffield United (in a footballing sense, no need for ASBOs here), Brighton, who had days earlier lost to nine-man Walsall, beat the billionaires of Manchester City on penalties and Newcastle United slumped to a new low by losing to Spurs (yes, Spurs!) before desperately bringing in an ‘emergency manager’ to replace Chris Hughton who, as caretaker, was effectively an... emergency manager.

Obviously a farcical ‘Carry On’ at Sid James’ Park (yes, our joke book really is that old) is nothing new, but the depths to which the club are currently plummeting will be a shock to even the most cynical, self-loathing Geordie.

Joe Kinnear, a man who has been out of top flight football for nine years, is evidently the only man crazy enough to take on the job, which is only likely to last as long as it takes for Mike Ashley to flog the club to the highest bidder.

For Sale: Football club, a few previous owners, GSOH required...

Ashley clearly didn’t know what he was getting himself into, financially or otherwise, when he bought himself a football club.

Fellow Premier League chairman and tracksuit peddler Dave Whelan was right when he claimed that successfully running a chain of sports stores was a million miles from successfully running a football club.

Case in point was the way in which Ashley bowed down to supporter pressure and sacked Sam Allardyce, a proven manager very much in touch with the modern game, only to replace him with Kevin Keegan, a man who by his own admission hadn’t even watched a football match in the 18 months prior to his return to St James’.

If the punters of one of Ashley’s ‘highstreet value sportswear outlets’ had demanded Basil Fawlty was installed as store manager, it’s unlikely the Newcastle owner would have been as acquiescent.

So are the ‘Geordie faithful’ partly to blame for the current mess at the club?

When the chips are down a team needs its fans more than ever, and Wednesday night’s sparse 20,000 crowd played right into Spurs’ hands.

"You'll have to forgive him... he's from Sunderland"

The atmosphere was dead and Spurs’ travelling support drowned out the Toon fans for the bulk of the game, which in a game between two sides so lacking in confidence was quite possibly a crucial factor.

A voracious 50,000 crowd giving the team their full backing for 90 minutes may well have tipped the balance in Newcastle’s favour. As it is Newcastle are out of the Carling Cup and their most likely route to ending their lengthy wait for a major trophy has been closed off for another year.

The visit of Blackburn on Saturday, while still not sold out, is expected to have a crowd more than double that of Wednesday’s game, but unless the ‘Toon Army’ actually concern themselves with giving the team their support, rather than prancing around with banners and shouting abuse at men who won’t even be in the ground, it could be five defeats on the spin.

Blackburn have had an inconsistent start to their season, following up an impressive opening day win at Everton with a home draw with Hull and heavy defeats to West Ham and Arsenal, before beating Fulham at Ewood Park last weekend.

Paul Ince's side have yet to show the same fighting spirit they’ve shown in recent seasons this term, but it’s probably too early to judge exactly how well they’ll fair under the Guv'nor's stewardship.

Rovers have won at St James’ Park in each of the last three seasons and if they can seize on the discontent amongst the home fans early on then they should have a chance of getting a result again this time round.

None of Arsenal’s midweek Carling Cup victors were born the last time Newcastle won a trophy of note, infact it’s possible that one or two of the junior Gooners' parents were merely a glint in their father’s eye when Bobby Moncur lifted the Fairs Cup way back in the halcyon summer of ’69.

Not many managers make 11 changes to a side that’s just won 6-0, but that’s exactly what Arsene Wenger will have done when he hands in his team sheet prior to Saturday evening's home match with Hull.

This lad will probably be on the bench against Hull

Despite some decent performances and results so far this season (the 5-0 home mauling at the hands of Wigan aside), it’s hard to see how Hull will be able to contain Fabregas, Van Persie, Nasri and friends.

If the Tigers concede early on, it may quickly become a damage limitation exercise for Phil Brown’s men.

One place where things should be much tighter is Goodison Park, as Everton host Liverpool in the 206th Merseyside derby on Saturday lunchtime.

Having failed to build on their win over Manchester United with another three points against Stoke last weekend, Liverpool will see taking three points from Goodison as the perfect tonic and if Everton’s home form so far this term is anything to go by they're in with a shout.

The Toffees have shipped eight goals in their three home matches in all competitions, three each in defeat to Blackburn and Portsmouth and two in their ‘UEFA Europa League’ draw with Standard Liege.

Rumour has it that Robbie Keane, still searching for his first Liverpool goal, will be relegated to the bench for the big game but with the guile and impact to change a game as a substitute - as well as an impressive goal record against Everton while he was a Spurs player - don’t rule out the Irishman popping up to give his new side a win.

FourFourTwo.com's Premier League Predictions:

Saturday September 27
Everton 1-2 Liverpool
Aston Villa 2-1 Sunderland
Fulham 1-1 West Ham
Man Utd 3-0 Bolton
Middlesbrough 2-1 West Brom
Newcastle 1-2 Blackburn
Stoke 0-2 Chelsea
Arsenal 3-1 Hull (Live on Setanta Sports 1, 5:30pm)

Sunday September 28
Portsmouth 2-1 Tottenham
Wigan 1-2 Man City

Make your own predictions and win £250,000 this weekend with Footy15

Prem Previews: Sunday, Bloomin' Sunday!

FourFourTwo Team — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 12:30:00 GMT

Curse these European midweeks!

No sooner have we returned from an annoyingly scheduled international break than we have a Premier League Saturday with just three 3pm kickoffs, thanks in no small part to the league having five participants in the UEFA Cup first round on Thursday night (and oddly in Portsmouth’s case, early evening). Will the Premier League ever be allowed to find its rhythm?

The result of all this fixture list jiggery-pokery is that all three of the matches that fall under our microscope of hot, steamy football analysis take place on Sunday.

While at least one other football publication would tell you this means football is 'dying on its backside', we at FourFourTwo.com embrace change, as long as that change doesn't clash with Antiques Roadshow, obviously.

"Wotchu doin' on my patch, Keys, you mug?!?!"

It was a mixed week for the English sides in Europe (and generally a bad one for the Scottish ones); while Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City and Aston Villa will be satisfied with their lot, Manchester United, Everton and maybe even Spurs might be slightly concerned.

The north Londoners finally earned their first victory of the season on Thursday night with a laboured, scrappy 2-1 win over Polish champions Wisla Krakow, and will have a tough night ahead in Poland in two weeks' time.

Spurs have pretty much had a spine transplant through the summer, with a new keeper and ‘point man’ striker being brought in along with playmaker, in the form of Heurelho Gomes, Roman Pavlyuchenko and Luka Modric, and it will take time for them to gel into a cohesive unit.

While no Spurs fan will be happy with their current league position and having lost the strike partnership considered the Premier League’s best over the summer, they will also be more than aware that last year’s equivalent points tally of four points from four games was skewed somewhat by a handily scheduled home match with Derby County.

Gone backwards

For that reason, former Tottenham carthorse Tim Sherwood’s claims during Setanta’s coverage of the Krakow match that Spurs have ‘gone backwards’ in the last 12 months are wider of the mark than a speculative 30-yarder from Didier Zokora.

A lot has been made of Spurs' faltering start to the campaign, but interestingly, if they can muster four points from their next two matches, they’ll have made their best league start since 2005, for what that’s worth.

Juande Ramos’ side take on Wigan on Sunday and will feel their defence, which seems largely bereft of pace nowadays, will be more suited to handling Emile Heskey and Amr Zaki’s physical presence than the pace of Gabriel Agbonlahor and Ashley Young.

Campbell goes one better than kissing the badge...or not

At the other end of the pitch, Roman Pavlyuchenko impressed in patches against Villa on Monday, with his determination and work ethic sure to help him succeed in N17 in time, while Fraizer Campbell teeing up Darren Bent’s winner last night was a welcome boost – even if Spurs’ dependence on a Man United loanee makes them the new West Brom.

One man that knows a thing or two about hitting the back of the net for Spurs is Jermain Defoe, who will lead the line for Portsmouth at Manchester City in another Sunday afternoon showdown.

Defoe has scored three times in four league outings so far this term, which is in keeping with his impressive scoring rate since moving to Fratton in January of, erm, three in four.

Into the swing

Like Spurs, City are in the process of integrating a fair few new players into their side and will take a few weeks to fully get into the swing of things.

Apparently FourFourTwo.com upset a few City fans on Monday, when they took our warning that Robinho wasn’t a guaranteed success in the Premier League to heart and accused us of being bitter and/or jealous of their club's new found wealth.

We would like to clarify that we have no specific wish to see Manchester City fail; infact the ribbing is a backhanded compliment – it’s what comes with success or expectation of success (Newcastle are an exception to the rule, obviously).

Which brings us on nicely to the game of the weekend (if you like that sort of thing), Chelsea vs Manchester United.

PHWACK!!!

Murmurings emanating from the United camp seem to be suggesting they will be out of the title race should they be defeated by, and fall nine points behind, the Blues on Sunday, at least according to the Daily Express.

This is obviously not the case, given that they would still have a game in hand and a home match with Chelsea left to play, but spirits in the United camp will nonetheless be a bit damp, given their mediocre start to the season.

The return of Cristiano Ronaldo to first team duties on Wednesday evening was a much welcome boost for the champions, who are in the process of devising a suitable system to accommodate new signing Dimitar Berbatov, along with Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney and Carlos Tevez.

Chelsea, on the other hand, have started solidly and were superb in winning at Eastlands on Saturday evening.

A few pundits questioned whether Deco would be able to handle the cut and thrust of the Premier League, not least because Barcelona seemed so willing to let him go for a relatively paltry sum, but the little Brazilian/Portuguese has already won any doubters over, which is probably just as well given fellow midfielder Michael Essien’s long term injury.

Discipline

This means Mikel John-Obi will most likely play in the bulk of the Blues’ matches, at least until January, so he’ll need to do what he’s not done too often since arriving at Chelsea and keep his discipline (positional or otherwise) for a prolonged period.

It’s hard to see how United will overcome Chelsea on Sunday, given their differing form at this early stage of the season, but if anyone can upset the odds, it’s surely Sir Alex Ferguson’s side.

FourFourTwo.com's Premier League Predictions:

Saturday September 20
Sunderland 1-1 Middlesbrough
Blackburn 1-1 Fulham
Liverpool 2-0 Stoke
West Ham 2-1 Newcastle
Bolton 0-2 Arsenal (Live on Setanta Sports 1, 17:30)

Sunday September 21
West Brom 1-2 Aston Villa
Chelsea 1-1 Man Utd
Hull 0-2 Everton
Man City 1-1 Portsmouth
Tottenham 2-1 Wigan

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FourFourTwo preps for Project South Africa

FourFourTwo Team — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:00:00 GMT

It's not every day you get an e-mail from the widow of arguably England's greatest ever footballer saying she's looking forward to doing some digging with you.

The lady in question was Stephanie Moore, as in Mrs Bobby, and she got in touch after hearing that FourFourTwo would be joining her in a remote South African village in November to help build a classroom and football pitch for some underprivileged kids.

Neither Steph nor FFT are doing this purely for recreation, you understand.

She founded the Bobby Moore Fund in 1993 as part of Cancer Research UK, who contacted FFT asking if we'd been interested in giving some coverage to their international football-related projects.

There's little we add can about the BMF and the good work they do, though, without actually seeing it for ourselves. So within minutes, FFT had talked our way onto the trip, in return promising to raise the minimum £4,000 required, all of which will go to Cancer Research UK.

Better still, FFT's Louis Massarella – he of Louis' Weird Weekend infamy – will be sweating his overweight ass off on a building site in the searing heat of the South African bush by day, and coaching kids a game he can't even play himself by night.

Rumour has it he'll also be sharing a tent with former Newcastle left-back, John Beresford, who is also making the trip. Poor John.

You can keep up to date with Louis' trials via blogs and video blogs on fourfourtwo.com and read all about the trip in the February edition of the
magazine.

You can also make sure Louis raises enough money for Cancer Research UK to make the trip by visiting www.justgiving.com/louismassarella

Project South Africa takes place from November 15-25 and there are still places available. To read more on, or find out how you can take part in, this and the Bobby Moore Fund's other international projects, go to www.cancerresearchuk.org/bobbymoorefund

Got a problem? Maybe you can hire...The G-Team

FourFourTwo Team — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:00:00 GMT

In 2008, a hapless Kent football club was sent to League Two for football crimes they actually did commit.

These men then promptly travelled to deepest, darkest Shropshire on Saturday afternoon. Today, still smarting from a 7-0 walloping from Shrewsbury, they sit in eighth place. If you have a problem, if everybody else is busy, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB.

DUM DE-DUM DUM, DUM DUM DUM, DUM-DE-DUM DUM DUM DUM, DUM DE DUM-DUM DUM

You know the rest of it….

The Gillingham of the 80s

Yes, as we’re sure you’ve heard by now, Roland Benedict, son of A-Team star Dirk, is currently having a trial with Kent’s finest.

Benedict the younger has been described by pops as ‘quite good’ at football, which explains his willingness to take in Gillingham’s reserve match against Southampton last week.

Will the team walk out on a match-day to the famous theme tune? Will the Gills squad start to travel to away games in a black and red van? Will they face a battle against corrupt police (or maybe referees) on a weekly basis?

So, so many questions which frankly only Paul Scally and chums could answer, but it got us thinking (rather than doing proper work); who from the wide and wonderful world of football could be recruited to complete the crime-fighting quartet.

So let’s meet the stars of ‘The G-Team’:

Allison: loves it when a plan comes together...

Malcolm Allison as Hannibal

The former Manchester City and Crystal Palace boss loves nothing better than a puff on a decent-sized cigar while reflecting on whether his plans had ‘come together’, although those were most likely plans to outwit his rival managers rather than escape from a barn using oil drums, lengths of rope and fire extinguishers, making him the perfect boss for the G-Team.

Jimmy Bullard as ‘Howlin Mad’ Murdock

Who better to fill the role as the lovable mentalist of the group than Fulham’s own chirpy cheeky chappie? With his penchant for fishing, the G-Team are sure to get into a few scrapes, with hillarious consiquences… maybe.

I pity the fool who doesn't get to play under Bruce Rioch

Dennis Bergkamp as BA Baracus

Experienced but with a mean streak, Bergkamp is perfect for the role of Baracus, despite the minor aesthetic differences. Just don’t expect him to ‘get on no plane fool.’ At least not without Allison slipping something in his Lucozade bottle.

Robinho: A warning from history

FourFourTwo Team — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:00:00 GMT

When Robinho’s delicately weighted free-kick hit the back of Petr Cech’s net on Saturday, albeit via the side of Mikel John Obi’s head, Man City’s fans must really have felt their much heralded new era was well underway.

Sadly they were subsequently brought back to earth from their Blue Moon with a bump by Frank Lampard and chums, although Robinho’s name and image was still the one featuring most heavily on newspapers' back pages, television sports news roundups and football phone-in shows for the remainder of the weekend.

Despite scoring in the first 15 minutes of his debut, Robinho has a long way to go before being value for his £32 million price tag.

"Hey, wait a second, this doesn't say Chelsea!"

After all, if a goal on your home debut was all it took to secure ‘legend’ status, then there would be another name up there with Best, Charlton and Cantona in the Hall of Fame across town.

A scorer on 103 occasions in 146 matches for his previous club, as well as on his Old Trafford debut against Birmingham, this Inverness born forward only scored a further four goals before being sold to West Ham before even seeing out his first year at United.

Any ideas?

It was, of course, Ted MacDougall, who joined United in the summer of ’72 from Bournemouth where, amongst other worthy goal scoring feats, he scored nine goals in an 11-0 FA Cup win over Margate.

SuperTed (No.8) celebrates Macari's goal in Lou of his own

The fact of the matter is Robinho wouldn’t be the first debut goalscorer to ultimately flatter to deceive. Not that we’re saying it would be at all funny if he turned out to be bobbins, obviously…

We’re just concerned that people might get a bit carried away, and that the Brazilian could prove to be more Djibril Cisse (who scored on his Liverpool debut at Spurs) than Ruud van Nistelrooy (who scored a debut goal for United against Fulham, and shedloads more thereafter), more Shevchenko (for Chelsea vs Liverpool) than Ian Wright (for Arsenal vs Leicester) or more Des Hamilton (for Newcastle vs Hull) than Robbie Fowler (Liverpool vs Fulham).

Click HERE for our debut goalscorers gallery.

Premier League Previews: 'Grand Slam Saturday'

FourFourTwo Team — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 11:00:00 GMT

Well, we didn’t see that one coming.

No less than 12 days after we claimed that there was still an element of surprise left in the English game, the national team romp to a unexpected if not unwelcome victory in Zagreb.

However all eyes have now quickly focussed back on matters domestic in time for this weekend’s Premier League line-up, with two games in particular sticking out like Peter Crouch’s feet from the end of his bed.

If recent press hype and internet message board bravado is accurate and Manchester City really are about to oust Arsenal and join Man United, Chelsea and Liverpool in next year’s Champions League (they aren’t, by the way, but just go along with it), then Saturday presents us with a double header of top four face-offs the likes of which haven’t been seen since, well, March.

First on the agenda for ‘Grand Slam Saturday’ (see what we did there, sorry Sky Sports) is Manchester United’s trip to Anfield, which will pit former Spurs strike partners Dimitar Berbatov and Robbie Keane against one another.

"We could get a place together in Warrington"

Berbatov is set to make his United debut in Saturday's game, with many pundits (or at least Gary Pallister in Metro) claiming the Bulgarian might be the missing piece of United’s jigsaw.

Quite what the completed image of the puzzle represents is a mystery to us, but given that United won the Premier League and Champions League without Berbatov last time out, it must be pretty bloomin’ spectacular and not one of those ludicrously difficult ones that’s just a load of baked beans.

The most interesting thing will be seeing quite how Sir Alex Ferguson accommodates Berbatov, Rooney, Ronaldo, Tevez, Scholes and Nani in one side, with the likelihood being that at least two of them will be disappointed at any one time.

At first glance it might seems like, when everyone’s fit, Scholes and Nani may be the ones to take to the dugout, but if anyone can profit from Berbatov’s ability to hold the ball up for an age and lay it off into space, it’s the Oldham-born ginger assassin (that Scholes, not Nani, by the way).

Rafa Benitez also seems to be struggling to accommodate his former Spurs star into his side, although with Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres major doubts for Saturday's clash, he may not be afforded the luxury of a choice of where to play Keane for the time being.

If Torres and Gerrard are missing for Liverpool then you’d have to fancy Manchester United to win at Anfield for the sixth time in seven seasons, however we suspect Gerrard at least may have miraculously recovered in time to play for the Reds, having missed out for England in midweek, so a draw might be more likely given United are yet to hit first gear.

Middle Eastlands

Saturday’s teatime kick-off sees Chelsea travel north to ‘Middle Eastlands’ to take on newly minted Manchester City.

The obvious pre-match headline maker is Robinho who, having spent the entire summer kicking and screaming like a small child in order to force a move to Chelsea, is now a Manchester City player.

Without wanting to rain on City fans’ parade (and they probably have actually had one in the last two weeks) when Pele, who worked with a young Robinho at Santos, describes the player as ‘needing counselling’ and claims Chelsea were ‘lucky’ not to have signed him, it might not bode too well for his long term prospects at a club he quite possible hadn’t heard of before lunchtime on transfer deadline day.

If this man says you need counselling, you've got problems

That said, the league really could do with a phenomenal player at a club outside the established Big Four since Berbatov’s move to Man United, so we really hope it doesn’t end in tears.

In any case, this match may come a bit too soon for the Brazilian, who only touched back down in Manchester on Friday morning having spent the best part of the previous fortnight on international duty in South America and will only have trained with his new team-mates once.

If City really are to come good it won’t happen overnight, and you have to fancy Chelsea to pick up the points this time round.

One man who, at least currently at the time of writing, actually is on the payroll at Stamford Bridge is coach Steve Clarke.

The 45 year old Scot, a servant to the West London club for over 15 years as player and coach, has apparently decided to call time on his tenure in West London in favour of a move east to link up with former team-mate Gianfranco Zola at West Ham.

The latest appears to be that Chelsea have rejected his resignation and refused him permission to talk to West Ham.

It only seems fair Chelsea take the moral high ground in these contractual matters, given that when they’ve previously recruited members of their own backroom staff, such as Peter Kenyon and Frank Arnesen, they’ve done so in an entirely above-board and commendable fashion. Obviously...

Beverly Hills Cop 2

The weekend’s final match is a replay of one of 2007/08’s most spectacular and memorable matches, as Aston Villa go to Tottenham.

That match, which Spurs played in an odd-looking blue and white halved kit to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the release of Beverly Hills Cop 2, or something, finished 4-4, with Spurs battling back from 4-1 down with three goals in the final 20 minutes.

Murphy: Celebrated by Spurs, apparently...

Possibly somewhat unsurprisingly, given the nature of Juande Ramos’ summer cull, all four of Spurs goalscorers that evening (Berbatov, Keane, Steed Malbranque and Younes Kaboul) have since departed N17, although whether this was under the ‘advice’ of Sergei Rebrov is unclear.

The sad fact of the matter is, the match won't be a fraction as compelling as last year's (they said, hoping to be proven wrong... yet again). Spurs have strengthend at the back with the signing of Vedran Corluka and Heurelho Gomes whilst being weakened at their formerly sharp end, having lost Keane, Berbatov and Jermain Defoe since that 4-4 classic. The bulk of Villa's summer spending has also been on defensive players.

FourFourTwo.com's Premier League Predictions

Saturday September 13

Liverpool 1-1 Man Utd
Blackburn 1-3 Arsenal
Fulham 1-1 Bolton
Newcastle 2-1 Hull
Portsmouth 2-1 Middlesbrough
West Brom 1-1 West Ham
Wigan 2-0 Sunderland
Man City 0-2 Chelsea (Live on Setanta Sports 1, 5:30pm)

Sunday September 14

Stoke 1-1 Everton

Monday September 15

Tottenham 1-1 Aston Villa (Live on Setanta Sports 1, 8pm)

Preston braced for Beckham takeover bid

FourFourTwo Team — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Preston chairman Derek Shaw has confirmed the club are ready to enter negotiations to sell a share of the club to David Beckham.

The statement was a reaction to comments made by Beckham in this month’s FourFourTwo (you just knew we had something to do with it, didn’t you?) suggesting he’d be more interested in owning a football team than managing one.

Sadly for Preston, Becks didn’t specify North End as a target, even if they were the first club he represented as a professional, during a loan spell at Deepdale back in 1995.

Although Beckham could certainly do a lot worse than pumping money into an established Championship club with a solid supporter base and a proud history, without being disrespectful to English football’s first mega-club, he may well have his eyes on something slightly more glamorous.

"The sunglasses? £100 billion a pair, mate."

But the sad fact of the matter is that, as much cash as he has knocking about (£112 million at our last count), Beckham just can’t compete with the new breed of Premier League owners, unless he can quickly peddle 100 billion pairs of swish sunglasses or bottles of aftershave.

So the Leytonstone-born maestro may have to set his sights a little lower than former clubs Manchester United or Real Madrid. But who should he target?

Leyton Orient would be a logical choice, being the closest professional club to Becks’ boyhood home. East London is, we’re told, becoming more and more trendy and with the Olympics coming to town in four years' time, billions of people will already be watching that part of the world, so the timing could be spot on.

The Beckham bunch could move into one of the apartment blocks that fills in the four corners of Brisbane Road, although we’d all miss Barry Hearn, wouldn’t we?

Obviously not, but if the boy Beckham really wanted to go back to his roots and make real a difference to a club he could inject some of his hard-earned into Brimsdown Rovers, the East London club he played for as a 14-year-old in 1990.

The Enfield-based club play in the ninth tier of English football, but with a sizable wodge of cash, they could easily rocket up to the Isthmian League or even the Conference South. Although a move to the East End probably wouldn’t be particularly high on Mrs Beckham’s agenda, it is at least commutable from their ‘Beckingham Palace’ HQ.

In fact if David really wanted to impress the missus he could re-name his new club after her. The easiest way to facilitate that change would be to simply buy-out Barry Fry’s stake in Peterborough and con her into thinking the team’s ‘Posh’ nickname was a tribute to the star of Spice World and… errrm… that awful documentary.

Might Beckham's mates descend on Kenilworth Road?

The final option is possibly the most outlandish. With Luton still teetering on the edge of footballing oblivion (or the Blue Square Premier, if that's what it’s called now), Becks could buy out the financially crippled League Two side and merge them with LA Galaxy (can't see any potential logistical problems there...), forming Luton Galaxy and bringing all the glitz and glamour of ‘La la land’ to Bedfordshire.

Move over Nick Owen...

FourFourTwo.com's hyper-super-mega-quiz

FourFourTwo Team — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:00:00 GMT

If European football’s elite are good for anything, it’s ensuring those at the pinnacle of the game get adequate recognition for their achievements.

Bearing that in mind, it’s time to warmly welcome another inductee onto the ‘Goldenfoot Award Walk of Fame’.

Yes, that’s right, the award’s annual winner leaves a permanent mould of his footprints on "THE CHAMPIONS PROMENADE " on the seafront of the Principality of Monaco (the Hollywood of football now, apparently…)

The award, now in its sixth year, is only for football players who are at least 29 years old, who stand out for their ‘sport results’, fair play, personality and are revered by both the public and football ‘experts’ (that’ll be you and us, although which way round is up for debate).

This year’s nominees included David Beckham, Thierry Henry and Gianluigi Buffon.

We could just blurt out the winner’s name in gay abandon, but instead we thought we’d tease you with this rather perplexing, if pointless, quiz:

I was born on April 10th 1973 on a coffee farm.

I have played a total of 13,320 minutes of international football to date, featuring in three World Cups, four continental Championships, one Confederations Cup and one Olympic football championships.

While I was at my first club I supported myself financially by working in a fabric factory

In 2004 Pele named me one of his 125 ‘greatest living footballers’, putting me on a par with Hong Myung-Bo and El Hadji Diouf.

My idol is God, I’ve read his book and everything…

I share my name with a Grammy Award-winning singer known as ‘the King’ in my homeland

Given up? No, it’s not Elvis Hammond (we knew that ‘King’ bit would throw you off the scent), it is none other than Fenerbahce’s former Real Madrid and Brazil swervy-rockety free-kick maestro Roberto Carlos.

"Next stop, eBay!"

And who are we to argue when he’s capable of this…

KK's contract, smug Spurs, Fab's plan & Spanish pub ammo

FourFourTwo Team — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:42:00 GMT

Bonkers old week in FFT world, what with the transfer deadline and Keegan leaving and Keegan coming back and Keegan leaving and Curbishley leaving and some blokes from Abu Dhabi arriving. We’ve barely had time to speak. But we have had time to listen. Because that’s what we do.

Big noises coming out of the north-east this week, many of them expletive. While a cartoon of the baying mob outside Shearer’s Bar, sorry, St James’ Park would have a big speech bubble full of angry exclamation marks, the thought bubble coming from the boardroom would be all question marks – about how to resolve a situation they’d all blundered into together.

Kevin Keegan had made clear his belief in the rehabilitation of Joey Barton by playing him at Arsenal. When the board tried to flog young Joe – not in a cat-o’-nine-tails way, in a get-orf-moy-laahnd way – instead of concentrating on hiring some nice new players, King Kev blew his rapidly greying top.

"If you go, I go. If you don't, I might go anyway"

Anger begat argument begat if-he-goes-I-go begat fair-enough-then. At which point, contracts were studied, and to everyone’s embarrassment it was realised that however the marriage was dissolved, it would end in compensation one way or another, KK having agreed to pay a seven-figure sum if he walked away (again).

Hence the confusion over whether he jumped or was pushed, and the ongoing “discussions” which weren’t so much “Can we make it work?” as “How do we get out of this with the most possible dignity?” This being Newcastle United, don’t expect too much of it. Pity poor Gus Poyet if he comes to Toon; it’s to be hoped the fans don’t vent upon him their righteous anger over the whole sorry mess.

As one era ends with an entire squad transfer-listed on deadline day, as Newcastle’s effectively were on Monday, so another one starts with an entire squad of January transfer targets at the north’s other great comedy club, Man City. The new owners were quick to point out who was on their post-Christmas list, naming Liverpool’s Torres, Arsenal’s Fabregas and – most deliciously for fans and journos alike – Manchester United’s Ronaldo. Which begs the question why they didn’t irk the entire Fab Four by targeting a glamorous young Chelsea player, like… erm… ah.

City did of course put in a phone call to London, with an amusingly newsworthy attempt to “hijack” Man United’s painfully drawn-out signing of Dimitar Berbatov. As it was, the hijack happened at Manchester Airport, with the Bulgarian bundled into a strange car (Sir Alex’s) and driven off to a distant quayside building (Old Trafford, via Carrington and an unusually long medical) without the permission of his parent (club).

Little Dimitar tries to blend into the background

Still, while many in N17 and beyond hoped Spurs would brassneck it out and refuse to allow the player to join United, there are contented murmurs from the Tottenham board. They may have lost a striker, but that wasn’t unexpected; what’s pleasing for them is that they’ve emerged on the moral high ground, forced to sell by a sulking player in cahoots with a rule-bending buying club. And they got the money they wanted – which will probably, despite the squeals of the Sevilla suits, end up in Iberia in January.

City, of course, forced United’s hand by having their own Berbatov bid accepted. This ended up weakening a key rival for a European slot, but it appears to have been made with genuine intent. It was only later that the bids began to resemble a drunk teenager on Championship Manager, with our personal favourite being the attempt to lure the larger Ronaldo to Eastlands.

On to the international break, and folk have been queuing up to have a pop at Fabio Capello. Proof that this isn’t only the English way came in our video interview of Ruud Gullit’s damning-with-faint-praise précis of Fabio’s functional football, while Martin Peters exclusively told us that we’re no nearer knowing Capello’s best team than we were nine months ago – and arguably, neither is he.

What we do know is that England didn’t practise any offensive set-pieces AT ALL before the Czech friendly. It didn’t seem to do the team any harm on the night, considering the Three Lions roared loudest from dead-ball situations, and we think it’s all part of Fabio’s masterplan. See, the game against Croatia might be so tight that it comes down to one goal. And if that goal comes for England from a set-piece that the Croats are completely unable to prepare for, who laughs last? It’s only a theory, but…

Tight-lipped Capello: "Don't tell him, Pike!"

We do know some things for certain, though. Want some knowledge to impress your football friends? Right: tomorrow, Spain could equal the Germans’ record unbeaten run in World Cup qualification. They haven’t lost in 35 qualifiers since 1993, when they were done by Denmark. Still, they shouldn’t get too cocky: however easily they qualify, just like England, they always bottle it when they get to the finals. Don’t they?

Also, Henrik Larsson might win his 100th cap for Sweden tomorrow in Albania, which would make him the fifth Swedish centurion (behind bonkers goalie Thomas Ravelli, Sheffield Wednesday stalwart Roland Nilsson, the authentically-named Bjorn Nordqvist and Niclas Alexandersson – who played for Wednesday, Everton and West Ham without anybody noticing). And which country has the most centurions? The USA, with 11 of 'em.

Right, Jedi, you have your information. At the risk of enraging the Government by encouraging drinking, get yourself down the pub and tell your mates you know something they don’t. And hope they haven’t read this blog too…

Why Fabio's already got it all wrong...

FourFourTwo Team — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:00:00 GMT

Earlier in the week FourFourTwo.com was able to exclusively reveal the deciding factor in Fabio Capello’s decision to include Jimmy Bullard in his squad for Saturday’s game with Andorra and Wednesday night’s crucial clash in Croatia.

However, on further inspection, it seems that Don Fabio probably didn’t use our Talentspotter site to pick his squad after all, because if he had his 23 would have had an altogether different look to it.

We’ve put together our own England side using the ratings provided by our Top Spotters, picking the best players in each position (along with suitable back up), bearing in mind injuries to Steven Gerrard and Micah Richards, the international retirement of Paul Scholes and Jamie Carragher and the fact that players based outside Britain don’t yet feature on our database (in any case, Mr Hollywood being in the squad is probably an argument for another day, say Thursday after we’ve lost to Croatia).

"Boot it into the crowd? I've had the practice..."

So, without further ado, here’s our very own England 23...

Goalkeepers:
David James (Portsmouth), Chris Kirkland (Wigan Athletic), Robert Green (West Ham United)

Defenders:
Rio Ferdinand (Manchester United), Joleon Lescott (Everton), John Terry (Chelsea), Ledley King (Tottenham Hotspur), Billy Jones (Preston North End), Joe Mattock (Leicester City), Richard Rose (Hereford United), Jonathan Woodgate (Tottenham Hotspur)

Midfielders:
Ashley Young (Aston Villa), Lewis McGugan (Nottingham Forest), Jimmy Bullard (Fulham), Anthony McNamee (Swindon Town), David Bentley (Tottenham Hotspur), Joe Cole (Chelsea), Michael Johnson (Manchester City), Frank Lampard (Chelsea)

Strikers:
Simon Cox (Swindon Town), Gabriel Agbonlahor (Aston Villa), Jermain Defoe (Portsmouth), Michael Owen (Newcastle United)

Just going to give you a few moments to ponder that... you done? Lovely.

The three keepers probably aren’t a massive shock. All three have been involved in senior England squads under the current regime and two (James and Green) have been given the nod by Capello this time round.

Paul Robinson, who is the third keeper in the real squad ahead of Kirkland, is waaaaay down the Talentspotter list with a meagre rating of 6.3 compared to the Wigan man’s 7.6.

Green’s 7.7 rating would see him christened England’s ‘number one’, ahead of Kirkland and David James (7.5).

Richard Rose: Better than Pele? Better than Radford?

It’s in defence that we start to see one or two new names putting themselves in contention. While Rio Ferdinand, John Terry, Joleon Lescott, Ledley King and Jonathan Woodgate are all mainstays of the senior side (although the Spurs duo have been omitted by Capello this time round), Billy Jones, Joe Mattock and Richard Rose are most certainly not.

While the inclusion of Rose (7.5) might be surprising to some, we like to think that his high rating is due to his sterling performances in the Bulls’ backline since he joined the newly promoted League One outfit from Gillingham in 2006.

The defence’s other League One star, Mattock (7.5), is perhaps a more familiar name, having been linked with a host of Premier League sides in the summer and receiving a late call-up to Stuart Pearce’s U21 side this week.

Preston defender Billy Jones (7.5) has been touted as a potential Premier League defender since his Crewe days and his versatility would make him a very useful addition to the England set-up.

No place then for Ashley Cole (6.7) then. Such a tragic shame, that...

The surprises come thick and fast in the midfield too, with inclusions for Forest youngster Lewis McGugan (7.5), Swindon winger Anthony McNamee (8.0) and... errrrrm... Frank Lampard (7.6).

Simon Cox: Never lets his country down...

Another Swindon star, Simon Cox (7.9), is the stand-out name among the strikers and interestingly it seems our Spotters deem Michael Owen worthy of an inclusion, even if his 40 goals in 89 international matches mean nothing to Capello.

Furthermore, while Theo Walcott (7.4) is goalless for England, it’s worth pointing out that Cox has never failed to score when selected for the senior side, for what that's worth.

Using the tried and tested system adopted by England managers for generations, we’ve opted to throw together the 11 best players then cobble together a half-workable formation rather than picking a decent, tried and tested system before fitting suitable players into it.

Thusly our line-up for the Andorra match on Saturday would be as follows:

GK Robert Green
CB John Terry
CB Rio Ferdinand
CB Joleon Lescott
RM David Bentley
CM Jimmy Bullard
CM Michael Johnson
CM Lewis McGugan
LM Ashley Young
CF Gabriel Agbonlahor
CF Simon Cox

Substitutes: Chris Kirkland, Billy Jones, Ledley King, Joe Cole, Anthony McNamee, Jermain Defoe, Michael Owen.

Roll on South Africa... right?

The Man City takeover: What the fans think...

FourFourTwo Team — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Everton and Spurs have long been touted as the two teams most likely to eventually break up the quartopoly (if this isn’t a real word it should be) of Man United, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool, but have Man City overtaken them as the team most likely to usurp one of the big four this season and force one of them to suffer the ignominy of UEFA Cup football next term?

Could they even push for the title?

We’ve spoken to fans of United, Arsenal and Chelsea to see what they make of the developments of the past 48 hours in an attempt to gauge whether they’re really scared of football’s newest financial superpower.

"I miss Georgios Samaras soooooo much!"

Chelsea appear to have been de-throned as English football’s big spenders. Is Chelsea fan Ed Kemp concerned?

“Not a problem for me - good luck to them. There are lots of good players out there and Chelsea will still get their fair share, as will Manchester United, Liverpool and Spurs. As United kept reminding us, you can only have 11 on the pitch at any given time and the eleven we can put out at the moment will do fine!

Plus, I get a bit bored of people banging on about the money (even though United, Tottenham and now City have outspent us over the past two year), so City fans can put up with the moans and vitriol of other fans once the honeymoon period is over.

“I’ve always said that over time every club in the Premiership will have a mega rich owner – and if Arsenal have any sense they’ll realise they need to get one in pretty quick. Also, don’t forget that we are not even the richest club in West London – that title belongs to QPR!”

Robinho was widely believed to be heading for Stamford Bridge, with City seemingly coming from nowhere to clinch his signature at the 11th hour (and 50-odd minutes). Does Ed think City be able to poach more of Chelsea’s targets in future?

“It could happen again, but I think it had more to do with Kenyon's arrogance rather than being gazumped as the papers keep saying.”

But can City forge a real title challenge in the not too distant future?

“Absolutely! Players always have and always will go to the clubs that offer the best chances of winning and the best earning opportunities. City now offers players both of those.

“That said, having great players doesn't guarantee trophies (or even entertaining football) as we've found out, but it'll always make you competitive. This year is probably too early for them, even though they’ve spent upwards of £60 million, but I don’t see why they couldn’t win it next year.”

Next up is Arsenal fan Robert Frumkin: “I’m not really jealous of City - I'm concerned Arsenal haven't spent on one or two key areas, but if I got jealous every time other clubs went out and spent more than us, I'd be permanently peeved!

In truth, I'm happy for City - their fans have been through the mill for so long and in the shadow of Man United, it's good they've got something to finally laugh about.”

But did our Gooner think City would rival them to a top four place? “Not this year, but 2009/10 might be a different story!”

That’s all very well and good, but what do they make of it all across Manchester?

“Jealous? Not a bit. City’s new owners clearly wanted to make a big statement. They did that with Robinho – and to be honest, I’d rather he went to City than Chelsea”, claims United fan Matt Saunders.

“City failed to poach Berbatov. They haven’t bought any of our squad. So why should United fans feel slighted? We got our man.

This is honestly not at all gratuitous...

“City have a way to go, and a great deal more to spend, before they can threaten United & Chelsea. Sure, they’ve just pipped us on the spending front – but United have never been a big-spending transfer club and never will be with Fergie in charge.

“If they continue to play well, I see them in the race for third, along with Arsenal, Villa & Liverpool this season. They’ll need at least 12 months of excellent football, plus Champions League qualification, before anyone will take them seriously as Premiership title contenders.

Hughes and Al-Fahim could make the difference, but it won’t happen overnight.”

So those in the red half of the city are still relatively calm it would seem, for now at least: “When City win the double, I’ll start to worry. Having said all that, I’m sure they’ll beat us at least once this season: like Boro, they’re becoming a bit of a bogey team.”

Yeah, but when did Boro ever sign a Brazilian superstar...?

Last, but certainly by no means least, we spoke to City’s very own loyal band of supporters, who will surely never forget where they were when they found out they were about to change the face of the Premier League.

“I always check the BlueVibe message board and NewsNow for any latest news, and obviously the last day of transfer deadline is always active. When the news filtered through about the takeover at City, things got a bit busier!" says lifelong City fan Steven.

"I actually took a full hour 'off' to watch Dragons Den - and so by 10pm, when I flicked over to SkySportsNews and checked the message board - the glorious plan started to become apparent.

Hughes had been knocking a golf ball about, safe in the knowledge that the Brazilian wonder had been sealed, whilst faxes with crazy money for the Bulgarian had ensured ‘Sir Taggart’ didn't have such a comfortable day - a warning shot if ever I've seen one.

"At 11.58pm City had posted on their official site of the Robinho signing, and so all attention was on whether Spurs would have the guts to tell Trafford to "do one," and then where the worried little lambs would actually try and discuss this in their one syllabic sentences - given that the United We Stand fanzine message board had crashed with the weight of worry at about 7pm!

"City selling it's soul? Champions (and runners up, second & third place) League next season? Overtake the team next door to Harry Ramsdens?

To be honest, I don't really care, it isn't real. As a Chelsea mate of mine has said over the past few years; I'm just here for the party whilst it's still on.

For every Robinho, Ronaldo and any other £200m fantasy bid for a player with an ‘o’, there will always be the 4-1 win at Ipswich in the cup, looking invincible with Andy Morrison, 10-1 v Huddersfield (White, Steward & Adcock hat-tricks), Gary Neville on his *** at Maine Road and an incident at Forest away I can only attribute to the vodka and cola bottles we sneaked in..."

Fellow City fan Bill Murray is maybe slightly more aprehensive.

“I have mixed feelings. I’m delighted to be in position to stick it to the dirty reds across town and especially the Jonny-come-latelys from Stamford Bridge. I have no concerns about the Abu Dhabi mob and am actually quietly relieved to see back of ‘Frank’.

I believe the Abu Dhabi boys are serious, committed and for the long term. But I have no idea if they understand football and especially what ‘proper’ clubs like City mean to the fans.

“I would obviously love a David Villa and perhaps a small number of truly high class additions, but actually think money being spent on one of the best academies around is also a priority. We’ve brought through Hart, Richards, Onuaha, Wright-Phillips, Johnson, Ireland, Evans, Sturridge and still have a long line coming through from last year's FA Youth Cup winning side.

The quality is there but it will need to be supported intelligently by some good buys. If we do it all the Chelsea way by buying an entire squad it simply won't mean as much (I'll take it but won't enjoy it as much!)

City's kids beat Chelsea. A sign of things to come?

Very admirable, but what does Bill envisage for City this term?

“There’s no reason we can’t finish third or fourth, but I suspect a trophy of some sort will be the more likely outcome. It’s possible that won't be enough to keep Hughes in his job, but I’m not totally in love with him anyway!

So, a new owner, a new manager, loads of new decent-looking players (including two Brazilians) and new, very high, expectations. Yeah, there’s no way this could ever end in tears...

Keegan heads for the exits... again

FourFourTwo Team — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 15:00:00 GMT

If a week is a long time in politics, a day’s an eternity in football.

On Monday morning Manchester City were a club without a rudder and Newcastle were signing exotic foreigners; by Tuesday lunchtime City were as rich as Midas and the Toon were once more waving goodbye to King Kev.

For such an unpredictable outfit, Newcastle are incredibly predictable.

Different day, same old Newcastle

They get a manager, they spend money, they reach for the stars and they fall on their ***. There’ll be an avalanche of Told You So, and far be it from FourFourTwo to refrain: back in January, writing for the March issue that comes out in February (keep up, dear), our esteemed Editor-in-Chief wrote that the newly reinstated Keegan had “lost his mojo” before warning that “it’s hard to imagine the affair won’t end in tears, acrimony and another divorce”.

The gaffer (ours, not Newcastle’s) also quoted an earlier FFT interview in which the Messiah said “I don’t believe you can ever go back somewhere and be the same”. He was right.

The mid-’90s Newcastle of Ferdinand, Shearer, Asprilla, Ginola and the rest had every chance of winning the title. This time, Keegan quickly admitted he couldn’t imagine the Mags so much as breaking into the top-four oligarchy: “We’ll be trying to get to fifth and trying to win the other league that’s going on within the Premier League.”

Humbled by circumstance and hobbled by in-fighting – chairman Chris Mort lasted less than a year, while lager-loving owner Mike Ashley has admitted looking for “investment partners.” Word is that the Abu Dhabi group sniffed around the club before moving on to Manchester – Newcastle entered the new season in typical style: with a shiny new winger and an eye-wateringly expensive defender who may or may not cure their characteristically calamitous back-line.

When James Milner was sold to Villa – strong contenders for that famous fifth place – against the express wishes of King Kevin, storm clouds gathered over the hilltop fortress of St James’ Park. Keegan’s subsequent decision to bring on Joey Barton during the usual 3-0 defeat at Arsenal could be seen as a touching defence of a player under fire, it could also be read as a defiant two fingers to Ashley, long thought to have wanted rid of the midfielder.

Five pints please, and be quick about it...

Already marginalised by the short but dark shadow of Dennis Wise (“executive director of football,” whatever that means), Keegan wanted significant expenditure on deadline day.

Having bounced out of bed like a kid at Christmas, he’d have been disappointed to unwrap only Spanish forward Xisco (no, us either) and a borrowed winger called Nacho – while the money men haggled unsuccessfully over a swap deal with Portsmouth for that man Barton, prompting the midfielder to text SkySportsNews professing his desire to stay on Tyneside.

Cue the meeting, the arguing and the storming out.

The latest word is that Keegan has been sacked, but it would come as no surprise to hear he had walked out – as he had last time he was in this black-and-white-hot seat, having “taken the club as far as I can.” In fact, he’d resigned within a month of first becoming manager, with only Sir John Hall’s open chequebook and stirring homilies cajoling him back.

Indeed, if breaking up is hard to do, it comes easily for Keegan. He also walked out on England (as manager, in the Wembley toilets, and as player, after being left out of Bobby Robson’s first squad), Liverpool (seeking bigger challenges abroad), Hamburg (seeking challenges back at home), Southampton (after boss Lawrie McMenemy criticised the team en masse), Fulham (for England) and Man City (to retire again).

Kev makes his way to the Wembley toilets

As ever, the secret of comedy is timing.

The day after the similarly slapstick Manchester City suddenly become the world’s richest club on deadline day and throw mind-boggling offers to various fax machines, Newcastle sack their manager the day after his only full transfer window closes, seven months after he replaced Sam Allardyce – who also had seven months and one transfer window, spent millions and left the club in 11th place.

A day may be an eternity in football, but more than half a year later, Newcastle have gone nowhere.

Transfer deadline day: An evening with Jim White

FourFourTwo Team — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 09:00:00 GMT

What better way to spend a Monday than eagerly watching the likes of lovable Scottish ‘cheeky chappie’ Jim White and his fellow sports news presenters aimlessly stumble their way through a whole raft of tedious transfer rumours and tittle-tattle in?

Cutting yourself repeatedly with a rusty blade while reading Ashley Cole’s autobiography and listening to Scouting for Girls’ back catalogue for 24 hours, perhaps.

In any case, this is exactly what many thousands of football fans the length and breadth of the country will have done yesterday (the sports news channel thing, not the Scouting for Girls thing, we hope), anxiously waiting for their club to unveil the shiny new centre-back/goalscorer/bloke who can actually kick the sodding ball straight they’ve been desperate for since... well, mid-August.

Scouting For Girls? Try finding us a good left-back instead, mate...

When FourFourTwo.com woke up on Sunday morning, Manchester City were the country’s favourite ‘crisis-club’, on the verge of a footballing and financial implosion. By the time our heads finally hit the pillow in the early hours of Tuesday (just to clarify, we all sleep in separate beds), they had gubbed Sunderland 3-0 away from home, become possibly the richest club in the world thanks to their new Arab owners and completed the sensational signing of Brazilian superstar Robinho, having put feelers out for Dimitar Berbatov, David Villa and Mario Gomez along the way.

Golf

All the excitement at Eastlands wasn’t enough to tear Mark Hughes away from the golf course, with the City boss seemingly insistent on finishing his round before sitting down for talks with Berbatov, long after his club had agreed a fee with Spurs (City may have new owners, but they're still quaintly old-fashioned in the way they get permission to speak to players before doing so).

Whether it was that delay or the fact Berbatov wanted to play Champions League football at a club where it isn’t blatantly all going to end in tears (come on City fans, we’ve been here before haven’t we?) remains a mystery, but chances are it was a bit of both.

The confirmation that the Bulgarian would finally be completing his protracted move to Old Trafford actually came after midnight, with Spurs announcing the £30.75 million deal on their official website at 00:35.

Berbatov smiles. No, the photo's not upside-down...

It was in this statement that a more surprising transfer was confirmed: Fraizer Campbell’s loan move to White Hart Lane.

With allegations abound that Sir Alex pretty much abducted Berbatov from Manchester airport and drove him to their own training ground when Spurs had been expecting him to travel to City’s, it is at this stage unclear whether the ramifications of United’s conduct will be any more severe than a slap on the wrist and being forced to spend 20 minutes on the naughty step.

One thing that is for sure is that, for the first time this summer, a tedious, drawn-out transfer saga has ended in the player getting the move he had initially wanted, after Emmanuel Adebayor, Cristiano Ronaldo, Frank Lampard, Didier Drogba and Gareth Barry all ended up staying with the clubs they spent 2007/08 with.

Best day EVER!!!

Despite the amazing scenes in both the blue and red corners of Manchester in the dying hours of Monday night, the big question on the lips of the good ship FourFourTwo.com was whether Sky Sports News duo Ian and Alex Payne were related or not.

The pair doubled up between 10am and 1pm, with Payne the younger getting a bit carried away with the excitement of it all, as displayed by the following dialogue:

Ian P: This is one of the best transfer deadline days ever!
Alex P: This is one of the best days ever!

Bless him. We can't discount the possibility that Alex is Ian’s 13-year-old son and has been brought in to Sky Sports HQ to stave off the boredom of the final few days of the summer holidays.

There were more scenes of slightly over-the-top elation developed later on outside the Britannia Stadium, where Stoke clinched late deals for Sunderland defender Danny Higginbotham, Palace midfielder Tom Soares and Sheffield United winger Michael Tonge – him that looked really good five years ago. Literally dozens of fans congregated outside the ground to await the return of the Messiah (that’s Higginbotham by the way), Tonge and Soares, who, as good as they are, would probably be the first (and second and third, presumably) to admit they’re not quite in the Robinho bracket.

"...and for my next trick, I'll turn water into a long punt upfield!"

Other than the two last-minute Manchester mega-deals, the deadline day was probably an anti-climax. No big new signings at Tottenham (other than the confirmation of Roman Pavlyuchenko and Vedran Corluka arriving at White Hart Lane), Arsenal, Chelsea or Newcastle (the fact Valencia and Deportivo were more keen to point out that their players were leaving Spain than Newcastle were to announce they’d be arriving in the northeast speaks volumes). Everton, oddly, announced the £15 million signing of Belgian midfielder Marouane Fellani from Liege at gone six in the morning. Maybe their fax-machine was knackered.

So the window shuts for another four months and fans of most clubs outside Manchester (and Stoke, it would seem) may well feel like they’ve got their little finger caught in the swine. Roll on January 1st!

The real reason Fabio picked Fulham's Bullard

FourFourTwo Team — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 12:00:00 GMT

Tucked away tightly between a high-scoring weekend of Premier League action and an almost certainly equally frantic transfer deadline day, Fabio Capello last night named his first competitive England squad.

While the omission of Michael Owen has been the story that’s dominated the back pages this morning, the issue that will have really caught the football public’s imagination will have been the shock inclusion of Jimmy Bullard.

Bullard: Looking sharp as ever

But should it have been a shock? FourFourTwo.com can exclusively reveal Fabio Capello’s reasoning for selecting the lovable 70’s throwback.

To do this we need point you no further than our sister website FootballTalentSpotter.com, a nifty little site that allows you, the football public, to rate every professional footballer in Great Britain.

At the time of writing Mr Bullard was sat in 13th place in our Hotlist, making him the fifth highest English Premier League midfielder. However with Steven Gerrard (crocked) and Paul Scholes (retired) ahead of him, he more than warrants a place in the team for Saturday’s match with Andorra, and that’s science…or democracy…or something.

"I'm not sure who to put on, anyone got a Blackberry?"

Anyway, the esteemed Mr Capello is obviously using FootballTalentSpotter.com to help him pick his squads, which can only be good news for Wolves’ Matt Jarvis, who at the time of writing was floating around the lower half of the Hotlist’s top 10.

It might be worth waiting by the phone Matt if Frank Lampard picks up a knock, that’s all we’re saying...

Hull vs Wigan in the Premier League... who'd have thunk it?

FourFourTwo Team — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 14:41:00 GMT

Ignore what the miserable old naysayers on other football websites tell you about the Premier League becoming predictable and ‘stale’; the element of surprise in English football is still alive and well, as was proven by last weekend’s results.

This honestly isn’t an attempt by the FourFourTwo.com posse to justify our frankly woeful predictions for last weekend’s matches, although Sunderland, Stoke and Fulham did all slap us square in the face with that giant wet fish we call ‘football-magic’ by winning for the first time this season on Saturday against Spurs, Villa and Arsenal respectively, contrary to our supposedly ‘better’ judgement.

Stoke beat Villa: We honestly didn't see that coming...

And if those three results weren’t enough to convince you that the shock level in Premiership football still stands at a decent level, then one of this Saturday’s matches provides just the tonic.

Quigley vs Geovanni

The last time Hull hosted Wigan with league points at stake was back in November 1996, when 3,537 people ‘packed’ into Hull’s old Boothferry Park ground to see the two sides play out a 1-1 draw.

That it’s taken only 12 years for both sides rocket through the divisions to take their seats at the top table of English football says a lot about exactly how ‘predictable’ football really is. Their sheer presence in the top-flight wouldn’t have been predicted back in ’96, in fact you’d probably have said it was more likely they’d have gone bust and dropped as many divisions the other way.

Among the players on show that presumably drab November day were John Butler, Wayne Biggins (both of Wigan), Mike Quigley and Neil Mann (of Hull City 'fame'), which, given that Saturday’s teamsheet will most likely feature names like Boateng, Geovanni, Palacios and Zaki, probably says a lot about how far the two teams have come since those far simpler times in the basement division (which presumably makes 'League One' the ground floor, 'the Championship' the first floor and 'the Premier League' the loft-conversion with poncy Velux windows which was hastily installed in a wave of early 90's optimism and ludicrous over-spending).

Biggins: Probably didn't play for Honduras

In any case Hull will look to copy Wigan’s model of cementing themselves as loft conversion - sorry, Premier League mainstays over the next three or four years and have started the right way, picking up four points from a relatively tough opening two matches against Fulham and Blackburn.

The latics themselves, on the other hand, are still without a point and will be more than keen to avoid going into the International break pointless.

This match looks like being an open, yet fairly close one. You get the feeling that, what with all the excitement and novelty of being in the Premier League dying down slightly, Hull might just approach this game with a little less vigour - giving Wigan, who have a host of decent players, it has to be said, a chance of picking up their first point of the season.

Later on Saturday afternoon Newcastle travel to London and will look to build on their steady start to the season against Arsenal.

The Toon followed their impressive opening day point at Old Trafford with a hard-fought win over Bolton last time out and at this early stage look like being a tougher nut to crack than they have been in recent years.

The Gunners, as previously mentioned, lost at Fulham last week and seem to be struggling to strengthen their squad with the desired quality, despite the club insisting that money is available for Arsene Wenger to spend.

New faces

With Fabregas back and a decent mid-week win against FC Twente under their belts, Arsenal should just about edge this one, although if they don’t get one or two new faces through the door by Monday night, we fancy they won’t be able to maintain a real title tilt for another year at least.

Two sides that don’t seem to have had any problems bringing in new faces in recent weeks have been Sunderland and Manchester City.

Both have added to their squads through the transfer window and have spent again this week, with Sunderland signing West Ham centre back Anton Ferdinand and Man City re-signing Shaun Wright-Phillips from Chelsea, although it seems that where Man City are opting for quality (Jo, Kompany, Wright-Phillips), Roy Keane is just punting on quantity, panic-bulk-buying with the kind of desperation you usually see in the prelude to a natural disaster, or when Harry Redknapp gets bored and/or twitchy.

Anton gave up his weekend job to move north

Both new boys may be in action on Sunday as the two teams go head to head at the Stadium of Light and although both sides won well last weekend and played 120 minutes of football in midweek, City’s European excursions may just leave them lagging somewhat, given that they played a day later than Sunderland and, of course, had further to travel.

Whether or not this will be a factor come Sunday remains to be seen but what we do know is that if Sunderland defend as well as they did at Tottenham last week and City play anything like they did in Denmark on Thursday, Sunderland keeper Craig Gordon can expect to have a very, very quiet afternoon.

FourFourTwo.com Premier League predictions:

Saturday
Bolton 2-1 West Bromwich Albion
Everton 1-0 Portsmouth
Hull City 1-1 Wigan
Middlesbrough 2-0 Stoke
West Ham United 1-1 Blackburn Rovers
Arsenal 2-1 Newcastle (Live on Setanta Sports 1, 17:30)

Sunday
Aston Villa 1-1 Liverpool
Chelsea 2-0 Tottenham
Sunderland 1-0 Man City