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La Liga Loca

A sideways look at Spanish football


Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot

See all posts

Monday's Good Day, Bad Day - Round 30


Monday 31 March 2008 12:29

Good Day

Villarreal

The big debate in Spain - aside from whether the country's Eurovision entry 'Rodolfo Chikilicuatre' is a national disgrace or one of the wonders of the world - is whether Villarreal possess the footballing tackle to go for the league title.

La Liga Loca stands alone - again - and thinks that they do. Earlier in the season, the Yellow Submarine were akin to Gonzalo Higuaín in front of goal when faced with the prospect of going top, but as Sunday night at the Bernabeu showed, anything is possible.

Now that Villarreal's place in the Champions League is safely secured, the blog feels that this may give the players the powerful porridge needed to give the league title a good old go.

Real Madrid's Defence

Whilst most plaudits in the Madrid press have gone to Raul for his cracking effort against Sevilla, the unheralded heroes of the hour for Real Madrid were the side's back three (Marcelo doesn't count).

Fabio Cannavaro has turned from donkey to Don in the space of seven days, with his control over Kanouté and Fabiano, but Gabriel Heinze was the pick of the bunch after scoring his first goal for the club and for a string of outstanding interventions and barnstorming blocks.

With eight games still to play and Real Madrid set to lose to Mallorca, next weekend, the league title is far from won. But Sunday's 3-1 victory was the team's best performance for some time and a big old thump on the table, as El Mundo claims.

Racing Santander

Marcelino's men have reacted to their Copa del Rey knock out against Getafe with two straight wins. Racing's success this season has been built on a tight as a Catalan back five - the team has kept 16 clean sheets - and goals coming from all areas of the pitch, with 11 separate league scorers.

Ivan Boldado's cheeky reverse flick that grabbed the third in their 3-0 pounding of the pathetic Pericos reflected the ingenuity and downright cheekiness of a Racing side that are only out of the Champions League places on goal difference.

Almería

If past seasons are to be believed, then Almeria have hauled themselves over the threshold of survival with their 2-1 win over Levante. And it will be of great relief to Unai Emery and co as the side had failed to win any of their last five games.

Whatever happens to the club, this season, whether they try to take on Espanyol or opt for an Aston Villa style mental holiday, one of the highlights of the year will be Emery explaining on a white board how his side were going to beat Real Madrid. And then doing so. Chapeau.

Dani Güiza

Scored his 16th and 17th goals of the season for Mallorca, on Sunday afternoon, ensuring that he remains the top Spanish Primera striker and will still be picked ahead of Raul for his country. Which is always funny.

But Gregorio Manzano's claim that the forward will score 20, this season, may well lead to dazzling Dani heading to England this summer. And if you are to believe Getafe's Angel Torres' claims that his forward used to ring him at four in the morning when completely lost, it's a spell that may not go well.

Valladolid

Apparently, Valladolid are the side which has made the most crosses, this season. 1004 to be exact. The trouble is that most of them have been missing their two front men - Llorente and Víctor - of late with the front pair only managing three goals in the team's previous nine outings.

But this drought ended on Sunday with an unbelievably important double against visiting Zaragoza in Valladolid's so crucial it hurts 2-1 win.

Xisco

The Arizmendi affect strikes again. The second worst striker in the league bagged a hat trick for Deportivo on Sunday. But all with his head. Which makes the blog continue its suspicions that the forward possesses Toblerone-shaped feet.

Edu

As well as scoring his traditional 'ball from the left header', the brilliant Betis striker bagged an absolute corker to beat Barcelona. The victory also owed a great deal to David Odonkor who finally looked like the fastest player in Europe (100m in 10.80 seconds, apparently) and the footballer who was half decent for Germany in the World Cup.

Betis looked dead and buried in the first half but showed they possessed as much bottle as their fans to claw their way back to win a very famous victory.

Bad Day

The Men in Suits


So Betis got their way, in the end, after stalling for 10 days and played their match in the de Lopera stadium. And AS, for one, were not impressed with the way the Spanish footballing authorities handled the whole affair.

"The decision was made some 30 hours before the game. A new record", wrote Alfredo Relaño. "It's a dark world stuffed with influences, jealousies, changes in criteria and jurisprudence for all tastes", continued the paper's editor on the state of the game in Spain.

Barcelona

There's a lot of things to do on a pleasant Sunday morning in Barcelona. Take a trip on the terrifying cable-car over the harbour. Get pick-pocketed. But 200 locals decided to turn up at Barça's training session to yell all manner of insults at the players.

"Millionaire Mercenaries!". "Less screwing and more playing!", were a couple of the gems hurled and two taunts that have never been laid at La Liga Loca's door. One particularly angry man even scrawled a message in biro on a piece of A4 thinking that Marquez and co had X-Men style super vision.

It looks like the Saturday night Barça disaster was a bridge too far for both the fans and hacks of the Catalan club. "Disgraceful!" "That's Enough!" wrote Mundo Deportivo. "Intolerable! Unacceptable! Impotent!" screamed Sport, a paper who still found space amongst its rants to flog its Barcelona travel bag. Maybe Frank Rijkaard will buy one.

Getafe

A not-dressed-for-the-cold-and-rain La Liga Loca headed down to the Coliseum, on Sunday, to watch a match that even victorious coach, Ziganda, admitted was "not great". But he was still happy after seeing his side scrap their way to a 2-0 win.

It's a second league defeat in a row for Getafe who clearly have their minds elsewhere. "With 48 games in their legs, the Madrid team has the right to save energy", opined El Pais. But not until they have broken the 42 point barrier, perhaps.

Atlético Madrid

Last week, La Liga Loca wrote that the rojiblancos had suddenly grown a pair. Looks like it dropped off, just as quickly.

Valencia

"Koeman Stay!" "Koeman Out!" were just two of the cries heard in Mestalla over the past 10 days with the fans not knowing if they are coming or going. Rather like the players who were rolled over 3-0 by visiting Mallorca.

"We left a lamentable image", complained the Dutch coach. "The players were playing for themselves, not the team", he continued pointing a big old finger at David Villa who walked from the pitch, after being substituted without acknowleging the oncoming Joaquín.

Espanyol

Despite another defeat for Espanyol, Paul from Barcelona, seems surprisingly chirpy - perhaps after his Sunday morning trip to the Camp Nou training ground.

"Well the performance wasn't as bad as the scoreline suggests but it was still awful. Should have had a couple of penalties and had a perfectly good goal disallowed for God knows what. But Racing seemed to get the run of the ball and here lies the problem. Nothing is going our way at the moment.

Points for discussion:

Are Spanish refs crap or just incompetent?

Are Aldo Duscher's injury recovery powers better than Clare Bennett from Heroes? He seemed dead then he ran 60 yards. Twice.

Does Marc Torrejon look like 90's one-hit wonder Gary Cahill ?

Has Reira decided that being rubbish is more fun than being good ?

And why did my second half sneezing fit start when he came on the pitch and stop at the final whistle ?

Do Espanyol have enough points not to get relegated?

Just I think. Can't see us winning another game this season.

Only bright spot was watching the donkey eaters capitulation on Saturday."

Paul, Barcelona



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About Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot

When he isn't fighting the evil forces of flamenco or attracting libel actions for La Liga Loca, Tim Stannard is building his media empire in Madrid. As well as contributing to Football365 and doing odd jobs elsewhere, Tim also works in the glamorous world of television as a producer, script writer, news editor, coffee boy and stand-in fluffer.

Simon Talbot? Well, he's a man of mystery.

Comments

  March 31, 2008 13:16

12 Major Chords said:

"As much bottle as their fans..." Haha! Couldn't help it, could you? Great article as ever.

By the way, is Koeman actually trying to freeze-out Joaquin. The way he is being treated is a disgrace.

  March 31, 2008 19:34

Kent said:

I'm smiling today and took the day off for Opening Day.  Saturday night my 16-month old son fell from our couch and fought our stone table.  He lost to the tune of four stitches above the eye.  Me?  Just smiling.  At one point my wife actually told me that going to the hospital wasn't funny.  Now, as I reflect, I was so freaking giddy because the cucumbers made me so.  Now...on to real football:  Beat the crap out of Zaragoza!  DON'T let up!  This liga loca is too damn close to mess around.

  March 31, 2008 20:02

Paul said:

Great result Kent. Made up for that disaster i had to watch.

Tim-i also saw that idiot with the piece of paper.He probably stands around Roadworks and building sites watching and conmmenting(Spanish national Sport for the over 50's),Think "You don't wanna do it like that" from Harry Enfield,

The whole thing was Pathetic.They only started chanting and shouting when the TV cameras arrived. Barça fans can't even protest loudly.

  March 31, 2008 21:10

naren said:

Tim,

Can post the link to your f365 spanish thing article every time you write one?  The link at f365 is pointing to an old article.

  March 31, 2008 21:39

Tim Stannard said:

No probs Naren...they are having some probs with their archiving at the moment. Link attached here...

www.football365.com/.../0,17033,9405_3369501,00.html

Cuatro just did a fine comparison with Valencia fans singing outside Mestalla post Copa del Rey, 10 days ago, singing "Koeman stay! Koeman stay!"

And last night singing "Koeman go! Koeman go!" to the same tune.

  March 31, 2008 22:14

Kent said:

Paul, I feel for you man.  Since coming to this site and reading your stuff, I've followed Espanyol a bit more than I ever had.  They too have been nuts.  At this point, they're safe and it'll allow them time to set things straight and (with this crazy league) maybe vie for a UEFA spot again.  What's their youth situation like?  And, how happy were YOU to see Barca forget to play the second 45?

  April 1, 2008 00:00

Christina said:

"Less screwing and more playing." -- That sort of melts in my mouth like the perfect piece of chocolate, and it's not just because it was hurtled at Barça like a toddler-size plastic spear. Okay, I admit that imagining a baffled Barça as targets for these ingenious punchlines helps a bit, but I fully intend to repeat this hilarity the next time my Real Madrid decide to demonstrate to the 'lesser' squads how to lose like champions. Or maybe I'll try it out the next time Higuaín displays his goal-scoring technique. Ahem...

Tim and Simon, I was recently turned on to your blog from a member of another football site, and I must say that this particular post is a knee-slapping, belly-laughing best. Consider me a new La Liga Loca addict anticipating the next hit.

  April 1, 2008 02:09

eddy said:

Excellent write-up!  The Real Madrid game made up for all my weekend's disappointments. I still thought that Guti was the best of their defenders, but what the hey!

I don't think Arjen Robben should wear white shoes.  They made him look like Tinkerbell.

Real Betis can now count me as a big fan.  I liked them before, but now I would not miss one of their games for anything.

The second half was cracking, but during the first half I was bored and my mind wandered.  I began to think about who had the worst haircut in La Liga after I watched a Chelsea game earlier in the week and saw Joe Cole's hair.  It looks like my five-year-old's after he took the scissors to his own head.  Here's my list:

1) Ever Banega - he looks like Nancy from the old Nancy and Sluggo comic strip.

2) Luis Garcia of Espanyol - thin hair + gel + mullet = loser with the ladies, Luis.

3) Gonzalo Higuain - he looks like Pedja Mejatovic's toy-boy.  What is he thinking?

Answers to Paul's questions:

They are pure crap.

Aldo Duscher is Argentine.  'Nuff said.

Oh is that who Marc Torrejon looks like?  It's been bugging me who he looks like but I couldn't think of it.

Maybe Riera's success went to his head.  Pity, because I used to rate him.

Maybe you are allergic to hair gel. (It could be Luis Garcia, though, not Riera.)

Yes.  I worry for Zaragoza, not Espanyol.

Anything can happen before the end.  Just as long as Barcelona doesn't get back into second.

  April 3, 2008 13:16

Senyor Pirotecnic said:

"Koeman quedate!" was a pisstake.

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