The blame game kicks off in Spain
Tuesday 20 May 2008 11:12
When English clubs talk about adopting a 'continental model' for their side, they really are barking up the wrong footballing tree.
That's because they are under the assumption that the aforementioned structure is designed to give stability and order to a complex multifaceted international organisation.
Unfortunately, that's a load of old baloney.
The 'continental model' is specifically designed so that when things go *** up at a club everyone can point at each other and yell 'it's his fault!'
Just take a look at Barcelona which has - more or less - a President, a Sporting Vice President, a Vice President of Sport, a Technical Secretary, a Secretary of Technical Things and - at the very bottom of the kicking order - a coach.
And they have all been out in force over the past few days making sure that the sporting buck for their recent footballing failures does not end up in their lamentable laps.
Joan Laporta went on Catalan television on Sunday to expose himself - but not in his favoured airport / trousers way - and discuss his crazy plans for the future and his crazy performances of the past.
"I see some images and I don't recognise myself," admitted the King of Catalunya reflecting on a particularly dictatorial Delia Smith moment when he yelled at a group of fans for not been supportive enough and shouting "Come on! We're not so bad!"
But Joan had good reason for his bonkers behaviour. Everyone was out to get him. Oh yes.
"I had microphones in the board room, personal threats and detectives following me," claimed the political president citing his laptop being stolen from his office during Barcelona vs Manchester United as an example of this harassment.
"He recognised his errors but between gritted teeth," sniffed Josep Casanovas in Sport the following day.
Far less entertaining was the press conference given by Sporting VPs Marc Ingla and Txiki Beguiristain a day later.
Seated alongside each other - far less harder to stab each other in the back, that way - the Chuckle Brothers of the Camp Nou happily placed the blame for the season's failings on the coaching staff and the footballers.
"The performance of some of the players has been unsatisfactory," moaned Ingla.
Valencia's own Sporting VP, Rafael Salom has decided to resign from his post citing ill-health as a cause but claiming that he was "happy" with the work he had done.
And the exodus at Zaragoza has begun with their Sporting Director, Miguel Pardeza clearing his desk but expressing his "absolute confidence in the project being lead by Agapito Iglesias and Eduardo Bandrés."
The staff of the medical centre may well want to check the stock to see if anything has gone missing listening to that outstanding assertion.
Real Madrid are finishing off week 18 of their title celebrations by heading off to Saudi Arabia to play Al Nasr and pick up 2 million euros in the process.
Sadly, with one of La Liga Loca's future wives Virginia fighting for her singing survival - for the crime of sounding different! - in the country's version of Pop Idol at the same time, the blog will not be able to update the readers with the result of this undoubtedly entertaining encounter.
In a truly stunning decision that has rocked Spanish football to its very core, Marca have announced that Raúl is the Lord of La Liga having won their Raúl...sorry...Alfredo di Stefano Award for the player of the year.
Once the internet votes for Kun Agüero were discarded and a panel of football Goliaths had a chin wag, this prestigious paperweight was awarded to the Real Madrid captain, with Kun coming in second and Iker Casillas in third.
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About Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot
When he isn't fighting the evil forces of flamenco or attracting libel actions for La Liga Loca,
Tim Stannard is building his media empire in Madrid. As well as contributing to Football365 and doing odd jobs elsewhere, Tim also works in the glamorous world of television as a producer, script writer, news editor, coffee boy and stand-in fluffer.
Simon Talbot? Well, he's a man of mystery.