The rare sound of silence in Spain
Tuesday 03 June 2008 12:18
"......................................"
That's the noise inside Guti's head. Aside from the occasional burst of the Magic Roundabout theme.
That's also the reply from Levante's bosses in response to their players' repeated requests for their pay.
But most of all, that's the reaction of a very underwhelmed Catalan press to the news that Espanyol have appointed a new manager to replace the Olympiacos-bound Ernesto Valverde.
And this isn't due to the unimportance of the proud perico club, but instead it's down to the thundering indifference of the local Barça-mad media to any story not involving the current craziness down at the Camp Nou.
After a meeting lasting less than an hour - La Liga Loca assumes there must have been very good dinner reservations on the line - Espanyol have appointed former number two 'Tintin' Márquez as the new man at the helm at the Montjuic.
"It's the greatest day of my life," squealed the new perico plaything when given the news by club president, Daniel Sánchez Llibre.
Márquez (right) takes over from Valverde (left) at Espanyol
Mundo Deportivo have feigned some vague interest in the news by posting a readers' poll on the subject. Earlier on Tuesday morning a whopping 40 had replied - including La Liga Loca - with a somewhat wobbly 55% of the vote supporting the appointment.
And that lack of confidence has been matched with the news that Tintin is only being offered a year long contract, despite having been the back up to a number of managers at the Montjuic for the last four years.
The next order of business for the Espanyol establishment is to replace the two sponsors who have dropped their deals with the Barcelona club. Latest to go were the short sponsors, suggesting that Maniche may be a possible summer signing with the aim of boosting the amount of advertising space available for any potential promoter.
Real Betis - in a blast of a party popper, rather than a fanfare - have revealed that Paco Chaparro will continue for at least one more year at the Andalusian club.
After "public meetings, ghost meetings, conversations with other coaches, firm declarations, 'he saids' and 'she saids'," according to Marca, the hair-dyed dynamo agreed to an extended one year deal with Darth de Lopera.
But a chirpy Chaparro claims that his own pecuniary position had nothing to do with the time taken to put pen to paper.
"We rarely mentioned my own terms, only proposals to improve the team," claimed a pleased as punch Paco.
Last week Racing Santander unveiled, current Malaga coach, Juan Ramón Muñiz as their man to lead them into the UEFA Cup next season and probable Celta Vigo style relegation.
Muñiz: Ready to lead Celta Vigo to probable doom and gloom
Malaga - a club, along with Real Sociedad, doing their level best to bugger up their chances of promotion from the second - have agreed to the move in fairly friendly fashion. Unlike the league leaders, Numancia, who are still spitting chips over the poaching of their coach Gonzalo Arconada by Almería.
Except he isn't being poached, claims the man in the middle of the maelstrom.
"The President, the Vice President, the owner and sporting directors are lying," claimed Arconada on Friday. "I told them about my intention to leave back in March."
If Unai Emery, the latest manager of Valencia - La Liga's equivalent of a Spinal Tap drummer - is looking a little shell shocked and dishevelled this week, it isn't because he has been forced to watch this musical monstrosity on repeat play, but because he has been studying every single Valencia match from the last campaign in an attempt to decide who's in and who's out of the current bloated 88 man ché squad.
La Liga Loca, for one, salutes you.
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About Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot
When he isn't fighting the evil forces of flamenco or attracting libel actions for La Liga Loca,
Tim Stannard is building his media empire in Madrid. As well as contributing to Football365 and doing odd jobs elsewhere, Tim also works in the glamorous world of television as a producer, script writer, news editor, coffee boy and stand-in fluffer.
Simon Talbot? Well, he's a man of mystery.