La Liga Loca

A sideways look at Spanish football

Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot

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Atletico, Liverpool, UEFA and the Millennium Falcon

Thursday 16 October 2008 10:00

There’s trouble in paradise. All is not well at La Liga Loca’s little lovenest.

In fact, La Liga Loca came home this afternoon to find its clothes in a suitcase on the front lawn, its dinner in the dog and its Millennium Falcon in the bin. With all bits of teabag dribble on it.

You see, boys and girls, this La Liga Loca had a bit of an argument with that La Liga Loca. Not a little lovers’ tiff, oh no. We’d already worked through that leaving the seat up business. This was a proper blazing row, a lock yourself in the bog and scream “Ihateyou-Ihateyou-Ihateyou-Ihateyou!” sort of row. The kind that really pisses off the neighbours.

And it’s all because that La Liga Loca said UEFA were right to close Atletico’s stadium for three games, starting from now.

Right?

Right?!

Now, this La Liga Loca agrees with that La Liga Loca that Atlético are a bunch of incompetent monkeys who make the league and the Federation – yes, this league and Federation - look almost organised.

It agrees that they utterly failed to do any of the things on that great big long list of things to do that UEFA gave them. Even the simple ones. In fact, it hears that they didn’t even have anyone who speaks English in the security meeting with UEFA that day. The same UEFA who, er, work in English.

It agrees that as an institution they deserve UEFA to throw the book at them. In fact, someone should chuck an entire sodding library their way. Very hard.

It agrees that while Atletico have some of the best fans around, they also have some of the worst – a bunch of bloody meat-headed right-wing racist nutters. It agrees that they acted like a bunch of Neanderthals against Bolton. And against Madrid. And Sevilla.

Oh, and Aberdeen.

Clobber! Thwack! Thud! Oof!

It definitely agrees that the reaction from the Spanish press, football people and even the government has been the typical act of blaming those nasty Frenchies rather than actually asking if maybe, perhaps, you know, like, possibly, there is a teensy little chance that there may be a bit of a problem. (Still, at least it’s not Perfidious Albion’s fault this time.)

And it doesn’t mind that the La Liga Loca in-laws extended their stay for another flipping week. Honestly. Well, not much.

It even agrees that Atletico deserve it. Just not now. Not for the reasons they said. Because against Olympique Marseilles, it’s not sure it heard the racist abuse. It’s not saying there definitely wasn’t any; it’s just not saying there definitely was.

Marseille have a number of black players but only one received much abuse - the Nigerian full-back Taye Taiwo. He was singled out after a dreadful challenge on Sergio Aguero.

And amidst the din in the stadium it was hard to judge where the boos ended and the ooh-ooh-oohs began. In fact, this La Liga Loca is not sure if indeed they even did. End and begin, it means.

It also can’t help wondering if UEFA’s men with notebooks and hurt French players and officials were fooled by the war cry of the Atlético fans. Aguero’s nickname is El Kun, his every touch greeted with guttural, almost simian chants of “Kun! Kun! Kun!”

It’s just a thought.

Remember the name?

After all, La Liga Loca, practised in the art of hearing the ooh-ooh-oohs and a regular visitor to the crumbling heap of crap that is the Calderón, wasn’t really sure.

And even if they did go for the racist option – and this La Liga Loca ain’t saying they didn’t … In fact, let’s face it, past evidence suggests they probably did, past evidence like all the other lots and lots and lots of times they did it, or the bananas thrown at Carlos Kameni… But even if they did go for the racist option, that’s not really the point.

It’s a point, but not the point. Not this time. Because even if the decision is right, the timing is wrong. And so are the ones really paying for it.

Sod Atletico: what about us, La Liga Loca? We were going to go to the game. Together. Our special night out. A little quality time. Just you and me. (And a few thousand Scousers.)

Don’t you care about us any more? And don’t you care about the Scousers? The ones who all have hotels, flights and tickets already booked?

Don’t you care that them having to go somewhere else – the same somewhere else, on the same journey to somewhere else, as the Atletico fans – is a recipe for disaster? Imagine the flights and the buses and the trains and the service stations. Aren’t UEFA just creating more problems?

This La Liga Loca agrees that UEFA might be right to punish Atletico, but why punish everyone else? And why now? And why in this way? And… oh, hang on, news just in: it’s back on… The question is, other La Liga Loca, are we?

Here, I’ve bought you some flowers from a geezer at the traffic lights…

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About Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot

When he isn't fighting the evil forces of flamenco or attracting libel actions for La Liga Loca, Tim Stannard is building his media empire in Madrid. As well as contributing to Football365 and doing odd jobs elsewhere, Tim also works in the glamorous world of television as a producer, script writer, news editor, coffee boy and stand-in fluffer.

Simon Talbot? Well, he's a man of mystery.

Comments

	October 16, 2008 15:46 kyoto said: "Atlético are a bunch of incompetent monkeys" Saying this sort of bullshit will not boost your arguments.Personal matter to you or what? Maybe your boyfriend is a Marseille supporter, in that case I could understand.crumbling heap of crap that is the Calderóncrumbling heap of crap that is the Calderón It seems you´re judging the whole history of Atlético de Madrid when you talk about past events with Sevilla And Real Madrid; but the question this moment is: Does Atlético deserve a punishment like this, according to what happened the OMs matchday?You are not able to prove the half of the things you say! If the organisation was that bad, why did Uefa allow the match celebration? "Atlético are a bunch of incompetent monkeys". You don´t have the right to treat that way an institution like Atlético, with more than 40,000 members. Honestly, they deserve an apologise, you are free of expresing your opinion, but not to insult us."crumbling heap of crap that is the Calderón". You are a really "gilipollas".
	October 16, 2008 16:04 AdamCule said: Calm down Kyoto. Nobody is beyond scorn and criticism on these blogs, that's why they call it "freedom" of speech. Atleti are getting it in the neck now, next week it will be Barca, Madrid, Sevilla or Valencia.
	October 16, 2008 16:37 kyoto said: Maybe I need to calm down, but freedom of speech includes respect for everybody. Respect for Atlético and his members.
	October 16, 2008 16:56 Redstar said: I agree with Kyoto. OK, maybe you should calm down a bit, but its seems that La Liga Loca does critise Atletico a bit much. And calling their stadium a "crumbling heap of crap" is utter CRAP. Atletico are a great team and I look forward our encounter. Liverpool are without Torres though, and Im really gutted for him, this match meant so much to him! You'll Never Walk Alone
	October 16, 2008 17:03 BoroKnight said: oi u, there, kyoto!! is this the first blog of LLL u've read? if yes then i suggest you scroll back and read more expert comments from Tim. I dont think hez having a go at ur club but the fact of the matter is for Atletico to come out in the press and say, "The police were hired for protection, and their actions cannot be held as Atletico's actions!!" THIS IS THE STATEMENT......that absolutely blew Platini's Hair-Piece!! I and many others also brought up in yesterday's blog about the misinterpretation of the KUN chants. But there are rascist sodding pins everywhere in the world and also at Atletico. I believe we respect Atletico and all there accomplishments(scrolling wikipedia, search name: Atletico Madrid, trophies here) but still you can admit that these elements are stamping their mark on La Liga, ruining the game, and a very strong action had to take place. Oh and Tim( u who brings argument for arguments sake) TELL ME WHAT SHOULD UEFA DO HMM? how can it please everyone.....while punishing the ones that should be?? They need to hit Atletico now as the Liverpool game will bring them ample revenue, big part cozza el nino, it will send a message to other spanish teams in european competition and will smack the spanish FA into sense(hopefully!) all they come up with are fines that freakishly resemble Maniche's daily Mcdonald tab!! THERE!! man i'm so wound up!! neighbours cat up for a field goal tonite!!!
	October 16, 2008 21:15 Paul said: As Tim Lives in madrid and attends more Atletico games in a year than we all will in a lifetime i believe his take on things. Boroknight had it spot on, over the years Tim has been more than fair to Atletico giving praise when praise was deserved and a willingness to have a go when it was required. As he pointed out yesterday this is not the first time that Atletico fans have caused trouble. Frenete Atletico are as scary as any Spanish ultra group and as for the stadium, it ain't the Bernabeau that's for sure. As for freedom of speech- you both have the right to say what you. There's nothing racist or Seriously offensive in what Tim said and after all if it wasn't for his hard work and dedication none of us would be having this debate. By the way, i've never met Tim or even spoken to him. I've only ever communicated with him by email or on his Pages. So it's not like i'm defending him for personal reasons. you telling it how i see it.
	October 16, 2008 21:18 Paul said: P.s hopefully Adam it'll be Barça. What about this MLS thing ? I've got some great ideas for names but i'm saving them for a later debate
	October 16, 2008 22:07 AdamCule said: I knew you'd bring up the MLS thing. Laporta really has gone mad with power now, it's an absurd idea and I hope the MLS chuck out our bid. Very embarassing, to say the least and the board deserve any sh*t that comes their way over this hairbrain scheme.
	October 16, 2008 22:36 judas pissed said: I think the MLS franchise is a fantastic idea! Surprised no other team thought of it first. Obviously cos it's Barca who have done it they are going to get a bashing on this blog but it's a very sound commercial and sporting idea.
	October 16, 2008 22:50 PhilJones said: Kyoto - don't take it too personally. It should be evident that this blog is mainly written from the neutral fan-from-abroad view point. Every club is fair game and gets it as much as the other, from Atletico to Betis to Real to Barca. Valencia got it much worse last season. I'm actually fairly surprised they over-turned the ban, but I'd like the to think that that is purely to cause as little disruption to Liverpool fans (due to the short notice). Great to see the comments section getting some action though, hopefully more people will keep adding.
	October 16, 2008 23:41 AdamCule said: Judas, the concern I have as a Barca member is over how much this franchise is going to be a reflection of the club in Catalunya. If it is to carry the name of FCB then would the elected president in Catalunya have a say on club matters in Barca USA (or whatever it's called)? If not then it's an afront to the very ethos of FC Barcelona and whether it makes good business sense or not is irrelevant if it undermines the club's raison d'etre.
	October 17, 2008 05:33 BoroKnight said: The only reason i can see for UEFA's u-turn are the Liverpool fans. Atletico have come out and asked its fans to behave but if something happens at the Liverpool game, i shudder to think what Platini will do to Atletico. OH and Tim ANSWER MY QUESTION!!! p.s United Smuts of America aka Barca Usa HA! had to sneak that one in!
	October 17, 2008 09:29 Giovanni said: I'm just sick of Ultra's everywhere! Whether its Roma or Inter, Betis or Sevilla, Espanyol or Atletico, Feyenoord or Ajax and lets never forget Westham and Millwall. While i dont think Atletico are crap, nor is their stadium crap, i do think hooliganism around the world CRAP. The sooner Ultra's go and start a fight-Club outside of football the better it will be for everyone. Their is no place for radicals in football and i'd like to see those who are caught placed on a database and banned from stadium support forever. Everyone would have to show proof of identity upon entering the stadium and if yours is a match to whats on the system, you wont the hell be entering! That way you keep the rubbishes out and the true supporters in! Hala Madrid
	October 17, 2008 13:45 AdamCule said: Maybe your club could follow Barça's example in making an effort to get rid of the hooligan element rather than giving the Ultras Sur free tickets and early entry in to the bernabéu to prepare their neo-fascist banners.
	October 20, 2008 05:13 Guerrero said: All I gotta say is when LLL get to talking with 'this' and 'that' I can't help but think of God the Father and God the Son: "Tell you what, Son. I'm gonna send you down to Earth for a bit, and it may get rough. But, don't fret because I'll be hurtin' too, cuz actually you're ME." LLL sometimes you make my brain hurt. As for Atléti and UEFA and the away fans, please continue...
	October 20, 2008 13:27 Giovanni said: yes yes Adam, i will admit that the bernabeu is not heaven either. My suggestion refers to football in general, and if it works in my teams stadium too then all the better. It wasnt another comment destined to stir criticism from a Barca supporter. Dont be so high and mighty, because your supporters arent saints either.. Remember Luis Figo?