La Liga Loca

A sideways look at Spanish football


Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot

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The permanent peril of Spain’s second choice Sergios


Wednesday 28 January 2009 11:00

If you have a high tolerance for flamenco-based sonic torture and incomprehensible accents, then a spell in the city of Seville is the most fun you can have aside from a date with Deportivo.

Unless you happen to be managing the city’s two main football clubs, that is. Or José Antonio Reyes. But more on that woeful winger later.

Ever since Spain’s second choice Sergios, Paco Chaparro of Betis and Manolo Jiménez, were appointed to their prestigious posts last season, both have been as safe and secure as a lamp chop in Maniche’s larder.

Both trainers were in charge of the respective club’s B teams - although La Liga Loca suspects the cheap-as-chips Chaparro was actually found wandering around his local Poundland and given the job - and both replaced bigger name coaches that were either sacked or buggered off to Spurs.


Chaparro: Two defeats from the toaster

Both managers are also facing tense, testy weeks that could see a fistful of firings at the end of it - although this wouldn’t be the first time La Liga Loca has shot this particular bolt over the past 12 months.

According to Marca, a minion returned from the seventh circle of hell where, club godfather, Darth de Lopera likes to winter with a message that if Betis do not win Wednesday’s Copa Del Rey clash against Mallorca and the weekend’s tie with Getafe, then the 745-year-old Chaparro is toast. Potentially, in a literal sense.

Since starting to look half decent towards the end of last year, Betis have since lost four of their last five league games and are currently 1-0 down in the cup tie against their Balearic opposition.

However, this is not that surprising considering poor old Paco has been operating without any strikers for some time now, since the injury and subsequent exiling of Edu and the fact that Hugo ‘The Tank’ Pavone has done a decent impression of the hot water variety of his nickname in his season and a half in Andalusia.

There are rumours brewing that Zaragoza’s Ricardo Oliveira may be making a return to the club to give some zip to the strike force, but that seems highly unlikely considering he did not leave Seville in the best of terms. Like most Betis players, as a matter of fact.

Paco, himself, feels that there is no cavalry coming to bail him out, but has argued proudly that “the team is not as bad as people are saying.”


Bug-eyed master, Manolo Jiménez

Sevilla’s Manolo Jiménez is also facing the axe for the umpteenth time, after last Sunday’s rubbish home defeat to Racing, a first leg loss to Valencia in the Copa Del Rey and through repeatedly boring the buttocks off fans and TV viewers who are pretty much privy to every one of their god awful games.


Jiménez - whose main managerial tactic appears to be looking bug-eyed and angry - has the chance to postpone his execution by turning around a 3-2 deficit in the Sánchez-Pizjuán on Thursday night against a Valencia side looking for a morale-boosting win after flushing their last two league fixtures down the dunny.

And this Sevilla-based silliness brings us to a quick update on the wonderful world of José Antonio Reyes, last seen going on loan from Atlético Madrid to Benfica, currently being managed with some success by Quique Sánchez Flores.

But with little help from the former Arsenal winger, it would appear.


Reyes: Benfica's answer to the Karate Kid

“He has started a number of times and his performance level has been zero,” moaned the former Valencia coach.

At least he is showing signs of improvement.

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About Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot

When he isn't fighting the evil forces of flamenco or attracting libel actions for La Liga Loca, Tim Stannard is building his media empire in Madrid. As well as contributing to Football365 and doing odd jobs elsewhere, Tim also works in the glamorous world of television as a producer, script writer, news editor, coffee boy and stand-in fluffer.

Simon Talbot? Well, he's a man of mystery.

Comments

  January 28, 2009 12:57

rachelcl said:

Just goes to show that looking bug-eyed and angry isn't always the best managerial tactic.

  January 28, 2009 13:05

Jordi VW said:

I think Sevilla miss Dani Alves and Keita and Poulsen a lot. An English Friend of mine and i disagree which team is More like Manchester City. Atletico or Betis ? as both seem to turn something promising into a disaster. what do Tim and simon think ?

  January 28, 2009 17:26

PhilJones said:

Atletico are much more like Man City out of the two. But Man City and Tottenham are the team most aligned in the past few years. The ability to take a great squad and perform very poorly, usually through scoring 3 and letting in 4.

Man City will be there soon.

  January 28, 2009 20:26

Jordi VW said:

Thanks Phil. Betis need to sign about 8 of their old players before they are like Spurs ha ha

  January 29, 2009 09:59

Tim Stannard said:

Comparing teams in the two leagues has always been a fine pub game.

I'd always thought Spurs and Atletico were twins - you are never sure where their money comes from and always stuff things up royally from potentially good positions. But, to be fair to Atletico, they are in the Champions League and have won more.

The big question is who are Valencia and Villarreal?

  January 29, 2009 11:26

AdamCule said:

Valencia must be Arsenal - great 5 years ago but going nowhere fast now. There isn't an equivalent to Villarreal in the premier league because no team could break into the top four on such a limited budget  - Everton try hard but haven't even made the CL aside from being eliminated in the qualifiers by the very same Villarreal - VR made a semi final only 3 seasons ago and are in the knockout stages again this time round.