Saturday
Recreativo (16th) vs Sevilla (3rd)
La Liga Loca knows it. You know it. Heck, even master prediction-maker (still waiting for PedjaâÂÂs sacking, still waiting) Roberto Gómez knows it - Manolo Jiménez will be shot out of SevillaâÂÂs footballing toaster this summer and banished to the kitchen bin of doom.
Although the Andalusian club is sitting pretty in third, the fact Juande Ramosâ replacement has bored the pants off the Sánchez Pizjuán faithful over the past year-and-a-half with his defensive stylings means that JiménezâÂÂs goose is cooked.
However, the man himself is still talking a good - if slightly insane - game over his future. âÂÂI want to take Sevilla to the Champions League and win it,â claimed a potentially happy-pill-taking Jiménez over the international break.
LLL Prediction - Draw
Valladolid (9th) vs Barcelona (1st)
This week, BarcelonaâÂÂs title dreams were as dashed and pulverised as an unfortunate height-related accident that once befell one of La Liga LocaâÂÂs hamsters.
Rather than being this seasonâÂÂs silverware that has been lost, it was the title from 1937 that was blown. Back in the days of the Spanish Civil war, a mini-league was held in the then Republican Zone between eight teams including Barcelona, Espanyol, Valencia and Levante.
Barcelona won the truncated tournament, but it has never officially been recognised especially since the absent Madrid clubs were being shelled into oblivion by Franco at the time.
However, BarçaâÂÂs bid for their title to be recorded was rejected by the Spanish FA this week, who argue that it was not organised by themselves and therefore does not count.
Meanwhile, in not-really-that-shocking news, there is a strong possibility that the Valladolid clash will be blacked out to all and sundry due to a TV contract dispute.
LLL Prediction - Away win
AlmerÃÂa (13th) vs Villarreal (4th)
The main advertising aim of Lynx - the poor manâÂÂs Old Spice - is to convince its potential buyers that just a couple of squirts from the sickly smell-masker are required to make someone with a face like a yawning Gordon Brown irresistible to hot ladeez.
The Spanish version of the product, called Axe, has tested this marketing theory to breaking point by revealing one of the faces for the product in Spain.
Step up Villarreal super star Santi Cazorla, who resembles a chipmunk with a migraine.
LLL Prediction - Away win
Betis (17th) vs Numancia (19th)
Betis pretend president, Pepe Leon, decided to step out from behind Darth de LoperaâÂÂs skirt this week and face some questions put to him by fans on the tnâÂÂinternet site, âÂÂBetiswebâÂÂ.
And what a warm-hearted set of posers were put to poor Pepe, with questions such as âÂÂhow do you sleep at night being a puppet of De Lopera?â and âÂÂdo you know the meaning of the word dignity?âÂÂ
âÂÂI would be the first to report any irregularity because my honesty is at stake when I sign off the accounts,â blubbered Leon denying that the clubâÂÂs annual accounts are dodgier than an Andalusian car dealer.
âÂÂYouâÂÂre pathetic, we are tired of your constant c***â was the supportive response from one Betico on MarcaâÂÂs website.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Athletic (15th) vs Mallorca (12th)
One of the biggest disgraces of this season was MallorcaâÂÂs refusal / inability to cough up the money owed to Athletic for striker Aritz Aduriz, who moved to the Balearic club over the summer.
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