La Liga Loca

A sideways look at Spanish football


Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot

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Villa makes mistake of visiting Madrid


Wednesday 20 May 2009 10:00

“Valdano negotiates with Villa!” yells Marca. “Villa takes a walk to Madrid!” screams AS. “Over my dead body!” splutters Raúl.

Those were Wednesday’s headlines that greeted the appearance of David Villa in the streets of the Spanish capital the day before - an appearance that had him pestered and probed by stalking hacks and photographers.

The Valencia striker was seen with his wife (face blurred by AS, but not Marca) strolling hand-in-hand through the sunny streets!

The Valencia striker was seen near the Santiago Bernabeu!

The Valencia striker was in town to “buy a suit for my brother-in-law’s wedding,” explained the man himself.

‘Doesn’t matter!’ was the answer from the Madridista press desperately hoping that at least one of their Ribery, Ronaldo, Kaká, Silva, Zlatan, Villa, Wenger, Mourinho, Ancelotti stories comes true over the summer.


"I knew I should have just ordered online..."

If the photographers are out sleazing on the streets once again on Wednesday, they will be snapping a pitiful posse heading into a court room to answer accusations that they were involved with “the destruction, suppression and hiding of public documents” in relation to Real Madrid’s controversial AGM held last December.

The group will be headed by Ramón Calderón and - embarrassingly for Marca, who merely mumble his name in connection with the alleged crime - current Real Madrid president, Vicente Boluda.

This has meant the paper has had to tone down their “worst president in the club’s history" tantrum a tad, considering that Boluda, as Calderón’s No.2, may have had some influence during his tenure.

Marca have some exciting transfer news for Atlético fans, fans that will be hoping their potential new player is of the calibre of recent arrivals such as Seitaridis, Heitinga, Cleber Santana, Assunçao, Reyes, Pernia, Maniche and Luis García.

According to the paper, the club are sniffing around Udinese midfielder Gaetano D’Agostino, a footballer who “has had many appearances for the Italian U21 side.”

Very promising indeed, thought La Liga Loca until it saw that D’Agostino was 26, making him a sensational starlet some six years ago and Serie A’s equivalent of David Dunn.

Still, the Italian’s Wikipedia page reports that his favourite animals are horses, so he will at least be partly prepared to spend the next few seasons alongside a bunch of donkeys.

Over in Catalunya, the local Barca-barmy dailies are all in a tizz over next week’s Champions League 3-0 mauling by Manchester United, despite the fact that it is still seven days away.  

Sport’s headline fails to grasp the concept of superlatives by claiming that the Roma battle will be “the best against the best.”

While Mundo Deportivo have a devilish tale suggesting Gerard Pique will be the “anti-Cristiano” continuing the assumption in the Spanish press that Manchester United have a team consisting of just one player.


"Leave him with me, boss..."

At this point, the blog must end on a melancholy note with the news that Sevilla’s Javi Navarro has hung up his hairband and announced his retirement after a lengthy spell on the sidelines with a giant knee knack.

The central defender played a key role for Sevilla during their five trophy, two season spell and recalled at a press conference on Tuesday that his “best moment was seeing children and grandparents crying when we picked up our first trophy.”

In a fine career, Navarro has certainly left his mark on the city of Seville, the game in Spain and Juan Arango’s skull.

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About Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot

When he isn't fighting the evil forces of flamenco or attracting libel actions for La Liga Loca, Tim Stannard is building his media empire in Madrid. As well as contributing to Football365 and doing odd jobs elsewhere, Tim also works in the glamorous world of television as a producer, script writer, news editor, coffee boy and stand-in fluffer.

Simon Talbot? Well, he's a man of mystery.

Comments

  May 20, 2009 16:24

Blanco said:

"Still, the Italian’s Wikipedia page reports that his favourite animals are horses, so he will at least be partly prepared to spend the next few seasons alongside a bunch of donkeys."

OH SNAP! one of your finest zingers in recent times, excellent stuff.

  May 20, 2009 23:56

aaronwk said:

superlatives are hard.

  May 21, 2009 10:14

Vergilius said:

Great work on this one