The long list of most loathed in la Liga...
Monday 17 August 2009 12:00
The Madrid barrio of La Latina was full of 24 hour party people and peace this weekend.
Four days of boozy fiestas to celebrate... well, nothing much really... saw thousands and thousands of young dudes descending on a plethora of street-side bars to boogie and barf.
The most amazing aspect of an enchanted weekend of chundering was - to channel The Wire, at this point - the complete lack of po’lice anywhere.
Instead the fiesta was a hippy-filled love-fest.
And this is why, at the start of a new week, La Liga Loca feels the need to purge itself of these unfamiliar and unwelcome feelings of fraternity by spreading the bile and bitterness.
Over the past few days, the blog has been asking lovers of la Liga for the names of those in the game in Spain who get their goat, sour their sangria and drive them to watching Deportivo.
The one rule stipulated by La Liga Loca in any selection in its summer of hate was down to FourFourTwo being a family-friendly, God-fearing, naughty-word dodging institution.
The rule was that Guti was exempt from any nominations.
And it’s a good thing too, as that was the player whose name came up first with literally everyone and would have required the most ******ing over the text.
However, the cleaner highlights of the many rants against the Real Madrid midfielder included his various haircuts and ‘the way he walks.’
The most loathed list of la Liga kicks off with one nomination of the entire football club of Betis, “from their dodgy owner, half-wit fans and cheating players.”
Fortunately for that nominator, Betis will be stuck in la Segunda next season, having failed in their charming legal attempts to get Xerez relegated after accusations surfaced of financial irregularities at the club back in 2002.
Betis are just as rubbish at the law as they are at football, it would appear.
Blog favourite and current Athletic Bilbao coach, Joaquín Caparrós is a gentleman who is controversially on one particular hit list for apparently turning every team he has ever managed into sides “that are dirty and only kick players and never the ball.”
And, to be fair, there was some evidence of this in Sunday night’s Super Cup tie against Barcelona, a typically bruising approach to the game by the men from Basque country.
Sevilla ‘keeper, Andres Palop is also named for being the most unsportsmanlike goalie in the game from an Atlético Madrid fan, due to his love of winding up opposition fans. “Like a South American,” was the unimpressed verdict.
Valencia centre-back, Carlos Marchena appears to be unloved by pretty much everyone due to his love of smashing his knees into opposition players’ backs at set-pieces.
Although one pundit suggests that “he pretends to be a hardman but cries like a baby when anyone goes near him.”
Another defender, Real Madrid’s Marcelo, apparently “needs a damn good stomping from a mid-table hoofer,” to take the smug-*rse grin of his face.
While Dani Alves gets it in the neck because “he's a brilliant player but there’s just something about him that really annoys me.”
Poor, hopeless, mullet-abuser Javier Portillo of Osasuna - 38 appearances, 3 goals last season - is on the list as a striker who is utterly useless, but still gets a gig.
Meanwhile, Atlético Madrid defender Luis Perea is nominated for being “gifted without the ball, but the worst footballer with it.”
The Colombian is joined by former Atleti team-mate Luis García, due to his “wet fish” nature and “allergy to running.”
The blog fully backs the selection of Zaragoza’s Peter Luccin for being as “lazy as f**k,” and his tendency for playing for teams that get relegated.
La Liga Loca is sure that this is just a small percentage of the loathed and reviled in the game in Spain.
For this reason, it invites the good, good readers of the blog to send in their nominations and the reasons for their inclusion.
Two rules - the more irrational the better and mind your language.
NOTE: Due to a current comments restriction of 20, continue adding the players you love to hate at the end of Tuesday's La Liga Loca entry.
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About Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot
When he isn't fighting the evil forces of flamenco or attracting libel actions for La Liga Loca,
Tim Stannard is building his media empire in Madrid. As well as contributing to Football365 and doing odd jobs elsewhere, Tim also works in the glamorous world of television as a producer, script writer, news editor, coffee boy and stand-in fluffer.
Simon Talbot? Well, he's a man of mystery.