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La Liga Loca

A sideways look at Spanish football


Tim Stannard

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Barça to make Villa offer he can’t refuse


Tuesday 02 March 2010 10:30

If the Barcelona press are trying to fend off the lustful advances of Chelsea, Manchester United and Real Madrid towards David Villa and lure the Asturian to the Camp Nou couch with a playful pout, then they are going about it in a most peculiar manner.

The front cover of Tuesday’s Sport reports that Barça are going to make another move for the Valencia forward over the summer, in the kind of ‘story’ that becomes ever so popular in the Spanish press during international weeks.

However, despite the fact that the striker could name his price at any club anywhere in the world, the paper are noodling that Barça see one of the best finishers in the world playing on the left wing before becoming the long-term replacement for Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

It’s an interesting notion considering that the Swede is just three months older than Villa.

Josep María Casanovas writes that Villa will take the place of Thierry Henry (and Pedro, presumably) as “reports indicate that he is a striker who can cover Henry’s departure and play both on the wing and has a goalscoring record that few footballers in the world can offer.”

Mundo Deportivo are considerably more sensible and reckon that Frank Ribery is Barcelona’s best bet over the summer but have allowed their art department to go a little nuts in the process by sticking the Frenchman’s head in a particularly gormless pose on the front cover with a luminous green background.

The other big news in Barcelona is the launch of Joan Laporta’s political campaign and his fancy new website.

The Barcelona president is trying to get himself elected as a member of the local parliament later this year and is using fancy new tools such as Facebook and Twitter to help him keep it real and street. Word.

“Censors and the media cavern will not be able to twist or dilute our opinions or shared objectives,” burbles the conspiracy-crazy Catalan who has the message that the “time has come to make some brave decisions” below his cheesy-grinned visage.

One of those brave decisions - La Liga Loca is expecting the current politician’s favourite phrase 'tough choices' any day now - is to only have his website in Catalan.

The director of local proper paper La Vanguardia, Lluís Foix, is less than impressed with Laporta’s launch and compares the Barcelona president to Pep Guardiola. “Guardiola works for Barcelona but Laporta has Barcelona working for him,” grumbles Foiz in an article in Mundo Deportivo.


"You work for me. I work for me. We all work for me."

Over in Capital City, Tuesday brings good news for Gonzalo Higuaín, who has finally learned what it will take for him to be both appreciated and respected by Marca.

The bad news that it's quite a tall order, even for Madrid’s top scorer and firm fan’s favourite.

“El Pipita will become a great when he scores a decisive goal in the Champions League final, in el clasico or in the final in Johannesburg on the 11th July,” strops the paper’s director, Eduardo Inda, who probably wanted to add “AND STOPS SCORING MORE GOALS THAN CRISTIANO RONALDO!”

This week’s useless refereeing organisational disaster story comes from Sunday Atlético Madrid v Valencia clash.

There was more than a whiff of controversy when Pérez Burrull awarded a penalty to the home side after consulting with his fourth official who saw - along with the whole stadium - a handball from Carlos Marchena.

Ever the investigative journalist, La Liga Loca probed a proper referee, who said that this kind of business is frowned by upon by his clan but allowed in the rule book.

Nevertheless, it has not stopped Burrull being suspended for next week’s round of action, the second time in a year he has received such a sanction.

The first was after the official’s failure to award two penalties to Osasuna in a clash at the Bernabeu. The referee then proceeded to send off Juanfran for both being hacked down in the box and then complaining about it.

But it seems that Burrull’s job was made that little bit harder on Sunday night, as the headset communication system between the four officials during the game wasn’t working, which is why he had to speak directly to his colleague for advice - advice he also received from the livid Atlético Madrid players, which looks like being the real reason for Burrull being sent to ‘the freezer’.

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About Tim Stannard

La Liga Loca is the playground for the evil, more childish half of Tim Stannard’s psyche to be let loose. The other 50% is a contributor to FourFourTwo magazine, Football365, Sabotage Times as well as other publications such as UEFA Champions Magazine and When Saturday Comes. He is also a regular guest on Real Madrid TV’s Extra Time show and works as a TV producer extraordinaire for hire. To contact Tim directly email laligaloca@yahoo.co.uk

Comments

  March 2, 2010 12:02

wastlord said:

Long may 'El Pipita' keep outscoring that [insert list of derisory adjectives here] Ronaldo.

Well not that long,to the end of the season would do, as i would like him to leave and join a club where he is appreciated.

perez and ronaldo are made for each other as they both lack any semblance of class.

  March 2, 2010 13:28

gt607 said:

Please, please, please tell me I'm not the only one who had to try very hard to suppress a laugh upon seeing Laporta's website.

  March 2, 2010 14:02

Paul said:

GT607-no,you aren't

  March 2, 2010 20:13

Ivan said:

What the hells wrong with Laporta? What`s he done that he deserves your ridicule? He appoints Rijkaard with gargantuan success,he erases nearly all the clubs debt,Barca achieve immortality with last season after Laporta picks Pep as his choice...astonishing! And you laugh at him on his website? Listen, the only stain on this guy is that he wanted to sign Donkey David Beckham ahead of Ronaldinho...now THAT`s hilarious!

  March 3, 2010 02:56

gt607 said:

Ivan: it's not about his work as Barca president. I don't think anyone can argue with that. Neither is it Laporta's independentist sentiments - for all the practical problems it brings, I do believe in self-determination in principle. But let's not go there.

While I have a general picture of Spain's political situation, I don't know what the politics is like day-to-day. So you'll have to tell me if it's quite normal for someone without what I'd consider a good political record to start a campaign saying "I will continue to dedicate the best years of my life to the country I love. The time has come to serve Catalunya together." Look, we all know - and I accept - that the position of Barcelona president is inherently politically charged. But not two months ago, Laporta said - and I quote his Catalan, "Estic capacitat per governar, m’ho he demostrat al Barça. Evidentment no es pot extrapolar del tot a la política, però hi ha una sèrie de principis bàsics que sí." - "I have the capacity to govern, I have demonstrated this with Barça. Of course it is not possible to scale it entirely to politics, but there are a number of basic principles". (I don't speak Catalan, but I think I've got a pretty good idea of what he said.)

That is a more favourable quote than you'll find in many news articles, which leave out the second part. I am unsure of exactly how running a football club, even one as big as Barcelona, demonstrates a capability to govern a country, and that's putting it mildly.

And that's what I'm talking about. Let's not even go into the whole is-he-using-Barcelona-for-his-own-purposes and is-he-falling-in-love-with-power thing, but I can't take a politician who thinks running Barcelona qualifies him to run a country seriously. So when I saw his website with that quote and, as Tim said, "the time has come to make brave decisions" under that, it was very hard not to laugh and wonder if he means it. But of course he does, which just makes it funnier. It's like pointing to his appointments of Rijkaard and Guardiola and calling himself an expert in brave decisions on account of that.

There, a few too many bytes on an issue I shouldn't have even opened my big mouth for. I'm not even Spanish or Catalan.

/end speech

  March 3, 2010 06:52

chza said:

pepita is gonna have to buy himself a big truck to carry all the money he'll back out of man city with (maybe no silver, but they'll be closer to it with him on board that's for sure) and with him gone we'll all see how over-inflated the whiteys are!

  March 3, 2010 12:10

JohnPJones said:

Laporta, ein...?

Cometh the hour cometh the Man. I think if you want to do justice to this fellow you need to separate his track record on two counts;

1. Football management,

2. Personal and political life.

The first is actually a very good record. Regardless of how much people in the upper part of Barcelona want to see the end of him, he is through true merit the best president the club has ever had. His guts and defence of a project started in 2003, when we were going through a terrible period, (summer 2008) speak volumes.

The results later, and appointment of Guardiola are his success, (possibly a fluke, but nonetheless, it took courage to go down that road).

His personal life and political ideas are a mess. Yes, there's the sovereignty issue, and I think I'm not surprising anyone if I think that the whole business is poppycock. However, Laporta as a person and probably as a politician, exhibits a lot of those factors that we use to term a 'Chulo Español' in Barcelona. (An arrogant Spanish Show-off).

The list of faux pas he has made is as ghastly as it is long, the amount of rubbish he has shovelled in every direction quite considerable. I think the man is somewhat unhinged and has serious issues, possibly a tad narcissism with some insecurity.

Therefore, he should fit in just fine with the corrupt bunch of crooks and liars that form the Spanish political landscape.

In summary, (like they said about Cromwell) a very great bad man... ( incidentally I would vote for Laporta again were he allowed to stand for president of FC. Barcelona).

  March 3, 2010 21:33

Paul said:

Ivan. You want a list

I'll start with the agreed transfer of Saviola to Espanyol and finish with his penchant for fondling young girls in nightclubs. There isn't enough space to even scratch the surface as to why this guy is ,as Lord Charles used to say ,A Silly *rse.

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