La Liga Loca’s Good Day, Bad Day - Round 33
Monday 19 April 2010 12:55
Good Day
La Liga
Whether it’s down to the relentless rain in Madrid clearing away the weekend barf-patches from the barrio, or the thought that an Icelandic volcano might spare LLL from having to sit through 90 minutes of Liverpool’s ‘special’ football stylings at a damp Vicente Calderón on Thursday, but the blog woke up in the chippiest of moods, this morning.
So it is delighted to report that a manic midweek round of matches, combined with the weekend’s results has suddenly booted a bit of life into a Primera campaign that had been passed out the pavement.
The title-race is suddenly fun again, there are four teams battling for the final Champions League spot and the survival battle has now extended its embrace to bring seven teams into its bulging bosom of doom.
Happy days, indeed.
Manuel Pellegrini
Reading Sunday’s editorial in Marca ahead of the Valencia clash, LLL had the distinct impression that the paper was actively willing Madrid to miss the opportunity handed them by Espanyol to close the gap on Barcelona to one point and roger things up royally against the men from Mestalla.
After all, if Manuel Pellegrini were to actually win the league title in his first season, it would jam a big old spanner into the works of the ongoing Florentino Pérez-inspired campaign to boot the Chilean coach from the Bernabeu.
Even by Madrid’s wacky standards, it would look more than a little ludicrous for the club to ditch a Primera-winning manager for the fourth time in a row.
So, all this back story sits behind the paper’s vile, mean-spirited headline on Sunday that “it would be unforgivable if Pellegrini were to throw away Espanyol’s gift” and the attack on the Madrid manager for an apparently off-the-cuff comment that he didn’t know if he would watch the Catalan derby on Saturday night.
“How bad for a Primera manager not to see such an important clash,” sneered Marca.
Insult was piled on top of injury on Sunday’s back page with the paper’s Real Madrid editor, Miguel Serrano, responding to the reality that neither Wenger, Benítez, nor Mourinho will realistically be coming to the Bernabeu in the summer, by drumming up support for the appointment of former player and current Getafe boss, Míchel - an idea that should strike a ice-cream tub of fear into Madridista hearts.
“Míchel was born to manage Real Madrid,” blurbs Serrano, dictating the fax that came straight from Florentino’s office, perhaps.
In response to the subsequent victory for Madrid, Monday’s editorial praises Real Madrid’s robustness against Valencia but throws few crumbs of comfort in Pellegrini’s direction.
Instead it is Cristiano Ronaldo (of course) that is praised to the gods in the paper’s Top Ten of the weekend with his “voracity” and “never giving up a ball for lost.”
Espanyol
Running, working and sweating buckets in a manner rarely seen away from the Cornella El-Prat, this season, saw happy days indeed for Espanyol against Barcelona, on Saturday night.
And a stomping, woolly mammoth of an update from Paul from Barcelona, with the chunky highlights here...
“Espanyol will see this as two points dropped and Barça as a valuable point won, as it could have easily been none.
Talking Points
1) Dani Alves: there was a small minority (200 out of 39,000) making monkey noises and this is shameful and hopefully action will be taken against any moron caught doing this.
2) Guardiola / Valdes: that's how you do a press conference, Xavi. Show a bit of class and admit that you were lucky to escape with a point.
3) Men of the match: Any one of Espanyol's back line and Forlin was excellent too. For Barça, Pique, by a country mile. Best defender I've seen this year, pity he's such a (rude word alert!- LLL).
4) Supporters: Fantastic hostile atmosphere created by the Pericos while the 350/400 Barça fans sat in silence (maybe they thought it was a home game?) and no scarves, banners or anything. Might as well have stayed at home.
5) The ref - all he did was favour neither side and that's all we ask for.”
Paul, Barcelona
Juan Cala
Reduced to whacking in high balls to get their kicks these days, Sevilla put in a workmanlike performance in the 3-0 win over Sporting, but in the Spanish sense of the word: barely effective in short bursts and limply half-hearted for the rest.
The only shiny, proud follicle in Sevilla’s bold spot of despair was another goal for young cantera full back, Juan Cala, who has now scored in his three last games for the club.
Víctor Valdés & Diego López
Bickering over who should be Spain’s third choice goalkeeper is a bit of a pee-take to an Englishblog’s ears, considering Fabio Capello’s choice for the actual number one spot is between a 50-year-old whose nickname is ‘Calamity’ and an accident prone, soon-to-be-relegated bumpkin who used to play for Norwich.
But that’s been one of the background hums in Spain, this week, with the louder murmuring supporting the case to take Valdés to South Africa.
And rightly so, as the Barça stopper was solid, once again, against Espanyol and may well have won a point for his team with a cracking stop against Osvaldo in the Catalan derby.
However, the Villarreal keeper showed that it would be a tad unfair to discard him from the Spanish ranks at such a late stage with a fine performance against the Atlético attack - and the last two words were written without the slightest hint of a giggle.
Juan Carlos Garrido
With the appearance of a hard-bitten, hard-drinking and hard-swearing New York homicide detective, Garrido took over from the discarded Ernesto Valverde in January and has done a splendid job in dragging Villarreal into Champions League contention.
Villarreal’s 2-1 win over Atlético, the side’s fourth from five, also inspired the week’s most inane question award with one bright spark asking Garrido if the victory - which moved Villarreal into sixth - meant that “Europe was possible?”
Tenerife
Whenever giant paellas are wheeled into the field of battle in Spanish football, you can tell that a football club in la Liga is in deep, deep trouble. Or Maniche is in town.
On Sunday, it was Tenerife’s precarious situation in the relegation zone that inspired the creation of an enormous rice dish to bring forth a victory over visiting Getafe to leave Tenerife with back-to-back wins in the league and just one point from safety.
A hat-trick from the previously goal-shy Nino may have had something to do with the win too, to be fair.
Bad Day
Barcelona
The blog actually thinks a point in such a testy, tripwire-laden encounter is a fairly good one, but with La Liga Loca surrounded by the hysteria of the Madridista press, it might as well join in on the ‘all is doomed, doomed!’ fun after the goalless draw in Cornella. Just so as not to feel left out.
“It was not a great game from Barcelona, but you can’t really blame them for anything,” wrote Josep María Casanovas in neat summary of the vibe from the Catalan clash.
Joan Laporta & Daniel Sánchez-Llibre
“Infantile” was the insult thrown by the Barcelona president at his Espanyol counterpart in the quarrelling pair’s ongoing feud.
“Cucumber!” was the probably mistranslated response from the Perico president.
“Grow up or get a room” is La Liga Loca’s riposte to the duelling duo, with the latter leaving the most unsavoury of images in mind.
Cristiano Ronaldo
The PPM - pouts per minute - monitor hit an unprecented 20 during the Valencia clash, with Cristiano inspiring Roberto Palomar to write in Marca’s Monday edition that “the Real Madrid match delegate has to think seriously about the possibility of offering two balls to the referee: one for the game, and the other for Ronaldo.”
Quique Sánchez-Flores
Although Quique repeated his ‘mea culpa’ performance of the midweek defeat to Xerez after Saturday’s Villarreal loss, the Atleti boss could not hide his disdain for centre-back, Alvaro Domínguez, after he lost his man for Godín’s goal and was promptly substituted after 26 minutes.
“It pains me to see us returning to the same mistakes of five months ago,” complained the Rojiblanco ruler on the defender who very nearly blubbed like a baby whilst peering out from the Atlético bench.
On a side note, the Atlético Madrid manager now appears to be a shade of atomic orange, as if he has spent the week sleeping inside the Large Hadron Super-Collider.
Simao
An enormous waste of money. Nearly three seasons at the Vicente Calderón and naff-all to show for it.
“We are going to win the five games left,” claimed the Portuguese winger saying that his team-mates would be working their Rojiblanco socks off to undo the damage of three league defeats in a row. “Poppycock” suggest LLL.
Alvaro Negredo
The sneaky little so-and-so faked being slammed in the face by a push-off from Sporting’s José Angel to inspire a second-yellow for the full back and a sending off.
The sight of the sly Sevilla striker, dabbing away at his mouth whilst the rest of the Sporting team accused Negredo of being a cheat was a sorry one, indeed.
Sporting
Three defeats in a row sees Sporting just four points from the relegation zone, a part of the table Manuel Preciado’s men have no business being in after what had previously been a fine campaign.
Málaga, Valladolid
LLL can only imagine the commentator for TV channel, La Sexta, tasked with narrating the highlights of the Málaga v Valladolid goalless draw was having his shaven gonads zapped with bolts of electricity whenever the ratings slipped during the broadcast.
“Don’t go away, it’s such a wonderful spectacle!” yelled the commentator in desperation with the first-half summary of balls being whacked over the bar all but over. “It’s a match of drama! Of fear!”
No...it was an unending stream of footballing puke....
Deportivo & Almería
....And not unlike the goalless encounter between these two sides, the highlight of which was Depor’s Juan Rodríguez charging up field, attempting a shimmy and falling flat on his useless posterior.
Athletic & Zaragoza
The blog scarred its retinas with half-an-hour of this drivel before heading up to the Bernabeu. Yet another goalless scoreline makes LLL assume that even less happened than during the wholly uneventful thirty minutes it sat through, before.
David Villa
Although it has, of course, no bearing on the Valencia striker’s overall quality, David Villa has been utter rubbish on every single occasion that LLL has seen the striker playing in person for his club.
Sunday’s useless, half-arsed display against Real Madrid was no different.
You can catch LLL in pundit mode on RMTV’s(Sky Dig 446) review show ‘Extra Time’, on Monday at 22.05 CET and repeated throughout the week.
Tags: Barcelona, Tenerife, Malaga, Deportivo, Espanyol, Manuel Pellegrini, Valladolid, Cristiano Ronaldo, David Villa, Quique Sánchez-Flores, Sporting, Juan Carlos Garrido, Victor Valdes, La Liga, Diego Lopez, Juan Cala, Joan Laporta, Simao, Zaragoza, Alvaro Negredo
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About Tim Stannard
La Liga Loca is the playground for the evil, more childish half of Tim Stannard’s psyche to be let loose. The other 50% is a contributor to FourFourTwo magazine, Football365, Sabotage Times as well as other publications such as UEFA Champions Magazine and When Saturday Comes. He is also a regular guest on Real Madrid TV’s Extra Time show and works as a TV producer extraordinaire for hire. To contact Tim directly email laligaloca@yahoo.co.uk