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La Liga Loca

A sideways look at Spanish football


Tim Stannard

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No satisfaction for Barca as 'unscrupulous' Jose wins tactical duel


Thursday 29 April 2010 15:01

For once La Liga Loca is in full agreement with both Madridista papers - José Mourinho must come to the Santiago Bernabeu.

But rather than waiting until the start of the summer, the blog is insisting that the Inter coach be bundled into the back of a van, driven to a large stack of cash and told to get to work, straight away.

Of course, the Inter boss would be gone by the first week of May having played Cristiano Ronaldo as a full-back, impaled Guti’s head on the training ground gates, ripped out Jorge Valdano’s tongue and hacked down Florentino Pérez’s door with an axe.

But what fun, what sport, what chaos the Portuguese provocateur would bring in that all too short spell!

It’s fair to say that Mourinho is the Dalek to Barca’s Doctor Who, the Darth Vader to their Catalan Force, the Kurgan to Connor MacLeod of the Camp Nou.


"Hey Luis, when do they start throwing the pig heads?"

Due to taunts about theatrics whilst at Chelsea and Inter Milan inferences that Barcelona are very bad losers but very good cheats - a malfunctioning sprinkler system and Sergio Busquets certainly helps his case - Mourinho was already loathed and despised in the Catalan capital.

That hatred has gone up another notch, if that is at all possible, after a wonderfully mischievous display from the troublemaker on the touchline and 94 minutes of what the Spanish snootily call ‘anti-football’ on the pitch.

Before Wednesday night’s grudge match kicked off, Barcelona were demanding satisfaction in a pistols-drawn footballing duel at dawn, where the most honourable gentleman would win. Mourinho answered their request by sending a Tomahawk missile, instead.

NEWS: Ten-man Inter reach Madrid final

Barça won the encounter in statistics, with 75% of possession and 60 crosses made, but only managed four shots on target - with one of those being Gerard Pique’s offside effort, cancelling out Diego Milito’s illegal goal from the first tie, something the Catalan press are largely keen to overlook.

The reluctant Catalan conclusion that the rightful winners over the two legs were Inter has left the Barcelona press somewhat stuck for excuses for the defeat and having to take out their frustrations on Mourinho himself and his dastardly ways for ruining their Bernabeu dreams.

“[Inter] didn’t come to play football, they came to destroy,” grumbled Josep Maria Casanovas in Sport. “Mourinho is the cornerstone of anti-football, a born provocateur and unscrupulous,” continued the Catalan columnist in a rant that may be approaching admiration.


Jose's Mick Channon celebration went down a storm...

“With another referee in Milan, Barça would now have been through,” is the final riposte from Casanovas, presumably made with his arms-folded and bottom-lip sticking out.

“How would you define the behaviour of Mourinho?” asks Mundo Deportivo in one of their many, many polls having been set up to act as on-line therapy for the paper’s suffering readership.

This particular survey appears to have been taken over by Madrid and Espanyol fans indulging in a spot of Schadenfreude, considering 51% describe ol’ Mou’s conduct as ‘excellent’, with just 30% finding the humble and reserved Inter coach to have been in any way provocative.

Over in Capital City, AS note in their match report that “Inter will be in the final, but they did it without attacking, without a single offensive idea”, somewhat overlooking the three goals they scored in the first leg.

GALLERY: Barca 1-0 Inter

Meanwhile, editor Alfredo Relaño concedes that Mourinho must be an attractive prospect for Madrid, not least for his leadership qualities.

Marca have been waving the flag for José for some time, and their man love has predictably grown ever more strong now that the Madridista fraternity will be spared the sight of Barça fans celebrating at Real’s traditional party seat at Cibeles.

“The author of that work of art (in Barcelona) left a signature, one José Mourinho. A genius” claimed Thursday’s editorial on a display that will leave Florentino Pérez dreading a Madrid-less Bernabeu-based Champions League final a little bit less than he would have been ten days previously.

NEWS: Jose - Sweetest defeat of my life
NEWS: Apprentice Jose to face mentor Van Gaal
NEWS: Inter return to airport madness
FEATURE: A special night for every Interista
VIDEO: Watch Mourinho's full-time celebrations

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About Tim Stannard

La Liga Loca is the playground for the evil, more childish half of Tim Stannard’s psyche to be let loose. The other 50% is a contributor to FourFourTwo magazine, Football365, Sabotage Times as well as other publications such as UEFA Champions Magazine and When Saturday Comes. He is also a regular guest on Real Madrid TV’s Extra Time show and works as a TV producer extraordinaire for hire. To contact Tim directly email laligaloca@yahoo.co.uk

Comments

  April 29, 2010 21:36

Kirkabir said:

I'm still standing by it ! Inter are a team of mercenaries and Mou  is thier thug leader. You'll have to search far and wide to find a more charmless, thuggish and boring team and organization. And Paul why don't you mention Messi, Xavi, Inesta and Co. How many Valdezes, Pedros, Bojans, Sergios have Inter produced and introduced to the world ? Can you mention one player from the Inter academy ? Even the other less giftet team in Barcelona has produced a few of thier own... Mercenary teams like Inter, Chelsea whom have picked thier players and created thier team on blood money and maffia methods do not deserve any glory or applause...  

  April 29, 2010 23:17

Paul said:

Didn't Barça spend about 92 million quid on a useless centre forward and a right-back who isn't that good at defending and a French handball player ?

Which by my calculations is more than the cost of Inter's team.

Isn't Messi Argentine or am i thinking of someone else ?

Good to see Barça fans taking this exit on the chin and acting with dignity. Well done them.

Also anyone remember Barça's celebration against Chelsea last year ? Don't remember Petr Cech attacking Pep or Ray Wilkins turning the Hose on Inesta.

Well done to Pep and Pique for a bit of style by praising Inter's defensive performance.

Hats off also to Sport for Giving Cambiasso 4 out of Ten but Bojan 5.

Nice to see Luis Figo looking well too.

Tim. when are the LLL sarcasm awards ?

Also hands up.I voted on MD's website.

  April 29, 2010 23:34

JohnPJones said:

Kirk Mate, just leave it out...

We are regarded as sore enough losers. That episode with the sprinklers is the sort of carry on I'd expect from Chavs, not one of the top ten clubs in the world.

  April 30, 2010 00:04

Paul said:

Well said,JPJ. Hope you had a better result with your meeting.

  April 30, 2010 10:16

kevking said:

'the Darth Vader to their Catalan Force' - Vader uses the force too, just for bad ends, so better to say the Darth Vader to their Catalan Jedi.

  April 30, 2010 11:36

JohnPJones said:

The meeting went well enough, not as good as initially expected but there's room for growth. Which is more than I can say about the economy.

Is it just me or are the best Spain team ever going to reach South Africa with a dozen odd crocks?

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