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La Liga Loca

A sideways look at Spanish football


Tim Stannard

See all posts

Madridistas brand Barça bad winners as Catalonia celebrates bathtime


Tuesday 30 November 2010 13:18

It’s always a fine sign that a thorough spanking combined with a bespoke *rse-handing-on-a-plate has been dished out when the big fat losers start moaning and groaning that the opposition are bad winners.

That’s the approach a shell-shocked Marca has adopted, on Tuesday, with the paper having no doubt attempted but failed to blame their usual scapegoats, Manuel Pellegrini and Gonzalo Higuaín, for the night before.

The whopping problem the paper faces in reacting to the monumental stonking is that its apron-strings are tied so tightly to their Castle Greyskull controllers that awkward questions such has whence The Special One? Whither Karim Benzema? and why Cristiano Ronaldo? have been cast aside with Tuesday’s teary editorial spluttering that ‘CR7’ should have been given a penalty at 2-0, Barça’s third goal was offside and Pep Guardiola was mean for failing to give the ball back to Ronaldo at one point in the first half - a game changing moment, perhaps...

“The gentlemanly conduct of Sandro Rosell did not translate to the pitch with the same behaviour,” scoffed the paper, somewhat overlooking the tenth La Liga red card of Sergio Ramos’ career, doled out for hacking Leo Messi from behind and then pushing his Spain teammates, Carles Puyol and Xavi full in the face. The little tyke.

However, there is still room for some dissent in the inside pages - pages that have clearly gone unchecked by Marca’s masters - with Roberto Gómez branding the five-goal-shaped can of whoop-ass as “a disgrace, a joke of unfathomable dimensions,” adding “it was children against men."

AS editor, Alfredo Relaño, has positioned his paper in the Florentino Pérez doubters camp, this season - in comparison with the pom-pom waving Marca - and is enjoying the moral high ground on Tuesday with an article attacking Madrid for possessing “neither spirit nor courage” during the Camp Nou calamity.


“The indolence of Benzema has returned,” thundered Relaño, whilst his colleague, Juanma Trueba noted quite accurately that, “the Barça of Guardiola is still quite far away.”

Mad Tomás Roncero will not stand for such defeatist nonsense and follows Marca’s approach by attacking Puyol and Piqué for making a hand gesture displaying all five fingers, signifying the five goals - because of course no dignified, honourable, gentlemanly Real Madrid player would ever celebrate a humiliating beating handed out to their fiercest rivals in front of their own fans.

Or pass to a team-mate using their back when 2-0 up, for example. Ronaldo would never do that against Atlético Madrid. Never. Not even a couple of weeks ago. No.

“The season is long and in April there’ll be a Clásico in the Bernabeu and you know what it is going to be like then,” warned Roncero, although LLL suspects the AS man isn’t referring to Barcelona winning in Madrid. Again. “Pep, you have to know how to lose...and know how to win,” snorted Roncero.

Over in the Catalan capital and it is c**k-a-hoop o'clock with Sport boasting of Barça’s ‘Big Hand’ goalfest - as well as putting a picture of an actual big hand on the front cover in case some of their slower readers have problems comprehending the concept.

A Thrashing! A Humiliation! Leaders!” thunders the front cover with the kind of bragging that Marca whole-heartedly disapproves of and would never engage in had the boot been on the other foot.

“Barça played one of their best matches in history, as if they were from another galaxy,” purred Santi Nolla. “Cristiano is still without a goal against Barça and Mourinho had the biggest defeat of his life as a coach.”

Mundo Deportivo splash the fact that Madrid were given a “bath” - but with the loofah placed forcefully in a slightly unconventional spot, perhaps. “A magical night, unforgettable, superior, definitive,” burbled Lluís Foix, at a paper where the happy-clappy journalists are set for a late start on Tuesday morning...before firing taunts towards the Spanish capital all over again.



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About Tim Stannard

La Liga Loca is the playground for the evil, more childish half of Tim Stannard’s psyche to be let loose. The other 50% is a contributor to FourFourTwo magazine, Football365, Sabotage Times as well as other publications such as UEFA Champions Magazine and When Saturday Comes. He is also a regular guest on Real Madrid TV’s Extra Time show and works as a TV producer extraordinaire for hire. To contact Tim directly email laligaloca@yahoo.co.uk

Comments

  November 30, 2010 14:32

Codorniu said:

It's funny no-one talks about what 'actually' happened.

Mourinho got his tactics wrong. Real defended so high up the pitch, but didn't put pressure on Barca when they had the ball, so that through balls could be played at will. All 4 goals came from balls played behind the defence.

If real defended closer to the goal, this space wouldn't be there. The subbing of Ozil baffled me. He did alright when he had the ball and didn't gave it away at every opportunity (Unlike Benzema).

I can only hypothesize that Real thought they could actually play with Barca instead of defend against them  and hit them on the break (as they should have, look at Barca v Inter).

  November 30, 2010 14:38

philliptasker said:

Hi Tim,

Nice insight on what the papers are saying, typical reaction from most!

One thing I think is missing though, what did you make of the game overall and what it means for the season?

  November 30, 2010 15:51

don_cule said:

Bit of luck well taken by Xavi.

Villa is just a superb striker who plays well for any team who sign him. He is one of the best ( but of course it wasn't so long ago he was rumoured to be signing for the opposition).

Pedro now has two great goals against Madrid...he is really developing in that team.

Good to see Jeffren get a goal...let's hope there are more to come.

Shame about the ill-tempered element, but derbies will be derbies I suppose.

All FCB need to do now is avoid any daft defeats against Depor or Racing or even Atletico to make sure they keep ahead.

I don't think Mourinho is correct about it simply being a team 'playing to their potential,' he just couldn't get the superstars motivated enough to care about the game. But I expect the Bernabeu fixture to be more difficult. But a 5-0 head-to-head aggregate is a very strong position to hold.

  November 30, 2010 15:58

Vergilius said:

Not necessarily a bad idea to push high up the field against a team such as Barca - it limits the space available for them to play tikka-takka or whatever it is called, but the flip side is you can be too open to counter attacks. Madrid perhaps tried too hard to play their own game yesterday and weren't disciplined enough to keep the pressure on Barca after making mistakes to go two goals down. It is far too easy to blame the tactics of the coach and far too often done by people who don't know much about the subject to begin with,

  November 30, 2010 18:12

Codorniu said:

'...often done by people who don't know much about the subject to begin with.'

Nice ad hom. without refuting anything I said and agreeing with half the things I said. But this is often done by people who have a comprehensive reading problem...

  November 30, 2010 18:19

Gorgon Banks said:

Just a couple of points:  first, Codorniu, Barca dropped "5" on a hapless Real, not 4 - throw one hand in the air if you's a true playa!!!!!

Secondly Codorniu, I believe that subbing Ozil was actually one of Jose's better moves on the dreadful night for the Madridistas.  Lassana Diara was far more positive - and I think he should have gotten the start.  Mezut was totally ineffectual.  I think I can count on one hand (yes, pun intended)the number of touches he had.  As an attacking midfielder (playing right behind the striker), he's supposed to be the focal point of a Real attack.  There was no direct foray on Barca's goal to speak of - Ozil must take the blame.  He's a quality player, but out of his element on the night.  He showed no determination nor fortitude, nor did he make any attempt to wrest initiative from Barca in the mid-field.  Easier said than done though against the likes of Iniesta and Xavi.  I don't think Ozil comprehended the difficulty of the derby until the final whistle blew - Welcome to the Clasico Mezut!

In other news - Karim Benzema who?!?  FAIL... I think, the game settled it for Jose - there's only 1 dependable striker on his team.  Higuain needs to make it back to fitness quick or Real is in real trouble.

  November 30, 2010 19:14

Guerrero said:

Play high and press like the devil is how to play Barça. That's because FCB play high and press like the devil. It cuts off possession for the opposition. I thought for sure that was what RM were going to do. And what happens? They barely even press the entire first half. Visca Barça, the sorcerers of football.

  November 30, 2010 19:23

JohnPJones said:

Jesus, men against boys last night.

Plus, because, I actually like the guy I did feel sorry for Ramos as he seemed to be the only Madrid player who gave a crap.

There was absolutely bugger all they could have done about it though. We are just too good for them, (at the moment).

  November 30, 2010 19:26

Gorgon Banks said:

Ad hominem?  Pray tell, how have I personally attacked you?  

Its not a question of refutation my fragile friend.  Just a correction.  Calm yourself.  

FACT:  You stated that Barca scored 4, WRONG.

FACT:  You stated that it was bad move to sub-out Ozil.  PROBABLY WRONG (again for all the analyzed and factual reasons stated by my foregoing)  

Your logic is baffling.      

  November 30, 2010 19:58

JohnPJones said:

Actually on reflection, I need a bit more of that on the pitch brawling, and a bit more cheek from Guardiola, it'll make me think he is actually human, not some replicant with a supercomputer for football.

Ps; I just love the way Iniesta, (of all people) seems to be itching for a square go on Ronaldo, If this continues I can see him witing for the Portuguese chap at the Bernabeu carpark.

Great stuff!

  November 30, 2010 21:31

Vergilius said:

@Codorniu - you claimed the defeat had to do with the tactics of the coach and I disagreed with you on the basis that the tactic in question could be a good idea but that the players were unable to perform it. I get annoyed when people claim that this and this manager "got their tactics wrong" because most people don't seem to either not know much about tactics or not recognize the difference between the tactics of the coach and the execution of them by the players. I'm sorry if you took that comment to be directed at you, it wasn't in particular but English is not my first language.

  November 30, 2010 22:08

MonkQuixote said:

Getting slightly back on track, Eduardo Inda's videoblog today is an absolute masterpiece of 'elephant? What elephant? I see no elephant in this room...'

He's doing his squinty-tied rant about Ramos and Alonso getting fined for deliberately getting themselves sent off, THE SAME DAY that Ramos gets a one match ban for trying to break the record for most red cards earnt in a minute.

And his reasoning - Guardiola did the same two years ago. I'm Madrid born and bred (I got my mother to make me a replica shirt before they were even sold as 'normal'), and it is just plain embarassing what a shower of sh*t the level of editorial (and opinion) is.

Man up, for Christ's sake. Most of your editorial colleagues have at least some handle on reality (even if the guy questioning the current club captains' understanding of madridismo is really licking Raul and Guti's arses).

Yours, Cross of West London

  November 30, 2010 22:30

somoza said:

Vergilius, isn't it part of a manager's job to ensure that he sets the team up with tactics they are capable of executing ? And besides, considering how Mourinho loves hogging the glory when his teams win, it is ridiculous that he doesn't take more of the blame when his team gets stuffed.

Whether or not Madrid should have played a high line, what is abundantly clear is that it didn't work for a minute. And that had little to do with lack of endeavor from the defenders. Marcelo's positioning is poor, but for the love of Christ is that really such a secret to Mourinho ?

His tactics failed miserably, he should take more of the blame for a number of gross miscalculations.

  November 30, 2010 23:49

Codorniu said:

''you claimed the defeat had to do with the tactics of the coach and I disagreed with you on the basis that the tactic in question could be a good idea but that the players were unable to perform it. ''

I didn't claim that with different tactics he would have won; Inter also lost 1-0 @ Nou Camp (which was the match I was referencing). Furthermore I agree with somoza. The manager SHOULD know his players. But surely you agree Madrid should be able to do better than 5-0?

And honestly, Madrid's line up is not THAT different from Milaan's last year. (Same kind of players) the only thing Milaan didn't have is Ronaldo really.

  December 1, 2010 07:42

Giovanni said:

Looking back on the game, I see where we went wrong. Suprisingly its actually mostly tactical.. So I agree partially with the tactics debate. The players only know that 1 crazy 4-2-4 style since Mou has taken over, and as good as Xabi and Khedira are they can't handle the whole mid by themselves against the MACHINE.

You cannot match Barca's attacking line-up pound for pound. There is no beating them like that. ManU tried and failed before us.

The only way to beat Barca is to not play your own style but rather play to stop them. In the past Chelsea succeeded in doing this and more recently Inter Milan last season. The answer is 3 defensive minded midfielders. Roberto Mancini currently has Man City playing in this manner with de Jong, Barry and Yaya Toure in the centre of the park.

Added to this, Barca can only be destabilised by intense intimidating pressure, the only player up for that last night was Pepe.

Barca are clinical in their passing, they telepathically know where each player will be moving around the pitch whilst throwing in fullbacks on the overlap. The Spanish national team plays in exactly the same way, to win, you must physically beat them into submission.. Its a shame, but you'll never be allowed to play your own game.

This is the best Barca side in history. One can only watch in admiration, as they float majestically around the ground inflicting pain from any angle of the pitch. The best player in that side is Iniesta, he is never phased, the picture of composure- My nomination for Ballon d'or. The secret to that side is that their midfield three of Xavi, Busquets and Iniesta never panic and that translates confidence to the defense and attack.

  December 1, 2010 08:07

JohnPJones said:

this just in:

Manolo Preciado wishes to make a formal complaint against Madrid. He feels they threw away the game in Barcelona, and this is just not on, it brings the league into disrepute.

XD

  December 1, 2010 08:51

Giovanni said:

Lol! I should be annoyed at that joke, but its just too funny!

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