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La Liga Loca

A sideways look at Spanish football


Tim Stannard

See all posts

Good Day, Bad Day: Delicious Barca and vicious-looking Garrido


Monday 13 December 2010 14:50

Good Day

Barcelona

The fact that Real Sociedad are no suffering saps - or Real Madrid perhaps - makes the 5-0 win for ‘Qatar Foundation presents Pep’s Dream Boys!’ over La Real so darned impressive. It’s hard to know whether the match highlight was Leo Messi weaving past five defenders on the edge of the box to equal Ronaldo’s league tally of 17 goals, or the outstanding Argentine finishing off a 28 pass move straight from the second half kick-off.

The victory sees Villarreal’s Nilmar as the last footballer to score against Barcelona in la Liga back on the 13th November. It also sees the Catalan press as high as a Spanish middle-distance runner and babbling about football being reinvented and the deliciousness of Barça’s sporting stylings.


Alvaro Arbeloa

So upset is José Mourinho with Sergio Ramos these days, that the Madrid manager took time to point out in Friday’s press conference that the flamenco-fancying fullback would still have been replaced by the considerably more consistent Alvaro Arbeloa even if Ramos had not been injured for the Zaragoza clash.

As for the performance of the rest of Mou's men in the 3-1 victory, there’s not too much to be said of a perfectly perfunctory display against la Primera’s bottom dwellers, although that hasn’t stopped Monday’s press flogging Mourinho’s pre-match ‘hunting with dogs and cats’ spiel to death. And then some.

Tomás Roncero, writing in AS, realised that nothing of note happened in Sunday’s game and has instead gone through the entire Madrid eleven and decided which kind of dog or cat they would be. Which is as good a way to fill 400 words as any.

“Benzema is a harmless kitty, Di María is a pit-bull, Özil is a German shepherd, Xabi Alonso a Siberian husky...” lists Roncero.

LLL would argue that what the paper’s crackpot columnist failed to note is that Cristiano Ronaldo is an enormous pus... (Don’t go there - ed)


Kun Agüero

Curses! LLL dashed across the city - as much as sitting on a train can be considered dashing - from Getafe’s Coliseum to the Vicente Calderón in the hope of experiencing the 37th Atleti managerial sacking of the blog's spell in the Spanish capital with a defeat to Deportivo.

Sadly, the brilliant brace from little Kun - with the first goal being more than a bit special - keeps Quique in his job at least until a new year knock-out by Espanyol in the Copa del Rey.


Juan Albín

Just as the blog was merrily chuckling away at its own ‘Has-bín, not Albín’ gag, the Uruguayan forward goes and scores his side’s winner against Villarreal on a very famous evening indeed for Getafe. Unfortunately, his shirt being whipped off in celebration combined with an earlier yellow card saw Albín sent off seconds later.

Watching Getafe these days really is a whole bunch of fun, as supporters - and probably the manager - literally have no idea of what is going to happen. Míchel’s men can just as easily lose 3-0 to Málaga, draw 1-1 against Zaragoza or beat one of the best teams in Europe - as they did on Saturday - with just 10 men.


Oscar Serrano

Out injured for seven months, the Racing midfielder was thrown into the fray for his return to la Liga with just two minutes to go against Mallorca. A mere matter of moments later and Serrano had buried the ball into the roof of the Dudu Aouate’s net to give Racing their first away win of the season and Oscar the chance to show off his famous sharp-shooting with his nipples celebration, which certainly beats jamming a football up the jersey and running around a bit just because a particular player has managed to knock someone up.


Pablo Piatti

From a long line of tiny Argentinean fancy-pants players who are so softly spoken you can only hear them using an ear trumpet, Piatti was the man of the weekend after two fantastic goals for Almería in a more than surprising win for his side against Sevilla.

However, in the competition run by Marca for just such a contest, the readers of the paper are almost certainly going to vote for Cristiano Ronaldo - the player who is currently topping their Madrid-dominated league table.


Kiko Femenía

Having a bit of a girl’s name really didn’t stop the Hércules youngster from scoring a marvel of  a goal in the Alicante side’s 4-1 thrashing of Málaga.


Athletic Bilbao

Those of a betting lilt may want to take notice of the following statistic - LWLWLWLWLW. Those are the results of the last ten league matches for Athletic Bilbao, alternating between away and home. The most recent ‘W’ in San Mamés was a 2-1 win over Espanyol on Sunday, so a big ‘L’ is be expected away at Levante, next weekend.

Bad Day

Juan Carlos Garrido

So scared is LLL of Villarreal’s vicious-looking manager, that the blog didn’t dare point out the nonsense nature of Garrido’s complaints that the referee favoured Getafe in the 1-0 defeat by noting that it was the same official who brought Villarreal’s opponents down to ten men. Correctly, as it turns out with Cata Díaz getting his marching orders.

It was a strange old game for Villarreal. In the first half they were very good indeed, especially Santi Cazorla who even got a ‘wow’ moment from the home crowd with one particular pass. But with Getafe reduced in numbers, Villarreal completely lost the fluency in their football and ended up with just their third defeat all season.

Sevilla

Blimey. A defeat to Almería sees four losses in a row in la Liga and heaven knows what will happen if Sevilla lose out to Borussia Dortmund during the week in the Europa League - a defeat that would see the Andalusian side knocked out of two European competitions in one season.

Manuel Pellegrini

Marca was strangely silent when looking to comment on Málaga’s 4-1 victory over Hércules, last weekend, a performance that saw four cracking goals for good measure.

Amazingly, the paper has found time for Málaga manager, Manuel Pellegrini, in their top and bottom ten of the weekend column this Monday by sticking to the paper’s year long grudge against the former Real Madrid manager by placing him somewhere near the bottom of their chart - below Marta Dominguez if they could - after Málaga’s 4-1 defeat to Hércules.

Deportivo

Cold. Deportivo. Hate. Cold. Deportivo. Hate. Cold. Deportivo. Hate. Cold. Deportivo. Hate.

That’s LLL’s only memory from a frackin’ freezing Saturday evening at Vicente Calderón. 

Sporting

The Asturian side have now dropped down to second-from-bottom - a very worrying state of affairs - after a must-win-but-didn’t home draw against Levante.



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About Tim Stannard

La Liga Loca is the playground for the evil, more childish half of Tim Stannard’s psyche to be let loose. The other 50% is a contributor to FourFourTwo magazine, Football365, Sabotage Times as well as other publications such as UEFA Champions Magazine and When Saturday Comes. He is also a regular guest on Real Madrid TV’s Extra Time show and works as a TV producer extraordinaire for hire. To contact Tim directly email laligaloca@yahoo.co.uk

Comments

  December 13, 2010 16:28

Ivan said:

Hey Tim, when you write "babbling about football being reinvented and the deliciousness of Barça’s sporting stylings" it reads like you don`t agree. If this Barca side isn`t doing precisely that,then I don`t know what they are doing...this is football from the Outer Limits

...da da dada da da dada.

  December 13, 2010 16:49

Nicholas said:

twas a poor performance from us alright, at least Espanyol slipped up so we maintain our hold on third. Jozy's twitter has some good reactions from American fans to the result.

  December 13, 2010 17:27

Tim Stannard said:

Ivan - I agree with them. But in a less babbly way! LLL can't be done with it any more though.

Nicholas - It was a real shame, although I was pleased for Getafe as well. Villarreal simply couldn't get it together in the second half, and the more they couldn't, the worse it got. Nilmar looked a little bit lonely without the suspended Rossi. The other worrying news for Villarreal was that there were a lot of scouts at the game. A lot. And not just hoping to get a glimpse of Arizmendi either.

  December 13, 2010 17:50

Ivan said:

....just read MARCA today and Xavi says it himself..."We`ve never played at this level."   Scary,no?

  December 13, 2010 21:50

JohnPJones said:

Two comments filled with polemical nonsense. (It really is nonsense).

1. Lovely seeing Johan pissed off we are getting money off the Petrolheads, and that bismirches the shirt... but back in 2005, he was all for it.

4.bp.blogspot.com/.../Dibujo.bmp

2. Is Xavi amazed at the level of Spanish pharmaceutical power in getting those wondrous dr--- on to ... yeah OK, it's funny how many of these stories about Spanish athletes, ehem having trouble with 'pills' do crop up.

Twit of the day has to go to the doctor, (Involved in the latest drugs scandal) who said, If I talk then they might strip Spain of 2008 and the Worldcup. (Then talk ya loon).

PS. seriously thinking of going to see the greatest team ever do Paul's sorry bunch in at Cornella.

  December 13, 2010 23:23

gt607 said:

JPJ: as a cycling fan that's always at the back of mind, and it's something I've always known. I wish he would talk. (He's been "twit of the day" in the cycling world for about five years.) I know it will bring my team down, it will probably bring Barca down, it will bring down the Spanish national team, it will get ugly - but I want to know.

Take a quick look over the list of UCI ProTour teams... doping-wise, the worst teams are easily the Spanish teams (let's leave out Astana for now, whose main rider is, of course, Alberto Contador - a "fervent Madridista"). In Spain, obviously the resources to dope cyclists exist. Tell me, what other aerobic sport is popular in Spain... you think?

Sometimes - you wonder about the spate of Spanish professional footballers who've collapsed and/or died due to physical and medical issues in the past four or five years. Coincidence? When so much of the Spanish game is built on tactics requiring aerobic conditioning (constant movement, wearing the opponent out, etc.) superior to that of the opponent - among many other things?

Look at Nadal - a style of play that hinges on - you guessed it - superior aerobic conditioning.

Sorry for the diversion. But since doping has clearly been in the Spanish news these few weeks, all that's been resting on my mind has to go somewhere.

  December 14, 2010 00:47

Gerard said:

Fellow gt607, I respect your opinion, but that sounded like a pile of crap to me.

If in the future a doping scandal is related to FC Barcelona, it will be terrible to its fans and the football supporters everywhere who like to see quality play. It would probably affect the spanish team, too. But thinking that taking a few pills means a guaranteed success is dumb. In this case, sounds jealous.

This is not a single person sport where the one with higher capacity wins. Elements like strategy, luck, talent (the true cause of all of Barça's present glory) and willpower are very important here. Do you really think Messi is so sparkly thanks to drugs? And Xavi is taking some kind of mind-growing pills that make him smarter or see better through the game? I don't know if they actually take something, but I'm really sure they are not suspicious of anything.

On the other hand, Nadal is a different case. I think doping could have actual benefits to a tennist, and his primary weapon is, in fact, a huge capacity and strength. But how could he be so good when he was a child? Same applies to Messi as well. Easy to blame, hard to prove.

Nobody talks about cases like Lance Armstrong: he was a cyclist among the others, hadn't won anything, until he suffered a nasty testicular cancer... Then, the man was a beast, and you know the rest of the story. Well THAT is a suspicious case.

By the way, expect MARCA to be blaming Barça of doping if the things continue this way and Real Madrid doen't take over. Even if that means striking the national team. Anything to keep the current of thought the way they want.

  December 14, 2010 02:00

Mikas said:

Gerard,

I'm not questioning your comment that Armstrong's situation isn't suspicious however a couple of things stand out:

1. There's actually a massive federal court investigation occuring towards systematic doping on the US Postal Team, so yes people do mention it.

2. Armstrong had hardly won nothing before getting sick, he was already a world champion before contracting cancer.

  December 14, 2010 02:26

gt607 said:

Gerard - no, I agree with much of what you're saying. I don't want to derail the football discussion either, but I need to respond.

Here's what I think - football differs significantly from a sport like cycling in that physical fitness is required but not enough at the highest levels of the sport. Where road cycling is physical and to some extent tactical, football includes elements of creativity and technique that one cannot cheat their way towards. I am not going to watch a player pull off an absurd dribble or crossfield pass or curling free kick or impossible save and think, he took a pill for that. That's ridiculous. Clearly in this respect we don't disagree.

Nonetheless, I do not discount the possibility that at a high level of play, where differences between individual players' physical fitnesses can be minimal, where teams sometimes play three games in seven or eight days and maintain campaigns on three fronts, that doping could be looked to as a means of recovery, a quick way to nudge players into a physical condition that their bodies cannot achieve naturally.

On this issue, I am not jealous, and have no right to be jealous. If you have followed the progress of doping cases in Spain you will know that *both* Madrid and Barcelona have been implicated at various times in the last five years in connection with Operation Puerto and with the doctor whom JPJ referred to. And if you have followed cycling you will know that while Lance Armstrong is regarded with a lot of suspicion. There is very compelling evidence to suggest that he did dope, and in some circles he has already been as good as convicted. Why hasn't that been sorted out? Because the UCI is even more incompetent and corrupt than FIFA.

This doesn't mean I seek to invalidate everything that Barcelona has achieved - on the contrary. Talent is talent is talent. You are right - if we assume they dope, how does one account for the fact that Nadal, Armstrong, Messi etc showed talent from a young age? Answer - no one said that only talentless athletes dope. (I am not saying Messi dopes. I think there is a good chance the other two have.)

I'm sorry if this ruins anything for you, but I learnt a while ago to assume the worst in cycling. If a professed doping cyclist says he's seen famous La Liga players go to a certain doctor's office, if the doctor who dopes cyclists says he won't talk because it will put Spain's last two titles at risk, I say - innocent until proven guilty, but don't be gullible.

  December 14, 2010 03:43

Socceroo said:

We all know that Messi took steroids as a kid but that was for medical reasons

  December 14, 2010 05:01

JohnPJones said:

@ gt607

Uh, I don't know. Football is a little bit more than just aerobic performance though. I mean, some drugs will increase stamina over the piece, but they do hinder dexterity and  reflexes, which would mean a lot of problems if you would base your football on keeping the ball through intricate passing.

What I meant to say when I mentioned, Eufemiano Fuentes, (the aforementioned Twit) is that he is using a tired all Spanish polemic, an attention seeking exercise common to the shout-athon gossip shows on weekend night TV:

"I'm privy to some scandalous and secret information as detailed here in this document... but I'm not going to show you!" (Because it's false and would leave me open to a lawsuit).

I think someone should just bring this man to book, something like 'Own up or shut up'.

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