Never Mind the Bolsheviks

What's in a badge? Symbolism behind the crests of clubs in the former Soviet Union

2013-04-09T14:55:00Z

Never Mind the Bolsheviks looks into symbolism behind the crests of clubs in the former Soviet Union…

Alania Vladikavkaz, Russia (above left)
Capital of North Ossetia and once home to the Alans, the north Caucasus republic’s heraldry is evident on Alania’s own badge. The snow leopard is its symbol (and the club’s nickname), while the horizontal stripes represent the region’s flag: white is purity, red valour and yellow represents prosperity.

Anzhi Makhachkala, Russia (above centre)
Translating as “pearl”, Anzhi is how Makhachkala was previously known and the club draws heavily on their Dagestani roots. The snow-capped peaks pay homage to the north Caucasus republic’s topography (literally, “land of the mountains”), while the eagle is not only a symbol of the region and features on its coat of arms, but also Anzhi’s nickname (Orly). The three horizontal stripes form Dagestan’s flag: green represents the land (and is a colour of Islam), blue signifies the Caspian Sea and red is for courage.

BATE Borisov, Belarus (above right)
Their name gives away the club’s origins. BATE is an acronym of the Borisov Works of Automobile and Tractor Electrical Equipment. In the middle, the flag was borrowed from PSV Eindhoven’s crest, and represents a desire for success and to finish first. The star was added after the club’s fifth league title triumph.

Dacia Chişinău, Moldova (above left)
The red, blue and yellow are borrowed from the Moldovan tricolour. Dacia, formed in 1999, may lack history, but have looked to the country’s past to forge an identity. The Dacians were an ancient tribe that once inhabited the region and the wolf a sacred animal they worshipped. Considered a fierce creature and a symbol of courage and strength, Dacians also saw it as a protector of the people. Aside from the obvious sporting connection, the football is also a circle, which was a lucky symbol in Dacian culture.

Dinamo Tbilisi, Georgia (above centre)
Dinamo reintroduced the Cyrillic “D” (Д) from the Dinamo Sports Society last year. The letter also forms a falcon’s head. A symbol of the Georgian capital, legend has it that while out hunting, a king’s falcon caught a pheasant and they both fell into a hot spring; it is on that spot that Tbilisi was founded. Part of the thinking behind the new crest was to differentiate them from the other Dinamo clubs across the region.

Dynamo Kyiv, Ukraine (above right)
The club’s name, like others in the former Soviet Union bearing the “Dynamo” moniker, stems from the Dinamo Sports Society set up by Felix Dzerzhinsky, head of the Cheka (a forerunner to the KGB). Two stars signify the titles won by the club both in the Soviet championship and in post-independent Ukraine.

Kuban Krasnodar, Russia (above left)
Hailing from the south-western city of Krasnodar on the Kuban Steppe, the region (and club) takes its name from the eponymous river flowing through it. Krasnodar Krai is a fertile agriculture area and regarded as the country’s breadbasket. The yellow circle flanked by wheat symbolises the sun, the green its verdant fields.

Metalist Kharkiv, Ukraine (above centre)
Metalist began at a locomotive factory. Their name, perhaps unsurprisingly, means “metalworker”. The top left portion contains an “M” for Metalist and the right carries Kharkiv’s own crest. A cornucopia adorned with flowers and filled by fruits, which symbolises abundance. It is crossed by a caduceus that represents health, while the two snakes depict wisdom and the green background stands for hope, joy and wealth. Blue and yellow, the club colours, are taken from Ukraine’s flag.

Neftçi Baku, Azerbaijan (above right)
Neftçi’s name comes from the Azeri word for oil. They began as a side formed by the Ministry of Oil Industry in Baku who created a sports society, hence the derrick, many of which can be seen on the city’s skyline. The wave at the bottom represents the Caspian Sea on which Baku sits.

Pakhtakor Tashkent, Uzbekistan (above left)
Pakhtakor, or “the cotton pickers”, take their identity from the cotton trade. Uzbekistan is one of the world’s highest producers of cotton and at the centre of the club’s crest lies a cotton bud.

Rubin Kazan, Russia (above centre)
At the ruby-shaped crest’s heart is the Zilant dragon, a mythical creature considered to be the protector of Kazan. It is in flight – symbolising their desire to reach new heights – and spitting a flame that represents Rubin’s burning passion. The colours are borrowed from the flag of Tatarstan, where a strong sense of nationalism remains: green – revival (and Islam), white – purity and red – energy, maturity and life. The white stripe also signifies where east meets west.

Sevastopol, Ukraine (above right)
The Bell of Chersonesos was cast out of Turkish cannons captured during the Russo-Turkish War of 1776. Taken by the French during the Crimean War, it was returned to Ukraine in 1913. From 1942 it did not chime for 60 years until 2002 – around about the same time as Sevastopol were formed – and this has come to symbolise the club’s development. Representing honour and dignity, and a reminder of Crimea’s defence, it is looking out to sea – to Europe – where the club harbour aspirations of competing. They want the continent to see the bell again, only this time under the auspices of Sevastopol. The yellow and blue portray the beach and Black Sea and are also the colours of the Ukrainian flag.

Shakhtar Donetsk, Ukraine (above left)
Shakhtar’s name means “miner” and is a nod to their beginnings as a coalminers’ side. These roots are evident on the crest. A black bottom half – symbolising coal – contains a pair of crossed hammers and signifies an energy lying deep within the ground. The orange segment depicts a flame. This also represents the glowing sun that greets miners after emerging from the pits and, what’s more, points to a bright future. Separating them is the club’s name. It is written in Ukrainian (Шахтар) not Donetsk’s main language of Russian (Шахтер). Shakhtar opted for the former as they aspire to become ambassadors of Ukrainian football and this is a notion further reinforced by the first letter, shaped in such a way that it resembles the trident (a national symbol). The outline, rather than circular, is more aggressive and indicates a greater sense of purpose and direction.

Sheriff Tiraspol, Moldova (above centre)
It is no coincidence that their badge resembles that of a sheriff’s. Located in Transdniestr, Moldova’s breakaway republic certainly has a Wild West feel to it and the eponymous Sheriff company is a key player. Initially its workers were either police officers or had served in the army; club president (and Sheriff’s co-founder), Viktor Gushan, was a former KGB officer. The star denotes 10 Divizia Naţională league titles.

Terek Grozny, Russia (above right)
Terek, whose name is borrowed from the Terek River, recently updated their crest. At its centre in the ball are the letters A and K – the initials of the late Chechen president Akhmad Kadyrov – whom the club’s new stadium is named after. The main part of the badge features the letter “T” and a depiction of the Terek River, while the green, red and white are taken from the republic’s flag.

Vorskla Poltava, Ukraine (above left)
The crest, rather than round, is shield-shaped – a sign of defence. The bow and arrow, also on the city’s coat of arms, demonstrates a willingness to attack and positivity. As do the four stars that represent the cardinal points (six points means luck). The heraldic wings hint at Vorskla striving to reach higher goals. Green and White are the main colours of the club, while the red is the city’s. The gold outline symbolises victory and prosperity.

Zenit St Petersburg, Russia (above right)
Zenit’s logo and, indeed, name has gone through several incarnations over the years. They settled on Zenit (summit) in 1940. That was when the metal plant from where they were born came under the auspices of the People’s Commissariat for Arms and Ammunition. This influence can still be seen through the arrowhead design of the club’s name (written in the Russian constructivism style) which is pointing upwards, symbolic of Zenit’s will to win. A ship is with reference to the country’s naval fleet which is based in St Petersburg.

Football in the City of the Dead: The truth behind the first match of the Siege of Leningrad

2013-03-25T09:15:00Z

It was a story that could have been taken straight from the script of a Hollywood movie. There was no glory, no glittering trophy or hero as such, but amid the utter devastation and suffering wrought by Germany’s brutal siege of Leningrad during World War Two, a football match took place. For its war-weary people, Dinamo Leningrad versus Nevsky Zavod was not just an allegory of resistance, but a defiant gesture that their city would not surrender.

Operation Barbarossa – the Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union – began on 22 June 1941. They soon reached Leningrad (now St Petersburg), but in the face of fierce resistance, Adolf Hitler instead ordered his generals to impose a blockade. By September the city was surrounded. The Wehrmacht severed communications and subjected it to fierce artillery and aerial bombardment during a siege that lasted 872 days. According to official figures, starvation, hypothermia, disease or enemy action killed 632,000 people, although the actual death toll is probably closer to a million.

Conditions were appalling, and made worse by one of the harshest winters in decades that saw temperatures plummet to -35ºC. In April 1942 the Luftwaffe airdropped macabre pamphlets entitled “Leningrad: the City of the Dead”, that bluntly informed the populace of their fate. “We will not take her yet but only because we are scared of an epidemic from the bodies,” said the gruesome missive. “We have wiped this city from the face of the earth.” They had even deposited chilling invitations to a “victory party” at the Hotel Astoria. But Leningraders would not submit. Indeed, sport became a means by which to raise spirits and show the Germans that life continued.

German infantrymen advance towards Leningrad in September 1941

The Soviet championship followed the calendar year – it didn’t use the “autumn-spring” system favoured in the west and recently adopted by Russia – so was almost at the halfway stage when Germany invaded. Leningrad had been represented by three clubs in the Top League: pre-war favourites Dinamo, the now defunct Spartak and Zenit, who began as a team from a local metal plant. The final football was played on 24 June. Despite a few ad-hoc games during the siege, the “Blockade Match”, as it came to be known, had been the first “proper” fixture and was organised by the Regional Party Committee.

At that time many footballers had been evacuated, some were dead, others serving in the forces or police, while a few remained in Leningrad. Details of the Blockade Match are hazy, but the most important fact is that on 31 May 1942, Dinamo played Nevsky Zavod (the metal plant’s team that was, in essence, Zenit) in a fixture that became testimony to the city’s strong spirit and resilience. Some players even returned from the front for the match.

Dinamo, with many of the squad enrolled in the army or police, had better fitness levels. They suggested a full match. Nevsky Zavod wanted two halves of 20 minutes and, while there are some reports of it indeed lasting one-and-a-half hours, others claim that their meeting consisted of two 30-minute halves. Certainly this is the assertion of Zenit’s historians.

With resources limited, civilians attempt to collect water from a broken main

One irrefutable fact is the venue. Dinamo’s stadium on Krestovsky Island had suffered heavy bombing so it took place on their reserve pitch. Most of the terraces were gone, either damaged or taken as firewood the previous winter. Even before kickoff the sides had been warned not to kick the ball on to an adjacent field being used as a makeshift allotment.

Romantics insist that a large crowd was in attendance on that warm and sunny day – as high a couple of thousand, perhaps – while others have been slightly more conservative in their estimates. It was likely just a small number were present. Certainly the patients of a nearby hospital and some factory workers witnessed it. The game, broadcast over the radio, probably wasn't heard by either set of troops on the frontline, despite claims to the contrary. The majority of Leningraders only really learned about the match a couple of days later from newspapers.

A Russian gunner staves off the assault on the Leningrad suburbs

Reports vary. One imagines the siege had left both sides in poor physical condition, despite their preparations, and that it perhaps wasn't quite the fast-paced match Leningradskaya Pravda details. But there had been a sense of occasion. Both teams were fully kitted out, clean-shaven and well-groomed. It proved to be a struggle, however, with some players collapsing from exhaustion and needing help to get back up again. Neither sat down at half-time for fear of being unable to stand and at the final whistle they walked off in arms.

Separating fact from fiction is difficult; even the date is disputed. Some claim that the first match was actually Dinamo’s 7-3 victory over a Baltic Fleet side, although the game with Nevsky Zavod is generally accepted as taking place earlier. They may or may not have sought shelter from a German attack, but we do know that Dinamo won 6-0, and that a week later they played out a 2-2 draw in front of 250 spectators, despite nearby shelling. By no means the only game during the siege (football became an almost regular event), it is their first fixture, and one that became one of legend for St Petersburg.

The Monument to the defenders of Leningrad in modern day St Petersburg

Football formally returned to the USSR in July 1944, with a cup competition that included both Zenit and Dinamo. The league began the following year. Zenit, after defeating Dinamo Moscow’s first and second teams, along with Azerbaijan’s Dinamo Baku, overcame Spartak Moscow to earn a place in the final, where Konstantin Lemeshev’s side beat CDKA Moscow 2-1.

No side from outside of the capital had ever won the competition before and it was also Zenit’s first piece of silverware. In a city proud of its history the Blockade Match is not forgotten. Last year, on its 70th anniversary, a monument honouring the two sides was unveiled on Krestovsky Island and the match recreated to honour those who provided Leningraders with a beacon of hope in its darkest hour.

The miracle of Middlesbrough: When McClaren’s comeback kings overcame Steaua

2013-03-14T12:41:00Z

As Steaua Bucharest travel to London aiming to dump Chelsea out of the Europa League, Mark Gilbey recalls the last time the Romanians faced an English side in the knock-out stages of a European competition…

You have to listen carefully, but there's a brief moment after Massimo Maccarone’s last-minute winner for Middlesbrough against Steaua Bucharest in the Uefa Cup semi-final six years ago – and it really is just a couple of seconds – when the only sound on BBC Tees was the Riverside’s roar.

In the excitement of it all, of the Italian’s bald head meeting a Stewart Downing cross, commentator and long-time Boro supporter Ali Brownlee dropped his microphone in the press box. You can hear him scrambling around trying to pick it up before the silence is broken by something about “driving a stake through the heart of Dracula’s boys”.

Some may scoff, but it is a wonderful piece of radio that captures the raw emotion of being a football fan.

The self-styled “small town in Europe” were the continent’s comeback kings that season. Steve McClaren’s side had qualified for the Uefa Cup after finishing seventh in the Premier League, but the 2005/06 campaign was ultimately a disappointing one.

Despite beating Chelsea and Manchester United, Boro were hammered 7-0 by Arsenal and ended the Premier League campaign in a disappointing 14th place. They did, however, enjoy cup runs both at home and in Europe. After navigating their way through the Uefa Cup group stages, plus ties against Stuttgart and Roma, Boro earned themselves a quarterfinal against Basel.

Christian Gross’ team seemed in control at the halfway stage of the tie. After all, they had won the first leg 2-0 in Switzerland and after 23 minutes at the Riverside their Brazilian striker Eduardo made it 3-0 on aggregate.

But then something extraordinary happened. Mark Viduka struck either side of half-time and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink added a third in the 79th minute. The momentum was with Boro.

Basel’s Daniel Majstorović needlessly got himself sent off, but they still needed another goal. Time was running out but with seconds remaining Pascal Zuberbühler parried Fábio Rochemback’s shot and on hand was Maccarone – their £8.15m misfit striker who had been back to Italy for loan spells with Parma and Siena – to pounce and setup a semi-final against Steaua. “They will come to see this as Middlesbrough's Istanbul moment,” announced the Guardian.

Their Romanian opponents, champions of Europe 20 years earlier, overcame city rivals Rapid Bucharest in the previous round. Some 1,700 fans made their way east for the first leg that was Middlesbrough’s 56th match of the season, and fourth in eight days. It is little wonder this young team - missing 35-year-old captain Gareth Southgate, Mark Viduka and Chris Riggott - looked jaded. Cosmin Olăroiu’s side won the first leg 1-0 when Nicolae Dică held off George Boateng, before swivelling and firing past Mark Schwarzer. But for the Australian, it could have been far worse.

The victory came at a cost for Steaua though, who would be without the suspended Sorin Paraschiv and Bănel Nicoliță in the second leg.

Although Steaua would be without the suspended Sorin Paraschiv and Bănel Nicoliță for the second leg, they did have the luxury of resting half the team for a 3-0 victory over Farul Constanţa.

By comparison, McClaren’s preparations had hardly been perfect. Boro had suffered the disappointment of being beaten 1-0 by West Ham United in an FA Cup semi-final, but welcomed back Southgate, Riggott and Viduka to their 3-1-4-2 formation.

Before kick-off the atmosphere inside the ground had been electric. Fans held aloft red and white cards spelling out “Eindhoven”, the venue for the final, and there was a rousing rendition of “You are my Boro” that had the Riverside buzzing. Interest in Romania had been huge. The acclaimed Teatrul de Comedie even cancelled its performance of William Shakespeare’s Two Gentlemen of Verona that evening.

McClaren instructed his team to keep it tight early on – he didn’t want another repeat of Basel – but inside 25 minutes Boro found themselves two goals down on the night and heading for defeat.

First, Petre Marin cut inside and unleashed a shot from 22 yards that Brad Jones – standing in for Schwarzer, who had broken his cheekbone against West Ham – could only parry, allowing Dică to open the scoring on 16 minutes. Steaua soon had a second. Dorin Goian’s header from a corner was blocked, but the defender smashed the ball in at the second opportunity.

Boro needed four. What’s more, Southgate injured his knee and had to be replaced by Maccarone. Resigned to defeat, some supporters left the ground.

With nothing to lose, McClaren abandoned the five-man midfield. The fight back began in the 33rd minute when Viduka found Maccarone out wide on the right and the Italian fired a shot across Carlos Fernandes into the far corner. “Three more, we only need three more,” sang the Riverside. Surely not? Surely even they didn’t believe it? Not again?

Fernandes kept Boro at bay until half-time, but the pressure continued after the interval as McClaren introduced a fourth striker, Ayegbeni Yakubu, in place of Andrew Taylor.

It took 19 minutes for Boro to add a second. Downing, whose return after five months out with a knee injury injected fresh impetus into Boro, delivered a cross from deep that Viduka met with a thumping header to level on the night, but they still required another two.

Downing also had a hand in the third. A throw-in caused panic and Steaua could only clear as far as the winger who fired a low cross-cum-shot that Fernandes couldn’t hold, allowing Riggott to slide in from close range on 73 minutes.

“I turned to the lads on the bench and said: ‘this is ours now',” McClaren later reflected in the Northern Echo. “We still had plenty of time left, but after 10 or so minutes had passed, I think everyone was getting twitchy.”

Less than 60 seconds remained when Downing whipped in another teasing cross; Steaua cleared and, although Middlesbrough won the second ball, the Romanians got it back.

Daniel Bălan received a pass about 25 yards out and then, of all moments, he miscontrolled and it went straight to Downing. He turned Bălan inside out and swung over another ball that found the head of a diving Maccarone to clinch a remarkable victory at the death.

The Riverside erupted. “Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, we're going to PSV, que sera sera,” sang the fans at the final whistle. It was one of the greatest nights in Boro’s history.

“I said that lightning couldn't strike twice in the same place but it has done,” declared McClaren. “Now let's go one step further and win the final.”

It would have been a perfect send-off for him in his last game - by then it had become known that after five years McClaren would be leaving to take the England job.

Alas, it was a step too far. Over 12,000 fans travelled to Eindhoven for the final against Sevilla, but goals from Luis Fabiano, Enzo Maresca (two) and Frédéric Kanouté handed Juande Ramos’ side a 4-0 win. It was a sad farewell for McClaren but regardless of the result, his small town in Europe had made a big impression on the continent.

Middlesbrough 4-2 Steaua Bucharest (agg 4-3)
Uefa Cup semi-final, second leg (27 April 2006).
Middlesbrough Brad Jones; Chris Riggott, Gareth Southgate (Massimo Maccarone 26’), Franck Queudrue; Stuart Parnaby, Fábio Rochemback, George Boateng, Stewart Downing, Andrew Taylor (Ayegbeni Yakubu 55’); Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink (Ugo Ehiogu 90’), Mark Viduka. Unused substitutes: David Knight, Matthew Bates, Lee Cattermole, Ray Parlour.
Goals: Massimo Maccarone 33’, 89’; Mark Viduka 64’; Chris Riggott 73’.
Steaua Bucharest Carlos Fernandes; George Ogăraru, Sorin Ghionea, Dorin Goian, Petre Marin; Daniel Oprita (Eugen Baciu 81’), Mirel Rădoi, Florin Lovin, Gabriel Boştină (Mihai Neşu 86’); Nicolae Dică, Victoraş Iacob (Daniel Bălan 65’). Unused substitutes: Cornel Cernea, Valentin Simion, Vasilică Cristocea, Andrei Cristea.
Goals: Nicolae Dică 16’; Dorin Goian 24’.

Anzhi once again left longing for home comforts on European adventures

2013-03-07T14:18:00Z

Ronald de Boer and Rangers (eventually) faced Anzhi in September 2001

It is in Moscow, not in their home town, that Anzhi Makhachkala will host Newcastle United this evening. The Russian capital lies some 1,250 miles north from Makhachkala, a city of 600,000 on the Caspian Sea’s western shores in Dagestan where Guus Hiddink’s side usually play their home matches.

It’s also where Anzhi wanted to face Newcastle, Liverpool and all of their other overseas opponents, but Uefa deemed the volatile north Caucasus republic too dangerous, and instead ordered the club to fulfil their 'home' Europa League fixtures elsewhere. So tonight’s game, despite Anzhi’s protestations earlier this season, takes place at the Luzhniki Stadium.

Much has been written of the terrorist threat in the region since Suleiman Kerimov’s wealth catapulted Anzhi on to the global stage. It is, for example, well documented that the star-studded squad reside in Moscow and only flies to Makhachkala the day before matches. But this is only their second European campaign. Security issues have afflicted them since an incredibly controversial Uefa Cup debut 12 years ago, when Dick Advocaat’s Rangers dug their heels in and refused to visit Dagestan for a first-round tie in September 2001.

Initially, Uefa granted Anzhi permission to play at their Dinamo Stadium – around £1 million was spent sprucing it up for what would have been the biggest match in the club’s short history – but Rangers were not happy. That was in stark contrast to Dagestanis. The tie prompted hitherto unparalleled interest in a team only founded in 1991, and some 400,000 people attempted to buy tickets for the first leg at Anzhi’s 17,000-capacity ground, even if they were priced at three times the cost of a league game (£4). Anzhi had qualified by virtue of finishing fourth the previous season with a budget of around £6m (just shy of what modern day Anzhi star Samuel Eto’o earns four months).

Problems soon arose, however. After all, Grozny – the capital of war-torn Chechnya – was just 100 miles away and the conflict there had, on occasion, spilt over into Dagestan. The region had witnessed a number of bombings since the second Chechen War began in 1999, and foreigners were seen as lucrative targets for kidnappers.

"We have advised people not to travel," the Foreign Office said at the time. "We cannot stop people going to watch the game, but they should think very hard about it. People should check their travel insurance very carefully because many insurers will not insure you if we have advised you not to go." Rangers were eventually quoted an eye-watering figure of £10m for their expensively-assembled squad.

But representatives did fly out to Dagestan for a reconnaissance trip. It wasn't good news. The situation was such that the club would have had to bring their own toilet paper, bedding, soap and towels. Even the prospect of trying some of Russia’s best cognac or its famed sturgeon steaks couldn’t sway them. Visa problems also meant that head scout Ewan Chester was unable to see Anzhi play, so instead Advocaat relied on videos.

A bomb actually exploded on a disused railway line while the delegation was en route from Moscow. Rangers promptly announced that they would not play in Dagestan, much to the annoyance of Russians. "Those gentlemen from Glasgow visited Makhachkala, supped our expensive cognac and praised the atmosphere in the city," Vladimir Rodionov, the Russian Football Union’s secretary told the Scottish Daily Mail. “But I warned the Anzhi management: ‘Don't listen to them, they will talk in a different way as soon as they get home’. That is how it happened. They declared how dangerous Makhachkala is. They still can't understand that Dagestan is not Chechnya where British heads are cut off.”

There was further bombing that September, but Uefa stood by their decision, despite the terrorist attacks of 9/11 in the United States that had heightened fears.

“Taking full consideration of all the advice available, a team cannot at this time be sent to Makhachkala for safety reasons,” Rangers chairman David Murray had said. “We have advised Uefa that, although our travel plans have been cancelled, we could still be in a position to travel, to participate in the match assuming a safe venue can be confirmed." He added: “We have no alternative but to pursue our appeals by referring this issue to the Court of Arbitration for Sport in Switzerland. The safety of the club's employees remains our foremost consideration.” Had it not been for Uefa suspending all European football that week, Rangers would have found themselves expelled from the competition.

Understandably, they were keen not to set a precedent whereby clubs could simply avoid playing in certain areas, but eventually Uefa yielded. It was decided that instead the tie would be a one-off match in Poland. Anzhi were fuming. “I consider Rangers have behaved very badly,” coach Alexander Markarov declared. “They have lost the respect of our people. We would have welcomed them and there would have been no problems. Maybe their coach Dick Advocaat was afraid, but they would have been respected guests. Our fans were looking forward to a great occasion against a good team that boasts players such as Stefan Klos, Ronald de Boer and Tore André Flo.

“Dagestan is one of the most hospitable regions of Russia and we have 30 nationalities including eight Scots there. We had hoped to play the first game at home in front of a big crowd and take a lead to Glasgow. The people are not happy. But many of them, including the country's president, came to the airport to see us off. We have brought only a few supporters, but I understand more will try and make it to Warsaw by coach. This is our first tie in Europe and although it is unfortunate that it is a single game, perhaps we will win it and then be happy to have one-off situations all the way to the final. The players know what is required and we have offered them each $100,000 to get through.”

And so it was to Poland that Gers fans travelled on 27 September to see their team play at the mostly empty Wojska Polskiego Stadium, rather than a sold-out Dinamo Stadium in Makhachkala. Rangers found their midtable opposition a tricky side and struggled to really impose themselves on the game. It wasn't until six minutes from time that the sparse crowd saw Bert Konterman finally make the breakthrough when his low, deflected drive from 25 yards found its way past goalkeeper Aleksandr Zhidkov to settle the long-awaited tie.

Anzhi were out, but the real losers in the whole affair had been Uefa. The security situation in the north Caucasus hardly came out of the blue – the Russian season in those days followed the calendar year – so they had an ample period in which to reach a verdict. Even playing somewhere like Vladikavkaz in North Ossetia where both Rangers and Liverpool visited just a few years earlier for European ties against Alania would have been a sensible compromise. Uefa dealt with the matter slightly more efficiently this season, but with Anzhi’s rise (and a new stadium on the way), coupled with that of Terek Grozny in neighbouring Chechnya, it is an issue they could often find themselves revisiting.

Anzhi Makhachkala 0-1 Rangers
Uefa Cup, first round (27 September 2001)
Anzhi Makhachkala Aleksandr Zhidkov, Sergei Yaskovich, Andrei Gordeyev, Ruslan Agalarov, Narvik Sirkhaev, Magomed Adiev, Murad Ramazanov, Arsen Akayev (Ratko Nikolić 87), Michael Bilong, Edu, Ilya Tsymbalar. Unused substitutes: Marek Holly, Yves Ngangue, Sergei Ivanov, Dzenan Hodzic, Valeri Alekseyev, Sergei Armishev.
Rangers Stefan Klos, Fernando Ricksen, Craig Moore, Lorenzo Amoruso, Arthur Numan, Barry Ferguson, Tore André Flo (Claudio Caniggia 57), Neil McCann (Peter Løvenkrands 63), Ronald de Boer, Bert Konterman, Russell Latapy (Stephen Hughes 90). Unused substitutes: Billy Dodds, Andrei Kanchelskis, Jesper Christiansen, Tony Vidmar.
Goals: Bert Konterman 84’.

Arsenal’s home humiliation: Remembering Spartak's Highbury romp

2013-02-19T11:25:00Z

An air of confidence permeated through the Highbury pressroom before Arsenal’s Uefa Cup match against Spartak Moscow.

It was September 1982, and the general consensus among journalists and commentators covering the second leg of their first-round tie had been that the Gunners would win by at least two goals. Manager Terry Neill appeared rather more cautious.

After all, only a fortnight earlier he’d seen his team surrender a two-goal lead in the first game as the Russians deservedly ran out 3-2 winners at the Luzhniki Stadium with a fine display of neat, attacking football. That defeat transpired to be Arsenal’s last away day on the continent for almost a decade. A barren domestic spell, coupled with Uefa banning English clubs from European competition after the Heysel disaster meant that it would be another nine years before they played abroad again.

The season had only just begun when Spartak arrived in England. At least, it had for Arsenal. The Soviet championship followed the calendar year and Konstantin Beskov’s side were flying high in the table. Arsenal, meanwhile, had yet to really get going and found themselves 14th, sandwiched between the two Nottingham clubs, Forest and County, after seven matches. The sluggish start made by Arsène Wenger’s charges this season was the club’s worst since that 1982-83 campaign.

Terry Neill left his post at Tottenham to take over at Arsenal in 1976

Aresnal had earned a place in the Uefa Cup with a fifth-place finish despite having recently lost some key players. Manchester United had snapped-up Frank Stapleton in 1981, while Liam Brady had moved to Juventus a year earlier. So in some respects this was still a side looking to find itself.

Important players leaving, a star striker moving to United and what was a fairly average squad, not to mention a once-popular manager under fire and a frugal board facing criticism; how times have changed at Arsenal.

A certain exoticism had been attached to their visitors from behind the Iron Curtain, mainly because the communist party forbade Soviet footballers from joining foreign clubs. It hadn't been until later that decade, in the spirit of glasnost and perestroika, that a select few were granted transfers abroad. This was 1982 though. Leonid Brezhnev’s long reign had not quite ended – he died six weeks later – so it gave Arsenal supporters a rare opportunity to see firsthand the likes of goalkeeper Rinat Dasaev, who had starred for the USSR at that summer’s World Cup.

Muscovites weren't so lucky. The state broadcaster, Central Television, had been left stunned by the BBC, who owned the rights to the match and were demanding £180,000. Central Television only paid £300,000 for all 52 World Cup games just a few months earlier and baulked at the Beeb’s asking price, so fans back home were unable to watch Narodnaya Komanda (the People’s Club).

Arsenal began on the front foot, but Spartak had not come to defend their one-goal advantage. Far from it, in fact. This talented Spartak side not only included Dasaev, but the likes of Oleg Romantsev, Yuri Gavrilov, Fedor Cherenkov and their all-time leading goalscorer, Sergei Rodionov. The team were renowned for their incisive, attacking style. Even today, Arsenal fans still remember their performance as being one of the finest by any team to visit Highbury.

Spartak hammered Arsenal 5-2, although the scoreline could have been even greater. “Arsenal were given a humiliating lesson in the arts of total football by the richly talented Moscow Spartak side,” gushed the Guardian.

For the most part, Spartak keeper Dassaev kept Arsenal at bay

Arsenal couldn’t cope with the vision and creativity of Spartak’s midfield and the forwards, Rodionov and Gavrilov, were findings gaps across the Arsenal back four as the Russians began to impose themselves on the game. Neill’s side lacked a quality striker. They were unable to get Lee Chapman and Tony Woodcock into the game, so it was little surprise when the visitors opened the scoring on 27 minutes through Sergei Shvetsov. That shook Arsenal.

A goal down at the interval, Neill gambled and swapped John Hollins and Paul Davis for Alan Sunderland and Brian McDermott, as Arsenal moved from a conventional 4-4-2 to a more attacking 4-2-4. It didn’t pay off. The midfield was overrun and Spartak were able to pick them off at will with some scintillating football. They zipped the ball about with a speed and accuracy that Arsenal simply couldn’t deal with.

Spartak doubled their lead on 57 minutes when the impressive Edgar Gess switched play with a superb cross-field pass to Rodionov, who played a one-two with Cherenkov before firing past George Wood. Arsenal were one-dimensional in comparison; their performance perhaps summed up by Kenny Sansom’s poor back-pass to Wood that Cherenkov gleefully intercepted 10 minutes later for Spartak’s third. Highbury fell silent.

The visitors’ one-touch football and movement became a joy to behold. They always managed to find an extra yard of space. Sergei Shavlov’s terrific volley shortly afterwards put them four goals up and, while McDermott did reduce the arrears in the 74th minute, it was too late for Arsenal to mount any sort of comeback. Even their fans showed appreciation for Gess’ smart run and shot that brought Spartak’s fifth.

Chapman pulled one back just before the final whistle, but rather than the chorus of boos that resonated around the Emirates after Saturday’s defeat to Blackburn, almost the entire stadium – stewards and police included – stood to applaud the Spartak players off the pitch.

Chapman is felled by Romantsev on a frustrating evening for Arsenal's forwards

To this day, it remains the biggest home European defeat in the club’s history. Eighteen years later Romantsev led the Spartak side that also inflicted their joint-biggest away European defeat when Arsenal were humbled 4-1 in a Champions League group game at the Luzhniki Stadium.

Spartak were paired with the Dutch side Haarlem in the second round, although the tie became largely irrelevant. Instead, the first leg at the Luzhniki Stadium shall forever be remembered as Russian football’s darkest day.

On 20 October just 15,000 supporters – all put into the eastern sector by authorities – braved the wintery weather to supporter their team. Many would never return home.

With Spartak leading 1-0 and the match petering out, fans began filing out of the stadium, only for Shvetsov to double their lead with 20 seconds remaining. “I wish I hadn't scored,” he would later say.

The departing crowd descending the slippery steps heard the cheers and attempted to rush back into the stadium, creating panic as people lost their footing in the dark. Soviet authorities listed the dead at 66 in the crush, although the tragedy was somewhat hushed up and the real figure lies somewhere closer to 350. Not until the final days of the Soviet Union did some semblance of the truth emerge.

Spartak won the tie, but were knocked out by Valencia in the next round. Arsenal posted their worst league position of Neill’s seven-year tenure, 10th, and eventually he was sacked in December 1983. Don Howe came in and steadied things – Tony Adams made his debut that season – plus David Dein joined the club. After Howe left three years later, George Graham was appointed manager and, aside from leading Arsenal to a first league title since his playing days at the club, arguably laid the foundations for future success.

Arsenal 2-5 Spartak Moscow (agg 4-8); Uefa cup, first round second leg (29 September 1982).
Arsenal George Wood, John Hollins (Alan Sunderland 46’), Kenny Sansom, Bryan Talbot, David O’Leary, Chris Whyte, Paul Davis (Brian McDermott 46’), Stewart Robson, Lee Chapman, Tony Woodcock, Graham Rix.
Goals: McDermott 74’, Chapman 90’.
Spartak Moscow Rinat Dasaev (Aleksei Prudnikov 80’), Vladimir Sochnov, Boris Pozdnyakov, Vladimir Shcherbak, Oleg Romantsev, Sergei Shavlov, Sergei Shvetsov, Edgar Gess (Yevgeni Kuznetsov 80’), Yuri Gavrilov, Fedor Cherenkov, Sergei Rodionov.
Goals: Shvetsov 27’, Rodionov 56’, Cherenkov 66’, Shavlov 71’, Gess 77’.

Metalist’s own foreign legion forging a strong reputation in Ukraine

2013-02-14T13:15:00Z

In some respects this evening is the beginning of a new era for Metalist Kharkiv. Little may have outwardly changed since the Europa League draw was made back in December, but the Ukrainians' match against Newcastle United will be their first competitive fixture since the club changed owners last month. Quite what this means at the moment remains unclear.

Serhiy Kurchenko, the new president, is certainly talking the talk. “I don't want to look at Shakhtar Donetsk and Dynamo Kyiv's back; I don't want to celebrate the bronze medal and the Ukrainian Cup every year,” he said of his aspirations for club. “I want to hear the anthem of the Champions League at our stadium. Our goal is to win the championship's gold within three years and to bring a European trophy to Kharkiv within five years."

Certainly Zhovto-syni (the Yellow-Blues) were heading in the right direction under Kurchenko’s predecessor, Oleksandr Yaroslavsky. Six consecutive third-place finishes are testament to that, not to mention twice reaching the knockout stages of the Europa League. This season Myron Markevych’s side are fourth, albeit just two points behind Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk in second.

They also topped their Europa League group once again, conceding just three goals in six matches. Metalist are one of the few teams to have beaten Shakhtar at the Donbass Arena, they also won 3-1 away to Dynamo this season.

Metalist's foreign legion (and Kharkiv-born keeper Goryainov) vs Leverkusen

Numerous factors have contributed to Metalist’s success, Yaroslavsky’s financial backing being one of them. Markevych, like his Newcastle counterpart Alan Pardew, has been busy assembling a foreign legion, and it's already reaping dividends. Although rather than France, the 62-year-old is tapping into the South American market. Metalist have half a dozen Argentineans, plus five Brazilians - six if you include midfielder Edmar, a naturalised Ukrainian who arrived in the country during the 2002/03 season.

But a Ukrainian passport is a valuable commodity these days, what with the Ukrainian Premier League’s limit on foreign players, or “legionnaires”. Clubs must field a minimum of four Ukrainians. It's a problem for many sides, but seems to be felt more acutely by Metalist. Edmar isn't their only naturalised player; Serbian-born goalkeeper Vladimir Dišljenković also has a Ukrainian passport, as did Marko Dević, a striker who has since joined Shakhtar. Managers almost have to juggle their sides and find the right combination. Fortunately for Metalist, this isn't a problem that Markevych has to worry about in Europe and he is able to pick as many South Americans as he wants, not a team that must comply with a quota.

This is a real impediment to Metalist domestically. A lack of local players has also provoked criticism from some fans. “In Ukraine there are almost no young players,” Markevych once said. “We’re ready to buy any such player, but there aren’t any. And when there are in some teams, they are not for sale.” It is a problem that goes back to the collapse of the Soviet Union when there was little money to finance sport programs. The shortfall was made up by foreign players and only in recent years has this been rectified.

In the transfer window – which is still open for Ukrainian clubs – Metalist have lost their best player, Taison, who joined Shakhtar for €15 million. Cleiton Xavier and captain José Sosa are the team’s leaders now. The only arrivals have been Jajá, a Brazilian forward back for a second spell with the club where he scored 30 goals in 61 matches; goalkeeper Bohdan Shust from Shakhtar and Vorskla Poltava’s defensive midfielder Oleh Krasnoperov.

Taison left Kharkiv for Donetsk in the January transfer window

It is probably the hardest part of Markevych’s job. He is currently the best Ukrainian manager; an experienced coach who is also erudite and artistic, as reflected in his side’s football, and few would disagree Metalist are one of the most entertaining and attacking teams in Ukraine. Markevych prefers a 4-2-3-1 formation and looks to hit the opposition quickly on the break. Taison, with his pace and dribbling was a key figure on the left, but he tended to drift inside which would leave space for the fullback Fininho to exploit. Likewise, Marlos on the opposite flank compliments right-back Christian Villagra’s forward runs.

The centre of the defence, with Papa Gueye and Marco Torsiglieri, is solid enough. Goals at the other end generally haven’t been a problem either, only Shakhtar have scored more than Metalist domestically. Striker Jonathan Cristaldo has scored 11 goals and behind him in the central support role is Cleiton Xavier orchestrating the attack. Aside from netting 12 times himself, he and the roaming wide players have provided the bulk of assists this season.

One possible concern for Markevych may be fitness. Ukrainian football went on its winter break in December and doesn’t return until March. Yet this period isn't treated as the chance for a prolonged rest like the summer. Aside from the 1-1 draw with Whitley Bay that helped Metalist acclimatise to the North East of England, the club have been away at various training camps in sunnier climes involving several exhibition matches that saw them beat the likes of Shakhtar and CSKA Moscow.

Both will see the tie as winnable. Metalist don’t have a game this weekend, but then neither do Newcastle, so Pardew has the opportunity to field a full-strength side this evening. That’s probably just as well. He won’t relish a 3,200-mile roundtrip for the second leg just a few days before a crucial Premier League game against an improving Southampton.

Probable Metalist XI: Olexandr Goryainov; Cristian Villagra, Papa Gueye, Marco Torsiglieri, Fininho; Edmar, Chaco Torres, Marlos, Cleiton Xavier, José Sosa; Jonathan Cristaldo.

Shakhtar make spectacular progress since Champions League debut - on and off the pitch

2013-02-13T09:00:00Z

“Frankly,” Arsène Wenger bluntly conceded afterwards, “they were not keen to go.”

When the moneymen at UEFA first concocted a plan to expand the Champions League, it is perhaps safe to assume that the likes of Shakhtar Donetsk didn’t really feature in their grand vision for a new-look tournament. At least, not the Shakhtar Donetsk of 2000.

In those days, the Pitmen’s billionaire owner Rinat Akhmetov had only really just begun to see his investment bear fruit. The palatial Donbass Arena and squad brimming with exciting Brazilian talent awaiting Borussia Dortmund in this week's Last 16 clash are a far cry from the club Arsenal came up against 13 years ago, when the Ukrainians were making their debut in the Champions League.

No British side had ever visited Donetsk before. It was November 7 and matchday six of an enlarged competition that for the second season featured 32 teams and two group stages, although this had been the first with two Ukrainian representatives. Shakhtar, however, had to battle through qualifiers against Levadia Maardu and Slavia Prague. The Gunners had already wrapped up top spot in Group B ahead of Sven-Göran Eriksson’s Lazio and made the arduous 3,500-mile roundtrip to what Britain’s press were calling a “former Soviet backwater” on a bitterly cold and windy evening.

It is little wonder that Arsenal’s squad of pampered millionaires were less than enthused about playing at the decrepit Shakhtyor Stadium. And things would hardly have been helped by defender Oleh Luzhny, signed from Dynamo Kyiv the previous summer, filling their heads with horror stories, either.

No place like home: The old Shakhtyor Stadium

Donetsk was a very different city to the one that hosted the European championships last summer. During Soviet times, military hardware had been manufactured there and, as such, it had been closed to foreigners, so there was very little in the way of tourist infrastructure. Even today, Donetsk isn’t really a place that receives too many overseas visitors. “At that time, the region still felt as far removed from western Europe as is possible,” said the BBC’s Steve Wilson, who was covering the game. “There were two hotels in Donetsk: one was terrible and the other was worse.”

But, just like the football team, local businessmen have been investing in Donetsk and these days the “city of a million roses” is hardly the horror trip that some sections of the media made it out to be. Arsenal were certainly taking no chances though, even if Unesco did once give Donetsk an award for its cleanliness. The club took with them not only their own food, soap, toilet paper, shampoo, towels and bedding, but also a couple of cleaners to give the hotel a once-over and even chefs, who prepared meals on kitchen foil. The travelling press weren't so lucky. Amid reports of a bedbug problem, in their suitcases were sleeping bags.

Ray Parlour commented that “the water coming out of the taps was all yellow”, while Lee Dixon hardly painted a picture of paradise. “There was a rat in the hotel, and there was blood on the walls of my room,” he told the Independent. “There was no heating, so we had to sleep in our tracksuits, and we had hairnets on in case of lice, even though we brought all our own bedding, including pillowcases. My bed was filthy so I slept on the floor, in my hairnet and bobble hat, and woke up with a terribly stiff neck. The stadium was unreal, a huge open place with a chemical plant behind it spewing yellow, sulphurous smoke. You couldn't make it up. It was the most horrendous trip I had ever been on.”

It is all very different now. Five-star accommodation, like the Donbass Palace with its bars, casino and restaurants, or the Victoria that has televisions attached to all of the treadmills in its gym, will set visitors back a pretty penny today.

The then stadium, nestled in Shcherbakova Park with a backdrop of slagheaps is symbolic of a different era. It would be another season before Shakhtar won the first of seven titles since Akhmetov assumed the presidency in 1996 after his predecessor, Oleksandr Bragin, was assassinated in a bombing during a match against Tavriya Simferopol the previous year. Akhmetov himself had only missed the blast thanks to traffic.

With a 13-point lead over Juande Ramos’ Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk this season, Shakhtar will almost certainly be crowned champions for an eighth time, and even those in Kyiv must now concede that they are the league’s best side. Initially somewhat reluctant as an owner, the country’s richest man fell in love with the club and his arrival begun a new chapter, not just for Shakhtar, but for Ukrainian football.

The Donbass Arena - it's bigger, that's for sure...

In 1999 a new youth academy was opened, in addition to one of Europe’s best training centres. In the same year, while attending a match at the Stade de France, Akhmetov decided that he’d quite like something similar in his hometown, and the seed for the 52,000-capacity Donbass Arena was sown. The Shakhtyor Stadium had been upgraded in anticipation of their maiden Champions League campaign, but it was still a crumbling concrete arena largely exposed to the elements. It is little wonder that Wenger’s players were not keen on travelling to Donetsk. Neither were their supporters. Fewer than 50 diehard Gooners were among the sell-out 32,000 crowd who had paid the princely sum of £2 for a ticket.

Arsenal, second in the Premier League, were unbeaten since an opening day defeat to Sunderland, save for a second string side defeated 2-1 by Ipswich Town in the Worthington Cup at the beginning of the month. Wenger resisted the urge to field such a weakened XI though. Instead, only David Seaman was replaced by the promising Stuart Taylor, in addition to youngsters Matthew Upson and Ashley Cole coming into defence. Nelson Vivas was given the role of midfielder destroyer in place of Patrick Vieira, who was probably quite grateful to be left at home. Surprisingly, just five wore gloves, although perhaps all of them would have fancied a shot or two of vodka beforehand that Wenger had joked would keep them warm.

These were the days before Shakhtar did their shopping in South America and the late Prokopenko, a skilled and ebullient coach, led a young side of Ukrainians and eastern Europeans, save for the Nigerian defender Isaac Okoronkwo, who would later play for Wolverhampton Wanderers. It may have been a dead-rubber for Arsenal, but Shakhtar had all to play for, knowing that if they bettered Sparta Prague’s result against Lazio, then it would be them and not the Czechs who would finish third to qualify for the UEFA Cup.

Prokopenko’s sides were renowned for their entertaining, attacking football, and Shakhtar took the game to Arsenal in the early stages. But it was 20 minutes before the home side tested Taylor, who Kevin Keegan had recently called up to train with the senior England team. Sylvain Wiltord thought he’d given Arsenal the lead on the half-hour mark in a rare counterattack, only for his effort to perhaps harshly be ruled out for offside. Shakhtar were dominating possession though, and soon enough they took the lead.

Five minutes later Martin Keown, hero of their first encounter whose late, two-goal salvo gave Arsenal a 3-2 victory at Highbury, slipped while attempting to deal with Anatoliy Tymoshchuk’s hopeful punt up field - Serhiy Atelkin promptly brought the ball down and fired in off the post. The stadium erupted. Shakhtar had lost 3-0 to Lazio on their debut and only narrowly defeated Sparta, so the Mexican waves were perhaps understandable. Arsenal hadn't lost any of their previous five group games though and almost levelled before half-time through Thierry Henry, who had yet to get off the mark in Europe that season.

Vivas had been unconvincing as Vieira’s stand-in and it was the Argentinean’s foul on substitute Olexiy Bielik just outside the Arsenal box that gave Shakhtar a second goal on 57 minutes. Andriy Vorobey curled the resultant free-kick over the wall and past Taylor to double their lead. Keown was again at fault when Bielik volleyed in a third nine minutes later. “Shakhtar were very sharp and showed Champions League quality,” admitted Wenger. “They are a good side but we lacked mental sharpness.”

It was perhaps a slightly flattering scoreline (and Arsenal’s joint-highest away European defeat) but with Lazio beating Sparta, Shakhtar earned a place in the UEFA Cup. Ultimately, it would be a disappointing, and brief, campaign that ended with a 1-0 aggregate defeat to Celta de Vigo in the third round. Defeat was the start of a four-match winless streak for Arsenal that didn’t even yield a league goal. They were also thrashed 4-1 by Spartak Moscow on matchday one of the second group stage. Eventually Arsenal finished second behind Bayern Munich, only to lose on away goals to Valencia in the quarterfinals.

For Shakhtar, then the bottom-ranked team in the competition, that year it felt as though they had arrived. The following season Nevio Scala, Shakhtar’s first foreign coach who replaced Prokopenko, fine-tuned his predecessor’s side to win a first league title without losing a single game. Dynamo’s nine-year hegemony was over.

The 2012/13 campaign was Shakhtar’s eighth appearance in the group stages, and second in which they had qualified for the knockout rounds. They actually faced Dortmund the following year. The Germans won their third-round qualifier 5-1 on aggregate, but much has changed – both on and off the field since then – and Jürgen Klopp’s side will face a club now 12th in Europe that has made giant strides since the turn of the century.

Shakhtar Donetsk 3-0 Arsenal, 7 November 2000.
Shakhtar Donetsk Yuriy Virt; Mykhaylo Starostyak, Isaac Okoronkwo, Serhiy Popov, Dainius Gleveckas; Hennadiy Zubov, Anatoliy Tymoshchuk, Aleksei
Bakharev, Vitaly Abramov (Marian Aliuţă 78’); Serhiy Atelkin (Olexiy Bielik 52’), Andriy Vorobey (Marian Savu 86’).
Goals: Serhiy Atelkin 35’, Andriy Vorobey 57’, Olexiy Bielik 66’.
Arsenal Stuart Taylor; Lee Dixon, Martin Keown, Matthew Upson, Ashley Cole; Ray Parlour (Paolo Vernazza 72’), Nwankwo Kanu, Nelson Vivas, Lauren; Sylvain Wiltord, Thierry Henry (Freddie Ljungberg 62’).

Forget Anzhi and Shakhtar - meet Eastern Europe's first hoarders of Brazilians

2013-02-06T16:00:00Z

The first foreign player in post-Soviet Russian football was Assaf al-Khalifa, a 26-year-old Syrian forward who joined Zhemchuzhina Sochi ahead of the 1994 season.

Before him there were, of course, those from the other former Soviet republics – or the “near abroad” – but Al-Khalifa is considered to be the championship’s first real overseas import. His arrival caused a minor stir at the time; he was even voted “rookie of the year” by authoritative newspaper Sport-Express.

These days, foreign players, or “legionnaires” to use Russian football parlance, are the norm. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Brazil provides the most, with Willian set the 27th having moved from Shakhtar Donetsk to Anzhi Makhachkala during the January transfer window. There are also another three in the second tier. When Al-Khalifa made his debut he was just one of 36 non-Russians – the others were mainly Ukrainian and Belarusian – but gradually the numbers, and nationalities, have risen.

The first Brazilians arrived a year after Al-Khalifa, when Lokomotiv Nizhny Novgorod signed midfielder Andre Luis da Silva and Mario dos Santos Júnior, a striker, at the beginning of 1995. Interest in Valeri Ovchinnikov’s side soared.

Da Silva had the distinction of scoring the first goal by a Brazilian on his debut, but neither player was able to establish himself at Lokomotiv and the pair each made just six further appearances before leaving Russia.

In those early seasons foreign players tended to be little more than novelties; having a Brazilian was mainly about prestige. One of the first Brazilians who really made an impression was Edi Carlos Dias Marçal, an attacker Arsenal Tula signed from Santos with the nickname “Andradina” on account of his home town in São Paulo state.

Now a grizzled veteran still knocking about the Polish championship at 38, Andradina’s arrival in 1998 was a corollary of the ambitious plans mapped out by the Gunners’ owners, Centrgaz, whose general director Viktor Sokolov aspired to create a strong team. Back then, Arsenal were languishing in Russia’s regionalised third tier.

But a concerted effort was made to have a competitive club in Tula, a city of 500,000 some 120 miles south of Moscow perhaps best known for being the site of Peter the Great’s arms factor during the 18th century, or for its gingerbread and samovars.

Certainly Tula wasn't synonymous with football. Centrgaz upgraded Arsenal’s training base though and brought their 20,000-capacity stadium up to Uefa standards – the Russian national team would later play a friendly against Belarus there – plus the highly-respected Ukrainian coach Yevhen Kucherevskyi, who won the Soviet championship with Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk in the 80s, was appointed manager for the 1997 season.

The playing staff received something of an overhaul too, and it was in Brazil that the club’s hierarchy looked for reinforcements. Half a dozen players arrived on trial, but Kucherevskyi signed just three: Anderson, Junior and Nene.

The latter two made little lasting impression, appearing 11 and five times respectively. Anderson, a striker, did however and netted 17 times as they won the Western Zone title by 15 points. No team scored more than Arsenal that season (a club record 91 goals) nor conceded fewer (27). What’s more, they also reached the last 16 of the cup.

But it was the league that Arsenal’s board were more concerned with and, despite having never played in Russia’s second tier since the fragmentation of the USSR, they set Kucherevskyi the target of back-to-back promotions.

Once again the club sought reinforcements in South America. They sent Kucherevskyi off to Brazil on a three-week tour with a budget for five players where he took in games at various levels, watched several clubs train and even chewed the fat with Vanderlei Luxemburgo.

Deals were agreed with a quintet of new signings. However, by time Kucherevskyi got home the board had not only bought his five players, but also an additional four of their own. More sensible arrivals like the Spartak Moscow defender Ramiz Mamedov (who later became the first Arsenal player to be called up by the Russian national team) and Dmitri Kuznetsov from CSKA underlined the club’s searing ambition.

And so it was that Anderson was joined by Andradina – who once rejected an offer from CSKA, having just signed a new contract with Santos – and eight of his fellow countrymen to play for a second-tier club in a provincial Russian town: Carlos Alberto da Rocha (previously with Torpedo Moscow), Daniel Conceição Silva (he never played in Brazil’s top flight but arrived via Japan and became indispensible for Arsenal), Eleal Dos Santos Enrique (played alongside Rai, Leonardo and Cafu, and won the league in 1991), Jorginho Jorge Claudio Conceição Rodrigues (Corinthians), Leonidas Ferreira de Paulo Junior (a midfielder previously at CSKA and Torpedo), Paulinho Faustino Paulo Henrique (signed from Palmeiras), Peniche Everton Romuald (another Corinthians player who once had trials with Barcelona and Deportivo La Coruña) and Tonja Antonio Goncalves da Costa (the most famous of the Brazilians who spent five years at Palmeiras).

Arsenal became the talk of Russian football. Both home and away crowds flocked to catch a glimpse of their exotic imports, hoping to maybe see the next Pelé, and Arsenal’s average attendance that year exceeded 10,000, the highest in the division. Initially results were good and the football entertaining. Arsenal didn’t lose any of their first five matches and, although Lokomotiv St Petersburg ended a 53-game unbeaten home record, at the season’s halfway point they found themselves in fourth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=JXBlFMRJi1s

Andradina was a key figure. A five-match ban for striking an opponent during a fixture against Kristill Smolensk blotted his copybook somewhat, but he scored 27 goals to finish as the league’s leading marksman.

Injuries certainly hampered Arsenal, while the Brazilians were predictably a mixed bunch. Anderson failed to replicate his form of the previous year and was farmed out to Uzbekistan’s Pakhtakor Tashkent on loan, Eleal made only nine appearances, Leonidas was injury-prone and Paulinho managed just one goal in 12 games.

The season ended with Arsenal fifth and reaching the quarterfinals of the cup – it was their best-ever campaign – but they were also 12 points off the promotion places.

Five of their Brazilians left, just one arrived: Leandro Samaroni, a defender previously with CSKA, Spartak and Torpedo, who learned the language and would later go on to represent another three Russian sides. Once again, Arsenal were among the favourites for the title and they made a strong start, but failed to really beat any of their rivals.

More importantly, a crisis was brewing. As the year rumbled on, the club began experiencing financial problems. At one stage it seemed as though Arsenal wouldn't even finish the season and Kucherevskyi saw his resignation rejected three times before finally leaving the club, having worked unpaid towards the end of his tenure.

The whole affair had a profound effect on him. One of the best Ukrainian coaches of his generation, Kucherevskyi grew tired of working with foreign players and came to distrust them. When he later returned to Dnipro he built his side around Ukrainians, or at least those from the Soviet bloc. Tragically, Kucherevskyi was killed in a car crash on his way to a reserve team game in the summer of 2006.

Another Ukrainian coach, Leonid Buryak, replaced him at Arsenal in 1999, but was unable to bring about a change in fortunes and his stay was brief. By that time the first team had been depleted to just 13 players as Arsenal slumped to ninth. The squad underwent something of a revamp the following year – just three from the previous campaign remained – as promotion hopes were forgotten and they finished in midtable once again. A year later Arsenal were relegated.

They returned to the second tier, albeit briefly, before suffering financial problems once again and eventually ceased to exist. These days there are no Brazilians, or indeed any other foreign players at the current Arsenal – just a pair of Andradina’s old boots in the museum – but there is hope. The team are led by Dmitri Alenichev, a former Spartak and Lokomotiv Moscow midfielder who played in Italy and was part of José Mourinho’s Porto squad that won the Uefa Cup and Champions League.

When the third tier returns from its winter hibernation, Arsenal will begin the second half of the season sitting five points clear atop the Central Zone and on an 18-match unbeaten run, having not lost since the opening day.

The Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia and the European Cup Winners’ Cup

2012-11-29T12:38:00Z

With the Inter-Cities Fairs Cup yet to fall under Uefa’s auspices, a side from the eastern bloc had still to win a major European trophy when the governing body made the draws for their club competitions for the coming season in July 1968. And that didn’t really seem like changing during the season ahead, either; not with the Soviet-led invasion of Czechoslovakia in August and the repercussions it had for football.

The year began with Alexander Dubček succeeding Antonín Novotný as head of the communist party in Czechoslovakia. He set the country on a new course through a series of liberal reforms known as the Prague Spring that sought to remove the regime’s totalitarian aspects and, as Dubček put it, create “socialism with a human face”. Naturally, the Kremlin became anxious. Generously-eyebrowed Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev feared just where it would end and what the possible ramifications may be, not only in Czechoslovakia but throughout the eastern bloc.

On the eve of 21 August the Warsaw Pact launched a huge ground invasion. Dubček was arrested and flown to Moscow, his reforms annulled. A period of “normalisation” followed and eventually Dubček was removed from office and replaced by Soviet lackey Gustáv Husák. The military intervention, or “assistance” to fight "counterrevolutionary forces" as Moscow interpreted it, had been met with widespread condemnation around the globe but, just like Hungary 12 years earlier and East Germany in 1953, the West took little direct action.

Prague residents attempt to stop a Soviet tank during the invasion of 1968

A protest of sorts came through football. Western European clubs threatened to boycott ties against sides from behind the Iron Curtain. It was actually a Belgian initiative, despite none of their teams actually due to face communist opposition. Uefa panicked. They convened for an emergency meeting 10 days after the invasion, albeit without Sándor Barcs, Uefa’s vice-president and the chairman for the Organising Committee of the European Cup Winners’ Cup, and decided to initially keep east and west apart in the opening rounds. Their competitions were hastily re-drawn along regional lines.

This enraged the communist nations. Soviet football authorities called Uefa’s decision “unsavoury”, deeming it “nothing but an attempt to drag reactionary political tendencies into international sport”. Their statement added: “the Football Federation of the USSR places all responsibility for the consequences of the disgraceful Uefa decision on those politicians and sports businessmen who replace the principles of sporting cooperation by sinister machinations.”

They followed the lead of Bulgaria, East Germany, Hungary and Poland – the other Warsaw Pact countries involved in the invasion – by withdrawing their clubs from Europe’s club competitions. Albania, Romania and Yugoslavia, all of whom did not send troops to Czechoslovakia, kept their sides in; Albania also left the Warsaw Pact in protest. And so it was that Dynamo Kyiv from the Soviet Union, East Germany’s Carl Zeiss Jena, Ruch Chorzów of Poland, Bulgarian club Levski Sofia and Ferencvárosi of Hungary all boycotted the European Cup; in the European Cup Winners’ Cup, Dinamo Moscow (USSR), Union Berlin from East Germany, Górnik Zabrze of Poland, Bulgarians Spartak Sofia and Győri (Hungary) also refused to play.

The corollary was a series of byes and, after West Bromwich Albion defeated Dinamo Bucharest 5-1 on aggregate in the second round of the European Cup Winners’ Cup, only two clubs from the eastern bloc remained: both from Czechoslovakia. Spartak Trnava fell to Ajax Amsterdam in the European Cup semi-finals, but their European Cup Winners’ Cup representatives, Slovan Bratislava, went one better. Michal Vičan’s side overcame Yugoslavians FK Bor in the first round, and then beat Porto, Torino and Dunfermline Athletic on their way to the final against Barcelona in Switzerland.

What with the majority of socialist sides withdrawing, Barça started the tournament as favourites, but they fell behind after just two minutes to Ľudovít Cvetler’s goal. José Antonio Zaldúa drew Barcelona level 14 minutes later though with a strike that sparked Salvador Artigas’ team into life. Vladimír Hrivnák and Jan Čapkovič added goals for Slovan before half-time though to put them in control.

Barcelona rallied after the interval. Carlos Rexach scored direct from a corner after Slovan’s goalkeeper Alexander Vencel misjudged the flight of the ball on 55 minutes – he claimed to have been dazzled by the floodlights - and then Barça began to turn the screw. They were unable to convert their dominance into goals, however, and Slovan hung on for a famous victory.

Commanding centre-back Alexander Horváth lifted the trophy on the St. Jakob-Park pitch in Basle surrounded by jubilant fans who had been given a rare moment of elation amid the political turmoil at home. Earlier that year, student Jan Palach set himself on fire and died in Prague’s Wenceslas Square as a sign of protest against the Warsaw Pact troops’ occupation. Dubček’s replacement, Husák, towed the party line and Czechoslovakia became a repressive police state.

Husák remained in power until 1987, when it became clear that the people favoured a move towards the reforms of Mikhail Gorbachev in the USSR and he had no longer had a mandate to rule. Under Husák it was arguably one of the darkest periods in Czechoslovakia’s history. Communism had begun to disintegrate though as the pro-democracy movement grew, and by 1991 the “Velvet Revolution” was completed when Václav Havel, a jailed dissident playwright, became president; Dubček returned to the political fold as chairman of the Federal Assembly. Two years later a "velvet divorce" saw the country split into the Czech Republic and Slovakia.

Britain’s first Soviet footballer: When Serhiy Baltacha swapped the Eastern Bloc for East Anglia

2012-11-27T10:44:00Z

The Soviet figure skating team had to fight though a media scrum in the arrivals hall at Heathrow Airport. But Britain’s press had not gathered for their benefit. It was January 1989, and also on the flight from Moscow that day was Serhiy Baltacha, a classy sweeper ready to take a step into unknown with Ipswich Town. No Soviet footballer had ever played for an English side before; the communist party didn’t allow them to move overseas back then. But against a backdrop of glasnost and perestroika, change was in the air, and it had been decided that a select few should have their achievements rewarded with a transfer abroad.

One such player was Baltacha. He had been the defensive lynchpin of Valeriy Lobanovskiy’s Dynamo Kyiv side for a little over a decade. Hailing from Zhdanov (now Mariupil), an industrial city on the Sea of Azov in south-eastern Ukraine, Baltacha read the game superbly and never seemed to find himself out of position. From a young age he made that position his own at Dynamo – then one of Europe’s strongest sides – and will arguably be ranked among the club’s best ever players. He made 322 appearances for Bilo-Syni (the White-Blues) between 1977 and 1988, winning the league four times, also lifting two Soviet cups and the European Cup Winners’ Cup in 1986. Baltacha was also capped 45 times by the USSR, the last of which came in the final of the 1988 European Championship.

Ipswich, then playing in Division Two, had contacted Goskomsport (the Sport Committee of the USSR) that summer and were given a list of around half a dozen or so players available for transfer. They opted for Baltacha, who chose the Tractor Boys ahead of Swiss side Neuchatel Xamax, mainly because he wanted to test himself in England. But it still took several days for a deal to be thrashed out.

“The chairman at the time, Patrick Cobbold, sent me, as a young director, to Moscow with the manager, John Duncan, to complete the deal,” recalled David Sheepshanks, who went on to spend 14 years as Ipswich chairman. “I went into the headquarters of their FA and Serhiy was marched in. I asked if we could complete the deal. ‘What deal?’ they said. We then went for a six-hour lunch where we drank vast quantities of vodka and with the help of an interpreter we got things done.” There were one or two caveats to his transfer, however. Baltacha couldn’t, for example, earn more than the Soviet ambassador to Britain.

Baltacha was capped 45 times by the Soviet Union, scoring twice

It was in mid-January that a 30-year-old Baltacha came to these shores. Strictly speaking, he was not the first Ukrainian player in England. Shortly after the Second World War a striker, Adam Wolanin from Lviv (when western Ukraine belonged to Poland and Lviv was Lwów), had briefly been with Blackpool, but never appeared for the first team. In 1947 goalkeeper Pavel Sidelnyk played at amateur level in Nottingham and occasionally someone with Ukrainian heritage, such as Coventry City’s Peter Hormantschuk, cropped up in the Football League, but it was Baltacha who became the first Soviet (and Ukrainian) footballer to play professionally in the UK.

“Are you a communist or not?” asked the first reporter when Ipswich presented their new signing to the media, much to the disgust of Duncan. The Cold War was hardly at its peak in 1989 of course, yet the Scot was eager to keep football and politics separate. Not that Baltacha was able to understand the question. He came to England armed with just two phrases: the first, “fasten seatbelts” had been mastered on the flight from Moscow and “no problem”, which soon earned him the nickname “Serhiy No-Problem”. Ipswich provided Baltacha with a translator though and twice a week the whole family had English lessons together.

What with the Soviet league following the calendar year, Baltacha arrived in England somewhat short of match practice. The season had finished the previous October for him. But on 21 January he made his debut in a 5-1 victory against Stoke City at Portman Road, scoring his first and, indeed, only goal for the club. Another issue for Baltacha was just where he would fit into the team. After all, Ipswich, like pretty much every other English club at that time, did not employee a sweeper system and although prior to his signature they had been conceding soft goals, the partnership of John Wark and David Linighan was developing well. Duncan was also reluctant to put Baltacha at the heart of defence, on account of his limited command of the English language and he often found himself out of position at right-back or deployed as a defensive midfielder.

The defender challenges for a header during his Ipswich debut against Stoke

Going from that distinct style at Dynamo of the late and great Lobanovskiy to England’s kick-and-rush game also proved problematic for Baltacha, who once joked that all those high balls left him with a sore neck rather than sore legs after matches. In his first season he played 20 times as Ipswich finished eighth. “Before I came of course,” Baltacha once said, “my impression of a typical Englishman, I must say, was that they all wore top hats and carried umbrellas, were very straight-laced, never smiled.” Off the pitch, though, he and his family settled into life very well. As a Soviet footballer Baltacha was awarded certain privileges such as a car and holiday home, but the move saw real tangible benefits for his family.

Being a footballer in England was very different to back home. Soviet teams prepared for matches in isolation for a couple of days at a training base, and then of course you have to factor in the vast distances travelling to and from matches, so he got to spend more time with his young family. There were shortages in Kyiv at that time and the average weekly wage was just £70 per week. As part of the club’s preparations for the new season Ipswich went to Kyiv, but Baltacha would only play eight times that campaign. Throughout his time in England he was dogged by injury. His last two seasons with Dynamo had also been blighted by problems after rupturing his Achilles tendon in the final of the Cup Winners’ Cup and Baltacha missed the 1986 World Cup. He was only a substitute during the European Championships two years later.

Despite settling well in Ipswich, what Baltacha really yearned for was to be back playing in his natural position as a sweeper. He had considered returning home. Instead, Baltacha instructed his agent to find him a new club that played such a system. The only option was newly-promoted Scottish First Division side St Johnstone, whom he joined on a free transfer in 1990. To sign a player with the pedigree of Baltacha was a real coup for them. Alex Totten’s side were relatively inexperienced at the back but, after a slow start, he really began to marshal the Saints’ defence and soon became a popular figure at McDiarmid Park. Baltacha enjoyed three happy years in Perth where he made 90 appearances, before becoming player-manager of Inverness Caledonian Thistle.

He then spent a few seasons as assistant manager at CSCA-Borysfen Kyiv in his native Ukraine, before making a return to Scotland, where Baltacha took up coaching positions with the Scottish Football Association and, later, St Mirren; he was also briefly at Charlton Athletic. Baltacha now works as head coach at Bacon’s College in London. His son, also called Serhiy, like him, became a professional footballer (he won five under-21 caps for Scotland and Arsène Wenger had wanted to take him from St Mirren to Arsenal at one point), while his daughter, Elena, represents Britain at tennis and is currently ranked 175th in the WTA Women’s rankings.

FEATURE Flowers, fog and Orwell: How Dinamo Moscow conquered Britain

Flowers, fog and George Orwell: How Dinamo Moscow conquered war-weary Britain

2012-11-15T11:15:00Z

It is a grey November morning in 1945, and an aeroplane emblazoned with the communist red star touches down on the tarmac at Croydon Airport. On board are Dinamo Moscow, here by invitation of the Football Association to partake in a month-long tour celebrating the game’s return after World War Two.

These were the days before regular European competition; Uefa would not come into existence for another nine years. No Russian side had ever visited Britain before and, despite the two countries technically still being allies with the Cold War yet to begin, the communist party were initially wary of allowing a football team to visit the West. But after much persuasion they came to see the political value of a successful tour.

Things did not begin smoothly, however. Dinamo received a distinctly low-key welcome – they were particularly irked at not being greeted by the Soviet flag – and although their trip caused great interest among a war-weary public, the same was hardly true of London’s hoteliers. Many could not or, in some instances, would not put up the 40-strong party. After passing on some pretty uninviting army barracks they spent the first night at the Soviet embassy. Immediately there was talk of a return to Moscow. Only on the third day did the FA’s secretary Stanley Rous find suitable accommodation, but the whole affair soured an already strained relationship.

Dinamo had only agreed to the tour after submitting an exhaustive 14-point list of demands to a bemused FA. These diva-like wishes ranged from facing Arsenal (“to come to London and not play Arsenal would be like visiting Cairo without seeing the pyramids” commented Dinamo’s coach Mikhail Yakushin) and permitting substitutions during matches, to taking all of their meals at the embassy and making 600 tickets available to Soviet citizens living in Britain. The FA agreed to all of them, save for two: games would not necessarily be held on a Saturday, nor just once a week.

Fans were keen to catch a glimpse of Dinamo - particularly at Stamford Bridge

Aside from Arsenal, the line-up was completed by Chelsea, Cardiff City and Rangers. That year Dinamo won the Soviet championship playing an attacking 4-2-4 formation, winning 19 of their 22 matches – including 17 in a row – and scoring 73 times. The invitation caught Dinamo on the hop somewhat though, mainly because the Soviet season followed the calendar year and had finished in October. It meant a premature return for the players, who were forced to clear the snow at their training base before preparing themselves. Yakushin also padded out his squad with Vsevolod Bobrov, the league’s top scorer with 24 goals for runners-up CDKA Moscow, and Dinamo Leningrad pair Yevgeniy Arkhangelskiy and Boris Oreshkin.

The British press had, for the most part, written Dinamo off. “They are not nearly good enough to play our class of professional teams,” said the Sunday Express. “Do not expect much from this bunch of factory workers.” Despite this, for Dinamo’s inaugural fixture against Chelsea on 13 November some estimates put the crowd at Stamford Bridge past the 100,000 mark. These exotic visitors wowed them with an organised warm-up in tracksuits beforehand, both of which were unheard of in Britain at the time. Quite what the Chelsea squad thought when presented with bouquets of flowers at kick-off is another matter.

Dinamo - and their flowers - take to the pitch against Chelsea

The home side, strengthened by the recent signings of Tommy Lawton - then one of the best English forwards around - plus Len Goulden and Johnny Harris, led 2-0 at half-time, but Dinamo were zipping the ball about nicely, playing a distinct quick, fluid style. Lawton noted that "it was brilliant teamwork, speed and ball control. To be honest, the Russians should have been four goals ahead after only 20 minutes except for their poor shooting." They equalised with two goals of their own after the break, only for Chelsea again take the lead. But a late strike from Bobrov earned the visitors a deserved draw - they had more than passed their first test and won over many admirers.

Four days later, Cardiff found themselves on the wrong end of a 10-1 drubbing at Ninian Park in front of 60,000 fans. Notice how the Pathé news reel below describes the result as a 'shock', despite the fact Cardiff were a team of part-timers playing in the Third Division.

The penultimate match was the biggest of the tour: Arsenal, the fixture they had insisted upon. Many of Arsenal’s players were still serving in the forces overseas, leading to manager George Allison getting Stanley Matthews, Stan Mortensen and Joe Bacuzzi to “guest” for the Gunners.

As per one of their 14 demands, the game was officiated by a referee Dinamo had brought to Britain with them. They took the lead after just 30 seconds, not that many of the 55,000 crowd saw it. A thick fog enshrouded White Hart Lane where the game was played (the Ministry of Defence still occupied Highbury, which had been used as an Air Raid Precautions centre during the war). But Arsenal fought back to lead a controversial fixture 3-2 at the break. Some say it should have been cancelled, while others claim Dinamo had 12 men on the pitch at one stage after a substitution error. They equalised through an offside Sergei Soloviev and Bobrov netted the winner.

George Orwell penned his “the Sporting Spirit” essay shortly afterwards. “Now that the brief visit of the Dinamo football team has come to an end it is possible to say publicly what many thinking people were saying privately before the Dinamos ever arrived,” he wrote. “That is, that sport is an unfailing cause of ill-will, and that if such a visit as this had any effect at all on Anglo-Soviet relations, it could only be to make them slightly worse than before. Even the newspapers have been unable to conceal the fact that at least two of the four matches played led to much bad feeling. At the Arsenal match, I am told by someone who was there, a British and a Russian player came to blows and the crowd booed the referee. The Glasgow match, someone else informs me, was simply a free-for-all from the start.”

Rangers wanted to beat Dinamo, mainly for national pride and to achieve what the English had failed to do. Over 92,000 crammed inside Ibrox to see what Orwell correctly described as a physical encounter end 2-2. Aston Villa were, at the end of it all, supposed to face Dinamo. Or, at least that’s what they thought: Dinamo instead returned to London. They left Britain soon afterwards, landing in Moscow undefeated, and as heroes; several of the party were awarded the honour “Master of Sport”.

Dinamo had proved they were equal to their western European counterparts and, while it perhaps didn’t do any favours for diplomatic relations, the tour proved to be a bit of a coup for the communists – just as they had desired. And off the back it, one year later the USSR would join FIFA, beginning a new chapter in Soviet football.

Keown's hips and shopping trips: Shakhtar looking for more luck in London

2012-11-07T12:22:00Z

FourFourTwo's Eastern European football expert, Mark Gilbey, looks back upon Shakhtar’s quartet of fixtures in the English capital…

History is on Chelsea’s side when they face Shakhtar Donetsk this evening; that’s probably just as well considering how desperately Roberto Di Matteo could do with three points at Stamford Bridge.

The Pitmen have played four times in England – all against teams from London – but are yet to win in the English capital. It is also 27 matches since the Blues last lost at home in the Champions League group stages, when 10-man Beşiktaş – then led by Shakhtar manager Mircea Lucescu – beat Chelsea 2-0 during the 2003/04 season, their first of the Roman Abramovich era.

Arsenal 3-2 Shakhtar Donetsk
Champions League group stages, matchday two
20th September 2000

Arsenal supporters were in expectant mood ahead of Shakhtar’s visit. After all, the Gunners had just returned to Highbury following a couple of somewhat disappointing Champions League campaigns at Wembley, and their Ukrainian opponents arrived as the lowest-ranked team in the group stages.

The Shakhtar team that travelled to North London that day bore little resemblance to the modern side. Rinat Akhmetov’s considerable wealth had only really just begun to reshape the football landscape of eastern Ukraine. This young Shakhtar side were making their debut in the group stages, having already battled through two qualifying rounds, and the club’s first league title would not come for another couple of years. What’s more, the late Viktor Prokopenko didn’t have any Brazilian attackers to test an Arsenal backline missing the injured Tony Adams.

Instead, Ukrainian international Oleh Luzhny, signed from Dynamo Kyiv the previous May for £1.8 million, deputised alongside Martin Keown at the heart of defence. Shakhtar began with a 3-0 defeat at home to Lazio and although Sven-Göran Eriksson conceded that they “had their moments and perhaps Arsenal should be aware of that”, a comfortable win was predicted for Wenger’s players who were rumoured to be on a £9,000-a-man win bonus per march in Europe that season.

They certainly made all the early running. Thierry Henry had a goal ruled out for offside after just three minutes, and with Patrick Vieira bossing the midfield it seemed very much a case of when, not if, Arsenal would take the lead. Shakhtar, to their credit, defended resolutely and goalkeeper Yuriy Virt was in inspired form. But despite one-way traffic Shakhtar opened the scoring on 26 minutes when Aleksei Bakharev’s free-kick took a wicked deflection off Robert Pirès and wrong-footed David Seaman. Highbury was stunned, save for a small pocket of 500 noisy Ukrainians.

And it soon got better for the visitors when Andriy Vorobey doubled their lead, but the game turned on the stroke of half-time. First, Serhiy Popov clattered Vieira on a marauding run from midfield and received a second yellow card; then Mykhaylo Starostyak fouled Sylvain Wiltord in the box. Virt saved Henry’s spot-kick, but Wiltord rammed in the rebound.

Arsenal dominated after the break with an extra man, only to be continually thwarted. Just as it was starting to seem like ‘one of those nights’ for the Gunners, the Londoners pinched two late goals thanks to the most unlikely of sources. Wenger had four strikers on the pitch, but it was Keown who made the difference, bundling in a Silvinho corner with what looked like his hip to equalise, before blasting in the winner after a spot of trickery from Nwankwo Kanu. It was Arsenal’s 50th European victory in their 100th match.

By the time of the return game on matchday six, Arsenal had already qualified for the second group stage and just 50 diehard Gooners made the 3,500-mile roundtrip to Donetsk. But for Shakhtar it was far from a dead-rubber; they knew a win would see them progress to the Uefa Cup at the expense of Sparta Prague. A lively capacity crowd of 32,000 braved the elements at a Shakhtyor Stadion exposed to the elements on a bitterly cold November evening. But they wouldn't leave disappointed as goals from Atelkin, Vorobey and Olexiy Bielik gave Shakhtar a deserved 3-0 victory.

Tottenham Hotspur 1-1 Shakhtar Donetsk
Uefa Cup round of 32, second leg
26th February 2009

It would be another nine years before Shakhtar returned to England, once again, north London was the destination. Tottenham Hotspur faced an altogether different Shakhtar side though, mainly thanks to Lucescu. Akhmetov went through five managers over a seven-year period before hiring the wily Romanian in 2004, but has since given him the money and, just as importantly, the time to reshape the club.

A third-place finish in their Champions League group behind Barcelona and Sporting Lisbon saw Shakhtar parachute into the Uefa Cup, where they faced the English League Cup holders in the first knock-out round.

Like Arsenal, Spurs lost in Donetsk. Late goals from Yevhen Seleznyov and Jádson at the Olympiyskiy Stadion – the sparkling new Donbass Arena across the road had yet to be finished – put Shakhtar in control of the first leg. In both matches recently-appointed Spurs manager Harry Redknapp fielded unfamiliar line-ups; he saw the Uefa Cup as third on his list of priorities behind the upcoming Carling Cup final and the club’s battle with relegation from the Premier League. The first leg was the beginning of six games in 17 days that included Spurs’ defence of the League Cup against Manchester United less than 72 hours after Shakhtar’s visit to White Hart Lane.

Shakhtar’s Brazilians looked dangerous on the break. But Jon Obika flashed a shot wide of Andriy Pyatov’s goal that seemed to rouse Spurs, and they looked the more likely team to opening the scoring as the first half drew to a close. That pattern continued after the interval. The lively Obika and Gareth Bale both had chances and Spurs saw a penalty appeal turned down when Fernandinho appeared to foul Fraizer Campbell.

They got their reward 10 minutes into the second half. Giovani dos Santos controlled Campell’s flick-on some 40 yards out and burst forward before blasting in a fierce shot from just outside the box. It was the Mexican’s first goal since his £8.6 million transfer from Barcelona that summer. Spurs’ fringe players were acquitting themselves well and dos Santos almost levelled the tie, but just failed to connect with Gilberto’s cross.

As Spurs pushed for a second, gaps appeared at the back. With four minutes remaining Fernandinho settled the tie by coming in from the right and firing a low shot past Heurelho Gomes to give Shakhtar a 3-1 aggregate victory. It was the start of a glorious run to final which saw victories over CSKA Moscow, Marseille and arch-rivals Dynamo Kyiv.

Werder Bremen were their opponents in the final. Luiz Adriano gave Shakhtar the lead in the first half, only for Naldo to equalise and with no goals after the break, the match went to extra-time. Seven minutes into the first period Jádson’s goal settled the tie, earning Shakhtar their first piece of European silverware in the 38th and last ever Uefa Cup final.

Fulham 2-1 Shakhtar Donetsk
Europa League round of 32, first leg
18 February 2010

The embarrassing prelude to this fixture was played out a couple of days earlier at Harrods. Snooty doormen at the famous department store – then owned by Fulham chairman Mohammed al Fayed – turned away the Shakhtar squad. "The staff said that the group of customers was too big and suspicious,” said Shakhtar. “All of them were wearing similar tracksuits. The players explained that this was a football team and they had no habit of taking tuxedos to the training camp to go shopping. But those explanations were fruitless.” Both al Fayed and Harrods apologised, citing a busy store as the reason behind their staff denying the large party entry.

Shakhtar had, of course, won the Uefa Cup the previous season and started as favourites against an injury-ravaged Fulham side. Paul Konchesky, Clint Dempsey, John Pantsil, Kagisho Dikgacoi and Andrew Johnson all missed the first leg, while new signings Nicky Shorey and Stefano Okaka were cup-tied. But Roy Hodgson’s side had not lost in 12 European matches at Craven Cottage and it took them just three minutes to open the scoring. A neat passing move was finished off by Zoltán Gera – himself an injury doubt – whose low shot crept past Pyatov.

That stirred Shakhtar into action. Because of the winter break in Ukraine this was their first competitive fixture in two months, but Shakhtar soon found their rhythm. They were playing the brand of attacking football that had won them last year’s tournament and it came as no surprise when they pulled level.

Predictably, it was a goal made and scored in South America. Their Brazilian contingent – five started the match – were playing a key role, especially Jádson and Ilsinho. On 32 minutes the latter found Luiz Adriano, and the striker slipped past Aaron Hughes and then Mark Schwarzer to put the ball into an empty net. It had been nothing less than Shakhtar deserved.

After the break, however, the Cottagers were back on top, but chances were still few and far between. So it was no surprise that it took a moment of brilliance for the winner. Bobby Zamora had earned rave reviews that season, and there was a growing call for the striker to be included in Fabio Capello’s squad for the upcoming World Cup. He received Gera’s flick 25 yards from goal in the 63rd minutes and smashed in a strike off the underside of the bar to restore Fulham’s lead. It was Zamora’s 14th goal in 31 starts.

Without a competitive game that year, it seemed almost inevitable that Shakhtar would tire. Fulham could even have scored a third, but both Gera and Zamora saw headers saved by Pyatov. Lucescu threw on new signing Douglas Costa for the final quarter of an hour and the Brazilian reinvigorated the Shakhtar attack twice going close. Schwarzer also superbly denied Fernandinho late on to maintain Fulham’s lead.

“It's a big game for Fulham and we've come an awful long way,” said Hodgson. “If someone had said to me during my first season here when we were battling to stay in the Premier League that we'd beat Shakhtar in a couple of years, I'd have thought they were taking the mickey.”

A backs-to-the-wall performance at the Donbass Arena a week later saw Fulham become the first and, so far, only English club to get a result in Donetsk. Brede Hangeland’s first-half header was cancelled out by Jádson 21 minutes from time, but the Cottagers defended doggedly to earn a 1-1 draw and make the last 16. Fulham had begun their campaign in the third qualifying round against Lithuanian side Vėtra, but made it all the way to the final.

Former Romania international Lucescu has been Shakhtar boss since 2004

Arsenal 5-1 Shakhtar Donetsk
Champions League group stages, matchday three
19 October 2010

Shakhtar found themselves paired with Arsenal again a decade after that last-gasp defeat at Highbury. But rather than rank outsiders, Shakhtar came to the Emirates as a regular fixture in the Champions League; this was their sixth appearance in the group stages.

Much like Abramovich, the competition is one Akhmetov is obsessed with, mainly because Shakhtar are a big fish in a small pond domestically. It is matches like these – a level up from the Ukrainian championship – in which Shakhtar measure themselves.

The fixture also pitted Wenger against Lucescu. This was a meeting of two respected coaches who share the same ethos and get their teams playing aesthetically pleasing neat, passing football. Going into this game on matchday three, both had beaten the other two sides in the group, Braga and Partizan Belgrade. Shakhtar were yet to concede, while Arsenal had already scored nine times.

Cesc Fábregas, back after missing a month through a hamstring injury, was instrumental as Arsenal dominated the opening exchanges. Despite Pyatov having previously kept two clean sheets, it was his error on that gifted Arsenal the lead when he fumbled Samir Nasri’s corner and Alex Song bundled the ball into the back of net.

Shakhtar had won seven straight European games, but Arsenal were unbeaten at home in the Champions League for four-and-a-half years and that record didn’t really come under any serious threat. Nasri controlled Song’s cross from the right, beat Darijo Srna and fired the ball past Pyatov to double their lead just a couple of minutes before half-time.

Douglas Costa looked lively after replacing Willian at half-time. Henrik Mkhitaryan combined with Luiz Adriano shortly after the restart but Łukasz Fabiański saved his drive and from then on, Arsenal were in control. Luiz Adriano brought down Johan Djourou in the box and Fábregas converted the penalty on 60 minutes. Jack Wilshere and Marouane Chamakh soon added two more. It was a record-breaking sixth consecutive Champions League game in which the Moroccan had scored.

Arsenal fans greeted all five goals enthusiastically, but one of evening’s biggest cheer came when Eduardo replaced Luiz Adriano on 64 minutes. The 27-year-old, who suffered a badly broken leg while playing for Arsenal against Birmingham City in 2008, remains a popular figure among supporters. “Welcome home, Eduardo” read one banner. But by then the Croatian could do little to influence the outcome of the game. Eduardo had promised not to celebrate if he scored at the Emirates – and kept his word – converting a cross that even the home fans cheered with great gusto towards the end of night.

Lucescu conceded Shakhtar had “gifted” Arsenal two goals, but not for the first time complained about the officials. “I have a great experience of European matches, so I am not surprised by such refereeing,” he said of Norwegian Svein Oddvar Moen in the post-match press conference. “If the English teams are officiated by Scandinavian referees, then, of course, the referees, who share the same Anglo-Saxon culture, will be on the side of the British. Many of them even study in England.”

Lucescu said that perhaps Scandinavian referees shouldn’t take charge of matches involving English teams; he couldn’t have got more neutral than Massimo Busacca from Switzerland for the return match at the Donbass Arena a fortnight later. A 2-1 victory put Shakhtar level with Arsenal on nine points at the top of the table. They won their remaining two fixtures to top Group H and reach the knockout stages for the first time, while Arsenal finished as runners-up.

Far East and far out: Russia's remotest derby, on the Sea of Japan

2012-03-23T17:16:00Z

Much like Timbuktu, Vladivostok is one of those places whose name conjures up evocative images of some distant outpost at the world’s end.
“Vladivostok is far away,” Lenin once opined. “But it’s ours.” The Soviet Union’s founding father never gazed out upon the Pacific coast, unlike the statue of him outside the city's grandiose train station does.

Boarding the famous Rossiya from there, it would take an entire week to reach the Trans-Siberian Railway’s western terminus in Moscow, some 4,000 miles away. Even a flight between the two cities is an onerous nine-hour journey.

So understandably there were few tears shed when Luch-Energiya Vladivostok finished bottom of the Premier League table four seasons ago. Their relegation was no doubt welcomed by CSKA Moscow goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev, who a year earlier had bemoaned their very presence in the championship, declaring that instead they should join the Japanese J-League.

Luch-Energiya’s Dinamo Stadium is only 100 metres from the Sea of Japan. In fact, many of the cars you see driven on Vladivostok’s roads are right-hand vehicles shipped over from Japan, and the club's recent preparations for the league’s resumption took place in South Korea.

It isn't until the third tier that Russia’s pyramid becomes regionalised. But like Russia itself, football is overwhelmingly weighted towards the west of the country and Luch-Energiya are just one of a handful of clubs in the top two divisions located on the Asian side of the Ural Mountains.

The only other Far Eastern outfit among them are SKA-Energiya Khabarovsk. Concessions were made in an attempt to accommodate these two far-flung sides, with the league “pairing” fixtures to cut down on travelling.

That means two matches in quick succession. For example, Baltika Kaliningrad – from the Russian exclave of Kaliningrad on the Baltic Sea, around 4,500 miles west of Vladivostok – would travel out to play Luch-Energiya then a couple of days later face SKA-Energiya.

There have been talks about changing this format, however. Like the Russian Premier League, this is an elongated campaign in the First Division as it falls into line with UEFA by ditching their traditional summer calendar to adopt an “autumn-spring” system.

Despite the acting governor of Primorsky Krai – the region of which Vladivostok is the administrative capital – recently announcing that he’d like to see Luch-Energiya back in the top flight side, they and SKA-Energiya find themselves in the bottom half of the table.

(As an aside, quite how clubs like these will fare with the new schedule when temperatures plummet in Siberia and the Far East remains to be seen.)

Despite this “pairing” of fixtures, Vladivostok and Khabarovsk are hardly what you would call near neighbours. Khabarovsk, the Far East’s second-largest city after Vladivostok, is a little over 400 miles away, just a stone’s throw from the Chinese border on the Amur River. For SKA-Energiya’s fans, that means taking a 13-hour train south to Vladivostok when the pair meet on Monday.

Driving isn't recommended. Six years ago, a hardy trio of Zenit St Petersburg fans climbed into a 20-year-old Honda to drive to a league game in Vladivostok – 4,000 miles as the crow flies, more like 6,500 miles as the road wends.

Although they managed to see their club record a 2-0 win, the car died, leaving them stranded in Vladivostok. They were forced to take the train all the way back to St Petersburg, making it home just in time for Zenit’s next match the following week, whereupon the club rewarded their loyalty by presenting them with a new car. Today, the clapped-out Honda is on display in the Zenit museum.

It's not just a problem for visitors. As Luch-Energiya manager Sergei Pavlov once said during an interview with UEFA, "it takes us two days to adapt when we travel to Moscow, but when we return home it takes a whole week to get back to normal.

"It's terrible that none of the scientific recovery programs can help the team. There's no secret recipe here. This whole thing is tougher for us than for anyone else."

In spite of all these long haul flights though, neither Luch-Energiya nor SKA-Energiya have vastly different home and away records, as one might expect. Luch-Energiya in 15th are two places and five points behind SKA-Energiya.

Monday’s game will make a pleasant change for both, yet it is business as usual for Pavlov and his team the following week. They face the eye-watering trip to Kaliningrad on 1 April to play Baltika, in what is surely the longest away day anywhere in the world.

Why Shakhtar Donetsk have Welsh roots

2012-03-22T11:12:00Z

You could have been forgiven for thinking it was the opening ceremony to an Olympic Games, such was the spectacular opulence surrounding the gala event Shakhtar Donetsk held to celebrate the club’s 75th anniversary last year.

Rihanna topped the bill at May's multimillion dollar all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza that charted their history back to the days when Shakhtar started out as a workers’ side for miners from the Donbass, a fiercely proud industrial region of what is today eastern Ukraine.

These roots haven't been forgotten. The club’s crest features a pair of crossed hammers with a flame, and their very name means “miner” in Russian. Even the orange and black coloured kit is a nod to the past.

Donetsk is considered to be the unofficial capital of Donbass. When billionaire owner Rinat Akhmetov – himself the son of a coalminer – christened Shakhtar’s new stadium in 2009 he called it the Donbass Arena.

Reflected glory: the Donbass Arena

Coal has been mined in the region since 1721 and later that century iron ore was discovered, prompting the Russian Empire to look overseas to help exploit these reserves. With the promise of free coal, a cheap labour force and a considerable return on investment, one such industrialist who took them up on their offer was a Welshman, John Hughes.

The Merthyr Tydfil ironmaster quite literally put Donetsk on the map. Prior to industrialisation this barren steppe was known as “the Wild Fields”, but in 1869 Hughes paid £24,000 for the rights to build a metallurgical plant, and with him the 55-year-old brought around 70 skilled Welsh labourers.

While some left, many settled and their families travelled out to join them for a new life in the Ukraine. Donetsk, or Hughesovka as it was originally known, grew up around the plant and an expat community blossomed with schools, an Anglican church, hospital, tearooms, bathhouses and dancehalls soon built. Hughes also established Donetsk’s first fire brigade.

In time, his empire grew to include a factory producing the rails for Russia’s ever-expanding railway network and several collieries. The British workers brought with them leather footballs. Matches were soon being played in the shadow of the metal works, but it wasn't until 1911 and the creation of the Hughesovka Sports Society that things became more organised.

Big man: A statue of Hughes in Donetsk

By then, Hughes had died, leaving his four sons to inherit the business. Football had taken root in the Ukraine and regional tournaments were beginning to be held: in 1913 a Hughesovka side that included eight Britons won the Donbass Cup.

Just a year later the First World War broke out and then came the revolution that irrevocably changed the landscape in this corner of the Russian Empire. Three of the team’s British footballers are known to have fallen in battle.

When the Bolsheviks swept into power, the state assumed control of Hughesovka’s industrial works and its expat community fled. By 1924 Hughesovka became Stalino – not, as you might expect, after Josef Stalin, but the Russian word for steel: “stal”.

The game the British workers left behind didn’t disappear and it continued to be played after their departure by the Donbass miners, who founded Shakhtar in 1936 to compete in the inaugural Soviet championship later that year. Their original name was Ugolshchiki Stalino (ugolshchiki means “coalminer”).

This quickly changed again as the club was rechristened Stakhanovets Stalino in honour of the legendary Oleksiy Stakhanov, a local worker who state media reported mined an incredible 102 tonnes of coal during a single shift – 14 times the average.

Against the backdrop of Stalin’s five-year plans, Stakhanov become something of a propaganda figure as the Kremlin sought to increase productivity among the workforce and a 10-day period of “Stakhanovism” followed. Stakhanovets’ first official league match was a 4-1 defeat to Dinamo Kazan on 24 May 1936.

When Nikita Khrushchev became leader of the Soviet Union, he oversaw a policy of “de-stalinisation” aimed at removing the cult of personality Stalin had built up and in 1961. As a result, the club – and city – changed names. Stalino evolved into Donetsk, deriving its moniker from the Seversky Donets River.

As Shakhtar Donetsk, the team won the Soviet Cup four times; twice in the 1970s the Pitmen, as they are nicknamed, were runners-up of the Top League.

Their arch-rivals Dynamo Kyiv dominated after independence until Akhmetov came to power in October 1996 and ushered in a new era for the club and, indeed, Ukrainian football.

Akhmetov and coach Mircea Lucescu celebrated winning the 2009 UEFA Cup

But despite the upheaval and several changes over the years the people of Donetsk have never forgotten their city’s founding father. Several places bear his name and a statue of Hughes stands proudly on its main thoroughfare.

He isn't the only Briton to leave a lasting legacy in this corner of eastern Ukraine, though. Hughes wasn't even the first. Seventy-four years before he arrived on the banks of the Kalmius River, Scotsman Charles Gascoigne established an iron foundry just 80 miles from Donetsk, that spawned the city of Luhansk.

Madrid, meet Didier Drogba's heir: the smiling assassin who gives his all for the team

2012-03-14T17:09:00Z

As Real Madrid welcome CSKA Moscow to the Bernabeu, international football expert Michael Yokhin explains why many in West London should be watching the visiting Ivorian striker...

When asked about his most important quality as a footballer, Seydou Doumbia doesn't hesitate: “The ability to love and respect my team-mates”.

The answer befits the smiling CSKA Moscow striker, who is taking Russia – and Europe – by storm on his way to superstardom. With five Champions League goals this season, and 45 goals in all competitions during an 18-month CSKA spell, the Ivorian has exceeded even the most optimistic dreams of his employers.

Doumbia's 25 league goals (and counting) this season have made it the most prolific campaign by a foreigner in Russian history. True, the current Russian Premier League season is elongated to bring the country into line with most of UEFA, but it's not for nothing that he was voted Footballer of the Year in 2011.

A Doumbia brace in the 2-1 Russian Cup Final win over Alania Vladikavkaz gave a debut trophy to coach Leonid Slutsky, who can’t hide his delight: “We knew Seydou would score plenty of goals, but didn’t imagine there would be so many of them.”

Doumbia does everything with a smile on his face. “I am an optimist, always waiting for good things to happen in life,” he says. His acclimatisation in Russia, after moving from Young Boys Berne in summer 2010, was extremely quick, especially for a young man who was then 22 (he turned 24 on New Year's Eve).

Doumbia in familiar pose with Young Boys Berne

“He's such a positive and cheerful person that the team accepted him immediately,” admits Vasily Berezutsky, one of CSKA's veteran players. "He was on the same wavelength with us from the very first minute. His smile brings us a lot of joy." Given Doumbia’s background, such an attitude is far from obvious.

Seydou grew up in Adjame, a troubled suburb of Ivory Coast capital Abidjan, and his family was wretchedly poor. He never got presents for holidays, and more often than not didn’t even have something decent to eat. Trying to help his mother to feed his three younger brothers, Doumbia used to sell rags on the street. That’s where his luck suddenly changed at the age of 12 when he met Olivier Koutoua, president of Centre Formation d'Inter football academy.

“I told the kid that he should be at school, but he asked me to buy some handkerchiefs,” remembers Koutoua. "I had to save him." At the academy Doumbia worked harder than other kids. He would train for hours kicking the ball with both feet, and setting himself original targets, like hitting the post hundreds of times every week from different angles. He played in the second division at age 15. At 17 he was the top scorer in the country's Premier Division with 15 goals, despite representing tiny Denguele that finished ninth.

Unsurprisingly, Doumbia’s excellent start didn’t escape the watchful eyes of European scouts, and several French teams offered him a trial. But when bureaucratic problems stopped Doumbia getting a French visa, his agent suggested he tried his luck in Japan. Kashiwa Reysol badly needed a striker, Doumbia scored twice in a trial and a deal was swiftly signed.

However, the rest of his Japanese career was far from perfect. The cultural change was too huge for a 18-year-old, and the coach mistook that ever-present smile to mean that the youngster wasn’t serious enough. A loan spell at second division Tokushima Vortis didn’t work out either, and at that stage Doumbia’s career was going in the wrong direction.

It’s only symbolic that the striker’s kind character helped him out once again. Thierry Doubai, a little-known midfielder who remained a close friend from their mutual years at the academy, was playing for Young Boys in Switzerland, and he persuaded his bosses to give Seydou a chance. The Berne club paid just €150,000 for Doumbia; it would prove to be a bargain.

To start with, coach Vladimir Petkovic didn’t really believe in Doumbia. Frequently used as a second-half impact sub, the Ivorian started just five times during 2008/09, his first season in Swiss Super League. That didn’t prevent him from finding the net 20 times, finishing as the league’s top scorer and winning the Player of the Year award.

A certain starter in his second season, he responded with 30 more goals, the highest amount in Switzerland since 1988. Add 17 assists over the two seasons, and you will understand why Young Boys supporters nicknamed him The Lord.

Doumbia kept thanking the fans after every game and made sure he developed a good relationship with them, becoming their most popular player by a distance. He easily retained the Player of the Year title, but by then the Berne crowd knew he was off to pastures new: the deal that took Doumbia to Moscow had been sealed in January 2010, with the player staying to finish the season in Switzerland. CSKA president Yevgeni Giner agreed to pay €10 million for the Ivorian, meaning his value had multiplied by 77 in little more than a year.

Young Boys' profit could have been even more astonishing: Rubin Kazan offered €25 million, trying to outbid their Russian rivals. The offer was so outrageous that Young Boys president Werner Muller considered it a joke and didn’t take Rubin seriously. A few months later the Tatars paid €20 million to Hoffenheim for Brazilian playmaker Carlos Eduardo, who has been injured ever since.

Young Boys used a fifth of their Doumbia profit to sign Emmanuel Mayuka, the Zambian who celebrated winning the African Nations Cup this January – beating Ivory Coast on penalties in the final of a tournament Doumbia mostly watched from the bench.

Chased by half of Madrid: will Chelsea also be on his heels?

Doumbia is used to that role: he also fulfilled it at the 2010 World Cup, acting as understudy to the ultimate Ivorian star: Didier Drogba. The younger man's day will most certainly come sooner rather than later, but in the meantime he is happy to learn from the striker who used to be his idol.

“I always wanted to be like Drogba,” admits Doumbia, a longtime Chelsea fan who readily admits he dreams of playing at Stamford Bridge. That aspiration could well come true as early as this summer. With Drogba on his way to China (if you believe potential team-mate Nicolas Anelka), and Fernando Torres’ career in total disarray, the Blues badly need a top scorer.

Roman Abramovich’s friendship with CSKA president Yevgeni Giner is well-known: in 2009 it helped bring Yuri Zhirkov to London. Some reports in Russia even suggest Chelsea recommended CSKA sign Doumbia from Young Boys in the first place, in order to check the striker on a bigger stage before making the ultimate purchase. He was so impressive, though, that Abramovich’s team is not the only option for the Ivorian now. Andoni Zubizarreta, Barcelona’s sporting director, is rumoured to be ready with a healthy offer for the new star.

The potential buyers will get an outstanding footballer. Lethal in front of goal, Doumbia shoots well with both feet, is a good header of the ball despite being just 5ft10in, and – unlike many a striker – is very generous towards his teammates. His unique dribbling goes back to the side streets of Adjame. “I invented tricks there, and just polished them later,” he says.

In fact, even Slutsky took his time to get used to Doumbia’s style. “He often starts moves that are downright illogical,” says the CSKA coach. “He would go into defenders, putting himself into situations you just can’t get out of – but he does get out. Doumbia is a real virtuoso, able to get past players who can’t understand his intentions. His way of playing is so unusual that marking him is a very tough job”.

And he's consistent. CSKA were used to the wayward brilliancy of Vagner Love, the outrageously talented Brazilian who could score against anyone and then disappear for months. Doumbia gives his utmost effort in every game, peaking on a big occasion. During his first season in Moscow the Ivorian netted seven times in the Europa League; in this season's Champions League group stage, he averaged a goal a game.

Seydou scored twice late in the first game, saving his team a point in a 2-2 draw at Lille. He then contributed a brace in a 3-0 win over Trabzonspor, but was sent off in the return fixture in Turkey, thus sitting out when CSKA lost at home to the French champions.

On the final matchday, the Russians needed to beat Inter at San Siro and hope for a draw in the other game – and that’s exactly how it worked out. Doumbia wasn’t afraid to promise he would score against the Nerazzurri, and true to his word he netted early in the second half, with his good friend Vasily Berezutsky claiming the late winner.

Slutsky said he couldn’t believe his ears when told that Lille failed to beat Trabzonspor, thus sending CSKA into the last 16. The Russians rode their luck, but the draw wasn’t that favourable to them, setting a clash with Real Madrid. Doumbia couldn’t be happier, though. A year ago he claimed that one of his cherished dreams is to score against Los Blancos. Now he’s got a chance to fulfill it.

The first leg at the frozen synthetic pitch at Luzhniki wasn’t Doumbia’s best game, even though CSKA managed to score in injury time to draw 1-1. At Santiago Bernabeu the Ivorian can stun the world, doing no harm to his already glorious reputation. Hard-working, strong-charactered, positive, ever-smiling, friendly and extremely talented, Doumbia has the world at his feet.

Fan confrontations leave Ramos needing a strong finish to the season in Ukraine

2012-03-02T15:01:00Z

It wasn't supposed to be like this for Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk; not this season.

Ahead of his first full Premier League campaign in Ukraine, a bullish Juande Ramos had once again spoken of the club’s ambitious plans to end Shakhtar Donetsk and Dynamo Kyiv’s dominance.

Not since Chornomorets Odesa were runners-up in 1996 has any other team finished in the top two.

Even below them, Metalist Kharkiv have been bronze medallists for fives years on the bounce, but Dnipro were just four points behind Myron Markevych’s side last season and this was supposed to be when it all came together.

After all, Ramos has spent a considerable amount of money since succeeding Volodymyr Bessonov in October 2010.

With two-thirds of the season played though Dnipro are fourth and, more significantly, Metalist in third place have what is surely an insurmountable 14-point lead over them. Now, the natives are getting restless.

"Ramo$ go home", read one banner at the Dnipro Arena during a game against Tavriya Simferopol; another in Spanish compared his wages (rumoured to be €4 million a year) to those of the then Volyn Lutsk manager Vitaliy Kvartsyanyi following a surprise home defeat.

And upon returning from a 2-0 loss against Zorya Luhansk an angry group confronted him at the airport demanding he resign.

It isn't easy for a foreign coach to succeed in eastern Europe – something Ramos knows all too well from his brief period at CSKA Moscow a couple of years ago – they need to be familiar with the intricacies of the game.

But the refereeing scandals, dogovornyak (a match-fixing practice from Soviet times), oligarch rivalries and the standard of pitches are all issues to be discussed elsewhere.

Shouldering the blame

The former Sevilla and Tottenham Hotspur manager must shoulder much of the blame for Dnipro’s woes.

His constant tinkering to the starting line-up has fostered an inconsistency and rarely have they managed back-to-back wins. Ramos has cited injuries as a mitigating circumstance and, to an extent, he is correct.

Most notably, losing his captain and best central defender Andriy Rusol, who was forced to retire at the age of just 28 after failing to recover from a back problem has been a real hammer blow.

It was a position that required strengthening even before the Ukrainian international called time on his career though.

Only seven teams have a worse defensive record than Dnipro this season, but the arrival of Ondřej Mazuch from Anderlecht should help plug a back four that has conceded 25 goals in 20 matches.

Already that figure is five higher than in the whole of the previous campaign and there are still 10 rounds remaining.

One question fans will surely be asking themselves is why Eric Matoukou, a championship-winning defender with Belgian side Genk last year, was signed in the summer and then promptly farmed out to Arsenal Kyiv.

Indeed, there has been much criticism of Ramos’ dealings in the transfer market. In the past Dnipro were a club usually relying Ukrainians, or those from the former Soviet republics and eastern Europe, so in many ways his arrival denoted a new era.

With a coach of Ramos’ standing, it was hoped they would be able to attract a higher calibre of player from further afield.

It’s debatable whether there is a coherent policy in place. Ghanaian right-back Samuel Inkoom has come in for the bulk of the criticism and many would consider the €5.3 million signing from Swiss champions Basle to be the league’s worst newbie.

A dubious honour

His team-mate Giuliano surely runs him a close second for that dubious honour. A year ago Dnipro parted with a club-record €11 million for the Brazilian.

Giuliano – voted best player of the 2010 Copa Libertadores – has also been unable to adapt and the 21-year-old playmaker is yet to provide a single assist this season. With just one goal to his name, already he is being linked with a return home.

Ramos also paid a hefty sum for Metalist winger Denys Oliynyk, but his position is arguably where Dnipro’s most talented midfielder Yevhen Konoplyanka operates best from.

A quick, technically gifted player superb with the ball at his feet, England fans will soon discover at Euro 2012 that the 22-year-old is a real menace cutting in from the left on to his right foot.

Off the pitch, rumours persist about Ramos’ relationship with the club’s hierarchy. Over the winter break a friendly against Cracovia Kraków was cancelled at short notice, apparently after a clash between him and Dnipro’s general director Andriy Stetsenko. For their part, it is something they both deny.

Just last week, however, reports suggested that Ramos had issued an ultimatum to Stetsenko demanding a meeting with the club’s Swiss-based billionaire owner Ihor Kolomoisky regarding transfer policy.

On the plus side, the acquisition of Derek Boateng from Getafe, who chose Dnipro ahead of clubs in England has looked a shrewd one, with the tough-tackling Ghanaian adding some much-needed bite to the heart of midfield.

Another area Ramos has done well to fill is the void left by striker Yevhen Seleznyov. Dnipro’s top scorer in each of the last two seasons returned to his boyhood club Shakhtar over the summer, leaving many wondering where the goals would come from.

Nikola Kalinić scored just seven times in 44 Premier League appearances for Blackburn Rovers; already he has nine goals from 12 matches at Dnipro.

This weekend the league returns from its winter break, but realistically it won’t get any better than fourth this season.

Challenging Metalist for the bronze medal would have been the bare minimum expected from Dnipro, so it remains to be seen just what the outcome will be if there is no tangible sign of improvement. Just four points separate them and Metalurh Donetsk in eighth.

How Ramos could do with a convincing performance against Shakhtar at the Donbass Arena on Sunday to kick-start a strong finish.

Meet Myron Markevych’s marvellous Metalist

2012-02-17T16:28:00Z

The most eyebrow-raising midweek result was Metalist Kharkiv's dismantling of Red Bull Salzburg. Eastern Europe expert Mark Gilbey introduces the Ukrainian upstarts with a long history

It’s usually after the interval when Metalist Kharkiv have done the damage to their opponents in the Europa League this season. Ten of the Yellow-Blues’ 15 group-stage goals came during the second half of matches.

However, in Austria they put three past a stunned Red Bull Salzburg in the opening 45 minutes to all but end this last-32 tie. Ukraine’s last representatives on the European stage now seem certain of progressing to the next round.

Metalist opened the scoring after just 20 seconds when the lively Taison capitalised on a defensive mix-up and rounded goalkeeper Alexander Walke to slot the ball into the net with minimal fuss.

The gifted Brazilian put in a man-of-the-match performance last night. Taison epitomised the exciting, slick attacking brand of football Metalist are playing right now and he had a hand in both of Jonathan Cristaldo’s goals. Substitute Marko Dević completed the rout in injury time with a neat finish.

The hills are alive with the sound of Metalist celebrating

What little attention Ukrainian football receives in the UK centres chiefly around Shakhtar Donetsk and Dynamo Kyiv, but below the “big two” Metalist have made healthy inroads over the last few years in establishing themselves as a genuine third force.

The bronze medal has been theirs for five seasons on the trot now, and considering they command a 14-point lead over Juande Ramos’ Dnipropetrovsk with just 10 games remaining, that will surely be the minimum Metalist achieve in this campaign too. Four points separate them and second-placed Shakhtar, whom Metalist beat 2-1 at the Donbass Arena in October.

Progress domestically has been mirrored on the continent and this is the third time in four years that the Metalworkers, as the club’s name translates in English, have reached the knockout stages of the Europa League.

They're unbeaten in nine European matches now and in three of those Metalist have scored four times. Four more in Austria brought their total to 19 Europa League goals this season, meaning Metalist are the highest-scoring side in the competition.

Hailing from Ukraine’s second-largest city of Kharkiv, in the north-east of the country just a few miles from the Russian border, Metalist are one of the league’s oldest teams – but success only really arrived after Oleksandr Yaroslavsky assumed the presidency in 2006; during the Soviet era their only success was a domestic cup in 1988.

Policeman-turned-businessman Yaroslavsky is a dollar billionaire who has invested a tidy sum in his hometown club over the past six years. Metalist’s 41,000-capacity stadium will also host Euro 2012 games this summer. The Metalist Arena – known locally as the Spider Arena on account of its unique roof support structure – was renovated and reopened in time for Yaroslavsky’s 50th birthday in 2009; it was an event attended by Ukraine’s president and prime minister.

The other key figure central to Metalist’s success is their manager, Myron Markevych. He has spent time shadowing Fabio Capello, Carlo Ancelotti and Christophe Daum and their expertise has clearly rubbed off on him. An erudite and intelligent man fluent in several languages, Markevych is arguably the best Ukrainian coach around at the moment with over 500 Premier League matches under his belt.

The 61-year-old has Metalist playing an aesthetically pleasing, fluid style of football with more than a hint of South American flair to it, much like Shakhtar. Five Argentinians started the match in Austria with another on the bench, while Metalist also have a quintet of Brazilians on their books.

Markevych: acquisitionally open-minded

Mircea Lucescu’s transfer policy at Shakhtar is focused solely upon creative, young attacking types, but Markevych doesn’t impose such limits on himself and Argentinian centre-back Marco Torsiglieri has been an authoritative figure for Metalist this season.

One of the questions many fans were wondering was how Metalist would cope with the loss of key midfielder Denys Oliynyk (there were rumours the Ukrainian international wanted financial parity with the club’s South American contingent), who became one of Ramos’ expensive recruits at Dnipro – but José Ernesto Sosa has excelled and Cleiton Xavier looks another shrewd acquisition.

To fend off interest from Santos, the Brazilian was handed a new contract and the captain’s armband. The 28-year-old is one of the best attacking midfielders in the Premier League and his loss would have represented a serious blow.

Captain Cleiton, the Brazilian boss

This focus on South America means one criticism often levelled at Metalist is just how un-Ukrainian they are. There was speculation ahead of yesterday’s game that Markevych was going to field a team with no ethnic Ukrainians in the starting XI at all.

Premier League rules state that clubs must start with no more than seven foreign players, but three of Metalist’s Ukrainians have been naturalised and in the past when Markevych coached the national team, and the word was that Senegalese defender Papa Gueye would also be changing citizenship.

As it was, Markevych picked one Ukrainian, Kharkiv-born goalkeeper Oleksandr Goryainov, and there were another couple on the bench. He cited a lack of domestic options when recently quizzed about the subject, but for now the talk isn't of nationalities, but of trophies.

A genuine three-horse race picks up again soon when the Premier League emerges from its winter break and in Europe their adventure looks set to continue as well. It remains to be seen whether they have the ability to juggle both, but this could be a very exciting conclusion to the season for Metalist.

Two-year ban a cruel blow for Shakhtar keeper Rybka

2012-02-03T13:51:00Z

Football is still to emerge from its winter hibernation in Ukraine.

And with temperatures well below zero at the moment, it is around this time of year when many Premier League clubs head off to training camps in sunnier climes to whip themselves into shape for the second half of the season. Turkey, the United Arab Emirates and Spain are the destinations of choice for most.

Shakhtar Donetsk swapped the bleak weather of Ukraine’s industrial east for Dubai last month, and are now in Spain to participate in the unimaginatively named Copa del Sol.

The domestic season resumes in just a few weeks, but one player who isn't going to be featuring any time soon is the Pitmen’s goalkeeper, Oleksandr Rybka.

Just two days after featuring in Shakhtar’s 4-0 win away to Karpaty Lviv last November, UEFA officials turned up at the club’s Kirsha training base to perform random drug tests on 10 players, one of whom was Rybka.

Unbeknown to Shakhtar officials, the 24-year-old had taken slimming pills containing a banned diuretic, and while that in itself is not a stimulant, what it possesses is the ability to mask doping.

The hope was that Rybka would escape with just a six-month ban, but on Monday he and Shakhtar’s worst fears were realised when UEFA handed him the maximum sentence: two years.

The club will stick by Rybka, who only signed a two-year deal in the summer and soon they intend to launch an appeal.

"In the best-case scenario we want to annul this disqualification," affirmed Shakhtar’s CEO Sergiy Palkin.

"If not, we will try to shorten it as much as possible… Oleksandr said himself that he took this substance. But we consider UEFA's decision to be wrong because he took it after the game… If he took it before the game it would be different.”

UEFA have also requested that FIFA make it a global ban. As it stands, the earliest Rybka can return to action is 10 January 2014.

The punishment is a cruel blow for a player who has been something of a revelation at Shakhtar since arriving from minnows Obolon Kyiv a littler over six months ago.

Arguably Rybka was the league’s best goalkeeper last year. He’s also one of the few players to have emerged with any credit from what was a pretty disastrous Champions League campaign.

Outside of Ukraine, his transfer would barely have registered among fans, yet within the country some consider it to be a historic one for the championship.

Rybka came through the ranks at Shakhtar’s arch-rivals Dynamo Kyiv, and although he was always second fiddle to Oleksandr Shovkovskiy, the shot-stopper spent six years with his hometown club. It was a transfer that divided fans in Ukraine.

Serhiy Rebrov and Oleh Matveev may have crossed the divide in the past, but their moves were at a time when Shakhtar could hardly be considered true competitors to Dynamo in the Ukrainian championship.

Not long after signing the contract, photos of Rybka looking a little worse for wear in a Kyiv nightclub were leaked online. Although it later transpired they were taken four years ago, the episode made for an embarrassing start to life in Donetsk for Rybka, who was forced to explain himself at his new club.

To some quarters of the Shakhtar faithful, it didn’t matter that he made his way to Donetsk via Obolon, and not directly from Dynamo.

Rybka was taunted on his debut by the ultras behind his goal, but such has been his impact that Shakhtar supporters voted him as the club’s player of the year.

“I just tried to do a quality job,” he admitted. “It took some time to win the fans’ support.”

And while Rybka won over one set of supporters, it was perhaps natural there would be those in Ukraine’s capital unhappy with his move east.

After a game in Kyiv last October during which Dynamo fans had vented their disapproval, another controversial photo of Rybka appeared in the Ukrainian press; this time of him apparently making an obscene gesture to the crowd. He denies it though, claiming the image may have been Photoshopped.

In just six months, Rybka has gone from playing at the league’s smallest club to the biggest, displaying form that made the national team’s head coach Oleh Blokhin take notice.

He made his international debut for Ukraine against Estonia in October, and even saved a penalty. Rybka has won over 40 caps at various youth levels in the past and it seemed finally that he had the platform at Shakhtar to realise his potential.

Barring an injury, Shovkovskiy will be Blokhin’s number one at this summer’s European Championships that Ukraine co-host with Poland, but Rybka would almost certainly have made the 23-man squad.

Blokhin is fortunate that he can call on Andriy Pyatov, whom Rybka usurped at Shakhtar, while Spartak Moscow’s Andriy Dykan also has international experience.

Shovkovskiy turned 37 last month though and with regular first team football, Rybka will have had his eye on being the long-term successor to a goalkeeper he spent so many years as understudy to at Dynamo.

Shakhtar were prepared for a ban. Bohdan Shust was recalled from a loan spell at Illychivets Mariupil recently but UEFA enforcing the maximum sentence has come as a shock in Donetsk.

Rybka’s ban is just the latest issue for Shakhtar this year as they prepare for the defence of their Premier League title.

Putting aside the upheaval surrounding Willian’s future, his fellow Brazilian Jádson has returned home and there is also a dispute with Artem Fedetskiy at Karpaty

Plus, Lucescu has been absent during the winter break. The 66-year-old suffered several broken ribs and a lung laceration after being involved in a car crash with a tram in his native Romania last month, leaving assistant coach Alexandru Spiridon to take charge of first team affairs while he recuperates.

The return of Ilsinho has also sparked debate among fans after the Brazilian controversially walked out of the club in 2010 following a messy contract dispute

It remains to be seen just how this chaotic month will affect Shakhtar’s title chances, in what is a three-horse race this season.

Unbeaten Dynamo lead Shakhtar by a point, but Metalist Kharkiv aren’t too far behind and Myron Markevych’s side did win at the Donbass Arena earlier in the campaign. Ten rounds remain and Shakhtar still have both to play.

Their first game when things pick up again next month is against Juande Ramos’ Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk though; they are well off the pace in fourth, but the former Sevilla and Tottenham Hotspur coach will be looking for his side to finish strongly after such a disappointing campaign so far.

Amicable divorce signals the end for Russia's greatest Love of all

2012-01-27T10:30:00Z

And so, it seems, Russia’s great Love affair is finally over.

Every CSKA Moscow fan knew this day was coming; the amicable divorce has been stretched out for some time, but after seven *ahem* eventful years in Russia, Vágner Love is at long last heading home to Brazil after Flamengo completed a €10 million deal with the Army Men for their mercurial striker earlier this week. It is the end of an era.

The 27-year-old will be remembered as arguably one of the greatest forwards in the history of the Russian league. And things were rarely dull with him around, either.

With those trademark multicoloured dreadlocks, Vágner Love was an iconic figure at CSKA, scoring 117 times during 244 appearances for the Muscovites since arriving from Palmeiras in 2004.

He departs having won two Premier League titles, five Russian Cups and the UEFA Cup, after netting the winner against Sporting Lisbon in the 2005 final.

"In the opinion of most fans and experts, he is the best foreign player not only at CSKA, but in all Russian football," a statement read on the club’s official website yesterday.

"The team, the club and the many thousands in the army of CSKA fans thank Vágner for all that he has done for CSKA! We wish him good luck in everything and great new victories!"

No other overseas player has scored more in the Premier League than Vágner Love and he has certainly played his part in football’s development in Russia. He was also the first foreigner to join the “Grigory Fedotov Club”, the name given to an elite group who have netted a century of goals (Grigory Fedotov, the first to have achieved such a feat, was a former CSKA player who scored 149 times for the club).

A popular character, Vágner Love was unpredictable both on and off the pitch. He is a flamboyant figure, a maverick - someone the fans loved.

It is rumoured Vágner Love’s name derives from his time as a Palmeiras player when he was caught with a girl in his room ahead of an important game.

“It isn't a secret that I like women, and that I take care of how I look, but that doesn't mean I can't focus on my football as well,” he said at the time.

Vágner Love certainly knew how to enjoy himself; perhaps a little too much.

His former team-mate Jô tried his hand in England with Manchester City and before too long Vágner Love’s strike partner Seydou Doumbia will no doubt also be playing in one of Europe’s top leagues, so there is a sense of unfulfilled promise to some extent, despite all that he has achieved in Russia.

The reported €10 million fee Flamengo paid is indicative of his immense talent.

In 2008 – arguably Vágner Love’s best season at CSKA – he finished top of the scoring charts with 20 goals and became only the second foreigner to win the league’s Player of the Year award.

His generously moustached manager Valery Gazzaev called him "one of the best strikers in Europe" at the time.

Then things started to unravel. A video of Vágner Love with the unimaginatively named Brazilian porn star Pamela Butt had previously been leaked online that year. She was enraged.

"It's appalling," Butt told the Folha de São Paulo. "I'm very well paid to have sex on camera, but I earned nothing for this. I am two people: Pamela the actress and Pamela the private lady, and today the private lady is defiled."

Vágner Love simply shrugged it off.

"Hey, I'm known for being amorous. Let's be honest: this reputation isn't one that unsettles me."

Yet his career had already begun to stagnate in the Russian capital and in 2009 he returned home to Brazil, joining former side Palmeiras and then Flamengo on loan, citing “family problems”. Several European clubs were interested in him around that time.

Many doubted whether Vágner Love would even return to see out the new two-and-a-half year contract he signed before departing. But he did, and with some success

Vágner Love looked like he was getting back to his best with nine goals in the second half of 2010. There is no doubting that on his day – and mood permitting – Vágner Love is unplayable.

He had also formed a fruitful partnership with Doumbia as well, the league’s top marksman, but only managed to find the back of the net nine times himself domestically in 2011.

It was no secret Vágner Love had been hankering after a move back to Brazil and although fans will certainly miss him, they will concede his time in the Premier League was up.

“I’ll take extremely warm memories with me from Russia,” he said on Wednesday.

“In these seven years, I have felt love and support from the club and from the fans. I fell in love with CSKA with all my heart and felt an affinity with it.

“They were great years – we won a heap of titles! But, even more, I value how people connected with me here. At CSKA they made a man out of me, for which I am above all thankful to the club president Evgeny Giner.”

His good relationship with Giner is perhaps one of the reasons why Vágner Love stayed in Moscow for so long, even if he clearly didn’t take well to the Russian winter.

Although Vágner Love has been involved in more than his fair share of controversies, his goals have, to a certain degree, made him somewhat immune from criticism. He is, and will forever remain, an immensely popular figure among CSKA fans.

The Premier League is losing one of its most colourful characters in Vágner Love, but also one of its best strikers.

До свидания, Лав, до свидания...

Jádson’s departure marks the end of an era at Shakhtar Donetsk

2012-01-17T15:38:00Z

Jádson walked out onto the pitch at the Donbass Arena for one last time yesterday.

The pint-sized playmaker surveyed the stadium where he scored the first goal at for Shakhtar Donetsk against Obolon Kyiv some two-and-a-half years ago, before heading back down the tunnel to have a moment to himself in the home dressing room.

After seven seasons with the club, few in this corner of eastern Ukraine will begrudge him a move to São Paulo in his native Brazil.

Inside the bowels of Shakhtar’s magnificent home it was standing-room only at Jádson’s farewell press conference and for those unable to attend, the event was streamed live on the club’s official website.

He emerged at noon to a standing ovation from fans and journalists.

Jádson was one of Mircea Lucescu’s first signings as Shakhtar manager, after buying him from Atlético Paranaense in January 2005. A superb player with a sublime touch and low centre of gravity, he honed his skills as a futsal player before making the step up to 11-a-side football at the age of 13.

The compact midfielder is an intelligent, technically gifted individual, able to spot a pass or find the back of the net himself and he has been a mainstay in a Shakhtar side that has gradually supplanted Dynamo Kyiv as Ukraine’s pre-eminent club.

In his 272 appearances Jádson scored 64 goals, as well as providing assists for countless others. He departs with five Premier League winners’ medals.

And his name shall never be forgotten in Donetsk after netting the decisive goal in the 2009 UEFA Cup final against Werder Bremen.

With the score tied at 1-1 in the first period of extra time, Darijo Srna made one of his marauding runs down the right and fed Jádson who had arrived late from a deep position; although he didn’t strike the ball cleanly, he got enough on it to beat Tim Wiese and ensure Shakhtar became the first Ukrainian side to lift a European trophy in the post-Soviet era.

That goal was shown during a 20-minute video documenting his time in Ukraine at yesterday’s packed press conference.

Only his manager was absent. Lucescu, still in a Bucharest hospital after being involved in a car accident recently, spoke with the midfielder over the telephone, leaving Shakhtar’s CEO Sergei Palkin to host the event.

He presented Jádson with a club shirt emblazoned with the number 272.

“I want to thank everyone who came here to say goodbye,” said the tearful 28-year-old.

“Today, I am leaving. I will remember the whole period spent in Donetsk. In addition to the trophies, I will take with me the fans’ love and respect towards me and my family. I am very touched. It is a very sad moment.”

He was highly-respected in the city. Assistant manager Alexandru Spiridon commented that “I have worked together with Jádson for seven years. He is part of Shakhtar, a very important part. To be honest, when Jádson said goodbye to us, my eyes were filled with tears.

“Jádson deserves the warmest and kindest words - as a footballer and as a person,” continued the Moldovan.

“But still, it is a very sad moment when the person with whom you have worked side by side with for so many years leaves. It feels like a part of you is leaving.

“I saw that the boys were experiencing the same emotions when saying goodbye to Jádson. It was hard.”

For all his, and the club’s success though, Jádson isn't really departing on a high. His recognition at international level has been some time coming, but after playing in the Copa América he made just 14 more appearances for Shakhtar since the summer.

They are second in the Premier League table too, a point behind Dynamo, albeit with a superior goal difference.

There is a sense that maybe it was the right time for him leave though. Indeed, it had been on the cards.

Shakhtar earn €3.8 million from the deal, plus take 30% of the rights to São Paulo’s 20-year-old midfielder Wellington, who is valued at €10 million, but for now Lucescu may stick with what he has got.

Even if they are involved in a three-horse race domestically, there is no Champions League football for the club to contest.

There was some good news for Shakhtar fans yesterday, however. On the day Jádson left, their tricky, left-footed, right-sided attacker Douglas Costa penned a new five-year deal. Undoubtedly the 21-year-old is a real talent, but Lucescu must be praying he now adds some consistency to his game.

Douglas Costa’s fellow Brazilians Dentinho and the distinctly un-Brazilian sounding Alan Patrick will probably be more involved in first-team affairs, but in the last few games before the winter break Henrik Mkhitaryan excelled in Jádson’s role behind the central striker in a 4-2-3-1 formation.

A classy player with an eye for goal, the poster boy of Armenian football is another outstanding prospect at the club. The 22-year-old has big boots to fill though, as does Jádson.

He takes the No.10 shirt at São Paulo vacated by Rivaldo, who last week made a surprise move to Angolan side Kabuscorp.

“Jadson was our team’s soul. He was always cheerful. He liked singing songs. He always created a good atmosphere within the team,” said Srna after saying goodbye to his team-mate.

“It is a pity that he is leaving for good. Jadson is a great player, one of the leaders at Shakhtar, but most importantly, he is a wonderful person and a loyal friend. The circumstances were such that he had to return to Brazil. But that's life. And I am sure that we will meet again.

“In any case, we promised each other!”

Plans are also afoot to give him his own star on the Walk of Fame that was launched last year.

He may be gone, but Jádson won’t be forgotten in Ukraine any time soon.

NMTB's FSU Review of 2011

2011-12-21T12:45:00Z

It's been a fascinating year in the former Soviet Union, as our Iron Curtain-twitcher Mark Gilbey reports...

This time last year, a bare-chested Luciano Spalletti was trotting around an icy Petrovsky Stadion in jubilation after leading Zenit St Petersburg to their second Premier League title since the fragmentation of the Soviet Union. And they're top now, too. But the Italian has kept his shirt on, for this is a transitional season in RUSSIA.

From next year the championship will ditch its traditional summer calendar and fall into line with the major European leagues by adopting an “autumn-spring” system. The corollary is an additional 14 rounds tacked on to the end of the regular 30-game season.

Over the summer CSKA Moscow held a seven-point advantage over Zenit, but now trail by six and there were question marks over the future of the club’s coach Leonid Slutsky. He has, though, redeemed himself somewhat by taking the Army Men into the knockout stages of the Champions League.

They qualified with Zenit, so that means there will be two Russian sides playing Champions League football after Christmas for the first time. Only Lionel Messi and Mario Gómez scored more than Seydou Doumbia in the group stages. He has been nothing short of prolific for CSKA this season, netting five goals in five Champions League games to add to the 24 the Ivorian has domestically.

Dan Petrescu also deserves a mention. His newly-promoted Kuban Krasnodar are ensconced in the top half of the table after being something of a yo-yo side these past few years. Defensively they have been frugal, but Petrescu has his own hot-shot Ivorian striker banging in the goals at the other end. Lanky Lacina Traoré has 15 to his name in the 21-year-old’s debut season to make him one of the league’s top newcomers.

It has also been a memorable year for football in the restive north Caucasus. In January an ambitious Terek Grozny provided an early shock to 2011 with the managerial appointment of Ruud Gullit, who was set the target of taking the Chechens into Europe. Terek moved into a new stadium in Grozny and several big names were linked with the club, but the Dutchman’s reign was a dismal one and Gullit was sacked after just 13 games.

Their neighbours in Dagestan have made a far better fist of challenging the established order. In the space of a year Anzhi Makhachkala have gone from being almost unknown outside of Russia to the name on everybody’s lips. Barely a day passes without them being linked to a high-profile signing.

The club’s wealthy owner Suleiman Kerimov has bankrolled the creation of a new side that includes Roberto Carlos, Yuri Zhirkov, Balázs Dzsudzsák and Mbark Boussoufa, but the capture of Samuel Eto’o really announced their arrival on the world stage. Anzhi finish 2011 in seventh with 12 rounds remaining.

How bottom side Tom Tomsk would like a few roubles from Eto’o’s mind-boggling wage package. Financial problems and the loss of their experienced coach Valeri Nepomniachi for health reasons have the seen the fortunes of the league’s easternmost side head south since the summer. The Siberians even went 12 games and over 1,000 minutes without scoring a goal.

Over the border in UKRAINE the league begins its winter hibernation with an unbeaten Dynamo Kyiv holding a slender one-point advantage over their arch-rivals and reigning champions Shakhtar Donetsk.

Success domestically has been tempered by poor showings in Europe for both. Once again Dynamo failed to navigate their way out of the Champions League qualifying rounds and last week exited the Europa League.

It was worse for Shakhtar. The Pitmen were expected to kick on after last year’s exploits in the Champions League – not least because Mircea Lucescu was able to retain his star players – but they finished bottom of their group and didn’t pick up a win until a dead-rubber on matchday six against APOEL Nicosia.

Their departure leaves just Metalist Kharkiv flying the flag for Ukraine in Europe. And after just one defeat in the league, Myron Markevich’s side are by no means out of finishing in the top two when things pick up again in March. Maybe, just maybe, they can go one better after five successive seasons as bronze medallists.

Juande Ramos’ Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk are 14 points off the pace following an inconsistent start to the campaign. The Spaniard was rumoured to be for the chop; he survived, and Dnipro have been buoyed by the arrival of Nikola Kalinić from Blackburn Rovers who has scored nine times in 12 games to help fire them up the table.

April saw minnows Obolon Kyiv write their name in the history books by ending Shakhtar’s unbeaten record in Donetsk that stretched back to 2008. The Brewers operate on a shoestring budget and don’t have a single foreign player on their books, but triumphed 1-0 to inflict a first home defeat on Shakhtar in 56 matches.

Obolon also beat Shakhtar in Kyiv and took four points off Dynamo last season. This campaign points have been hard to come by. Kyiv’s third club are bottom of the table and didn’t pick up a win until round 17; by then Serhiy Kovalets had already lost his job.

The most successful ARMENIAN team of the post-Soviet era, Pyunik Yerevan, were denied an 11th successive league title by Ulisses Yerevan. Arguably the real story has been the performances of the national team this year though.

They emerged as the surprise package during qualifying for Euro 2012. Vardan Minasyan had his young side well-organised and playing some attractive football, and while defeat to the Republic of Ireland meant he was unable to take them to the play-offs, there are certainly grounds for optimism in Armenia. Shakhtar’s Henrik Mkhitaryan was voted the country’s player of 2011.

Giovanni Trapattoni’s Ireland overcame another improving former Soviet republic to reach next summer’s finals: ESTONIA. Flora Tallinn retained their Meistriliiga title, while Trans Narva’s Latvian forward Aleksandrs Čekulajevs scored an incredible 46 goals.

He won’t mind that 18 of those came against the league’s whipping boys Ajax Lasnamäe. The Tallinn side won promotion last year, in no small part down to their coach Andrei Borissov, who left ahead of the new season for FC Infobet and things never got going for the amateurs.

Ajax failed to record a win all season. Along the way they picked up just four points, scored a paltry 11 goals and conceded an incredible 192 during 36 games. The squad lacked discipline after a poor start and picked up several red cards, while Betradar flagged a couple of matches as suspicious.

Key players departed and the side was replenished with several members of the youth team who play in the Teine Liiga, Estonia’s third tier. Even their president pitched in: Boriss Dugan took over coaching duties in the spring and the 51-year-old also pulled his boots on to make seven appearances as a player.

BATE Borisov confirmed themselves as BELARUS’ number one team by picking up their sixth consecutive league title; furthermore they reached the group stages of the Champions League. The club’s Brazilian-born Belarusian Renan Bressan also underlined his credentials as the division’s best player.

Dinamo Minsk bid farewell to their manager. Again. Sergei Ovchinnikov exits and is replaced by Aleksandr Sednev, who becomes Dinamo’s 25th coach in 12 years.

There was a change at the top in MOLDOVA as Sheriff Tiraspol were unable to take an 11th consecutive Divizia Naţională title after being ousted by Dacia Chişinău, Rohan Ricketts’ former side.

Another pioneering Briton abroad, John Gregory, popped up in KAZAKHSTAN to take charge of fallen giants Kairat Almaty over the summer. The former Queens Park Rangers and Aston Villa manager was unable to save them from relegation on the final day though.

The AZERBAIJAN dream is also over for Tony Adams after 18 months with Qäbälä. They finished last season in midtable and as we approach the winter break Qäbälä are sixth in the 12-team championship. There was that long unbeaten run in the previous campaign – and they did keep 21 clean sheets from 32 matches – but it would be erroneous to consider Adams’ time in Azerbaijan an overwhelming success.

UZBEKISTAN midfielder Server Djeparov was voted Asia’s player of the year for the second time in his career. The central Asian republic are also through to the fourth qualifying round of the 2014 World Cup.

Ex-Southampton striker Marian Pahars began his first steps into management in his native LATVIA by taking the reigns of another of his former clubs, Skonto Riga. The 35-year-old guided Skonto to fourth.

Temuri Ketsbaia didn’t take GEORGIA to Euro 2012, although they did beat Croatia at home during the qualifying stages and finish the year at 73th in the FIFA world rankings, 52 places higher than when the ex-Newcastle United midfielder took over in November 2009.

And finally, Ekranas once again made a clean sweep of the trophies in LITHUANIA. Valdas Urbonas’ team won the A Lyga, Lithuanian Cup and Super Cup for the second year running.

Remembering Uzbek football’s darkest day

2011-08-12T13:36:00Z

Saturday 11 August 1979; a date that shall forever remain etched into the soul of Uzbek football.

On this fateful midsummer’s morning the central Asian republic’s most successful side of the Soviet era, Pakhtakor Tashkent, embarked upon a journey to what is today Belarus for a Top League fixture against Dinamo Minsk. They would never make it.

After a stopover in the Ukraine, almost 10,000 metres above the city of Dniprodzerzhynsk in dense fog the Aeroflot plane carrying the squad collided with another en route to Moldova, killing all 178 people aboard the two aircrafts.

This was at a time when charter flights were reserved for the Party nomenclature, meaning habitually clubs made these mammoth trips via passenger jets.

Pakhtakor had set off from Tashkent for Minsk via Guryev in Kazakhstan and had refuelled in Donetsk before the tragedy struck.

Among the dead were 14 players and three members of the club’s backroom staff...

Sergey Pokatilov, goalkeeper.
Yury Zagumennyh, defender.
Nikolay Kulikov, defender.
Olim Ashirov, defender.
Ravil Agishev, defender.
Michael An, midfielder.
Konstantin Bakanov, midfielder.
Alexander Korchyonov, midfielder.
Vladimir Makarov, midfielder.
Vladimir Fyodorov, striker.
Victor Tchurkin, striker.
Sirojiddin Bozorov, striker.
Shuhrat Ishbutaev, striker. Vladimir Sabirov, striker.
Vladimir Chumakov, doctor.
Idgay Tazetdinov, coach.
Mansur Talibjanov, administrator.

Aside from the adverse weather conditions, Soviet premier Leonid Brezhnev’s trip to Crimea had brought disruption to the region’s flight corridors and ultimately the cause of the accident was human error.

In an era before Mikhail Gorbachev’s of glasnost and perestroika the disaster was hushed up somewhat, with news of the crash first appearing in Moldovan and Belarussian newspapers the following Tuesday.

It took until 18 August for details of the funeral service at the Botkin Cemetery in Tashkent to be made known nationally.

There was a huge outpouring of grief, not only in the capital but across Uzbekistan as the population mourned the loss of a gifted generation of players whom were part of the country’s only ever side to play in the top tier of the Soviet football pyramid.

Founded in 1956, Pakhtakor finished sixth in the Top League just six years later. They failed to build upon this success however and in the seventies were something of a yo-yo club, though some stability seemed to have been restored in 1978 though with an 11th-place finish.

By a strange quirk of fate, the club’s Ukrainian manager Oleh Bazylevych had travelled separately from the squad and survived the crash, as did goalkeeper Aleksandr Yanovskiy, along with Tulyagan Isakov and Anatoly Mogilny.

Pakhtakor were left with the dilemma of how they should revive the club; then, in a remarkable act, the football world came together.

The championship’s other sides loaned them players – enough for Bazylevych to cobble together a side – and incredibly just 12 days later Pakhtakor were back playing football.

That they lost 1-0 to Ararat Yerevan is perhaps not a surprise.

Yet the club ended the season an extremely commendable ninth in the 18-team division, just one place below where Pakhtakor had been prior to the accident.

A three-year guarantee from relegation had also been given to them by Soviet football authorities.

Bazylevych departed for Spartak Moscow the following year and predictably Pakhtakor struggled in the next two seasons, finishing in the lower echelons of the table, only to manage a record-equalling sixth-place finish in 1982.

Andrey Yakubik was one of the championship’s leading players and scored 23 goals in 34 matches.

Two years later Pakhtakor were relegated though and wouldn't return to the Top League until the final season of the Soviet football calendar. Yesterday marked the 32nd anniversary of the accident.

There have been many changes in the central Asian republic since then but Pakhtakor and Uzbekistan have not forgotten the 17 who lost their lives on that terrible day.

A monument bearing the names of the deceased stands in Tashkent and from a young age footballers from across the country come together for a tournament held annually in their honour.

Fittingly, in time the “cotton pickers” have been able to once again establish themselves as Uzbekistan’s most successful side.

Pakhtakor broke Neftchi Ferghana’s hegemony during the years following the fragmentation of the USSR and have won the Oliy League a record eight times, along with 10 Uzbek Cups.

Border skirmish: it's Russia v Ukraine in the Champions League

2011-07-26T15:02:00Z

Every now and again, mainly when there’s no actual football being played, someone somewhere chirps up with the idea of creating a combined Russian and Ukrainian championship.

It’s a plan that’s unlikely to come to fruition any time soon. Still, a renewal of those fierce rivalries from the Soviet era would nevertheless create some mouthwatering fixtures and get more bums on seats.

Dynamo Kyiv versus Rubin Kazan wasn't one of those rivalries.

While the Ukrainians were a dominant force, Rubin didn’t begin to make waves in Russian football until their current manager Kurban Berdyev arrived at the club in 2001. The pair had never actually played each other until meeting in the Champions League two seasons ago.

Nevertheless, it is Ukraine against Russia in the Champions League tonight, in what is arguably the third qualifying round’s stand-out fixture. It is also one that both sides would probably rather have avoided, the loser falling through the trapdoor into the Europa League.

"The draw has thrown together the two best teams at this stage – there is no one stronger than Rubin and us,” affirmed Dynamo’s Russian manager Yuri Semin earlier this month.

“Games between Russian and Ukrainian clubs are always more interesting than matches against clubs from other countries.”

Two years ago, in the group stages of the Champions League, Dynamo took four points off Rubin with a 3-1 victory in Kyiv and a goalless draw in Tatarstan. But both sides are very different now, and in some respects you could argue they are both in transitional phases.

Dynamo have changed managers since those two encounters. It was during Valeri Gazzaev’s ill-fated reign that the clubs met, after Semin left Dynamo for another of his former sides, Lokomotiv Moscow, in June 2009. He returned last Christmas to take control of Ukraine’s most successful team once again. A rebuilding job is underway as he looks to revive their fortunes.

Dynamo fans will hope Oleksandr Aliyev comes good after returning to the club with Semin in the winter, while Nigerian midfielder Lukman Haruna has looked a decent addition to the midfield. Roman Eremenko and Ognjen Vukojevic may well be preferred in the centre, though.

At the back, Senegalese centre-back Pape Diakhate’s return from a loan spell in France has been like a new signing: he’s been a solid defender in the absence of the injured Taras Mikhalik.

Semin has also bought Nigerian striker Ideye Brown from Sochaux for €8 million.

The 22-year-old promised 20 goals this season upon his arrival, and has already made healthy inroads into that target with four in his opening one-and-a-half matches.

Dynamo have more options and they are probably the better of the two sides at this moment in time.

Last season Rubin displayed almost no ambition or attacking intent in the Champions League, and were widely criticised for their negative brand of football (they were unbeaten in three matches against Barcelona, mind).

Ahead of the new season Turkmen coach Kurban Berdyev spoke of his side playing a more expansive game. But while there were signs of improvement in the first third of their Premier League campaign, Friday’s soporific 1-0 win in Chechnya over Terek Grozny proves there’s still work to be done.

Doubtless the four new arrivals Berdyev hopes to bring in will aid this.

They’ll still play their counter-attacking football, though, and tonight’s game is unlikely to be a high-scoring affair.

Ecuadorian international Christian Noboa will be key for Rubin in the centre of midfield, as will the nippy Alan Kasaev out wide – one tricky customer. In defence, Salvatore Bocchetti could be restored to the starting line-up.

Berdyev has injury concerns, including €20m signing Carlos Eduardo, Cesar Navas and Aleksandr Ryazantsev, but they’ll still be a highly-organised team and a tough nut to crack.

However, they aren’t the Rubin of a couple of seasons ago.

The likes of influential midfielder Sergei Semak, playmaker Alejandro Dominguez and forward Aleksandr Bukharov have departed and a repeat of last year’s third-place finish domestically will be considered a success by Berdyev.

Rubin are currently fourth in Russia after 17 games. Qualification for the group stages of the Champions League this year, then, is important, as it is for Dynamo.

Despite losing to Braga in the quarter-finals of the Europa League last season, financially Dynamo earned far less than their arch-rivals Shakhtar Donetsk, who reached the same stage of the Champions League.

Some impressive performances in Europe earned Mircea Lucescu’s side €17.5m, while in comparison Dynamo pocketed just €4.56m.

They are the favourites tonight and probably for the tie as a whole, but if Rubin can get something - even an away goal to take back to Tatarstan, the second leg at Kazan’s Centralni Stadion could be very interesting.

Meet the chief leading Azerbaijan from the ashes

2011-07-21T11:38:00Z

Every aspect of modern football can be broken down into commodities that are compared, priced and sold on the transfer market – and none more so than youth. The embodiment of hope, it's the thing that drives the beautiful game on, controlling the priorities of our federations, the direction of our clubs, the value of our transfers.

A miracle cure for any situation – whether it be a bright new prospect with the talent to match his extravagant haircut as he helps a country return to its Samba roots, or maybe a bright-eyed coach from Portugal with the fresh ideas to reform a London establishment that’s found itself stuck in backwards ways – it solves predicaments throughout the sport.

But we’re not here to discuss Neymar or Andre Villas-Boas. Let's talk about international football's youngest chief administrator, Elkhan Mammadov – General Secretary of the Azerbaijani FA.

Appointed in 2007, Elkhan – still only 32 – has spent the past few years working to improve the standard of football in his beloved nation, which nestles on the Caspian Sea to the east of Turkey, but very much looks west to UEFA, where Elkhan has thrived.

NEVER MIND THE BOLSHEVIKS Madonna, war zones, ghost towns and Hull

Indeed, the country has always relied upon its relationship with Europe to help drive the game onwards – from football's introduction in 1911 by English workers, through the newly-formed youth leagues and professional clubs, to UEFA investment for next year's U17 Women’s World Cup.

While similar federations in this part of the world may have persisted with egocentric plans to develop the sport by their own means, Elkhan was quick to establish strong bonds with UEFA. Leaving no doubt in anyone’s mind, he swiftly transformed the backwater football wasteland in to a hustling hotbed of action on and off the field with constant support from the European body as well as clubs and charities throughout the West – a far cry from the corrupt game Azerbaijani football had become only a few years prior.

At the turn of the century, Azerbaijani football found itself in the grasp of Ilham Aliyev (the son of the country's then President Heydar Aliyev). Made head of the Azerbaijani National Olympic Committee, the younger Aliyev did little to help the Association of Football Federation of Azerbaijan (AFFA) and football around the country. Fans and players alike turned from the game in favour of Russian and Iranian alternatives.

Azerbaijani football hit rock bottom when tax police stormed the offices of the AFFA claiming it owed half a million dollars in unpaid taxes. Private cars were seized to pay off debts, the national stadium was shut down, AFFA president Faud Musayev had his visa taken from him, and general secretary Oktai Zeinalov was arrested and charged with tax evasion and sentenced to solitary confinement.

Things came to a dreadful conclusion in the spring of 2002 when a number of clubs refused to play in the forthcoming season while Musayev remained AFFA president, leading to a lockdown of the sport until the following May and a suspension of the national team from all FIFA and UEFA tournaments.

Many things have changed since then – for a start, in 2003 Ilham Aliyev succeeded his father as the country's President – but one of the most notable improvements has been in the opinion the Azerbaijani people hold for their national sport.

Ilham Aliyev makes a friend...

Where football was once nothing but corrupt, it now stands in its centenary year as a bastion of inspiration for the nation, which is in no small part down to Mammadov – appointed AFFA's General Secretary in 2007.

Earlier this year, UNICEF were brought on board to help promote women’s football with training initiatives and a certain focus on coaching and introducing young women to the sport. Mammadov has been heralded as an inspiration figure for the women’s game and gender equality within a predominantly Islamic state. This was shown through the country's dedication and enthusiasm in holding next year's women's U17 tournament.

Mammadov’s influence and authority is evident in the standard and organisation in every aspect of Azerbaijani football. The country played host to this year's UEFA Group Study Scheme, as 2,000 technical coaches from the continent's 53 associations arrived to discuss the state of grass-roots football within Azerbaijan.

Although the domestic game is yet to reach a level where it can compete at a reasonable level within Europe’s qualification rounds, the league now finally has structure and consistency. Neftchi, from the capital Baku, won the title this year and are considered by most as the largest club within the country. AFFA will hope that Azerbaijani clubs can start to challenge in European competition.

The national sides are certainly improving. In January the senior team reached an all-time highest FIFA ranking of 97, and in May the U17s beat Ukraine 5-4 on penalties to win the recent President’s Cup in Kazakhstan.

With average league attendances growing to just over two thousand spectators per match, the sport is evidently enjoying a much needed period of prosperity. Whether or not this rise can continue, and just how far Azerbaijani football can go, will only be answered with time and continued effort. Fortunately for Azerbaijan and its young leader Elkhan Mammadov, they have both in abundance.

Can Juande Ramos break the duopoly in Ukraine with Dnipro?

2011-07-15T11:26:00Z

When Juande Ramos popped up in eastern Ukraine last October to replace Volodymyr Bessonov as manager of Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk, there was a renewed hope of establishing a third way. A way of breaking that long-standing duopoly in the Premier League and finally usurping the “big two”.

Tavriya Simferopol may have won the inaugural post-independence championship after the fragmentation of the Soviet Union in 1992, but every other league title since has gone to either Dynamo Kyiv (13) or Shakhtar Donetsk (six). The last side to oust the pair from the division’s top two positions was Chornomorets Odesa some 15 years ago.

Even below them, Metalist Kharkiv have been bronze medallists five years on the trot.

The Spaniard is in the middle of his second transfer window at Dnipro though, and having been given considerable funds with which to stamp his authority on the team, greater things are expected than the fourth-place finish of the previous campaign.

Ramos – previously coach of such sides as Sevilla, Tottenham Hotspur and for a short time Real Madrid - also ordered the pitch at their stunning 31,000-capacity Dnipro Arena to be enlarged in the offseason to better suit the style of football he is trying to instil.

So things, it seems, are finally coming together at Dnipro.

That they have emerged as a viable contender to challenge Shakhtar and Dynamo’s hegemony is no surprise, however.

Dnipro twice won the Soviet Top League in the eighties and under the tutelage of Yevhen Kucherevskiy and later Oleh Protasov became a force in the Ukrainian Premier League.

Not once in the past decade have the club finished outside the top six.

Their owner is Ihor Kolomoisky, an influential businessman and native of Dnipropetrovsk. He was second only to Shakhtar president Rinat Akhmetov in Ukraine’s rich list last year, with an estimated fortune of $6.243 billion. Yet in the past he has generally shied away from the big transfers.

Traditionally, Dnipro have been a team renowned for its strong Ukrainian core, so in some respects the appointment of Ramos denotes a new era for the club.

The 56-year-old still has a strong reputation in Europe – despite the difficulties of his last few months at Tottenham - and his arrival has helped to attract a calibre of player that perhaps wouldn't have been possible with an Eastern European coach in charge, even with a lucrative contract being dangled in front of them.

Accordingly, Ramos’ first five signings over the winter were all foreign.

Premier League rules dictate his starting line-up must contain at least four Ukrainians though and Ramos has been active in the local market, most recently buying midfielder Denys Oliynyk from Dnipro’s rival’s Metalist for a considerable amount.

A 3-3 draw in their opening game of the new season against Arsenal Kyiv revealed the need for a centre-back.

He’s also looking for a striker to fill the void left by Yevhen Seleznyov.

The 25-year-old was Dnipro’s top scorer in each of the past two seasons, but has returned to his boyhood club Shakhtar and in spite of options up front the Ukrainian international will be sorely missed.

Matheus’ impact after joining from Braga has been curtailed by injury, Oleksandr Hladkiy hasn’t hit it off at Dnipro since a big-money move from Shakhtar and young forward Roman Zozulya isn't yet ready to lead the line.

Ramos also has Alexei Antonov, a striker with a decent record last year at Illychivets Mariupil who actually scored twice in that draw at Arsenal, yet he’s unlikely to be the one to spearhead Dnipro’s efforts to dislodge Dynamo and Shakhtar from the Champions League places.

Their real strength lies in midfield. Ramos’ marquee signing during the winter break was the €10 million purchase of Giuliano, a gifted Brazilian who won the Copa Libertadores last year and although the 21-year-old is yet to score for Dnipro he has nevertheless proved himself a talented individual.

With half a season already under his belt in Ukraine it’s hoped Giuliano will realise his potential and justify that such a hefty transfer fee.

There will also be more bite in the centre of midfield with Derek Boateng after the Ghanaian international rejected a move to Dnipro in favour of the English Premier League.

Key though isn’t one of Ramos’ new arrivals, but rather a young Ukrainian: Yevhen Konoplyanka.

A versatile, attack-minded midfielder, the 21-year-old is an integral part of the side and when he doesn’t play, Dnipro aren’t the same.

Konoplyanka failed to light up the European Under-21 Championships recently like some predicted he would, but nevertheless he’s taken over the mantle of chief playmaker at Dnipro.

Last season constituted something of a learning curve for Ramos.

One Ukrainian publication used the succinct heading “perestroika”, a Russian word synonymous with the Mikhail Gorbachev era that literally means “restructuring” while assessing Dnipro and their manager’s performance. And while the title is perhaps beyond them this year, certainly usurping Metalist isn't.

Shakhtar look well and truly ensconced in the Champions League places and Dynamo will be resurgent under Yuri Semin but the battle for third went down to the wire in the previous campaign.

If everything comes together though, if the side gels and plays as a team under Ramos then maybe, just maybe, the big two’s duopoly could be broken at long last.

Ukraine Premier League 2011/12: Preview, predictions and pointers

2011-07-08T12:44:00Z

The Ukraine Premier League doesn't kick off until tonight but Dynamo Kyiv have already laid down a marker for the title. Last season's runners-up beat their arch rivals Shakhtar Donetsk 3-1 to win the Super Cup earlier this week in Poltava.

And it’s back at the Butovsky Vorskla Stadium later this evening that Vorskla Poltava host newly-promoted Oleksandria to open the 21st edition of the Ukrainian Premier League.

Once again the so-called “big two” are expected to dominate. Despite that loss on Tuesday, SHAKHTAR DONETSK remain the team to beat and Mircea Lucescu has, at least for now, been able to retain the crop of players that achieved so much last season amid persistent rumours linking the likes of Willian and Douglas Costa with moves away from eastern Ukraine.

The wily old Romanian has also strengthened, meaning Shakhtar have the best squad and look better-equipped for the campaign ahead.

Four new faces have arrived; predictably, two of them are young exciting Brazilian attackers in Dentinho and the very un-Brazilian sounding Alan Patrick, but Lucescu has signed two Ukrainians, including the championship’s top scorer from last season.

Yevhen Seleznyov came through the ranks at Shakhtar and it wasn't unusual to see the 25-year-old in the stands at the Donbass Arena; it will be interesting to see where he fits in after a fruitful season with Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk in which he scored 17 in 24 games.

Shakhtar may be the bookies’ favourites, but you can’t write off DYNAMO KYIV.

With Yuri Semin back for a second spell as manager they will have more purpose and direction about them than in Valery Gazzaev’s dismal reign; the Super Cup has already shown that when the Bilo-syni are firing on all cylinders they're more than a match for their arch rivals.

Shakhtar have their Brazilians, but Dynamo looked to Africa this summer. Semin spent €8m on Ideye Brown, a Nigerian striker who netted 15 times for Sochaux in Ligue 1 last season, along with compatriot midfielder Lakman Haruna. Returning Senegalese centre-back Pape Diakhaté will be like a new signing, too.

Kyiv and Shakhtar have established hegemony over the Champions League places, although last season METALIST KHARKIV pushed Dynamo all the way for that runners-up spot before finishing as bronze medallists for a fifth successive year.

The experienced Myron Markevich is one of Ukraine’s most talented coaches and he has some good players to work with.

He’ll be hoping young Argentinian forward Jonathan Cristaldo picks up where he left off after finding some form at the end of last season and that Sebastián Blanco recovers from a serious injury to play a big part for Metalist.
With an expected resurgence under Semin though it could be that Dynamo once again have too much for them and Metalist may will finish third, depending on what sort of a challenge DNIPRO DNIPROPETROVSK pose.

DP finished fourth last year, but Juande Ramos’ appointment last October was with an eye firmly on breaking the Dynamo-Shakhtar dominance.

Last season was something of a transitional phase for both the Spaniard and his team, but if he can bring it all together then they could shake things up at the top; certainly, usurping Metalist is a very realistic target.

Ramos has had two transfer windows to stamp his authority on the team now and enlarged the playing area at the Dnipro Arena to better suit the style of football he is trying to instil.

Club president Ihor Kolomoisky is Ukraine’s second richest man (after Shakhtar’s Rinat Akhmetov) and more is expected from the club this season.

Five major signings arrived over the winter and big money was spent recently on Derek Boateng, a midfielder who rejected a move to England in favour of Dnipropetrovsk, officially for European football.

€10m brought young Brazilian Giuliano to the club as well. He showed flashes of talent and it’s hoped he’ll become a key player, but in spite of all these new arrivals the one who makes everything tick is Yevhen Konoplyanka, a versatile attacking midfielder key to their success at just 21 years old.

He’s one to keep an eye on.

Money talks in Ukraine, as it does elsewhere, and this quartet of clubs will almost certainly finish the season in the top four positions in some order with KARPATY LVIV looking to cement fifth once again.

Under the Belarussian Aleh Kananaw the club have been making good progress in recent years and on their day can beat anyone in the Premier League; breaking into the top four may just be beyond them though.

With four places looking sealed, one of the more interesting battles this year will be the fight for Europa League football by those below. Unlike in some countries, it’s a competition Ukrainian clubs take seriously; last season, it went right to the final day, when VORSKLA POLTAVA just nicked it.

Mykola Pavlov is a capable manager, but it would be a surprise to see them there again, and Vorskla could struggle with playing two games in a week.

Perhaps the favourites to challenge this year are TAVRIYA SIMFEROPOL. The Crimeans took sixth two seasons ago and also won the Ukrainian Cup, yet failed to build upon that success, so they’ll hope the appointment of Semen Altman can spark a revival and get them back into Europe.

He’s certainly building a decent side. Maksym Kalynychenko and Sergei Nazarenko are two old heads from Dnipro and Volodymyr Yezerskiy from Zorya Luhansk has also arrived to provide experience.

ARSENAL KYIV’s ambitious president Vadim Rabinovich has also told his new manager Leonid Kuchuk, a Belarussian who enjoyed much success in Moldova with Sheriff Tiraspol that his target is Europe and they will be a threat along with METALURH DONETSK.

Eighth position was a disappointment last season. They parted company with their promising Russian manager Andrei Gordeev just eight games into a three-year contract, but have again opted for youth in Vladimir Pyatenko.

One of the main problems for Metalurh was filling the void left by their creative midfielder Henrikh Mkhitaryan after the Armenian departed for their city rivals Shakhtar and it’s in his homeland where they’ve once again been shopping.

Joining Karlen Mkrtchyan in Donetsk are his countrymen Gevorg Ghazaryan and Marcos Pizzelli, the latter a Brazilian-born, naturalised Armenian attacker.

The surprise package last year were OBOLON KYIV. Serhiy Kovalets’ side will go down in history as being the first to beat Shakhtar at the Donbass Arena – and they also defeated them in Ukraine’s capital – along with taking four points off Dynamo, in spite of having one of the league’s smallest budgets: Obolon also don’t have a single foreign player on their books.

It would be a very tall order to replicate that success though and the Brewers will find themselves towards the lower end of the championship, as will KRYVBAS KRYVYI RIH.

The capture of goalkeeper Denys Boyko on loan from Dynamo looks to be a good signing though and mid-table for Yuriy Maksymov’s side would be considered a success.

ZORYA LUHANSK out in Ukraine’s east were banned from playing games at their Avanhard Stadium after an infamous match against Volyn last year highlighted the deficiencies in the club’s infrastructure and they will likewise finish somewhere in the bottom half of the table.

Shakhtar’s young Brazilian midfielder Bruno Renan is joining the club on loan for the season and keeping Maksym Biliy is a big plus for Zorya though.

ILLYCHIVETS MARIUPIL only survived on the final day of the season after an incredible collapse from Dynamo saw them come from two goals down to win 3-2 and they’ll once again feature several loanees from Shakhtar, including the hugely talented Bohdan Butko. They may just have enough about them to survive, Illychivets.

The versatile Butko spent last season with VOLYN LUTSK, who finished 11th last time, and they should once again retain their Premier League status.

Both the newly-promoted sides will be concerned with establishing a foothold in the division. OLEXSANDRIA from central Ukraine are back in the top flight after an absence of several years and in Volodomyr Sharan they have a young coach who could have his work cut out in keeping them up.

Making an instant return are CHORNOMORETS ODESA, who seem the more likely of the pair to survive.

INITIAL FIXTURES Fri 8 Vorskla Poltava v Oleksandria Sat 9 Illychivets Mariupil v Karpaty Lviv, Kryvbas Kryvyi Rih v Volyn Lutsk, Tavriya Simferopol v Zorya Luhansk Sun 10 Shakhtar Donetsk v Obolon Kyiv, Dynamo Kyiv v Metalist Kharkiv, Chornomorets Odesa v Metalurh Donetsk Mon 11 Arsenal Kyiv v Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk

Ukraine’s curtain-raiser a chance for Kiev to lay down an early marker

2011-07-05T16:17:00Z

And so the new season begins in Ukraine just as the previous one had ended: with a face-off between the Premier League’s “big two”.

Dynamo Kiev and Shakhtar Donetsk meet later this evening in Poltava to contest the Super Cup, Ukraine’s equivalent of the Community Shield. It is a fixture that offers the victor not only some bragging rights, but also an opportunity to lay down an early marker for the championship.

Certainly at present it’s Dynamo who are the ones with more to prove.

Shakhtar won a sixth league title in 10 years at a canter last season, and defeated their archrivals 2-0 in a tempestuous Ukrainian Cup final to complete the double in the year the club celebrates its 75th anniversary, while Mircea Lucescu’s side also enhanced a burgeoning reputation on the continent with some impressive displays in the Champions League.

Yevhen Seleznyov, the Premier League’s top scorer last season at Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk is one of four new faces to arrive and commented at his unveiling that the Pitmen are “five years ahead of other clubs in Ukraine”.

Rinat Akhmetov assumed the presidency of Shakhtar in 1996 and oversaw a steady rise that coincided with Dynamo faltering.

After Valeriy Lobanovskiy’s passing in 2002, they went through a succession of managers, all of them former players under the Colonel, until the club’s president Ihor Surkis bucked the trend in 2007 with the appointment of Yuri Semin. A respected Russian coach, he wasn't a pupil of Lobanovskiy.

It was under his stewardship that Dynamo last won the league, in addition to reaching the semi-finals of the UEFA Cup in 2009 before he departed for Lokomotiv Moscow.

Semin’s successor Valeriy Gazzaev was, like him, Russian and had no ties to Lobanovskiy and brought back to Kiev the club’s iconic striker Andriy Shevchenko to spearhead a new side he believed would be capable of winning the Champions League. But Gazzaev’s tenure lasted just one-and-a-half years.

Gazzaev, Shevchenko & Surkis had hoped to make a splash in Europe

Dynamo didn’t look like a team and he seemed to have undone much of the good work achieved by Semin, while a draw at home to the Belarussian side BATE Borisov and defeat in Moldova to Sheriff Tiraspol made his proclamations of European success seem like a distant dream. He tendered his resignation at the beginning of October in the aftermath of that 2-0 defeat in Moldova.

Semin returned at Christmas for a second spell at Dynamo, although much credit should be given to Oleh Luzhny who stepped in as interim manager and steadied the ship somewhat.

He oversaw a Premier League record 9-0 win against Illychivets Mariupil and navigated Dynamo through the Europa League group stages.

Luzhny had the respect of both the players and fans but Semin’s arrival lifted the club and there was that so-called “new manager bounce”, evident with victories over Beşiktaş and Manchester City in the Europa League.

Once that had worn off though he would have realised this wasn't the Dynamo team he left behind.

A rebuilding job has begun. There have been new arrivals and it’s no secret Semin covets a new striker.

Key though will be the form of Oleksandr Aliyev, a talented, albeit at times temperamental midfielder Semin seems to be able to get the best out of.

The 26-year-old followed his mentor from Dynamo to Lokomotiv and then subsequently back again after a protracted transfer saga during the winter break, although he suffered from a lack of fitness upon his return following a free-scoring season in Russia and struggled to make a significant impact.

Aliyev or not, Dynamo are a side capable of challenging their rivals.

Semin masterminded a 3-0 victory over Shakhtar towards the end of the season at the Valeriy Lobanovskiy Dynamo Stadium to at least salvage something from what was a fairly disastrous campaign.

It’s a result that still riles Lucescu, who was sent off after protestations against refereeing decisions.

Shakhtar and Kiev players go hell for leather back in May

The rivalry runs deep between these two. Broadly speaking, you could draw a line down Ukraine, dividing its predominantly Ukrainian-speaking, Greek Catholic population in the west where Kiev is located, and the Russian-speaking, Christian Orthodox east, home to Donetsk.

There’s also a fierce regional pride in the industrial Donbas region, of which Donetsk is the capital and Shakhtar plays an important role in this. The club’s logo features a flame and hammers in orange and black, colours representing a glowing coal ember.

Even their name “Shakhtar” translates as “miner” in Russian.

In Jakob Preuss’ documentary The Other Chelsea – a Story from Donetsk, one fan quipped after Shakhtar’s win over Dynamo in the semi-final of the 2009 UEFA Cup that “the most important thing was to beat Kiev. It doesn’t matter who wins the cup, the main thing was to beat Kiev. If we’d lost, God forbid, they would have picked on our children for the next 20 years. Heaven forbid. Now it’s the other way round, let them weep!”

And while tonight’s game at the Vorskla Stadium isn't quite at the level of a European semi-final, it is nevertheless Dynamo Kiev versus Shakhtar Donetsk, old foe versus old foe.

For Dynamo and Semin it’s also the chance to show a sign of intent for the year ahead.

What on Earth is John Gregory doing in Kazakhstan?

2011-06-23T11:25:00Z

Some say it was English merchants who introduced football to Kazakhstan early in the 20th Century during Tsarist times at Semey – then known as Semipalatinsk – a trading post in the north-east of the country close to the Russian border. Never before has an Englishman managed in the central Asian republic, though.

So John Gregory is something of a pioneer in taking charge of Kairat, a team from Kazakhstan’s former capital of Almaty where he’s faced with the challenge of resurrecting the fortunes of what is historically its biggest club.

Kairat were the sole Kazakh representatives in the Soviet Top League, where they spent a total of 24 seasons; seventh in 1986 constitutes a best-ever finish at the highest level of the USSR’s football pyramid. After the fragmentation of the Soviet Union in 1991 Kairat won the first post-independent championship of Kazakhstan, but had to wait another 12 years for their only other title and their recent history has been far from illustrious.

Temir Zholy (Kazakhstan Railways) withdrew its patronage after a three-year sponsorship deal ended in 2006 and a period of economic uncertainty followed, eventually culminating in Kairat’s voluntary removal from the top flight two years ago that left Kazakhstan’s largest city without a Premier League football team for the first time.

Wanted man: File photo of Gregory in socks-and-sandals misdemeanour

It was a brief departure, though. Kairat won promotion at the first attempt, but once again they struggled both on and off the pitch; relegation was narrowly avoided in 2010 amid reports the players hadn’t been paid for two or three months.

The 12-team top division operates on a summer calendar and splits after 22 matches into relegation and championship pools. In December, Gregory’s predecessor Vladimir Nikitenko was given an increased budget of around €4m to create a competitive side with a core of Almaty players capable of once again challenging at the top.

It has been a disappointing season so far though. Nikitenko tendered his resignation citing “family reasons”, and Gregory arrives with Kairat once again hovering above the relegation zone in 10th.

"I wouldn't have come to Almaty if the team didn't have problems," the former Aston Villa manager said at a press conference after signing a two-year deal. "Unfortunately I don't have much time to improve the situation."

The 57-year-old has been given the use of a car and driver, but neither will be of much use to him on matchdays. The Premier League’s 12 clubs are dotted around the world’s ninth-largest country in 12 different cities, which will certainly pose a challenge in preparing for games. Almaty is located in the south-east of the country, close to its border with Kyrgyzstan, at the foot of the Tian Shan Mountains.

Former Spartak Moscow coach Andrei Chernyshov, who now manages Akzhaiyk Uralsk, once said in an interview: “Every away game is preceded by a long journey. I never imagined there were such huge distances involved in working in Kazakhstan. We usually have to get a charter flight to some big city near our destination and then go by bus the rest of the way. It really is a huge country!"

Gregory, whose wife will be joining him in central Asia, was chosen ahead of coaches from Bulgaria and Poland, and it will be interesting to see how he adapts in Kazakhstan. Kairat’s precarious position means he’ll have to quickly become accustomed to new surroundings and a different style of football.
Perhaps a new approach and Western methods will provide an impetus. For now though Gregory has put more lofty ambitions on hold, instead taking a more pragmatic stance by accepting that merely surviving is the goal for this season.

A limit on foreign players in the Premier League means he’ll mainly have to play the Kazakh market in the summer transfer window that recently opened. Regardless of the ruling, unlike Tony Adams at Qäbälä in Azerbaijan he appeared to discount recruiting in Britain – at least in terms of playing staff.

Kairat are a side chiefly of Kazakh players, although already Gregory has had an agent on the phone offering him the services of three players based in Israel, where he previously worked with Maccabi Ahi Nazareth and Ashdod.

His first addition has been to bring in a familiar assistant: Richard Hill has worked as Gregory’s deputy at several clubs in England and the 47-year-old was also part of the setup while Iffy Onuora was in charge of the Ethiopian national team.

Meanwhile, England fans will perhaps recognise Kairat’s home stadium. Fabio Capello’s side made the onerous 7,000-mile round trip to central Asia to face Kazakhstan in a World Cup qualifier at the club’s 23,084-seater Almaty Central Stadium, winning 4-0 in June 2009.

Home: Gregory's new stamping ground

But Gregory's Kazakh era began away, in a baptism of fire last weekend. Kairat travelled 600 miles north to Kazakhstan’s capital to face Astana (the culmination of a merger between two Almaty clubs, Megasport Depot and Alma-Ata who upped sticks in 2009 after a sponsorship deal involving, yep, you guessed it, railway bods Temir Zholy), the league’s leaders who are living up to their billing as title favourites under the tutelage of another pioneering western European coach, the German Holgar Fach.

NMTB, June 2009: Kazakhstan's MK Dons stuck in the siding

Moldovan international Igor Bugaev gave the home side the lead after just three minutes and Astana clocked up another five before Sergey Strukov scored a consolation for Kairat in the last minute.

Certainly whoever they faced it would have been difficult for Gregory. He complained in the press conference at the Astana Arena afterwards that he’d only had a couple of days to work with the team and it was impossible to implement his ideas in such a short space of time.

Eleventh-placed Vostok drew at Ordabasy Shymkent on Sunday, leaving Kairat four points above the relegation places. Gregory has had all this week to work with his team to prepare them for the first home game of his reign this coming Saturday against last season’s champions Tobol Kostanay, a side who could rather do with the three points after finding themselves in midtable this season.

The inevitable dismissal of Ruud Gullit

2011-06-17T11:09:00Z

Somehow, it was fitting that Ruud Gullit's Russian adventure should end with a calamitous own goal. Sergei Omelyanchuk’s header past Terek Grozny goalkeeper Soslan Dzhanaev in the last minute condemned the Chechens to defeat at Amkar Perm, sealing the dismissal of the two-time World Player of the Year just 13 matches into an 18-month contract.

"I don't think it would have mattered if I had won or lost” said Gullit, who was given a one-game ultimatum in a pretty damning statement made available to all and sundry on the club’s official website earlier in the week.

He was right.

His team have been hugely disappointing this season and their performances have fallen far short of the mark set by both the club and Ramzan Kadyrov, who happily combines being president of Terek Grozny with being president of Chechnya, an autonomous republic within Russia.

Kadyrov has lofty ambitions of turning Terek into a genuine force in Russian football, and Gullit hardly did himself any favours with a contentious interview that appeared in the Daily Mail last week: talk of “money and adventure” will have riled the Terek hierarchy.

Much pomp and fanfare greeted the 48-year-old’s arrival in January, with a new 30,000-seater stadium in the offing and wealthy Swiss-based Chechen businessman Bulat Chagaev on board, Kadyrov had hoped Gullit would be the final piece in his grand plan and the preseason talk was of Terek, who finished 12th in 2010, qualifying for Europe.

Kadyrov unveils Gullit

And what Kadyrov wants, he usually gets; he doesn’t take kindly to failure. But after a slow start Terek haven't made it out of the bottom half of the 16-team division, which splits in two after 30 games for another round as Russia’s football calendar comes into line with the major European leagues. Gullit leaves the club in a lowly 14th, a solitary point and place above the relegation zone.

What makes Terek’s plight worse is the rise of Anzhi Makhachkala from Dagestan. The signing of Roberto Carlos kick-started the revolution for Gadzhi Gadzhiev’s side, who have made some impressive purchases and most recently announced they had agreed a deal to buy PSV Eindhoven’s Balázs Dzsudzsák. Anzhi are currently fourth, three points off the league leaders CSKA Moscow.

It’s debatable even if he had been given time to rectify matters that Gullit would be capable of doing so. It's far from unfair to say that as a manager he hasn’t lived up to the reputation he earned as a player, yet what made Gullit appealing to Kadyrov and Terek was the association of a big name with the Chechens.

Football is used as something of a normalisation tool in the troubled north Caucasus region and the president was looking to enhance the image of the republic in this post-war era, not to mention his own standing. There's the new Akhmat-Arena stadium and those two farcical high-profile inaugural friendlies, one against a Brazilian XI and another against a side comprised of some of the game’s golden oldies like Diego Maradona and Luís Figol; Kadyrov himself took centre stage in both.

Kadyrov v Costacurta. No, really

The appointment of a star like Gullit, as opposed to a Russian, was also with an eye on attracting a better calibre of player.
It isn't easy for a foreigner to succeed in the Russian Premier League, not even at one of the big clubs, let alone attempting to oversee the revolution of a team like Terek and there was only one way Gullit’s arrival in Russia was ever really going to end.

The Daily Mail interview doubtless speeded up his exit, though. “We don't have a training ground,” he revealed. “We train in someone else's stadium or practise on two really bad pitches. There's a guy who lives in a cabin there and he sort of looks after them. We have some facilities. We are knocking down walls to build a gym. The lack of everything was a shock but you get on with it and they appreciated the fact I didn't moan about it.”

This is hardly the image Kadyrov is striving to project to the outside world.

“I've brought in two players but I was promised three others: Diego Forlan, Madjid Bougherra and Mbark Boussoufa but they never arrived. It was a huge disappointment.”

Terek hit back on Monday, days after the club were hammered 4-2 at home to CSKA, accusing Gullit of making “untruthful statements” in a strongly-worded piece that tore shreds off their manager. Kadyrov was reported as being “extremely dissatisfied with Ruud Gullit's approach to his duties.”

“Instead of rolling up his sleeves to work, given the standings, he is thinking about bars and discos," the club said, while defending life in Chechnya. "Yes, we do not have drug abuse or indecent nightlife institutions, which are aplenty in Holland and Europe... but in Grozny there are all the conditions for people with a healthy lifestyle." They criticised Gullit, saying he had “no basic understanding of his players or his line-up” and that “Terek has never looked so hopeless before."

Even had they recorded a convincing win against Amkar, such was the climate at the club that their differences were irreconcilable and he would sooner rather than later be shown the door.

So what next for Terek and Gullit? A native coach would certainly make more sense for Terek, someone familiar with Russian football and its inner workings, even he isn't the “big name” the club covet.

Gullit wanted an adventure and he certainly got that, but he hasn’t come out of his brief time in Russia well. It’s another blot on his CV and you do wonder where he’ll end up next.

Ukraine U21s: The lowdown on England's opponents

2011-06-15T15:33:00Z

Stuart Pearce was perhaps correct in his assumption that Ukraine “are probably under a touch more pressure” than England after Pavlo Yakovenko’s side lost their opening game of the Euro 2011 finals against the Czech Republic on Sunday.

If Ukraine are to have any hope of progressing from Group B they need to take something from tonight’s game; lose, and they are out of the tournament.

Ukraine go into the match without influential captain Taras Stepanenko, who suffered a muscle tear 10 minutes into the second half of that 2-1 defeat. The injury will sideline him for the rest of the tournament.

The 21-year-old Shakhtar Donetsk holding midfielder had only just returned from a groin injury he sustained towards the end of the season, and on the eve of the finals Yakovenko had spoken of what a huge blow Stepanenko’s absence would have been.

Temur Partsvaniya replaced him on Sunday, but Yakovenko may decide to start with Partsvaniya’s Dynamo Kyiv team-mate Denys Garmash, one of the members of that Ukrainian Under-19 team that beat England in the 2009 European Championship final alongside Volodymyr Chesnako in the centre of midfield in a 4-2-3-1 formation.

Even without Stepanenko skippering the side though, there's still plenty of experience for Ukraine to call upon. Yakovenko’s squad contains seven senior internationals, six of whom began against the Czechs, and their tough-tackling centre-back Yaroslav Rakitskiywill be key.

Equally as capable a leader as Stepanenko, Rakitskiy was an integral part of Mircea Lucescu’s side that completed a league and cup double in Ukraine as well as reaching the Champions League quarter-finals, and the 21-year-old has blossomed into a fine defender alongside Dmytro Chygrynskiy.

English fans will already be familiar with him; less so Shakhtar’s Bohdan Butko, whose pace will cause problems from right-back. The 20-year-old came on leaps and bounds during a loan spell at Volyn Lutsk and were it not for having such a talented player as Darijo Srna ahead of him, Butko would surely be involved more with first-team affairs at Shakhtar.

Juande Ramos was reported to have expressed an interest in taking him to Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk, yet Lucescu has sent the youngster out for another season-long loan at Illychivets Mariupil to aid his development.

After that opening game defeat Yakovenko hinted at tweaking his starting line-up, and one change will surely be recalling left-back Yevhen Selin, who missed Sunday’s match through illness; certainly Ukraine looked susceptible down that flank.

Yakovenko is an astute coach and what we can say about this team is that while the one constant will be that lone central striker, in midfield there’s fluidity and movement and they are able to adapt depending on the circumstances. This versatility, which can see the formation evolve into a 4-3-3 with the two wide players supporting the centre-forward, is perhaps one of Ukraine’s greatest strengths.

Andriy Yarmolenko on the left of that midfield will be another face recognisable to England supporters after impressing against Manchester City in the Europa League for Dynamo – he’s also had a fine season domestically – but the real talent and creative spark in this team is Yevhen Konoplyanka.

Versatile, technically proficient and a superb dribbler, Konoplyanka is the great hope for Ukrainian football. The 21-year-old playmaker was key for Ramos at Dnipro, who valued him at €50m earlier in the year and even at such a young age his absence is felt by the team when he is missing.

Konoplyanka started the game against the Czechs behind lone striker Roman Zozulya, but drifted out wide left or deep to pick up the ball and England will need to keep an eye on him tonight. He’s right-footed, but is a menace cutting inside from the left and firing off long-range efforts at goal.

Another of those changes Yakovenko spoke of may very well be Maxym Biliy starting on the right ahead of Mykola Morozyuk who came on in the second half against the Czech Republic and not only scored Ukraine’s consolation goal, but injected some much-needed urgency into the team’s play.

It’s unlikely Ukraine will be overawed – they have quality and experience of their own to call upon. Although it’s likely Pearce’s side will have more of the ball tonight, the key for Ukraine will be hitting England on the counter and using the likes of Konoplyanka and Yarmolenko to get at the back four and cause problems in the final third.

A draw wouldn’t be a bad result ordinarily; with Spain still to play, though, Yakovenko will know this is a fixture Ukraine need to win.

Probable team: Anton Kanibolotskiy; Bohdan Butko, Yevhen Selin, Yaroslav Rakitskiy, Serhiy Kryvtsov; Temur Partsvaniya, Volodymyr Chesnako, Andriy Yarmolenko, Yevhen Konoplyanka, Maxym Biliy; Roman Zozulya.

Familiar scenes as Shakhtar crowned champions of Ukraine again

2011-05-10T08:00:00Z

You have to go back to 1996, when Chornomorets Odesa were silver medallists, for the last time it wasn't Dynamo Kyiv and Shakhtar Donetsk occupying the Premier League’s top two positions in one order or the other - and despite a valiant effort from Metalist Kharkiv, this season won’t buck that trend.

On Saturday, Dynamo confirmed themselves as runners-up with a 2-1 win away at Karpaty Lviv, shortly before in Ukraine’s industrial east Shakhtar wrapped up a sixth league title in the Donetsk derby. It hadn’t really been in any doubt.

When the Premier League awoke from its winter hibernation in March, Mircea Lucescu’s side held a commanding 12-point lead over their arch rivals who had faltered in the first half of the season under their now departed Russian coach Valeriy Gazzaev, and it has been more a case of when, not if they would win their fifth championship in seven years.

Few would disagree Shakhtar have played the best football this season, even diehards in Kyiv. They’ve scored 52 times and conceded just 15 in their 28 league games so far and prior to the winter break had lost only lost once, to Obolon Kyiv in a physical encounter that saw Fernandinho suffer a broken leg, while they topped their group in the Champions League.

Shakhtar were denied the opportunity to rub Dynamo’s noses in it by lifting the trophy in Kyiv last weekend after they were beaten 3-0 at the Valeriy Lobanovskiy Stadium.

That defeat serves as a reminder that Ukraine’s most successful side are still a force to be reckoned with and will provide a sterner test next season when Yuri Semin reasserts his authority on the team he left in 2009. There was little chance of an upset at the Donbass Arena, however.

Metalurh Donetsk are a relatively new addition to Ukrainian football, although have finished third on three occasions in the Premier League and notable faces including Yaya Touré, Jordi Cruyff and current Shakhtar midfielder Henrikh Mkhitaryan have represented them in the past, the latter leaving ,for $7.5 million last summer.

This season hasn’t been a success though, and earlier in the week they’d parted company with their young Russian manager Andrey Gordeev just eight games into a three-year deal after a 5-1 defeat at home to Arsenal Kyiv.

The Donetsk derby pales in significance to Shakhtar’s fixtures with Dynamo. In the 27 league meetings between the pair prior to Saturday, Metalurh had lost 25 of them and drawn the other two.

Defeat number 26 was promptly served up with a Luiz Adriano goal in first half stoppage time and capped by a superb late free-kick from Darijo Srna.

Rihanna flies in this week to perform at their grandiloquent stadium as part of the club’s 75th anniversary celebrations, which football-wise has been a superb year for Shakhtar, both at home and in Europe, where they qualified for the knockout stages of the Champions League for the first time.

Lucescu will want to kick on from here, and use the experience gained from the past 12 months to try and take Shakhtar to the next level in Europe and also cut out the hiccups that have followed their Champions League fixtures.

In between their games against Roma, Shakhtar were very fortunate to escape Crimea with all three points against Sevastopol, while after the second leg they lost 1-0 at Karpaty. Upon their return from Camp Nou last month they suffered their first ever defeat at the Donbass Arena to 10-man Obolon, ending the club’s 55-match unbeaten home run and a last-minute winner was required to overcome Tavriya Simferopol after Barcelona beat them in Donetsk.

They will of course strengthen, hopefully at the same time being able to retain their key players and build a side capable of proving this European run was no fluke.

Once again at the weekend Akhmetov affirmed it is his ambition to one day see Shakhtar win the Champions League.

That might sound chimerical, especially after falling so far short against Barcelona in the quarterfinals, but he is an astute president who has been patient and for the most, invested wisely to create Ukraine’s pre-eminent team, on and off the field.

Few could doubt they have the most aesthetically pleasing style in Ukraine; it’s good, attacking football that’s easy on the eye and centred around an attacking quartet of exciting Brazilians stuck on top of an eastern European defensive backline, but it is very “un-Ukrainian”, if you could draw one criticism.

Premier League rules state clubs must start with no more than seven foreign players, while perhaps Lucescu’s optimum first XI contains just that defensive triangle of Andriy Pyatov in goal and the centre-back pairing of Dmytro Chygrynskiy and Yaroslav Rakytskiy, with the possibility of Olexiy Gai in central midfield in place of Shakhtar’s Czech international Tomáš Hübschman.

Recently Metalist’s Brazilian midfielder Edmar, who arrived in Ukraine at Tavriya in the 2003/04 season was naturalised to free up another a space for a foreigner and it’s a practice not uncommon in Russia.

There was talk of playmaker Jádson following suit, but his call up to the Brazilian national team has scuppered that, leaving Shakhtar’s hierarchy bemoaning the fact they call a player “foreign” who is in his seventh season at the club.

They do have some talented youngsters though and for all the condemnation of being “un-Ukrainian”, Akhmetov’s patient approach must again be commended.

Considerable investment has been made in the long-term future of Shakhtar and in the club’s academy, whose under-21 side won the youth championship with a 5-1 victory in their own Donetsk derby against Metalurh. There was just one Brazilian in that side, 20-year-old midfielder Bruno. For the first team, the season isn't over quite yet though.

There's a cup semi-final against Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk this coming Wednesday, a club themselves with a wealthy owner in Ihor Kolomoisky, second only to Akhmetov in Ukraine’s rich list who has recruited Juande Ramos to challenge the big two’s hegemony over the Champions League places.

Win that, and there’s the possibility of a grudge match against Dynamo in the final on May 25 if Semin’s side overcome Arsenal in the Kyiv derby.

Semin will want some silverware in his first season back at the club, while Shakhtar want revenge for that thumping defeat in Kyiv, and what better way than by winning the double in Sumy?

Dynamo win the battle, but Shakhtar will win the war

2011-05-04T11:02:00Z

It was a grudge match between two old foes who dominate the league. It featured a wonderful goal from a Ballon d’Or winner. It was an ill-tempered affair at times. It saw a wily manager red carded. It had oodles of controversy.

Dynamo Kyiv’s 3-0 win over Shakhtar Donetsk had much in common with last week’s El Clasico, then, save for the excessive histrionics.

By the time the winter break came about Mircea Lucescu’s side had established a 12-point lead over Dynamo, so there was a sense of it being when, not if, Shakhtar would win their sixth Premier League title in Ukraine as we reached the business end of the season.

‘When’ could have been Sunday.

Shakhtar needed only a point at the Valeriy Lobanovskiy Stadium for Dynamo to suffer the ignominy of seeing their archrivals win the championship on their turf.

In the first half of the season Dynamo stuttered under the stewardship of Russian coach Valeriy Gazzaev, with the team seemingly lacking cohesion as a unit. At the second attempt his resignation was accepted, after defeat to Moldova’s Sheriff Tiraspol in the Europa League group stages last September.

Much credit should be given to Oleh Luzhny, who steadied the ship as interim manager, guiding Dynamo out of the Europa League group stages. Then Yuri Semin returned to take charge of the club he left in 2009 for another of his former sides, Lokomotiv Moscow.

The 63-year-old’s tenure began successfully and Shakhtar have struggled to adapt with the transition between Champions League football and domestic affairs in the new year, yet that huge gap between the two remained more or less intact as the season wore on.

Had Dynamo capitalised on Shakhtar’s dropped points, we could have had something resembling a title race.

The defeat in Kyiv on Sunday means Darijo Srna will most probably lift the trophy in front of Shakhtar’s fans in another derby this coming Saturday, when Metalurh Donetsk visit the Donbass Arena.

Things started badly for Shakhtar, as Oleh Gusev converted a dubiously awarded first-half penalty to give Dynamo the lead. Srna was adjudged to have fouled Andriy Shevchenko, a decision the Croatian later said "ruined" the game.

But controversy raged even before a ball had been kicked, which is to be expected given that Ukrainian football politics is something of a minefield.

The rivalry between clubs’ wealthy owners came to the fore again last week when Dynamo ramped up ticket prices ahead of Shakhtar’s visit, irking them somewhat, who subsequently reimbursed their travelling fans the 50 per cent difference.

In 2009 Shakhtar’s president Rinat Akhmetov clashed with the Football Federation of Ukraine’s head, Hryhory Surkis, who happens to be brother to Dynamo’s chairman, Ihor Surkis. The attack was over a similar issue surrounding the cost of watching the national team’s World Cup play-off against Greece at the Donbass Arena.

"Unfortunately, your mind and conscience are guided by the opportunity of earning $4.6 million. To my great sorrow, you are not bothered about whether the Donbass Arena will be full or not on November 18," said Akhmetov on Shakhtar’s website.

Reduced tickets were made available for his club’s fans, something the FFU’s press service dismissed as a "cheap propaganda trick".

Shakhtar were missing Dmytro Chygrynskiy, Jadson and Luiz Adriano at the weekend, but improved after going behind to a Dynamo side who have seen that ‘new manager bounce’ come to an end in recent matches.

Dynamo overcame Besiktas and Manchester City in the Europa League and domestically there was a marked improvement, but a lot of the good work he achieved in his first spell at the club was undone by Gazzaev. There is a rebuilding job to be done, even if the league table shows they’ve only conceded four more goals than Shakhtar and have scored one more.

Their former midfielder Oleksandr Aliyev has followed Semin back from Lokomotiv and will prove to be a good piece of business, while the Russian has spoken of bringing in a forward in the mould of Edin Dûeko to bolster the front line.

But it was the veteran striker Andriy Shevchenko who doubled their advantage against Shakhtar, after his partner Artem Milevskiy capitalised on Mykola Ishchenko’s error to feed the 2004 Ballon d’Or winner on the edge of the box, who sent a delightful chip over Andriy Pyatov.

Moments earlier Shakhtar had nearly pulled level when Oleksandr Shovkovskiy pulled off a superb reaction save from Eduardo, and Razvan Rat also struck the crossbar.

It got worse for the visitors, though.

Referee Yuriy Mozharovskiy showed Lucescu a red card after he and his assistant Alexandru Spiridon were involved in a heated debate with the fourth official. The Romanian had to watch the remainder of the game from the tunnel, and refused to participate in the post-match press conference.

"Since I was sent off there is no point in making any comments about the match," was all the 65-year-old would say afterwards. 

Gusev sealed the three points with a late flick after Yaroslav Rakitskiy lost the ball on left, which should ensure Dynamo claim the second place they need to play Champions League football next season. It’s not often you see an airkick and a backheel in highlights of one goal.

Metalist Kharkiv have been snapping at Dynamo’s heels throughout the campaign and their battle has been with Myron Markevich’s side for second, rather than with Shakhtar for first, who are eight points clear of Dynamo with three rounds remaining.

It means their only realistic chance of picking up any silverware this season is in the Ukrainian Cup, hardly a competition the big clubs care for too much.

Still, a trophy is a trophy, and if they beat Arsenal Kyiv in the semi-final next week they’ll face either Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk, managed by one Juande Ramos, eager to win something in his first season in Ukraine, or set up another juicy fixture against Shakhtar.

The nucleus of a good side is there for Semin and with a couple of additions in the summer they should push Shakhtar far harder next season.

RESULTS Fri 29 Tavriya Simferopol 0-0 Volyn Lutsk; Sat 30 Metalurh Donetsk 1-5 Arsenal Kyiv; Metalist Kharkiv 1-1 Karpaty Lviv; Obolon Kyiv 2-0 Illychivets Mariupil; Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk 3-0 Metalurh Zaporizhya; Sun 1 Kryvbas Kryvyi Rih 3-1 Sevastopol; Vorskla Poltava 1-0 Zorya Luhansk; Dynamo Kyiv 3-0 Shakhtar Donetsk

Moldovan refs threaten to boycott matches over alleged intimidation

2011-04-27T10:11:00Z

Thirty-four – the number of Moldovan referees whose names appeared on a missive sent to the Federaţia Moldovenească de Fotbal at the weekend threatening to withdraw their services from fixtures involving either Dacia Chişinău or Zimbru Chişinău.

It comes after two officials allege they faced intimidation ahead of crucial matches at the top of the Divisia Naţională.

“I was told that if I didn’t follow certain decisions in that match something could happen to my family,” said Vlad Ivancenco on Moldovan television last week, describing a text message the 42-year-old claims to have received prior to taking charge of league leaders Dacia Chişinău’s game against Rapid Ghidighici.

Gheorghe Malinovschii replaced Ivancenco at the Stadionul Sătesc last week for the 0-0 draw, with the latter announcing his retirement from the game.

“It was a clear threat to my family so I decided to stop right away. I’ve already informed the national federation about my decision,” he revealed.

Not the only one to speak out, Ivancenco’s compatriot Ghennady Sidenco also complained of intimidation, more specifically from someone attached to Zimbru Chişinău in a phone call on the eve of the Moldovan El Clásico between Igor Dobrovolskiy’s side and Sheriff Tiraspol, and revealed he had ordered his wife and daughter not to leave their family home on the day of the match.

These are claims the eight-times champions - along with the other three clubs - vehemently deny, and they have threatened the FIFA official with legal action if he does not issue an apology.

The 38-year-old did officiate Zimbru Chişinău’s 1-0 win in the derby, but informed the FMF afterwards he no longer wished to be considered for the remainder of the season, claiming it would be impossible to work under such pressure from clubs.

Sidenco and Ivancenco were surprising choices for such pivotal fixtures.

Ivancenco, who was issued with a two-match ban last year for poor refereeing, was the man in the middle for Dacia Chişinău’s 0-0 draw with Milsami Orhei earlier in the season when Sidenco entered his dressing room at half-time to discuss the game, something he himself was disqualified for.

Sidenco also sent off Zimbru Chisinau’s Vadim Cravcescu in their 1-0 defeat at Sheriff Tiraspol on matchday 29.

Ivancenco may not have been the man in the middle, but Dacia Chişinău’s draw with Rapid Ghidighici still not without controversy. Dacia had wanted to film the match from five different positions to analyse replacement referee Malinovschii’s performance from every angle, but two days before the match a notice appeared on Rapid’s website stating that representatives from the media could only bring one camera; not that it stopped Dacia from appraising Malinovschii’s performance, with the club posting YouTube clips of controversial decisions on their own website after the game.

This piece of playacting from Tudor Starciuc was hardly the most convincing you’ll see this season, but it didn’t even warrant a yellow card…

They claim Baba Collins wasn't offside here…

Dacia Chisinau question why advantage wasn't played after this foul…

And they queried what infringement Malinovschii spotted here...

And here…

Plus here…

This offside irked them somewhat…

These are certainly very interesting times for Moldovan football.

Sheriff Tiraspol have been Divisia Naţională champions 10 seasons running but currently sit second, four points behind Rohan Ricketts’ former side Dacia Chisinau with five games remaining in a campaign blighted by controversy that has also seen the Ministry of Internal Affairs called in.

Transparency International’s corruption perception index last year ranked Moldova 105th in the world and rumours and accusations of wrong-doing have been flying about throughout the season.

The owners of both Olimpia Bălţi and Nistru Otaci threatened to withdraw their teams from the championship amid refereeing controversies, while Dacia Chişinău sent a formal letter of complaint to Prime Minister Vlad Filat earlier this month.

Sheriff Tiraspol had the chance to close the gap to a point with a win against Academia UTM Chişinău yesterday afternoon, but slipped to a 1-0 defeat. Whether it’s Andrei Sosnitski’s side claiming an 11th league title in a row or current leaders Dacia Chişinău winning their first, for many people, this will be a season remembered for what happened off the pitch, rather than on it.

Valery Karpin half-resigns as Spartak slump to the bottom of the pile

2011-04-20T08:33:00Z

Well, the only way is up for whoever succeeds Valery Karpin as manager of Spartak Moscow.

Shortly after the 42-year-old tendered his resignation to the club’s board on Monday afternoon, Tom Tomsk recorded their first win of the new season away at Spartak Nalchik, allowing Valeri Nepomniachi’s side to leapfrog the Muscovites and send Russia’s most successful, most popular team to the bottom of the Premier League table after five rounds of matches.

Karpin joined “the people’s club” as director general in 2008, a role which he combined with that of manager after Michael Laudrup’s dismal reign was brought to an end the following year, in spite of having no previous coaching experience. He will now return to his director general position.

"It was decided to look for a new coach. That is a job for the general director, and I will do that now,” Karpin said yesterday. “I was ready to leave the post anyway, but the board would not consider it."

Initially the signs were good for Karpin and Spartak, who finished the 2009 season in second place and followed that up with a quarterfinal appearance in the Champions League the following year.

Finally, it seemed for Spartak’s fans, that decade-long wait for a league title was over.

There’s been a grim inevitability to all this for some time now though, even before that 4-0 defeat to Rostov on the opening day of the season.

The deficiencies of Spartak’s game, especially in defence, were on display for all to see last season as the club finished outside of the Champions League places, while four points from five games this campaign suggested they wouldn't be making a return to the top three any time soon unless there was a change.

Karpin pointed out recently they were the only Russian club to reach the quarterfinals of the Europa League, but they were humbled 10-3 on aggregate by Porto.

After the first leg, Aiden McGeady admitted “nobody was playing as a team”; Karpin gave himself three games to turn things round.

There were just 8,000 fans inside the Luzhniki Stadium to see a dour 0-0 draw with Ruud Gullit’s Terek Grozny – a side hardly pulling up trees in the Premier League themselves – then the 5-2 defeat to Porto in Moscow followed.

At the weekend Anzhi Makhachkala, Roberto Carlos’ new club, recorded their first ever win over Spartak, prompting his resignation, but Karpin will be on the bench for tonight’s cup match against Krasnodar while the search for a new manager continues.

For some time now Spartak have been as predictable as a fruit machine, while having weaknesses at the back and in midfield which he has failed to adequately address.

Certainly in attack he has the personnel to harm teams. McGeady had a superb first season in Russia and the creative Brazilian midfielder Alex is key for them, likewise his fellow countryman Welliton (below) – a striker who’s been free-scoring for the past two seasons - but a heel injury has seen the goals dry up, piling the pressure on Karpin.

He also has at his disposal talented youngsters like Jano Aninidze and Emin Makhmudov.

The Brazilian Ibson shields the backline, but they lack presence in the midfield, someone alongside him who can roll up their sleeves and do the dirty work, which in turn then leaves a porous back four exposed.

Soslan Dzhanaev lost his place in goal to the Ukrainian Andriy Dykan last season and that seemed to steady the ship at first, though Spartak have become infuriatingly inconsistent.

Claudio Ranieri’s name was mentioned a while back as a possible successor to Karpin. But Spartak have had their fingers burnt in the past employing foreign managers, and the difficulty those from outside of the region face in attempting to succeed in the Premier League could lead Leonid Fedun, the club’s chairman, to opt for a Russian.

Indeed, Sovetsky Sport yesterday claimed Andrey Kobelev, who managed Dinamo Moskva from 2006 until last year, will succeed Karpin.

Things are viewed through the prism of history at Spartak, who won 12 league titles in the Soviet era and nine more after the dissolution of the USSR, but the last of them came in 2001 and the club haven't won a major honour since 2003.

The fans covet success, but there’s a need for stability and to bring in someone for the long term to arrest this slide; the two aren’t always easy to balance out though.

For Spartak, it’s imperative Fedun gets this next appointment right.

Shakhtar’s undefeated home record comes to an end

2011-04-11T14:10:00Z

There may well have been a sore head or two among the ranks of the Obolon Kyiv team yesterday morning.

The club’s president Oleksandr Slobodyan holds a similar position at Ukraine’s largest brewery, also called Obolon, so the 54-year-old surely had the ale flowing freely after their shock 1-0 victory over Shakhtar Donetsk at the Donbass Arena on Saturday.

That long, unbeaten home record Mircea Lucescu’s side are so proud of dates back to 2008 and was always going to come to an end at some point of course; it’s just that no one foresaw defeat in Donetsk to more modest opposition in the form of Obolon though.

After the 5-1 thrashing Barcelona meted out last week at Camp Nou, it seemed most likely it would be the artistry of Lionel Messi and co. that would confine Shakhtar’s impressive run to the annals of history.

These are supposed to be times of celebration in eastern Ukraine. Next month will be the Pitmen’s 75th anniversary and there was a procession of trophies the club have won before kickoff, but it was a chorus of boos that resonated around the stadium at the final whistle.

There were just four minutes left on the clock when up stepped Serhiy Kucherenko, a 27-year-old in his first Premier League season, to curl a superb free-kick into the top corner of Rustam Khudzhamov’s goal and bring Shakhtar’s 55-match undefeated home streak to an unexpected halt.

Lucescu was looking for a reaction from his team after that heavy defeat in Cataluña and there was added spice to Obolon’s visit after the Kyivites had beaten Shakhtar in an ill-tempered encounter last September that saw Fernandinho suffer a broken leg.

The Romanian’s player certainly didn’t act as though they were a wounded animal however.

Predictably there were changes to the starting line-up – eight, to be precise – two of them enforced with Willian and Luiz Adriano suspended, and this was by no means a Shakhtar side at full strength. That’s not to take anything away from Serhiy Kovalets’ team though.

There was the usual blend of youth and experience, plus three Brazilians occupying attacking positions; four, if you include Eduardo.

The former Arsenal striker saw a header saved by the visitors’ goalkeeper Oleksandr Rybka after running unmarked from deep and Jadson hit a post with an effort from outside the box, but they didn’t dominate the game like they are used to at the Donbass Arena, even after the introduction of Darijo Srna and Henrikh Mkhitaryan at the interval.

Obolon also played a third of the match with 10 men after Vadym Panas was shown a second yellow for playing on after the referee’s whistle had gone when he was incorrectly flagged offside in the 63rd minute.

An ankle injury forced Rybka off too, giving 21-year-old Ihor Berezovsky a debut in goal for Obolon, but Shakhtar couldn’t score, despite a mountain of injury time pulled from somewhere and they were condemned to a first defeat at the Donbass Arena, and the first in Donetsk since Sporting Lisbon’s 1-0 victory on 22 October 2008.

"The Brazilians displayed probably their poorest performance during their spell at Shakhtar," said Lucescu afterwards.

"Obolon deserved this victory. They were fighting from beginning to end. For Douglas [Costa] and [Alex] Teixeira this should be an example. Anyone who considers the Ukrainian championship easy is profoundly mistaken. This is a very tough championship where you have to show not only your technical abilities, but also fighting qualities."

In many respects, these two clubs are worlds apart.

Shakhtar have a big budget, a world-class training base, an ultramodern stadium that will host Euro 2012 matches and a multinational squad fit to grace it.

While Obolon, founded in 1992, have a stadium of just 5,100 in a residential area of northern Kyiv that will be used as a training base for next summer’s European Championships and they don’t have a single foreign player at the club. Obolon also have one of the Premier League’s smallest budgets.

But Kovalets’ players are a highly-motivated bunch, especially when it comes to facing the big sides. They are eighth in the 16-team league with 30 points; six of them taken from Shakhtar, four off their city rivals Dynamo Kyiv.

It was an opportune time for Obolon to be facing Shakhtar, who've struggled somewhat domestically after they’ve played in Europe and there would have been something resembling a title race had Dynamo been able to capitalise on their slip-ups.

Shakhtar made hard work of beating a relegation-threatened Sevastopol 1-0 between the two legs of their clash with Roma in the Champions League last month and lost by the same scoreline to Karpaty Lviv in Halychyna afterwards.

But Yuri Semin’s side were beaten by Juande Ramos’ Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk the week after Shakhtar’s loss in Lviv and suffered a European hangover of their own yesterday with a 1-1 draw away to the league’s bottom side Metalurh Zaporizhya.

Had they won both of them, Dynamo would have been six points behind Shakhtar with Lucescu’s team due to visit the Valeriy Lobanovskiy Dynamo Stadium later this month.

The 11-point gap between the two looks insurmountable now with six matches remaining, even if Shakhtar don’t have the easiest of run-ins; it doesn’t appear as though they’ll have the Champions League as a distraction after Barcelona’s visit to Ukraine this week either.

To cap a miserable few days for Lucescu, centre-back Dmytro Chygrynskiy’s injury was worse than initially expected and club captain Srna pulled up with a thigh strain not long after being introduced as a substitute on Saturday afternoon.

RESULTS Fri 8 Zorya Luhansk 0-2 Metalist Kharkiv; Sat 9 Sevastopol 4-1 Volyn Lutsk, Shakhtar Donetsk 0-1 Obolon Kyiv, Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk 2-0 Vorskla Poltava, Arsenal Kyiv 1-2 Tavriya Simferopol; Sun 10 Metalurh Zaporizhya 1-1 Dynamo Kyiv, Karpaty Lviv 3-1 Illychivets Mariupil, Kryvbas Kryvyi Rih 1-0 Metalurh Donetsk.

Everything looking rosy for the Georgian Geordie

2011-03-28T16:36:00Z

The advertising hoardings at the Boris Paichadze National Stadium escaped the kind of treatment once famously meted out by Georgia’s manager Temuri Ketsbaia to the St. James’s Park signage after Levan Kobiashvili scored a last-minute winner against Croatia on Saturday.

It was just a corner flag on the receiving end of a kick from an exuberant Aleksandr Amisulashvili in Tbilisi, but this was nevertheless a goal celebrated with great gusto by the Georgian Geordie and his players.

Kobiashvili’s strike gave his manager a 1-0 win and three vital, albeit slightly fortuitous, Euro 2012 qualifying points.

Ketsbaia was greeted by a round of applause when he entered the room for his post-match press conference, and the streets of the capital were filled with jubilant fans honking their car horns and waving the red and white Georgian flag after the game.

Georgia are third in Group F, one point off Croatia and two behind leaders Greece, who escaped from Malta with three slightly fortuitous points of their own following a 92nd minute goal from Vassilis Torossidis in the Ta' Qali National Stadium at the weekend.

Ketsbaia makes a name for himself in England back in 1998

A first ever appearance at a major international tournament isn't beyond the realms of impossibility for Georgia.

On a personal level for Ketsbaia, victory against Croatia continued his unbeaten run as manager since succeeding Héctor Cúper, whose dismal reign ended with an embarrassing 6-2 defeat away to Bulgaria in 2009.

Georgia picked up just three points from their 10 qualifying matches for the 2010 World Cup under the Argentine; with Ketsbaia at the helm they’ve amassed triple that in half the games.

The Georgian Football Federation turned to one of their own after going down the foreign manager route, and it seemed to go almost unnoticed outside of the Caucasus that the Jvarosnebi were undefeated in the eight matches they played last year, three of which came against sides who also travelled to South Africa last summer.

With the weekend’s win against Croatia, plus a victory earlier in the year against an Armenian side who are themselves experiencing something of an upturn in fortunes, that’s 10 without loss for Ketsbaia.

Croatia will feel aggrieved they didn’t take at least a point away from Tbilisi however.

They certainly enjoyed more of the ball and limited Georgia to mostly counterattacks, but for all their possession, Slaven Bilić’s side were unable to find a way past Nukri Revishvili in goal for the home side and as the game wore on a draw seemed the most likely outcome.

But Georgia sneaked the winner in the dying moments when Jaba Kankava tossed forward a ball into the Croatian box that found Otar Martsvaladze, who fed an unmarked Kobiashvili to fire past Vedran Runje. It was perhaps their only effort on target all night.

There’s been a definite improvement in Georgia’s play and although it’s debatable as to just how much credence you can give to FIFA’s world ranking system, this progression is reflected in their status. Under Ketsbaia Georgia have risen from the lowly 124th Cúper left them in up to 72nd in little over a year.

He has at his disposal a good crop of players combining youth and experience, but the key to this renaissance has been sorting out the defensive side of Georgia’s game. In the ten matches since conceding six in Sofia, Georgia have leaked just five goals.

You can argue of course they haven't faced a Brazil, or an Italy or a Spain, but it nevertheless represents tangible progress for a team who’d shipped 22 goals and kept just one clean sheet in their previous 10 outings.

Anzhi Makhachkala’s Revishvili has started all of Georgia’s qualifying games and with Genoa’s Kakhaber Kaladze, Zurab Khizanishvili of Blackburn Rovers and Lasha Salukvadze, once of Rubin Kazan and now at Volga Nizhny Novgorod in Russia, there’s plenty of old heads to call upon at the back. Likewise with the veteran Kobiashvili in midfield.

Kobiashvili, Gogita Gogua and David Siradze celebrate victory

Missing at the weekend was Spartak Moskva’s highly-rated youngster Jano Ananidze, who has been attracting the attention of some of Europe’s biggest clubs. Capable of playing behind the strikers or on either flank, the 18-year-old is the youngest scorer in the Russian Premier League and was voted Georgia’s player of the year in 2009.

He made his debut for the senior squad against Italy in September 2009 and will be a big part of Georgia’s future.

Up front, leading the line is Aleksandr Iashvili, now 33, while Ketsbaia also has 24-year-old Vladimir Dvalishvili and Spartak Nalchik’s David Siradze, their top scorer in this qualifying campaign with two.

They might not reach the finals of Euro 2012, or even get a result in Tel Aviv against Israel tomorrow evening, but Ketsbaia has indubitably gone some way to making good on the words he spoke when accepting the job.

"We have decent resources and if we use them in a proper way we can play good football,” he stated in November 2009.

“I will not promise to guide the team to a major tournament in two, four or six years, but we will fight for it. I want a call-up to the national side to be a joy for all the players, not torture."

FC Krasnodar continue to rise and rise as Chelsea old boys struggle

2011-03-21T14:40:00Z

The beginning of the new Premier League season in Russia hasn't been plain sailing for two of Chelsea’s old boys.

Ruud Gullit’s Terek Grozny have lost both of their fixtures without scoring - although admittedly they were against Zenit St Petersburg and Rubin Kazan - while Dan Petrescu has endured a difficult few days at Kuban Krasnodar, although things at least took a turn for the better for the Romanian on Sunday.

After defeat in Kuban’s first match to Gurban Berdiýew’s bus-parkers from Kazan (he’s promised us a more expansive game this season from Rubin) and Nikola Nikezić making some pretty sensational allegations surrounding the termination of his contract with the club last week, Russia’s yo-yo team put three points on the board yesterday with a 1-0 win in Siberia against Tom Tomsk.

Kuban aren’t the only newly promoted side from Krasnodar in the Premier League this season, however.

They’re joined at Russian football’s top table by FC Krasnodar, despite the club only being founded in 2007 and, perhaps more interestingly, finishing fifth in the First Division last season, three positions and 10 points below the league’s runners-up Volga Nizhny Novgorod in the second promotion spot.

Wealthy Krasnodar stepped in to fill the void left by Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast’s financial demise, leapfrogging Nizhny Novgorod and KAMAZ Naberezhnye Chelny who finished above them last season in the process, much to the pair’s chagrin.

They don’t have their own stadium, much history or a sizeable fan base - and in 2008 Krasnodar wangled a promotion out of the Second Division in not-too-dissimilar circumstances, but they are privately owned however.

Krasnodar’s chairman is local-boy-done-good, budget supermarket billionaire Sergey Galitsky. Private ownership is something the Premier League are keen to encourage, instead of the state-run system prevalent in Russia - and with Galitsky’s cash, Krasnodar are unlikely to suffer the same fate as Saturn in 2010 and FC Moskva the year before.

Last year Galitsky occupied 342nd spot on Forbes’ rich list with an estimated $2.9 billion and despite owning Magnit, the budget supermarket chain, the 42-year-old hasn’t been thrifty where Krasnodar are concerned and the club have some top class facilities.

Plus he’s recruited the experienced Serbian Slavoljub Muslin as manager and a decent crop of players in an attempt to establish Krasnodar as a Premier League side.

But it was Igor Picuşceac, part of the team that played in the First Division, who became the answer to a quiz question in southern Russia at the weekend.

The Moldovan got his head on the end of an inviting Dušan Anđelković cross to score Krasnodar’s first ever Premier League goal on Saturday in their 2-0 win against Spartak Nalchik 10 minutes before half time.

Last season in Russia’s second tier Krasnodar conceded 44 goals - just one less than the other two other promoted clubs combined - and Spartak Nalchik were the fourth highest scorers under Yuri Krasnozhan in 2010, but Muslin has assembled a new-look back four of Anđelković, Aleksandr Amisulashvili, Nemanja Tubić and Ognjen Vranješ, which seemed fairly robust after the visitors applied some early pressure and it transpired to be a good win for the home side, who played well after the break.

The 27-year-old Picuşceac turned provider in the second half for Krasnodar’s new Armenian signing Yura Movsisyan to score in the 70th minute and seal the victory.

That makes it four points and two clean sheets from Krasnodar’s opening two games after they drew 0-0 away at Bobby Carlos’ nouveau-riche lot Anzhi Makhachkala on the first day of the season.

It means diddlysquat after a couple of matches into a 30-game season of course, but Krasnodar were top of the tree on Saturday evening until being usurped by Rubin yesterday.

The ambitious club were linked with Aliaksandr Hleb and Niko Kranjčar earlier in the year and although those rumours might well be baseless, Krasnodar do have a healthy budget with which to compete in the Premier League.

Tougher tasks lie ahead for them; the early signs are they won’t struggle though.

RESULTS Sat 19 FC Krasnodar 2-0 Spartak Nalchik, Dinamo Moskva 3-1 Rostov Sun 20 Tom Tomsk 0-1 Kuban Krasnodar, Amkar Perm 1-0 Lokomotiv Moskva, Rubin Kazan 2-0 Terek Grozny

FIXTURES Mon 21 Krylya Sovetov Samara P-P CSKA Moskva, Zenit St Petersburg v Anzhi Makhachkala, Spartak Moskva v Volga Nizhny Novgorod

Dynamo Kyiv '99: What happened next?

2011-03-17T17:12:00Z

Valeriy Lobanovskiy was a man with the Midas touch. “Golden generation” is a term bandied about all too freely these days, but the pioneering coach was able to forge great sides during each of his three spells in charge of Dynamo Kyiv between 1973 and 2002.

The Ukrainian won countless trophies, and it was under his stewardship that Dynamo became the first team from the Soviet Union to win a major European honour.

During his three reigns they won the Cup Winners’ Cup in 1975 and 1986 plus the Super Cup. And although in Lobanovskiy’s third stint at the club he was unable to bring a European trophy back to Ukraine, Dynamo’s run to the semi-finals of the Champions League in the 1998/99 season was nevertheless an incredible achievement by a crop of players who could justifiably say they lived up to the oft-used "golden" moniker.

In the group stages Dynamo finished ahead of Lens, Arsenal (off whom they took four points) and Panathinaikos. They then put Real Madrid to the sword in the quarter-finals before being drawn against Bayern Munich in the semis.

The team line up in Madrid

And it could have been the Ukrainians, not the Germans, facing Manchester United in the Camp Nou in 1999. Dynamo were 3-1 up in the first legat a sell-out NSC Olympiyskiy Stadion, but two late goals brought Bayern level. Mario Basler’s superb strike in Munich dumped Lobanovskiy’s side out 4-3 on aggregate.

Quarter-finalists the year before, the Kyiv team oozed quality – and like United and Bayern they were hunting the treble, having won the league and cup in Ukraine that season.

The German champions had a team brimming with talent: Oliver Kahn, Lothar Matthäus and Stefan Effenberg were part of a star-studded Bayern side pushed all the way over two legs, and it was a case of what could have been for Ukraine’s most successful club and manager.

Here’s Never Mind the Bolsheviks’ look at what the players who featured against Bayern Munich are up to now…

Goalkeeper: Oleksandr Shovkovskiy
A product of the club’s renowned academy, 'Sasha' made his Dynamo debut in 1994 and never left Kyiv: he's still their No.1 today, clocking up his 500th appearance at the weekend against Vorskla Poltava. Over the last 17 years he’s been part of 12 Vyscha Liha-winning teams. Upon Yuri Semin’s return as manager in December, the veteran Ukrainian shot-stopper was handed the captain’s armband, and is a superb role model for Maksym Koval, his prodigious teenager understudy whom big things are expected of.

Right-back: Oleh Luzhny
English fans perhaps didn’t get to see the best of Luzhny during his time at Arsenal and Wolves, but the right-back remains an immensely popular figure in Kyiv, where he won seven league titles. Luzhny had a year as player-coach at Venta Kuldīga in Latvia, but since 2006 the former Ukrainian international has been back at Dynamo as part of the coaching staff, and has twice stepped in as interim manager. The 42-year-old is currently Semin’s right-hand man.

Centre-back: Oleksandr Holovko
Holovko was part of the Tavriya Simferopol side that won the inaugural Vyscha Liha in 1992 and joined Dynamo three years later, making him the only player to have won the Ukrainian championship with two different clubs. Although once a target for Liverpool, Holovko never made it west: in fact, he went east for an ephemeral stint in China with Qingdao Jonoon in 2004, but returned to Tavriya the following year. He represented his country 58 times and is now the head coach of the Ukrainian under-19 national team.

Holovko and Husin watch that man Basler

Centre-back: Vladyslav Vashchuk
Now 36, Vashchuk is still playing in the Vyscha Liha with Volyn Lutsk, and bar a year with their Russian rivals Spartak Moskva, the centre-back has been ever-present in Ukraine’s top flight since joining Dynamo in the 1992/93 season. Vashchuk has also represented Chornomorets Odesa and FC Lviv, and won 61 caps for Ukraine, scoring once.

Left-back: Kakhaber Kaladze
Kaladze was one of three non-Ukrainians to line up against Bayern, and the Georgian's goal from Andriy Shevchenko’s free-kick put Dynamo two goals up in the first leg. In 2001 Khakha became Georgia’s most expensive ever footballer when he was bought for £12.2m by AC Milan, where he played for nine years. The 33-year-old transferred to Genoa in 2010 and recently signed a new two-year deal with the Serie A club.

Right midfield: Aleksandr Khatskevich
One of two Belarusians in the XI that night, Khatskevich won seven league titles while at Dynamo and was twice voted the Belarus player of the year. The midfielder was also another who went to the Far East. Khatskevich left Dynamo in 2004 and briefly played for Chinese outfit Tianjin Teda and then the Latvians Venta Ventspils, until he became player-coach at his first club, Dinamo Minsk in Belarus. After retiring from playing in 2007 Khatskevich managed the Belarus under-18 side and also Vitebsk. Since 2010 he has been on the coaching staff of Dynamo and the Ukrainian national team.

Central midfield: Valentin Belkevich
The other Belarusian in the starting XI, Dynamo’s influential playmaker went one better than his compatriot Khatskevich by winning eight league titles while at the club. Belkevich left at the end of the 2007/08 season to continue his career in Azerbaijan, but the 38-year-old was another old head brought back to Kyiv in 2010 to assist with coaching the youth team.

Central midfield: Andriy Husin
Husin stayed on in Kyiv even after many of the famous 1999 side departed, although he opted for pastures new himself with a move to Russia in 2005. He joined Krylya Sovetov Samara, where he began his coaching career, and he also spent time at Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast. The 38-year-old was working with Anzhi Makhachkala until Yuri Semin put out the call; Husin is now head coach of Dynamo-2.

Left midfield: Vitaliy Kosovskiy
Dynamo went 3-1 ahead in Kyiv after Kosovskiy’s pass into the Bayern box ricocheted back to him off of Samuel Kuffour for the winger smash the ball past Oliver Kahn. Kosovskiy made 25 appearances for Ukraine, but injury brought a premature end to his career at the age of 30 in 2003. He spent some time as a scout at Dynamo and worked as a youth coach with the national team, but is now the assistant manager of Dynamo Khmelnistkiy in the Druha Liha, Ukraine’s third tier.

Kosovskiy holds off Jens Jeremies

Centre-forward: Serhiy Rebrov
Dynamo’s forward line was one of the most feared on the continent, and Serhiy Rebrov is still the club’s leading scorer both domestically and in Europe. His goals earned him a big-money move to England, although like Luzhny, he never really reproduced his Dynamo form in London. Rebrov’s time at Tottenham Hotspur and West Ham United was without distinction, and eventually he returned to Ukraine. Since ending his career, Rebrov has been part of the backroom staff at Dynamo in various roles, and is currently assisting Semin with first team affairs.

Centre forward: Andriy Shevchenko
In his prime, Rebrov’s partner Andriy Shevchenko was one of the best strikers in the world. His goal against Manchester City in the first leg last week was his 67th in UEFA competitions, putting him behind only Filippo Inzaghi and Raúl in the list of all-time scorers in Europe. The prolific Ukrainian international was another pupil of Dynamo’s academy and joined AC Milan in 1999, where he spent seven years and won the prestigious Ballon d’Or award. After an unsuccessful spell with Chelsea (and then another at Milan), in 2009 he was brought back to Dynamo by Valeriy Gazzaev. He remains a key figure both on and off the pitch.

Substitutes:
Oleksandr Kyryukhin (who came on for Aleksandr Khatskevich in Kyiv) was never a regular at Dynamo and left the club the following year, enduring a nomadic career in Ukraine and Russia. Once a beach football player, Kyryukhin is no longer involved in the game.
Vasyl Kardash (who replaced Andriy Husin in the second leg) left Dynamo in 2003 for their city rivals Arsenal Kyiv, where the 38-year-old spent three seasons. A year at Zakarpattia Uzhhorod followed until his retirement in 2006. Sometimes appearing on Ukrainian television as a pundit, he also manages FC Maestro, a celebrity football team comprised mainly of musicians.

Manager: Valeriy Lobanovskiy
Few would disagree that Valeriy Lobanovskiy was one of the most influential managers of the modern era. The pioneering coach was renowned for his scientific approach to the game and was a shrewd tactician and strict disciplinarian. Between 1973 and 2002 Lobanovskiy had three spells in charge of Dynamo, winning a clutch of trophies in the Soviet era and in post-independent Ukraine, including two Cup Winners’ Cup and the European Super Cup.
Lobanovskiy spent time in the Middle East and also took charge of the USSR and Ukrainian national teams, but returned to Kyiv in 1997. He was in ill health during his third stint at Dynamo and collapsed in the dugout towards the end of a match against Metalurh Zaporizhzhya and was subsequently diagnosed with a brain haemorrhage. Lobanovskiy died on 13 May 2002, aged 63.

Kuban striker claims manhandling by hired goons forced contract cancellation

2011-03-16T16:00:00Z

Burly Russian chaps administering a kicking, guns and blackmail; it all sounds very 007 and definitely not goings-on you’d expect at a football club, but things look like they could get very ugly for Dan Petrescu and chums at Kuban Krasnodar in the not-too-distant future.

Everyone got tremendously excited this week when the gang at Kommersant got their mitts on a very interesting letter penned by the club’s now ex-forward Nikola Nikezić to the bigwigs at UEFA and FIFA, in which he made some pretty astonishing allegations regarding the “mutual” termination of his contract with the newly-promoted Premier League team.

The 29-year-old claims he was duffed up by a couple of goons at their training ground last week, and under duress made to prematurely call time on his career in Krasnodar.

Nikezić joined Kuban from the French side Le Havre on a two-year deal in 2009, which was due to run out this coming November. Last season he made 31 appearances for the club, scoring four goals, but Nikezić had fallen out of favour in Krasnodar and they preferred it if he exited pretty sharpish, rather than stuck around while he found new employers.

As does its league (for now), the Russian transfer window operates on a slightly different calendar to western Europe, which closed some time ago, so opportunities for the Montenegrin were slim. Even for Russian clubs, a player approaching 30 on a decent salary who hadn’t been involved in any meaningful preseason training isn't exactly an attractive prospect.

"I signed a two-year deal with Kuban in March 2010 and helped the club to win promotion into the Premier League last year," Nikezić told Kommersant. "This year, however, I was told the club didn't need me any more, offering to break up the contract, but I refused."

Nikezić alleges it then all turned rather nasty at Kuban’s training ground on March 7.

“I refused and after a few minutes two men of strong built [sic] entered the room, following which, the trainer immediately left the room, leaving the three of us alone. One of the men put the papers in front of me and in an aggressive manner demanded from me that I sign the papers terminating the employment contract.” Nikezić said in his letter sent to both Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini.

“When I replied that my contract has another year to run, and that these negotiations are to be carried out in presence [sic] of my representatives, I received a powerful blow to the liver. The second man, who was in the office, took off his jacket, and under it I saw two pistols in a holster. They once again demanded I sign the documents, and when I refused, I received a second powerful blow to the same spot."

No, not these Goons...

“They started to strangle me, and threatened to make an invalid out of me, and then proceeded to ask me to sign the documents. This continued for around 20 minutes, until I was left with no energy and a great fear for my life. I signed three copies of the agreement and two documents, the content of which is unknown to me since in was in Russian (my original contact with FC “Kuban” was in English and Russian).”

He finished: “As soon as I signed the documents, they took everything and left the room. On the way out one of the men turned to me and said, ‘a lot of Russians live in Montenegro, and they can always find you or a member of your family, so don’t do anything stupid’. The same day I took the photos with marks of the blow that I received (please see attached) and left Krasnodar since I was scared that the same people will attack me.”

Said images appeared on Sovetsky Sport’s website yesterday.

It’s worth mentioning at this point that the “trainer” the Montenegrin refers to isn't Dan Petrescu, but Nikolai Khlystunov, and the Romanian’s name hasn’t been brought up in the allegations.

Nikezić also stated to football’s governing bodies that rather than joining up with the first team squad on their preseason training camp in Turkey, he was put on a rather less glamorous schedule of a couple of two-hour jogs each day.

Handbags are out though and Kuban, whose president is Alexander Tkachyov, the governor of Krasnodar Krai (region) and an ally of Vladimir Putin, are threatening to sue Nikezić.

“Such lies and libel that was aimed at the club will not remain without due legal assessment,” responded their director-general Suren Mkrtchyan.

Nikezić legged it to Moscow after the alleged fisticuffs in Krasnodar, where he met up with the Union of Football Players and Coaches of Russia (PSFT), prompting him to fire off his missives to UEFA and FIFA.

“I don’t think the Russian Football Union will investigate this case properly, that is why I decided to go directly to FIFA and UEFA. I can’t let them get away with it. I demand sanctions are imposed on the football club,” he told Kommersant.

FIFPro claims Nikezić will be $230,000 out of pocket by exiting prematurely; Kuban’s budget for the year is purported to be around the $30m mark.

Their sporting director Sergei Doronchenko hit out at his claims. “It's clear that this football player and his acquaintances just want money from Kuban," he was quoted as saying by Championat.ru, a popular Russian sports website. "We are shocked by such news. … It's pure idiocy."

Things took a twist after Nikezić’s allegations surfaced when Sreten Sretenovic, a defender once of Kuban, chipped in with his two cents’ worth, claiming he also exited the club in controversial circumstances recently too. Cripes.

UEFA and FIFA really do need to get to the bottom of this, and soon; it can’t be swept under the carpet or left to linger. The affair could prove to be a real stern test for the Code of Conduct that was introduced not long ago in Russia too.

A meeting has been scheduled between the ethics committee and the PSFT on Friday, where Kuban representatives will also be present.

Stay tuned…

A Ruud awakening in Chechnya as Gullit suffers opening day defeat

2011-03-14T15:08:00Z

It may have been back in January that Ruud Gullit was appointed Terek Grozny manager, but even before the kick off of their 1-0 defeat to Zenit St Petersburg yesterday, Never Mind the Bolsheviks was still pinching itself to make sure this hadn’t all been some kind of very weird dream and that it really was Mr Sexy Football in the home dugout at the Sultan Bilimkhanov Stadium.

The Dutchman’s appointment came completely out of the blue.

Said the 1987 Ballon d’Or winner upon his arrival in Chechnya: “Does it seem awful to me? No, I've been in more awful, dangerous and impoverished regions.”

Well, he has been in charge of both Chelsea and Newcastle, so the chances are he’s been to Hull at least once during his time in England.

But after all the hype, the talk of a European spot, and that bonkers exhibition match against a team of veteran Brazilians (which Gullit himself played in), yesterday was when it all began to get serious. And like so many things that enjoy such a monumental build-up, it was a bit of a damp squib, really.

Terek improved as the match went on against the champions, it must be said, but they played a high line in the first half, looking susceptible to the visitors’ counterattacks, and were caught out in the 14th minute when Danny popped up unmarked on the left to cross for Danko Lazović to tap into the empty net. Zenit deservedly led at half-time.

The Chechens finished 11 places and 35 points behind Zenit last season, but Gullit can take some positives from yesterday, especially the second half, albeit in a game which was by no means a cracker; the early rounds rarely are in Russia though.

Terek had more of the ball after the break and certainly things were being played more in Zenit’s half. They were lacking something in the final third it seemed though, even after Rodrigo Tiuí and Musawengosi Mguni’s introduction.

How they could have done with Diego Forlan, or that mystery, English-based forward “among the top 10 strikers in the world" that Terek’s vice-president Khaydar Alkhanov spoke of not long after Gullit’s appointment.

Maybe he should plump for sticking club and Chechen president Ramzan Kadyrov as a big, burly target man up top (with everything that’s happened, it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise if Gullit did), even if his performance against Brazil 2002 for Team Grozny wasn't the best. Only an idiot would even think about scything down the former rebel fighter.

For Christ’s sake don’t let him take the penalties though...

It’s going to be interesting to see how Gullit fares in the Premier League, as generally foreign managers find it tough taking charge of any team, even the big ones, and he’ll experience a huge culture shock in Russia, not least Grozny, where it’s hard to attract top players.

That is perhaps the logic behind the Dutchman’s appointment, and the spondoolies provided by Bulat Chagaev, a Swiss-based Chechen, might help snare a few more big names.

You just have to look at Roberto Carlos’ transfer to Anzhi Makhachkala to see the calibre of Brazilians who’ve followed him.

Gullit missed out on his marquee signing, however. Anderlect’s Mbark Boussoufa seemed a done deal, Terek had even posted details on their website, but Gullit later said after the midfielder joined Bobby Carlos and co. in Dagestan: “he wanted 25 business class plane tickets, and four bodyguards.”

With billionaire Suleyman Kerimov's arrival at Anzhi and their subsequent transfers, including the talented Uzbek international Odil Akhmetov, you’d perhaps fancy them to sneak a spot in the top eight when the 16-team league splits in half after 30 games if everything clicks into place, rather than the Chechens.

But Terek have some good players and Gullit was given the proverbial “thumbs-up” by Zenit boss Luciano Spalletti after yesterday’s game.
Grozny is a tough place to go for visiting teams, and were it not for a dismal end to the season, they’d have finished higher than the 12th place they did in 2010.

Whatever happens, Gullit’s already gone one better than his predecessor, Victor Muñoz, who didn’t even set foot in Russia.

Terek announced the Spaniard would be taking charge in December (again on their website), but when it came to signing on the dotted line a few weeks later, the former Getafe manager claimed the Chechens had moved the goalposts and hopped it.

It was a tough start for Ruud, and it doesn’t get much easier next weekend either. It’s a trip to Kazan to face defensively-minded Rubin this coming Sunday.

Russia's runners and riders: all you need to know

2011-03-11T10:00:00Z

Huzzah! The Russian Premier League is back – bigger and, hopefully, better than ever before.

The bumper 44-game transitional season that ushers in a controversial calendar shift from Russia’s traditional summer schedule to an “autumn-spring” system more akin to the major western European leagues begins tomorrow.

Sixteen clubs will contest a 30-match regular season, where after the table splits in half for teams to resolve the title/European places and relegation issues.

You know the names: Ruud Gullit, Dan Petrescu, Roberto Carlos, Aiden McGeady and, er, Andriy Voronin. And the clubs, too. Zenit St Petersburg, Rubin Kazan and the Moscow teams will all have a say in matters at the top, but Terek Grozny and Anzhi Makhachkala both have big ambitions, backed up by big money.

Joining Never Mind the Bolsheviks to cast their expert eyes over things are Daniel Darby, Domm Norris and James Appell, who’ve come to offer their opinions on the 16 clubs competing in the Premier League this season.

AMKAR PERM
James: Amkar will want to draw a line under last season, in which the club survived in the Premier League by the skin of their teeth and almost suffered financial collapse. Unfortunately, despite coming under new private ownership, Amkar continue to walk an economic tightrope – a fact reflected in their very modest dealings in the winter transfer market.

In have come Bosnian defender Samir Merzić and Serbian midfielder Predrag Mijić, joining the likes of Bulgarians Georgi Peev and Zahari Sirakov, Macedonian Stevica Ristić and Montenegrin Mitar Novakovic in a kind of Perm-based Balkan love-in. But none of these players are big names, even by Russian Premier League standards – and the loss of their one talisman, striker Martin Kushev (another Bulgarian, incidentally), leaves Amkar possibly even weaker than last season. Relegation appears to beckon.

ANZHI MAKHACHKALA
Domm: It's difficult to know where to start to assess the progress of Anzhi Makhachkala. Here is a club who have firmly placed themselves in the 'nouveau riche' section of Russian football as the wealth of their new owner Suleyman Kerimov looks to throw them into the upper echelons of the Premier League.

Their significant economic gains have thrust Anzhi to the fore in the transfer market. The likes of Roberto Carlos, Jucilei and João Carlos have been enticed into moving to southern Russia in big-money moves which would have been near-impossible without Kermimov's financial clout.

The Brazilian influence in Makhachkala shows no signs of slowing as Atletico Mineiro’s prolific forward Diego Tardelli has also swapped South America for eastern Europe in a move that could be just as strong a statement of intent as the signing of Roberto Carlos. Mbark Boussoufa, the Moroccan, also arrived just as it seemed he would be signing up for Terek Grozny.

But with fresh faces earning vast sums of money comes the issue of squad unity and togetherness. Gadzhi Gadzhiev is the man tasked with ensuring Anzhi turn their star-studded team sheet into tangible performances – which is hoped will see them push for a place in Europe. Considering the money that has been spent, qualification for the Europa League will likely be the target.

Gadzhiev, while an extremely experienced coach, remains an unknown entity when it comes to heading a club pushing for the upper reaches of the table, as spells with Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast and Krylya Sovetov Samara in recent times testify. Gadzhiev and Kerimov's connection to Dagestan provides mutual respect between the two, but it wouldn't be surprising to see a different man in charge come the end of season if results take an unwanted downturn.

CSKA MOSKVA
Daniel: It was a case of too much, too little, too late for CSKA last year, and the big summer acquisitions only came when runaway leaders Zenit already had one hand on the trophy. How different things might have turned out had Vágner Love, Seydou Doumbia and Zoran Tošić rocked up in Moscow at the beginning rather than the middle of the campaign...

Additions this winter have been modest in comparison. The signing of centre-back Viktor Vasin on the back of a fine season at Spartak Nalchik allowed one to momentarily ruminate that someone might finally, heaven forbid, be set to challenge the CSKA central-defensive duopoly of Vasili Berezutsky and Sergei Ignashevich. But before you could say “Russian international call-up”, Vasin had torn cruciate knee ligaments in one of his very first training sessions, ruling him out until the summer at the earliest, and it was as you were.

The other arrival is that of Latvian international winger Aleksandrs Cauņa on loan from Skonto Riga. He too managed to injure himself in the build up to the new season, and even so, given the abundance of talent on the CSKA flanks, it’s difficult to see Cauņa as anything more than a back-up.
CSKA certainly look the best equipped side to challenge Zenit’s dominance of last season, but certain questions linger: can they keep hold of Doumbia and Keisuke Honda? How long before Vágner Love’s next sulk? Will Alan Dzagoev ever recapture his promise of a few years ago?

One change that has been welcomed is the sensible decision to relocate most home games to the Luzhniki, meaning fans no longer have to traipse their way north to traffic-clogged Khimki to see their heroes in action. Attendances look set to rise as a result, and CSKA will need all the support they can muster if they are to become the first Moscow club to lift the title since 2006.

DINAMO MOSKVA
James: Dinamo deserve some credit for sticking with coach Miodrag Božović, despite a disappointing 2010 season in which the club failed to meet the expectations of the club hierarchy in finishing outside the top five.

Instead of dispensing with the vampish Montenegrin, they've handed him the chequebook this winter, which he has used to good effect in purchasing highly-rated playmaker Zvjezdan Misimović from Galatasaray. If Misimović settles and forms an understanding with the club's other star forwards, Kevin Kurányi and Andriy Voronin, he could prove an inspired signing.

 The coming season also promises to be an interesting one between the sticks for Dinamo. Blessed with two of Russia's best goalkeepers – established Russia international Vladimir Gabulov and prodigiously talented Anton Shunin – Božović must decide who his No.1 will be. If he plays all of his cards right, a Europa League spot is a realistic prospect. 

KRASNODAR
NMTB: Krasnodar are an interesting addition to the Premier League this season. They don’t have an illustrious past, a huge fanbase or even a stadium of their own to put them in. Indeed, Krasnodar finished fifth in Russia’s second tier in 2010, and only wangled promotion via the demise of Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast. But they are privately owned, which the Premier League quite likes, and with the wealth of chairman Sergey Galitsky, the club are unlikely to experience the financial problems besetting some teams in Russia.

Founded in 2007, ambitious Krasnodar have Premier League standard facilities. They’ve also been busy boys in the transfer market to try and ensure that, although they came in through the backdoor, Krasnodar can become an established side in the top flight. The main problem in the First Division last year was the defence. Krasnodar conceded 44 times in the 2010 season; that’s just one fewer than the other two promoted sides (Kuban Krasnodar and Volga Nizhny Novgorod) combined.

A backline of Aleksandr Amisulashvili, Dušan Anđelković, plus Nemanja Tubić, signed from Karpaty Lviv, and Ognjen Vranješ should be more resolute in the Premier League. Vranješ has been playing in Moldova this season for Sheriff Tiraspol, and is joined by another from the Divisia Naţională champions in Aleksandr Erokhin, a talented Russian midfielder.

Yura Movsisyan, the 23-year-old Armenian forward arriving from Randers could be a good piece of business and Nikola Drinčić will be looking to get his career back on track after transferring from Spartak Moskva where he suffered a broken leg.

KRYLYA SOVETOV SAMARA
Daniel: Krylya Sovetov translates into English as ‘Wings of the Soviets’, and pre-season preparations have certainly taken off compared with this time last year, when massive debts and a transfer embargo not only threatened Krylya’s Premier League status, but the club’s very existence. Coach Aleksandr Tarkhanov, back in charge for a third time as of last summer, did a grand job of turning the tables and successfully steered Krylya through a squeaky-bum relegation battle. The worst of the club’s problems now appear to be behind them, although acting president Viktor Razveev’s assertion that Krylya’s debts are now fully cleared may best be taken with a pinch of salt.

On the pitch, Krylya have added Slovenian international Nejc Pecnik to their attack. The former Nacional front man has a nerve – it was his away goal at the Luzhniki in November 2009 that signalled the beginning of the end of Russia’s 2010 World Cup qualification hopes. On the subject of South Africa, England fans may also recall Algerian goalkeeper Rais M’Bohli. He was between the sticks that night in Cape Town when the Desert Foxes held Fabio Capello’s men to a tepid goalless draw, and replaces Chilean custodian Eduardo Lobos, who returns to his homeland after six years in Samara.

Other winter additions include Sibir Novosibirsk left-back Dmitri Molosh, who achieved cult status last season for some outrageous long-range goals such as the one below, and promising Russian U21 international centre-back Basel Abdulfattakh, who joins having found limited opportunities at Zenit St Petersburg.

Notable departures include attacking midfielders Oleg Ivanov and Pavel Yakovlev, the latter returning to Spartak Moskva following a successful loan spell. These losses leave Krylya short of enterprise going forward, and Tarkhanov’s hopes of challenging for a European position appear a little premature. It’s difficult to see beyond a season ensconced in mid-table – which, compared with the chaos and uncertainty of last season, would suit them just fine.

KUBAN KRASNODAR
NMTB: Dan Petrescu brings Russia’s yo-yo club back into the Premier League at the first time of asking, and it would very much enhance his reputation if he could establish Kuban in the top flight. Recruiting the lanky Lacina Traoré, who’d been linked with several top clubs, will surely go some way to achieving this. Suitors in western Europe will be keeping a very close eye on the fortunes of both the Ivorian forward and his manager over the coming season.

Champions of the First Division in 2010, key to their success was a tight defence. Kuban conceded just 20 goals in 38 league games last season and Petrescu has bolstered the backline with the signing of Zelão from Saturn, and the Uruguayan Mauricio Prieto. It’s a solid base for Kuban to build upon.

David Tsorayev in midfield is a good addition too, and Petrescu knows the winger/forward Dacian Varga from his time at Unirea Urziceni in Romania. Up front, Traoré will lead the line, with several options for a partner, and they look well equipped to stay in the league this time round.

LOKOMOTIV MOSKVA
Domm: It's been a case of out with the old and in with the new as far as Lokomotiv Moskva have been concerned. The club's legendary coach Yuri Semin – the man who famously broke Spartak Moskva's stranglehold on the league – has departed for Dynamo Kyiv and in his place has come Yuri Krasnozhan from Spartak Nalchik.

The change has ultimately resulted in the acrimonious departure of Oleksandr Aliyev – a player whose single season in Russia was a huge success on the field. His departure was a blow to Lokomotiv but hardly unexpected, as his desire to follow Semin back to Kyiv was verbally thrown about by all the parties involved.

They’ve purchased smartly and in a manner that hasn’t exceeded their means over the winter, which has somewhat drifted under the radar as the likes of Anzhi and Terek Grozny have stolen the headlines. However former Hajduk Split captain Senijad Ibričić is a dressing-room leader capable of replacing Aliyev's goals. Krasnozhan has also signed Aleksandr Marenich and Anton Amelchenko.

One issue that could potentially hinder their progress the size of their squad during a season that will continue for around 18 months; such strains will only become apparent later, but it must surely be a worry. Another has been Lokomotiv's failure to capture another centre forward, with attempts to sign Ciprian Marica and Sercan Yildrim baring few fruits.

Krasnozhan's ability to get teams punching above their weight – as seen with Spartak Nalchik last season – could see Lokomotiv battling for a Champions League place, but realistically comfortably qualifying for the Europa League would be a more attainable goal. Lokomotiv may well finish behind their fellow Moscow rivals, but the Railwaymen are gradually laying the building blocks of future success.

ROSTOV
Daniel: You’d forgive Rostov coach Oleh Protasov for getting the hump with this pre-season malarkey. No sooner has the curtain drawn on a Premier League campaign than your carefully assembled squad disperses, leaving you starting from scratch. Well, maybe not completely from scratch, but the list of departures from Rostov this winter runs as long as your arm.

Most notable are goalkeeper Anton Amelchenko, whose reward for a fine season looks to be a place on the bench at Lokomotiv Moskva; veteran midfielder Aleksandr Kulchy, who heads for a top flight swansong with newly-promoted Krasnodar; and wide man Igor Lebedenko, who adds to the list of baffling signings at former champions Rubin Kazan. Even North Korean Hong Yong-Jo has jumped ship, although nobody really noticed considering he spent most of last season in the treatment room and mysteriously disappearing for a month following his country’s ignominious World Cup exit.

The good news is that former striker Dmitri Kirichenko returns to the club after 10 years away. Now 34, Kirichenko has one of the finest strike rates in Russia with 140 goals to his name to date; with Roman Adamov having extended his loan spell from Rubin for another year, Rostov fans can have cause for optimism in front of goal this season. Also among the new arrivals are Dinamo Moskva duo Aleksei Rebko and Edgaras Cesnauskis, Slovak World Cup defender Kornel Salata and Zenit youth product Aleksandr Khokhlov, who, with just a handful of competitive games to his name, is set to become the club’s first-choice left-back.

All in all it was a funny old season at Rostov last year. They started well and flirted with the European places before a spectacular collapse in the final third of the season saw them drop to ninth in the final standings. They were involved in that match against Amkar Perm, and were gloriously inconsistent at times (their home record included wins over mighty CSKA and Spartak, but defeats to relegated Alania and Sibir). It’s probably fair to say that more unpredictability can be expected again this year.

RUBIN KAZAN
Domm: You wouldn't expect to be able to so easily write off a team who’ve only just lost their two-year grip on the Premier League trophy, but for Rubin Kazan this is a worrying reality. There are deficiencies within their overall style of play that ultimately threaten to cause in a period of destabilisation – whereby the fortunes of the club dwindle and thus the success of the recent past becomes a nostalgic memory.

Rubin's lack of a cutting edge is the most significant concern on the field. During their successful retention of the Premier League title in 2009 there was a great sense of excitement surrounding their progress, as Alejandro Dominguez and Aleksandr Bukharov regularly found the back of the net. Now, however, the club's greatest goal threat comes from Ecuadorian midfielder Christian Noboa – Rubin’s top scorer last season with eight goals, despite the arrival of players like Obafemi Martins. It's little surprise they struggled to immediately replace Dominguez and Bukharov – who joined Valencia and Zenit St Petersburg respectively – but the winter months have seen only Igor Lebedenko and 18-year-old Walter Chala arrive to fill the void.

Rubin will remain difficult to break down as long as their proud defensive organisation remains intact, but their inevitable struggle up the other end could well cost them a Champions League place. 

SPARTAK MOSKVA
James: For most British-based fans, Aiden McGeady is Spartak's most important player. Eight months after his £9 million transfer from Celtic, the view is increasingly applied to Spartak fans too: the Irish international winger has rapidly established himself as one of the Moscow club's leading lights. On the field he has produced consistent quality – so much so that Zenit have been rumoured to be preparing a big bid for him – while off it he has charmed the Russian public and media.

Meanwhile coach Valery Karpin did his own standing among Spartak fans no harm at all by inviting the club's goalscoring legend Andrey Tikhonov to become a coach during the off-season. That neat PR move, the addition of Estudiantes centre-half Marcos Rojo and the return from loan of youngsters Pavel Yakovlev and Artem Dzyuba ought to stand Spartak in good stead for a run at the Champions League spots.

SPARTAK NALCHIK
Domm: Last season Spartak Nalchik were the great over-achievers. It looked like they would finish in the Europa League spots, but lost out to Lokomotiv Moskva in the closing stages as results turned against them.

The successes of 2010 could ultimately cost Spartak Nalchik dear, as a significant proportion of influential figures have departed. Gone is their manager Yuri Krasnozhan (to Lokomotiv Moskva), Viktor Vasin (CSKA Moskva) and Vladimir Dyadyun, who's returned to his parent club Rubin Kazan. Nalchik moved quickly to replace Krasnozhan with Vladimir Eshtrekov and they’ve been forced to delve deep into the transfer market despite their lack of private investment.

They need to focus upon remaining clear of a relegation battle as the possibility of becoming a one-season wonder looms large: fans hopeful of replicating last season's campaign should note the detrimental and destabilising effect of losing their coach and key players.

Nalchik have made some smart moves in the transfer market, particularly the Serbian youngster Adnan Zahirović, who looks to have a promising future in Russia, although signings like Aleksandr Salugin and Igor Portnyagin seem more in hope than expectation of success. Nalchik's main problem will be the age-old one of scoring goals: do they have players who can be relied to upon to regularly find the back of the net?

Accompanied by an added sense of defensive frailty, Nalchik could be in for a tough old season.

TEREK GROZNY
NMTB: Ruud Gullit’s arrival in Chechnya came out of the blue, even after the debacle surrounding Victor Muñoz’s departure so soon after the shock announcement that the Spaniard would be taking charge in Grozny. Bulat Chagaev’s cash is going to make it very interesting for Terek this season.

There was talk of an English-based player “among the top ten strikers in the world” joining Gullit – who, although not having a great record as a coach, is a big name in football. Diego Forlan was mentioned this week. Beanpole Zimbabwean Musawengosi Mguni isn’t quite at that level, but he evidently impressed Gullit in a friendly against Metalurh Donetsk recently and joins up with the squad.

Aleksandr Pavlenko will be a decent purchase from Spartak Moskva, but the marquee signing of this new era for the Chechens, midfielder Mbark Boussoufa of Anderlecht, fell through, and he instead signed for Anzhi.

Terek have some decent players and started the 2010 season reasonably well but fell away in the second half, finishing 12th. That won’t be good enough for club and Chechen president Ramzan Kadyrov with Gullit’s arrival and the investment that’s been made: this season's target is a European spot.

Luciano Spalletti hit the ground running upon his arrival, although it's very difficult for foreign managers to come to Russia and succeed – they have to understand the country and its football, so it will be interesting to see how Gullit fares in Grozny. It shan’t be dull, you can bet that.

TOM TOMSK
James: Tom coach Valery Nepomnyashchy – whose surname transliterates as "oblivious" – is patently aware of the financial limitations of his side, and has spent the winter scouting free agents and loan deals. In have come loanees – Spartak goalkeeper Sergey Pesyakov, Zenit strikers Maksim Kanunnikov and Evgeny Starikov and Rubin defender Evgeny Balyaykin – while former Spartak men Nikita Bazhenov and Renat Sabitov, plus ex-Saturn goalkeeper Aleksey Botvinev, arrive on permanent transfers.

The sheer number of new arrivals reflects the problems the Tomsk club faces. Perennial mid-tablers based on the unglamorous Siberian steppe, they invariably see any player who makes a success of themselves at Tom – and there have been many, including most recently Blackpool's on-loan striker Sergey Kornilenko – move onto bigger and better things. But Nepomnyashchy is wily enough to get the best out of his new arrivals. Another season of comfortably surviving looks in prospect.

VOLGA NIZHNY NOVGOROD
NMTB: Promoted to the Premier League, Volga Nizhny Novgorod finished runners-up to Kuban in the First Division last year, a point ahead of their city rivals Nizhny Novgorod. The league’s top scorers, Volga also boasted the second tightest defence – but it won’t be easy for them in Russia’s top flight.

What they do have is a good young manager in Omari Tetradze, and the Georgian has been very busy in the transfer market in an attempt to gain a foothold in the division. President Aleksei Goikhman has set Tetradze the target of establishing the club in the Premier League, which he may just do, but it could depend on just how quickly this newly assembled squad gels.

Tetradze’s fellow Georgian Gogita Gogua will give them experience, along with several other new signings, including Mersudin Ahmetović, Ruslan Adzhindzhal, Leiton and Miklós Gaál. Lasha Salukvadze, signed from Rubin Kazan in the off season, is another notable arrival.
Celtic fans will also be familiar with Marc Crosas, who wasn't a regular under Neil Lennon but will become a permanent fixture in the Volga team, where the Spaniard will pick up some crucial playing time.

ZENIT ST PETERSBURG
Daniel: These are good times to be a Zenit St Petersburg fan. Victory over bitter rivals CSKA Moskva in the Super Cup last Sunday saw Luciano Spalletti’s side complete a quick-fire hat-trick of domestic trophies that rounded off a thoroughly successful first year in charge for the Italian. Alas, the one blot on Spalletti’s record to date is the Champions League play-off exit to Auxerre last August, but his side partially redeemed themselves by steamrolling their way through the resulting Europa League group. Zenit face Rubin Kazan’s conquerors Twente in the Round of 16, and there is real excitement in St Petersburg at the prospect of a second European triumph to add to their 2008 UEFA Cup success.

Not surprisingly, Spalletti’s exploits in Russia have led to continued speculation about his future. No sooner has the axe been wielded on yet another Serie A coach than the Italian is forced to wearily repeat that his heart for now is in St Petersburg. Just as inevitable has been the constant stream of transfer links flowing up and down the Neva this winter. The rumour mill has been operating to full capacity, and the likes of Andrei Arshavin, Eric Abidal and Aiden McGeady are just some of those to have been linked with a move to the Petrovsky.

It's perhaps surprising then that Zenit are yet to complete an incoming transfer this winter, although they are on the verge of securing the loan signing of Chilean U21 international midfielder Nicolás Peñailillo. As for the outgoing players, Spalletti’s compatriot Alessandro Rosina has been loaned to Cesena, defender Ivica Krizanac left when his contract expired, perpetual loanee Sergei Kornilenko barely had time to set foot in St Petersburg en route from Rubin to Blackpool, and striking starlet Maksim Kanunnikov has been sent on a season-long arenda to Tom Tomsk.

That presently leaves Zenit with a thinner squad than last season, and concerns about the depth to the side have grown as the injuries pile up. Vladimir Bystrov is ruled out until the summer, Nico Lombaerts and Sergei Semak will miss the opening month of the season, and Tomas Hubocan, Aleksandr Kerzhakov and Aleksandr Bukharov are all doubts for the season opener away to Terek Grozny on Sunday. Nevertheless, Zenit have been quick to pick up where they left off last season and remain very much the team to beat in Russia, although a better-prepared CSKA side this time around will make for a closer title race.

But a word of warning to you, Signor Spalletti. UEFA Cup success under Dick Advocaat in 2008 came at a price, with the all-out European pursuit wreaking havoc on a domestic campaign that eventually saw Zenit finish a lowly fifth.

Your guest experts:

Daniel Darby was previously head of the Press Association’s football coverage in Russia and now works as an analyst in the betting industry. He supports Mansfield Town and possibly spends more time than is healthy confined to his west London flat watching grainy coverage of football matches involving Artem Dzyuba.

Domm Norris is the creator and editor of the excellent Football Globe blog. He also contributes to Backpage Football and In Bed with Maradona.

James Appell is a freelance journalist and blogs regularly over at the Football Ramble and ITV.com. By his own admission, he is a sports-obsessive Russophile northerner with a soft spot for Spartak Moskva. Take a read of his blog, The Cynical Challenge; you’ll probably really like it.

10 things Manchester City need to know about Dynamo Kyiv

2011-03-10T12:43:00Z

It’s a lovely little trip out east to Ukraine for Bobby Mancini and fans from the blue half of Manchester today for their Europa League tie with Dynamo Kyiv.

‘Tis a wonderful city. If you do happen to be in Ukraine’s capital, make sure you pop by and visit Rodina Mat and Pechersk Lavra, and for goodness’ sake wrap up warm at the Valeriy Lobanovskiy Dynamo Stadium; it’s parky out in Kyiv today.

TRAVEL: Mark's FourFourTwo guide to Kyiv

Anyway, here’s the lowdown on City’s Ukrainian opponents.

1) Huzzah for the Second Coming
Not the second Stone Roses album, which wasn't their best work, was it? And after it took all that time to hit the shops. No, Never Mind the Bolsheviks is talking about Yuri Semin’s return to Kyiv.

Ihor Surkis was a president who came bearing gifts at Christmas, giving Bilo-syni fans just what they wanted by delivering them their old gaffer on December 24th – albeit not in a big red Santa outfit, sadly. It’s the Russian’s second spell as Dynamo numero uno, and since Valeri Gazzaev buggered off back to Alania Vladikavkaz, they’ve been decidedly more chipper in Kyiv.

Semin won the Premier League title with Dynamo in 2009, before leaving to have another bash at managing Lokomotiv Moskva. The 63-year-old did rather well in Russia, steering the Railwaymen into the Europa League places – and he’d still be in Moscow had there not been an almighty ding-dong between him and Loko president Olga Smorodskya. “I don’t have any conflict with Olga Smorodskaya," said Semin. "She’s the one who has a conflict with football.” Ouch.

In that title-winning year Dynamo made it to the semi-finals of the UEFA Cup, dumping out Valencia and Paris Saint-Germain along the way, only to lose out to their rivals Shakhtar Donetsk. It’s played 20, won nine, drew seven and lost four while Semin has been at the helm of Dynamo on the continent.

And before you pipe up with the man-juice jokes, it’s pronounced “syomin”.

"Yoo-hoo! I'm back!"

2) Dynamo have looked fresh since retuning the winter break
In their three games since Ukrainian football returned from its winter hols in Turkey, Dynamo have won the lot and haven’t shown any signs of being ring-rusty. Semin masterminded scrumdiddlyumptious 4-1 and 4-0 tonkings over Beşiktaş in the previous round of the Europa League, and at the weekend Dynamo recorded a very comfortable 2-0 away win in Donetsk over Shakhtar’s cross-city chums/rivals, Metalurh.

That makes it nine matches unbeaten, and their veteran man in nets Oleksandr Shovkovskiy clocked up his 178th Premier League clean sheet on Saturday, too.

3) It’s something resembling a 4-4-2… probably
Against Beşiktaş Semin had them playing a 4-4-2 with Ongjen Vukojević and Roman Eremenko (top of the assists chart in the Europa League, thank you very much) in the middle, with Oleh Gusev on the right and the very exciting 21-year-old Andriy Yarmolenko on the left. Artem Milevskiy will lead the line, with Andriy Shevchenko off him.

That said, Semin might opt for something a little more cautious to counter City’s attacking threat. Plus, Sheva missed the game in Donetsk, but NMTB would be very surprised if he isn’t starting tonight.

4) Artem Milevskiy’s the main man up top
If Mancini’s been swotting up on Dynamo, he’ll know the Minsk-born Ukrainian international is going to be a real handful for his defence.

Milevskiy is an interesting character and didn’t always see eye-to-eye with Gazzaev, but he’s someone who Semin gets the best out of, and on his day the 26-year-old is a top forward. Tall, he’s an out-and-out striker and scored five times in the group stages, but hasn’t found the back of the net since. He’s a due a goal, then.

Milevskiy: Coming to get City?

5) Dynamo will also have a central defender missing
Taras Mikhalik buggered his knee in the first leg against Beşiktaş and hasn’t played a part in Dynamo’s past two fixtures. The good news for the Ukrainian international is that he doesn’t require an operation as the club initially suspected, but tonight’s game will come too soon for the 27-year-old and Mikhalik will sit this one out.

Leandro Almeida also missed the Metalurh fixture; he will return to partner Ayila Yussef at the heart of the defence. Yevhen Khacheridi deputised in his absence at the weekend. Georgi Popov will start on the left and Danilo Silva down the right to complete the back four.

6) Sheva’s still got it
He might not be the Andriy Shevchenko of days gone by, but write the 34-year-old off at your peril. He scored in both matches against Beşiktaş, bringing his total in Europe to 66 – 24 of them for Dynamo, putting him ahead of club legend Maxim Shatskikh and level with fellow Ballon d’Or winner Oleh Blokhin.

After his dismal spell at Chelsea, how Shevchenko would love a goal tonight to show English fans he’s still a force. (For those into their stats: Sheva's old strike partner Serhiy Rebrov leads Dynamo's European goalscoring charts with 30.)

7) No yellow cards for Dynamo please, Mr Referee
Shevchenko, Milevskiy, Eremenko, Khacheridi and Roman Zozulya (plus Mikhalik) are all a booking away from missing the second leg at the City of Manchester Stadium next week.

8) Semin wants revenge for 1999
Semin twice won the title with Lokomotiv Moskva, but he wasn't able to get his hands on a European trophy. He could have, had it not been for that blasted Mancini: in 1999 City’s manager was part of the Lazio team that dumped the Russians out of the Cup Winners’ Cup at the semi-final stage, denying them a first appearance in a major European final.

Lazio lift it in '99 (Mancini at back)

9) Dynamo are due some success against an English opponent
That’s NMTB trying to put a positive spin on Dynamo’s pretty dismal record against English teams: played 18, won three, drew five, lost 10 is how it reads and they’ve been defeated in both of their previous fixtures in Manchester (against United) without scoring.

Dynamo have lost eight times and drew once in England. On home turf it’s slightly better; only Manchester United and Liverpool have won there in nine visits from English sides.

10) City are damn lucky Oleksandr Aliyev is ineligible
Wise men protect their crown jewels when Oleksandr Aliyev is lining up a free-kick. This boy can hit a football like you wouldn't believe. When Semin swapped Kyiv for Moscow, he took with him Dynamo’s star midfielder Oleksandr Aliyev, another player whom he’d been able to get the best out of where others had failed and, at least on the field, the Ukrainian international’s first season in Russia was a big success.

With his boss’s departure, however, Aliyev himself began angling for a move – specifically back to Ukraine to join Semin – and things turned very ugly with our friend Olga Smorodskaya. Aliyev scored 14 times in 25 games for Lokomotiv last year, but sealed a move back to Dynamo just before the transfer window closed. He’ll be a real asset for the club; it’s just where the dickens everyone will fit in.

From Russia with almost no love - it's the CIS Cup!

2011-01-18T09:30:00Z

You could argue that an opening ceremony consisting of a man some people don’t care for kicking a ball about in half-*rsed fashion in a half-empty stadium managed to capture the essence of just what the CIS (Commonwealth of Independent States) Cup means to folk nowadays rather well.

Michel Platini was the guest of honour in St Petersburg at the weekend for the annual get-together for the league champions of the former Soviet republics, and wrapping things up next Sunday is grand twit supreme of world football Sepp Blatter, although Never Mind the Bolsheviks is baffled as to why Tweedledum and Tweedledee even bother to turn up. Christ knows the fans don’t.

A gruelling schedule of matches played indoors on an artificial surface, the big teams preferring to prepare for European competitions elsewhere and a lack of decent sponsorship, prize money and television coverage has resulted in clubs fielding second-string sides or simply withdrawing altogether. In its current guise the CIS Cup is an obsolete tournament, albeit an obsolete tournament recognised by both UEFA and FIFA. It wasn't always like this.

The CIS Cup is an intriguing concept and there was a genuine interest to see the old rivalries of the Top League renewed after the dissolution of the USSR had split the Soviet Union’s football pyramid into 15. The first 10 tournaments were divvied up between Spartak Moskva (six) and Dynamo Kyiv (four).

But interest has been waning for the best part of a decade, and aside from the matches involving Zenit St Petersburg and the Russian youth team (competing hors concours) at the weekend, attendance figures were in the hundreds rather than thousands, despite tickets priced between 100 and 300 rubles (roughly £2-6).

Shakhtar Donetsk, Zenit plus BATE Borisov are busy preparing for the knockout stages of European competitions elsewhere. They aren’t willing to risk injuries by playing a flurry of games on an artificial surface; Shakhtar and BATE have withdrawn, while a youth team is representing Zenit, ditto for Dynamo Kyiv, the Miners’ replacement.

Russian and Ukrainian clubs have only won two of the last eight tournaments, but in their absence the other republics – the ones who do take it seriously – have flourished. For them it’s an opportunity to represent their country, and the CIS Cup is a worthwhile exercise for sides like Iskra-Stal Rîbniţa of Moldova (Sheriff Tiraspol’s replacement), who’ll find the experience of such a competition useful if and when they make future forays into European football.

Luckily for Iskra-Stal, they’re grouped with İnter Bakı from Azerbaijan, who are in it to win it, along with the Central Asian pair of Istiqlol Dushanbe (Tajikistan) and Neftchi Kochkor-Ata of Kyrgyzstan, who’ve sent something resembling their first teams.

The bragging rights for unofficial champion of the former USSR could be decided elsewhere. Shakhtar and Zenit have both been lured by the petrodollars and sunshine of the UAE, where they’ll compete in the Dubai Cup, a six-team competition in the Middle East with the likes of Sparta Prague and MŠK Žilina. Mircea Lucescu will also be taking his players to Spain for the Copa del Sol to get them match fit before they travel to Italy for Shakhtar’s Champions League fixture against Roma in February.

There might be life in the old dog yet, though; certainly if the Russian Football Union tinkers with the format and gets the big clubs interested again. The RFU’s president Sergei Fursenko spoke at the weekend of perhaps shifting the CIS Cup to the summer to incorporate it into Russia’s new domestic calendar.

This blog would personally favour taking the competition around Russia – or even the other republics – to drum up interest, and perhaps rejigging the format; namely removing the Russian youth team and the other “guest”, whom this year is HJK Helsinki from Finland.

Georgia withdrew from the CIS in the aftermath of the conflict in South Ossetia and Abkhazia, which leaves 14 republics, an awkward figure when it comes to organising the group stages of a football tournament. NMTB would invite the winner from the previous year. They would more than likely be Ukrainian or Russian if these countries resumed their interested in cup and this would subsequently increase the overall standard of the tournament.

That would leave five groups of three to yield eight for the next stage, which isn't ideal, admittedly; it does reduce the number of games, however. The two finalists this week will have played six games in just nine days.

Of course, one of the key issues is money. Bragging rights and a massive trophy are all well and good, but the RFU could really do with finding a sponsor and coughing up a sizeable amount for a prize fund to lure the stronger clubs back. Get this right, then the fans and television networks would surely return.

While NMTB has your attention, here’s this year’s story so far....

NMTB's Russian Premier League team of the season, 2010

2010-12-16T11:12:00Z

Hello. This blog has company again. Freelance journalist James Appell has returned once more, this time to help Never Mind the Bolsheviks pick its Russian Premier League team of the season.

Enjoy/agree/dispute/slate…

Goalkeeper
Andriy Dykan, Terek Grozny/Spartak Moskva
James: “Dykan has made a phenomenal transformation from a journeyman in the twilight of his career at Terek to Spartak's number one and a Ukraine international - all in less than six months.”

Right-back
Aleksandr Anyukov, Zenit St Petersburg
James: “There's no one to touch Anyukov in the Russian league. He's the archetype of the modern full-back, as dangerous bombing forward as he is secure at the back."

Left-back
Georgi Schennikov, CSKA Moskva
NMTB: “Left-back wasn't the easiest of positions to fill; there wasn't really a stand-out candidate. Renat Yanbaev has certainly improved at Lokomotiv Moskva this season, but we’ve opted for Schennikov. The 19-year-old was young player of the year in 2009 and was almost ever-present in the CSKA defence this time round.”

Centre-back
Nicolas Lombaerts, Zenit St Petersburg
NMTB: “Did a sterling job at the back for Zenit this season. He was a regular in Luciano Spalletti’s defence that only Rubin Kazan conceded less than in Russia. A former law student, Lombaerts speaks four languages and fans in his native Belgium have nicknamed him ‘Mountain’.”

Centre-back
Sergei Ignashevich, CSKA Moskva
James: “This is the 10th season in a row that 31-year-old Ignashevich has featured in the league's official team of the year, and deservedly so. Russia's best defender, and he has to be, with the dodgy Berezutsky twins alongside him.”

Right midfield
Danny, Zenit St Petersburg
NMTB: “My player of the season. After his long spell out injured Danny came back with a bang. He scored a superb solo effort on the opening day away to Krylya Sovetov Samara to announce his return and didn’t look back. Ten league goals and six assists is a great return.”

Left midfield
Alan Kasaev, Rubin Kazan
James: “In a league short of left-sided talent, Kasaev has distinguished himself on the flank since his switch to Rubin last season. Sports a cracking mullet too.”

Centre midfield
Roman Shirokov, Zenit St Petersburg
James: “Has converted himself from a competent centre-half into a top-class holding midfield player this year, the bedrock of Zenit's title-winning side. The new Anatoliy Tymoshchuk?”

Centre midfield
Olexandr Aliyev, Lokomotiv Moskva
NMTB: “Aliev has been excellent in Russia since joining Lokomotiv from Dynamo Kyiv and especially in the earlier part of the season, his goals were crucial for Yuri Semin’s side. The Ukrainian international scored 14 times from midfield.”

Centre forward
Aleksandr Kerzhakov, Zenit St Petersburg
James: “Never looked like getting near the team of the year until Zenit signed Aleksandr Bukharov in August. Since then, 17 goals in 18 matches in all competitions has made him indispensable.”

Centre forward
Welliton, Spartak Moskva
NMTB: “Once again, Welliton has had a fine season leading the line at Spartak. He scored successive hat-tricks in August and his form has sparked debate about whether the uncapped Brazilian should represent Russia. Dick Advocaat could probably do with a striker who’s scored 19 goals in 25 league games this year…”

Subs: Sergey Ryzhikov (Rubin Kazan), Viktor Vasin (Spartak Nalchik), Ibson (Spartak Moskva), Christian Noboa (Rubin Kazan), Vladimir Bystrov (Zenit St Petersburg), Aiden McGeady (Spartak Moskva), Vágner Love (CSKA Moskva).

Manager
Luciano Spalletti, Zenit St Petersburg
NMTB: “It might seem an easy choice, picking the manager of the champions, but Spalletti has done a super job in his first season at Zenit. He was able to implement his ideas quickly and got the team playing the way he wanted to from the off; Zenit were arguably the most consistent side in the Premier League this year.”

Have we missed anyone out? Let us know, for goodness’ sake.

James Appell is a freelance journalist and blogs regularly over at the Football Ramble and ITV.com. By his own admission, he is a sports-obsessive Russophile northerner with a soft spot for Spartak Moskva. Take a read of his blog, The Cynical Challenge; you’ll probably really like it.

Never Mind the Bolsheviks' Russian end of season round-up

2010-12-06T12:50:00Z

Zenit St Petersburg won the Premier League, Welliton scored loads and most people outside of Tatarstan found watching Rubin Kazan rather dull. That’s the season in a nutshell.

Here’s what else happened over in Russia this year (and Never Mind the Bolsheviks won’t mention a certain quadrennial football tournament once, honest).

The you-can’t-blame-the-Jabulani-for-that-goal goal

During the Worl... summer, the Jabulani was getting blamed for every bizarre goal, but Spartak Nalchik goalie Otto Fredrikson can’t really use the much-maligned ball as an excuse here.

He probably felt a bit of a wally after conceding this goal against Amkar Perm.

Gift of the year

Shock! Horror! Not all journos are *rseholes (most are).

The chaps over at Sovetsky Sport are a rather nice bunch and have been known to come bearing gifts on the big European nights in Russia.

Jose Mourinho was given a snazzy trench coat when Inter Milan visited last season (he didn’t wear it at the Luzhniki, the ungrateful sod), but it looks like they were stumped when it came to finding something for Carlo Ancelotti.

That, or they couldn’t find an eyebrow trimmer in GUM.

A Sovetsky Sport reporter apprehended the Italian after his press conference and presented him with a rather gaudy looking samovar that bamboozled the Chelsea gaffer.

Unless Carlo’s particular about how his hot water is dispensed, a fiver says one of his relatives is going to be pretty disappointed on December 25th.

The Joey Barton sponsored award for good behaviour

Youssef Rabeh is known for his, erm, 'uncompromising' style of play on the pitch, and the Moroccan centre-back wasn't exactly a saint off it during his time at Levski Sofia before joining Anzhi Makhachkala; but hey-ho, a fresh start in Russia and all that...

He joined up with his new teammates in Turkey, but after just one half of a preseason friendly for newly-promoted side, Rabeh went AWOL from their training camp.

He disappeared off the face of the earth for a while, before phoning a Bulgarian newspaper and informing them he’d quit football.

Rabeh eventually turned up in his homeland, announcing he was joining a Moroccan club, leaving a messy three-way transfer saga in his wake.

The Youtube villain of the year

Thing is, right, Alan Gagatov’s not bad at football, but the first time most fans outside of Russia heard of the lad was when he fluffed his lines from three yards for Lokomotiv Moskva against Sibir Novosibirsk.

He also managed this in the same game, but Gagatov scored a corker for Russia’s under-21s a couple of days later.

Russia’s strongest man

Oleksandr Aliev has been known to score from his free-kicks, so it’s not a bad idea to have some kind of a wall in place, which Lokomotiv Moskva’s opponents Amkar Perm did on match day 11.

Unfortunately for them, Tomislav Dujmovic had done a super job of ensuring it was nowhere near the flight path of the ball by the time the hammer-footed Ukrainian had let fly.

The silly so-and-so’s prize

It’s rare you get two awful celebrations in the same match.

Maybe there’s nothing to do in Chechnya, or perhaps there’s some dance craze in the Caucasus this blog missed, because three of Terek Grozny’s South American contingent performed two rather silly routines against Saturn.

After MaurÌcio made a hash of the first, the Brazilian fared a little better with the second that followed HÈctor Bracamonte’s goal.

Russia’s number one mascot

The finest mascot ever? Never Mind the Bolsheviks thinks so. Meet Ural Sverdlovsk Oblast’s Bumblebee...

Best half-time entertainment

It’s Ural, again. Fans over in Yekaterinburg really seem to have a jolly good day out at the football, don’t they?

This brass band gave supporters a real treat during the break against Khimki.

Worst. Decision. Ever.

He fell m’lud!

Amkar Perm were livid after Lokomotiv Moskva were awarded a penalty against them. Rightly so, too.

That was a bad decision. Almost as bad as the RFU deciding to switch to a ìwinter leagueî format

Most bizarre moment of 2010

This goal in the Nizhny Novgorod derby has caused a bit of controversy down in the First Division.

Take a look for yourself (hint: keep an eye on the movement of the defender on the line as the initial shot comes in).

Travellers of the year

Sibir played some nice stuff this season and if there’s one thing a game involving them had, it was goals.

There were 92 of them in the Sibir’s 30 league games; unfortunately for Igor Kriushenko, 58 of them went in at the wrong end.

It’s their travel woes that interest NMTB though.

Sibir took a trip on a commercial airline via Moscow for their fixture with Rostov earlier in the year and their kit went missing en route, but somehow managed a win; they also had to share Saturn’s charter flight from the capital back to Novosibirsk after returning late from Cyprus.

Champions: Zenit St Petersburg
Cup winners: Zenit St Petersburg
Top scorer: Welliton, Spartak Moskva (19)
Champions League: Zenit St Petersburg, CSKA Moskva, Rubin Kazan
Europa League: Spartak Moskva, Lokomotiv Moskva
Relegated: Alania Vladikavkaz, Sibir Novosibirsk
Promoted: Kuban Krasnodar, Volga Nizhny Novgorod

Russia reacts to being awarded the 2018 World Cup

2010-12-03T11:06:00Z

Right now you probably hate Russia and just want to close your eyes and put your fingers in your ears when anyone says “2018 World Cup”, but here’s what the reaction has been out east.

“Russia is humbled in being recently named as host country for 2018 FIFA World Cup! We are now ready to go to work in preparing a remarkable tournament experience that will surprise the world of football and serve to realise the true promise and power of the FIFA World Cup.”
Official World Cup bid website

“Hurrah! Victory! We're hosting the 2018 championship! Now we have to get ready for hosting the World Cup. And, of course, perform well.”
Russian president Dmitry Medvedev via Twitter

"We are honoured to win in this tough and fair fight. From the bottom of my heart, thank you."
Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin

“FIFA could have chosen a country which is already prepared to host a World Cup, England for instance. Instead, they chose a country to invest into. The choice was actually between the present and the future and they opted for the latter.”
NTV+ television pundit Sergey Akulinin

'I have no doubt that the tournament will be held at the highest level. I remember how the Soviet Union was preparing for the Olympics in 1980, it was a real celebration!'
Manager Valery Gazzaev

“Congratulations go to the Russian national team who finally qualified for the World Cup. We missed out on 3 out of the last 4. Well done!”
Artur Petrosyan Sportbox.ru’s chief football editor on Twitter

“Yes, the English could hold the tournament today, but, you see, in seven years the requirements will be different, there will be stadiums, hotels and airports. It's a big plus for us to start from scratch.”
Former Russian international Andrei Kanchelskis

You have entrusted us with the FIFA World Cup for 2018 and I just can promise, we all can promise, you will never regret it. Let us make history together. We are building a new Russia. … We can achieve this better and quicker with your help.”
Russia's deputy prime minister Igor Shuvalov

"Dear friends, I heartily congratulate everyone in this brilliant victory… I congratulate the huge army of Russian fans. I congratulate all those who prepared and supported the bid. We will of course have experience in holding such events after the 2014 Olympics, but this is a huge and a serious event.”
Dmitry Medvedev

“For our country, this is an historic event.”
CSKA Moskva manager Leonid Slutsky

“This decision corresponds with the philosophy of FIFA.”
Russian Football Union President Sergei Fursenko

“I’m very happy, because this is a huge event. None of us yet understands what it means for the country. Probably a lot of us will only understand after 2018.”
Arsenal’s Andrey Arshavin

“We won!”
National team manager Dick Advocaat

“I am happy for Russia.”
Former national team manager Guus Hiddink

A naked Italian, a naughty Irishman and a goal-shy Nigerian walk into a bar...

2010-11-29T15:19:00Z

Three goalless matches out of eight might not scream final day excitement in Russia, but golly was the conclusion to the Premier League a good ‘un.

The four-way relegation scrap between Alania Vladikavkaz, Amkar Perm, Anzhi Makhachkala and Krylya Sovetov Samara went right to the wire, Welliton scored his zillionth goal of the year and Aiden McGeady threw a hissy fit in the Moscow derby!

Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast 1-1 Alania Vladikavkaz

Bye-bye Alania.

The dirty rumour doing the rounds last week was that Saturn were going to throw this one. Certainly the bookies seemed to agree, and let’s face it, they don’t often get these things wrong, do they?

Christ knows what happened, but just before kickoff the odds shifted from a convincing Alania win…

It looked like some players hadn’t read the script (or at the very least had been sent the wrong one) because there was some shambolic defending on display from both sides, especially Saturn, who controlled the game for the most, while at the same time managing to present the visitors with numerous chances to score that makes Never Mind the Bolsheviks wonder how it is they contrived to get just the one.

That came early in the first half. Somehow Ivan Ivanov’s flick from a corner pinged into the box made its way past Saturn’s defence and their goalie Artem Rebrov, a surprise choice in nets ahead of Antonín Kinský, to give the away side the lead on 13 minutes.

On the pitch Saturn might be safe, but off it they are still in trouble. Never mind not having enough roubles in the bank for Christmas pressies, the club could well go bust if Grandfather Frost doesn’t bring them 16 million quid next month.

The 1995 champions were pegged back when Dmitri Khomich spilt Zelão’s cross into his own net on 32 minutes, and despite some awful defending, Alania couldn’t force a winner, meaning they join Sibir Novosibirsk on a trip back to the First Division after just one season in the top flight.

Some might say a Premier League with just the three Caucasus teams isn't an altogether bad thing…

Spartak Nalchik 1-3 Anzhi Makhachkala

Over in Nalchik we had one of those Caucasus derbies where one team had nothing riding on it, while the other needed a win to stay up.

NMTB would have put its lifesavings on this one being an away win. If only Bet365 were taking people’s money on this fixture yesterday…

Until last week Spartak Nalchik were challenging for a Europa League spot; mostly because they hadn’t been defending like they did against Anzhi yesterday this season, who went ahead in stoppage time at the end of the first half when Jan Holenda’s cross was converted by an unmarked Andrei Streltsov.

The managerial merry-go-round is about to begin out east. Yuri Krasnozhan has done a superb job at Nalchik and his name has been mentioned in the same breath as Lokomotiv Moskva, should Yuri Semin rejoin his pals back at Dynamo Kyiv, but he’s probably glad he missed this game.

Krasnozhan was in Moscow having eye surgery.

On yesterday’s showing, a few of his players could do with a trip to the opticians themselves because leaving men free in the box seemed to be their Achilles’ heel.

Ilya Kukharchuk found himself with acres of space to double Anzhi’s lead 20 minutes into the second half. Nalchik did reduce the arrears when Magomed Mitrishev burst clear and rounded Nukri Revishvili to slot into an empty net though, only for Kukharchuk to seal the points and survival for Anzhi when some sloppy play at the back allowed him to finish easily.

Amkar Perm 0-0 CSKA Moskva

This was a perfect advert for why switching to a winter calendar is a terrible idea.

It was a rather parky -14°C in Perm and the artificial surface was covered in a blanket of snow, meaning not only was having a decent game of football damn near impossible, but they had to get the tractor out before we began (and at half time) so we could see the pitch markings, which was good for all of about 10 minutes before more of the white stuff came down.

CSKA travelled to the Urals with just 15 first team players and had to borrow a couple from the youth team, but they only named six substitutes yesterday.

Vágner Love had conveniently picked up a yellow card last week and he was basking in glorious sunshine somewhere in his native Brazil while his chums were slugging it out in the cold, the lucky bugger.

There was talk of moving this game to somewhere west of Perm to beat the weather, but Amkar were keen for home advantage in their bid to beat the drop.

Leading the line for CSKA was Tomáš Necid, who displayed exactly the kind of form to suggest why that story in the Daily Mail last week linking him with a move to Liverpool is bobbins. If it’s not, fans in Scouseland should be very worried if Woy is going to splurge £10 million on the Czech striker.

The closest we came to a goal was Alan Dzagoev’s free-kick that hit the bar in the second half.

Zenit St Petersburg 0-0 Krylya Sovetov Samara

The final side with one eye on results elsewhere were Krylya, who were looking to maintain their record of being the only non-Moscow/St Petersburg-based club to be ever-present in the Premier League since the collapse of the Soviet Union.

Luciano Spalletti gave some of his players a week off, and were probably quite grateful not to be out on the pitch in some pretty horrible weather in St Petersburg, which all combined for a fairly disjointed performance from Zenit.

But the result suited both sides; Krylya preserved their Premier League status without spoiling Zenit’s big party and everyone went home happy.

Thankfully the goalposts stayed intact when the final whistle sounded.

Everyone went loopy, mind – Spalletti included – who showed his solidarity with the home supporters by stripping off and parading his bare chest around the Petrovsky Stadium in the snow.

Nice abs, Luciano…

The Italian has had a superb first season in Russia and Zenit are a decent bet for winning the Europa League, too.

Lokomotiv Moskva 0-0 Rubin Kazan

It wouldn’t be a weekend of goalless games without the original nil-all merchants Rubin Kazan shutting out Lokomotiv, would it?

At the other end, Obafemi Martins was leading the line on his own for Gurban Berdiýew’s side, so the chances of a goal were, err… nil, so to speak.

Denis Glushakov hit the bar for Lokomotiv, but the big talking point was Yuri Semin.

After the match he said his future will be decided within a month, which kind of fits in well with when Dynamo Kyiv’s head honcho Igor Surkis said he’ll announce who’ll replace Oleg Luzhny over in Ukraine.

God, if he took Oleksandr Aliyev back with him Dynamo would be brilliant again.

He might also want to listen to the sage advice of the former Arsenal and Wolves defender and pinch Ukrainian wonderkid Yevhen Konoplyanka from Juande Ramos at Dnipro, too.

Dinamo Moskva 1-1 Spartak Moskva

Someone’s got a temper problem.

Moments after being taken out (not for the first time yesterday, NMTB should add) a frustrated Aiden McGeady got to his feet and did a number on Marcin Kowalczyk in the Moscow derby.

He joined Adrian Ropotan for an early bath (not together, you’d imagine) after he had scythed down the Irishman in equally cynical fashion just 10 minutes earlier.

The game was Dmitri Khokhlov’s Dinamo swansong. Fittingly, the 34-year-old scored, but not before Welliton had given Spartak the lead with his 19th goal in 25 games, making him the league’s top marksmen for the second year running.

Khokhlov glanced in Andriy Voronin’s free-kick on his final match before joining the coaching staff of Dinamo, who will apparently stick with Miodrag Božović in charge, according to our chums at RIA Novosti.

Things have certainly picked up since the Montenegrin took over in April.

Terek Grozny 1-1 Sibir Novosibirsk

Sibir bid farewell to the top flight, meaning arduous trip out east will be the First Division clubs’ problem next year; they’re already used to it though, what with SKA-Energiya Khabarovsk and Luch-Energiya Vladivostok down there.

Héctor Bracamonte has looked like a man who eats out of bins for most of this season with his wild man of Borneo look, but he’s an important player for Terek and after getting into the box and having a decent shot saved, the ball came back out to Shamil Asildarov to give the Chechens the lead on seven minutes with a smart finish.

There’s been a lot of negative talk about alleged scandals involving Terek of late and they would have wanted to end the season with victory in front of their own fans after failing to win since round 23.

Sibir had other ideas. Tomáš Čížek headed in Vagiz Galiullin’s cross on 71 minutes to earn them a point in the final game of their inaugural season in the Premier League.

The good news for them is that Igor Kriushenko has agreed a contract extension to try and take the club back at the first time of asking.

Tom Tomsk 3-1 Rostov

This was another one played in some blumin’ cold conditions. The thermometers read -18°C in Tomsk and there was an idea mooted of this one being moved too, but they just decided to use an orange ball, plenty of thermals and get on with it.

Chavdar Yankov gave Rostov the lead when he ghosted through the Tom defence to score on 55 minutes; Vladislav Khatazhyonkov really should have done something – anything, really – other than dither when the ball was knocked past him by the Bulgarian.

Luckily for him, Aleksandr Kharitonov had his shooting boots on.

His super free-kick pulled Tom level just two minutes later and then he fired home after a melee in the Rostov box (79).

The end of the season couldn’t come soon enough for the Rostovites, who’ve failed to win since match day 20.

They went hunting for an equaliser deep into injury time and their goalie Dejan Radić got caught out when he went up for a corner in the 95th minute, allowing Kyrylo Kovalchuk to take advantage and walk the ball into the empty net to end the season on a high note for Tom.

Tragedy hits Ukraine as Sevastopol defender involved in fatal car crash

2010-11-24T10:59:00Z

This morning Daniel Voronkov buried his wife and two young children in Sevastopol, Ukraine.

They were killed by the reckless driving of Vladislav Piskun, a defender with the Premier League club PFC Sevastopol on Sunday just 150 metres from their family house. The 25-year-old player is currently sat in a Crimean jail cell.

His name won’t be familiar to football fans outside of the region. Piskun has spent much of his career outside of Ukraine’s top flight and has been restricted by an injury to just seven first team appearances this season with newly-promoted Sevastopol, who also have the ex-Wigan Athletic striker Julius Aghahowa on loan this season from Shakhtar Donetsk.

It’s during these past three months on the sidelines Piskun has sunk into a deep depression, and there were rumours his spinal problem was a career-threatening one and that the club may be seeking to make a decision on his future during the impeding winter break.

At the beginning of the season he’d swapped his second-hand Hyundai for a BMW 320i Cabrio and while reports remain unclear as to the exact details, it’s believed he participated in a street race with a yellow Mitsubishi Lancer Evo 8 (allegedly the driver was a friend) that began at a set of traffic lights in Sevastopol’s city centre on Sunday morning.

Also in the car was Piskun’s girlfriend, who wasn’t pregnant, as was reported yesterday. Initial stories claimed the passenger was his wife, whom he is separated from.

Piskun lost control of his vehicle attempting to overtake the Mitsubishi in a trolleybus lane on Ulitsa Gogol, a popular strip for illegal races in Sevastopol, mounting the pavement and colliding with a lamppost and a building.

Returning from a family shopping trip that morning was Lina Voronkova and her children, two-year-old Kira and Nastia, five.

They were hit by Piskun’s BMV and were killed instantly.

Eyewitnesses claim the police had to disperse an angry mob who set upon Piskun and attempted to strangle him, before the defender was taken to hospital with a broken leg and concussion, along with his girlfriend, who some newspapers falsely reported later died. A plea for bail was rejected.

Sevastopol is a city in mourning. There has been an outpouring of grief in the Crimean city and hundreds of flowers and toys have been left at the scene of the accident near to the Voronkov home where a distraught Daniel is being looked after by relatives and friends who fear for his wellbeing.

Komsomolskaya Pravda carried an interview with one resident at his five-storey apartment block who said the entire building can hear the 33-year-old, who was once a youth team player at Sevastopol, shouting the names of his family in despair.

The club’s vice-president confirmed yesterday they have severed ties with the defender and will not be assisting Piskun during his trial.

“We promise that the administration of the club will take all necessary measures to observe the course of the investigation. We also guarantee our help to the family of the victims. This tragedy must become a bitter lesson for all of us,” PFC Sevastopol said.

The incident has taken a twist, however, when an individual claiming to be the driver of the yellow Mitsubishi posted a message on an internet forum stating there was no race between himself and Piskun, and in the vehicle with him was his wife and two children.

This contradicts what newspapers affirm the player admitted to the police during interrogation and statements given by witnesses.

It is irrefutable that Piskun was travelling at a considerable speed when the tragedy struck, however.

He has requested to be kept in solitary confinement in prison for fear of reprisals and will soon be transferred to a prison in Simferopol, Crimea’s capital.

Vladislav Piskun is facing the prospect of 10 years in jail.

The dodgy dancing, promises to daddy Russian review

2010-11-22T15:26:00Z

So that’s pretty much everything squared up at the top, but my goodness are we going to have one humdinger of a final day down at the bottom in Russia.

Any one of four teams can still follow Sibir Novosibirsk through the Premier League trapdoor into the First Division. That’s a quarter of the league, don’t you know!

Sky Sports’ universe would probably implode with this kind last day excitement.

Alania Vladikavkaz 2-1 Terek Grozny

After an *ahem* controversial 3-1 defeat in Chechnya to one of their chums from the Caucuses who desperately needed three points to avoid relegation last week, Terek Grozny travelled to North Ossetia for a fixture with Alania Vladikavkaz, another of the region’s sides looking for a win to preserve their Premier League status.

Bet365.com’s odds were a paltry 1/6 for an Alania victory; Terek a bizarre 10/1. Oh, and there was no in-game betting. Just saying, like…

In a dour first half, Alania gave a master class in exactly how not to defend a corner, which also kinda suggested just why they are occupying the final spot in the relegation zone in the first place.

Goalkeeper Dmitry Khomich sort of wafted an arm at the ball as it was whipped in, but when Ismail Ediyev tapped into an empty net there was just one Alania player in the six-yard box.

It was shocking defending.

Less shockingly, cynics would aver, was Alania’s ability to turn things around and they scored twice after the break through Marat Bikmaev and Georgy Gabulov to pick up a much-needed three points.

Christ knows what was happening in the Terek penalty area for the winner.

Amkar Perm 3-1 Spartak Nalchik

Russian chairmen rather like this giving away tickets lark. This fixture was another of those freebies to get more bums on seats and generate a better atmosphere in a crunch game. Can you hear that, uber-rich chairmen of the Premier League over here?

The temperature was below zero in Perm and snow on the ground, meaning Amkar had to get the orange ball out of the garden shed for the visit of Spartak Nalchik.

This blog’s rubbish at predictions, but NMTB did say recently it could be the goals of Stevica Ristić that keep Amkar up, and while usually this would mean the kiss of death, the Macedonian only went and scored for the third week running with a sliding finish on 16 minutes!

Next week: the lottery numbers.

It wasn’t a bad weekend for the Balkan contingent in the Premier League, and Nalchik found an equaliser thanks to the forehead of Serbian Jovan Golić, who got himself on the end of a corner just after the half hour.

They seemed nailed-on certainties for a Europa League place earlier in the season, but have faded as the year wore on. Nalchik fell behind when Andrei Topchu struck on 57 minutes.

And the win that keeps Perm’s hopes of staying in the Premier League alive was confirmed when Aleksandr Kolomeytsev’s free-kick to the far post was met by Dmitri Belorukov 16 minutes from time.

Anzhi Makhachkala 1-2 Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast

It’s never easy going to Dagestan and coming away with all three points.

Saturn were also missing Denis Boyarintsev and Roman Vorobyov, while Aleksandr Sapeta was suspended, but they produced a superb performance to preserve their Premier League status for another season (at least according to the league table, quite what will happen to them off the pitch with their financial problems is all together less certain).

Anzhi had the better of a goalless first half, yet were restricted to mostly long range efforts by Saturn who opened the scoring after the break from a counter that was finished by Emin Makhmudov. Veteran Marko Topić’s then doubled their lead.

Anzhi were given a way back into the match when Dmytro Parfenov was adjudged to have brought down Ali Gadzhibekov in the box, although replays suggest otherwise. David Tsorayev tucked away the penalty.

Anzhi will be hoping they can get the win they need to stay up when the visit Spartak Nalchik next week…

CSKA Moskva 3-1 Spartak Moskva

It was star striker from Brazil #1 versus star striker from Brazil #2 at Arena Khimki.

CSKA’s blue dreadlocked danger man Vágner Love came up against Welliton, who’d sensibly decided to ditch his own dodgy hairstyle of a bleached blonde bonce for the Moscow derby.

The scoring was opened by another Brazilian though.

Ibson set Welliton free with a superb through ball, and while Igor Akinfeev managed to block the initial shot, the midfielder was following up to put a well-placed effort into an empty CSKA net on 17 minutes.

Deividas Šemberas’ picked up a second yellow to reduce CSKA to 10, but even a man shy they managed an equaliser in the second half when Sekou Oliseh’s drive crashed back off the woodwork and was acrobatically headed in by Keisuke Honda.

Their second was a case of great goal, naff finish.

Seydou Doumbia picked up Oliseh’s reverse pass and skilfully jinked his way through the Spartak defence to blast CSKA into the lead, but you do feel Bruno Tonioli would have a few choice words to say about those dance moves that followed if he saw the Ivorian’s merry jig.

Whatever happened to those Icelandic chaps with the wacky celebrations?

Vágner Love was scythed down by Nicolás Pareja in the last minute and he received his marching orders. It didn’t seem to affect him mind, and the Brazilian picked himself up to cap off the scoring to ensure CSKA finish as runners-up to Zenit St Petersburg ahead of Rubin Kazan, and claim that second Champions League group stage spot.

Krylya Sovetov Samara 1-0 Dinamo Moskva

Thank goodness Krylya won on Saturday (for them, anyway). They’ll do well to get something out of Zenit St Petersburg away on the final day.

They started the better of the two sides in Samara, and despite Dinamo growing into the game as it progressed, Krylya took the lead on 54 minutes when Yevgeny Savin finished off Oleg Samsonov’s low cross from the right for the only goal.

Andriy Voronin was missing with a hamstring injury, but rumours of Dinamo’s budget cuts appear unfounded. The approaches of several Bundesliga clubs were purported to have been rebuffed by the Muscovites for the ex-Liverpool striker.

Valery Gazzaev’s name continues to be linked with replacing Miodrag Božović at the helm however, and the news that Metalurg Donetsk youngster Vasyl Pryima could be on his way to Dinamo from Ukraine has fuelled these rumours.

Rostov 1-2 Lokomotiv Moskva

European football for Lokomotiv next season!

Their win in Rostov-na-Donu means they’ll be representing Russia in the Europa League next season at the expense of Spartak Nalchik. They could yet finish fourth, too.

Dmitri Loskov failed to convert a penalty, but made up for it with a superb pass to find Dmitri Sychev, who slotted through Dejan Radić’s legs to give them a deserved lead.

Dragan Blatnjak equalised with a free-kick on the hour for Rostov, who earlier in the season had their eyes on that last Europa League spot, but they were level for just one minute.

The Muscovites’ Brazilian defender Rodolfo coolly finished to give them all three points and continue that 10-game unbeaten run.

Rodolfo looks bound for South America, which will mean he’ll probably have to change his rodolfo4lokomotiv Twitter ID to something a bit more appropriate in the near future.

And another one on the move might be Yuri Semin.

The managerial merry-go-round seems just about to begin in the FSU with the ends of seasons/winter breaks looming. He admitted after the match he wasn’t sure of his plans for next season, which could mean a return to Dynamo Kyiv.

It would be a bit harsh on poor old Oleg Luzhny if he did, though. He’s done a decent job in Ukraine of late.

Rubin Kazan 2-2 Zenit St Petersburg

Defence-minded Rubin have now gone three Premier League games without a clean sheet. Sort it out, Gurban!

It was a case of: if you can play, you will play, in Kazan. For both sides.

An injury-ravaged Zenit travelled to Tatarstan with just one goalkeeper, Dmitri Borodin, and in nets at the other end, Rubin handed a debut to Giedrius Arlauskis in place of Sergey Ryzhikov, who revealed his pre-match superstition was bizarrely, never to cut his fingernails the day before a fixture.

Both goalies for Zenit, Yuri Zhevnov and Vyacheslav Malafeev were out, while Sergei Semak and Alexander Bukharov, both signed from Rubin, were ineligible to play as part of the terms of their transfer.

Rubin’s Carlos Eduardo was also missing and it looks like he won’t feature in their Champions League game with København have this week, unless it’s all mind games from Gurban Berdiýew. Obafemi Martins was ill.

But returning from a long layoff was Roman Sharonov, who made his first appearance of the season for Rubin; it’s unlikely he’ll start for such a key fixture in midweek though.

Viktor Fayzulin’s deflected strike from outside the area gave the visitors the lead, and after the break some uncharacteristically slack defending left Szabolcs Huszti completely unmarked in the box to double their advantage with a superb volley on 53 minutes.

And equally uncharacteristically Zenit let a two-goal lead slip in Kazan.

César Navas headed in Bibras Natkho’s cross on 61 minutes, then shortly afterwards Christian Noboa set Aleksei Medvedev free to put past Borodin.

Berdiýew claims he’s happy with third. It will mean navigating Rubin through a difficult qualifying stage in the Champions League though next year.

Sibir Novosibirsk 0-1 Tom Tomsk

In the Siberian derby the orange ball was again deployed, and Sibir’s Aleksei Solosin was sporting a rather fetching black hat/balaclava thing to keep the cold out.

After a spot of wrestling in the box between Artem Dzyuba and Sibir’s Steeve Joseph-Reinette, Tom’s young striker picked himself up to send Solosin the wrong way, and fulfilled the promise he made to Dzyuba Snr that he would manage to score 10 goals this year.

Like for much of the season, Igor Kriushenko’s team played some nice stuff without reward.

Bartłomiej Grzelak had the chance to equalise from the spot for Sibir six minutes from the end, but his penalty was saved by Aleksei Poliakov, meaning their final home game of the season ended in defeat.

FIXTURES November 28 Amkar Perm v CSKA Moskva, Spartak Nalchik v Anzhi Makhachkala, Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast v Alania Vladikavkaz, Terek Grozny v Sibir Novosibirsk, Tom Tomsk v Rostov, Lokomotiv Moskva v Rubin Kazan, Zenit St Petersburg v Krylya Sovetov Samara, Dinamo Moskva v Spartak Moskva

Alan Hansen, sweet dreams and scouting vacancies (must be willing to travel)

2010-11-19T15:48:00Z

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaall the way over in Central Asia (or very eastern Europe, in UEFA land) fop-haired purveyor of all things footy in Kazakhstan, Roman Lopatenko, will probably think twice before he starts trying to wind up supporters again.

Their man-on-the telly had an Alan Hansen “You’ll never win anything with kids” moment in the former Soviet republic recently.

“If Tobol are able to keep their advantage of one point in the remaining three rounds, I am ready to go to Kostanay for a couple of days and work as a janitor at the local stadium,” he affirmed last month after they were hammered 5-2 at home by second-placed FK Aktobe.

Tobol Kostanay have picked up the nickname “the Dreamers” in Kazakhstan, on account of having finished in the top three for seven of the past eight years, but never quite managing to clinch the championship.

Aktobe had chipped away at their 12-point lead in the closing stages of the season and won their final three matches, although unfortunately for Lopatenko, so did Tobol, meaning a first league title for Ravil Sabitov’s team and a stint with the broom at their Tcentralny Stadion for him.

“Usually I win bets,” the pundit for the country’s Kazakhstan channel said, "but this time Tobol were better than I thought. I take my hat off to them."

This month he flew over 900 miles from Almaty (Kazakhstan’s capital until Nursultan Nazarbayev moved it lock, stock and barrel 13 years ago to what is now Astana) to Kostanay, where Lopatenko was put to work.

Yeah, OK, it descended into something of a publicity stunt with all the assembled media (and they’re getting in the way of him actually sweeping up), but Never Mind the Bolsheviks will forgive them for that; Kazakh football needs all the publicity it can get.

It’s not that bad. The country’s natural resources might have paid for that swanky new stadium in Astana, but they haven’t quite got a team fit to grace it yet, however. And besides, they obviously aren’t too fussed about exposure over here. This blog has been trying for the best part of a week to contact them without success.

Despite the media circus, Lopatenko spent an hour sweeping the stands and at one point he was on his hands and knees picking up pine cones, but Tobol excused him a second day.

Instead, he joined them as a guest of honour at their medal ceremony, where he was ushered on stage with his broom to a standing ovation from the players and fans for honouring his bet after Tobol won a hard-fought title in Sabitov’s first season in charge.

They have had their problems; scouting their opposition being the main one. The 12 Premier League teams in one of the world’s largest countries are inconveniently located in 12 different cities, and the former Dinamo Moskva and Lokomotiv Moskva defender admitted at times his side were going into matches “blindfolded”.

All that travelling takes a fair old chunk out of the 42-year-old’s budget, too. Tobol take chartered flights for their away games.

It doesn’t seem to have affected the players, though, and two of the Tobol team who have contributed massively to their inaugural championship have been Nurbol Zhumaskaliyev and Ulugbek Bakaev, scorers of 31 of the club’s 53 league goals this season.

And it’s not just Roman Lopatenko with a promise. Tobol have kept their word to Stanimir Dimitrov, a stalwart of their midfield for some years who is now back in his native Bulgaria with Neftochimic Burgas 1986. He was told when he left in 2009 that if they ever won the Premier League he’d receive a medal, a vow the club will honour.

As NMTB mentioned, Kazakh football is a bit of an unknown quantity in the West, much like the country as a whole, but the Premier League’s foreign coaches – Subitov included – have been surprised at the standard of the competition (pleasantly surprised, NMTB should add) and Aktobe beat AZ Alkmaar of the Netherlands in the Europa League not so long ago.

The national team isn't up to much, mind.

But for Tobol, these are exciting times. There’s a stadium expansion in the offing and the Dreamers are going to sleep at night with thoughts of the Champions League group stages in their heads.

There’s a frightening prospect for Manchester United et al…

The goalpost-breaking, underwear-revealing Russian Review (with video)

2010-11-16T12:51:00Z

It was a busy weekend for trophy engravers in the former Soviet republics. Lokomotiv Astana picked up the Kazakh Cup, BATE Borisov made it five Belarusian championships on the bounce and over in Armenia Pyunik Yerevan won their 12th league title.

Oh, and they can probably etch “Shakhtar Donetsk” onto the Premier League trophy in Ukraine too, even if we are only halfway through the season. That 10-point lead they’ve established between themselves and Dynamo Kyiv is looking insurmountable with 13 games remaining.

But the biggie was won in Russia. No, not the PFL Cup (the tournament for the winners of the regionalised third tier – won by Chernomorets Novorossiysk, since you didn’t ask).

You can’t deny Zenit St Petersburg have been the most consistent side in Russia this year, and finally – and deservedly – Luciano Spalletti got his hands on the Premier League trophy with a flattering 5-0 win over Rostov at the Petrovsky Stadium on Sunday.

Spalletti has done a sterling job since his appointment in December. Yeah, there was a bit of a wobble towards the end when the fixtures were piling up, but we’ve known for sometime now that Gazprom’s zillions would bring the title back to Russia’s second city this season for the first time in three years.

Averaging over two goals a game and conceding only less than Gurban Berdiyew’s uber-defensive lot over in Tatarstan, Zenit weren’t beaten domestically for eight months until Spartak Moskva managed a 1-0 win against them in October.

On Sunday, Danko Lazovic’s penalty gave Zenit the lead against Rostov, but they lacked any real urgency and penetration after the break and looked content with just the one goal, despite enjoying a lot of the ball against a side with bugger all to play for.

It was probably a mistake to inform the players of CSKA Moskva’s draw earlier in the day at half-time. The commentator’s assertion that the game was being played “like a victory procession” was spot on, for the most.

It sprang into life with 15 minutes remaining though. Sergei Semak, a Premier League winner with CSKA in 2003 and Rubin for the past two seasons netted a second from close range and Aleksandr Kerzhakov scored a third. Aleksandr Bukharov completed the rout with a brace in injury time.

While the players danced a merry jig on the dressing-room massage table, a group of jubilant supporters flooded the pitch and broke the goalposts at one end for souvenirs.

Clashes with the police also marred the celebrations around Nevsky Prospekt later in the evening as around 2,000 fans took to the streets.

No one’s really believing the official line that the image of that bloodied police officer lying on the floor had “fallen over”, either. In typical fashion, the Daily Mail picked up on this with a hyperbolic piece sticking the boot into the country’s World Cup bid that didn’t really mention the football at all.

FRIDAY

Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast 2-2 Amkar Perm
Down at the bottom, Saturn, a team with massive problems off the field, welcomed Amkar, a team with massive problems on it, in Friday’s only game.

Investment company MOITK would rather like their 803.7 million roubles (roughly £17m) back from Saturn, thank you very much, and their future looks bleak unless a sponsor can be found, but they took the lead after a goalless first half when a quick move down Amkar’s left was finished off by Marko Topić on 49 minutes.

Amkar are teetering on the brink of relegation, mainly because they can’t score. So it’s rather fortunate that Stevica Ristić has decided to start putting them in the back of the net recently. His neat turn and finish from Aleksandr Kolomeytsev’s cross was his second in successive matches.

Keep that up, lad, and you might just save Amkar.

They were only level for 10 minutes though, when Andrei Karyaka restored Saturn’s lead.

But with time running out Amkar managed a last-gasp equaliser when Ristic proved he doesn’t just score them, he can also provide and his knock down was blasted in by the Bulgarian Georgi Peev to earn a valuable point for the Urals side.

SATURDAY

Tom Tomsk 1-1 Alania Vladikavkaz
Tom Tomsk’s Ukrainian-born, Russian/American depending on who calls him up first forward Yevgeni Starikov had a fine game on Saturday, NMTB’s not questioning that. But he didn't half make a meal of his collision with Simeon Bulgaru to win a penalty.

Since the departure of Sergei Kornilenko (to stand isolated up front for Rubin while the other 10 players defend), Artem Dzyuba has filled the void left by the giant Belarusian rather well, and he opened the scoring from the subsequent spot kick.

NMTB is struggling for a phrase to succinctly describe this, but Tom suffered a Michael-Turner-free-kick-mix-up-that-cost-Sunderland-a-goal-at-Liverpool-thanks-to-Stuart-Attwell moment, although thankfully for them the referee interpreted the situation differently (and most would say, correctly) and Eldar Nizamutdinov’s goal was chalked off.

Alania did equalise though when Georgy Gabulov took advantage of some awful goalkeeping to give them a much-needed point.

Terek Grozny 1-3 Anzhi Makhachkala
A helluva lot of money was staked on this match between the Caucasus sides from the bookmakers that were taking bets on it; in excess of $2m, if you believe some reports.

Certainly Terek rested a few, although that could quite conceivably be because it’s the end of the season and they’ve got nowt to play for.

Rumour has it the guestbook on Terek’s official website was down on the day of the match, and for some unknown reason Ramzan Kadyrov, who combines his role as club president with that of head of Chechnya, wasn’t in attendance.

Oh, and they had a man sent off and their manager Anatoly Baidachny wasn’t all that keen to speak to press afterwards, either.

These three points did Anzhi the world of good. It will be interesting to see what happens when Terek travel to North Ossetia to face Alania next week, another side from the region down at the bottom looking for a win.

Just saying…

Dinamo Moskva 2-2 Rubin Kazan
Gurban Berdiyew must really have been fiddling with his prayer beads when the pilot of Rubin’s Yak-42 announced the plane taking them to Moscow had suffered engine failure 40 minutes after takeoff on Friday morning and they needed to make an emergency landing.

Christ knows what the one unnamed player scared of flying thought, although you do sort of wonder precisely how he imagined Rubin travelled to games when he signed for a club based 450 miles east of Moscow.

They’re usually super-tight at the back, Rubin. But they fell two behind in the first half thanks to a couple of headers from Dinamo’s Moldovan defender Alexandru Epureanu and Kevin Kuranyi.

Rubin upped their game after the break though and were the dominant side for the most. They have been showing they do know what to do with the ball in the final third of late, and their Ecuadorian midfielder Christian Noboa pulled one back with a neat volley just after the restart, then scored an equaliser on 65 minutes.

Dinamo’s charge for a European spot is over. This was their fourth draw in five games, but they're unbeaten in six and arguably results have improved under Miodrag Bozovic.

It will be interesting to see if the rumours of Muscovite budget cuts doing the rounds yesterday are true. The word is some key players might be shipped out to balance the books...

SUNDAY

Spartak Nalchik 1-1 CSKA Moskva
Both these teams needed a win on Sunday. Thankfully this wasn’t interpreted as “Mustn’t lose so we’ll play all defensive”, and we had a rather good game of football in the Kabardino-Balkar Republic.

After turning over Zenit 3-1 on their own turf earlier in the week, CSKA were looking for victory to put pressure on Luciano Spalletti’s side before their game with Rostov, while Nalchik have aspirations of a Europa League spot.

The home supporters were out in the city drumming up support for the match, which was free entry, and it seemed to pay off. The atmosphere in the stadium was superb and Spartak Nalchik were playing some nice stuff; certainly they were the better side in the first half.

But they went behind when Seydou Doumbia won (“won” being the operative word) a penalty on the hour, which was duly dispatched by CSKA’s blue-dreadlocked dangerman Vágner Love.

Nalchik got a deserved point in the last minute though. After a spot of pinball on the edge of the box, Arsen Goshokov smashed in a superb equaliser that probably made Leonid Slutsky utter something a tad stronger than “gosh” as their faint title hopes ended.

Lokomotiv Moskva 1-1 Sibir Novosibirsk
Lokomotiv must’ve been clapping their hands when Goshokov scored, but failed to capitalise on their draw by being held at home to Sibir, whose relegation to the First Division was confirmed after just one season in the top flight.

Dmitri Sychev eventually found a way past a combination of Steve “sleeping policeman” Joseph-Renette, Nikola Valentic and Velice Sumulikoski (remember him, Ipswich and Preston fans?) to find the net with a superbly taken goal on 63 minutes, but Sibir pulled level to prevent Lokomotiv from pulling away from Spartak Nalchik in the European spots.

Dmitry Molosh, who has been known to belt them, walloped in a strike at the death.

It could have been so different if poor old Alan Gatagov hadn’t fluffed his lines while Loko were in front. The youngster suffered the ignominy of one of the season’s worst misses, and then further embarrassment when Rodolfo debagged him while he was lying on the floor. Luckily for Gatagov, it wasn’t the day he chose to go to work in his wife’s undies or anything embarrassing. Oops.

Spartak Moskva 0-0 Krylya Sovetov Samara
Domestically, Spartak’s season is over. They’ll certainly be in the Europa League next season and are free to concentrate on their Champions League game with Marseille next week.

Krylya have a horrible run-in and probably didn’t expect to get anything from this one, and they wouldn't have, were it not for Eduardo Lobos in nets for them.

He gave an assured performance and when the Brazilian was finally caught out by his fellow countryman Welliton, he failed to convert when well placed, while Dmitri Kombarov saw a shot hit the crossbar.

It’s Dinamo Moskva and Zenit St Petersburg in the Samaran’s final two fixtures and they’ll almost certainly need something from at least one of them…

Next fixtures: Sat 20 Nov Amkar Perm v Spartak Nalchik, Sibir Novosibirsk v Tom Tomsk, Anzhi Makhachkala v Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast, Krylya Sovetov Samara v Dinamo Moskva, Rostov v Lokomotiv Moskva, Rubin Kazan v Zenit St Petersburg, Alania Vladikavkaz v Terek Grozny, CSKA Moskva v Spartak Moskva

Goals galore, chavs and terrible toilet trips

2010-11-09T16:35:00Z

Good golly.

We had seven-goal thrillers in Siberia AND Moscow at the weekend, while evidently someone’s had a quiet word with Gurban Berdiyew and told him how to get Rubin Kazan playing some half-decent stuff in their opponents' half for a change.

Here’s what happened on match day 27 in the Russian Premier League.

FRIDAY

Spartak Nalchik 2-0 Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast
Getting beat by Spartak Nalchik is probably the least of Saturn’s worries at the minute. Before the week is out, the club could cease to exist.
Saturn’s chiefs have a meeting this Thursday with Moskovskaya Oblast governor Boris Gromov to discuss the financially stricken club’s future, which could result in a merger with Khimki of the First Division.

On the pitch, Andrey Gordeev has worked wonders in some incredibly taxing conditions, but not even he could prevent the Extra-Terrestrials from slipping to defeat in the Kabardino-Balkar Republic.

Results went Spartak Nalchik’s way on match day 27 (i.e. they won and Lokomotiv Moskva didn’t), meaning the race for the Europa League places is going to the wire.

Their striker Vladimir Dyadyun had scored 10 of their 35 goals in the Premier League this season prior to Friday, but he hobbled off in the first half. Fortunately for Yuri Krasnozhan they aren’t a one-man show and took the lead just before the break when Roman Kontsedalov scored a sublime penalty. The points were sealed on 65 minutes when Gogita Gogua’s drive was turned in by Arsen Goshokov.

SATURDAY

Amkar Perm 2-0 Terek Grozny
It was only last week that four experts affirmed here that Amkar were doomed, which of course meant on Saturday they decided to end their four-match losing streak at home to Terek and haul themselves out of the relegation zone.

They took the lead in the 24th minute through Mitar Novakovic, who headed a right-wing cross from just outside the six yard box past Soslan Dzhanayev. Terek are safe and playing for pride now, and looked pretty toothless up front; not even the introduction of Hector Bracamonte could alter their fortunes.

The Chechens fell further behind a minute after the restart when Georgi Peev’s low cross was superbly converted by Stevica Ristić, who not so long ago was playing at Uzbekistan’s we-used-to-be-famous-but-now-nobody-cares-because-all-our-famous-players-and-Phil-Scolari-have-left Bunyodkor (remember them?).

This relegation battle just got interesting. Maybe.

Anzhi Makhachkala 1-0 Tom Tomsk
Two more teams scrapping down there are Anzhi and Tom. Valeri Nepomniachi’s Tom ended a run of six games without a win in Siberia last week, but reverted to type in Dagestan, where Anzhi have consistently shown better form than on the road.

They were helped no end by Alexey Polyakov, Tom’s goalkeeper, who fumbled Ibra Kébé’s left-footed drive; Igor Strelkov reacted first to pounce on his error for the only goal of the game midway through the first half.

FC Rostov 1-1 Dinamo Moskva
Football is a fickle industry. We were talking not so long ago about Miodrag Bozovic being given the boot, but he’s taken the Muscovites up to seventh and they have an outside chance of a European spot. Stuff getting Dan Petrescu or Valery Gazzaev in, give the Count time.

Their Europa League hopes took a bit of a knock on Saturday. You can’t dispute the fact they’ve improved under Bozovic though, who took over when the club were languishing in 11th. Rostov were without Alexandru Gaţcan and on a five-match losing streak that has ended their own chances of European football, so Dinamo would’ve fancied something here.

But they fell behind when the brilliantly named Chavdar Yankov sent in a cross that bamboozled Anton Shunin and flew over his head and into the back of the net. He’s probably telling all his mates he meant it, this blog suspects (Yankov, not Shunin, obviously).

Dinamo found the equaliser they deserved six minutes after the restart when Andriy Voronin set Alexandr Samedov free, and despite having the first touch of NMTB’s mum in flippers, he managed to fire home from an acute angle and earn the Muscovites a point. That’s six matches without defeat for Dinamo.

SUNDAY

Sibir Novosibirsk 2-5 Zenit St Petersburg
This match was absolutely bonkers.

Zenit haven’t been themselves recently, probably because they’ve had games left, right and centre, so the last thing they wanted after playing Hadjuk Split on Thursday in the Europa League was this fixture 3,000 miles away from Croatia in Siberia.

Novosibirsk is three time zones ahead of St Petersburg, and it isn’t a surprise only Alexandr Anyukov and Igor Denisov from the starting XI in Croatia began this game.

Zenit found themselves two down after six minutes, both due to uncharacteristic defensive errors. Yuri Zhevnov in goal made an absolute mess of Ivan Nagibin’s second-minute strike, then shortly afterwards Vladimir Bystrov’s sloppy pass allowed Bartolomei Grzelak to add another.

Incredibly, their two-goal lead was wiped with just 15 minutes on the clock. Bystrov atoned for his error with a cool finish from a well worked move and Steve Joseph-Reinette turned the ball into his own net to put Zenit level.

After the break Luciano Spalletti’s side scored three unanswered goals and NMTB missed the lot, owing to being in the toilet. Thankfully this blog didn’t have the runs; instead, the visitors enjoyed a seven-minute blitz to put Sibir to the sword out east. Pick of the bunch was number four from Sergei Semak.

Zenit can win the league on Wednesday when they face CSKA.

Alania Vladikavkaz 0-0 Lokomotiv Moskva
If you believe the rumours, Yuri Semin will be leaving Lokomotiv and returning to Dynamo Kyiv (taking the excellent Oleksandr Aliyev with him, too), and he’ll be replaced in Moscow by BATE Borisov’s talented young coach Viktor Goncharenko. And instead of him will be… oh, who cares.

Loko haven’t been averse to the odd red card in 2010 and were missing Marko Basa due to suspension. They were a man light again at the weekend when Jan Durica hauled down Eidar Nizamutdinov in the box, only for Gheorghe Florescu to put his rather pathetic penalty wide. The reaction of the commentator and the Alania bench says it all.

Lokomotiv shuffled the pack and brought Malkhaz Asatiani on for Dmitri Tarasov and played the better football, but Alania grew as the game went on and had they not been so lacklustre in the opponent’s final third (this was their fourth game without scoring), they’d probably have won this.

CSKA Moskva 4-3 Krylya Sovetov Samara
Goals, goals, goals at Arena Khimki.

Alexandr Tarkhanov deserves a medal for his achievements at Krylya, what with taking them from certain relegation to the brink of safety.
CSKA made three changes from the side that lined up against Palermo last week and took the lead after just three minutes when Alan Dzagoev’s free-kick was met by an unmarked Alexey Berezutsky. They doubled their advantage five minutes later.

Manchester United fans might not be interested to know Zoran Tosic is doing quite well over in Russia, and it was his cross that was taken down by Tomas Necid, who took one touch before finishing well.

That looked game over after just eight minutes, and certainly after Tosic added a third from Dzagoev’s mazy run with 23 minutes remaining you’d have thought that was it, but Krylya staged a spirited comeback.

Oleg Ivanov’s drive beat a flat-footed Igor Akinfeev with 18 minutes left and then Berezutsky received his marching orders shortly afterwards for a foul in the box on Sergei Kuznetsov. Leilton converted the subsequent penalty, which set up a nervy last 10 minutes for the Muscovites.

Necid added his second and CSKA’s fourth at the death with a header, but Krylya came back again when Sergey Tkachev stabbed home from close range in injury time. They couldn’t find an equaliser though, and Leonid Slutsky’s side hung on for three valuable points in the pursuit of second.

MONDAY

Rubin Kazan 1-1 Spartak Moskva
NMTB treated this game much like a re-entering a suspiciously smelly bathroom: “I’ll give it 20 minutes.”

Watching Rubin’s ultra-defensive football is incredibly difficult for the neutral and they couldn’t really afford to lose this one, which ordinarily would’ve meant Gurban Berdiyew giving us a master class in how to shut a team out, but this blog rather enjoyed yesterday’s match. That's probably the first time NMTB could ever say that about a Rubin fixture.

Mainly because they actually displayed some attacking intent and Rubin were unlucky not to be leading by the time Ibson split their normally watertight defence with a beautiful pass to find the league’s top scorer Welliton, who did just before half time what he’s been doing all season.

That was just the fifth league goal Rubin have conceded at home all year. Putting them in at the other end has been the problem, although that’s kind of to be expected if you sign Obafemi Martins (not in the matchday squad yesterday), and a lack of cutting edge up top looked to be costing them again against Spartak.

They did manage to conjure up an equaliser deep into injury time though. Sergei Kornilenko had been throwing himself about theatrically all game and was booked for his troubles, but he headed a late, late goal to move Rubin back into second and eight points ahead of Spartak with three games remaining.

The Krasno-Belye can now at least concentrate on that massive Champions League tie with Marseille they’ve got coming up.

Revealed: Next month's Russian results

2010-11-05T15:49:00Z

After Zenit St Petersburg’s recent wobble, normal service was resumed at the top of the Russian Premier League with their 3-0 win over Alania Vladikavkaz at the Petrovsky Stadium last weekend.

Zenit are now six points clear of prayer bead twirling nil-all merchant Gurban "we’ll play all negative and everything for 80 minutes then kind of give it a go in the last 10" Berdiyew’s Rubin Kazan with a game in hand as we enter the final straight.

It’s not quite so cut-and-dried down at the bottom, mind.

This week Never Mind the Bolsheviks invited three proper journalists in James Appell, Pavel Astafiev and Artur Petrosyan over to FourFourTwo.com to discuss who’s going down, down, down in Russia. It’s like Challenge Lawro, but better. Hopefully.

Tom Tomsk
James Tom have all but given up on this season, having all but assured themselves of safety – so much so that Valery Nepomniaschy admitted last week that his side were already thinking about next season. The combined scoring talents of Dzyuba and Sergey Kornilenko – the latter now departed to Rubin – have seen them through the year.

Pavel The team with one of the most experienced coaches in the League (Valery Nepomniaschy) and several leaders (Valery Klimov and Artem Dzyuba) are in the most comfortable situation.

Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast
NMTB Saturn won’t be relegated, but there are serious problems in Ramenskoye.

James A limp end to the season is predicted for Saturn, though they have accrued easily enough points for it not to matter. Beset by financial problems, with the lowest average attendance in the Premier League, they have the goalkeeping heroics of Antonin Kinsky to thank for another season out of relegation danger.

Pavel Another team with great financial problems (the players weren’t paid for four months) and a dubious future. If Saturn hadn't got so many points in the middle of the season, probably they would be relegated by now.

Krylia Sovetov Samara
NMTB Krylia are the only ever-present side in the Premier League side outside of Moscow and St Petersburg, but they’ve got a wretched run-in. Krylia should have enough points to stay up.

Artur The beginning of the season when Krylia Sovetov had problems leaves no doubts that Samara would struggle against relegation. But the appointment of Alexander Tarkhanov was a real turning point and now Krylia are not a candidate for relegation.

James Krylia looked down and out with half of the season played. They were bottom of the pile in mid-July, but a battling 0-0 draw against Spartak sparked a turnaround which has almost seen them to safety. They also have 19-year-old midfielder Ibragim Tsallagov to thank – his development this season has been astonishing.

Anzhi Makhachkala
NMTB Dagestan is a difficult place to visit, and that’s not just down to the state of the pitch.

James They were promoted top of the First Division but lost their manager barely days into the 2010 season. They play in the warmest part of Russia and yet have the worst pitch in the Premier League by some distance. They're on a run of six defeats in seven games, but managed a superb 3-3 draw against Zenit a fortnight ago.

Pavel Strange story with the dismissal of Omari Tetradze, who has lead the team from the First Division, which could’ve been a disaster, but it seems the club will stay in the Premier League. Probably one of the reasons is the large quantity of teams from the Caucasus region.

Alania Vladikavkaz
James Some might say Alania are fortunate in that they may survive only by virtue of other teams around them being even worse than they are. I’d say that, considering they only had four weeks to prepare for life in the Premier League after the demise of FK Moskva, they’ve performed miracles.

Pavel A team with great history – and great debts. In Russia, Alania are an undesirable team for loans from all Premier League clubs. Stories of unpaid transfer fees (and they are really big) for Abdoul-Gafar Mamah, Ivan Ivanov and Ivan Stoyanov are just proof of the correctness of their position.

Artur None of four Caucasus teams will be relegated, simply because they need each other for next season, and they'll make sure each of them will keep their place in the Premier League.

Amkar Perm
NMTB Scoring goals has been the problem this season. Georgi Peev is their top scorer; he has three. Emile Heskey has more than that, and he’s played fewer games than the Bulgarian.

Pavel Mistakes in coaching and scouting will probably lead to relegation. The old guard (Peev, Vitali Grishin, Sergei Volkov and Martin Kushev) cannot work wonders every season.

Artur Along with Alania, Amkar are probably the weakest team in the Premier League. Plus (rumours say) recently they played a fixed match, although they were told by RFU officials not to. So after that in each following game they were punished by referees for not obeying (just remember that Lokomotiv penalty). So now (as rumours say) they're destined for relegation.

Sibir Novosibirsk
James Sibir have been great to watch – 80 goals have been scored in the 26 league games they’ve been involved in. It’s just a shame 50 of them have been at the wrong end, which tells its own tale. But they’ll always have a home win against PSV in the Europa League to remember this season by.

Pavel No chance of them staying in the Premier League.

Artur Sibir are a team who try to play nice football like, say, West Brom, but the big clubs don’t want them in the Premier League – Novosibirsk is too far away. Just look how many strange penalties were awarded to their opponents this season. I spoke to one Sibir player recently; he's shocked with what’s been happening but he knows they can do nothing about it.

FINAL TABLES

So that’s it. Amkar and Sibir are down. That’s official, four experts can’t be wrong, can they?

We’re all in agreement, but that’s not the end of things, oh no. FourFourTwo will return to this one. Come the end of the season we’ll mock the losers for their general rubbishness, while the winners shall be lauded with praise and worshipped for their knowledge of all things Russian football. For a bit.

Pavel Astiev is a freelance sports journalist. He writes for Sports Daily and Total Football amongst other publications in Russia. He is also a consultant to Russian and European football agents.

Artur Petrosyan is Sportbox’s football editor and has been a Spartak Moskva fan since he was five. He also makes appearances on Russian television and radio.

Shakhtar’s boys from Brazil bring sunshine to the east

2010-11-03T16:40:00Z

It might not be too long before you start hearing a lot more about Bruno. Not Frank or Brookes.

Nope, we're talking 19-year-old Bruno Renan, who last week became the zillionth Brazilian to turn out for Shakhtar Donetsk. (That’s not an official figure, but that seems to be a state secret, as their press officer didn’t want give NMTB an exact number).

The midfielder played about an hour of Shakhtar’s cup tie at FC Poltava on Wednesday, and he’s someone Mircea Lucescu rates highly.

Chelsea were rumoured to be sniffing around Bruno before he pitched up in Ukraine last year, which brought the total number of Brazilians currently on the club’s books to eight; nine, if you're a pedantic so-and-so and include Eduardo.

And it isn't a coincidence not one of these occupy a place in the Romanian manager’s backline, mainly because his ethos is this: the solid, but unspectacular eastern Europeans keep them out at one end, while the Brazilians, with all their flair and creativity, put them in at the other.

There’s every chance Mister will "go Brazilian" in the January transfer window, too. Shakhtar’s globetrotting scouts have been back in South America to check up on Santos’s Alan Patrick, a midfielder who’s already rejected their advances once this year.

And during the last international break the club took two 16-year-old wonderkids along with the first-team players not away with their countries – so, basically their Brazilian contingent – for two fixtures against Turkish sides in Antalya.

Willian (yes, Willian) Araujo dos Santos and Italo Silva Dantas were spotted over a year ago by an ex-Southampton player now clocking up the air miles with the Ukrainian champs.

You’d imagine Oleksiy Cherednyk has been on more far-flung trips than Judith Chalmers over the last nine years, and judging by the number of players he revealed to have scouted in a recent interview with Salon Dona i Basa (1,259), it’s fair to say he’s not been sat on his backside swigging fancy cocktails in the hotel bar.

It was Cherednyk whom advised Shakhtar they could do a whole lot worse than slapping in a bid for Neymar last year, which they subsequently did last December.

One problem the club face is persuading players to relocate to eastern Europe. Donetsk is an unprepossessing industrial city and not everyone finds Ukraine an appealing place to live, not even if Rinat Akhmetov is waving his chequebook in your face.

When Ilsinho was at Shakhtar he admitted the extent of his knowledge about the country before he arrived was the cold weather.

Cherednyk’s world-weary wingman is Serhiy Atelkin, a former Shakhtar striker, but the pair don’t hunt in packs and on their last trip went their separate ways at the airport. According to his chat with Salon, Cherednyk travelled to Belo Horizonte and Sao Paulo, while Atelkin visited Porto Alegre and Rio de Janeiro. Their souvenirs for Mircea Lucescu were 120 CDs of player footage.

It isn't just Brazil where they go looking for their future stars though. Shakhtar have two scouts on permanent European duty and another couple in South America, while China and Africa are other potential shopping destinations. Certainly though it’s the Brazilians who've captured the imaginations of Ukrainians.

There are currently 29 of them in the Vyscha Liga:

8: Shakhtar Donetsk
6: Dynamo Kyiv
4: Metalist Kharkiv
3: Karpaty Lviv
2: Metalurg Zaporizhya, Volyn Lutsk
1: Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk, Metalurg Donetsk, PFC Sevastopol, Tavriya Simferopol

(There's also Leonardo at Chernomorets Odesa in the Persha Liha, Ukraine’s second tier.)

The Brazilian championship is now broadcast live in Ukraine, and the friendly between the two countries in Derby recently generated massive interest out east.

Although Shakhtar are synonymous with importing Brazilians, they weren’t the first Ukrainian club to bring one to the Vyscha Liga. The pioneers were Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk, now managed by Juande Ramos, who signed Emerson (not the big-haired bloke once of Middlesbrough) some 14 years ago.

It does take time for them to settle. Mercedes, as Emerson was christened by Dnipro’s fans on account of his speed, loathed the weather and food when he arrived in Ukraine, while Douglas Costa – one of Shakhtar’s key players this season – endured a difficult bedding-in period.

There aren’t any cliques, but it certainly does help to have a few of your fellow countrymen around and Dynamo Kyiv’s boys from Brazil are close chums off the pitch, judging by Leandro Almeida’s postings on Twitter.

(Photo courtesy of Leandro's Twitpic)

It doesn’t always work out for the Brazilians, mind, and the likes of Ilsinho, Elano and Matuzalem all left in acrimonious circumstances, although the South American presence in Ukraine has indubitably raised the level of the league. Brandao is the second-highest foreign scorer in the Vyshcha Liga after Dynamo Kyiv’s Uzbek striker Maksim Shatskikh.

Marcelo Moreno, Shakhtar’s Bolivian striker, is also finding his feet in Ukraine. He didn’t exactly set the Premier League on fire during his loan spell with Wigan, but Mircea Lucescu has attributed his recent upturn in form to his time in Lancashire.

"I can say that after returning from England, Moreno completely changed," enthused the boss. "He gives his best both during training and matches. He lacked the understanding of our game, but now he is an integral part of it and it all turns out well for him. He pays less attention to discos and bars because here he has to choose: dance floor or football pitch. Perhaps he chose football."

The nightlife in Wigan must be sh*t.

Russian Review: McGeady, mullets and the Belarusian Karl Pilkington

2010-11-01T15:04:00Z

Matchday 26 in the Russian Premier League brought you sibling rivalry, World War One battlefields and a not so happy birthday for Obafemi Martins, explains Mark Gilbey...

Friday

Krylia Sovetov Samara 0-2 Rubin Kazan
It was just last week this blog was saying maybe Rubin boss Gurban Berdiyew should stick another man up top.

The bus-parking, prayerbead-twiddling Turkmenistani concurred, ditching his 4-2-3-1 and playing Sergei Kornilenko AND birthday boy Obafemi Martins (he’s 26, before you ask) in a conventional 4-4-2 on a very chilly evening in Samara.

It didn’t work.

During the first half, the commentator explained that "Rubin had more offsides than Krylia because they played more through balls." No, Rubin had more offsides than Krylia because they played Obafemi Martins.

He was hauled off at half-time and replaced by Aleksandr Ryazantsev, as Rubin reverted back to 4-2-3-1. The rewards for taking off the ineffective Nigerian were instantaneous.

Thirty seconds after the restart Ryazantsev fed Kornilenko and the Belarusian slotted the ball under Eduardo Lobos to score his first goal since joining on loan from Zenit St Petersburg in August.

He then added a second shortly afterwards to condemn Krylia to their first defeat in five matches. London buses and all that...

Saturday

Dinamo Moskva 4-1 Sibir Novosibirsk
Andriy Voronin taking corners? Might sound bonkers, but the ponytailed Liverpool flop almost scored direct from one after three minutes at Arena Khimki.

Both these sides have been demonstrating form that belies their current league positions of late. Sibir wouldn't be ensconced in the relegation zone if they’d played like this all season, while Dinamo might have been in the Europa League places. The Muscovites' manager Miodrag Bozović might even keep his job.

Sibir took the lead on the hour mark, but Dinamo scored a double in quick succession just a few minutes later and then repeated the feat in the dying moments to add some gloss to the scoreline.

Pick of the bunch was Aleksandr Samedov’s third in the 86th minute.

Sibir manager Igor Kruishenko - think an older, Belarusian Karl Pilkington with a ‘tache - said he felt "ashamed" after this defeat, which has all but confirmed their relegation after just one season in Russia’s top flight.

It’s not all been doom and gloom though: the Siberians beat PSV Eindhoven 1-0 in the Europa League not so long ago.

Spartak Moskva 2-1 FC Rostov
Sod Welliton’s brilliantness, it’s been all about Aiden McGeady recently. The Irishman is yet to taste defeat in the league since arriving in Moscow, and you do wonder if Spartak would’ve been sitting pretty in the Champions League places had he been there from the start of the season.

He’s been a revelation in Russia and was the architect of Spartak’s victory over Rostov at the weekend. They had to come from behind though. Mullet-sporting Anri Khagush gave the visitors the lead in the Luzhniki, but McGeady took over, creating one and scoring the winner in the last minute to keep the pressure on Rubin in second.

First, the winger beat two men and crossed for Welliton to head home, then he converted a spot-kick after Aleksandr Kozlov was felled by a clumsy challenge from Isaac Okoronkwo.

It was a super penalty, mainly because by the time McGeady struck it, Rostov’s goalkeeper Anton Amelchenko had encroached so far off his line he was in danger of reaching the ball before the Irishman.

Sunday

Tom Tomsk 1-0 Amkar Perm
There was a call to arms in Siberia last week. Financially stricken Tom faced their biggest game of the season against Amkar and offered fans free tickets to roar them to victory at the Trud Stadion in yesterday's relegation six-pointer.

Last week the visitors’ supporters penned a letter to the Premier League, claiming they were deliberately engineering Amkar’s relegation to the First Division after some controversial refereeing decisions in recent weeks. You may not have heard the last of this conspiracy theory thingy considering Sergei Volkov was sent off in the first half.

It was a turgid opening 45 minutes and even if everyone has got together and ensured Amkar are going down, they wouldn't have had to influence this match, such was their poor performance.

They fell behind when Aleksandr Kharitonov volleyed in the only goal of the game for Tom, who looked very comfortable. Barring a miraculous recovery from Amkar, the Siberians will be playing Premier League football next season.

Terek Grozny 1-1 Spartak Nalchik
The European dream is slipping away from Spartak. And if the rest of the continent even knew where the Kabardino-Balkar Republic was, they’d be pleased a trip to Nalchik could be off the cards.

Terek have nothing to play for and languish in mid-table, but didn’t give their Caucasus neighbours an easy ride, and they took the lead on 13 minutes through Andrei Vasyanovich’s own goal.

Spartak came right back into it though, and dominated what transpired to be a highly entertaining fixture in the Chechen capital. They had to wait until three minutes from the end for a deserved equaliser though, when Vladimir Dyadyun muscled his way into the box and side-footed past Soslan Dzhanayev.

Zenit St Petersburg 3-0 Alania Vladikavkaz
It was Kerzhakov versus Kerzhakov in Piter.

Hotshot striker Aleksandr lead the line for Zenit, while little brother Mikhail kept goal for the visitors. The stats said that the younger Kerzha was on a hiding to nothing: Alania have only picked up one point in the last 10 years from their trips to Russia’s second city, and NMTB has ran out of fingers and thumbs counting how many goals Aleksandr has managed in recent weeks. Inevitably, big brother scored. Twice.

Zenit were uncharacteristically sloppy, probably as a corollary of playing so many games recently – Luciano Spalletti has already said he’ll rest players against Hadjuk Split on Thursday – but they never really looked like letting this one slip and recorded their first win in three matches.

After Danko Lazović scored from a free-kick, Aleksandr tapped in his first just before half time and slotted a second under his outrushing brother after the break to win the sibling bragging rights, although he was denied the opportunity of a hat-trick by being substituted – much, you'd imagine, to the relief of Mikhail.

Lokomotiv Moskva 1-0 Anzhi Makhachkala
Officially this was a home game for Lokomotiv, after the fixture between the pair earlier in the year was switched to Moscow following concerns over the state of the Dinamo Stadion’s pitch in Makhachkala. God knows what it was like then, because on Sunday it resembled a World War One battlefield.

Dagestan isn't an easy place to visit, not least when you’re a man short. Marko Basa received his marching orders on half time, but Lokomotiv managed a winner at the death when Dmitri Sychev smashed home from inside the penalty area to keep the Muscovites in the Europa League places.

Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast 1-1 CSKA Moskva
A few weeks ago, CSKA looked a shoo-in to usurp Rubin and take that second Champions League group stage spot. Three successive draws later, it looks like going down to the wire.

Tomas Necid’s scrappy goal gave them the lead, but the Extra-Terrestrials equalised when Aleksei Ivanov met a cross to volley spectacularly into the back of the net.

It was two points dropped for Leonid Slutsky’s side though when Ruslan Nakhushev was controversially adjudged to have brought down Necid in the area and saw red on 53 minutes.

Mark Gonzalez missed the resultant penalty and despite some late CSKA pressure, they couldn’t force a winner in Ramenskoye, leaving the Muscovites three points behind Rubin with a game in hand.

Free Premier League football…in Siberia

2010-10-29T12:02:00Z

We’ve reached the tail-end of the season in the Premier League over in Russia, meaning terms like “relegation six-pointer” can officially be attached to fixtures like Tom Tomsk versus Amkar Perm down at the bottom this weekend on match day 26.

10) Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast 28
11) Tom Tomsk 27
12) Krylia Sovetov Samara 26
13) Anzhi Makhachkala 24
14) Alania Vladikavkaz 24
-----------------------
15) Amkar Perm 22
16) Sibir Novosibirsk 18

If Tom don’t pull their socks up, they could well be joining their Siberian chums Sibir Novosibirsk on a trip to the First Division.

They had started the season rather well, chalking up five victories and three draws in their opening 11 matches, and were on a three-game winning streak when the Premier League entered a two-month hiatus for the World Cup last summer.

Since then, Valeri Nepomniachi’s side have endured a wretched run of form.

In Tom’s 14 fixtures that followed the division’s restart they’ve picked up a paltry nine points. That’s relegation form, and it makes Amkar’s 1,000-odd mile trek over the Urals to see them a rather tasty one this weekend.

A win should ensure a sixth straight season of Premier League football for the Siberians.

It would establish an eight-point gap between them and Amkar with four games remaining, and only twice since 1998, when the league adopted its current format of two up, two down has a club with 30 gone down.

It’s a big one: thrown in all the superlatives you can think of, Sky Sports style. Tom need all the help they can get at their 15,000-capacity Trud Stadion, which is why they're offering fans free admission this Sunday in a bid to roar them on to a first win in seven games.

“Everyone knows that the 12th player of Tommy is a major force, helping the team win, even against the leading clubs of Russia. And we believe that the fans of Tomsk, in spite of recent setbacks, will not to turn away from their team!” The club’s official website said.

“The whole Tom team hopes to play more successfully until the finish, but without the support of the fans it will be hard to do this.

At the proposal of the players, trainers, club management and the fans, we have decided to make entrance to the match against Amkar free. In these difficult days now is not the time to remember any resentment or bad matches. We all need to unite for the sake of Tommy and for the future of the Tomsk football.”

These have been tough times for Tom. Last year the financially-stricken club nearly ceased to exist, and were only saved after penning a sob story to Dmitri Medvedev and Vladimir Putin asking for their assistance, who subsequently found sponsors among local businesses to bail Tom out.

A full house will arguably help them against Amkar. If you listen to the visitor’s fans this week though, they’ll tell you they won’t just be up against a 12th man on Sunday, but also a 13th.

Amkar’s supporters yesterday penned an open letter to Russian Football Union and Premier League officials, claiming they are deliberately engineering their club’s relegation to the First Division.

Conspiracy or not, you can’t argue they have been on the wrong end of some “controversial” decisions of late.

In last week’s 2-1 defeat at home to Lokomotiv Moskva a very dubious penalty was awarded to the visitors with 11 minutes remaining that had Amkar up in arms.

The club’s Tajik manager Rashid Rakhimov said afterwards: “I only wish they gave those sort of decisions to us.”

And in the game that preceded that against Zenit St Petersburg, Amkar had two players sent off and another contentious penalty given to their opponents; chuck in Kevin Kurányi’s very late, and very offside winner for Dinamo Moskva in the match before THAT, and then you can perhaps see why they aren’t happy chappies in Perm.

Evidently the club don’t think it’s such a cockamamie idea, as they’ve posted the full letter on their official website thanking fans for their support. Either that, or they're just putting pressure on the referee.

It might help if they started scoring goals, though. Amkar have only managed 17 this season and their leading scorer, Georgi Peev, has a rather feeble three, which might go some way to explaining why they are down at the bottom.

You can’t argue that the Premier League, if given the choice, would probably prefer it if Amkar went down as opposed to the two Caucasus clubs above them, Alania Vladikavkaz and Anzhi Makhachkala, though.

Football is being used as a tool to bring stability to the region, and it perhaps wasn’t a coincidence that when a spare Premier League spot was up for grabs after FC Moskva’s bankruptcy this year that 15th placed Kuban Krasnodar weren’t spared the drop, and instead North Ossetian outfit Alania Vladikavkaz were plucked from the First Division to replace the Muscovites.

But this blog wouldn't go so far as saying this means the powers that be are on crusade to banish Amkar to Russia’s second tier.

Certainly more attention is paid to who the referee is in Russia than in England. Almost without fail a club will publish the official’s details on their official website. It might not all be doom and gloom for Amkar, though.

Alexander Kolobayev, the chap in charge on Sunday also officiated this fixture at the Trud Stadion last year and they won 2-1.

Shakhtar post Arsenal's video nasties

2010-10-26T10:42:00Z

‘Ark at him.

Mircea Lucescu wasn’t a happy chappie at Shakhtar Donetsk’s open training session ahead of their Vyscha Liga fixture with Vorskla Poltava, even if it was his 200th league match in charge of the Ukrainian champions.

The Romanian was still smarting from that spanking Arsenal gave them last Tuesday. Mostly, this anger was directed at the Norwegian referee in charge that night, Svein Oddvar Moen.

“We have analysed the game," bellowed Lucescu. "Naturally, we did not play our best match. But it is easy to be in Arsenal’s shoes when one is gifted with two goals. Their opener was 100% offside with the Arsenal player more than a yard ahead.”

"Also there should have been no penalty when they scored their third."

"I have enough experience in Europe to be surprised with such refereeing. If games involving English teams are officiated by Scandinavians, the refs' sympathies are always going to be on their side. They share the same Anglo-Saxon culture. Many of their referees are even educated in England."

He continued: “I can not say that Arsenal created so many scoring opportunities. Five goals conceded – it is certainly a lot to us. But again, to some extent, it all started with two serious errors by the referee.

"I am sure the return leg will be quite different,'' said the Romanian. ''I would like our supporters to learn - and put the same kind of pressure on the officials as the Gunners' fans did when that penalty against us was awarded.

"At international level it is very important and this kind of pressure is everywhere. This refers to the big clubs such as FC Barcelona, Real Madrid, Chelsea, Arsenal… The teams of eastern Europe should strive towards this way of supporting and our fans should help us with that.”

Put bluntly, Shakhtar simply didn’t perform at the Emirates, but at least attribute being cr*p to something vaguely plausible, Mircea.

He had a readymade excuse in three of his best players missing through injury: Dmytro Chygrynskyy and Douglas Costa were both only fit for the bench, while Fernandinho had his leg broken last month.

NMTB was disappointed. They didn’t do themselves justice and this defeat mentally affected the players, judging by how they transpired to create so few chances during their 1-0 win against Vorskla.

Hopefully they’ll give FC Poltava of Druha Liga a damn good hiding in the cup this week, which should go some way to restoring that confidence. After that, they’ve got just one game – and quite a big one, too – against Juande Ramos’ fourth-placed Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk before Arsene Wenger’s lot arrive in eastern Ukraine.

The open training session wasn’t the end of the matter though, and Mister broached the subject again after the 153rd league victory of his six-year reign.

“We will never get the help which the big clubs receive in European competitions. First, he [the referee] counted the goal from a clear offside and then, before conceding the third goal from the penalty spot, he did not take into account, while awarding a penalty-kick, that both players were pushing each other in the box.

"Moreover, Rosicky hit Kucher in the face with his elbow, Wilshere brutally played against Hübschman. This is an important issue. We posted the visuals on our website - I hope UEFA will turn its attention to what is happening.

"I would also not like Scandinavian referees to officiate matches involving English teams. Perhaps they should be Italians, Spaniards and others. Some might say that I am overcritical concerning the referees’ issue but when such situations arise, one starts wondering.”

See the clipreel on Shakhtar's site

What has appeared on Shakhtar’s website is a video feature entitled: “Arsenal-Shakhtar: moments, thought-provoking,” which is the eagerly awaited sequel to “Deadly moments from the match: Obolon-Shakhtar” that documented the club’s last defeat in September.

See THAT clipreel on Shakhtar's site

In fairness, Fernandinho did have his leg broken in their 1-0 defeat, but nobody died.

Shakhtar can’t play that badly twice, not with a sell-out crowd at the Donbass intimidating the ref, anyway. They haven’t lost at home since 2008 and the last time Arsene Wenger brought his team to Donetsk they were on the end of 3-0 tonking, even if that was a decade ago.

A score draw is the most likely outcome. Another Shakhtar defeat, though, and we might be seeing Mircea post another one of his video nasties.

Conspiracies, spies & bad penalty decisions

2010-10-25T11:43:00Z

It won’t be remembered as a cracker, round 25 of the Russian Premier League, but Zenit St Petersburg conceding three at Anzhi Makhachkala? None of the four sides in European action managing a win AND football’s best moustache making an appearance in Vladikavkaz? Oy, oy, oy!

Saturday

Sibir Novosibirsk 0-0 Spartak Moskva

This fixture was a proper goalfest earlier in the year. It finished 5-3 to Spartak, so this blog had no hesitation setting its alarm for Saturday’s 8.30am kickoff.

Sod’s law said it would be naff.

Of course, if you were hardcore (which NMTB definitely wasn’t), Volgar-Gazprom Astrakhan versus SKA-Energiya Khabarovsk in the First Division began at 7am Moscow time yesterday, which is 4 o’clock in the morning if you live in the UK.

The old adage “one game at a time” meant bugger all to Spartak’s Valery Karpin, who rested half the side who lined up against Chelsea in the Champions League last week, probably with Wednesday’s fixture against Zenit in mind, which made for a disjointed performance against the division’s bottom side.

Even the introduction of in-form birthday boy Welliton on the hour mark did little to liven up Karpin’s 50th league game in charge, and Sibir will probably look back on this as an opportunity missed.

When you’re deep in the brown stuff like Igor Kriushenko’s boys, draws mean diddly-squat – you need wins – and Sibir’s next three games are Dinamo Moskva, Zenit and Lokomotiv Moskva.

Best get ready for the First Division then.

Aiden McGeady was one bright(ish) spot for Spartak, but NMTB’s one abiding memory of this fixture was a couple of pitch invaders giving the local police the run around.

Sibir are six points adrift with five matches remaining, while Spartak won’t catch CSKA in third, meaning Champions League football is off the menu next year (unless they win it this year, of course).

Alania Vladikavkaz 0-0 Dinamo Moskva

Borefest #2 kicked off shortly afterwards, and a lack of action has probably meant internet nerds have stopped having a butchers at those saucy snaps of spy Anna Chapman in the Russian edition of Maxim (predictably with a “For Your Eyes Only” headline) and started discussing what the dickens Valery Gazzaev was doing in Vladikavkaz.

Conspiracy theorists will put forth the idea he was running the rule over his new club. Ah, but which one?

Walter has been linked with assuming the Alania presidency AND becoming Dinamo’s new manager of late.

There is, of course a more innocent explanation: the ex-Dynamo Kyiv manager was probably just in Vladikavkaz to celebrate the home side’s title triumph 15 years ago, which he masterminded.

If possible, his facial aperture looked better in 1995 than what it does today.

This game was devoid of any real quality and that’s not because of Andriy Voronin; he was on the bench.

That’s seven points from the last three games for the Muscovites who’ve crept into the top half, but it doesn’t look Miodrag Božović is going to at the helm next season.

Dan Petrescu has also been linked with replacing the Montenegrin.

Spartak Nalchik 2-1 Tom Tomsk

Gambling folk would’ve had this one down as a home win. Tom Tomsk had lost their last six games on the road prior to this and Valeri Nepomniachi (the chap who coached Cameroon at Italia ’90), wasn’t able to halt that.

Spartak Nalchik were made to work for the three points, mind.

Yevgeny Starikov’s header from a free-kick gave the visitors an unexpected lead on 55 minutes until Vladimir Dyadyun equalised, and with the game drifting away to a draw, Roman Kontsedalov’s cross was eventually finished off by David Siradze after a game of penalty area pinball in the 93rd minute to keep the Caucasus club’s dream of a Europa League spot alive.

Lokomotiv Moskva are only keeping them out of the European places on goal difference, while Tomsk are 11th on 27 points, three shy of the magic 30, supposedly the Premier League’s “safety” figure.

Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast 1-0 Terek Grozny

Saturn must’ve been quaking in their boots at the prospect of Hector Bracamonte’s name on the Terek Grozny teamsheet.

The VERY big-haired Argentinean has scored five times against the Ramenskoye side over the years, but this being a day of awful football, predictably meant Bracamonte didn’t add to that tally.

The mid-table clash was settled by Aleksandr Sapeta with 11 minutes remaining.

Sunday

Amkar Perm 1-2 Lokomotiv Moskva

Bar CSKA-Rubin, Sunday was a palpably better day of football, although perhaps not if you're happen to be called Amkar Perm, who suffered their third defeat on the spin in controversial circumstances.

They had gone ahead thanks to Andrei Topchu’s goal, but when you’re down at the bottom, the luck’s against you and all that.

Lokomotiv had only one fit striker in Dmitri Sychev, and had wondered where the goals would could from and Yuri Semin’s pre-match worries seemed justified until with 12 minutes left this happened…

Understandably, Amkar weren’t very happy.

A couple of minutes later Ivan Cherenchikov got himself sent off, and a bad day at the office was compounded in the last minute when Rodolfo acrobatically stuck away the winner for the Muscovites.

Amkar occupy the final relegation spot.

CSKA Moskva 0-0 Rubin Kazan

Igor Akinfeev had kept five clean sheets in a row prior to this one, while Rubin aren’t exactly renowned for their attacking prowess, and with Obafemi Martins up front on his own for the visitors, this third versus second battle was never going to have goals in it.

You can’t argue Gurban Berdiýew’s 4-5-1 isn't effective.

They’ve been champions two years running and you don’t go three games unbeaten against Barcelona by accident, but putting them in at the other end is the problem for Rubin, mainly because most of the team are back defending.

Someone should tell him you need to score goals to win football matches.

While they were doing a fine job of keeping blue dreadlocked Brazilian Vágner Love under wraps, Martins wasn’t having much joy as a lone striker and smacking balls up to the Nigerian to feed off proved futile.

You just keep thinking to yourself, stick another man up top. It might be something Berdiýew should consider employing in the Champions League as well, what with Europe’s fifth highest summer spenders managing just one goal (from the penalty spot) in 270 minutes in the competition.

You don’t know how much fun this blog has covering their games on live text at FourFourTwo.com.

Predictably, the closest we came to a goal was from a set-piece, when Mark González’s free-kick hit the bar.

CSKA are two points behind Rubin in second, having played two games less.

Anzhi Makhachkala 3-3 Zenit St Petersburg

Wowsers! Zenit followed suit with the rest of Russia’s European representatives and rested a few players. And, like them, failed to win.

Man-of-the-moment Aleksandr Kerzhakov, who’s managed 15 goals in 18 games didn’t fly out with the squad, which meant big-money signing from Rubin, Aleksandr Bukharov (Berdiýew could’ve done with him yesterday), the bloke brought in to replace him, finally managed to get a start.

Luciano Spallettii shouldn’t have underestimated Anzhi. This was Zenit’s fourth game in Dagestan’s capital, and the fourth they’ve failed to win.

They fell behind on three minutes after Jan Holenda lobbed reserve goalkeeper Yuri Zhevnov, before Danny took control of things.

After a long spell on the sidelines with injury, the Portuguese international is having a fantastic season in Russia.

He ran half the length of the pitch and played a one-two with Bukharov on the edge of the box to set himself up to chip Ilya Abayev in the Anzhi goal and score the equaliser on eight minutes.

Konstantin Zyryanov then put Zenit ahead and Danny gave the unbeaten league leaders a two-goal cushion with a sublime finish on 63 minutes, but relegation-haunted Anzhi staged a spirited fight back in Dagestan.

Nicolae Josan scored with 10 minutes left and deep into injury time the unthinkable happened. Nicolas Lombaerts slipped in the penalty area, allowing Mikhail Bakayev to fire home a late equaliser and give the home side an unlikely (and welcome) point.

It was the first time Zenit had conceded three under Spalletti, not that it will have too much an impact on the title race.

They’re six points clear of Rubin with two games in hand, although yesterday proved they aren’t adverse to the odd c**k-up. Spartak away on Wednesday evening is going to be a cracker.

Anzhi are two points above the relegation zone.

Rostov 1-2 Krylia Sovetov Samara

Rostov started the season well, while Krylia struggled.

Now it’s the home side who’ve given up the ghost and begun losing every week, while the Samarans have realised that if they win games, it will be considerably easier to maintain their record of being the only non Moscow/St Petersburg-based club to be ever-present in the Premier League since the collapse of the Soviet Union.

Krylia appeared doomed after going eight games without a victory earlier in the year, but they’ve won four of the last seven games of now.

This was Rostov’s fourth defeat on the bounce.

Nenad Đorđević opened the scoring on 10 minutes, only for Roman Adamov, on loan from Rubin, to equalise before half-time.

And it was another loanee, Pavel Yakovlev of Spartak Moskva, who expertly dinked in the winner with 19 minutes remaining.

Rostov are now nine points off Lokomotiv in the European spots, while Krylia have hauled their asses four points clear of the relegation zone.

Premier League table (25 games unless stated)

Zenit St. Petersburg 57 (23 games)
Rubin Kazan 51
CSKA Moskva 49 (23)
-----
Spartak Moskva 40
Lokomotiv Moskva 39
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Spartak Nalchik 39
Rostov 33
Dinamo Moskva 33 (24)
Terek Grozny 31
Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast 28
Tom Tomsk 27
Krylia Sovetov Samara 26
Anzhi Makhachkala 24
Alania Vladikavkaz 24
-----
Amkar Perm 22
Sibir Novosibirsk 18

Next fixtures: Dinamo Moskva v CSKA Moskva, Spartak Moskva v Zenit St Petersburg (both Wednesday)

10 things Chelsea should know about Spartak

2010-10-19T10:32:00Z

Valery Karpin probably didn’t expect tonight’s game to be a table-top clash. Both sides on six points, the winner will almost certainly qualify for the next round. For the loser? Well, there are three more games, so never mind.
That’s the problem with the group stages, there’s a lack of urgency and suspense. Can’t we just go back to a conventional knockout format? And make it just for, er, champions? Pretty please, UEFA?

1) Alex is injured (not that one, although Chelsea’s Alex is injured too)
Thank goodness that is the only Alex-based confusion we’ll endure tonight. We could have had all kind of problems there. Alex #1, Chelsea’s hammer-footed Brazilian, is out, while Alex #2, Spartak’s Brazilian playmaker, tore a thigh muscle during Friday’s 3-0 win over Alania Vladikavkaz.

Rest assured, Chelsea: Alex #1's absence won’t be felt anywhere near as much Alex #2, who is one of the Russian Premier League’s most creative midfielders.

2) Welliton is brilliant
The 23-year-old Brazilian was injured on matchday two against MSK Zilina, and only returned to the first team against Alania last week. Predictably, he managed a goal. Russia’s top scorer is due one in the Champions League: despite racking up a rather impressive 16 in 18 matches in the Premier League, he hasn’t found the net in the continental competition yet.

Like Didier Drogba, he scored back-to-back hat-tricks in August, and his form has sparked a debate about whether or not he should swap his Brazilian passport for a Russian one and play for the national team.

3) Spartak play on an artificial pitch
The build-up to this match has all been about John Terry, and for once the focus hasn’t been on where the England defender has put his willy.

You probably don’t need this blog to tell you that it was at the Luzhniki Stadion that John Terry slipped on his bottom during a penalty shootout in the 2008 Champions League final against Manchester United. It has been all over the news. NMTB’s mum doesn’t know what a goal is, but such has been the focus on the centre-back and the pitch, that she could probably regale you with the minutiae of that match’s conclusion.

The plastic pitch is football’s great leveller (or best excuse if you lose), and Carlo Ancelotti has got his excuses in early. At least we’re not forecast rain tonight in Moscow. It will be mighty cold, though.

4) Aiden McGeady will show English fans what all the fuss is about
The Irish wingman sustained a shin injury on international duty and hasn’t featured since returning to the Russian capital, but will play tonight.

McGeady has put in some superb performances since his big-money move from Celtic and it could be a ding-dong battle on that side of the pitch with Ashley Cole, who could be in a for a busy night. Fingers crossed fans in England will see why Scottish and Irish fans are raving about him.

5) Spartak haven't conceded in the group
Defence isn't exactly the strongest part of Spartak’s game, so Karpin is probably quite pleased that Drogba and Frank Lampard didn’t travel to Moscow.

The Krasnye-Belye have conceded 27 goals in 23 Premier League games, but somehow kept Marseille at bay in the Stade Velodrome. A third clean sheet and Spartak are as good as through; Ibson, used to shield the back four, will be key to them getting something out of tonight.

6) Jano Ananidze is one for the future
The young Georgian sub is one to look out for. The tricky winger is just 18, but has forced his way into advertising hoarding-destroying slaphead Temuri Ketsbaia’s Georgia team, and made his debut at just 16.

Ananidze can play on either flank or just off the striker, and he has the pace to worry defences. He’s also got an eye for goal. Like every promising youngster on the continent, the "next Georgi Kinkladze" has been linked with a move to Arsenal, even though Karpin has said he’ll reject bids for the youngster until he turns 20. Ananidze, not Karpin.

7) Spartak have only lost once in 10 games
Early on in the season, it looked like Karpin would be kicked out by the Spartak hierarchy – which would’ve been a bid awkward, considering he sits on the board as well.

But Karpin has turned it round and a run of just one defeat in the last 10 matches has pushed Spartak up to fourth in the Premier League, and they’ve won six of the last seven games.

8) Spartak’s last game was brought forward to help them
Spartak’s fixture against Alania Vladikavkaz was moved to Friday night to give the Muscovites an extra day to prepare for this evening’s match. They won 3-0: Brazilians Ari and Alex scored in the first half before another, Welliton, made it three just after the break, leaving Spartak nine points off CSKA Moskva in the third and final Champions League spot.

9) The Luzhniki will be sold out
This fixture is big news out east. Over 77,000 tickets have been sold so far. Spartak are one of Russia’s best supported teams, while Roman Abramovich’s Blues are followed closely in his homeland. It also means a huge security operation is the order of the day in the Russian capital, and almost 3,000 police officers will be present in case it all kicks off.

10) They think Carlo Ancelotti likes tea
The Russian media have been a rather hospitable lot to the big teams in recent years. Sovetsky Sport presented Jose Mourinho with a trench coat before Inter Milan’s visit last season (he didn’t wear it on the touchline mind, the ungrateful git).

NMTB can’t recall Carlo Ancelotti being a renowned tea drinker, but the newspaper gave the Italian a rather swanky samovar, which should cater to all his hot beverage-making needs. This blog reckons it will never be used in the Ancelotti household, and it’ll probably be hived off to a relative this Christmas.

Probable team (4-1-3-2): Dikan; Parshivlyuk, Suchy, Pareja, Makeev; Ibson; McGeady, Sheshukov, D. Kombarov; Ari, Welliton.

10 things Arsenal should know about Shakhtar

2010-10-19T10:32:00Z

You’d imagine someone has probably had a word with those toffee-nosed folk on the door at Harrods and informed them of Shakhtar Donetsk’s arrival at Luton Airport on Sunday evening.

But NMTB wagers Mircea Lucescu won’t be taking the Ukrainian champions souvenir hunting in Knightsbridge, not after his squad was unceremoniously turned away from the famous department store prior to last year’s Europa League tie against Fulham.

Apparently Harrods was too busy, and it definitely wasn’t because their snooty staff didn’t fancy a load of eastern European men in tracksuits wandering round and lowering the tone of the place. Definitely not.

1) Shakhtar arrive in Foggy Albion on a seven-game winning streak

The Hirnyky are quite good at this football business, and have been on more long winning runs than a Kenyan athlete of late, so they're not exactly unaccustomed to the odd victory, but they’ve beaten some half-decent sides recently.

In the Champions League Shakhtar overcame Partizan Belgrade, and what have surprisingly transpired to be Group H’s whipping boys, SC Braga, while domestically Ukraine’s second and third best sides, Dynamo Kyiv and Metalist Kharkiv, have been put to the sword.

Twenty goals have been scored in these seven games with just two conceded, leaving them positioned nicely at the Vyscha Liga’s summit, five points ahead of Dynamo.

2) They haven’t come to park the bus

Mister, as Mircea Lucescu is affectionately known, prefers a 4-2-3-1 formation, and Shakhtar’s intricate passing game isn't a million miles away from that of Arsene Wenger’s mob, except the Ukrainians aren’t adverse to the odd shot from distance now and again.

If the Romanian sticks to his principals, this could be a cracking game between two sides who play football the way it should be played.

(Expect NMTB to have jinxed things now, and Mister to go all Gurban Berdiýew on us and opt for a bus-parkingalicious 5-4-1 formation like Rubin Kazan did when Barcelona visited Tatarstan last month.)

Even if Lucescu doesn’t alter things, you’d imagine Răzvan Raţ and Darijo Srna will probably be a bit more reserved and not bomb forward from the full-back positions at every opportunity to support Douglas Costa and Willian out wide, both of whom enjoy drifting inside when they have the ball. Luiz Adriano will lead the line up top.

3) Mircea Lucescu likes a Brazilian (oo-er)

Lucescu clearly subscribes to the stereotype of the Brazilian footballer being one of dizzying skills and quite adept at finding the back of the net, while not being all that hot on the defensive side of things, as his collection of Samba superstars occupy the lion’s share of his team’s attacking positions. Things at the back are looked after by the eastern Europeans.

Brazilians, Lucescu once said, “play football for football.” Seven of them are currently in the Shakhtar squad; eight, if you're a pernickety sod and include Eduardo, and some of them are indeed rather good.

The likes of Douglas Costa and Fernandinho, whom his manager affirms is the best Brazilian defensive midfielder in Europe, would walk into any side in the Premier League. And Lucescu isn’t content with just seven, either.

Shakhtar’s scouts have been back to South America for another look at Santos’ teenage midfielder Alan Patrick, and during their recent training camp in Turkey they were joined by two 16-year-olds from Brazil.

For some reason, Shakhtar’s Brazilian collecting zillionaire owner Rinat Akhmetov was against a cap on foreigners in the Vyscha Liga when the idea was mooted. Can't imagine why…

4) They’ve had their injury problems

Olexiy Gai has performed admirably of late, but he’s no Fernandinho.

Obolon Kyiv were the last side to beat Shakhtar (on 10 September), after deciding that an effective way to stifle Ukraine’s number one team might be to kick them all over the pitch and stop them being able to play.It worked.

Obolon won 1-0 and Fernandinho had his leg broken by Vladyslav Lupashko after being booted six foot in the air. He’ll be a massive loss for Shakhtar.

So enraged were Shakhtar at the dirty challenges meted out to their players, they published a photographic essay on the club’s website of the match’s “deadliest moments”. All 84 of them.

Barcelona flop (not NMTB’s words, Google Instant’s when you begin typing “Dmytro Chygrynskiy”) started his first game since August on Friday after a hamstring injury, a match in which erstwhile one-time target Yaroslav Rakitskiy also returned.

Douglas Costa has been out for the last fortnight after suffering an injury against Dynamo Kyiv, but should play. If not, never mind, there’s another tricky young Brazilian in the form of Alex Teixeira waiting in the wings.

Any more injuries and Mircea will be on the phone to PFC Sevastopol asking for somersaulting ex-Wigan striker Julius Aghahowa back from his loan spell. Actually, things aren’t that desperate. They’ll never be that desperate…

5) Rinat Akhmetov doesn’t like being called an oligarch

Those guys and gals at the Kyiv Post have been playing with their abacuses (abaci?) and worked out that Shakhtar’s president has a cool $9.6 billion in the bank.

The 43-year-old, who is a pals with Ukraine’s president Viktor Yanukovych earned his money in the nineties from the Donbass region’s coal and steel.

Just don’t use the “o” word. Akhmetov took legal action against Le Figaro after they dubbed him "a scandalous Ukrainian oligarch”.

*Quickly checks old blogs*

6) Henrikh Mkhitaryan is quite good

You can tell this Armenian lad is quality because Mircea Lucescu splurged £5 million on an attacking player who isn't Brazilian. The 21-year-old is enjoying himself at the moment; scoring his first Shakhtar goal, making his Champions League debut and he was the architect of Armenia’s recent wins over Slovakia and Andorra.

Oh, and his surname is pronounced Ma-khi-tar-yan, before you ask.

7) Dudu will be on the bench

Unless Lucescu gets all sentimental, Eduardo won’t start tonight on his big return to the Emirates; this won’t stop the media talking about that tackle, mind.

Injury and the general brilliantness of Luiz Adriano on his own up front (seven goals in seven games, thank you very much) have meant Dudu has started life in eastern Ukraine on the bench.

Wigan loanee Marcelo Moreno isn't going to feature in the starting XI either.

8) Răzvan Raţ’s surname isn’t pronounced “Rat”

It’s just a pet peev of the blog’s, but during both games against Fulham, whoever the chap commentating for ITV was continually referred to the Romanian left-back as “Rat”, and then proceeded with some rodent-based puns.

This annoyed NMTB. Lots. It’s not Rat you ******* ****”. It’s ‘Rats’. There’s a ******* cedilla on the “t” you ******* ****. Do some ******* research. Ahem, yes. Next point.

9) The Premier Liga gave Shakhtar an extra day to prepare

The Donetsk derby with Metalurg was shifted to Friday; they could afford to a few players too, mainly because Shakhtar usually do quite well against their cross-city rivals, having won 24 of their 26 encounters and everything.

And despite never getting out of second gear, Shakhtar made it 25/27 with a comfortable 2-0 win.

10) The last time Shakhtar played Arsenal they won 3-0

Although that was back in the 2000/01 Champions League group stages and the only person from either side remaining is Arsene Wenger.

Shakhtar haven’t won on three visits to London, it is worth pointing out.

Probable team (4-2-3-1): Pyatov; Srna, Chygrynskiy, Rakitskiy, Raţ, Hübschman; Gai, Douglas Costa, Mkhitaryan, Willian; Luiz Adriano.

Touts stop Moldovans going Dutch

2010-10-08T14:59:00Z

Say what you want about Moldovan football, but one problem it definitely didn’t have was ticket touts.

(The official attendance for this Divizia Naţională match at the Stadionul Sătesc between Gagauziya and FC Tiraspol in Comrat last month was 200).

Even the country’s grudge match, Zimbru Chişinău versus Sheriff Tiraspol, failed to pique Moldovans’ interest and just 5,000 witnessed their 1-1 draw on Sunday. This was still enough for some fisticuffs between fans, mind.

But the national team is followed rather better, and tonight’s Euro 2012 qualifier against the Netherlands in Chişinău is arguably Moldova’s biggest match in years. It’s just a shame for many fans that they're going have to settle for watching it on the telly.

Bravo to the Federaţia Moldovenească de Fotbal for their decision not to limit the number of tickets a person could buy; since communism got the boot two years ago it seems some Moldovans have taken to this capitalism lark rather well, and an entrepreneurial few turned up at the Stadionul Zimbru last week to buy a significant number of tickets. Lots and lots. Several hundred at a time in some instances.

Big businesses were also allowed to reserve seats at the Stadionul Zimbru, and with a capacity of just 10,500, it’s not as if there were a load to go round in the first place.

It makes the stat that tickets sold out in five hours being trumpeted earlier this week seem slightly less impressive really, doesn’t it?

A statement has been issued asking people to arrive early, presumably because there’s going to be a mass scramble for tickets. Touts are going to have a real struggle shifting them in time for kickoff if everyone turns up just before the match is due to start.

Radu Rebeja, the vice-president of the FMF, has said they will alter how tickets are sold for future matches, but also raised the valid point that Moldova needs a national stadium.

Chişinău must be the only major former Soviet Union city without one of them massive Soviet-era bowl arenas, since the Stadionul Republican was demolished three years ago.

A little piece of history was lost with it. David Beckham made his England debut at the stadium in 1996.

A €35 million, 25,000-seater stadium was in the pipeline, but financial problems meant that was scrapped, and without state intervention it looks like it will never materialise.

And you thought Wembley had problems. This has all overshadowed what is going to be a great match for Moldova.

Under their new Romanian manager Gabi Pele Balint (yes, that is his actual name), the national team won its first game in a qualifying campaign for three years last month when they defeated Finland 2-0 in Chişinău, and interest among supporters is high.

The Dutch will win tonight, but for most Moldovans the game would have afforded them the rare opportunity to witness some world-class footballers they’ve only ever seen on television in the flesh.

It’s a pity so many will miss out.

Meet the Montenegrin Roy Hodgson

2010-10-04T15:06:00Z

This title race lark is effectively over in Russia, but now the teams at the bottom have decided it might be a good idea if they start winning matches too, we’ve got one humdinger of a relegation battle on our hands.

Any two of about seven could go down, which is quite impressive in a 16-club competition.

Saturday

Amkar Perm 0-1 Dinamo Moskva

If Dinamo gaffer Miodrag 'Count' Boûović isn’t careful, people are going to start calling him the 'Montenegrin Roy Hodgson'.

Count club-hopper has famously taken unfashionable sides like Amkar to fourth (2008) and last year finished sixth with FC Moskva, but his tenure at Dinamo since taking over in April hasn’t exactly been a roaring success, and there were rumours circulating last week that he could be out on his ear.

In spite of some expensive acquisitions, the Muscovites are ninth.

But Boûović got the rub of the green in Perm when two of the club’s big signings, Andrei Voronin and Kevin Kuranyi, combined to score a massively offside goal in the last minute of injury time to claim all three points.

Amkar are in trouble at the bottom and have lodged an official complaint about the German’s header.

Good luck with that...

Alania Vladikavkaz 2-3 Krylia Sovetov Samara

There’s always one team that embarks on an incredible run in any relegation battle to haul themselves out of trouble.

In Russia it’s Krylia Sovetov Samara (that’s a very Soviet-sounding 'Wings of the Soviets' to you), who were dead and buried a month ago, but have now won three of the last four games.

Power-behind-the-throne Vladimir Putin asked (read: ordered) regional officials to find companies to bankroll the financially stricken club who are the only non Moscow/St Petersburg side to be ever-present in the Premier League since the collapse of the USSR.

The transfer window was even extended on deadline day to aid their survival.

Krylia went three nil up in North Ossetia before Alania rallied to make things interesting with two goals in the last 16 minutes.

Oleg Samsonov and Ibrahim Tsallagov had put them 2-0 up at half-time, and substitute Pavel Yakovlev made it three with 16 minutes left. Alania pulled two goals back within four minutes through Aleksandr Marenich and Asen Hubulov, but Krylya held on for the win.

Despite their rejuvenation, Wings of the Soviets still occupy the last relegation spot with 22 points, one less than Alania.

Terek Grozny 1-0 Tom Tomsk

Terek have been doing OK this season.

The Chechens are seventh and in the hunt for a Europa League spot, but fear not, average clubs from the continent; should the unlikely happen, Terek will probably play in Moscow, not Grozny, even if the Russian Football Union believe it is safe enough to stage Premier League football there.

Shamil Asildarov’s penalty was the difference here after Brian May lookalike Hector Bracamonte took a tumble in the box.

Tom Tomsk are 10th, but only four points off the relegation zone.

Sunday

Sibir Novosibirsk 2-2 Rubin Kazan

Pep Guardiola should probably start getting chummy with Sibir boss Igor Kriushenko if he wants to get one over Rubin in Camp Nou this December.

Barcelona face Gurban Berdiyew’s team in the Champions League group stages, but haven’t beaten them in three attempts. They’ve also only scored twice against Rubin, something relegation-threatened Sibir managed in 90 minutes yesterday.

Sergey Ryzhikov has done a damn fine job in between the sticks for the visitors this season, but it was his late blooper that gifted Sibir a point.

The Siberians are six points off safety with seven games remaining.

CSKA Moskva 2-0 FC Rostov

Igor 'I’m really, really good and linked with every top club in every single transfer window' Akinfeev was out injured (bruised thigh, the wimp), so Sergei Chepchugov, voted best goalkeeper in the First Division with Sibir last season (they could’ve done with him this year) was given the chance to impress.

Vagner Love stole the show, though. Again.

He scored both in the first half, including another monster effort from miles out, which makes it seven goals in 10 games for the Brazilian since returning from loan spells in South America.

CSKA are third, two points behind Rubin who've played two games more; Rostov are sixth.

Anzhi Makhachkala 0-1 Spartak Moskva

Oh dear, Anzhi.

Form guide for the last four games: lost, lost, lost, lost. And zilch in the 'goals for' column as well.

Anzhi were probably delighted Welliton was out injured, given his current scoring record of 16 in 17 matches, but that didn’t stop them clocking up another defeat in Dagestan.

Aleksandr Sheshukov scored the only goal of the game, which seemed to have more 'excitement' off the pitch than on it.

Some of the visiting fans were pelted with stones, fighting kicked off between rival supporters and there was one of those controversial banners on display (this one translates as 'death to Hitler, and to his grandchildren too').

Anzhi are in that clutch of sides at the bottom, Spartak remain fourth.

Spartak Nalchik 2-3 Zenit St Petersburg

Good ol’ game, this.

Zenit are unbeaten domestically this season and this fixture was a potential banana skin for Luciano Spalletti’s side, who are steamrollering their way to the title.

They established a Russian record of 21 games unbeaten on Sunday, which means Zenit are now six points clear of Rubin, who they’ve played two games less than.

The visitors went 2-0 up thanks to a double from the in-form Alexander Kerzhakov after 22 minutes but Spartak pulled one back just before the break through Jovan Golic.
Roman Shirokov restored Zenit's two-goal cushion after the break, before Spartak’s Viktor Vasin reduced the arrears in the last minute
The home side remain in the hunt for a (deserved) Europa League spot.

Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast 0-1 Lokomotiv Moskva

Ukrainian footballers haven’t fared all that well in England in recent years, but someone really should take a punt on Oleksandr Aliyev.

This guy is brilliant.

Aliyev has scored 13 times from midfield this season and was missing through suspension yesterday, but Loko still managed the win thanks to 36-year-old Dmirty Loskov, who was released by Saturn last season.

The Extra Terrestrials have picked up a worrying habit of losing games of late – five of the last seven, to be precise – and are now only two points above the relegation zone.

Rebel armies and provocative banners

2010-10-01T14:29:00Z

Sure, it may be Chelsea-Arsenal on Sunday, but there are a couple of derbies on the other side of the Iron Curtain which might also pique your interest…

Zimbru Chişinău v Sheriff Tiraspol (Divizia Naţională, 1pm BST)

WAIT! Don’t stop reading just because it’s Moldovan football!

Yeah, it’s rubbish most of the time, but this weekend it’s the capital cities derby; it’s what the Divizia Naţională is all about.

This is one of them *ahem* politically charged affairs: most successful club from the capital of Moldova versus most successful club from the capital of Moldova’s breakaway republic of Transdniestr.

Chişinău and Tiraspol are separated by about 40 miles of undulating Moldovan countryside… and a smattering of Russian troops, tanks, military checkpoints and a blumin’ massive rebel army.

The ethnically Russian Transdniestrians fought for their independence from Romanian-leaning Moldova in 1992, and while not achieving it, an uneasy peace exists in the region that doesn’t really suit anyone, not least the government in Chişinău, who have no jurisdiction over the region.

It all sounds very exciting, an actual rogue Soviet state, but not so for Moldovans, who must suffer the ignominy of completing immigration forms and presenting their passports at the border should they wish to visit Transdniestr. Which they very often don’t.

Sheriff were only formed in 1997, and are arguably something of a promo tool for Transdniestr, who were given the brief rubric of usurping Zimbru as the country’s most successful club.

This has largely been achieved due to considerable financial backing from their eponymous and enigmatic owners.

Sheriff have won the last ten Divizia Naţionalăs, and knocked Zimbru – historically Moldova’s most famous side – into a very distant second.

They don’t like this, especially the ultras, the Zimbru Boys, who display provocative banners in the stands and chant some rather nasty things to their foes from the other side of the repugnant Dneistr River (video below).

Bragging rights are everything as far as this fixture is concerned, and Sheriff’s habitual slow start to the league while they concentrate on European affairs means Zimbru are one place above them in fifth in the Divizia Naţională.

Regular European football affords Transdniestr some fantastic publicity and Moldovans aren’t exactly enthralled at Sheriff representing the country on the continental stage.

It’s probably the only time Sheriff ever call themselves “Moldovan”.

Expect this one to get lively, both on the pitch and in the stands.

NMTB prediction: Sheriff win.

Shakhtar Donetsk v Dynamo Kyiv (Premier-Liga, 5pm BST)

It’s also El Big One in Ukraine, where the main talking point will be this afternoon’s resignation of Dynamo’s boss Valery Gazzaev following their 2-0 defeat to Sheriff (yes, them again) in the Europa League last night.

Rudderless Dynamo visit Fortress Donbass on Sunday, where Shakhtar have yet to taste defeat since moving in last year.

In fact, they generally win there. The Hirnyky recorded victories in every single home game bar one in the 2009/10 season and no, it wasn’t Dynamo they dropped points to (it was a 0-0 with Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk).

To much delight, the title was effectively won in Donetsk after Shakhtar beat their rivals 1-0 in the penultimate round of matches.

Maximum points have also been achieved on each occasion at the Donbass Arena this season too, and unsurprisingly they lead Dynamo Kyiv in the table after 11 games.

The two heavyweights of Ukrainian football first clashed in 1938, but it wasn’t until Rinat Akhmetov started ploughing his zillions into Shakhtar that the fixture carried the significance it does today.

Things between Kiev and Shakhtar could get a bit firey...

Arguably Dynamo’s star has waned since Valeriy Lobanovskyi’s golden generation of the nineties reached the semi-finals of the Champions League, while Shakhtar have been in the ascendency.

The country’s new football order was more or less confirmed in the last UEFA Cup, when Shakhtar defeated their rivals on their way to becoming the first post-independent Ukrainian club to win a major European trophy, but Dynamo aren’t finished yet, and how they’d love to inflict a first defeat on their rivals at their own turf.

It will be a tall order though. The last time the Kyivites won in Donetsk, Sergei Rebrov scored.

NMTB prediction: Shakhtar win.

Lucky suits and bellygoals

2010-09-28T12:50:00Z

Our expert on all things Eastern European, Mark Gilbey, gives us the low-down on the weekend's goings-on in Russia...

Friday

Spartak Moskva 2-2 Amkar Perm

God, Valery Karpin, you're so self-centred. And you’ve got a girl’s name.

It’s four games unbeaten for Spartak, which Valery has attributed to his “lucky” suit and tie. Doesn’t he realise they're the first four games Aiden McGeady has started?

Joking aside, September’s been a super month for Spartak, with their three straight wins before Friday’s match, one of which came in the Champions League away to Marseille.

NMTB doesn’t know whether Karpin’s suit really does have mystical powers like Jackie Chan’s tuxedo in the rubbish film of the same name, but were it not for McGeady’s belly, Spartak would’ve lost this game against Amkar.

The home side fell behind to Mitar Novaković’s ruddy marvellous strike against the run of play in the first half, yet almost inevitably Welliton scored (his 16th in 17 matches) to bring Spartak level, only for Ivan Cherenchiko to restore Amkar’s lead.

But with 12 minutes remaining Dmitri Kombarov whipped in a ball to the far post for an unmarked McGeady to belly into the back of the net. And he meant it.

A lucky suit and Aiden McGeady? MŠK Žilina don’t stand a chance in the Champions League tonight.

Saturday

Zenit St Petersburg 6-1 Saturn Moskovskaya Oblast

Two-thirds of the way through the season and it already looks like we know who’ll win the league. Yawn.

Baldie genius Luciano Spalletti has spent big this summer and it seems to have paid off; Zenit are four points clear of Rubin with two games in hand, and thanks to this result, now have a far superior goal difference.

It will take a huge collapse for them not to win the title.

Aleksander Kerzhakov is keeping Alexander Bukharov out of the team at the moment, and his hat-trick against Saturn means all the talk is about him earning a starting place in Dick Advocaat’s Russia side next month.

Hooray! A weekend where the discussion isn’t about Welliton obtaining Russian citizenship.

Zenit had only conceded seven goals in 19 games going into this, so dunce of the weekend was Tomas Hubochan, whose wayward backpass let in Dmitry Kirichenko before halftime for 3-1 to make things interesting. Briefly.

Rubin Kazan 1-0 Alania Vladikavkaz

Wheeler-dealer Gurban Berdiýew was Europe’s fifth highest spender in the last transfer window, but all that means nowt at the moment. Rubin lost their opening game in the Champions League to F.C. København and are second in Russia.

Their Turkmen gaffer realised his players are going need all their energy chasing Barcelona around the Tsentralnyi Stadion pitch on Wednesday, so rested six first teamers for the game against Alania, which meant a disjointed performance in a match of little quality and few chances at either end.

It wasn’t a game for the neutral.

One of their expensive purchases who did play, Salvatore Bocchetti, fired in from the edge of the box to keep them on the coattails of Zenit. For now.

For Rubin, it’s a case of being defensively strong, but needing to discover the right combination in attack with their new signings. Obafemi Martins is not a lone striker.

They're unlikely to repeat their four-point haul against Barcelona, even if Leo Messi is on the bench tomorrow.

Berdiýew is going to need a hell of a lot of good fortune from his own lucky charms, them famous prayer beads, to get anything out of tomorrow night’s game.

Sunday

Tom Tomsk 0-3 CSKA Moskva

CSKA were another side with one eye on Europe, and made three changes for their trip to Tomsk.

Vágner Love used to be good, then he got rubbish, but now he looks good again after his loan spells in Brazil, and scored his 100th goal for CSKA inside the first minute on Sunday.

The Brazilian picked the ball up 30 yards from goal and spanked a left-footed shot into the top corner to set CSKA on their way to a straightforward three points.

Just before halftime he turned provider for his partner Seydou Doumbia. Love latched onto Igor Akinfeev’s kick up field and crossed for the Ivorian to double CSKA’s lead in the 40th minute.

Tomáš Necid completed the scoring.

CSKA are third, four points behind Rubin, but with two games in hand.

Dinamo Moskva 0-3 Spartak Nalchik

Miodrag Božović began his Dinamo reign against Spartak Nalchik but, despite the rumours, won’t end it against them.

It’s been an unsatisfactory season for the Muscovites (again), who signed some half-decent players like Alexander Epureanu and Kevin Kuranyi, but languish in mid-table with eight games remaining.

Exciting talent Vladimir Dyadyun scored a poacher’s hat-trick of goals from inside the six yard box for the Premier League’s surprise package who, in fourth spot, have a good chance of European football next year.

They're one to look out for.

Rostov 0-1 Sibir Novosibirsk

Russia’s other overachievers rather underachieved at home to basement boys Sibir on Sunday. Rostov are fifth, but lost ground on Spartak Nalchik one place above them with this disappointing defeat.

But the great escape is probably not on for the Siberians, who beat 1-0 PSV Eindhoven earlier this year. The Russian Cup runners-up claimed three points in Rostov to put a dent in their opponent’s hopes of finishing above Spartak Nalchik, but stay bottom and are seven points adrift in the relegation zone.

Bartlomiej Grzelak scored the winner after 37 minutes.

Lokomotiv Moskva 2-1 Terek Grozny

Seventh placed Lokomotiv beat a plucky Terek 2-1 in Moscow, but the talking point of the match was Maurico’s equaliser for the Chechens, with the Brazilian midfielder appearing to knock the ball out of compatriot and Lokomotiv keeper Guilherme’s hands.

All three goals came inside the opening half an hour. Oleksandr Aliev scored from the spot after three minutes, and despite Mauricio’s controversial finish in the 20th minute, Maicon's goal eight minutes later proved decisive.

Lokomotiv are three points outside the European places.

Monday

Krylia Sovetov Samara 3-0 Anzhi Makhachkala

A much-needed win for relegation-threatened Krylia Sovetov Samara, who are now just three points from safety.

Krylia scored after two minutes with a monster Oleg Samsonov strike, and a miserable start was completed for the visitors when Rasim Tagirbekov saw red for a head-butt on Oleg Ivanov after 13 minutes.

While the incident looks fairly innocuous, it is worth remembering that Tagirbekov’s nose is massive – so big he could smoke in the shower – and it probably really hurt Ivanov.

But he managed to recover sufficiently from that beak attack to get on the scoresheet in the first half, as did Yevgeny Savin.

Krylia remain in the relegation zone, three points behind Amkar.

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Russia's revolution: winter football!

2010-09-21T14:28:00Z

Huzzah! Another victory for football’s moneymen. Up yours, loyal supporter!

There’s a very good reason why hitherto, professional football in Russia has been played over the summer months. Mainly because it gets cold in winter; really, really, cold, and there's loads of that snow stuff about, meaning it’s not exactly feasible to be outside on the lawn kicking a ball around, even if it is an orange one.

Still, they’ll have to find some way of doing it, because last week the Russian Football Union announced that from 2012 the country’s top three divisions will no longer play to a traditional March-November calendar, and instead they're going to be brought in line with the major European leagues. Gah!

This means a season beginning in August and finishing in May, and playing football in some of Russia’s most adverse weather conditions, regardless of the RFU plonking a three-month break in between December and February.

This is massive. It’s like when those monsters at the BBC unceremoniously shunted Neighbours around year after year to accommodate Wimbledon. Worse, if anything.

Next season is going to be a whopping 44-game transitional one for the Premier League where, upon completion of the usual 30 matches, the 16 clubs will split into two groups to contest title/relegation issues. Russia’s second tier will also be trimmed from 20 to 18.

OK, a summer league was a bit inconvenient when an international tournament came around, but generally it works.

You haven’t experienced a proper winter on this miserable planet of ours until you’ve been to Russia. It helped see off Napoleon and Hitler, and pretty much the only thing that doesn’t freeze around this time of year is the vodka.

But for the Russian clubs who have their own plans for European domination – y’know, the big ones with all the cash and political sway – winter is also a massive impediment to them, as when the Champions League begins to get interesting in the new year they're still ring-rusty. Mostly this is because they have been pissing around on a golf course somewhere in Turkey; Belek, usually.

This is a huge fillip for them. No wonder they're all for it. Terek Grozny vice-president Haidar Alkhanov more or less admitted last week’s vote was a fait accompli, and that they were "powerless" to do anything about it.

This shift will also make the Premier League far more lucrative when attracting sponsors, and should add a few more roubles to the pile when the competition is flogged to foreign television companies. Cor, it’s great, capitalism!

It'll have to be. Even under its current schedule, during the opening Premier League rounds Russia is covered in a blanket of snow, and matches are played on some terrible pitches that haven’t had a chance to thaw out. To counter this, it’s going to take money. Lots of it.

For most, this will necessitate the introduction of Astroturf pitches, undersoil heating, stadium roofs, heated terraces, things like that. This constitutes a major problem, unless your owner is one of them oligarch chaps who poops roubles.

Alexander Shprygin, the head of the official Russian football fans’ organisation, the VOB, said he was aware of a lack of enthusiasm among supporters for the move.

Zenit's stadium. And St Petersburg isn't particularly cold

However, the perennial European qualifiers probably won’t be overly perturbed when attendances begin to drop faster than the temperature. As in the West, top-end football is becoming less reliant on gate receipts and more about television revenue, and clubs are increasingly becoming the playthings of the rich.

Say hello to a backlog of fixtures, especially the further east you travel from Moscow and the lower you go down the football pyramid. The Russian Football League, the body responsible for the country’s second and third tiers, are opposed to the move and affirm many of their teams simply aren’t capable of staging matches in such conditions, especially in Siberia and the Far East, where it gets more than a bit parky.

Nor is it universally popular with players. The footballers’ trade union said they are "seriously concerned by the haste of the RFU decision to change the championship's format. It's a very alarming symptom that the RFU decided to withdraw from public and professional discussion over these extremely important changes."

Their poll conducted among players from nine of the Premier League’s 16 teams revealed 73 were against the move, as opposed to just 23 in favour.

But the big teams want this, and so it will happen. Politics and football are inextricably linked in Russia, considering who owns many of these sides; this new calendar is deemed beneficial for the country’s 2018/22 World Cup bids, and woe betide anyone who gets in the way of that juggernaut.

Better get used to it, then.

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Meet the FSU's European hopefuls

2010-09-14T12:51:00Z

Our man peeking out from behind the iron curtain, Mark Gilbey gives us the low-down on the former Soviet Union’s Champions League contenders: Rubin Kazan, Spartak Moskva and Shakhtar Donetsk

“Everyone wants to play in the Champions League,” affirmed fleet-footed Spurs hotshot Jermain Defoe last month. “On Tuesday nights you don’t want to be at home watching Eastenders – you want to be at White Hart Lane playing fantastic teams.”

It’s going to be grand for the little man, testing himself against Inter Milan, Werder Bre… Oh, right.

Never mind, lad. Those three months on the sidelines will soon fly by, and NMTB hears the Queen Vic’s going to look resplendent after its HD revamp.

In this season’s group stages there are three sides from the former Soviet republics, and it would’ve been double that, had Dynamo Kyiv, Zenit St Petersburg and Sheriff Tiraspol not gone and blumin’ well lost in the playoffs. The idiots.

Here’s who has qualified…

Rubin Kazan (Russia)
Group D: Barcelona, Panathinaikos, F.C. København

Manager: Gurban Berdiýew
Founded: 1958
Nickname: Tartarstanti
Current domestic league position: Second
Key player: Christian Noboa

It’s déjà vu for successive Premier-Liga winners Rubin and Cesc Fàbregas’ future employers, who meet for the second year running in the group stages.

Pass-pass-pass, pass-pass-pass-Messi might look all slick and polished on the telly and have commentators swooning and everything, but tika-taka wasn’t all that successful in breaking down the Tartarstanti’s resolute defence during their last two meetings, was it?

Gurban Berdiýew’s team took four points off Barcelona in 2009, three of which came following a smash-and-grab, 2-1 victory in Camp Nou that really made people sit up and take notice of Russian football. For a bit.

Said Touré the younger: ”We dominated the match, but dominating is not winning.”

Maybe there is something to this “parking the bus” lark after all.

Since then, prayer bead-clutching, Turkmen Tony Pulis look-alike Gurban Berdiýew has lost the services of influential players such as Alejandro Domínguez, Aleksandr Bukharov and Sergei Semak, yet the Russians have spent big this summer.

The roubles have always been there, but until now it’s been attracting players to Tartarstan that has been Rubin’s Achilles’, unlike their Moscow and St Petersburg-based rivals.

Them damn WAGS, eh?

As lovely a city as it is, Kazan is a looooong way from the Russian capital – 450 miles to be precise. It could quite conceivably be 10 times that with its Central Asian vibe, however.

Still, if you’ve got one eye on your kid’s future, the university’s not a bad institution to enrol them in; among its alumni are Leo Tolstoy and Lenin (kicked out for being too bolshie, natch).

This season some half-decent players have arrived in Kazan. And Obafemi Martins.

Carlos Eduardo (Hoffenheim, £17 million) and Salvatore Bocchetti (Genoa, £12 million) are the most notable recruits, in addition to the loan signing of a striker West Ham previously courted.

The Hammers took a Barry Fry, quantity-over-quality approach to buying forwards last season, and should’ve instead opted for Sergei Kornilenko, who’s been in fine form for Tom Tomsk this year, a side who’ve sadly yet to explore sponsorship opportunities with a certain sat nav company.

The on-loan Zenit player scored 11 goals in 15 games for Tomsk before being re-farmed out to Rubin.

Berdiýew’s team drew all three Champions League games last season at a sub-zero Centralniy Stadion, and no one will fancy the onerous midweek journey to Kazan.

Best pack your long johns, Pep.

Spartak Moskva (Russia)
Group F: Chelsea, Marseille, MSK Žilina

Manager: Valery Karpin
Formed: 1922
Nickname: The People's Club
Current domestic league position: Sixth
Key player: Welliton (above)

Spartak Moskva really, really wanted Aiden McGeady.

People often aver Russia is a unique, complex country, difficult for foreigners to understand, which is why the club have bent over backwards for the Celtic winger and have given him (in addition to £40,000 per week) a car/driver, translator, swanky pad and a bodyguard.

Yeah, ‘cos it should be hard for him, leaving Scotland and relocating to a nation of cheap booze, sporadic scrapping and inclement weather…

And at his beck and call are two chefs, should he not fancy some hearty Russian fare (bread with everything), or dining at one of those absurd sushi-pizza restaurants.

Russian dressing instead of tomato sauce on a pizza indeed! That’s “out there” even for Heston wotisface.

Dunno why he wants a translator though. McGeady need only be familiar with two words: “problem” and “administrator”; mercifully, these are exactly the same as their English equivalents.

The Brazilian playmaker Alex is the chap pulling the strings in midfield and is one to watch, as is his fellow countryman Welliton, who’s been filling his boots in Russia this season (sorry, them “Wellington boot” headlines are going to be flying about if he replicates his domestic form in the Champions League. Think how hackneyed the Vágner Love/From Russia with Love ones have become). It’s 15 goals in 16 games for the 23-year-old so far.

On the opposite wing to McGeady, the young’un Zhano Ananidze isn’t a regular yet, but is coveted by some of Europe’s biggest clubs. The 17-year-old Georgian is predictably drawing comparisons with Georgi Kinkladze, mainly because they are both a) wingers and b) Georgian.

Shakhtar Donetsk (Ukraine)
Group H: Arsenal, SC Braga, FK Partisan

Manager: Mircea Lucescu (above, right)
Formed: 1936
Nickname: Hirnyky
Current domestic league position: First
Key player: Douglas Costa

It’s a swift return to Foggy Albion for Eduardo (pictured above, left), who faces former club Arsenal in Group H.

As per that unwritten law of football, Dudu will at some point score against the Gunners – probably a 30-yard, last-minute winner at the Emirates. But won’t celebrate.

Last season’s Ukrainian champions are top of the table again and have re-signed sagacious, girly haired centre-back Dmytro Chygrynskiy (he’s got a Master’s y’know) for £8 million less than Barcelona paid them a year ago; a fair of old whack of which has been spent prising promising midfielder Henrikh Mkhitaryan away from their city rivals Metalurg.

He’s “one for the future”, like several Shakhtar’s summer signings, but the 21-year-old Armenian is likely to see more game time than he imagined after Fernandinho broke his leg last Friday during Shakhtar’s first defeat of the season at the hands of Obolon Kyiv.

Mircea Lucescu claims he’s the best Brazilian defensive midfielder in Europe. While that’s up for debate, he’s the heartbeat of the Shakhtar team and his loss is a massive blow to the Ukrainian’s aspirations of reaching the next round.

Step up Championship Manager starlet Douglas Costa, who is now demonstrating the kind of form that had gamers across the land splurging on the Brazilian a while back. Box of tricks, that lad is.

Fans of Wigan flops are in for a disappointment though. Flop #1, goal-shy somersaulting Nigerian striker Julius Aghahowa, has been loaned out to newly-promoted PFC Sevastopol, while Flop #2 goal-shy not-somersaulting Bolivian Marcelo Moreno will most likely find himself on the bench.

Arsenal fans might want to a book a Wizzair flight to Kyiv and take the overnight train to Donetsk for their fixture at Fortress Donbass if they’ve got more time than money. Tickets from the UK to eastern Ukraine ain’t cheap…

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Match-fixing casts shadow over Euro 2012

2010-09-07T12:14:00Z

The Ukrainian Premier-Liha isn’t just about the Dynamo Kyiv/Shakhtar Donetsk cartel, even if it has been absolutely aaaaages since anyone has broken their duopoly on the top two spots (Chornomorets Odessa were runners-up in the 1995/96 season, to save you a trip to Wikipedialand).

Although if you listen to some people, there are forces at work ensuring that’s exactly what the Premier-Liha is about, and that’s just they way they’d like to keep it, thank you very much (well for one of the pair, anyway).

That isn’t good news; especially if you happen to be one of the 14 clubs whose name isn’t Shakhtar Donetsk or *ahem* Dynamo Kyiv.

Like Metalist Kharkiv.

Myron Markevich’s side have been bronze medallists for the past four seasons and they're well on their way to establishing themselves as a credible third-force; certainly sufficient progress has been made to warrant a few nervous glances over their shoulders from the big boys in the direction of Ukraine’s second-largest city, at least.

And according to the not-so-thinly veiled outburst by the club’s president Oleksandr Yaroslavsky recently, Metalist’s threat to disrupting the status quo and nabbing one of those coveted Champions League spots is the motivation behind the Football Federation of Ukraine’s decision – whose chief just so happens to be Hryhory Surkis, co-owner of the Kyivites with his younger brother/club president Ihor – to throw a match-fixing charge-shaped spanner into the works of Metalist’s plans for the new season.

It relates to their 4-0 win over Karpaty Lviv in Kharkiv two years ago.

Not one to mince his words, Yaroslavsky issued an anti-FFU polemic on the club’s website, stating that “a very dirty method was used against us – they have tried to tarnish our reputation, to deprive us the opportunity to climb the podium and to keep us separated from the European Cup.”

He continued: "I believe that we will manage to restore justice and cancel this openly repressive decision of the FFU's Control and Disciplinary Committee. If not, we can simply forget about fair play in Ukrainian football. The championship, where undesirable rivals are turned into outsiders by an administrative decision cannot be fair. This is not football any more.”

So there.

It’s probably not what Michel Platini wanted to hear. Ukraine’s president Viktor Yanukovych had only sent the Frenchman a missive earlier this month affirming everything was fine and dandy, and that his country was back on track with its preparations for Euro 2012, save for a bit of a delay on the runway at Kharkiv’s airport.

Maybe he’ll be pleased the FFU are taking a zero-tolerance approach to what they say is match-fixing, as they’ve hit Metalist (and Karpaty) with a hefty nine-point deduction.

Ukrainian football aficionados won’t need reminding the game in April 2008 featured a dreadful second-half performance from Karpaty defender Sergei Lashchenkov that hasn’t exactly added credence to the whole conspiracy theory thing (that isn’t such a cockamamie idea); the Moldovan not only scored an own goal, but also managed to get himself sent off for a wild trip on Jajá when the Brazilian striker was through on goal, the klutz.

The FFU have named Lashchenkov, who has since moved to Olimpik Bakı in Azerbaijan, as an intermediary in a deal which they say involved Metalist’s general manager Yevgeny Krasnikov chucking $110,000 in the direction of the Karpaty players.

The pair have subsequently been banned from all Ukrainian football activities for life.

Supporting the FFU’s claims is a video purportedly showing the Moldovan admitting said offence, which Lashchenkov denies. He says the tape has been doctored.

Oh, and to add a further twist, the Kharkiv public prosecutor’s office halted an investigation into the whole affair, citing a lack of creditable evidence.

Both clubs – who’ll represent Ukraine in the group stages of the Europa League this season – have also been fined $25,000 and sundry bans dolled out to those behind the scenes, while the Karpaty players were issued punishments of $10,000 each; $5,000 for substitutes.

Yaroslavsky claims this is just the latest obstacle his team have overcome since their promotion five years ago, that he says have included, among other things, “prejudice refereeing decisions… to put us on an unequal footing with other participants in the competition.”

You have to feel sorry for Myron Markevich in this maelstrom. He combined his role as manager of Metalist with that of the Ukrainian national team. Markevich hasn’t been implicated in the trial, but his position with the latter was arguably made untenable, and it’s hardly a surprise he tendered his resignation.

And he didn’t hold exactly back in his criticism either, staunchly stating: "The FFU chiefs have completely discredited themselves with their recent decision to penalise Metalist. I have no moral right to continue working in an organisation which purposely destroys Kharkiv football."

The 59-year-old added: "I was and still remain the head coach of Metalist. I cannot betray my native club."

Initially the FFU rejected his resignation (like there’s any way it was feasible for him to continue), but for the next two friendlies against Poland and Chile his deputy Yuriy Kalytvyntsev will take charge (the chap who won the European Under-19 Championships with Ukraine last year).

Spurs/West Ham flop Sergei Rebrov and Gennady Litovchenko, who are both coaches at Dynamo Kyiv, look like they’ll be involved in some capacity too.

It’s a shame for Markevich. Leading out the national team at the European Championships on home soil would’ve been the pinnacle of his managerial career, and now it’s probably going to be someone like Sven-Göran Eriksson assuming the reins.

Apparently the Swede has already offered his services. Unfortunately.

There are reports that three Metalist players, Denys Oliynyk, Marko Devich, Serhiy Valyayev, have said they no longer wish to represent Ukraine anymore as well.

This isn’t the end of the issue by any means though, as both clubs have launched an appeal and the punishments are on ice, pending a verdict from UEFA/the Court of Arbitration for Sport.

This one’s likely to run, whatever the outcome…

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Who are Arsenal legend Tony Adams' new club FK Qäbälä?

2010-05-12T15:15:00Z

Yep, FK Qäbälä really is the next stage in former Arsenal and England defender Tony Adams’ managerial career.Tony has been charged with leading Azeri football into a new era.

Quite where he’s going to be leading the latest “super club” from the FSU is another matter, mind.

It’s an interesting story, and one that warrants an extra dosage of Never Mind the Bolsheviks this week.

Owned by a wealthy oligarch, located in a footballing backwater, a new stadium in the offing and financed by revenue from the country’s natural resources; the similarities with Luiz Felipe Scolari’s Bunyodkor in Uzbekistan are unavoidable.

Sadly for the Gunners great, that’s where the comparisons end, and his purported £1m wage package doesn’t quite match up with Phil’s, which is rumoured to be anything up to £12m, depending on your choice of literature.

Although when your managerial track record reads 12 wins in 53 games and relegation to League Two with Wycombe Wanderers, coupled with some youth work in Holland and a brief tenure at Portsmouth, you can't quite command the same fee as a World Cup winner just yet.

Right, so who are Qäbälä (or Gabala, as you may see written)?

Well, like Bunyodkor, they're a relatively new outfit, having originally been founded in they western city of Goygol in 1995, before finding their reincarnation in Qäbälä (a town in the north with a population of about 100,000) five years ago.

The club finished fifth in the 12-team Premyer Liqası this season before its split into its championship and relegation pools. Since then Qäbälä have slipped to sixth - seven points adrift of Khazar Lankaran in first place heading into the final round of matches - meaning European football remains a pipedream for now.

Oil money also lured Berti Vogts to Azerbaijan as the manager of the national team, although after the hash he made of the Scotland and Nigeria jobs, the offers probably weren’t pouring in for the German.

Spain were also brought in for a glamour friendly last year, where Vogts demonstrated to the Tartan Army exactly what they were missing by limiting the visitors to scoring just six times in Baku.

NEWS: Adams off to Azerbaijan

Getting a ticket hasn’t been too much of a problem for Qäbälä’s fans this season at their 2000-capacity home, but work is underway on a 15,000 all-seater stadium, due for completion next year when presumably the gloryhunters will arrive in their droves.

It’s rumoured to be costing around £50m, which will also include a revamped training ground.

The ball for the ambitious project got rolling last year, when another Englishman, Alastair Saverimutto, was appointed as Qäbälä’s chief operations officer.

His arrival will doubtless bring experience behind the scenes (he’s held similar positions at Everton and Bournemouth), and Saverimutto will also assuage the expectations of the club’s owner Tale Heydarov. There's a propensity in the FSU when money is poured into a project that success should be instantaneous.

Arno Pijpers, the former boss of Kazakhstan got the boot because he informed his chimerical superiors that World Cup qualification from a group containing England, Ukraine, Croatia, and Belarus (and Andorra) was unfeasible.

Qäbälä have demonstrated the project is looking towards the long term (if such a thing exists in football anymore), and prior to Mr Arsenal joining them the club brought in Yavasha Ali, the head youth coach of Galatasaray and his team, who will oversee the development of the next generation of Azeri footballers.

In the now, the phrase “unlimited funds” uttered by Saverimutto probably doesn’t mean a squad of Galacticos will be assembled, and what Tony’s actual budget will be we simply don’t know as it’s all very hush-hush at the moment.

He’s been running the rule over the multinational crop of players currently at Qäbälä, but already the Azeri media is reporting that two players – one each from England and Scotland – will be joining Tony’s revolution. No names yet, mind.

You do wonder about his appointment though (record aside).

NMTB has never met Tony (nor his assistant Gary Stevens), but assumes he can't speak Azeri, so a close relationship with an interpreter will need to be forged.

And by his own admission, Tony is not a “people’s person”.

“I don’t actually like people. I’m a loner and if I had my way I’d just walk my dogs every day, never talk to anyone and then die,” he said following his dismissal at Portsmouth.

Tony is going to need time to get to grips with Azeri football. At least coming in now he’s got time to assess the squad and get accustomed to what the hell he has left himself in for before the new season starts, but you can't help but feel he’s a risky choice.

A safer bet would’ve been Qarabağ Agdam’s manager Gurban Gurbanov, Azerbaijan’s most venerated footballer, who knows his way around the Eastern European game.

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The Roy Hodgson effect reaches Ukraine as Shakhtar seal title

2010-05-11T15:45:00Z

Mircea Lucescu is a lucky chap. The Romanian not only guided Shakhtar Donetsk to their fifth Premier-Liga title in Ukraine last week with a 1-0 win over Dynamo Kyiv at the Donbass Arena, but he’s also pen pals with current darling of the British media and LMA Manager of the Year, Roy Hodgson.

And you know with Roy that he wouldn’t just bash out an email to his pal in eastern Ukraine – they'd be too impersonal for an affable chap like him – the correspondence from west London would be a lovely handwritten piece, sent in an envelope with a wax seal.

Roy’s stock in Eastern Europe skyrocketed after Fulham dumped Shakhtar out of the Europa League this season, and his name was even mentioned in one Russian newspaper editorial as a worthy candidate to replace the outgoing Guus Hiddink as national team boss.

Going into last Wednesday’s game against archrivals Dynamo knowing a win would see them take an unassailable six-point lead into the weekend’s final round of matches, what better fillip for the Pitmen than to receive a letter from Roy, courteously replying to Lucescu’s good luck missive sent ahead of the Europa League final?

He spoke deferentially of his pal, and proclaimed that Shakhtar were ìby far the best we have come across in the Europa League and you outplayed us in both gamesî, before signing off with a similar good luck message for their Dynamo fixture.

NMTB hopes the relationship flourishes. They are already on first name terms and the blog is looking forward to seeing birthday cards exchanged; maybe a quick text of ìo zi bunaî before Roy sets off for a Sunday drive in the country; a postcard to the Lucescus from Hodgson’s caravan holiday in Cromer, or wherever he’s going on his well deserved summer holiday this year, perhaps.

Back to Ukraine, and yes, you’d perhaps have guessed it would be Shakhtar or Dynamo at the summit of the Premier-Liga table come the end of the season. (And also that there would be a good chance Metalist Kharkiv would be third.)

Predictable it may be, but boring the year was not and we were treated to a humdinger of a title race. After Dynamo blazed an early lead (seven points at one stage) and inflicted a 3-0 defeat on Shakhtar in Kyiv on match day 14, you’d have thought it was game over.

But no. Shakhtar went on one of those incredible runs which makes people scoff when you tell them that there's more to Ukrainian football than the ìbig twoî by winning 13 and drawing one of the 14 league games that followed that 3-0 reverse.

Saying that, the championship did effectively boil down to Wednesday’s Shakhtar-Dynamo game.

52,518 – a record crowd at Fortress Donbass - gathered to witness a match officiated by an Italian hairdresser, who also happened to be a qualified referee.

Shakhtar’s owner Rinat Akhmetov said it would be ìhardî for a Ukrainian to take charge of a game of such magnitude, so the appearance of foreign officials could become a regular occurrence in the Premier-Liga if he gets his way.

They're welcome to Howard Webb.

Lucescu has assembled a good, solid side at Shakhtar; it works in Ukraine.

Probably going on the belief that Brazilians aren’t as adept at defending as they are attacking, a hardworking, determined base of Eastern European players comprises the back five, while the samba stars in front of them are allowed to do their thing.

There were five Brazilians in the starting line up against Dynamo, while Douglas Costa was on the bench (there's not room for all of them) and Alex Teixeira is ìone for the futureî the club are slowly introducing into first team affairs since his arrival in January.

Conveniently for Shakhtar, unearthing the next Kak· has been made that little bit easier, because from this year the Brazilian championship is being broadcast on Ukrainian television which will save on all them long haul flights, although their scouts probably enjoyed the jaunts to South America during the harsh winters the city experiences.

Poor old Julius Aghahowa; he doesn’t get a look since his return from Wigan.

The Brazilians have scored 38 times between them in the league this season, so it wasn’t a surprise when Ilsinho was at the other end of Darijo Srna’s right-wing cross that evaded Olexander Shovkovsky, and he duly swept the ball into an open net in the 15th minute for the game’s only goal.

Ilsinho also hit the crossbar in the second half, while Jadson missed a penalty but Shakhtar’s rarely-troubled defence yet again kept a clean sheet and the club claimed their fifth title since independence, which is in no small matter down to their home form.

15 league games in Donetsk yielded 14 wins and a draw, while they only conceded six goals. It puts into context the enormity of Fulham’s success in the Europa League earlier in the year.

The last round of fixtures were meaningless at the weekend, so Lucescu rested most of his first XI for the match against Tavriya Simferopol – even Aghahowa was given a better seat to watch the game from; the Nigerian moved from the stands to the bench, where he spent 90 minutes watching Shakhtar win slighter closer to the pitch than he usually does.

He must’ve been gutted when the fourth official put his board up for Shakhtar’s third substitution and the number 24 of Ruslan Fomin was displayed to replace Teixeira during their 3-2 win.

Roy is no doubt penning a congratulatory letter as you read this, so in the meantime Lucescu has been forced to settle for a message on the Ukrainian president Viktor Yanukovych’s personal website.

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Dan Petrescu’s hands on approach continues to pay dividends

2010-04-02T10:30:00Z

One day NMTB will settle down. Not yet, the blog has only recently turned 27. At the moment it’s getting all of this “seeing the world” lark out of its system.

NMTB harbours dreams of visiting far-flung destinations like Mongolia; you can hardly go there with a wife and kids in tow. Although if you are married with a wife and kids, Mongolia’s exactly the kind of place you might feel like escaping to sometimes.

This fervent wanderlust hasn’t yet brought the blog to Krasnodar in southern Russia.

It does have a reason to visit now though, as Dan Petrescu has turned up to take charge of First Division Kuban Krasnodar and got his tenure underway this week with four points from his opening two games.

The Romanian, of course, resembles David Duchovny, although NMTB will spare you littering this missive with weak X Files puns. There is something of Kuban’s league positions over the last decade which smacks of the paranormal that warrants investigation from Mulder and Scully, mind...

(OK, NMTB omitted 2005 when they finished fifth in the First Division, but it’s spooky nevertheless, and you probably never noticed anyway.)

If you're an optimist (well done, how do you manage that?), Russia’s yo-yo club are guaranteed promotion and a return to the top flight; good times are just around the corner. Hurrah!

For a pessimist, you know you're a First Division side whose advancement to the Premier-Liga is followed by that inevitable season of disappointment and impending relegation back to whence you came.

Petrescu had dropped off our radars since departing England eight years ago, and it’s easy to forget what a superb right-back the Romanian was.

He clocked up 215 appearances in the Premier League (and 24 goals), and was the first foreigner to wear a Chelsea shirt 100 times.

In an official capacity anyway. There have probably been loads of foreign Blues supporters who’ve worn a Chelsea shirt 100 times before him.

It’s testament to the 42-year-old’s managerial ability that he introduced Unirea Urziceni to the world last year.

Most people had probably never heard of the 2009 Romanian Liga 1 champions, let alone pronounce their name any better than Paul Merson until Petrescu led them to an emphatic 4-1 Champions League victory over Rangers at Ibrox in October.

However behind-the-scenes problems led to his resignation before he could go tête-à-tête with Rafa Benitez in the Europa League after Unirea finished third in their group.

The 95-times capped international, who appeared in two World Cups, was linked with the then-vacant Scotland job, among others, so his arrival in Russia’s second tier may come as a surprise to some.

Petrescu named Erland Johnsen as his number two at Kuban...

Kuban possess all of the trappings of a Premier-Liga club though, bar the Premier-Liga status, obviously, which is kind of important.

His appointment continues a steady progression in Petrescu’s career. He had earned his spurs in his native Romania before heading to Poland and Wisła Kraków, where the Romanian’s British-style training regime yielded a second-placed finish in the Ekstraklasa, but won him no friends among the players; not that he was looking for any.

After receiving the sack he proclaimed: “you will never win anything. I gained this mentality from England. Over there players don’t want to be the friend of the coach. I don’t have any friends at my club.”

Petrescu’s transformation of Unirea from an unfashionable and average lot to league winners owes much to his hands-on approach, so Kuban players beware.

The new season got underway at the weekend, and pick of fixture list was indubitably the Far East derby between SKA-Energiya Khabarovsk and Luch-Energiya Vladivostok, which was held at, naturally, the 80,000-capacity Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow, several thousand miles away at the other end of the Trans-Siberian Railway.

“Frigging cold” would be an apposite description of the weather in that remote corner of Asian Russia at present, dictating that the pitch at SKA-Energiya’s Lenin Stadium is unplayable. It means the club must play their opening fixtures elsewhere. Moscow was the obvious choice.

If the RFU (not that rugby lot) were expecting a big crowd on Saturday then they were sorely disappointed, as just 700 made the 8000-odd mile, potentially marriage-wrecking onerous journey to the Russian capital to follow their teams participate in a match that has failed to produce a winner in the pair’s previous two encounters.

Make that three. The game in Moscow ended in a draw, and a 0-0 one at that.

In Kuban there was a slightly better turnout of 10,000 for the visit of the brilliantly named Avangard Kursk on Sunday for Petrescu’s first game, although there was certainly nothing avant-garde about their performance, and his team ran out comfortable 2-0 victors.

The score line doesn’t reflect Kuban’s dominance. Their opponents didn’t manage a shot on target all game and didn’t even win so much as a corner on their trip to Krasnodar. They did manage a red card late on, mind.

From his press conferences it is evident Petrescu is a self-effacing chap, and just as he was after the trouncing of Rangers, humble in victory.

Petrescu attempted to assuage the heady expectations placed upon himself and the team by focusing on Wednesday’s match, a 0-0 draw with Salyut-Energiya Belgorod (are they all called Energiya in the First Division?), whom in Soviet times were known as the Cement Workers. Brilliant!

Their crap website also resembles something from the communist era.

Second place is obviously the aim – or minimum expectation, if past seasons are to go by – and to help him achieve this he’s not recruited anyone from his former employers. That’s perhaps not a surprise though.

However, he will be able to speak Romanian with someone if he does get lonely.

Petrescu has added (among others) his fellow countryman Gheorghe Bucur and three Moldovans to a much-changed squad that is expected to be in the mix for promotion at the ***-end of the season.

He’s purported to be earning €1.5 million a year and his appointment is certainly with one eye on the Premier-Liga.

The difficult part will be consolidating their top flight status, should all go well this year.

NMTB will keep you updated. Or you could always follow his media savvy charges on Twitter!

Right, the blog’s off to enquire about that flight to Krasnodar. It’s twinned with Tallahassee, so there must be something worth seeing...

Big Phil's men are in a league of their own

2010-03-22T16:41:00Z

Phase one of Bunyodkor’s plans for world domination is well underway. Mwah ha ha ha ha…

Ahem, yes. Right, so the new, slimmer (and probably not better) Uzbek Oliy League kicked off a fortnight ago, with just 12 teams instead of 14 battling it out for third place behind Luis Felipe Scolari’s Bunyodkor and their nearest rivals (and NMTB is applying that appellation loosely) Pakhtakor.

The sight of Phil’s side at the summit is a familiar one; not just in the Oliy League, but also in the second tier, which his reserves won last year as well.

Bunyodkor’s domination (and a runners-up spot for Mash'al Mubarek’s understudies) meant no one was promoted from the First Division. Nevertheless, the UFF confirmed the relegation of top flight basement boys FJ Buxoro and bottom club Sogdiana Jizak, who sound like one of those mucky videos NMTB found in its dad’s sock draw when it was 15. (Sorry, dad.)

"This is how many millions of pounds you'll get if you score the winner"

So there’ll be only 14 sides instead of the usual full constitution of 16. If that probable trend continues, in a few years’ time they’ll only be Bunyodkor and Pakhtakor in the Oliy League, with everyone else in a massive second division. (Although Phil’s reserves have lost their opening two games of the season, so things could be interesting, briefly, in 2010.)

It’ll be like that two-team competition on the Scilly Isles, only with slightly less quality.

Last season was something of a doddle for Phil’s side, whom few would disagree are something of a promotional tool for a regime with a “questionable” human rights record.

The Swallows clocked up almost three goals per game in 2009, with their veteran forward and captain Rivaldo helping himself to 20 of those. He also hit the opener in the Tashkent derby versus Pakhtakor a week last Sunday, which they won 2-1 (see the goals here and here). And yes, for Bunyodkor’s second that is the Brazilian bombing down the left-wing for the assist.

And the answer to your next question is no, only one of those draws came against Pakhtakor.

Phil threw something of a strop upon discovering the top two were meeting on the opening day of the season, insisting that it doesn’t happen anywhere else in the world.

He was probably only perturbed at facing his neighbours before his team had reach their peak physical condition, and therefore potentially putting a dent in their hopes of winning every game this year.

And for his moan this week (maybe this could become a regular NMTB feature?), Phil was lamenting the poor quality of the pitch in Bekabad, although that one’s perhaps justified when you look at the sandpit the game was played on, and arguably this is going to be the biggest impediment to achieving 28 straight victories.

That Bunyodkor will win the league is academic; if Miodrag Radulović’s Pakhtakor are top of the table come the end of the season then the Montenegrin should be bequeathed the Uzbek presidency (however we all know that position will go to the incumbent numero uno’s daughter and purported owner of Bunyodkor Gulnara Karimova).

Pakhtakor were Uzbekistan’s Bunyodkor before Bunyodkor, and were by far and away Uzbekistan’s most successful side prior to the Creators’ err, creation five years ago.

They’d won the previous six league titles until a bottomless pit of money accrued from the country’s natural resources fuelled their rival’s rapid ascent and allowed them be usurped as Central Asia’s best team.

Even the cup is boring, if not the result.

It’s Bunyodkor’s turn this year.

Mission ‘Conquer Uzbekistan’ almost accomplished, phase two is the Champions League, which Bunyodkor crashed out of at the quarterfinal stage last year to the eventual winners Pohang Steelers from South Korea.

So to have a serious crack at the competition in 2010, Phil has strengthened in the off-season, and what better place to do your shopping than at the Asian Champions League winners? Well, the European Champions League winners probably, although Samuel Eto’o wasn’t keen on relocating to Tashkent when they put in a call to Barcelona in 2008.

Bunyodkor lost 5-4 on aggregate to the Koreans, so Phil waved his chequebook at the two primary protagonists culpable for that defeat: Brazilian Denilson (not that one, or that one) and Macedonia international Stevica Ristić, and brought both to Uzbekistan.

In the group stages of the competition this year they’ve been paired with the 2009 runners-up Al-Ittihad, whom they met in the first game, which afforded Phil the perfect opportunity to send out a warning to Pohnang and his other rivals for the trophy.

And Bunyodkor certainly did just that. A 3-0 victory against the Saudi Arabians has underlined the Uzbek’s Champions League credentials and, after picking up a win in their second match against Al-Wahda of the UAE, they look as though they could be in with a chance of an appearance in the Tokyo final.

Maybe then Phil will begin to justify that £12m-a-year salary.

All that’s missing is a marquee signing. Yes, Rivaldo’s arrival was something of a coup, but he isn't the Rivaldo of Barça.

That could change, mind.

"A million a minute, you say...?"

Phil is too busy to deal with transfers, or so he says. Well somebody’s got to book those holidays to Dubai – the club have been on two this year already – so he’s redefined Rivaldo’s role as a player/captain/director of football.

The former Deportivo, Barcelona and AC Milan star now helps identify potential signings and even brokers deals for his boss while Scolari trawls the internet for some cracking last-minute deals.

Expect the 2002 Brazilian World Cup-winning team to arrive in Tashkent soon. Wasn’t Kaká in that squad?

That’s all that’s missing from his side, a big name; somebody in their prime that will actually make people sit up and take notice of Bunyodkor, and not just a few aging South Americans eyeing one last pay cheque.

Robinho would’ve been a good signing (obviously). He’s a Brazilian at the peak of his career, and he’d probably jump at the chance of not physically exerting himself while still managing to score a hatful of goals.

At the weekend it’s reported that Phil tabled a bid of £10 million for Fiorentina’s Adrian Mutu. Arguably the midfield is where he could perhaps do with strengthening, yet the Romanian’s inclusion would be akin to Wayne Rooney joining Crawley Town in the Blue Square Premier.

Essentially, you’d require a player whom would be willing to move solely for the money; or “for the project”, as oft the justification in these cases.

There have been some big names in Tashkent though. The UFF has vowed to lure a world-class player to Central Asia on an annual basis to increase the game’s popularity. Last year’s visitor was that well-known football philanthropist Cristiano Ronaldo, who jetted in to hold a training session and stand about posing for photographs in a dressing gown for a bit.

He probably got paid a fortune for that; it’s rumoured Cesc Fàbregas was given £700,000 in 2008 for his fleeting visit.

Whether or not Phil obtains his perfect 28 in the Oliy League remains to be seen, but it’s the Champions League that is his number one priority this year, and NMTB wouldn’t bet against them achieving phase two this season; they're certainly among the favourites.

And then what of their third step, the UFF (under the instruction of the government) decamping from the AFC to join UEFA like their Central Asia brethren Kazakhstan did in 2002?

It could just happen…

Russia’s World Cup political football

2010-03-11T14:43:00Z

The bid to host a World Cup in Russia contains unsubtle approval to rogue states, finds Mark Gilbey

NMTB will forgive you for not being au fait with the political goings-on in Transdniestr, South Ossetia and Abkhazia (well, perhaps not Transdniestr, you've been apprised about Sheriff Tiraspol).

FEATURE: A powerful Sheriff, a haircut & a drunken war

After all, the British press have offered the rogue states zilch in the way of column inches. But if you're not confident as to their locations, you could always look them up on a map – like, for example, the one on Russia’s 2018/2022 World Cup bid site.

Controversially, Transdniestr in Moldova and the Georgian pair of South Ossetia and Abkhazia are demarcated by dotted lines – a symbol of their disputed status and, cynics would argue, Russia’s tacit approval.

Note dotted lines in Moldova (bottom left) and Georgia (under yellow circle)

Not being a sadistic sort of blog that enjoys administering a good old proverbial kick in the knackers to a high-profile body, it wouldn’t have the temerity to speculate what the motives would be for the inclusion of a trio of schismatic republics who covet international recognition and receive vehement Kremlin support as separate entities on their slick artwork.

Before NMTB could be accused of firing off assertions about Russia squirreling away political messages in their impressive bid, it contacted Andreas Herren, their International Media and Communication chappie. He didn’t proffer a litigious statement that verbally stuck two fingers up in the direction of Moldova and Georgia, insteing informed the blog that they were an erroneous inclusion.

“It is a purely technical misprint and there are no political considerations whatsoever involved,” he said.

Perhaps South Ossetia and Abkhazia will be peeved to be dubbed a “technical misprint”. It was only two years ago that Russia, in spite of Western admonitions, formally recognised the Georgian breakaway republics as sovereign states.

They eagerly assisted in driving Georgian forces out of the disputed territories in 2008, in a bloody conflict that has its roots in the Caucuses' Soviet past. Moscow shrewdly fostered autonomous regions in the USSR, almost like Trojan horses to quell potential turmoil in ambitious republics who were not toeing the party line.

So when the safety net of Kremlin support was whipped away, South Ossetia and Abkhazia feared the worst, not least when the 2003 Rose Revolution swept the pro-Western Mikheil Saakashvili to power, who vowed to bring the pair under Tbilisi.

The uprising denoted a volte-face for the tiny state’s political outlook, and with murmurs of NATO membership in the offing, Moscow flexed its muscles. It began doling out Russian passports (over three million to date) in Georgia and the rest of the FSU, which it perceives as its sphere of influence.

Consequently, when it all kicks off, Moscow can intervene under the premise of protecting its poor old victimised subjects. It's a good way of meddling in the lives of others.

Buoyed by Russian backing, the Georgians have been acting with the type of swagger usually reserved for the smug younger brother of a school bully, and have gone on to establish diplomatic relations with their disregarded brethren in Transdniestr. OK, in the grand scheme of things that means bugger all, but it’s symbolic of the impudence they now exhibit with Moscow’s patronage.

To get a flavour of the attitude, you only need to pop to Tiraspol, that surreal capital of Eastern European bleakness peppered with Soviet iconography. (Think Pyongyang and you're not too far off the mark.)

Looming over the populace there’s an outsized poster of a jovial Igor Smirnov, the long-serving president of Transdniestr, who probably once did a cracking turn on the Soviet entertainment circuit as a Ming the Merciless impersonator, greeting his South Ossetian and Abkhazian counterparts Eduard Kokoity and Sergei Bagapsh.

The presidents of Transdneistr, South Ossetia & Abkhazia

And now he’s seen what they’ve done with their fiefdoms, it’s piqued his own interest in presiding over a sovereign state.

Russia doesn’t formally recognise the tiny slither of land east of the repugnant Dniestr River in Moldova, although it has maintained a strong military presence there since the 18th Century and assisted them in the civil war that ensued in 1992. The Kremlin also provides it with subsidised fuel and tops up the pensions of its elderly, which isn't a luxury afforded to the rest of Moldova.

Russia parachuted in Ming – sorry, Smirnov – to command Transdniestr in the violent ruction, and he’s ruled the pariah republic for nigh on 20 years now. In that time he’s not just been twiddling his thumbs or playing with (or selling, if you believe some reports) the remnants of one of Europe’s largest arms dumps left behind by the Red Army; Smirnov has established the facets of a fully functioning state.

Transdniestr has its own flag, parliament, constitution, currency, passports and national anthem. They’ve even got a football team in Sheriff Tiraspol, and that stadium they play in ain’t half bad.

Spot the influence on the Transdniestr flag

The club are essentially a promotion tool enjoying huge financial support that has yielded nine straight Divisia Naţională titles, and it was something of a PR coup when they reached the group stages of the Europa League this season.

Smirnov is assisted by Proriv, a political party whose name translates as “breakthrough” and brazenly advocates “the idea of Pridnestrovie’s integration to Russia, struggle for preservation of Russia’s presence in the region of Moldavian-Pridnestrovian conflict.” They obviously do some cracking work at the Che Guevara School for Political Leadership in Tiraspol.

Evidently Transdniestrians enjoy their political posters, because there’s one of the group depicting a brooding Che, Russian president Dmitry Medvedev and power-behind-the-throne Vladimir Putin occupying a prominent position on Ulitsa 25 Oktober, the main artery of Tiraspol.

For what it’s worth, even the most optimistic of Moldovans (and there’s not many of them) would concede that Transdniestr is for all intents and purposes lost.

Chişinău will never rein in the rebels and assuage a population indoctrinated with a pro-independence mantra, but it would take a courageous leader to sign away such a chunk of land, even if its destiny as a Russian enclave is almost inevitable.

The issue necessitates a final resolution. Moldova covets a place at the European Union table, and the Brussels mandarins have vowed never to proffer membership to a divided nation such as Cyprus again.

That won’t occur for another 25 years, but the subject generates so much angst in Moldova and sooner or later the Kremlin will seize it anyway, so they may as well just concede defeat now and save the bloodshed. It might not be the correct solution, but it’s the most feasible.

Just a couple of weeks ago Smirnov offered Transdniestr as a base for Moscow’s Iskander Missiles, in response to America aspiring to place some of theirs in Romania.

In Russia’s defence, they don’t formally recognise Kosovo, yet that is included on the map; it’s quite conceivable that the Balkan state could’ve been omitted. If the Bid Committee wishes to include the disputed trio, they're perfectly entitled to.

Although, as they affirm, it’s only a “technical misprint”, so maybe NMTB’s just looking at the cartographic blooper through Western, anti-Russian eyes.

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The week in Eastern Europe: Ignominy, indigence and mendicancy

2010-03-05T18:00:00Z

Привет

If there existed such an article as the television licence in Eastern Europe, you could consider the beholder suitably disgruntled.

The region’s output is not in the vanguard of excellence, not when broadcasters subject their viewers to staid political drivel, bonkers game shows of Tarrant on TV clip-quality, or the kind of hardcore filth one could only dream of acquiring at a car boot sale (or so NMTB’s heard).

And they're not averse to taking a perfectly good format from one of our programmes and Eastern European-ifying it, like Moldova’s Strictly Come Dancing. The sadistic producer pairs a celebrity with an indigent member of the public – that’s an indigent member of the public with a sick relative unable to afford treatment, NMTB hastens to add – for a dance-off.

You can probably guess what the prize is; in the blog’s opinion, it’s akin to organised mendicancy, especially when the individual in poor health is wheeled out to plead for their relation to remain in the competition.

Also, you have to question whether spending several hours a week dancing really is helpful to the situation, and could they be doing something a little more productive with their time, like ooooh, getting a job, maybe?

NMTB’s guilty pleasure after work in Chişinău was the ludicrous Teste de Fidelite, perhaps best explained as an unhealthy hybrid of Balls of Steel and The Jeremy Kyle Show that our failing society will indubitably be lapping up in the not-too-distant future, if the furore surrounding the indiscretions of certain footballers is anything to go by.

Plot thus: take one insecure woman, a (potentially) adulterous other half and a harlot with enormous gazongas as inducement. Fast forward through the “chance meeting” between said other half and harlot with enormous gazongas, and the pair end up indulging in what swimming pool signage would describe as “heavy petting” at her flat.

At this point, the insecure (and now correct and incredibly irate) woman, smug presenter and two balaclava-clad goons burst in to bring proceedings to an abrupt halt. It’s then that the callous producer gets his grubby mitts on a glorious money shot of five minutes of stiletto-hurling, fist-flying mayhem.

Next we cut to the miscreant in a studio enduring the ignominy of a lie detector test in the manner of a Stalinist show trial except with the bonus of utter humiliation on national television.

It honestly wouldn’t surprise the blog if it reached these shores with vacuous footballers as fodder, and it’s doubtless in the minds of Teste de Fidelite’s creators, as players in Eastern Europe aren’t exactly holier-than-thou.

Recently it’s been Russian club Anzhi Makhachkala’s Youssef Rabeh whose capricious behaviour has been engendering media interest.

A litany of controversial incidents have blighted the career of the newly-promoted Premier-Liga side’s Moroccan defender since leaving Africa, including being handed a three-year suspended jail sentence for drink-driving, so it perhaps wasn’t a disappointment to Levski Sofia fans that the 24-year-old was hived off to the Dagestan club earlier this month.

Rabeh gets a telling-off from Mike Dean

The centre-back joined his new team-mates at Anzhi’s, ahem, “chaotic” training camp in Turkey, where they were preparing a long-awaited return to Russia’s top flight.

Their friendly against Slavia Sofia – and Rabeh’s debut – was a farce, owing to the game’s abandonment on 58 minutes after Magomed Magomedov’s dismissal provoked Anzhi players and officials into attacking the referee.

Leading the charge wasn’t the controversial Moroccan but, naturally, club president Magomed-Sultan Magomedov, who was disgusted that the official had shown the temerity to brandish a second yellow card at his son.

And there were more problems for Anzhi after Rabeh proclaimed himself unavailable for their next friendly against fellow Russians Krylia Sovetov Samara because of a niggling injury.

He remained at the club’s hotel during their 2-1 defeat, but on Anzhi’s return, their “crocked” centre-back was nowhere to be seen.

Rabeh, whose whereabouts remain unknown, had absconded. Also gone, in what could be an unrelated incident, was his roommate Todor Timonov’s wallet.

"I'm shocked," declared Rabeh’s agent Nikolay Zheynov. "I've talked to his family and they also have no idea where he is. He stabbed us in the back."

Rabeh is since said to have conducted a telephone interview with the Bulgarian newspaper Meridian Match and affirmed he was retiring from football, just a fortnight and 60 minutes playing time into a three-year contract with the Russians.

"We did so much to help him and we hoped that his move to Anzhi would help him and his career," Levski's chief executive Konstantin Bazhdekov said, in a buck-passing lilt.

It’s cast something of a shadow over the new-season preparations for Anzhi, who are refusing to stump up the transfer fee for the Moroccan, said to be around the £300,000 mark.

Contract law isn't NMTB's forte, but it presumes the matter is between Anzhi and Rabeh, and nothing to do with Levski, who have have taken the matter to FIFA while presumably vowing never to deal with Russian clubs again.

Only a few months have elapsed since they become embroiled in one of the most bizarre occurrences in football. In September Levski received an offer-you-can’t-refuse bid for a quartet of their key players from Rubin Kazan, and promptly packed them off to Russia to discuss personal terms. It was roughly £4 million on the table – good money for a Bulgarian club.

Something perturbs NMTB about the person who oversees Levski’s transfers, because they evidently aren’t the most erudite of individuals and three facets of the deal would have aroused suspicion among the wise:

1) The Russian transfer window is closed in September
2) The players were asked to fly to Moscow, 450 miles west of Kazan
3) The contact details proffered were a mobile telephone number

It didn’t evoke suspicion in Sofia and the players did meet somebody in the Russian capital, that much is true, although substantially lower figures were bandied about by the Rubin “delegate” and the troupe flew back to Bulgaria with contracts unsigned and, more importantly, minus a cheque for £4 million.

Slightly peeved, Levski contacted Rubin. Well, they dialled the number on the fax, and all they got was a bemused English girl, who definitely wasn’t Gurban Berdiýew.

The perturbed Bulgarians eventually did reach the Premier-Liga champions, who confirmed they weren’t culpable for summoning the Levksi players to Moscow and announced that the whole affair was news to them.

It probably wasn’t a coincidence that the wild goose chase occurred on the same day as the Sofia derby and a severely depleted Levski slumped to a 2-0 defeat to their bitter rivals CSKA.

And it almost certainly wasn’t a coincidence that hitherto unheard of sums of money concerning Bulgarian football in Asia were staked on a CSKA victory.

Interpol are investigating the ridiculous episode, which ironically lists Rabeh as one of the quartet of players involved.

Thankfully they're not all a bad lot though, and there was one uplifting story from the FSU last weekend that proves footballers can be an affable bunch.

Shakhtar Donetsk’s Darijo Srna purchased 760 tickets for local orphans and foster children to attend the Hirnyky’s 1-0 win against Vorskla on Sunday. The Croatian also paid for their transport to and from the game.

Now that is the behaviour of a captain.

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The narcissist’s ugly cup

2010-02-26T17:00:00Z

Sigmund Freud would’ve loved to have had the late Saparmurat Niyazov on his couch. (Not in the biblical sense, you understand).

It was specious logic that provided the basis for his creation of a pervasive personality cult of Wikipedia embellished, Kim Jong-Il-esque proportions upon assuming the Turkmenistan presidency in 1991; if only a modicum of that egotism were afforded to Niyazov’s annual football tournament...

Plucked from the smouldering cadaver of the Soviet Union, his fledgling nation's decades of Russian subjugation had left it devoid of its own identity and culture, like Hull today. So Turkmenbashi (Father of the Turkmen), as Niyazov unblushingly renamed himself, set about rectifying that.

Only, the eccentric leader and erstwhile stalwart of the Soviet apparatchik opted to forge a new state upon the persona of his not-so-virtuous self.

Niyazov financed his fiefdom’s transformation into his own personal Disneyland from a bottomless pit of cash accrued from Turkmenistan’s vast reserves of natural resources, and if there's one thing that deep-pocketed despots are good at (and let’s face it, there is only one good thing deep-pocketed despots are good at), it’s raiding the state coffers to splurge on grandiose and bombastic projects to fashion a lasting legacy with.

"Did I wash my hands?"

In Aşgabat, the corollary of the self-anointed President for Life’s vision is a capital city Lonely Planet succinctly describes as “somewhere between Las Vegas and Pyongyang.”

Or, to keep it local, Blackpool and Slough.

Giant pyramids, innumerable golden statues of himself, climate-altering pine forests in the Karakum Desert and an 8,000m2 palace of ice where ministers were cajoled into participating in weekly auditions for Dancing on Ice – just some of Niyazov’s loopy investments, which also included the weaving of the world’s largest rug.

(Ironically, it’s only Turkmenistan of the quintet of ‘Stans who haven’t dispatched a team to Vancouver for the Winter Olympics, which suggests they haven’t quite made full use of the facilities Niyazov bequeathed them. Bit ungrateful, that).

MEET THE STANS: An A-Z of Central Asia

His face was omnipresent in Turkmenistan, which perhaps wasn't the most judicious decision to take when you have the misfortune to resemble Dom Joly.

"Yoo-hoo! Just me again!"

And like all good dictators, he offered his populace a literary treat – the Ruhnama, or “Book of Soul”. That it became a Turkmen bestseller was inevitable: Ruhnama was compulsory reading for Niyazov’s downtrodden population, whose kids were spoon-fed the tripe from his five-volume treatise during their one year of schooling.

But the parents of a new generation of submissive thickos weren’t left out. They also had to swot up on his incoherent ramblings, as they constituted part of the written examination for the Turkmen driving test.

Sadly the guide to good living has been a notable omission from Richard & Judy’s Book Club and there’s not been a great demand for it on Amazon, although the Turkmen government have uploaded it to their website in a whopping 22 languages, including a version in that new alphabet Niyazov thrust upon his unwitting populace.

The weighty tome was launched in September 2001, except it wasn’t called September in Niyazov’s Turkmenistan. September was renamed Ruhnama in an ingenious publicity stunt, and the other 11 were also bestowed equally egotistic monikers; January was “Turkmenbashi” and April was his mum’s month, bless him.

Ballet was deemed superfluous and banned, as was makeup for newsreaders, gold teeth and music from car radios. Beards were off the agenda for men and, presumably, very rough women.

When he quit smoking, Niyazov ordered the masses to, at least in public, anyway.

Singers were also forbidden from lip-syncing, which would have put the brakes on Victoria Beckham’s career. Maybe we can learn something from his reign after all...

And perhaps as a second facet of his healthy living campaign, Niyazov lavished praise on the humble melon, creating a national day for the fruit in August. They have a bit of sing-song, a dance, probably eat it; errrr... they look at melons?

Maybe, but there’s a whole day put aside for melon-related activities and the kids all wear melon costumes and a great time is had by all.

It’s just one of 24 public holidays that includes two, yes, TWO, dedicated to carpets.

"Very nice, but when's the football on?"

There’s also a “Good Neighbours Day”, which NMTB believes to be something to do with his favourite soap, although foreign journalists are about as welcome in Turkmenistan as NMTB is in Humberside, so it’s difficult to ascertain the full story.

But Niyazov definitely liked football, and at the weekend the 16th annual President’s Cup got underway amid much pomp and fanfare in the Olympic Stadium in Aşgabat.

Friday would’ve been the 70th birthday of the autocrat, who died from a heart attack in 2006.

The State Committee for Tourism and Sport bills the eight-team competition as a “prestigious club tournament”, which sounds befitting of an event from the Niyazov era, so surely the FFT (that’s the Football Federation of Turkmenistan, not FourFourTwo) have assembled a stellar cast list comprising the world’s finest teams who vie for a Champions League-trumping prize fund?

After all, now Niyazov’s no longer around to blow the state budget on grandiloquent monuments to himself, the Turkmenistan government aren’t exactly short of a bob or two, and every dictatorship loves a good showpiece dripping in self-adulation.

So who’s there? Manchester United? AC Milan? Real Madrid? Nearly.

World-domination wannabes Bunyodkor? Nope.

What about cash-strapped sides like Portsmouth, FK Moskva or Lokomotiv Astana? No way.

So who's there? Well, Okzhetpes (finished 11th in a 14-team Kazakh Premier League), they are; Nebitçi Balkanabat (runners-up in the Turkmen Ýokary Liga), they’re there; and we’ve got Altyn Asyr (Turkmenistan Cup winners); ooh, Abdish-Ata Kant (Kyrgyz League runners-up), we’ve got them too; FK Ekranas (Lithuanian A Lyga winners); Tajik champions Vakhsh Qurghonteppa; Armenia’s fifth-best Premier League side Gandzasar; and last, and probably least, a Turkish youth team – yippee!

Yep, that’s right, it’s sh*t.

As is the 100,000 New Manat jackpot, which equates to about £20,000. Stick a couple of noughts on the end of that and you might justify the “prestigious club tournament” tagline. And entice some half-decent clubs.

Maybe the government are spending the budget on pulling Turkmenistan out of Niyazov’s dystopia.

OK, as the State Committee for Tourism and Sports rightly points out, the cup has attracted 74 teams from 20 countries, except they’ve not been all that good at football, which puts the cup at something of a disadvantage really.

In its 16-year history the trophy has only left Turkmenistan three times, when it was captured by the giants of world club football that are Esteghlal of Iran, Torpedo Kutaisi from Georgia and the Moldovans Dacia Chişinău.

And it isn't even an outsized Turkmenbashi-shaped cup or anything.

Still, news is news (although you could equally apply “no news is good news” in this instance); here’s what’s been happening in Aşgabat.

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Why Shakhtar Donetsk really will beat Fulham

2010-02-25T15:30:00Z

When NMTB filed its missive entitled “Why Shakhtar will beat Fulham” last week, the tenet of the blog was pertaining to the Ukrainians' Europa League tie against Fulham as a whole, not just the first leg. Honest.

NMTB, Thu Feb 18: Why Shakhtar will beat Fulham

It wasn’t necessarily lending credence to the views of the 56 percent of Shakhtar supporters whom expected their beloved Hirnyky to win both fixtures.

Roy Hodgson has fashioned a well-organised outfit at Craven Cottage and shored up a once-porous defence, so a 2-1 defeat is neither a disaster nor disgrace.

However, the visitors had a great deal of possession in the opening 45 minutes and Mircea Lucescu would have been dismayed that they didn’t build on that in the second half.

(That’s a slightly convoluted manner of saying “game of two halves”, really).

PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE

It was Shakhtar’s third European tie in London, and the third occasion they’ve failed to return to Ukraine with a win. The Pomaranchevo-Chorni’s previous two visits to England yielded a 1-1 draw with Tottenham Hotspur last season and a 3-2 defeat at Arsenal a decade ago.

Who can forget that late five-minute double-salvo from free-scoring defender turned Football Focus couch-dweller Martin Keown? They must have constituted a decent proportion of his career goals tally.

But, like now, some things never change.

In 2000 there were murmurs over Arsene Wenger’s future at Arsenal and Shakhtar were something of a pestilent beast on home turf. They dispatched their London visitors in eastern Ukraine 2-0 and 3-0 respectively, and it will take an Herculean effort by Fulham to reach the next round.

Bergkamp v Shakhtar. In London, obviously

It’s now 10 games unbeaten at home in Europe for Shakhtar and domestically they have still to taste defeat at their new Donbass Arena. Indeed, their solitary loss in the league this season has been a 3-0 drubbing at the hands of Dynamo Kyiv in the Ukrainian capital.

Fulham only arrived in Donetsk yesterday, so haven’t exactly afforded themselves a great deal of time for sightseeing or getting refused entry to the pompous and glitzy Donetsk City shopping centre on Pushkina, although maybe they’ve been swotting up on their opponents’ hometown and realised that there really is very little to do there.

Probably a bit nippy for Roy to take them on a boat ride on the Kalmius at this time of year.

It was nine years ago as an unworldly 18-year-old that NMTB last visited Donetsk and back then, living in Kyiv as a single blog alone and abroad for the first time, it was “interesting” to learn that there were “heaps of slags in Donetsk.”

“Wow, it’s gonna be just like Hull with all these ‘terykony’ the Kyivites are referring to”, was its initial reaction.

NMTB set off for Donetsk on the overnight train blithely unaware that it wasn’t quite the sinkhole of iniquity it had envisaged. It’s slag-heaps that the city is renowned for, and it wasn’t anywhere near as gratifying a holiday as the blog had hoped for; it had to settle for some football instead.

To confirm, NMTB did not head to eastern Ukraine in search of women of questionable disposition. There were plenty of those in Kyiv...

Donetsk is an archetypal grim, industrial Eastern European town of steel mills and coalmines, and in the grand scheme of things, a relatively new settlement. The city was founded just a couple of hundred years ago by John Hughes, a Welshman, and originally named Hughesovka. Honestly.

It’s also twinned with the more famous “steel cities” of Sheffield and Pittsburgh.

Donetsk briefly changed to Stalino, although Nikita Khrushchev’s de-Stalinisation put an end to all the self-gratification of Uncle Joe’s tenure, and it was bestowed its current moniker in honour of the Siverskyi Donets River.

Its streets didn’t meet the same fate, mind. As in many other FSU cities, their names read like a who’s who of Russia, and they're not all heroes. Felix Dzerzhinsky, founder of the Cheka (the precursor to the KGB), still has one of the main boulevards in Donetsk bearing his name. NMTB’s personal favourite was the “50 Years of USSR” street.

It’s a city of approximately a million inhabitants with a distinctly un-Ukrainian flavour, what with its proximity to the border with Russia, and that's reflected in the demographics of Donetsk, which has an almost 50-50 Ukrainian/Russian mix.

Shakhtar’s owner – the oligarch Rinat Akhmetov, who probably sits surrounded by piles of hryvnia reminiscent of the terykony that blight Donetsk’s landscape – was born and “earned” his wealth in the city that can also count upon Sergei Rebrov as a “local boy done good”.

THE DONBASS ARENA

Back when NMTB visited Donetsk, the Donbass Arena was just a twinkling in Akhmetov’s eye: the £255m stadium, which will be one of the four Ukrainian venues for Euro 2012, was only inaugurated last year (by Beyoncé, no less).

It’s a grandiose, world-class edifice, indubitably the best stadium in the FSU at present – although with the money being pumped into the region’s footballing infrastructure, the 50,000-seater is going to receive some strong competition in the coming years.

Shakhtar drafted in the Sports Turf Research Institute, who are also responsible for the pitch at Wembley Stadium, to help prepare for Fulham’s visit and ensure the surface is in top condition: it has experienced sub-zero temperatures and heavy snow of late.

A stadium like the Donbass Arena is perhaps befitting a modern, forward-thinking club of Shakhtar’s nature.

Off the pitch they now possess all the facets of a top European side; state-of-the-art youth academy, ultramodern mega-store, informative trilingual website. They even proffer guided tours of their new home, often conducted by a former player.

Interestingly, Shakhtar are also offering fans attending the game cut-price taxi rides tonight. Officially their deal with Status Taxis is to alleviate problems in exiting the Donbass Arena; however, the 10% discount possibly has an alternative altruistic reason behind it that Akhmetov perhaps won’t readily admit to.

Ukrainian taxis are inexpensive, but some unscrupulous drivers operate a dual pricing system rendering fares even Akhmetov would baulk at; NMTB landed itself in hot water in Bakhchisaray a few years ago and the outcome wasn’t pleasant (at least not for the blog), so by appointing one firm “official taxicab” of the tie, it’s perhaps a way of minimising this threat to away supporters.

Either way, it’s a fantastic gesture.

On the pitch, Fulham will almost certainly require at least one goal; they can't afford to sit on such a slender lead, not against a side boasting a wealth of attacking options like Shakhtar.

The Ukrainians might not have had a game since the Fulham defeat, but if they can impose their style of play on the tie like they did in the first half last week, then Shakhtar have a very good chance of progressing.

The pitch at the Donbass Arena is wider than Craven Cottage and they're a team who like to utilise the width, so it could be a tough ask for Hodgson’s side to come away with a positive result.

It will be a close affair, but NMTB is sticking with its initial prediction: Shakhtar to progress.

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Why Shakhtar will beat Fulham

2010-02-18T12:30:00Z

The “face police” stood sentinel at the entrances to the haunts of the rich and famous are a staple fixture across the FSU, keeping out miscreants and poor people like you.

Not so long ago NMTB was in Chişinău wanting to explore Malldova, a sparkling new shopping centre in the Moldovan capital, but was denied entrance on account of there being a pair of Havaianas on its feet.

In Mariah Carey-esque diva fashion, NMTB retorted “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Never Mind the Bolsheviks of Never Mind the Bolsheviks fame; a popular FSU-themed football blog on FourFourTwo.com.”

It didn’t work, unsurprisingly, and it was forced to shop elsewhere. Just like Shakhtar Donetsk’s players on Tuesday.

The Hirnyky [Miners] are in London for their Europa League match with Fulham. Decked out in club tracksuits, they were mistaken for a group of chavs by snooty staff at Harrods – some of whom are doubtless the recipients of courtesy tickets from the boss – and were unceremoniously told to hop it.

Is that Mohammed Al-Fayed up to his old tricks ahead of their tie with his team?

"Yer name's not down, yer not coming in"

The blog gleaned that little nugget from their official website which, for autograph hunters and members of furtive militia groups, makes for very interesting reading.

These days, Shakhtar are quite happy to divulge the minutiae of their every move. Quite something, coming from a region where Winston Smithalikes once trawled the media and censored information that could be deemed of use to that capitalist mob on the other side of the Iron Curtain.

(That work was done by the Soviet-licious sounding Main Administration For The Protection Of State Secrets In The Press Under The Union Of Soviet Socialist Republics Council of Ministers. Try fitting that on a letterhead – no wonder they abbreviated it to GLAVIT.)

Shakhtar.com, available in Ukrainian, Russian and Paul Merson English, offers the casual stalker all the ammunition they require to make their pursuit of the team a successful one.

Last season's UEFA Cup winners

The 2009 UEFA Cup winners arrived in London – well, Luton Airport – fresh from a weekend winter break in Marbella. NMTB doesn’t know the name of the airline, but one can assume it wasn’t Easyjet, what with the club’s owner being one of Europe’s richest men and everything.

Rinat Akhmetov is one of those nouveau-riche chaps from the FSU – an oligarch, if you will, although Akhmetov won't: he’s not too keen on the term.

You’d think Akhmetov would possess a more GLAVIT approach to matters after his predecessor Oleksandr Bragin was killed in a bomb attack at the club’s former stadium in 1996. But no, we're given an itinerary:

Feb 1 Leave Donetsk for Marbella at 9.30am (we’re also supplied a list of who has and hasn’t gone). That’s five hours in the air and an hour’s drive to the Kempinski Hotel Bahia in Estapona.

Feb 3 Participate in the Copa del Sol.

Feb 7 Ukrainian contingent driven to country’s consulate in Malaga to vote for Viktor Yanukovych in the presidential election. Or the other bloke.

Feb 10 Day off to visit the monkeys in Gibraltar. That’s the primates, not Davy Jones et al.

Feb 13-16 Fly to Luton Airport and stay at Sopwell House, St Albans. We’re told they trained locally and went to see Fulham play Notts County in the FA Cup (but left after the third goal).

Feb 17 Transfer to Wyndham London Chelsea Harbour Hotel.

Feb 19 Fly back to Donetsk in the morning.

Habitually the FSU winter break is a time of arsing about on a golf course somewhere in the Med, which puts the region’s teams at something of a disadvantage in terms of match fitness against their Western European counterparts in the knockout stages of continental competitions.

But since their 1-0 defeat to FK Partizan on December 16 Shakhtar have competed in the Copa del Sol, an eight-team tournament featuring half-decent sides like CSKA Moskva and FC København. (This is prior to them arsing about on a golf course in Belek, NMTB should add.)

Mircea Lucescu’s team reached the final along with CSKA, only for bad weather to force its cancellation. (That's the Copa del Sol, called off for bad weather.) The tournament then descended into something of a farce, because there was no feasible alternative to reschedule it for. So they just didn’t play it.

Not even the CIS Cup has sunk that low. Still, give it time...

NMTB: A not-so-happy 18th birthday for the CIS Cup

A sojourn in sunny Spain will have also afforded Lucescu’s new acquisitions time to bond. Most notably in the recent transfer window was his purchase of perennial Football Manager wonderkid Douglas Costa who, it transpires, is as good as the computer game suggests.

He’s settled into the team rather too quickly for Roy Hodgson’s liking and Costa’s transfer brings the total number of Brazilians to eight in an industrious squad built on Eastern European grit and determination augmented by Samba flair.

Costa living: beware Brazilians, Fulham

Fernandinho is an NMTB favourite in midfield, and up front Luiz Adriano has scored 19 goals this season. Watch out for Ilsinho on the right, too.

At the back, Răzvan Raţ, their left-sided defender, was the subject of an enquiry from Real Madrid recently and Hodgson will be praying he fails a late fitness test on a leg injury that saw him confined to sipping cocktails on a sun lounger for much of Shakhtar’s time in Spain.

Dario Srna was also linked with a move away from the Donbass Arena to Chelsea, and rumours surfaced this week of interest from Tottenham and Bayern Munich.

One caveat to his potential suitors, mind. Players whom Shakhtar have flogged to Premier League clubs haven’t endured the best of times in England, Andrei Kanchelskis being the obvious exception.

Elano was almost as frustrating as Robinho at Manchester City, while Nery Castillo was just plain awful; Isaac Okoronkwo failed to break into a poor Wolves team a few years back; Jan Laštůvka was average at Shakhtar’s opponents Fulham and didn’t make a single appearance at West Ham; Andrejs Štolcers played for four different teams in England without distinction – he’s currently and Hayes & Yeading United.

And Wigan fans will be hoping their recent loan signing of Marcelo Moreno Martins, who had a stint in Germany prematurely terminated, will prove more successful than their last Shakhtar signing Julius Aghahowa.

Dave Whelan probably couldn’t believe it when Akhmetov offered to take him off his hands in 2008. What’s that about a fool and his money?

Like Owen Hargreaves, the Nigerian has been axed from Shakhtar’s Europa League squad and won’t be in the team at Craven Cottage. Except he’s not injured; manager Lucescu has replaced him with Douglas Costa, which sounds about right.

Shakhtar haven’t lost at their new Donbass Arena stadium yet. OK, they only moved in last August and Dynamo Kyiv haven’t visited yet, but it’s still quite an achievement. Shakhtar also defeated Arsenal and Spurs on their trips to eastern Ukraine, so Fulham could well have their work cut out to extend an impressive run in the competition.

NMTB’s verdict: Shakhtar to progress

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Madonna, war zones, ghost towns & Hull

2010-02-15T18:00:00Z

AZERI PREMYER LIQASİ RESULTS: Sat 13 Feb Olimpik Bakı 2-0 Standard Bakı, Karvan Evlakh 0-1 Neftçi Bakı, FK Bakı 2-0 Qäbälä, Turan 1-0 Muğan Salyan, Khazar Lankaran 0-0 Qarabağ Agdam, İnter Bakı 2-1 Simurq

Salam eleykim from the Land of Fire.

Before a disgruntled minority begin choking on their tea, that wasn’t an attempt at writing in “northern.”

Despite the hostile-sounding sobriquet, the blog isn't back in its old stomping ground of Kingston-upon-Hull on a Friday night.

This week the NMTB bandwagon has arrived in Azerbaijan.

But, much like a walk through ‘Ull city centre of an evening, the blog needs a bullet-proof vest and tin hat to venture outside.

It’s come to the periphery of a frozen conflict zone to meet the Premyer Liqası’s refugees and everybody’s second favourite team, Qarabağ Agdam, who have returned home, well, nearly, 17 years after fleeing an Armenian invasion.

Probably still be safer than Hull...

First off, unless your Caucasus history is up to scratch, you’ve probably never heard of the Stallions or Nagorno-Karabakh, so NMTB will take off its tin hat momentarily and replace it with its history one to whisk you back to the 1980s; to a decade of Margaret Thatcher, the Chernobyl Disaster and massive shoulder-pads.

It was also a time when the fissures in the Soviet Union’s constitution came to the fore.

Qarabağ were founded in, funnily enough, Agdam, a city trumped only by New Orleans for its poor location.

View Map

Once a bustling metropolis of 100,000, Agdam was situated adjacent to the disputed territory of Nagorno-Karabakh, a region presented to the AzSSR in 1921 at the expense of its hapless neighbours Armenia by those pleasant chappies in the Kremlin.

It wasn’t quite the compensation Baku coveted for the Red Army overrunning their entire country a year earlier, and the gift was almost certain to become a future source of discontent.

Historically the Caucuses had always been a rough-and-ready outpost of the Russian empire, so when communism went ***-up in the 80s everything went f***ing mental.

Thirty-thousand people died and 800,000 fled when marauding Armenian troops hopped over the border in 1988, eventually conquering Nagorno-Karabakh and its environs during the six-year conflict.

Defensive formation: Nagorno-Karabakh soldiers and tanks

Agdam unwittingly found itself in the buffer zone Armenia created to protect its spoils of war, and razed the city to the ground.

Today it’s an eerie ghost town of dilapidated buildings with a post-apocalyptic skyline. Not like Hull, then. (See pics here)

Some twerps enjoy visiting these kind of places, just to say they have.

It’s somewhere a bit different, a bit dangerous, which is fine if doing frig-all bar dodging bullets and kidnappings is your thing.

Qarabağ fled to the Azeri capital Baku in 1993, poignantly winning the Premyer Liqası in their new home, but success was fleeting and in many ways the club’s fortunes mirrored that of their fellow refugees.

Financial problems beset the Stallions and almost forced them into liquidation, until 2004 when they were purchased by a “food holding company” by the name of Azersun, whatever they do.

Azersun b(r)ought success, or maybe the canteen stocked Lucozade because Qarabağ were transformed into a half decent side again, even though they were playing in front of crowds that rarely troubled the 500 mark, with the lion’s share being refugees bussed in from western Azerbaijan.

The Tofik Bachramov stadium in Baku

But Qarabağ never forgot their roots, even in Baku and tirelessly worked, as they do today, to improve the life of those displaced by the conflict.

There’s still people in limbo now - the government has been slow to resettle them – to do so would be almost an admission the region is Armenia’s.

Today Nagorno-Karabakh is de facto independent and de jure Azeri, although its ambiguous status suits neither them nor Armenia, and a breakthrough has yet to be found, even with Russian-mediated talks.

The issue dictated that the two were kept apart in the Euro 2012 draw and has even permeated into the Eurovision Song Contest. Crikey, the gloves really are off.

NEWS: UEFA to keep ex-Soviet sides apart

Azeri television obscured the number of the Armenian entry in last year’s competition, not that that prevented a hardy few from casting their vote for Inga and Anush Arshakyans.

It cost them far more than the price of a text, mind.

The 32 Azeris that registered their enjoyment of the duo’s performance of Jan Jan had their details passed to the Ministry of National Security by their mobile phone operators, and were branded “potential security threats.”

Poor old Rovshan Nasirli, a 25-year-old chap from Baku, was detained and forced to pen an essay explaining his “unpatriotic” choice before being released.

Also last year, Qarabağ took the momentous decision to re-locate.

Even today soldiers occupy the trenches and Qarabağ’s fellow Premyer Liqası chums weren’t exactly beaming at the prospect of playing of playing 15 miles from the frontline, but the PFL and AFFA were surprisingly compliant on the matter, perhaps because the issue of Nagorno-Karabakh is still such a contentious one in Azerbaijan.

The club picked the town of Guzanli, pretty much the closest “safe” settlement to Agdam, as their new home and buoyed by crowds of a few thousand (well what did you expect? The Guzanli Stadium’s hardly Old Trafford), Qarabağ have turned the ground into something of a fortress.

They’ve swept all before them this season at home, bar a couple of draws, including a dour 0-0 with Qäbälä, who may or may not share an affinity with the absurd wristband-wearing Madonna-championed homonymic religion.

They might, though. Maybe the Queen of Pop is looking to adopt in the region; there are plenty of refugees in need of a home in western Azerbaijan...

"This wristband gives backstage access in heaven"

Qarabağ currently sit second in the table, three points behind Inter Bakı, although being a finicky sort of blog, NMTB would cite a lack of goals as the club’s downfall in its title challenge this season.

OK, Qarabağ scored three last Wednesday, but they’ve been at a premium for the Stallions, who've averaged just one a game and have nicked every match they’ve won by a single goal.

But then, it never hurt Arsenal for several decades BW (Before Wenger), and if they're keeping them out at the other end and second in the table, Qarabag's manager Qurban Qurbanov can hardly complain.

And their cause won’t be aided by Steve McClaren getting Vagif Javadov.

Nope, that’s not some nasty STD the pseudo-Dutchman picked up when his FC Twente side played Qarabağ in a Europa League tie last year that’s resulted in a costly lawsuit with the Azeris.

Javadov was Qarabağ’s star striker and is the current Player of the Year in Azerbaijan whom McClaren bought in the recent transfer window.

The 20-year-old is a bit special and, much like a nasty STD, it’s probably not the last you’ve heard of him.

Qarabağ’s fans continue to look to the team as a symbol of hope and inspiration, and it would be an apposite reward for them and the club if it was Aslan Kerimov lifting the Premyer Liqası trophy in May.

For more information on Nagorno-Karabakh, NMTB recommends Simon Reeve’s documentary from the BBC’s Holidays in the Danger Zone: Places That Don’t Exist series.

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Rubin’s reserves vs that one from Kazakhstan

2010-01-25T16:00:00Z

Congratulations to Rubin Kazan.

Well, OK, to Rubin-2 Kazan, on their 5-2 victory against FK Aktobe in Sunday’s CIS Cup final.

Yep, the annual gathering to ascertain who’s got the best reserve team in the FSU is over for another year, and perhaps befitting a tournament dominated by kids, there were a couple of clowns in attendance.

Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini were both present in Moscow and what’s more, actually managed to spend the entire weekend in the Russian capital without spouting any nonsense.

B'n'P outflank the Russian Sports Minister

What the pair witnessed was Rubin’s youth team doing the seniors rather proud while they were busy lowering their handicaps on a golfing holiday in Belek, or a “Turkish training camp” as the Tatar side were calling it.

Inclement weather put a bit of a dampener on their preparations for the new season on the Mediterranean coast, but it still trumps a Russian winter.

NMTB was in fact rooting for the Kazakhs in the final.

They, like the rest of the Central Asian teams (Bunyodkor aside), had afforded the tournament a modicum of respect and Aktobe, who were also runners-up last year, could now have missed their best chance of winning the trophy.

The Russian Football Union has plans to meet to discuss how best to rejuvenate the competition.

And if they’ve got any sense they’ll use NMTB’s blog from a couple of weeks ago as a template for the new format: rotate the tournament between countries, award decent prize money, merge it with the Channel One Cup and don’t cram the 31 fixtures into nine days.

A $1 million jackpot for the winner has already been mooted, so maybe they do read Never Mind the Bolsheviks after all.

Perhaps of more concern to Aktobe is the prospect of losing Emil Kenzhesariev, the competition’s top scorer.

He helped himself to a goal in every round – that’s six in total – and the Kazakh rumour mill has been working, not overtime, but, well… just working, really, and it is believed several Russian clubs have expressed an interest in him.

It was a competition full of goals. Ninety-one of them, to be precise, which averages almost three a game.

Bahodir Nasimov, a 22-year-old forward at Luis Felipe Scolari’s Bunyodkor, scored five – as did Igor Bugaiov, except the Dacia Chişinău striker got his quintet in just one match.

That was in the 6-1 drubbing the Moldovans handed out to the Pyunik Yerevan trialists from Armenia, whose form was abysmal, to say the least.

NMTB doubts (m)any of them will have earned a contract with the Bardzraguyn khumb champions after three straight defeats sent them packing at the group stages.

Still, all looks rosier for them on the domestic front as Pyunik’s new owner Samvel Alexanian, who happens to be deputy of the National Assembly, is attempting to push through a bill exempting Armenian football from taxation.

Funny, that.

Berets should also be taken off to Vadim Boreţs, who notched up a record 41st appearance in the CIS Cup this year.

He loves it. The 34-year-old Moldovan, who represented Bakı Futbol Klubu this time round, first played in the competition at just 16 for Zimbru Chişinău, and evidently enjoys spending the winter months in Moscow, rather than somewhere nice and warm on a golfing holiday/training camp.

One caveat vis-à-vis the CIS Cup is the RFU’s proposal to shift the Premier-Liga from its current summer schedule to a Western European-style winter one (as covered, naturally, by the Wall Street Journal).

The winter season could come into existence as early as next year if the committee can decide upon a feasible format that somehow circumnavigates the weather.

That may well impact on the future of a tournament NMTB still feels possesses a great deal of potential, if only the big teams would give it a chance.

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Soviets vs Soviets vs Soviets vs Soviets

2010-01-22T16:30:00Z

It's CIS: Moscow (pt. II)...

We’ve just had the second rest day of the CIS Cup, which means it’s semi-finals time.

Collectively the 16 teams notched up a rather impressive 67 goals in the group stages, so at least those that bothered to attend witnessed some half-decent action.

Eleven of those came against the Pyunik Yerevan Trialists XI, who hardly covered themselves in glory with three defeats on the spin, and signed off in less-than-spectacular fashion by being on the wrong end of a 6-1 spanking from Dacia Chişinău.

Maybe the search for that goalkeeper the Armenian champions covet isn't over just yet...

On a personal level, NMTB has been left slightly aggrieved by the Russian Football Union’s decision to award a prize to the Kazakh journalist Timur Kamasheva for his “contribution to popularising” the CIS Cup.

The tournament receives about as much attention in the Western media as Richard Blackwood does, and secretly the blog was hoping it might receive some recognition for its coverage.

Evidently Kamasheva has done a bit more than a few “Tweets” and a couple of blogs at his 15th successive tournament.

Anyway, here are NMTB’s (unappreciated) details of what’s been going on in Moscow this week.

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CIS: Moscow

2010-01-18T16:00:00Z

For things to avoid in Moscow it’s right up there with a stint in the Lubyanka, but NMTB previewed the CIS Cup last week, so may as well try and generate a modicum of interest in the competition by informing you as to its progress.

NMTB, Fri Jan 15: A not-so-happy 18th birthday for the CIS Cup

Three days into the tournament and each team has already got two group games under their belt, which perhaps demonstrates why the CIS Cup is so unpopular – the entire programme is crammed into nine days.

That’s some feat for the finalists, who will play six matches in that period.

Oh, and check out this rather tasty goal by Bunyodkor’s Bahodir Nasimov.

Note lack of crowd and school gym-like arena. (And goose-stepping subs - Ed.)

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A not-so-happy 18th birthday for the CIS Cup

2010-01-15T20:00:00Z

*THUD!*

As you perhaps may not have ascertained from NMTB’s rather puerile attempt at conveying sound via the medium of the written word, that “noise” was in fact the final nail being driven into the coffin of this month’s CIS Cup, struck with a Thor-like swing by Vardan Minasyan wielding his Pyunik Yerevan-shaped Mjöllnir.

(Bravo, by the way, if you did determine all that from “thud”).

The CIS Cup has limped from one crisis to the next in recent times and NMTB just hopes now the Football Union of Russia puts everyone out of their misery.

Come on, you’ve had 17 years, that’s not a bad run.

The tournament is a broken-legged racehorse that nobody’s got the heart to shoot; it’s a terminally ill patient who can’t afford a flight to Switzerland; it’s Victoria Beckham’s “career.”

Shame, really, as NMTB quite likes the CIS Cup.

No, wait, NMTB quite likes the idea of the CIS Cup; the tournament itself is rubbish.

It shouldn’t be. They take the domestic champions of each former Soviet state – all 15 – and chuck them together for one big annual Moscow muck-out each January.

Except nobody cares.

Enthusiasm for the cup is drying up faster than the Aral Sea and the much-maligned competition is today about as eagerly anticipated as an appointment for colonic irrigation.

Clubs have long been blowing raspberries and sticking two fingers up at the RFU by fielding weakened teams or eschewing it altogether, and this year the Armenian champions Pyunik Yerevan have gone one step further.

They've nudged the cup towards consignment in the annals of history alongside all other things Soviet, like Lenin, five-year plans and moustachioed KGB agents sitting in hotel lobbies behind a broadsheet with a couple of eyeholes cut out of them.

They’ve dropped their pants and conducted a dirty protest all over the trophy.

How? Well, Pyunik manager Vardan Minasyan evidently can’t be bothered to go out and scout potential new players for the Bardzraguyn Khumb champions.

Instead, in a mountain-to-Mohammed situation, he has assembled a team of 21 trialists to represent the club in Moscow.

Yep, Pyunik are leaving their entire squad back in Armenia.

You can't help but feel they’ll be trying a bit too hard to impress him though, like a schoolboy performing wheelies on his bike in front of a girl he fancies.

Expect showboating, a few attempts at some mazy runs, 40-yard rockets being blazed into the crowd and cries of “look at me, boss. No... you’re not looking, come on!”

At least Pyunik are in attendance. Well, sort of.

It’s slightly awkward, withdrawing from the CIS Cup, because it’s precisely the time of year everyone knows you’ve got f**k all else on.

But that hasn’t stopped the holders Sheriff Tiraspol and their pals BATE Borisov and FK Ventspils going AWOL this month.

The trio burbled a few unconvincing lines about doing some training or something.

And as for those expecting to see Rivaldo, Denilson and Stevica Ristić turn out for Luis Felipe Scolari’s Bunyodkor, prepare to be massively disappointed (although you're going to be massively disappointed anyway if you're watching the CIS Cup): they’ve sent a reserve team to Moscow.

Big Phil et al have skipped the long-john necessitating, subzero temperatures of the Russian capital for the Speedo-inducing climes of Dubai.

Turns out they’d rather be doing this.

Bunyodkor's beach training - click here to watch

It’s all a bit like the Eurovision Song Contest, really.

When was the last time the UK wheeled out the big guns – someone like Girls Aloud, commercial tripe that’s mundane and dreary, but popular?

It’s because NO ONE CARES. Not even Victoria Beckham would touch it. Then again...

Compare this to some of the newer Eurovisionners.

Their governments assemble the nation’s pre-eminent songwriters and hold their families in a dungeon until they’ve cobbled together a suitable ditty for their No.1 pop star to belt out and promote their country on an international stage.

And they’re proud to do so. The UK just rolls out someone like Daz Sampson.

And that attitude by the old powers exists in the CIS Cup, too.

Take the last four finals:

2009 Sheriff Tiraspol (Moldova) 0-0 FK Aktobe (Kazakhstan) (5-4 on penalties)
2008 Khazar Lenkoran (Azerbaijan) 4-3 Pakhtakor Tashkent (Uzbekistan)
2007 Pakhtakor Tashkent (Uzbekistan) 0-0 FK Ventspils (Latvia) (9-8 on penalties)
2006 Neftçi Bakı (Azerbaijan) 4-2 FBK Kaunas (Lithuania)

Where are the big teams? A full-strength Dynamo Kyiv, Shakhtar Donetsk, Rubin Kazan, Zenit St Petersburg or whoever would walk this tournament.

So what’s gone wrong?

i) The RFU has never quite been sure just how to shoehorn 15 teams into a workable format, especially when they persist with an opening round comprising four groups of four.

And no, drafting in the Russian under-21 side to compete hors-concours doesn’t really solve the problem.

Ditto for inviting a “guest club” from outside of the region. That kind of defeats the object of staging a competition to find the top side of the former USSR.

ii) Winters are cold in Russia, bloody cold, so it’s understandable no one wants to play football. In fact, you can't, so games are held indoors.

And football inside a massive sports hall isn't quite the same.

iii) The RFU are a bit parsimonious and the prize money is best described as frig-all; simple bragging rights aren't sufficient anymore.

The introduction of the Channel One Cup hasn’t helped either.

iv) It has become stale by being staged in Moscow each year.

Why not rotate it? You only need two indoor arenas, and surely everyone can deal with that.

v) Political wranglings have become something of an impediment.

Georgia’s bloody nose in South Ossetia has seen them withdraw their representative (WIT-Georgia), and the Nagorno-Karabakh issue between Armenia and Azerbaijan has permeated into football.

A few years ago Pyunik defeated Shakhtar in the quarter-finals, which meant a game with Neftçi Bakı in the next round, except they didn’t fancy playing the Azeri champions, so instead buggered off back to Armenia on the next flight.

They were subsequently handed a three-year ban from the tournament, although NMTB reckons they were secretly beaming inside at not having to travel to Moscow for a while.

So just who is in this moribund competition that gets underway on tomorrow?

GROUP A:

Rubin Kazan (Russia; competition best: group stages)
Dnepr Mogilev (Belarus, group stages)
Dordoi-Dynamo Naryn (Kyrgyzstan, group stages)
Liepājas Metalurgs (Latvia, quarter-finals)

GROUP B:

Bakı Futbol Klubu (Azerbaijan, debut appearance)
HJK Helsinki (Finland, debut appearance)
FK Aktobe (Kazakhstan, runners-up)
Vakhsh Qurghonteppa (Tajikistan, group stages)

GROUP C:

Dynamo Kyiv (Ukraine, four-time winners)
HTTU Aşgabat (Turkmenistan, group stages)
Levadia Tallinn (Estonia, group stages)
Russia U21 (group stages)

GROUP D:

Bunyodkor (Uzbekistan, debut appearance)
Pyunik Yerevan (Armenia, semi-finals)
Ekranas Panevezys (Lithuania, semi-finals)
Dacis Chişinău (Moldova, debut appearance)

Nostradamus couldn’t predict a winner out of that lot.

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The 2009 FSU Awards: Beach football, Beyoncé and Joe Stalin

2010-01-07T15:30:00Z

С Новым Годом! (Happy New Year!)

NMTB doesn’t like this winter break lark the FSU’s currently got going on.

There’s a distinct lack of football, it’s far too cold AND you to have to celebrate Christmas all over again on January 7.

It’s also the time of year when some berk suggests everyone goes walrusing.

That’s not the Russian equivalent of dogging, by the way. Essentially it’s a few people getting together in the woods, stripping naked, then splashing about in an icy pool before frolicking in the snow and drinking vodka for a bit.

(Actually, that description makes it sound EXACTLY like the Russian equivalent of dogging).

"Have you seen my keys?"

So while we’re on this brief hiatus, NMTB may as well proffer you a review of the past year; it’s one way of filling the gaping void of no football the blog is staring into.

The we-don’t-give-a-toss-about-the-fans award: Megasport Depot/FK Almaty (Lokomotiv Astana), Kazakhstan

This pair of weasels from Kazakhstan’s largest city not only dropped a massive turd on their supporters by announcing in January they’d merged, but then proceeded to rub it in their faces like some giant s**t pie by moving 600 miles away to Astana.

Even with a bucketload of cash Lokomotiv failed to win the Premier League last year, so perhaps there is some justice in the world...

The Ryan Giggs I-don’t-play-in-friendlies prize: Vitalie Manaliu, Moldova

At one point it was the pinnacle of a player’s career to be selected for their national team, even if that national team was Moldova. Not anymore.

It’s slim pickings just attempting to cobble together a half-decent Moldovan squad today – any side that’s laboured to successive 0-0 draws with Luxembourg clearly has problems – so it’s no surprise some of the players have given up the ghost now.

Last summer’s friendly in Belarus failed to enthuse the fans, let alone the squad, some of whom didn’t even bother feigning injury to dodge the game.

Sergiu Laşcencov claimed he was too tired; Vitalie Bordeian didn’t offer a reason; and then there’s the Iskra-Stal Rîbniţa striker Vitalie Manaliu, who declared himself unavailable because the fixture clashed with a trip to the seaside he’d got booked.

The moron.

It wasn’t as if the FMF sprung it on him at the last moment. NMTB’s pretty sure football associations arrange these some time in advance.

The Sven-Göran Eriksson I’m-not-here-for-the-money prize: Luis Felipe Scolari, Bunyodkor

Some people will do anything for money.

A 15-year-old NMTB once hurled a Müller Fruit Corner at a teacher for £5. Yes, the blog was an absolute s**t at school, and it’s no wonder it was expelled.

Thankfully World Cup winner Luis Felipe Scolari’s not at all like that, and it’s purely altruistic reasons that took him to Uzbekistan after Chelsea.

He’s aspiring to create a lasting dynasty in Central Asia with Bunyodkor. Who wouldn’t?

Big Phil and a fellow economic migrant

That £13 million-a-year contract means nothing to him; Big Phil’d do it for nothing if he could.

The Joe Stalin best moustache award: Valery Gazzaev, Dynamo Kyiv

It’s been nigh on impossible to switch on a television lately and not see some rotund twit with a cardboard moustache belting out that infuriating ditty in that Gocompare.com advert.

Whichever failed actor it is, and let’s face it, masquerading as an opera singer for an insurance company isn't exactly how he envisaged he career panning out, has a cracking facial appendage, although it pales in comparison to FSU legend Valery Gazzaev’s.

A proper soup-strainer

Maybe there’s an alternative career for the Dynamo Kyiv manager yet…

Worst stadium opening: Astana Arena, Kazakhstan

A flight to Kazakhstan is flipping expensive. It costs about the same price as it does to get to America – and people actually want to go there - so it isn't every day England visit.

The KFF couldn’t believe it when they were drawn in Kazakhstan’s World Cup qualifying group, what with a £150m national stadium due for christening and promptly pencilled in the Three Lions’ trip to showcase their 30,000-capacity behemoth to the world.

Shame nobody told the builders.

The Astana Arena experienced more delays than a Virgin Trains service and was due for completion well ahead of the Premier League’s season-opener way back in March, let alone England’s visit in June.

NMTB can only speculate what caused the hold-up that resulted in Fabio Capello’s team playing in Almaty, although the blog surmises it’s something to do with all those frivolous extras the stadium boasts, like that ridiculous helicopter landing pad for example.

Couldn’t they have just painted a massive yellow “H” in the car park?

How often is it going to get used, anyway?

"Will that do?"

But even with Wayne Rooney et al out of the picture, surely ultra-ambitious president Nursultan Nazarbayev had another A-lister up his sleeve?

After all, he has aspirations of his new capital becoming Asia’s finest city.

Except Nazarbayev didn’t. Plan B was a meaningless friendly between Lokomotiv Astana and the Kazakh under-21 side that had everyone thoroughly underwhelmed, including Pierluigi Collina who was brought in – possibly by helicopter – to officiate it and add an ounce of glitz to the occasion.

Conversely, to inaugurate the Donbass Arena in August, Shakhtar Donetsk managed to entice Beyoncé to prance about in a skimpy outfit...

The it-could-only-happen-in-Moldova prize: beach football takes off

Quite how, where and why beach football has taken off in landlocked Moldova amazes NMTB; they haven’t yet mastered ordinary football.

They’ve even formed the Moldovan Beach Football Federation.

That trumps even Olimpia Bălţi’s recent antics of launching a chimerical auction to win a place in the starting XI for one of the club’s European fixtures which may, or may not, be an elaborate PR stunt.

"That'll do"

They once attempted an Ebbsfleet United-style fans’ ownership of the club (which also died on its *rse), so it’s not the first time they’ve tried something like this.

Even if it is a PR stunt, has anyone actually benefited from the modicum of interest it’s generated?

All that’s been achieved is an absolute hammering in the media, especially from Russia.

The X Factor we’ll-drag-this-out-for-as-long-as-we-can award: Kyrgyzstan’s Vysshaja Liga

NMTB would love to know which idiot dreamt up the new format for the Vysshaja Liga, and just how he managed to convince the FFKR it was a good idea.

What’s wrong with just playing each other home and away? That’s the accepted model pretty much the world over. And it works.

But some twerp reckons that to prove yourself a worthy champion in Kyrgyzstan you must go beyond that, and recommended to the FFKR that the top four – and there’s only nine in the entire division – should contest a mini-league upon completion of the regular season to decide where the title’s heading.

So after 16 games the quartet again faced each other twice.

But even that didn’t settle anything because Dordoi-Dynamo Naryn and Abdish-Ata Kant both finished the group level on points and goal difference, resulting in the FFKR hastily arranging ANOTHER play-off to resolve the championship.

Dordoi-Dynamo won that. As they had the original league – unbeaten and by eight points – making it all an incredibly pointless endeavour.

A bit like the Vysshaja Liga, really.

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Ringmaster Platini’s Euro 2012 circus arrives in Kyiv

2009-12-27T10:00:00Z

NMTB has a litany of grievances vis-à-vis the unveiling of the official Euro 2012 logo and slogan(!) in Kyiv.

Was it absolutely necessary for that simpering moron Michel Platini to host a chimps' tea party laden with weighty formalities in sub-zero conditions solely for the purpose of unravelling a giant piece of plastic?

Does anyone really care?

NMTB just hopes the Frenchman caught a cold.

What’s next, the unveiling of the tournament’s official toilet paper?

Come on, UEFA, we’re waiting.

Amidst all the pomp and bullsh*t that goes hand-in-hand with these ceremonies, what Platini gawkily revealed in Ploshcha Mykhaylivska was a bit flowery and namby-pamby for NMTB’s liking and far too incongruous with the ultra-masculine Ukrainian and Polish psyche.

Slavic males are hardly renowned for getting in touch with their feminine sides; simply ordering a small beer is liable for social ostracism.

Regardless of its floral qualities, no doubt this horrific emblem will be promptly seized upon by the wily traders whose stalls line the winding street of Desiatynna Andriyivsky Uzviz up to Andriyivska Tserkva, and subsequently become plastered across a myriad of bootleg merchandise that is probably already being manufactured as you read this.

Whatever it appears on, NMTB just hopes that it’s of superior quality to the Andriy Shevchenko underpants it bought a couple of years ago.

Poor stitching limited them to just two days usage, much to the delight of its girlfriend who found there to be something aberrant about having the revered forward’s face on the blog’s crotch.

As they so often do, the occasion dragged on and on and on unremittingly, like a series of The X-Factor.

That’s why NMTB enjoys FA Cup draws: no fannying around, they get straight to the point.

The balls are pulled out of a hat by a couple of ex-footballers; cut to some whooping simpletons from a non-league outfit in their dressing room who have landed the plumb tie of the round; and finish.

Bang, bang, bang. Five minutes and we’re back in the studio with housewives’ favourite Gary Lineker.

Thankfully UEFA took note of big brother FIFA’s recent World Cup draw in wheeling out the svelte beauty Charlize Theron to liven up the dour event that could have been condensed into about 20 minutes, had it not been continually punctured by sneering celebrities who were shepherded out to grin and wave for a bit, before legging it with an exorbitant pay cheque.

It certainly wasn’t Platini’s idea, but NMTB commends the bloke – and let’s face it, it was a bloke – who decided to present viewers with the ocular delights of the rather lovely Ukrainian prime minister Yulia Tymoshenko to preside over the futile ceremony.

She would arouse political interest in even the most gormless twit who couldn’t find their *rse with both hands.

Shame there’s no British equivalent.

For the record, the floral nonsense is based upon wycinanka, a traditional paper cutting art common to both nations, not that that excuses it any way.

It’s hardly what this landmark tournament needs to kick it off; what are they going to use for the mascot, an origami swan?

And just what function does an “official slogan” serve?

NMTB can’t recall one from any previous competitions and “Creating History Together” isn’t one that’s likely to buck the trend, no matter how much it’s rammed down our throats in the next couple of years.

The blog wants to have a quiet word with the twerps at whatever advertising agency dreamt up this disaster, although it hazards a guess that Saatchi and Saatchi probably aren’t culpable, and more than likely it’s some Ukrainian or Polish schoolkid who won a competition.

Ploshcha Mykhaylivska was an appropriately bad choice of venue for Platini and his cronies to proudly unveil this rubbish.

It’s hardly the most prominent of locations in Kyiv, but just a stone’s throw away sits the equine statue of Bogdan Khmelnytsky, the Ukrainian chappie who drove the tournament’s co-hosts Poland out of the country during the 17th-century Cossack Rebellion.

Slap bang in the centre of the capital, Maidan Nezalezhnosti, a symbol of an independent Ukraine and where in excess of one million people gathered almost exactly five years ago, would have been a far better choice.

The only offensive thing there is the Mr Snack cafe in the adjacent metro station.

And what with the resplendent statue of Beregynia, the protectress of Slavs towering over it, the green plaza where Ukraine declared its independence in 1991 would have offered something of cultural relevance to both of the co-hosts.

Although Maidan Nezalezhnosti will be utilised by the organisers in the build-up to Euro 2012.

Some cretin has opted to beam the horrific logo across a famous monument in each of the eight host cities and, in keeping in line with the train crash that was this unveiling, their choice for Kyiv is a horrible blot on the landscape scheduled for being torn down in the near future.

The monstrous Hotel Ukraine sits like some diseased concrete recumbent lion in Maidan Nezalezhnosti and is a wonderful example of the Stalinist architecture the government is looking to rid the city of.

It doesn’t bode well for a tournament already dogged by problems, so let’s hope the football’s up to scratch…

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Become a football star... in Moldova

2009-12-23T10:00:00Z

There’s bringing a competition into disrepute and then there’s downright taking the p**s.

Mick McCarthy damaged the “international credibility of the Premier League” last week by fielding a second-string Wolves team at Old Trafford, or so said perennial whinger Arsene Wenger.

Just don’t tell him what’s stirring in the northern Moldovan city of Bălţi with Divizia Naţională outfit Olimpia, he’ll probably have an aneurysm or something.

Last time NMTB attended a Divizia Naţională game it cost 20 lei – that’s about a pound.

It sounds good value for the top-flight of a European country, until you see what utter, utter tripe is on show.

It’s hardly the most lucrative league on the continent.

In fact, NMTB can't actually recall it being shown live on television in Moldova.

The English Premier League, Romania’s Liga 1 and Russia’s Premier-Liga are all broadcast, but not the Divizia Naţională, which is reserved solely as an end-of-the-news piece, a bit like one of those Trevor McDonald “and finally” stories about some berk in India running a marathon with two frozen chickens under his arms.

However, Olimpia Bălţi’s quest for fame and fortune this Christmas is likely to ruffle a few feathers.

Through an online auction, the misguided fools believe they are presenting one football-mad fan with the opportunity of a lifetime.

They are offering one berk with more money than sense the opportunity to join Mykhailo Dunets’ side as a player for a European tie.

Yep, the winner of their auction will play for the club in the Champions League or Europa League next year, in a competition they are calling "Become a Football Star in a Moment!"

According to a press release: “FC Olimpia is ready to make the dream of a single person out of six and a half billion living on this planet to come true.

"The club is ready to make out of this person a football star, regardless his age, job or hobbies, within a very short period - just a few days.”

Why doesn’t every club do this, it’s brilliant!!! Michel Platini will love this!!!

The team believes they are pioneering a new concept in the game, namely “football tourism,” or, as others would describe it, “s**t-idea-never-to-take-off-the-ground tourism.”

NMTB was wondering why anyone – ANYONE – would want to visit Bălţi.

The blog did once, in spite of its guidebook giving it a less-than-glowing review:

“Bălţi (balts, from the Romanian word for ‘swamp’), 150km north of Chişinău, is Moldova's fourth-largest city, with a population of 143,630. A major industrial and mafia-influenced area, and predominantly Russian-speaking, it has little to offer beyond being a convenient stopover en route to Ukraine.”

This is the best bit

But the competition isn't open to anyone. Oh no.

You must be a “healthy man between the age of 18 and 60” (sorry mum, it’s oven gloves again for you this year).

The club are obviously i) skint and ii) absolutely clueless about the value of money in the Western world, where this ludicrous competition is evidently aimed.

To be eligible to make a bid, the moron who wants to compete in a pointless qualifying round against a team of butchers, bakers and candlestick makers from Andorra or the Faroe Islands must first submit the princely sum of €300, about 260 quid, for a “registration” fee.

Ready to part with that?

Right, the next step is to place your bid which, according to the club from Europe’s poorest country, “will cost you very little money, from 10,000 to a million Euros.”

Is that all? That’s literally short change for most people. NMTB’s going to enter. Twice, probably.

(In case you're wondering, the average monthly wage in Moldova is about £70.)

A minimum bid of €10,000 (almost £9,000) is required once you’re in the auction, although the first person to weigh in with a fee one hundred times that, yes, that’s nearly £900,000, will automatically win, and fulfil their dream of playing for Olimpia Bălţi.

The club aren’t worth that.

Don’t worry if you’ve not got that in your bank account just yet, because the competition runs until March, so that’s plenty of time to scrape a few quid together.

And so confident are the team that some idiot will part with such a ludicrous amount of money, they believe this will generate hitherto unheard of interest in the Divizia Naţională, and for you, that lucky chap who wins the auction:

“The next day after signing the contract this person will become famous all over the world! Mass-media will be focused just on him: articles in newspapers, news on TV, all the internet will be talking about him.

"For a while he will become more popular than such football stars as Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Ronaldinho.”

Or so says its chimerical vice-president Serghei Chiseliov.

Oh, and there is one small stumbling block to this ridiculous plan: Olimpia are fourth in the Divizia Naţională, one position and 13 points off third place and qualification for a Europa League spot, and miles behind Sheriff Tiraspol atop the table.

Granted, they're still in the Cupa Moldovei, but then so are Sheriff, and they’ll have to beat them at some point to lift the trophy for the first time.

If you are interested, you can download the form here and p**s away your money, sorry, enter the competition.

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An anatomy of a disaster, Russian style

2009-12-11T16:00:00Z

Здравствуйте Дамы и Господа.

NMTB often has a butchers at the back pages of the tabloids to see what barbed witticisms are splashed across them the day after England put in a below par performance.

After an impressive showing at Euro 2008 there were high hopes among fans that Russia could well mount a serious challenge in South Africa next year.

So the side’s failure to overcome Slovenia last month was met with massive disappointment, and prompted an incredibly trenchant response from the country’s expectant media.

Including Pravda.

Meaning “truth” in English, the publication predates the October Revolution and was highly censored by the Kremlin during communist times; caustic editorials against the state were a strict nyet unless the editor fancied sharing a cell with Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn in Lubyanka for a few years.

So when the USSR collapsed it was akin to a pressure value being released.

Pravda quite rightly got the hump after the national team flopped against Slovenia in its recent World Cup play-off, and let rip with an incredibly acerbic attack on the players, citing their pop-star lifestyles as the reason for the defeat.

To emphasise the humiliation the piece was even accompanied by the bizarre image of a melancholic looking nun with the word “SHAME” emblazoned across her, as if that was in some way relevant to the football.

It’s a wonderful article, so NMTB is bringing you Konstantin Karpov’s astonishing rant in full.

Enjoy.

Russia’s World Cup Disaster: Totally unacceptable!

“To turn against the team which played so brilliantly and made everyone so proud little over a year ago at the UEFA Championships may seem ungrateful.

"However why should soccer players not be held accountable for their performance just like every other professional in every single profession?

"In a sport there has to be a winner and a loser and for the true sportsman, the joy is playing an opponent and doing your best. However soccer is not badminton, ping-pong or tiddlywinks.

"It is a national flag carrier and its players are therefore paid millions – in fact, perversely absurd amounts of money, true insults to the efforts of working women and men across the globe who may earn less in their entire lifetime than one of these long-haired, jewellery-bedecked, spitting, illiterate and unintelligible creatures makes in a month.

"For what? Playing four times, if that.

"It can therefore be argued that a soccer player, if paid that much money, is accountable for his performance just like any other professional in any other profession.

"Managers are fired if they under-perform. Teachers are sacked if they don’t get results. Journalists are dismissed for pieces which do not live up to the newspaper’s reputation.

"But not soccer players, for some reason. They still earn the same millions. They continue to drive their Ferraris, to buy expensive jewellery for the latest female to make a living out of hanging on to their arm or 'performing' in their mansions and luxury penthouse pads.

"The Russian national soccer team is no exception and fails miserably time and time again, with rare exceptions, to live up to the expectations of millions of hard-working women and men.

"Yesterday’s performance was a national disgrace, not just because the team which was 12th in the FIFA ranking (Russia) was soundly beaten, over two games, by the team in 49th position (Slovenia) but because two players were sent off – Kerzhakov for kicking at the Slovenian goalkeeper, before putting on a cowardly performance of amateur dramatics, rolling up in a foetal position and Zhirkov, for stupidity, playing around on the touchline like a 10-year-old instead of behaving like the high-level professional he pretends to be.

"The technical capacity of Russia’s boys was visible to all in the 3-1 defeat of Holland in the UEFA finals last year. That was perhaps one of the most brilliant soccer performances ever witnessed in the history of the game.

"Yesterday’s game saw not even a shadow of that team being humiliated by a national side 37 places below it in the FIFA ranking. And why?

"Because the players, collectively and as a team, are not fit to wear their shirts. Because to wear that shirt, you eat the grass.

"To wear that shirt, you feel the glory of Mother Russia, you feel the immenseness of Russia’s steppe, you hear the magnitude of Russia’s music, you sense the greatness and nobility of its tremendous culture which has defeated the most evil hordes history has known at a terrible sacrifice.

"To wear that shirt, you raise your head, you raise your game. To wear that shirt, you breathe fire and fury. To wear that shirt, you run, you sweat, you bleed. You give your heart, your soul, your all.

"Yesterday Russia’s boys did not eat the grass. They did not feel the weight of their shirt and they did not feel the honour of representing their country, because they were more concerned with not getting injured, playing at half-steam because they give more importance to their clubs than their country.

"Yesterday was not Russia playing. It was Everton, Chelsea and Arsenal.

"There are far, far, far more Russian boys out there who would represent their country with pride and for free. And who would defeat Slovenia over two games any day.

"Guus Hiddink must be very, very disappointed with them because they neither played with their hearts, nor with their heads.

"One can only hope that Hiddink stays and next time fields football players and not the overpaid prima donnas climbing out of their golden Bentleys dripping with gold making a mockery out of the working citizens who pay their absurd wages.

"If they had an iota of shame in them, they would retire. Now!”

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Why South Africa is a Soviet-free zone

2009-12-08T13:00:00Z

Never mind the Irish; why is there no FSU (former Soviet Union) team heading to South Africa next summer?

Attempting to watch football on holiday for men takes on one of two uncomfortable forms:

i) Either perched awkwardly on the edge of the bed in their hotel rooms ploughing through countless channels of foreign tripe for ESPN while their girlfriends are in the shower washing their hair.

ii) Or sat transfixed by the television screen in a spit-and-sawdust bar next to their increasingly disgruntled missus who is muttering some drivel about who their friend Rachel is sleeping with that week.

Greetings from Cambodia, where NMTB is currently residing; a baffling country devoid of pavements, points of interest and public transport, and where confused and misunderstood loners from America can fuel their fantasies of going mental in a high school with a gun by firing a rocket launcher at a cow on scrubby wasteland for a couple of hundred quid. It brings a whole new meaning to the Killing Fields.

"Please don't"

NMTB was in Phnom Penh's aptly named Magic Sponge Bar for the World Cup play-offs (much to the chagrin of a girlfriend drowned out by the booming commentary), witnessing Russia and its little brother Ukraine put in two abysmal performances.

No, really abysmal.

So abysmal that the blog almost wished it was being subjected to the endless reel of Mr Bean videos that plague the television sets of Cambodian buses like some brutal form of Geneva Convention-dodging, Guantanamo Bay-trumping torture.

If the blog ever hears that exasperating, pietistic theme tune again, it is liable to track down Rowan Atkinson and throttle him to death.

The pair’s dismal 1-0 reverses to Slovenia and Greece respectively means that there’ll be no representative from the FSU flying the hammer and sickle in South Africa.

The communist baton has been passed to the hubris-stricken North Koreans.

Obviously NMTB never expected, or wanted, all 15 FSU nations to qualify: that would make for a rather odd and, let’s face it, frankly sh*t tournament of poor-quality football and vodka-swigging, bare-chested bruisers staggering around the streets of Durban.

But it would have been nice to have one, just one, in Africa, providing the blog with some work during the summer when it’s sat on the beach in Sochi.

Although it may well alter its destination, because any resort twinned with Cheltenham is bound to be as much fun as spending the day on a Cambodian bus witnessing Mr Bean attempting to get dressed while driving a lime green Mini down the motorway.

Yes, after a 10-hour journey from Stung Treng to Phnom Penh, the blog has every single episode indelibly etched onto its brain.

Mr Bean: " "

Being a sister city of a dreary town in England seems to be à la mode for FSU beach resorts.

A couple of years ago NMTB was dragged to Yalta - twinned with Margate - and stumbled across a bizarre “love machine” which invited users to gyrate their pelvises against a mannequin’s *rse while grasping two metal handles for extra thrust.

All in the vain hope of proving to their vacuous chums that they boast the sexual prowess of Genghis Khan.

The Love Machine. Nurse! The screens!

Moving very swiftly back on topic, how many of the FSU teams might have even contemplated scouring the internet for rooms in South Africa’s sparkling new opulent, post-World-Cup-white-elephant hotels?

Realistically, the only likely candidates were Russia and Ukraine – and, if NMTB breaks character and becomes as optimistic as a Stalinist five-year plan, Uzbekistan, who might sneak through the Asian qualification process.

And that isn’t a huge surprise when you consider that these countries have only been competing independently for 17 years, and before that they were one big, happy (highly centralised) state, and the game is still in its infancy in some respects.

So what went wrong with Russia?

A resurgent football scene, a clutch of decent players, a world-class manager... yet over the two legs they put in a couple of performances so limp and lifeless against Slovenia that it appeared as if Guus Hiddink has slipped the lads some of what the tuk-tuk drivers in Phnom Penh try to flog to the tourists.

There isn’t anything inherently wrong with Russian football – it’s indubitably in its healthiest state for some time – and NMTB never thought it would say this, but the Dutchman was simply outwitted tactically by Matjaž Kek.

The blog nearly fell off its barstool during the first leg when Diniyar Bilyaletdinov turned adroitly to score his second goal, prompting the monotonous Cambodian commentator to break from his Khmer ramblings to cry “eat my goal!” at the top of his voice.

But from then on, Hiddink seemed content with what he had and it was no surprise that Slovenia pulled one back.

Once again Roman Pavlyuchenko has pipped Peter Crouch to the “Least Talented Lanky Forward” prize and Hiddink perhaps should have looked to someone else to lead the line in Maribor.

NMTB honestly wouldn’t be shocked if he moved on from Tottenham next month: one forward line isn't big enough for both of them.

Pavlyuchenko: Bad touch for a big man

As for Ukraine, it is the end of an era. For many of Oleksiy Mykhaylychenko’s squad it was their last chance to reach a World Cup, and by 2014 most of them will have retired from international football.

Of the squad who played Greece, half of them will be in their thirties by the next finals. Andriy Shevchenko will be 38, Oleksandr Shovkovskiy 39 and Andriy Voronin will surely be too old for a ponytail, lest he looks like some kind of Ukrainian Francis Rossi.

Greece managed to stifle Ukraine home and away, but credit to Mykhaylychenko for fielding a front three in the second leg, even if he did inexplicably put Shevchenko on the right-hand side rather than in the centre where he would have been more effective.

Mykhaylychenko can take solace in the fact that at least the likes of Artem Kravets, Dmytro Chygrynskiy, Artem Milevskiy and Oleksandr Aliyev will have matured by the time the European Championships come round in 2012.

And it’s in Ukraine, so the FSU will have least one representative at that tournament.

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Meet the Stans: An A-Z of Central Asia

2009-10-25T08:00:00Z

This week Never Mind the Bolsheviks wants to introduce you to a quintet of enigmatic brothers who reside far away in Central Asia.

They are a rather peculiar bunch of siblings, the 'Stans.

The biggest has left for Europe, leaving the other four behind, but all five remain firmly ensconced in the football wilderness, so NMTB invites you to meet the 'Stans, in an A-Z kind of way.

(That's Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan, and if you didn't know that, then this introduction really is for you).

A is for Astana
It isn't just the English who've experienced problems in the construction of a new stadium in their capital. The ribbon on Kazakhstan's Astana Central Stadium was scheduled for cutting long before the new season began back in March, and it was somewhat ironic that work on the country's 30,000-capacity behemoth was still to be completed when Fabio Capello's boys visited the country in June. And you thought that Eastern European builders were supposed to be more efficient than Brits...

B is for Bunyodkor
You've already been introduced to this Uzbekistani superclub, bossed by Big Phil Scolari (that's a bonus 'B'). They have a pretty much unblemished record this season and up front they have Rivaldo, who is about as old as Methuselah yet scoring for fun in the Oliy League – probably because the rest of the division is rubbish.

C is for CIS Cup
None of the big teams really give a toss about the annual get-together for the champions of each of the former Soviet Union countries, which is perhaps why Central Asian clubs have been doing rather well in it of late. Aktobe of Kazakhstan were runners-up this year, and NMTB reckons that the aforementioned Bunyodkor are favourites this January.

D is for Dushanbe
Name changes are almost endemic in Central Asia. They usually come about due to a sponsorship deal, but there may have been a different reason that Tajikistan's Dinamo Dushanbe changed from Dinamo Stalinabad.

E is for Europe
When the Soviet Union collapsed, Lennart Johansson offered all of the Central Asian states the opportunity to join the UEFA party and all flatly refused. In 2002 Kazakhstan became affiliated with UEFA in an attempt to improve the standard of football in the country. It hasn't worked.

F is for Futsal
Futsal is a rubbish version of football that we aren't very good at in England: we don't even limp out of its major competitions at the quarter-final stage. They're rather better at it than us in Central Asia, and Uzbekistan are the top rated 'Stan at 21st in the world.

G is for Golden Match
What's the most sensible method for selecting a champion when there are two teams level at the top of the table come the end of the season? Goal difference? Nope. Goals scored? Not a chance. In Central Asia a Golden Match is staged to decide the championship.

H is for Hurshid Luftfullayev
If you're ever participating in a pub quiz and are asked who was the top scorer in the Kyrgyz League last season, fear not. Hurshid Luftfullayev of Abdish-Ata is the answer. And for a bonus point, he scored an unimpressive 13 times.

I is for internationals
There's a bit of rivalry between the 'Stans at everything; they even boo their brothers' competitors on the Central Asian version of X Factor. At international level Uzbekistan currently have the bragging rights as the number one 'Stan, who are the highest FIFA-ranking team at number 85 in the world.

J is for juice companies
They seldom buy football clubs in England, although we hear the man from Del Monte was hours away from buying Everton in the late-90s. However, perhaps their absence is a good thing when they bestow teams stupid names like Happy Day Juice Kant (Kyrgyzstan). It's hardly a surprise that they went bust: not even the most diehard of supporters would have that tattooed on their arms.

K is for Kairat Almaty
These Kazakhstanis were the most successful Central Asian side during Soviet times, having spent 26 seasons in the national leagues of the USSR football pyramid, although they went bankrupt this year. And the old ones always say wistfully that things were better under the communists...

L is for Lokomotiv Astana
NMTB is staying in Kazakhstan with another old friend – the country's new super club were formed this year following a merger between Megasport Depot (seriously) and the more sensibly named FC Almaty, and were promptly whisked away by their sponsors Temir Zholy to the capital Astana. This means that, for the first time since independence, Kazakhstan's largest city is without a top-flight team.

M is for mankinis
They don't wear them in Central Asia. Ever. You will probably only see one on a burning effigy of Sacha Baron Cohen somewhere in Kazakhstan.

N is for Nebtci Backanabat
This Turkmenistani team have been ever-present in the top flight since independence, and won the league and cup double in 2004. Bet you didn't know that.

O is for Olympics
The world's greatest sporting event hasn't yet reached Turkmenistan, nor is it likely to in the near distant future, but just in case it does the government have built the 30,000-capacity Olympic Stadium in Ashgabat just in case it does. Work is currently underway to double its capacity, so maybe they know something we don't. Ashgabat 2024, anyone?

P is President's Cup
The late, great and madcap dictator, sorry president, of Turkmenistan, Turkmenbashi, enacted some truly bonkers laws during his tenure, including banning all newsreaders from wearing makeup after an embarrassing mix-up that's best left uninvestigated. He did love his football, thought, bless him, and he formed the President's Cup in 1994 in attempt to lure the best clubs to the country. With the dismal prize money on offer, it's never really going to rival the Champions League, especially when it's mostly teams from Central Asia, the Middle East and Eastern Europe competing.

Q is for Qizilqum Zarafshon
An A-Z is always decidedly difficult with letters like 'q', so don't complain that Qizilqum Zarafshon are nothing but a midtable Oliy League team in Uzbekistan.

R is for Regar Tadaz
Tursunzoda Tajikstan's most successful team, they have won the First Division seven times since independence. Make them your second team, go on.

S is for Shatskikh
Maxim Shatskikh is Uzbekistan's most famous export (well, can you name another?). He plied his trade in Ukraine with Dynamo Kyiv for years and departed this year for Lokomotiv Astana in Kazakhstan, having scored 99 times in the Perscha-Liga for the Bilo-Syni.

T is for Taskhent
Pakhtakor Taskhent are an Uzkbekistani team with a tragic past. In 1979 an aeroplane carrying the team was involved in a mid-air collision, and 17 players and staff were among the 150 people who died in the terrible accident.

U is for Uzbekistan (of course)
Will Uzbekistan follow its big brother Kazakhstan and leave Europe for Asia? Probably, eventually. They nearly did during the previous World Cup qualifying campaign when a match against Bahrain was ordered to be replayed in light of a refereeing error. Uzbekistan subsequently lost and threw a hissy fit, threatening to join UEFA, and with the government eager to promote the country via Bunyodkor, it could well happen sooner rather than later.

V is for Vakhsh Qurghonteppa
Much like Qs in Britain (not the polite post-office variety), hardly anything begins with a 'v' in Central Asia. NMTB knows a lady called Vicky who lives in Astana, but she's nothing to do with football, so instead meet Tajikstan's Vakhsh Qurghonteppa, whom it can offer you very little information on.

W is for women
They have women in Central Asia and sometimes they play football, too. Again, Uzkbekistan are the highest-ranking team in the region, at 47th in the world. Turkemenistan have a nascent women's game: Kopetdag recently won the league and a tournament in which the 13-year-old Merjen Ilbashieva impressed the crowds with her skills, and whom you can impress your friends with by namedropping down your local. Actually, perhaps you probably shouldn't have conversations with your friends about 13-year-old girls...

X is for Xorazm Urganch
Never let it be said that we're just filling space with these difficult letters. There's a team called Xorazm Urganch from Uzbekistan who begin with an 'x', but they aren't very interesting.

Y is for Yokary League
The Turkmenistani league doesn't receive any coverage in the UK, so here's a shameless plug to promote it and convert you all. It has nine teams, one of them is called Mary, and, errrr, that's about it. Converted? Didn't think so.

Z is for Zhastyk Ak Altyn Karasuu
Kyrgyzstan's, no, the world's unluckiest team. They've reached seven of the past eight Kyrgyz Cup Finals... and lost the lot. The other? They were booted out of the competition at the semi final stage following an almighty ding-dong on the pitch which resulted in them being expelled, possibly because they players had had enough of losing and wanted to watch the Cup Final on the telly that year for a change.

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The Soviet Septuplets: Europa League Hopefuls

2009-09-17T07:00:00Z

Hello again from the other side of the Iron Curtain.

The observant will recall that a couple of days ago NMTB brought you a run-down of the three Former Soviet Union entrants to the Champions League group stages; now it's time for the entrants to what used to be the UEFA Cup...

September 15: The Soviet Septuplets – Champions League Challengers

VENTSPILS (LATVIA)
Europa League Group D – Sporting (Lisbon), Heerenveen, Hertha Berlin

Like the other three Europa League representatives of the Motherland, Ventspils dropped out of the Champions League qualifying stages to get there.

The Latvian title-holders have won the last three Virsliga trophies, but have remained largely anonymous in Europe until they defeated BATE Borisov earlier this season, perhaps demonstrating that they won’t be pushovers any more.

Since that famous victory in late July, they've installed the Italian Nunzio Zavettieri as their new manager.

He will preside over a multinational crop of players, and a lot may depend on how quickly he gets them playing the way he wants them to.

NMTB isn’t predicting any more shocks for them, and Zavettieri will probably just be content for them to go out there and do themselves justice.

SHERIFF TIRASPOL, MOLDOVA*
Europa League Group H – Steaua Bucuresti, Fenerbahce, Twente Enschede
*or Transdniestr, depending on your allegiances

An old friend (or foe) of the blog is making its inaugural appearance in the group stages of a major European competition, and NMTB will be keen to see how the side from the breakaway republic of Transdniestr fare.

May 5: A powerful Sheriff, a haircut & a drunken war

The blog has had the misfortune to have attended several Moldovan league matches and it's always terribly difficult to ascertain just how good, or bad, Sheriff are, what with the dire standard of the Divisia Nationala that they have won for the last nine seasons with relative ease.

The Europa League will provide all concerned with the perfect gauge by which to judge them.

The propaganda war with "neighbouring" Moldova is an intensely fierce one, and the blog is under no illusions that Sheriff’s achievements will provide the perfect fodder for the pariah state’s government as it continues its 18-year pursuit for independence.

They’ll also be extremely keen to showcase the magnificent Sheriff Stadium, where few visiting fans will have experienced such a surreal away-day.

A trip to Tiraspol is rarely straightforward – even for Moldovans, who must complete an immigration card for the delectation of corrupt officials who habitually fleece foreigners of anything up to $30 for an imaginary visa to enter and exit the schismatic state.

They might put the kybosh on that that while the eyes of the world are on them, or it could provide immigration workers with an ideal opportunity to fill their boots.

Either way, a journey to the Sheriff Stadium is certainly going to be a daunting one for away fans this season.

BATE BORISOV (BELARUS)
Europa League Group I – Benfica, Everton, AEK Athens

You may recall these chaps from last season’s Champions League.

They were the first ever representatives from Belarus (and probably the only ones for some considerable time) to reach the group stages of the competition, and didn’t give too bad an account of themselves, either, drawing twice with mighty Juventus.

NMTB once spent an enjoyable couple of weeks in Belarus (seriously), but then again it wasn’t playing European football, and Viktor Hancharentva’s side, who boast a mean defence, might just make it difficult for visiting teams if their fervent supporters get behind them.

BATE Borisov have won the last three Vysshaya Liga championships and dropped into the Europa League after enduring a dreadful Champions League campaign that promised so much after last season’s exploits.

They should be back for another crack at it next year, though, as BATE holding a commanding lead in the league table at the moment.

SHAKHTAR DONETSK (UKRAINE)
Europa League Group J – Club Brugge, Partizan (Belgrade), Toulouse

NMTB had high hopes that Shakhtar Donetsk’s triumph in the UEFA Cup last season would act as a springboard for their success in the Champions League this year.

Quite how the Ukrainians failed to overcome Romanian outfit Timisoara in the qualifiers is beyond the blog.

That loss cost them their commanding defender Dmytro Chygrynskiy, who has since defected to the West to join Barcelona in a big-money move.

That will be a considerable blow to the Miners, but they should still possess enough quality to be in the competition towards the business end of the season, in spite of having Julius Aghahowa back at the club.

They won't win the Europa League, though.

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The Soviet Septuplets: Champions League Challengers

2009-09-15T15:00:00Z

NMTB isn’t a blog that exudes a natural ebullience. Habitually it is a curious character of miserable disposition.

And there are a few things that will place it in a soporific mood, not least the incoherent ramblings of Michel Platini.

Can you recall him ever doing anything to enhance European football during his UEFA presidency?

So it was interesting to hear him talk of restructuring the continental club competitions to offer a more favourable weighting to those countries who formerly resided on the eastern side of the Iron Curtain. (It probably wasn’t his idea.)

However, the blog reverted to its usual morose mindset this week after it realised that there would be just seven representatives from the former Soviet Union competing in the group stages of the new-look Champions League and Europa League this season.

And those septuplets hail from just five of the 11 FSU countries affiliated to UEFA.

Like a corrupt KGB agent, NMTB attempted to place culpability of the "crime" firmly with Monsieur Platini, but in this instance the Frenchman is innocent.

Some teams, it seems, just aren’t very good at football.

Commiserations to Qarabag Aghdam of Azerbaijan – to whom you will be introduced in the coming weeks – after a valiant effort to reach the Europe League group stages.

Memorably beating Rosenborg of Norway, they fell to Steve McClaren’s Twente Enschede from the Netherlands in the final qualifying round.

Still, let’s face it, if you’re interested in all things Soviet you’re probably a miserable sod who stoically endures all that’s thrown at you.

And there are seven teams to meet from the region. Some you may already know, others are relatively unknown even behind the Iron Curtain.

So here’s NMTB’s guide to the Soviet Septuplets in search of European success this season, starting with the trio chasing glory in the Champions League.

CSKA MOSCOW (RUSSIA)
Champions League Group B – Manchester United, Besiktas, Wolfsburg

CSKA Moscow graced the group stages of the very first Champions League back in 1992/93, while the new post-dissolution Russian government probably hadn’t finished the gargantuan task of removing all of the hammer and sickle motifs from around the Russian capital.

After that campaign – which yielded four losses and two draws, including a final-day Ibrox stalemate which prevented Rangers going through at the expense of eventual winners Marseille – it was a dozen long seasons before they made the groups again.

This will be their fourth group-stage appearance in six years, but they've hardly made Europe quiver.

The 2004/05 campaign saw them squeezed out by Porto, well behind a rampant Chelsea; 2006/07 saw them finish three points behind Arsenal and pesky Porto again; the following term saw a humiliating one-point return from games against Inter, Fenerbahce and PSV.

So you can imagine the Muscovites' delight to be paired with Manchester United this time.

But new coach Juande Ramos (succeeding Zico but really stepping into the shoes of Valeriy Gazzaev - see below) inherits a well-organised team with a strong core of Russian internationals, and they might just ruffle a few feathers this season, they certainly aren’t there just to make up the numbers.

NMTB just wonders where the goals are going to come from.

Juande, all this will be yours

Their main protagonist, the diligent Vagner Love, is seeking solace from his personal problems in his native Brazil, and the burden will now be on his compatriot Guilherme, whom Zico brought in on loan from Dynamo Kyiv, to supply the goals.

At least with Vagner's absence ITV viewers will be spared the indignity of Clive Tyldesley blurting out "From Russia with Love!".

Although it does now mean there will be 11 players on the pitch instead of 10 whose names his blundering wingman David Pleat will continuously f**k up.

DYNAMO KYIV (UKRAINE)
Champions League Group F – Barcelona, Inter, Rubin Kazan

Ah, it seems like only last week that NMTB told you about the Perscha-Liga champions. Because it was.

Blog, September 9: Andriy Shevchenko is back

It perturbs the blog that since reaching the semis in 1999, Dynamo Kyiv have consistently underachieved in the Champions League.

After reaching the second group stage (remember that arrangement with fondness? No?) in 2000, the Bilo-Syni have gone out in the first group stage eight times in nine seasons – the exception being when they didn't even get through qualifying.

It will require a Herculean effort to correct that record this year, after being paired with Barcelona and Inter Milan.

Ever the pessimist, the blog is tipping them for another year of disappointment. However, it also predicted that their Ukrainian chums Shakhtar Donetsk would have a big say in the competition, so feel free to discredit anything you read herein.

Blog, May 12: Will it be lucky 13 for Dynamo Kyiv?

Unless new gaffer Gazzaev really likes a challenge – and he's the only man to guide an FSU team to Euro-glory, with CSKA Moscow's 2005 UEFA Cup win – perhaps the only Ukrainian pleased with the draw was Andriy Shevchenko, the returning hero who was the team's key player the last time Dynamo accomplished anything of any note in the competition.

Gazzaev and Sheva put their shirt on it

He’ll indubitably be relishing the prospect of squaring up against his erstwhile Italian rivals in the San Siro.

Not least because they are managed by his old gaffer Jose Mourinho, who never really gave Sheva a fair crack of the whip at Chelsea, and during his last outing in the Nou Camp for Dynamo he scored a hat trick during a 4-0 victory that announced his arrival to Europe.

More of the same please, Andriy.

RUBIN KAZAN (RUSSIA)
Champions League Group F – Barcelona, Inter, Dynamo Kyiv

Who?

To those who bother to watch Russian football, it was no shock that Rubin Kazan won the Premier League last season: they're top this year, too.

Upon winning the title last term, the players paraded around the stadium in Kazan in dubious golden crowns that bore an uncanny resemblance to something you’d get with a kid’s meal at Burger King – although hailing from the capital city of the Autonomous Tartar Republic, where most of the population are Muslims, means the likelihood of Whoppers all round is unlikely.

"Gold hats all round!"

Indeed, coach Kurbiyan Burdiyev – a defensive midfielder turned wheeler-dealing manager dubbed by some as a Turkmenistani Harry Redknapp – often restricts his post-match press conferences to simply saying "Glory to Allah, we won."

Makes a change from complaining about referees.

Anyway, it's an arduous journey out to Kazan in central Russia and NMTB will keep a close eye on how Rubin fare in their inaugural Champions League campaign.

One player from the Tatarsfantsi to watch out for is Alejandro Dominguez, who the blog believes will be pivotal to their chances of obtaining any degree of success this season.

Then again, you know NMTB and its predictions...

Come back soon for NMTB's lowdown on the four Europa League hopefuls

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Andriy Shevchenko is back!

2009-09-09T11:00:00Z

As a teenager banished to Kyiv by its parents, Never Mind the Bolsheviks often found itself in Shevchenko Park of a weekend, chasing women or getting into some other jolly jape.

The leafy public garden on the banks of the mighty Dnipro River doesn’t honour Andriy, it’s named in memory of another Shevchenko who endures godlike status in Ukraine – Taras, 19th-century nationalist poet whose statue broods over the capital.

Political doings in the park (NMTB not pictured)

However Andriy Shevchenko will surely be bestowed an equally grand memorial upon his retirement.

And NMTB can think of no better plan than hauling down the smug figure of Lenin who presides over the aptly-named Bulvar Shevchenko and replacing it with one of the country’s most venerated footballers.

So, yes, the great man is back for a second spell at Dynamo Kyiv, the club where he earned a reputation as one of the continent’s most prolific strikers – and he’s already back among the goals.

When the Bilo-Syni were awarded a penalty against Metalurg Donetsk a couple of weekends ago, there was only ever going to be one contender to take it, and he subsequently slotted it home to help Dynamo to a 3-1 win.

Back with a bang: Sheva scores for Kyiv

NMTB had an inkling for some time (honest) that when he began to lose his way at Chelsea it wouldn’t be too long before the blog would soon seen Sheva once again slipping on the No.7 jersey for his favourite club.

Despite having a supermodel wife (who obviously picked up enough handbags in Milan and on the King’s Road), he’s too honest and proud a fellow to check in and receive one final pay packet in the footballer’s retirement home that is the MLS.

Or, follow the money to somewhere like Bunyodkor in Uzbekistan, whom the blog introduced you to last week, and there’s no better platform to silence your critics than in the Champions League.

Certainly he has nowt to prove in Ukraine, where some fans still wear Dynamo Kyiv shirts adorned with his name – and not just the parsimonious supporters who haven’t bought a new replica kit for a decade.

He was indubitably the first celebrity in a post-Soviet Ukraine, in what was then a grim country failing miserably to adjust politically, economically and socially after years of Russian domination.

The first coming - or is it Ian Brown?

To see Shevchenko performing so adroitly among Europe’s elite brought an overwhelming sense of pride to Ukrainians and provided a fillip not only to Dynamo’s fans, but to an entire population. And that’s a lot of people (about 50-odd million back then).

But today he rejoins the Persha-Liga champions during a period of transition.

Yuri Semin – who masterminded that title triumph so adeptly with a free-flowing brand of attacking football that yielded a “goals for” tally of Barcelona proportions – has left to join the Russian club he served as player and manager, Lokomotiv Moscow.

Following him out of the exit door is Ismael Bangoura, who has made a big-money move across the Iron Curtain to continue his career at French club Stade Rennais. NMTB has no idea why, because he's certainly capable of doing a job for most teams in the Premier League.

Bangoura had an extremely productive season in front of goal and his pace and guile would have provided the perfect foil to a big and burly forward like Sheva.

But new gaffer Valeri Gazzayez, who doesn’t go by the sobriquet of “Gazza,” will now look to the club’s captain Artem Milevskiy to take up the mantle of the departing striker.

Sheva and Milevskiy (plus bonus arm) for Ukraine this month

Also leaving were the veteran pair of Maris Verpakovskis and Maksim Shatskikh, who over the last couple of years have appeared about as much for Dynamo as Shevchenko has for Chelsea and AC Milan.

They depart with a firm handshake, a painting of a spitfire (probably) and the thanks of Dynamo’s chairman Igor Surkhis, who has gladly swapped them for Shevchenko.

So it’s out with the old and in with the new, and NMTB is predicting big things for another Artem – Artem Kravets, who fluttered around the fringes of the first team last season, always looking lively and giving a good account of himself.

He’s a competent young forward who could well establish himself in the Ukrainian national squad if he stays fit.

At such a young age, he’s been unlucky enough to have suffered more international-weekend injuries than Ryan Giggs, or you’d probably be aware of him already.

But with the arrival of Sheva, he’s certain to receive some excellent tutorage, and he’ll also benefit from another old boy from those halcyon days of the '90s, when Dynamo Kyiv reached the Champions League semi-finals.

Shevchenko’s former striker partner Sergei Rebrov always appeared to play second fiddle to his close chum, in spite of accruing more goals during their Dynamo careers.

That always seemed a bit unfair to NMTB, who rather liked the chap and thought it was a tragedy that he flopped in the Premier League.

Sheva and Rebrov, last century

But now he is Sheva’s senior and is the new assistant manager at Dynamo as he begins his path into management.

And the blog reckons that even after this two-year deal for Shevchenko, it won’t be the end of his association with the club and he’ll probably cut a similar apprenticeship at Dynamo before eventually becoming the manager, although it’s always a risky business appointing a club legend as gaffer.

That is if he decides to continue in football upon his retirement.

He could (although it’s extremely unlikely) be one of those miserable ex-footballers who opens a sports bar and sits perched on the edge of the bar chirping up about his career to anyone who’ll listen.

But he’s not finished just yet, so keep an eye out for Andriy Shevchenko in the Champions League this season: he might just prove a few critics wrong.

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What Big Phil Scolari did next

2009-08-31T11:00:00Z

Never Mind the Bolsheviks is back (at last!) after its annual sojourn in the Motherland.

No, it wasn't interned in some Far Eastern gulag, but in Moldova – which, some would contest, isn't an altogether different experience. Except Chisinau does now boast a Debenhams.

Small talk over, and NMTB is here again to solve the puzzle inside a riddle wrapped in an enigma of football in the Former Soviet Union.

And for its return the blog is in Uzbekistan for a fleeting visit to discover how a former denizen of the King's Road is getting on in his new job out east in Tashkent.

It was somewhat ironic that Luiz Felipe Scolari quipped that he was a "special one" only to his wife and family upon being appointed Chelsea gaffer last summer.

What was said in jest transpired to become a startlingly accurate prediction for his tenure at the club.

Following reports of player unrest off the pitch and some truly dismal performances on it, Big Phil can't have been too surprised to receive the big heave-ho from Roman Abramovich in February this year.

But his failure to last a season in England has hardly damaged his standing in world football; after all, not even the Special One can waltz down the touchline with a World Cup winner's medal jangling under his trendy trenchcoat.

Rumours were abound earlier in the year that the 60-year-old was in line for a second spell as the coach of the Brazilian national team.

And it came as something of a surprise that Scolari followed the Silk Route from Europe to Uzbekistan to become the boss of the reigning Oliy League champions Bunyodkor.

From South America via west London to east of Europe

After another Brazilian, Zico, left for CSKA Moscow, most assumed that the side from Tashkent would make a move for a proven boss in the former USSR, or at least someone who had a decent command of Russian.

Leonid Kuchuk of Sheriff Tiraspol would have been an excellent choice for the post - he has had offers from the bigger teams before - although before leaving the Moldovans he may fancy having a crack at the Champions League group stages (they were knocked out in the qualifiers last week).

BLOG: May 5: A powerful Sheriff, a haircut and a drunken war

Now, Uzbekistan is not one of Asia's football hotbeds – even Big Phil at his most garrulous would concur with that – but NMTB reckons that it's a cracking appointment for all concerned.

Bunyodkor are on the verge of creating something big, something akin to the dynasty that Abramovich hankered after when he began ploughing large dollops of roubles into Chelsea a few years ago, and are one of the up-and-coming sides in Asia that will begin making headlines soon enough.

"Whites wash cleaner with Gaz"

As is the custom in the region, they have a crap name: Bunyodkor means "creator" in English.

And following a second tradition, they've already undergone a name change, even though they were only founded in 2005. They first went under the equally poor name of Kuruvchi, which translates as "builder" - still, it beats Traktor Tashkent.

BLOG: May 19: Named and shamed – the 10 worst club names in the USSR

"Murky" would perhaps be the best word to describe the ownership of a side that has irrevocably transformed the landscape of Uzbek football, with the gas and oil magnate Zeromax sponsoring the club.

Although the word on the street is that the real power behind the club is Gulnarna Karimova, the daughter of the president. No one is quite sure, and the subject is a moot point in Uzbekistan.

Bunyodkor may actually ring a bell with you (it's hardly a name you're likely to forget) after they announced their arrival on the world stage last year when the hitherto unknown entity declared that a deal for Samuel Eto'o was close to being finalised; although it fell through, it was no publicity stunt.

The deal was a sign of their intent and of their ambition, and of the unbridled spending power Bunyodkor have in Asia.

It's hardly a surprise that they reached the semi-finals of the Asian Champions League at their first attempt.

Eto'o, a couple of his Barça chums and even Cesc Fabregas joined the lads' holiday to have a look around in the summer – and probably enjoyed what they saw.

Tashkent is lovely at that time of year. It certainly beats Benidorm, or wherever the Cameroonian takes his summer holidays.

"Where's the beach?"

Barcelona and the Uzbeks share a close relationship, which is somewhat surprising considering the Spanish side's connections with UNICEF.

Uzbekistan's human rights record is, to put in mildly, chequered: NMTB has spoken firsthand with a survivor of the 2005 Andijan massacre who was forced to flee the country, and his harrowing account is not for the fainthearted.

Maybe Big Phil didn't know what he was letting himself in for when he signed up for this project.

But he won't be lonely in the Uzbek capital, and he has a quartet of talented Brazilians who have been firing them up the Oily League – including Bunyodkor's "Plan B" after the Eto'o deal collapsed, Rivaldo, who signed on a staggeringly lucrative contract, despite being so far into the autumn of his career that he can expect trick-or-treaters any time soon.

Still, it's paid off: he has been banging them in for fun since arriving last year.

It's a surprise that they didn't plump for Maxim Shatskikh, the legendary Uzbek forward who had an unerring propensity to put the ball in the back of the net in Ukraine with Dynamo Kyiv until joining another new Central Asian "super club" whom we met a while ago: Lokomotiv Astana.

BLOG: June 2: Kazakhstan's MK Dons stuck in the sidings

Shatskikh or no, Big Phil has had a near-perfect start to life in Uzbekistan: after 20 games of the new season Bunyodkor have won the lot, sitting pretty at the top of the table with an impressive 60 points.

The only blot on his copybook was a defeat in the recent Uzbek Cup Final.

"Sorry, who's this?"

A $150 million, 35,000-seater stadium is also in the pipeline for the club that have already outgrown Uzbekistan, and now they have the Asian Champions League in their sights.

NMTB would even go so far as to say that before too long Uzbekistan could well decamp from the Asian Football Association to UEFA (as neighbouring Kazakhstan did in 2002) to satisfy the demands of the club and to garner more publicity for them and the country.

So keep an eye out for the "Creators" or "Builders" or whatever the thesaurus throws up for its owners (whoever they are) – they could be on the verge of something big.

You can follow them on their impeccable trilingual official website, or track their progress on their Wikipedia page – which, let's face it, is more English-perfect than those of most English Premier League clubs, what with the twerps who update it...

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Kazakhstan’s MK Dons stuck in the sidings

2009-06-02T14:00:00Z

Flying can evoke painful memories.

Waking up at an ungodly hour to drive to Luton Airport for family holidays in Benidorm. Departure lounges ruled by rampant kids wielding beeping Game Boys. Disingenuously smiling stewardesses issuing plastic meals. Mobs of vacuous northern lads hoovering lager.

Good luck if you're taking the eight-hour flight for England's World Cup qualifier in Almaty – a 7,000-mile round-trip.

Being a blog of class, NMTB prefers to travel by train – which would no doubt be met with approval from Lokomotiv Astana, Kazakhstan’s answer to the MK Dons.

Not a very good answer, mind.

The Kazakh Premier League – unsurprisingly not quite as lucrative as its English counterpart – has undergone a period of austerity during the global recession. Three clubs withdrew before the new season started in March.

"Go to Moscow. Then it's just as far again"

One of them was FK Almaty, who, probably based on the flawed notion that some football is better than no football, announced in January a merger with their woefully-named local rivals Megasport Depot (whom we met the other week as one of the worst-named clubs) to form Lokomotiv.

The club are sponsored by Temir Zholy, the state-owned railway company, and as part of the deal they went 600 miles to the capital Astana looking for fame and fortune, like some Kazakh Dick Whittington.

Except Lokomotiv weren’t accompanied by a cat. (They’re not allowed on trains).

Lokomotiv are emblematic of modern-day Kazakhstan, certainly more so than that odious, mankini-clad character Borat, whose hackneyed phrases will no doubt litter the newspapers this week.

It was 12 years ago that the vaulting aspirations of the country’s president, Nursultan Nazarbayev, prompted him to up sticks and transport Kazakhstan’s capital from Almaty to Astana via scores of trains in a Herculean effort to create Central Asia’s pre-eminent city.

Lokomotiv are hoping their similar one-way ticket will terminate in them becoming Kazakhstan’s top football club. They want to emulate the success of Nazabayev’s creation; his (new) capital is a spectacular city.

Sadly for Lokomotiv, railway backers Temir Zholy won’t cough up the same amount as that ploughed into sprucing up Astana - reputed to be £10 billion. That'd buy a lot of players.

"...and we'll have an Argos over there"

Even to those who have watched Kazakh league football, it's an unfamiliar Premier League this year.

With one newborn team and three stiffs, 14 teams instead of the usual 16 are competing this time round.

That’s 14 teams in 14 different cities across Kazakhstan, which happens to be the world’s ninth-largest country. Hardly ideal, although it helps if your club's sponsored by the railways.

Lokomotiv's relocation means that there's no top-flight representative from Almaty. It’s the first time Kazakhstan’s largest city has been without a top-flight team since the league’s inauguration in 1992.

Just about.

Because there was a significant flaw in Lokomotiv’s Astana reinvention: they had nowhere to play.

They'd arranged to move into the new national stadium planned as the next grandiloquent monument on the city’s skyline.

But it’s still under construction, so they mooted the idea of a return to Almaty, tail between the legs, to begin the season 600 miles away.

It also means that the sprightly new capital won't play host to England, but the English FA can hardly complain about a fiasco surrounding a new national stadium.

So Wayne Rooney & Co. will face Bernt Stork’s men at Megasport Depot’s former stadium in Almaty.

Lokomotiv may not have been welcomed back in Almaty, even temporarily.

Fans of the two clubs who amalgamated to form them may well have regarded the last-resort re-relocation as a slap in the face. Nor would it have helped build a fan-base in the capital.

Instead, Lokomotiv took up temporary residence at FK Astana’s stadium.

At least they've had better luck in the transfer market. Kazakh transfer coups have been few and far between, so the signing of the former Russian internationals Andrei Tikhonov and Yegor Titov - both former Spartak Moscow captains - has generated hitherto unparalleled interest in the Premier League.

Titov: "To Astana! Er, Almaty! Wherever!"

They’ve paved the way for Lokomotiv to make an impressive start; 10 games into the season they have amassed 24 points, one behind leaders and pre-season favourites Aktobe.

You may not have heard the last of Lokomotiv. They’ll be competing in the Europa League next season, by which time their new home will be ready.

That might even tempt NMTB to visit again. And yes, it can be achieved by train.

London to Brussels, then on to Cologne; switch to the daily Moscow service followed by a Trans-Siberian adventure to Yekaterinburg, where there’s another transfer at Petropavlovsk to catch a train to Almaty.

Total time: 106 hours and 38 minutes.

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The world's longest journey for a league game

2009-05-27T13:00:00Z

This week NMTB is heading out east, waaaaay out east.

To the Far East, no less, to say zdravstvuyte to a team at the wrong end of the Trans-Siberian Railway on Russia’s Pacific coast.

But before it arrives in the Muravyov-Amursky peninsula to pick like some football-hungry vulture at the remains of Luch-Energiya Vladivostok’s extraordinary fixture last Friday, NMTB has a couple of stopovers on its onerous journey east at some familiar friends of the blog.

The first port of call is Ukraine, where Shakhtar Donetsk fans have been in exultant mood since the club arrived home from Istanbul with the UEFA Cup last week.

It was a well-deserved victory over Werder Bremen and Dario Srna may be flexing his trophy-lifting arm again this weekend when the Miners face Vorskla Poltava in the Kubok of Ukraine.

Srna and cup

Next it’s over the border into Moldova, where similar scenes of jubilation greeted Sheriff Tiraspol in Transdniestr upon their return from Chişinău with the Cupa Moldovei.

BLOG: A powerful Sheriff, a haircut and a drunken war

The win was about as inevitable as an Igor Smirnov victory in the schismatic state’s elections, but the president would’ve enjoyed an extra tot of Kvint before bedtime on Saturday after their victory capped an unprecedented treble for his team.

It was the third chapter in a remarkable season that has also yielded the CIS Cup and the Divizia Naţională for Leonid Kuchuk and his players.

Поздравляю. (That’s “congratulations” not a Russian insult, honest.)

But back to Vladivostok, a city whose ‘Lord of the East’ nickname doesn’t suit the hapless Luch-Energiya – hardly members of the country’s footballing aristocracy.

10 games into the new campaign, the club are back in the First Division relegation zone.

Last season was equally mediocre and Luch-Energiya exited the Premier League in reprehensible fashion after just three wins in 30 matches, two of them against fellow relegation sufferers Shinnik Yaroslavl.

It’s not all the players’ fault. They aren’t entirely exculpable, but the club have a gargantuan impediment that eggheads don’t quite know how to overcome.

Luch-Energiya are miles away – thousands of miles away – from their opponents.

Only SKA-Energiya Khabarovsk are remotely near to Vladivostok. That’ll be just the 1,000-mile round trip for the local derby this season, then.

"Bit of a trip this weekend, lads"

Football clubs in Russia are heavily concentrated in the west, yet Vladivostok isn’t much more than a goal kick away from the North Korean border. (They wouldn’t get their ball back if it went over the fence.)

So their away games habitually involve long-haul flights across the world’s largest country and several time zones.

Luch-Energiya have accrued an unremarkable 10 points so far, all of them won at their decrepit Dynamo Stadium against bleary-eyed opponents.

The only points they’ve accumulated on their travels this season have been air miles.

Their rather special guests last weekend were Baltika Kaliningrad, from the eponymous Russian exclave on the Baltic coast, some 4,575 miles away.

It was a record-breaking game, the furthest a team has ever travelled for a league match, not that Baltika were overjoyed to make such history.

There was a distinct lack of bunting out for their arrival, although Luch-Energiya were blooding yet another manager in Constantine Emelyanov, who opted for a 3-4-3 formation on his debut.

Obviously it worked. Vitali Kazantsev and Artyom Mikheyev scored the goals in a 2-0 win for Luch-Energiya that was all down to the coach’s tactical nous and motivational ability, and nothing to do with the visitors’ eye-watering trek across Russia.

Probably.

The match was last Friday (midnight for the away team, what with the time difference), which at least gave Baltika and the dyed-in-the-wool supporters who travelled to Asia the opportunity to make a weekend of it in Vladivostok.

The city’s naval base dictated that it was closed to foreigners until the collapse of the USSR and it doesn’t get many visitors today, although there is a rather pleasant beach and, naturally, a museum dedicated to local lad Yul Brynner.

Yul & co share a joke about the Muravyov-Amursky peninsula

Actually, forget a weekend - Baltika supporters might have considered making a week of it, had they not had another fixture in midweek.

Vladivostok is closer to Australia than to Kaliningrad and Luch-Energiya were once sponsored by Castlemaine.

Last season Luch-Energiya were drawn at Baltika in the fittingly-named Rambler Cup, and it was evident that then-manager Zoran Vulic didn’t give a XXXX about it.

He didn’t send any of his first team halfway across the world; in fact, Vulic didn’t even bother to make the trip himself. At least Sir Alex travelled to Hull.

The PFL attempted to solve the issue by scheduling visitors to the Far East to face Luch-Energiya and SKA-Energiya Khabarovsk on the same trip in a move that, in reality, suits no one.

The two eastern clubs are also afforded similar assistance with their fixture lists, but it doesn’t do anything for the problem of players’ jetlag.

No one wants to play two games of football in four days after a journey that would make Michael Palin recoil in horror.

Visitors to Vladivostok have employed various techniques in an attempt to find a solution, although the problem may not last much longer.

On their current form Luch-Energiya will soon be heading down to the Second Division and Russia’s regionalised leagues.

If that were to happen, not many from the far west would be crying into their vodkas.

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Named & shamed: The USSR's 10 worst monikers

2009-05-19T14:00:00Z

Never Mind the Bolsheviks has a lot of time on its hands.

That's why the blog has spent this week poring over league tables past and present from across the former Soviet Union to pick out and poke fun at those sides who have been less than fortunate in the naming stakes.

Football teams in the USSR, like every other facet of life in the socialist worker’s paradise, were inextricably linked to some sort of state-run industry or club and spawned the generic Dynamo, Lokomotiv and Spartak monikers that litter leagues across the region.

Yet sometimes they get it wrong, very wrong, and chairmen bestow upon their sides a name that resembles something akin to a pub quiz team.

What’s wrong with just St. Petersburg City? (OK, it would be St. Petersburg Gorod in Russian, but you get the point.)

It’s been something of an arduous task compiling the list – simply because, quite frankly, the Communists were rubbish at giving their football clubs sensible names – and there are a few notable omissions from the top 10 NMTB has cobbled together. A top 50 could have been easily achieved.

Access Golden Grain Petropavlosk (Kazakhstan), Dinamo Bender (Moldova), Elektrik Plant Leningrad (Russia), Stalkers (Latvia) and Traktor Tashkent (Uzbekistan), hang your heads in collective shame.

You all boast some downright awful names, but can take solace in the fact that you’ve escaped a place in this blog’s chart.

Anyway, cue the music: here’s a rundown of the top 10…

10. Atlantas Klaipeda, Lithuania
They don’t hail from the legendary island that sank into the sea, although the club did vanish without trace from Lithuanian football just as fast as Atlantis did from maps this year when sponsor Vladimir Romanov threw a strop and withdrew them and his other team, FBK Kaunas, from the top-flight not long before the season was due to commence. That’ll be more Lithuanian players on their way to Hearts, then.

9. Kapaz Ganja, Azerbaijan
Alas, every stoner’s favourites are no more. Interest began to wane in the side from Azerbaijan’s second-largest city after a name change to the more sensible FK Gäncä a few years ago, and from then on it all went downhill. The club fell into financial disarray and withdrew from the Premier League in 2007, probably because men in Rasta hats stopped attending their games.

"One's not off to Azerbaijan"

7. Tallinn JK Eston Villa, Estonia
NMTB heads all the way down to the fifth tier of Estonian football to meet a side from the capital, Tallinn, that nicked Aston Villa’s name a few years ago. Sadly they haven’t shared the recent success of their Brummie equivalents and were tonked 10-0 in the first round of the Estonian Cup this year by the reserve side of those stalwarts of Baltic football Viljandi Tulevik. They won’t be meeting Aston Villa in Europe for a few years yet, NMTB would imagine.

6. Olimpia Bălți, Moldova
OK, it’s pronounced something like “Balz”, but then that isn’t really compatible with any Indian cuisine jokes you may have. Incidentally, when NMTB visited last year it was extremely disappointed with the dearth of curry houses in Moldova’s fourth-largest city; there wasn’t a popadom in sight. In fact, it was disappointed with pretty much everything in Bălţi, but then it is twinned with Kaesong in North Korea and has a name that translates as “swamp” in English, which gives readers an idea of what to expect should they inexplicably find themselves out that way.

5. Amkar Perm, Russia
There aren’t enough perms in football anymore, not since Kevin Keegan and Terry McDermott hung their boots up. Wouldn’t it be great if Amkar had a strict transfer policy in place where they purchased solely players with perms, a bit like how Athletic Bilbao sign only Basques? Fabio Coloccini of Newcastle would be first on Amkar’s shopping list, although the Premier League is broadcast in Russia and if they’ve seen some of the performances he’s put in this season…

"Well, I did move to get into Europe"

The team were founded at the Perm Mineral Fertilisers factory 15 years ago and today play in Russia’s top flight. NMTB visited the city once to see its ice caves; they were rubbish, the factory would have probably been more interesting. And don’t be fooled into thinking the “Ice Hotel” is some quirky building constructed from ice and snow because it’s not, it’s an ugly edifice made from bricks and mortar.

4. Megasport Depot, Kazakhstan
Football team or budget sports retailer from Droitwich that flogs dodgy shell-suits to chavs? Well now they are neither, after merging with their rivals FK Almaty, changing their name to Lokomotiv and relocating 600 miles away in Astana earlier this year, probably in embarrassment at being called Megasport Depot.

3. Happy End Camenca, Moldova
It wasn’t such a happy end for the team from the breakaway republic of Transdniestr (see previous blog), who plummeted down the country’s football pyramid a few years ago into obscurity. They once went on a 13-game losing run in the Divizia Naţională that saw them ship 57 goals, including 10 in one game against Zimbru Chişinău. Crippled by goal difference, Happy End limped to the bottom of the table, desperately in search of a masseuse.

2. Kaisar Kyzylorda, Kazakhstan
Nothing funny about Kaisar Kyzlorda? NMTB concurs. The Fearless isn’t a great name, but it’s their past incarnations that piqued the interest of this blog; they’ve played under various guises, all equally bad, including The Mechanics a while back. Indubitably their best (or worst) was The Land Reclamation Experts, which came about through a sponsorship deal a while back. NMTB didn’t unearth any evidence to suggest that they were adroit at the retrieval of any kind of property. They could have been though.

Just quite why Kaisar Kyzylorda’s crest features an antelope is a mystery to NMTB – it’s not really an animal automatically associated with fearlessness. They might want to try a snarling dog, or an eagle, or Stuart Pearce.

"RRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!"

1. Sok Schastliviy Den Kant, Kyrgyzstan
Doth thy berets, comrades: the blog’s top spot goes to a rather sneaky outfit from Central Asia. NMTB spotted them, hiding, cowering in a corner in mortification behind its Kyrgyz name Sok Schastliviy Den. The erudite among you will already be sniggering at its English translation, but for the rest, the club from Kant has a name that means Happy Day Juice, making them surely the only team to be sponsored by a fruit drink.

Kant, incidentally, means “sugar” – popular with kids, less so with their wallet-wielding parents. That’s probably what put shoppers off buying Happy Day Juice in their local supermarkets which may, or may not, have been the reason why the club went bust. Not such a happy day for its fans, then. They may be gone, but the city still boasts a First Division, drinks name-based team in Abdish-Ata, who are sponsored by the local brewery.

So there it is, the top 10 worst named clubs from the former Soviet Union. Do you agree/disagree? Know a better one from the former USSR? Get in touch below and let NMTB know.

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Will it be lucky 13 for Dynamo Kyiv?

2009-05-12T14:00:00Z

NMTB finds itself in familiar territory once again this week as it touches down in another of its former homes, Ukraine, to join in the celebrations for Dynamo Kyiv’s 13th title success.

But first the blog has a couple of bugbears concerning Ukraine (that’s “Ukraine”, not “the Ukraine” any more than “the Australia”) that it wishes to get off its chest in an Alan Partridge matter-of-fact rant.

Where it is, for starters

Firstly, its capital is spelt K-Y-I-V, not K-I-E-V.

Ever since independence in 1990, the Ukrainian-language spelling has been deemed its official title and its former moniker has been consigned solely to Kerry Katona’s favourite frozen garlic chicken meals.

Which brings NMTB nicely onto point two. The aforementioned delicacy, tasty as it may be, does not originate in the Ukrainian capital.

Some French bloke in a St. Petersburg kitchen concocted the dish after fiddling about with chicken breasts, garlic and breadcrumbs.

(Resultantly, and disconcertingly for aficionados, not many Ukrainian restaurants serve them. If you have a hankering for one, make a beeline for the ubiquitous Mister Snack.)

Back to Dynamo, and it has been a case of when, not if, the Bilo-Syni (White-Blues) would lift the Premier-Liga title this season.

They’ve topped the table since the ninth round and held a commanding lead going into the winter break, but it was perhaps fitting that the championship was won in their Lobanovsky Dynamo Stadium on Sunday.

Their fixture against an unfashionable Tavriya Simferopol side came just three days shy of the seventh anniversary of Valeri Lobanovsky’s death, May 13.

The country’s most venerated manager, who also played for the club, Lobanovsky presided over their ascent as a domestic and continental force.

His three spells in the Dynamo hotseat before and after independence all yielded trophies aplenty, including two European Cup Winners’ Cups.

Their 1975 success against fellow commies Ferencváros from Hungary was the first time a team from the Soviet Union brought a major European honour back to the motherland.

His service to the USSR and, later, Ukraine national teams was also commendable, although the less said the better about his days in the sun managing the United Arab Emirates and Kuwait.

Valeri: Insert Zutons joke here

The task facing Dynamo on Sunday evening was simple, in spite of Shakhtar Donetsk winning 3-0 against Kharkiv earlier in the day: avoid defeat against Tavriya, and the title would be heading back to Kyiv.

Still, with gaffer Yuri Semin having Wednesday’s Ukrainian Cup semi-final against Shakhtar in mind, it was a much-changed Dynamo team that took to the field.

And they found themselves trailing at the interval thanks to a goal from a Bilo-Syni old boy – the Nigerian Lucky Idahor.

But normal service was resumed in the second half when Semin rang the changes and Dynamo recorded a 3-2 victory with a last-minute free-kick from NMTB’s pick of the bunch for the Kyivites this season, Oleksandr Aliyev.

(Forget that listless performance he put in against England at Wembley: the entire team were rubbish that night.)

The site of the win, the Lobanovsky Stadium, has become a shrine to the former manager since his death.

The entrance is adorned with a huge billboard emblazoned with his image – poignantly reading ‘Lobanovsky Forever’ – and fans are greeted outside the ground by a statue of the great man.

(That said, Lobanovsky’s not too keen on posing for photographs when Dynamo aren’t in residence. Attempting to pay its respects one quiet weekday in 2007, NMTB was frogmarched out of the ground by a burly chap with a dodgy-looking moustache.)

It's that man again

In 2001, a wet-behind-the-ears NMTB moved to Ukraine and became a member of the Pozniaky Masyv – not a menacing, hoodie-clad gang, but a resident of a then down-at-heel Kyiv neighbourhood populated mostly by menacing, hoodie-clad gangs.

The blog was lodging with staunch Dynamo supporter Valeri, an erstwhile Red Army general with a girl’s name (OK, it means Walter in English) and a combover to make Bobby Charlton blush.

He proudly took NMTB to matches each week like the son he never had.

That season Shakhtar usurped Dynamo at the top of the Premier-Liga, the capital club winning nowt – while Lobanovsky was relieved of his position as head coach of the national team.

However, this time round the Miners’ campaign never really got going until after the winter break, by which time they were a distant speck in the rear-view mirror for Semin’s free-scoring side.

It’s goals that have won it for Dynamo in 2009.

They’ve averaged two-and-a-half a game this season – almost Barcelona standards – with 16 of them coming from the quick feet of their pacy front man Ismaël Bangoura.

He has had a few English Premier League clubs sniffing around him; Everton and Wigan are rumoured to be among potential suitors.

"Hmm, toffee or pie?"

The Guinea international’s performances alongside Artem Milevskiy, coupled with the likes of Aliyev and Roman Eremenko in midfield, have wrestled the title away from their big-spending rivals from Donetsk.

And should Bangoura move to pastures new this summer, Semin isn’t short of firepower: waiting in the wings are the Uzbek Maksim Shatskikh – the Premier-Liga’s second-highest goalscorer of all time – and 19-year-old Artem Kravets, Ukraine’s next big thing.

Bangoura was rested at the weekend, although will be back leading the line on Wednesday for a tie against Shakhtar that holds an even greater significance than usual for the Kyivites.

They’re out for revenge after the defeat they suffered at the hands of their rivals in the UEFA Cup last week – and on a more personal level, Semin has never masterminded a Dynamo victory against Mircea Lucescu’s side since taking over from Anatoliy Demyanenko in 2007.

But three days after clinching their 13th title, there could be no better day than Wednesday to overturn this unwanted statistic; the fixture against Shakhtar on May 13 coincides with the seventh anniversary of Valeri Lobanovsky’s passing.

It could just be lucky 13 for Dynamo and Semin this week.

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A powerful Sheriff, a haircut & a drunken war

2009-05-05T14:00:00Z

Welcome to Never Mind the Bolsheviks, a new blog about football in the 15 former Soviet republics who used to nestle behind the Iron Curtain.

And there’s no better place to start than with a piece of history being made recently in Moldova… or a place nearby.

Unlike almost every other league in the former Soviet Union, Moldova’s Divizia Naţională is at the business end of the season and Sheriff Tiraspol sit 15 points ahead of their nearest rivals, Dacia Chişinău, with three games left to play.

Their 3-0 win at seventh-placed Nistru Otaci on Saturday April 25 brought them their ninth successive league title, eclipsing their bitter rivals Zimbru Chişinău’s haul of eight championships since Moldova achieved independence in 1991.

FFT.com: Putting Moldova on the map

Sheriff are something of an anomaly in Moldovan football; in fact, some would argue – passionately – that they aren’t even Moldovan at all.

The team are based in Transdniestr, a Soviet-loyal breakaway republic occupying a sliver of land in the east of Moldova, where statues of Lenin and images of the hammer and sickle still defiantly adorn streets littered with government posters requesting citizens donate 30 centimetres of hair. NMTB didn’t see much evidence that this appeal was successful.

In 1992 they fought for their independence in a civil war known colloquially as the “Drunken War”. Bizarrely, officers of the Transdniestrian and Moldovan forces – who until the previous year had been quite close chums in the Red Army – got together in the evenings to indulge in that popular Eastern European pastime of getting blind drunk until the wee hours.

They met to reminisce and to discuss the day’s events, in what were probably quite heated debates until they reached that stage of inebriation where they were slurring “I love yous” across the table at each other, before retiring to their respective barracks for the night.

The following morning they swapped alcohol for AK47s and attempted to kill each other, until the evening came round and they met up for an after-battle pint or two again. It’s thirsty work, war is.

"I'm jusht having a resht"

Unsurprisingly the conflict ended in stalemate and ever since Transdniestr has been left in a state of limbo, receiving only tacit approval by Russia who has thousands of troops stationed there.

When they weren’t having a night on the tiles with their Moldovan adversaries, Transdniestrian officers were busy forming Sheriff, a pervasive company that owns almost every business in the region and is in close cahoots with president Igor Smirnov, who has ruled the schismatic state since its declaration of independence in 1991.

Transdniestrians can shop at Sheriff supermarkets, top up their cars at Sheriff petrol stations, and gamble away the savings they have in Sheriff’s banks at the company’s casinos. There’s even a Sheriff water park under construction.

Tethered horses not shown

In 1997 they branched out into sport, forming Sheriff Tiraspol and building a £100 million stadium replete with a 40-hectare academy for the club, who were given a brief rubric: dominate Moldovan football. And they’ve duly obliged.

No one has come close to challenging Moldova’s, sorry, Transdniestr’s finest, and this season they’ve won the league at a canter, adding yet another cup to a bulging trophy cabinet.

The club are on the verge of an unprecedented treble this year. In January Sheriff won the CIS Cup – nothing to do with Scotland’s insurance-sponsored secondary knockout, but the annual get-together for the champions of each former Soviet state.

And later this month they’ll be attempting to win their sixth Cupa Moldovei when they face Dacia Chişinău in the final.

Who says you can’t buy success?

New sheriff in town

If anything, they were formed as much to be a propaganda tool to use against Moldova as they were to give Transdniestrians a sense of identity.

Moldova is Europe’s poorest country and Transdniestr its least affluent region, where the average wage is around £100 per month, yet Sheriff’s players – recruited from around the world on mindboggling wages – earn thousands a week.

And they live in luxurious apartments adjoining the ground overlooked by a series of rundown, Soviet-era tenement blocks where 99 percent of Transdniestrians reside.

It’s also unlikely that the locals can afford one of the gleaming fleet of Mercedes-Benz cars on the forecourt of the stadium's adjoining showroom.

During the filming of Simon Reeve’s illuminating BBC television series Holidays in the Danger Zone: Places That Don’t Exist he was offered a top-of-the-range vehicle if his documentary about Transdniestr led to Britain formally recognising the pariah state.

Sadly it wasn’t a sweetener presented to NMTB on its last visit to the Sheriff Stadium.

Nice ground in a nasty neighbourhood

An onsite hotel is presently under construction at the ground, but if you want to visit (don’t – it’s horrendous and at the “border” officials will extort cash out of you travelling both ways) you could stay at the wonderfully-named Hotel Timothy.

Befitting the republic’s Stalinist feel, the place resembles something out of Goodnight Sweetheart.

There may be a better hotel in Transdniestr, but NMTB certainly hasn’t come across one during a dozen or so trips across the Dniestr so far.

One thing that isn’t in question is Sheriff’s hegemony over the Divizia Naţională and their place in the second qualifying round of the Champions League next season; it’s probably the only time they’ll call themselves Moldovan.

Those Transdniestrian passports they use wouldn’t be much good, though.

It would be a real fillip for the republic, although probably not for Moldova, if they do make it to the group stages of the competition at the ninth time of asking and put Transdniestr on the map.

Sheriff Tiraspol versus Manchester United. Now that could be an interesting away day for the Red Devils...

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