Serie Aaaaargh!…

Milan's Samba skills leave Italian press purring

2008-09-29T10:00:00Z

Plenty of indigestion this morning. What with all that humble-pie to be eaten last night.

Ronaldinho answered all his critics with a man-of-the-match performance in the Milan derby although it has to be said that Ricky Kaka ran him close.

A good night then for Milan’s boys from Brazil which was reflected in today’s headlines right across the board.

Milan's boys from Brazil dispose of Inter

“The Brazilian Milan,” hailed La Gazzetta dello Sport while Corriere dello Sport couldn’t resist a Samba reference.

“Ronaldinho dances,” summoned their headlines writers, following up with the sub-headline: “Inter surrender to the Brazilian superstar.” And so it was.

Ronnie may not be able to beat a man, well at the moment, but his range of passing remains undiminished as does his sense of the big occasion.

A flick here, a step-over there and a stunning header to cap it all. He even had time to stop and scoop up his errant alice-band before continuing a move.

Inter, for their part, couldn’t pick up the pace and Jose Mourinho was totally out-foxed by Carlo Ancleotti who sent his players out to pressure the Nerazzurri midfield.

Then, when they gained possession, they made sure they didn’t give it away.

Only the Argentines of Inter, Javier Zanetti and Esteban Cambiasso, along with goalkeeper Julio Cesar, can be satisfied with their performances.

Not for the first time did Zlatan Ibrahimovic fail to turn it on when it really counted.

Tempers flare as Burdisso and Materazzi see red

Is the Swede turning into the new Eric Catania: world-class against mediocre sides and mediocre against world-class sides.

How Ricardo Quaresma remained on the pitch for the whole 90 minutes is anyone’s guess? Strolling around the San Siro does not win you derby games – not with Rino Gattuso in such bulldog mood.

Then, there were those two bumbling chuckle twins – Marco Materazzi and Nicolas Burdisso – who as long as the ball remained in the air were at ease with their lot.

However, once the sphere was back on terra firma, the pair treated it to a host of sliced clearances, misdirected passes and finally an inability to get anywhere near it when at the feet of anyone in red and black.

No surprise that both were sent-off: Burdisso for his customary lunge and Materazzi for his lip - and he wasn’t even on the pitch at the time, substituted as Mourinho finally woke up to the fact that he needed a few extra strikers on the pitch.

"Jose trudges off following first Serie A setback"

The result is certainly a major wake-up call for the Portuguese who cannot hope to rely on his arrogance alone and get away with it.

For want of a better word, everyone in Serie A is “arrogant,” in the sense that every team has the belief they can beat anyone on their day even if they don’t outwardly express it.

Mourinho’s approach has left a bad taste already and in true Italian style, revenge will be a dish best eaten cold.

Birthday boy Berlusconi seeks centenary success

2008-09-26T11:30:00Z

October 18 1908: baggy shorts, square goal-posts, handlebar ‘taches, ball like a piece of cement, pitch full of English and Swiss gents.

September 28 2008: baggy shorts, plenty of facial hair, ball like a balloon, pitch full of South Americans.

Yes, the Milan derby is 100 years old, well give or take a month, and some things have changed since the two sides met for the first time, not even in Italy, but in Switzerland for the Chiasso Cup.

Jimmy Greaves nets in the Milan derby, October 1961

However, the desire to rub noses in it for the next four months or so remains undiminished.

Ticket sales have been brisk, as they say, and good sense has prevailed, allowing Inter fans to attend what is Milan’s ‘home game’.

However, much will depend on how the two teams approach the encounter. After all, it’s still early in the season, so although Inter are sitting top of the table victory will not mean a great escape.

Milan are coming off a second consecutive league win and hopefully they are not thinking, “well, a draw would be fine and our pride would be felt intact.”

It’s Silvio Berlusconi’s birthday on Monday and he’s already demanded victory to go along with saving Alitalia from going out of business

Carlo Ancelotti is under pressure from his employer to play Ronaldinho and Andriy Shevchenko, which does not bode well.

Both look as weary as a model stumbling out of a post-fashion show bash and one hefty challenge from Maicon would probably leave Ronnie ending up like Ronaldo before him: a broken man.

Hot to trot: Alex Pato's ready to put Inter to the sword

Better for Carlo to stick with Clarence Seedorf, who as long as the weather remains mild, is capable of producing match-winning performances and Ricky Kaka – getting back to his dashing best – in support of the hot-to-trot Alexandre Pato.

Apparently, fellow Brazilian Leonardo - now part of the Rossoneri backroom staff - has taken the youngster under his wing and his wise words have certainly paid dividends.

Three goals in three games and now the chance to run rings around the labouring Marco Materazzi and Nicolas Burdisso: life is suddenly sweet for the Duck.

Meanwhile, it’s all gone quiet with the champs. Jose Mourinho has been seen but not heard, leaving his assistant Beppe Baresi to provide the platitudes although it would be a surprise if he doesn’t have some routine ready for the pre-game press conference on Saturday.

Jose: Surprisingly subdued... for now

The derby may take centre stage this weekend but we could have a new team on top, with both Lazio and Atalanta just a point behind Inter.

Lazio were back to winning ways in midweek in a 3-0 thumping of Fiorentina, and are at Torino while Atalanta must fancy their chances at AS Roma who are back in the doldrums after losing at Genoa.

In-form Napoli and in-and-out of form Juventus should also maintain their charge for the top, in trips to Bologna and Sampdoria respectively.

All in all, the Milanese derby has arrived at just the right time and if Berlusconi’s birthday wish comes true the league table may well have an unfamiliar look to it come Sunday evening.

Mourinho on form as Milan derby day looms

2008-09-24T12:00:00Z

It’s derby week and fashion week all rolled into one in Milan so there has been plenty of preening around the city.

Willowy models and braying fashion designers have all been giving their views on La Derby della Madonnina.

Of course, the Jose Mourinho factor puts Inter down as firm favourites as far as the fashioniste are concerned although D&G are sitting on the fence: despite being big Nerazzurri fans they deck Paolo Maldini and co. out in their club suits so can’t be seen taking sides.

Anyway, enough of such frivolous matters and down to the nitty-gritty of how long it would take the doyen of the smouldering Bryan Ferry look, Mr. M of course, to get a dig in at AC Milan? Not long.

"Don't call me arrogant, but I'm a special one."

After Milan vice-president Adriano Galliani hailed Rino Gattuso’s amazing powers of recovery from a fractured wrist to play his part in the much-needed win over Lazio, Mourinho suggested that maybe something had been amiss with the initial prognosis.

The midfielder should have been sidelined for a month after falling into the dug-out during a game with Italy ahead of the World Cup 2010 qualifier in early September.

Nevertheless, there he was, protective cast and all, charging all over the San Siro turf on Sunday evening, leaving the Portuguese smelling a rat.

“I like transparency when it comes to my injured players and giving out the correct predicted time for their recovery,” sniffed Mourinho. “Others prefer to suggest a longer lay-off and then it seems wonderful when they return ahead of schedule.”

Gattuso raring to go following miraculous wrist recovery

Don’t be surprised if he expects Alessandro Nesta to make an appearance on Sunday as well but, as yet, this little tease has failed to get a rise out of Milan.

However, expect some sort of retort as the week progresses, especially from Gattuso who generally shoots his mouth off quicker than you can say “50-50 ball.”

Leaving aside the mind games for a moment, Javier Zanetti should play his 600th game for Inter this evening when the champs play Lecce.

The 35-year-old is still full of running and looks as if he could go on until he's 40.

"I'm going to regret doing this in the morning..."

The late Giacinto Facchetti currently holds the club record, on 634 games, so that landmark will surely have gone by the end of the campaign.

If Maldini is rested at Reggina this evening and leads out Milan on Sunday, alongside Zanetti, the pair will have a combined 1475 appearances between them.

Impressive stuff and certainly a fitting moment for two members of the football community who have always put actions before words.

Milan and Roma restore order ahead of midweek malaise

2008-09-22T10:00:00Z

Crisis? What crisis?

While Italy’s state-run airline Alitalia plummets towards a financial crash-landing, at least the country’s prime minister Silvio Berlusconi can stop worrying about AC Milan.

The perma-tanned man of the nation was in the stands to watch his side thrash Lazio on Sunday evening and left the San Siro to save the country from economic meltdown in celebratory mood.

“I saw the real Milan this evening," said the beaming 71-year-old as if he had just won another general election. “I was disappointed with the first two games but I am a lot happier now.”

Seedorf and co. send Silvio home happy

That’s all well and good then but Carlo Ancelotti should not get too carried away although those apple-cheeks were breathing a big sigh of relief at the final whistle.

However, a week is a lifetime in football and with the derby next Sunday and a trip down to the wilds of Reggina on Wednesday, the bottom could yet fall out of the upturn.

On the positive side, both Alexandre Pato and Marco Borriello put in positive performances against previously undefeated Lazio, which should mean Andriy Shevchenko – who unlike Alitalia staff has not been very strike-prone – remains grounded on the bench.

And what of Ronaldinho? Well, he must have the best job in football.

Last Thursday in the UEFA Cup knockabout, Milan were 3-0 up against FC Zurich and on he wanders for a few flicks and crowd-pleasing back-heels, and then on Sunday it was another light shift when the score was beyond doubt.

At this rate, Ronnie should be match-fit sometime in April which will probably suit the laid-back Brazilian fine.

Ronaldinho: Giving the people what they want

Meanwhile, down in the capital it’s a similar story. Any talk of Luciano Spalletti swapping the Olympic Stadium for the San Siro has been shelved for the time being.

However, as with his Milan counterpart, the AS Roma coach is well aware that a slip-up at Genoa in midweek and it’s crash and burn again.

Oh to be Inter or Juventus who are cruising along without a care in the world. Now tied at the top of the table, both have relatively - in Inter’s case make that “very” – easy games in midweek.

Jose Mourinho wanted six points before the derby and half were garlanded at Torino and the rest ought to be gathered against Lecce.

Juventus face Catania at home and after another “one-nil to the Juve” at Cagliari, the Old Lady should perform a similar trick on Wednesday.

Unlike England where midweek fixtures are the norm, in Italy if it’s not the weekend then no one wants to know.

Serie A stadiums seldom seen full on a weeknight

If it’s not the Champions League then the players don’t want to know either and the Football League are seriously considering dropping these rounds from the fixture list next season.

In fact, if they can persuade the clubs to cut short their summer hols then Serie A will kick-off in mid-August and the winter break will be extended into the third week of January.

In the meantime, it’s on with midweek distraction of playing to half-empty grounds and the appearance of Clarence Seedorf in gloves at the first hint of the autumn chill.

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Europe conquered, Italy's clubs now face each other

2008-09-19T09:28:00Z

The cappuccini are tasting a lot sweeter this morning after all four Italian clubs produced fine wins in the UEFA Cup on Thursday evening.

In fact, apart from AS Roma leaving a bitter taste in the mouth, it was a European week to savour for Serie A and certainly AC Milan, Udinese and Sampdoria look set fair for the group stages of their UEFA Cup.

Napoli’s tie with Benfica could still go either way but Edy Reja’s team demonstrated that although they can let in the odd goal they are equally capable of finding the back of the net. With nearly 60,000 in the San Paolo stadium it was almost like the glory days of Diego Maradona.

So here’s to a full Italian complement in the next phase – and to the hope that Alessandro del Piero never again tries that limp effort at a back-flip. A man of his age should know that he could do himself a mishap, although it was a cracking goal to give Juventus a somewhat fortunate victory over Zenit St Petersburg.

Del Piero: "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!"

Tuttosport, of course, have already booked their seats in Rome’s Olympic stadium for May’s Champions League Big Night Out. Showing admirable restraint, Friday’s headline runs: “Juve for the final.” With Real Madrid to play twice and a visit to Russia, it may be a tad premature for Bianconeri fans to get too carried away.

At least La Gazzetta dello Sport had the good grace not to get involved in any hyperbole around Milan’s win over FC Zurich. Their take on events at the San Siro, where a meagre 25,000 bothered to turn up, was “Pato and Borriello make Milan smile again” – but smiling through gritted teeth: the former masters of the universe would rather be back at the top table of the Champions League than slumming it in the UEFA Cup.

Plenty of motivation, then, for Carlo Ancelotti and his men to get their domestic season up and running at the weekend. It’s joint-top against joint-bottom when Lazio come to town to protect their unbeaten start to the campaign, but a win for Milan looks on the cards unless the Romans can overcome that physiological block of bottling it up north – where they haven't beaten the Rossoneri since the 1989/90 season.

Even then it took a Paolo Maldini own-goal to hand them the points – and the way the old fella performed last Sunday at Genoa, maybe Ancelotti should take no chances and diplomatically leave the 40-year-old in the stands this time around.

Maldini (at back): Off the pace at Genoa

No doubt the table will have more familiar feel to it come Sunday evening. Inter are at Torino and seemingly can do no wrong at the moment, so it wouldn’t be a surprise to see Jose Mourinho’s wry grin plastered across our screens when the champs go back to the top.

However, Juve will more than likely be there too as they travel to Cagliari, who are bottom and were dumped out of the Italian Cup in midweek 4-0 at Reggina. Coach Massimilliano Allegri should be getting his marching orders come Monday morning – and only a victory for Roma at home to the conquers of Cagliari will allow Luciano Spalletti to sleep easily.

Just as well the Giallorossi boss is bald, because he'd be tearing his hair out watching Cicinho doing everything humanly possible to neglect his duties as a right-back.

That apart, at the moment it’s all sweetness and light in the world of Italian football – which probably calls for another sugar in the morning cappuccino.

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Mourinho marches on, rag-tag Roma outclassed by Cluj

2008-09-17T09:00:00Z

Clued in to the clueless. That seems a neat summing up of Inter and AS Roma’s first foray into the Champions League or “the Champions” as the Italians call it.

Well, certainly the two sides were a league apart in terms of their approach to their European jaunts.

While Inter were organised, neat on the ball and tireless in closing down Panathinaikos, Roma were, well, the complete opposite in their shocking home defeat to Cluj.

The Romanian champions arrived at the Olympic stadium in what was their debut in the competition, under the management of an Italian, Maurizio Trombetta, took one look at the rag-tag opposition and proceeded to play them off the park.

Romanian minnows run rings around Roma

“Roma, the big flops,” screamed La Gazzetta dello Sport. “Crisis time for Spalletti.”

Wasn’t it only a few weeks ago that Serie Aaaaargh! sat in a Roman café enthralled as a vision of beauty claimed that, quote: “Spalletti has lost the plot.”

And hasn’t she been proved so right.

A case in point during last night’s game: with his side 2-1 down early in the second half the “Bald One” has Jeremy Menez and Stefano Makinwa warming up for 20 minutes.

The clock is ticking so he looks over at the fresh-faced youths champing to get on and instead turns to Vincenzo Montella – lately of Fulham, Sampdoria and the treatment table - who, pushing 35, is slumbering on the bench.

With barely time to pull up his socks, the little striker trots on and stands around until full-time puts everyone out of their misery.

"Montella, get stripped. We need your pace up front..."

Francesco Totti was on the pitch as well but had forgotten how to kick a ball and was another ignominious figure – and just to think we came to praise Cesar.

Cue whistles, jeers and general outpourings of discontent. So, what about Spalletti to Milan and Carlo Ancelotti reborn as a winner in the capital where of course he was a well-loved player back in the 80s?

Meanwhile, Jose Mourinho can do no wrong.

In between winding Catania sporting director Pietro “the monk” Lo Monaco up, following the weekend spat at the San Siro where the Portuguese accused visiting midfielder Giacomo Tedesco of a bit of play-acting to get Sulley Muntari sent-off , he spends the rest of his time getting the best out of Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Adriano.

Yes, the very same pair who under Roberto Mancini either moped around or spent their time exiled in Brazil.

Ibrahimovic was a revelation in Greece and the way he dragged a ball down on the edge of the area, held off one challenge and flicked the ball over another defender before flicking a pass to Mancini to score, was reminiscent of a certain Marco Van Basten – another Ajax alumnus – in his prime.

Jose and Zlatan prepare to do the boogie-woogie

The “no look” pass to put Adriano clean through for the second had Mourinho off his feet and hugging the Swede in what looked like an act of unbridled love.

More likely, however, it was more a confirmation that the “Special One” is getting his message across: you can go out there and take teams apart by playing attacking football.

Belief, that’s all that is needed: Something that has sadly disappeared out the back door at Roma.

Lazio lovin' it atop the pile in Serie A

2008-09-15T10:00:00Z

Well, we didn’t expect to see this after the first two games of the season: Lazio and Atalanta on top of the table on maximum points, with Torino in third.

Only the sight of Inter and Juventus, level on four points with Toro, gives the Serie A table a semblance of the old order.

Early days, of course, but a much-needed breath of fresh air is sweeping through the domestic game. While the headlines are usually given over to Jose Mourinho this, Mourinho that, Carlo Ancelotti and his ever-more floundering press conferences and the weight of expectation on Luciano Spalletti’s shoulders, it’s two craggy old bosses who are getting on with the job in hand.

Ancelotti: "It wasn't supposed to be like this..."

Atalanta coach Luigi del Neri is very much at home with provincial life, having taken Chievo to the top of the table back in 2001. The 58-year-old was a journeyman player and, as a coach, was never meant for the bright lights of the big city.

He lasted as long as it took to unpack a bag at Porto before crumbling in Rome when given his big chance at AS Roma, and was then hounded out of Palermo to return to the backwaters of Verona and more recently Bergamo.

There is no star system at Atalanta, apart from providing Christian Vieri with something of a rest home, and that’s just the way Gigi likes it. Even the team’s scorelines are generally modest: 1-0 against Siena and Bologna so far, and no doubt they'll be satisfied with a similar understated outcome at Catania on Saturday.

Del Neri: Walking tall

It’s a different matter for Delio Rossi at Lazio, where the Sky Blues are expected to actually win games – or least beat Roma twice a year. How they are crowing at the moment as they look down on their more illustrious city rivals, who are floundering in third-bottom place.

Rossi, who once stripped off to his underwear and dived into a fountain after a derby win, has had to make do with limited funds for new players but may have unearthed a real gem in Mauro Zàrate.

Apparently under-rated by Birmingham City, the Argentine scored a goal worthy of Diego Maradona in the 2-0 win over Sampdoria.

“It’s a new era here at the club,” claimed Rossi. “I have to work with the players I have been given but we have a wonderful team ethic which can take us a long way.”

Rossi: Looking on, delighted

Ancelotti would no doubt wish he could voice those same sentiments as he watched Milan sleepwalk – and in the case of Andriy Shevchenko and Ronaldinho, it was literally walking – through their defeat at Genoa.

Spalletti may be thinking the same thing after watching his side lose heavily at Palermo – which should keep the Sicilians' new coach Davide Ballardini in a job for another week.

Another one for the team, another bloody nose for the star system.

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Mundane Milan may mean arrivederci to Ancelotti

2008-09-12T10:00:00Z

What better way than to spend a Wednesday evening than with a relaxing visit to Lugano?

Nestling on the shores of Lake Lugano, just across the border from Italy and known as the ‘Monte Carlo of Switzerland, it’s the perfect spot for the well-paid footballer to kick back although the players of AC Milan seem to be taking that all too literally.

"What's the score lads..."

It’s well into stoppage time and local side, AC Lugano of the Swiss Challenge League, claim to fame: former Bayern Munich coach Ottmar Hitzfeld once played for them, are leading the San Siro giants 2-0.

Picturesque setting it may be but Carlo Ancelotti has a face the look of thunder.

It was meant to be a chance to limber up for the league game at Genoa whose president Enzo Preziosi happens to own Lugano, and give Ricky Kaka a run-out.

However, the evening starts out badly and gets progressively worse for the visitors.

Firstly, Filippo Inzaghi limps off after a mere 17 minutes clutching the inside of his thigh, not a pretty sight at the best of times but particularly worrying as Serie Aaaaargh! has taken up a strategic position behind the Milan dug-out and can see that the striker is in some distress.

A few expletives later and Pippo flops down on the bench where a trainer rams an ice-pack into the offending area.

At least we’ll see Kaka make an appearance sooner than we expected but no, Ancelotti sends on some youth player to fill in up front for 20 minutes or so.

Felipe Massa checks in on best buddy Kaka

Events back on the pitch are a bit like the surroundings: all very neat and tidy but nothing much seems to be going on.

There’s Paolo Maldini, there’s Clarence Seedorf, oh look, it’s Emerson and Pato but this close-up and personal they don’t give off the air of masters of the footballing universe.

Ancelotti lays into Pato for strolling around and anyone else who comes within ear shot.

So it’s some relief then that half-time arrives and we can all have a bit of piece and quiet while Kaka goes through a few gentle stretches in between chatting with Felipe Massa of all people.

It’s the Monza Grand Prix this weekend and the little mop-haired F1 driver has taken time off from testing his Ferrari to watch his good mate in action.

Thankfully when Kaka takes the pitch he immediately draws his team-mates out of their earlier inertia.

A couple of back-heels and a thumping drive that flies past the post and nearly decapitates a photographer – much as in the Omen film although granted that was a pane of glass - are the picks of a very positive return for the World Player of the Year.

Pity about the rest of the side who troop off without seemingly a care in the world as Ancelotti fires the dagger stares at their backs and then throws a mighty strop, leaving new boy Philippe Senderos to face the press.

"Errrrmmmm..."

That snap-shot Milan catches a glimpse of a side that has become self-satisfied with the trappings of the good life and just can’t be bothered anymore.

Is it time to say arrivederci to Ancelotti? Well, defeat at Genoa and his head will really be on the block.

Look out for the names of Roberto Donadoni and Frank Rijkaard – Carlo’s old Rossoneri midfield partners – entering the frame very soon.

New Italy go gung-ho and Wenger targets a new diddyman

2008-09-10T10:00:00Z

Out with brawn, in with flair. Italy may not be able to defend any more but who cares, let’s get all Brazilian and go on all-out attack.

“A swashbuckling Azzurri,” trumpeted La Gazzetta dello Sport ahead of Wednesday evening’s World Cup qualifier with Georgia. The Pink’un added: “Maximum points are needed but the time is here to start building a new and exciting side for the future.”

Marcello Lippi had already indicated that he was set to make changes following the last-gasp win in Cyprus. According to all three sports dailies – Gazzetta, Tuttosport and Corriere dello Sport – it’s an all-dancing 4-3-3 from now on, which means Mauro Camoranesi and the weekend's two-goal-hero Antonio di Natale providing support for beanpole Luca Toni in attack.

Camoranesi and Di Natale: "Look, Luca!"

Not only that but the future starts now with the previously under-employed Alberto Aquilani lining-up alongside AS Roma team-mate Daniele de Rossi and Milan’s Andrea Pirlo in midfield. Defence, who needs it? Anyway, Gigi Buffon can look after that by himself.

On a side note, Italy will spend one half of the game attacking a goal with a giant stage as the backdrop. Udinese’s Friuli stadium is the venue and it just happens that the country’s biggest-selling rocker Vasco Rossi is playing there on Friday. The man is like U2 and Coldplay rolled into one, so it has taken three days to construct the 70m-high stage. “I hope the stage brings the Azzurri good luck and doesn’t distract them,” quipped the 56-year-old, who once threatened to cancel a gig because only 80,000 tickets had been sold.

No doubt the Italy U21s were listening away to Vasco ahead of their crucial European Championship qualifier in Croatia. The young blues are through to the play-offs for the finals in Sweden following a 1-1 draw and in no small measure to another breathtaking performance from Sebastian Giovinco. However, be warned, screams Tuttosport: that thief of up and coming talent, Arsene Wenger, has got his beady eyes on the pocket-sized dribbler.

Skilful, young, tiny and foreign: just Wenger's type

Rest easy though, Juve fans: sporting director Alessio Secco has claimed that he had a contract in his pocket ready for the 21-year-old to sign by the end of the week. In fact, according to Secco the deal would have been done and dusted a few days ago if Claudio Pasqualin, one of Giovinco’s agents – for some reason he needs two – hadn’t fallen off his bike and couldn’t make the meeting.

On second thoughts, Juve fans, don’t rest easy until the little man actually signs.

By the way, Giovinco wants €1m a season, no doubt small change for Arsenal and certainly no problem for Chelsea who are reportedly ready to nap Seb’s even littler brother Giuseppe who is a carbon-copy of his older sibling. As Giovinco junior is only 17, he cannot sign professional forms in Italy until he turns 18 so Chelsea could spirit him away for zero with an offer of a tasty little contract.

Well, we started in swashbuckling fashion, so why not end with pirates?

Defence deities Italy developing cracks at the back

2008-09-08T12:00:00Z

Cracking stuff for Italy at the weekend. Well, cracking in the sense of a broken rib, broken wrist and dislocated shoulder.

Such have been the ills and misfortunes suffered by Azzurri players Fabio Grossi, Alessandro Gamberini and Gennaro Gattuso in the last 48 hours.

While the first two suffered their injuries in the get-out-of-jail win in Cyprus which had the Italian press letting out a collective sight of relief - “Italy by the skin of their teeth,” ran the headline in Gazzetta dello Sport – the Milan man pulled off something of a freak injury.

Falling into the dug-out during a training game on Sunday, the midfield enforcer fractured his wrist and will spend the next month or so no doubt having his Rossoneri team-mates scribbling get well messages on his plaster-cast.

Fractured wrist consigns Gattuso to treatment table

Broken but not bowed is how Marcello Lippi will face Georgia on Wednesday.

There should be no repeat of the headless-chicken-defending witnessed in Cyprus as Lippi is not only touched by that magic dust of good fortune but he is not the type to make the same mistake twice.

It would be surprising if the Georgians are given the sort of space and time afforded Cyprus but while the attack and midfield have numerous options to see the world champions safely through to South Africa, it’s the traditional bedrock of the team that’s a cause for concern: the defence.

Gianluigi Buffon’s performance in Larnaca once again strengthened his status as the world’s best goalkeeper and to replace Dino Zoff as the country’s all-time number one.

However, after that it’s all looking a bit creaky at the back. Apart from Alessandro Nesta and Massimo Oddo, Lippi has retained the backbone of what has become known as “The Berlin Wall” – the heroes of 2006.

None are getting any younger and where are the new generation to replace the ageing Fabio Cannavaro and Marco Materazzi?

Only 24-year-old Giorgio Chiellini, currently out injured, seems a viable long-term option in the heart of the defence.

Chiellini: The future of Italian football

Gamberini is 27 and, despite some sterling displays with Fiorentina, seems to have that fragility which has hindered both Andrea Barzagli and Daniele Bonera’s progress at international level.

Nicolo Legrottaglie will probably start alongside Cannavaro against Georgia but he has turned 31 and may not even be a Juventus regular for much longer.

Seeing that Italy’s World Cup successes in 1986 and 2006 was built around an impenetrable defence, it does not bode well that so few young defenders are making the leap into the starting line-ups of top sides.

Inter, Roma and Milan can field a backline of foreign imports without a thought for local talent but it’s the coach’s job to unearth a few gems so let’s hope that Lippi luck is shining on him.

Spalletti takes a spanking after just one game

2008-09-05T10:00:00Z

The traditional late August start to Serie A means that it’s back to the beach as the league closes down for the international break.

Well, summer is winding down and with Italy off to Cyprus for what should be a winning start to the defence of their World Cup crown, fans up and down the country are at a loose end.

Well, they are going to have to get used to it because the way things are going travelling support will become a thing of the past.

Following Napoli’s duel in the sun last Sunday, not only are the fans of the southern club banned from away games for the rest of the season, but when the action resumes next weekend no Fiorentina supporters will be allowed into the San Paolo while their AC Milan counterparts will not grace the streets of Genoa.

Napoli fans banned... and they aren't the only ones

All high-risk games will now fall under the same jurisdiction, so looking at the rest of September, no Inter fans at Torino, Lazio at Milan, Fiorentina at Lazio and so forth right up to the Milan derby on the 28th.

There will be a further review ahead of the Milanese showdown so maybe as with most draconian measures in Italy they will be quickly be forgotten until the next time.

It’s difficult to dwell on all this negativity so early in the new campaign, not when Serie Aaaaargh! is sitting in a café on one of the side-streets off Rome’s stunning Piazza Navona, watching a drop-dead gorgeous girl administer a good lashing to Luciano Spalletti.

Not literally, of course, as the Roma coach is no where to be seen and the lashing is strictly of the verbal variety.

However, what you have is someone a million miles removed from the usual image of the Italian football fan.

Okay, taking away the fact that she could grace the cover of an fashion magazine, it’s the passion for her team that really grabs your attention - I am being serious so stop sniggering!

"Come on, they're nothing more than a overpaid pub team..."

The regulars are all in agreement when our dream fan complains that the Roma boss should have played Julio Baptista through the middle against Napoli and moved the speedy Mirko Vucinic out to the left when the visitors had right-sided defender Fabiano Santacroce sent-off.

Spot on you have to say but then there’s hardly a murmur of dissent when she drops the bombshell that Spalletti has lost the plot.

What, have we missed something here? Is this the same Luciano Spalletti who took the Romans to runners-up spot, the quarter-finals of Champions League and victory in the Italian Cup?

Well, as they say, dalle stelle alle stalle (from the stars to the stables) but in the course of one game?

“It’s not just one game,” Miss Calico Know-it-all opines. “Didn’t he keep switching players around in the Super Cup? I don’t know if he can get the best out of these players."

“Baptista hasn’t a clue what is going on – he’s like a fish out of water.”

Spalletti: On the receiving end already

The local radio have been humming with similar disgruntled Romanisti and this is probably the first time we have heard such open criticism of the shaven-head boss in his three-year reign.

The vexing problem of Francesco Totti’s injury problems hang heavily over any discussion on Roma’s chances of grabbing a major prize this season – and for la bella raggaza in the bar, a longing look at a photo of her hero on the wall tells us where her heart lies.

Then again, one glance at Aphrodite would probably have Signor Spalletti swooning to ensure he retains the love of the Romans.

Fiery Napoli fans send Serie A back to square one

2008-09-03T14:00:00Z

We have only had one game of the new season but it would seem as if it’s business as usual in Serie A: ultras on the rampage and coaches set for the chop.

Let’s start with the incidents that marred Napoli’s opener at AS Roma.

It seems now that there was a more sinister element orchestrating the public disorder that followed the Napoli fans all the way to the capital and back again.

The Naples anti-mafia department believe that the Comorra – the local crime family – were flexing their muscles over the city council and Silvio Berlusconi government’s unwillingness to allow them to control the rubbish collection within the city and surrounding area.

Napoli fans make their presence felt at the Stadio Olimpico

Well, it was certainly a show of strength. It was estimated that around 2,000 took part in the disturbances which included forcing their way on to the trains bound for Rome without tickets and then attacking train staff who attempted to reason with them.

The Roma ultras had got wind of what was in store and police detained a number of them for possession of such Sunday afternoon accessories as knives, clubs and a hammer for good measure.

The upshot is that no away ground will see Napoli fans for the rest of the campaign and we are back to square one concerning who can attend ‘high risk’ matches in general.

The stadiums in Italy are pretty dilapidated, there is no question about that, but it’s the threat of fan violence that really keeps the public away.

The Berlusconi government couldn’t wait to put troops on the streets of all the major cities over the summer to deter a supposed increase in clandestine crime, i.e. foreigners up to no good.

However, when it comes to the notorious ultras, interior minister Roberto Maroni could only lamely admit that maybe the powers that be had “underestimated the risks” of a mob travelling the relatively short distance from Naples to Rome.

Anyway, what can never be underestimated is the short fuse of two of Serie A’s great sackers: Palermo president Maurizio Zamparini and his Cagliari counterpart Massimo Cellini.

The pair are on the brink of showing their coaches the door after opening day defeats and in Palermo’s case coming on the back of exiting the Italian Cup to lower league Ravenna.

Stefano Colantuono has already been fired once before by the fiery Zamparini so he probably doesn’t even bother unpacking when he takes over.

He could even be gone before the next game, at home to AS Roma in 10 days, if his boss gets out of the wrong side of the bed in the meantime.

Zamparini announces that he's sacked another coach

Apparently, former Sampdoria and Torino coach Walter Novellino has already packed an overnight bag.

From Sicily to another less-than-idyllic island, Sardinia. There we find the unfortunate Massimiliano Allergi, former club striker and coach of such Italian powerhouses, Sassuolo and Grosetto.

Well, we all have to start somewhere but a 4-1 defeat at home to Lazio of all people; you are just asking to test Cellini’s patience – a man whose loyalty to the club means that he watches most games from his home in Miami.

Maybe Zamparini and Cellini can come up with a swap deal between the coaches or maybe just cool their jets, at least until the leaves have turned.

Serie A transfer deadline day roundup

2008-09-02T11:00:00Z

As the transfer window slammed shut promptly at 7pm on Monday evening, a grand total of €500million had made its way out of the coffers of the 20 Serie A sides.

Needless to say, leading the way were money-bags Inter who took their spending spree for the summer to nearly €67m, topping it off with a bit of late shopping for Ricardo Quaresma.

President Massimo Moratti had initially vetoed the move for the Porto winger after throwing a bit of a moody when Jose Mourinho could only muster up a 1-1 draw at Sampdoria, but that lasted all of a couple of hours as he was soon happily signing a cheque for around €24.6m.

Mourinho had got his way once again and the arrival of the 24-year-old must now herald the end for Luis Figo’s days of trying to beat a man.

Inter's latest new recruit

Another cumbersome veteran left pondering his Inter future will be Hernan Crespo who was dumped off the squad list for the Champions League group stage.

It’s a major body blow for the Argentine who turned down a switch to Sampdoria to battle for a place in the Nerazzurri’s top-heavy attack.

After extolling the virtues of his boss all summer, poor Hernan received the news in the worst way possible: a text message.

"2 Hernan, srry 2 say bt u r nt in Champs Lge sqod. Luv Special 1"

Maybe he should have taken a leaf out of Tiago Mendes’ book and locked his tormentor in the toilet.

Apparently, the Portuguese had become so fed up with Juventus trying to offload him that when he saw president Giovanni Cobolli Gigli nip off to the little boy’s room he decided to get his own back.

What the lock was doing on the outside of the door is anyone’s guess but it was only the intervention of a passing Alessandro Del Piero that relieved the prez from his predicament.

Juve president Gigli alongside his saviour

Also spending a penny or two have been Fiorentina who outlaid €48m on new recruits, AS Roma €44m and AC Milan €43.5m.

While the Viola were only able to claw back €4.8m back on sales, the Rossoneri brought in a healthy €38.5m to help balance the books.

Can money buy you success? Well, Genoa must think so as they have splashed out a hefty €57m in an attempt to bridge the great divide and break into the top five.

Apart from that there was little hyper-activity on the final day, but three cheers to the frugal Udinese, who not only got off to a great start to the campaign in a 3-1 win over Palermo, but managed to walk away with a tidy €16m profit from their transfer dealings, proving that you can not only survive but thrive on a shoestring.

So that’s it until January 1 but, in the meantime, here's the Serie Aaaaargh! top five moves of the close season.

1.   Amauri from Palermo to Juventus €22.8m
2.   Ronaldinho from Barcelona to AC Milan €22.5m
3.   Alberto Gilardino from AC Milan to Fiorentina €15m
4.   Julio Baptista from Real Madrid to AS Roma €12m
5.   Juan Vargas from Catania to Fiorentina €12m

Mourinho made to sweat on Serie A debut

2008-09-01T16:00:00Z

He came, he saw, he perspired a lot.

An unfortunate choice of Alice-blue shirt exposed Jose Mourinho’s inexperience at the highest level of fashion sense on the opening day of any Serie A season.

With the thermometer hitting the high 20s in the notoriously clammy port city of Genoa, the Inter boss was never going to survive a stain-free evening under the armpits.

Coo-eee...

His opposite number, Walter Mazzarri had played it safe and gone for white thus allowing him to dispatch with his jacket for any sortie around the technical area.

And to think, it had all looked so easy for the Portuguese in the warm-up as he posed against the dug-out, looking mean and lean sans jacket and tie - the perfect Paco Rabanne model.

Club owner Massimo Moratti, who was busy chain-smoking up in the stands – now we know where he gets that year-round pallor from – had compared his new man to the great Helenio Herrera.

The Argentine coach, of course, was a style guru in his own right back in the 1960s and on his debut led the side to a 5-1 win at Atalanta.

Back then, La Gazzetta dello Sport hailed the new era as the start of something very special so no doubt they were preparing such gushing headlines for the noughties version.

As befits his George Clooney-like status, the flashbulbs where in overdrive from the moment he stepped off the coach.

Smart move then to take his place on the bench attired in jacket as a camera had been strategically placed to record each blink, twitch and sigh.

Zlatan nets to make it 1-0 to the Inter

Very little happened in the first half-hour or so as Inter played the ball around neatly without actually going forward.

A few scribbles on the notepad and the odd moment staring into space were interspersed with a nod to his assistant Beppe Baresi who had been forced to make do with wearing his training kit.

Then lo and behold, just as we were all nodding off, Zlatan Ibrahimovic put the ball in net and Italy had it’s first glimpse of the Jose shuffle down the touchline, accompanied by a bit of fist pumping.

Natural coolness was then restored, followed by a bit more frantic scribbling and a pat on the back for the Bari brawler Antonio Cassano.

All going according to plan then and not a swear-mark to be seen. However, the big-haired Mazzarri wasn’t about to allow Mourinho to stroll off into the night with a trademark one-nil to the Inter.

As Samp upped their game so the first beads began to form on the Special One’s ever more anxious brow.

Jose gets a little hot under the collar, and under the arms

He was left in the delicate situation of ignoring the rivets and allowing them to roll down his cheek or wiping them away thus exposing himself as someone who was feeling the pressure somewhat.

Samp scoring actually got Jose out of a sticky spot: the perfect excuse to throw off the shackles of cool and leap out of the dug-out to shake his head and do a bit of pointing before leading Luis Figo off the pitch and hopefully to the knacker’s yard for clapped-out wingers.

It was all rather downbeat in the post-game interviews as well as an obviously strained Mourinho tried in vain to curtail those rambling questions so loved by Italian reporters before tossing back his well-coiffed head and escaping to the sanctuary of the Inter coach where no doubt the AC was at full blast.

Never fear, real grown-up Serie A is here

2008-08-29T10:00:00Z

Don’t believe the hype about the English Premier League. Real, grown-up football is back again.

While the Premier League has been slogging away, humping long balls into the overcast skies of a late English summer, cooing over a Barcelona has-been and seeing one of their marquee sides lurch into the Champions League with a last-minute face-saver, Serie A’s finest have been lounging around the pool, chatting up the local lovelies.

Actually, they haven’t, that’s what Serie Aaaaargh! has been doing.

In fact, each and every one of the 20 teams in the top flight have been going through a torturous pre-season boot camp in preparation for what will be a marathon campaign. It’s no wonder the players can’t wait to get back out on the pitch this weekend.

Jose cracks the whip at Inter's boot camp

So without further ado, like any good Italian housewife, let’s put it all on the line and make a few predictions for the opening day. And where better to start than with champions Inter at Sampdoria?

Ah, the long shadow of Roberto Mancini will hang over the Luigi Ferraris stadium on Saturday evening when that pantomime villain Jose Mourinho faces the prince of comedy Antonio Cassano.

There'll be plenty of mirth, and not a dry eye in the house, as the Bari bawler tap-dances his way through the depleted Nerazzurri backline to secure a 2-0 victory.

Cassano: Aiming to inflict misery on Mourinho

Joyous celebrations up and down the country ensue, as the rest of title challengers puff out their chests on Sunday and dream of being the new kings of calcio.

In keeping with the general feel-good nature and warm glow of the new term, AS Roma and Napoli meet in the 'Derby of the Sun'. Last year’s corresponding fixture finished 4-4 so expect more of the same but with the Romans gaining the edge this time: 5-3 wouldn’t be a surprise. Especially with the way Philippe Mexes defended in the Super Cup.

No Francesco Totti – ankle-knack – so freedom of the wide-open spaces of the Olympic Stadium will go to Mirko Vucinic and Julio Baptista to run unbridled. The Beast to nab one goal at least.

Has-beens, eh? Ronaldinho, Sheva and the rest of the Milan motley crew will be itching to ram those insults down someone’s throat so beware Bologna: back in the top flight but set for a rude awakening. Dinho has to find the net in a comprehensive 3-0 win. Sheva pops one in as well for good measure just so he can kiss the badge.

Sheva in full-on badge-patting action

OK, it’s all been fun and japes so far but let’s get down to the serious side of Italian football: Juventus. Never known for her easy-going nature, the Old Lady will have a face like a prune when she arrives in Florence on Sunday evening.

Having binned the Fix It So The Top Sides Can’t Meet In The First Month Of The Season computer, there was always a decent chance that the opening day would produce a match the whole of the peninsula could enjoy over a bowl of pasta and a chilled white. Fiorentina would love nothing better than putting one over Juve, but with so much at stake let’s go for a draw. But not any boring goalless or 1-1 draw; instead, a heart-stopping 2-2 goalfest.

So, the Premier League may have all the lolly, modern stadiums and ‘top tier’ sponsors. But as the old Italian saying goes: “We may not be rich, but at least we're not ugly. And one day we might even be rich.”