Serie Aaaaargh!…

Zlatan magic for Mourinho, Ranieri faces the chop

Riccardo Rossi — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 08:00:00 GMT

Jose Mourinho has saved his job for another couple of weeks.

Well, it isn’t that dire of course, but the pressure has been on the Portuguese.

The honeymoon period is long gone and the reality of daily life married to the demanding Italian press seems to have already worn the “lippy one” down somewhat.

Sky Italia employed a “Jose watch” during the game against Bologna on Saturday – the camera homing in on his face for tell-tail signs of mid-game meltdown.

"Who said that? Who's there?"

No such luck: no tics, twitches or involuntary spasms to report, just a few more lines and maybe a hint of darker rings under the eyes. Nothing a few days away from media duties wouldn’t fix.

Still scribbling in that little note-book though, although he still had his wits about him to literally keep it close to his chest whenever he sensed another close-up.

Thank goodness then for something on the pitch to catch the eye.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored what has to be the goal of the season in Italy and without exaggeration probably the best goal for many a season.

It’s doubtful Kung Fu icon Bruce Lee could have produced a more stunning waist-high back-heel, to send an opponent flying through a wall, as the Swede did with the ball.

Probably better to catch it on YouTube…

"How the hell did I do that?"

Ibra produced a similar feat before when he scored for Sweden against Italy at Euro 2004 and, of course, the extravagant flick was the stock in trade of his former coach Roberto Mancini.

No surprise that Zlatan practised a bit of taekwondo when he was younger.

There was another knockout blow down in Rome where Simone Inzaghi, of all people, ensured Lazio did not slip off top spot going into the international break.

The goal-shy striker, who had not found the net for four years and had spent most of the season banished to train with the youth side, came on as a late substitute to score the equaliser against Lecce.

His face was a picture to behold as he ran back to the halfway line, mouthing a few sweet nothings in the direction of coach Delio Rossi: naturally annoying must be a family trait.

"I scored!... I SCORRRRRRRRED!"

Bad day all round for Juventus and AS Roma who both lost and finished their games a player down - in Roma’s case, two.

Juve had Mohamed Sissoko sent-off and the problems they faced in midweek in Minsk – sluggish defence and lack of invention in midfield - were exploited by a lively Palermo.

Ranieri should be one starting to worry that he is next for the chop, and if reports are to be believed, former defender Ciro Ferrara is the dressing room favourite to take over.

Meanwhile, lack of discipline continues to dog Roma.

Luciano Spalletti could only stare at the ground as first Philipe Mexes talked himself into a second yellow card at Siena and was quickly followed by central defensive partner Christian Panucci for a reckless challenge.

Couple that with AC Milan drawing at bottom side Cagliari and the weekend’s shocks were just the perfect pick-me-up Jose needed.

A tale of two moods in Milan

Riccardo Rossi — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 12:00:00 GMT

Whisper it but whisper it anyway, Andriy Shevchenko can score.

He did it on Thursday when the Ukrainian finally found the net again for the only goal of the game in AC Milan’s UEFA Cup win at FC Zurich.

Maybe now we can start to lay off with the jokes that the only thing he could hit was a golf ball and that he liked nothing better than giving footballs away by kicking them into the stands.

He’s from Ukraine where apparently they aren’t big on laughing out loud, but even he cracked a smile when someone hollered ‘fore’ as he was about to shoot during a recent training session.

Sheva scores... no really

It was all smiles again in Switzerland and plenty of relief too for the 32-year-old who had already missed an absolute sitter in the first two minutes.

“Every time there seemed to be something stopping me from scoring,” he said afterwards without a trace of irony.

Yeah, your feet, Andriy. Okay, we are going to stop with the cheap shots. Oops, there we go again.

Suddenly it’s all going swimmingly for Carlo Ancelotti: Sheva back on target, Pato finally living up to his reputation - the coach is spoilt for choice in attack.

Then, there is that little love-in developing between Ronaldinho and Clarence Seedorf.

Strutting around like the football dandies they are, in the derby and then in Zurich, the pair have been playing “let’s keep the ball to ourselves.”

Seedorf and Ronnie: Yet to set a date...

Ricky Kaka has been trying to join in but being of a more puritan bent, he would like everyone to benefit from the fruits of their hard labour – and even passed the ball to Rino Gattuso.

Wild times ahead then for the Rossoneri and even better news at the back where that darling of the Italian female, Alessandro Nesta, is finally back in training and should be available after the international break.

Not so smiley-happy in the Inter camp though. If Milan are a Hollywood feel-good movie then the champs are a homage to film noir with Jose Mourinho the perfect anti-hero.

The long faces around the camp won’t look out of place in an early Bergman flick either. On the bright side it’s certainly cheered the rest of us up.

Get ready for the “Bring back Mancio” banners if the San Siro public are treated to another bore at the weekend against Bologna.

Honeymood period already over for Jose's Inter

Only Napoli failed to make it a clean sweep in the UEFA Cup although Udinese needed penalties to see off Dortmund.

Puzzling to say the least that Edy Reja should take off his most dangerous striker Ezequiel Lavezzi when Napoli were 1-0 down at Benfica with still half-an-hour to play.

The little Argentine looked full of running and well capable of producing something out of the blue.

As it stands the Neapolitans will have to pick themselves up for a tough old encounter at Genoa to maintain their unbeaten record: mark that one down as a home win.

In the pick of other games over the weekend, Lazio to remain on top with three points and three goals at home to Lecce.

Milan to defeat Cagliari by a couple, AS Roma to implode at Siena, 1-0 to Inter against Bologna plus jeers, another draw for Juventus at home to Palermo and Fiorentina to remain goal-shy at Chievo in a draw.

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All hail Argentina and why Mourinho should zip the lip

Riccardo Rossi — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:00:00 GMT

Italian football has always had a strong relationship with Argentines.

Some have delighted, some disappointed and then, of course, there was Diego Maradona. But most have got on with their jobs in a professional manner give or take the odd dodgy passport.

This weekend should see Lazio maintain top spot in the league, with three citizens from that fine South American country playing their part.

In fact, of the current top 10 in the table, only AC Milan, AS Roma and Palermo do not have an Argentine in their first-team squad.

So let’s name the best doing their nation proud, starting from the top:

Mauro Zarate
Totally unknown to the Italian public when he arrived from Birmingham City in the summer via Al Sadd in Qatar, but now after six goals in the first five games, the Lazio striker leads the goalscoring charts to become the star of the early part of the season.

Birmingham to Lazio: Zarate fires Romans to Serie A summit

Diego Milito
“The Prince” returned to Genoa from a spell in Spain and has continued where he left off two seasons ago, finding the net on four occasions and looking the most complete target-man in the league so far.

Javier Zanetti
With his coach Jose Mourinho hogging the headlines, the Inter captain recently surpassed the 600-appearance mark for the club and is still the champions’ real boss.

Mauro Camoranesi
Okay, he decided to become an Italian ages ago but he’s never lost that never-say-die-attitude and dazzling foot-work akin to the best of his countrymen. His defending in Minsk in midweek saved Juventus from a first-half drubbing.

Ezequiel Lavezzi
The little man is recovering from injury but the first weeks of the season saw the nippy frontman run defences ragged. Thankfully, no longer dubbed with the “New Maradona” tag and the better for it.

German Denis
Back in Serie A again and a player honed on a diet of prime Argentine beef. Denis the menace has been softening defenders up for fun, enabling Napoli team-mates such as Marek Hamsik to sneak up from midfield and nab the goals.

Cristian Ledesma
Much maligned last season for lacking heart, the Lazio playmaker has stared down his accusers and grabbed the midfield by the scruff of the neck. Juventus are reportedly ready to make a January move for the 26-year-old. They could do with him.

Ledesma fends off Totti in the Rome derby

Juan Pablo Carrizo
Was meant to have been between the sticks for Lazio last season until he got tangled up in some red-tape concerning a European passport. With that out of the way, finally Delio Rossi has found a replacement for Angelo Peruzzi.

Pablo Ledesma
Another Ledesma but this time driving the Catania midfield to an unlikely top-three position. The former Boca Juniors man combines not only slick passing but plenty of lung-power.

All hail the Republic of Argentina then, and of course an honourable mention has to go Esteban Cambiasso – a little below his best at the moment, but that’s because he has to make up for Inter playing with 10 men whenever Ricardo Quaresma is in the side.

Talking of Inter – and it’s hard not to - Mourinho may have learnt Italian in double-quick time but he still has a lot to learn about the Italian character.

They don’t like someone taking the “Michele” out of them about how much they earn, especially when the country is once again staring into the economic abyss.

Time for the Portuguese to zip the lip and earn his keep: a derby defeat and 1-1 draw at home to Werder Bremen should serve as a warning sign that he could also be set for an almighty crash.

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Marauding men of Minsk dance around Juve defence

Riccardo Rossi — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 10:30:00 GMT

There was once a thing you could always rely on with Juventus, and that was a mean old defence.

Never one to give the opposition as much as a sniff at goal in the past, the Old Lady is now looking decidedly shaking at the back.

Those defensive frailties were exposed in Belarus by BATE Borisov over what Claudio Ranieri described as a “nightmare 30 minutes or so.”

Headless chickens would have made a better show of defending than this back-four where first-choice Nicola Legrottaglie, albeit carrying a knock, and Giorgio Chiellini left such a hole through the centre of defence that it just begged to be crammed full with the marauding men of Minsk.

Iaquinta at the double to let Juve off the hook

It was 2-0 before you could even say Sergei Kryvets and Igor Stasevich and so fraught came the situation that Mauro Camoranesi had to make at least three goal-saving challenges inside his own area.

The introduction of Dario Knezevic, in place of Legrottaglie, did little to allay fears that Juve would be any more secure than before.

No wonder Tuttosport screamed: “Juve that’s enough.”

Certainly, there has to be major concerns in the heart of the defence where Legrottaglie lacks pace and a real ruthlessness to attack a high ball while Chiellini is as hard as a marine, but he does have a tendency to march off on one-man missions to other areas of the pitch.

At least Olof Mellberg does what is printed on the tin but he’s certainly not a brand marked “world-class.”

However, the real problem lies at full-back where Jonathan Zebina remains almost chronically injured while Zdenek Grygera and Cristian Molinaro fall well short of the club’s rich traditions in that position.

Italy Under-21 international, Paolo De Ceglie is still learning his trade, of course, but lacks the personality to hold down a regular berth and no doubt will be loaned out again come January.

Thank goodness then for some fluent attacking play and Sebastian Giovinco finally given a start.

The “Atomic Ant” ran the home defence ragged and set up both goals for Vincenzo Iaquinta to complete the comeback.

All this talk of having to ease the little fella into the side – he’ll be 22 in January and a veteran if he moved to Arsenal – just does not hold water.

If you are good enough then where does age or experience come into it?

Super-sub Giovinco comes to Ranieri's rescue

A case in point was last weekend when once again Juve laboured to break down a hard-working side – Sampdoria – and with 15 minutes remaining the game was calling out for Giovinco’s jack-in-the-box tricks.

Needless to say, Ranieri turned to the more direct approach of Iaquinta who was left to battle for long balls forward against the robust Samp defence and the match petered out to a goalless draw.

Jose Mourinho’s bete noire has never been one to throw caution to the wind but last night proved that a little recklessness can pay off.

Although maybe not so much at the back.

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Milan's Samba skills leave Italian press purring

Riccardo Rossi — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 10:00:00 GMT

Plenty of indigestion this morning. What with all that humble-pie to be eaten last night.

Ronaldinho answered all his critics with a man-of-the-match performance in the Milan derby although it has to be said that Ricky Kaka ran him close.

A good night then for Milan’s boys from Brazil which was reflected in today’s headlines right across the board.

Milan's boys from Brazil dispose of Inter

“The Brazilian Milan,” hailed La Gazzetta dello Sport while Corriere dello Sport couldn’t resist a Samba reference.

“Ronaldinho dances,” summoned their headlines writers, following up with the sub-headline: “Inter surrender to the Brazilian superstar.” And so it was.

Ronnie may not be able to beat a man, well at the moment, but his range of passing remains undiminished as does his sense of the big occasion.

A flick here, a step-over there and a stunning header to cap it all. He even had time to stop and scoop up his errant alice-band before continuing a move.

Inter, for their part, couldn’t pick up the pace and Jose Mourinho was totally out-foxed by Carlo Ancleotti who sent his players out to pressure the Nerazzurri midfield.

Then, when they gained possession, they made sure they didn’t give it away.

Only the Argentines of Inter, Javier Zanetti and Esteban Cambiasso, along with goalkeeper Julio Cesar, can be satisfied with their performances.

Not for the first time did Zlatan Ibrahimovic fail to turn it on when it really counted.

Tempers flare as Burdisso and Materazzi see red

Is the Swede turning into the new Eric Catania: world-class against mediocre sides and mediocre against world-class sides.

How Ricardo Quaresma remained on the pitch for the whole 90 minutes is anyone’s guess? Strolling around the San Siro does not win you derby games – not with Rino Gattuso in such bulldog mood.

Then, there were those two bumbling chuckle twins – Marco Materazzi and Nicolas Burdisso – who as long as the ball remained in the air were at ease with their lot.

However, once the sphere was back on terra firma, the pair treated it to a host of sliced clearances, misdirected passes and finally an inability to get anywhere near it when at the feet of anyone in red and black.

No surprise that both were sent-off: Burdisso for his customary lunge and Materazzi for his lip - and he wasn’t even on the pitch at the time, substituted as Mourinho finally woke up to the fact that he needed a few extra strikers on the pitch.

"Jose trudges off following first Serie A setback"

The result is certainly a major wake-up call for the Portuguese who cannot hope to rely on his arrogance alone and get away with it.

For want of a better word, everyone in Serie A is “arrogant,” in the sense that every team has the belief they can beat anyone on their day even if they don’t outwardly express it.

Mourinho’s approach has left a bad taste already and in true Italian style, revenge will be a dish best eaten cold.

Birthday boy Berlusconi seeks centenary success

Riccardo Rossi — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 11:30:00 GMT

October 18 1908: baggy shorts, square goal-posts, handlebar ‘taches, ball like a piece of cement, pitch full of English and Swiss gents.

September 28 2008: baggy shorts, plenty of facial hair, ball like a balloon, pitch full of South Americans.

Yes, the Milan derby is 100 years old, well give or take a month, and some things have changed since the two sides met for the first time, not even in Italy, but in Switzerland for the Chiasso Cup.

Jimmy Greaves nets in the Milan derby, October 1961

However, the desire to rub noses in it for the next four months or so remains undiminished.

Ticket sales have been brisk, as they say, and good sense has prevailed, allowing Inter fans to attend what is Milan’s ‘home game’.

However, much will depend on how the two teams approach the encounter. After all, it’s still early in the season, so although Inter are sitting top of the table victory will not mean a great escape.

Milan are coming off a second consecutive league win and hopefully they are not thinking, “well, a draw would be fine and our pride would be felt intact.”

It’s Silvio Berlusconi’s birthday on Monday and he’s already demanded victory to go along with saving Alitalia from going out of business

Carlo Ancelotti is under pressure from his employer to play Ronaldinho and Andriy Shevchenko, which does not bode well.

Both look as weary as a model stumbling out of a post-fashion show bash and one hefty challenge from Maicon would probably leave Ronnie ending up like Ronaldo before him: a broken man.

Hot to trot: Alex Pato's ready to put Inter to the sword

Better for Carlo to stick with Clarence Seedorf, who as long as the weather remains mild, is capable of producing match-winning performances and Ricky Kaka – getting back to his dashing best – in support of the hot-to-trot Alexandre Pato.

Apparently, fellow Brazilian Leonardo - now part of the Rossoneri backroom staff - has taken the youngster under his wing and his wise words have certainly paid dividends.

Three goals in three games and now the chance to run rings around the labouring Marco Materazzi and Nicolas Burdisso: life is suddenly sweet for the Duck.

Meanwhile, it’s all gone quiet with the champs. Jose Mourinho has been seen but not heard, leaving his assistant Beppe Baresi to provide the platitudes although it would be a surprise if he doesn’t have some routine ready for the pre-game press conference on Saturday.

Jose: Surprisingly subdued... for now

The derby may take centre stage this weekend but we could have a new team on top, with both Lazio and Atalanta just a point behind Inter.

Lazio were back to winning ways in midweek in a 3-0 thumping of Fiorentina, and are at Torino while Atalanta must fancy their chances at AS Roma who are back in the doldrums after losing at Genoa.

In-form Napoli and in-and-out of form Juventus should also maintain their charge for the top, in trips to Bologna and Sampdoria respectively.

All in all, the Milanese derby has arrived at just the right time and if Berlusconi’s birthday wish comes true the league table may well have an unfamiliar look to it come Sunday evening.

Mourinho on form as Milan derby day looms

Riccardo Rossi — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 12:00:00 GMT

It’s derby week and fashion week all rolled into one in Milan so there has been plenty of preening around the city.

Willowy models and braying fashion designers have all been giving their views on La Derby della Madonnina.

Of course, the Jose Mourinho factor puts Inter down as firm favourites as far as the fashioniste are concerned although D&G are sitting on the fence: despite being big Nerazzurri fans they deck Paolo Maldini and co. out in their club suits so can’t be seen taking sides.

Anyway, enough of such frivolous matters and down to the nitty-gritty of how long it would take the doyen of the smouldering Bryan Ferry look, Mr. M of course, to get a dig in at AC Milan? Not long.

"Don't call me arrogant, but I'm a special one."

After Milan vice-president Adriano Galliani hailed Rino Gattuso’s amazing powers of recovery from a fractured wrist to play his part in the much-needed win over Lazio, Mourinho suggested that maybe something had been amiss with the initial prognosis.

The midfielder should have been sidelined for a month after falling into the dug-out during a game with Italy ahead of the World Cup 2010 qualifier in early September.

Nevertheless, there he was, protective cast and all, charging all over the San Siro turf on Sunday evening, leaving the Portuguese smelling a rat.

“I like transparency when it comes to my injured players and giving out the correct predicted time for their recovery,” sniffed Mourinho. “Others prefer to suggest a longer lay-off and then it seems wonderful when they return ahead of schedule.”

Gattuso raring to go following miraculous wrist recovery

Don’t be surprised if he expects Alessandro Nesta to make an appearance on Sunday as well but, as yet, this little tease has failed to get a rise out of Milan.

However, expect some sort of retort as the week progresses, especially from Gattuso who generally shoots his mouth off quicker than you can say “50-50 ball.”

Leaving aside the mind games for a moment, Javier Zanetti should play his 600th game for Inter this evening when the champs play Lecce.

The 35-year-old is still full of running and looks as if he could go on until he's 40.

"I'm going to regret doing this in the morning..."

The late Giacinto Facchetti currently holds the club record, on 634 games, so that landmark will surely have gone by the end of the campaign.

If Maldini is rested at Reggina this evening and leads out Milan on Sunday, alongside Zanetti, the pair will have a combined 1475 appearances between them.

Impressive stuff and certainly a fitting moment for two members of the football community who have always put actions before words.

Milan and Roma restore order ahead of midweek malaise

Riccardo Rossi — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 10:00:00 GMT

Crisis? What crisis?

While Italy’s state-run airline Alitalia plummets towards a financial crash-landing, at least the country’s prime minister Silvio Berlusconi can stop worrying about AC Milan.

The perma-tanned man of the nation was in the stands to watch his side thrash Lazio on Sunday evening and left the San Siro to save the country from economic meltdown in celebratory mood.

“I saw the real Milan this evening," said the beaming 71-year-old as if he had just won another general election. “I was disappointed with the first two games but I am a lot happier now.”

Seedorf and co. send Silvio home happy

That’s all well and good then but Carlo Ancelotti should not get too carried away although those apple-cheeks were breathing a big sigh of relief at the final whistle.

However, a week is a lifetime in football and with the derby next Sunday and a trip down to the wilds of Reggina on Wednesday, the bottom could yet fall out of the upturn.

On the positive side, both Alexandre Pato and Marco Borriello put in positive performances against previously undefeated Lazio, which should mean Andriy Shevchenko – who unlike Alitalia staff has not been very strike-prone – remains grounded on the bench.

And what of Ronaldinho? Well, he must have the best job in football.

Last Thursday in the UEFA Cup knockabout, Milan were 3-0 up against FC Zurich and on he wanders for a few flicks and crowd-pleasing back-heels, and then on Sunday it was another light shift when the score was beyond doubt.

At this rate, Ronnie should be match-fit sometime in April which will probably suit the laid-back Brazilian fine.

Ronaldinho: Giving the people what they want

Meanwhile, down in the capital it’s a similar story. Any talk of Luciano Spalletti swapping the Olympic Stadium for the San Siro has been shelved for the time being.

However, as with his Milan counterpart, the AS Roma coach is well aware that a slip-up at Genoa in midweek and it’s crash and burn again.

Oh to be Inter or Juventus who are cruising along without a care in the world. Now tied at the top of the table, both have relatively - in Inter’s case make that “very” – easy games in midweek.

Jose Mourinho wanted six points before the derby and half were garlanded at Torino and the rest ought to be gathered against Lecce.

Juventus face Catania at home and after another “one-nil to the Juve” at Cagliari, the Old Lady should perform a similar trick on Wednesday.

Unlike England where midweek fixtures are the norm, in Italy if it’s not the weekend then no one wants to know.

Serie A stadiums seldom seen full on a weeknight

If it’s not the Champions League then the players don’t want to know either and the Football League are seriously considering dropping these rounds from the fixture list next season.

In fact, if they can persuade the clubs to cut short their summer hols then Serie A will kick-off in mid-August and the winter break will be extended into the third week of January.

In the meantime, it’s on with midweek distraction of playing to half-empty grounds and the appearance of Clarence Seedorf in gloves at the first hint of the autumn chill.

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Europe conquered, Italy's clubs now face each other

Riccardo Rossi — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 09:28:00 GMT

The cappuccini are tasting a lot sweeter this morning after all four Italian clubs produced fine wins in the UEFA Cup on Thursday evening.

In fact, apart from AS Roma leaving a bitter taste in the mouth, it was a European week to savour for Serie A and certainly AC Milan, Udinese and Sampdoria look set fair for the group stages of their UEFA Cup.

Napoli’s tie with Benfica could still go either way but Edy Reja’s team demonstrated that although they can let in the odd goal they are equally capable of finding the back of the net. With nearly 60,000 in the San Paolo stadium it was almost like the glory days of Diego Maradona.

So here’s to a full Italian complement in the next phase – and to the hope that Alessandro del Piero never again tries that limp effort at a back-flip. A man of his age should know that he could do himself a mishap, although it was a cracking goal to give Juventus a somewhat fortunate victory over Zenit St Petersburg.

Del Piero: "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!"

Tuttosport, of course, have already booked their seats in Rome’s Olympic stadium for May’s Champions League Big Night Out. Showing admirable restraint, Friday’s headline runs: “Juve for the final.” With Real Madrid to play twice and a visit to Russia, it may be a tad premature for Bianconeri fans to get too carried away.

At least La Gazzetta dello Sport had the good grace not to get involved in any hyperbole around Milan’s win over FC Zurich. Their take on events at the San Siro, where a meagre 25,000 bothered to turn up, was “Pato and Borriello make Milan smile again” – but smiling through gritted teeth: the former masters of the universe would rather be back at the top table of the Champions League than slumming it in the UEFA Cup.

Plenty of motivation, then, for Carlo Ancelotti and his men to get their domestic season up and running at the weekend. It’s joint-top against joint-bottom when Lazio come to town to protect their unbeaten start to the campaign, but a win for Milan looks on the cards unless the Romans can overcome that physiological block of bottling it up north – where they haven't beaten the Rossoneri since the 1989/90 season.

Even then it took a Paolo Maldini own-goal to hand them the points – and the way the old fella performed last Sunday at Genoa, maybe Ancelotti should take no chances and diplomatically leave the 40-year-old in the stands this time around.

Maldini (at back): Off the pace at Genoa

No doubt the table will have more familiar feel to it come Sunday evening. Inter are at Torino and seemingly can do no wrong at the moment, so it wouldn’t be a surprise to see Jose Mourinho’s wry grin plastered across our screens when the champs go back to the top.

However, Juve will more than likely be there too as they travel to Cagliari, who are bottom and were dumped out of the Italian Cup in midweek 4-0 at Reggina. Coach Massimilliano Allegri should be getting his marching orders come Monday morning – and only a victory for Roma at home to the conquers of Cagliari will allow Luciano Spalletti to sleep easily.

Just as well the Giallorossi boss is bald, because he'd be tearing his hair out watching Cicinho doing everything humanly possible to neglect his duties as a right-back.

That apart, at the moment it’s all sweetness and light in the world of Italian football – which probably calls for another sugar in the morning cappuccino.

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Mourinho marches on, rag-tag Roma outclassed by Cluj

Riccardo Rossi — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 09:00:00 GMT

Clued in to the clueless. That seems a neat summing up of Inter and AS Roma’s first foray into the Champions League or “the Champions” as the Italians call it.

Well, certainly the two sides were a league apart in terms of their approach to their European jaunts.

While Inter were organised, neat on the ball and tireless in closing down Panathinaikos, Roma were, well, the complete opposite in their shocking home defeat to Cluj.

The Romanian champions arrived at the Olympic stadium in what was their debut in the competition, under the management of an Italian, Maurizio Trombetta, took one look at the rag-tag opposition and proceeded to play them off the park.

Romanian minnows run rings around Roma

“Roma, the big flops,” screamed La Gazzetta dello Sport. “Crisis time for Spalletti.”

Wasn’t it only a few weeks ago that Serie Aaaaargh! sat in a Roman café enthralled as a vision of beauty claimed that, quote: “Spalletti has lost the plot.”

And hasn’t she been proved so right.

A case in point during last night’s game: with his side 2-1 down early in the second half the “Bald One” has Jeremy Menez and Stefano Makinwa warming up for 20 minutes.

The clock is ticking so he looks over at the fresh-faced youths champing to get on and instead turns to Vincenzo Montella – lately of Fulham, Sampdoria and the treatment table - who, pushing 35, is slumbering on the bench.

With barely time to pull up his socks, the little striker trots on and stands around until full-time puts everyone out of their misery.

"Montella, get stripped. We need your pace up front..."

Francesco Totti was on the pitch as well but had forgotten how to kick a ball and was another ignominious figure – and just to think we came to praise Cesar.

Cue whistles, jeers and general outpourings of discontent. So, what about Spalletti to Milan and Carlo Ancelotti reborn as a winner in the capital where of course he was a well-loved player back in the 80s?

Meanwhile, Jose Mourinho can do no wrong.

In between winding Catania sporting director Pietro “the monk” Lo Monaco up, following the weekend spat at the San Siro where the Portuguese accused visiting midfielder Giacomo Tedesco of a bit of play-acting to get Sulley Muntari sent-off , he spends the rest of his time getting the best out of Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Adriano.

Yes, the very same pair who under Roberto Mancini either moped around or spent their time exiled in Brazil.

Ibrahimovic was a revelation in Greece and the way he dragged a ball down on the edge of the area, held off one challenge and flicked the ball over another defender before flicking a pass to Mancini to score, was reminiscent of a certain Marco Van Basten – another Ajax alumnus – in his prime.

Jose and Zlatan prepare to do the boogie-woogie

The “no look” pass to put Adriano clean through for the second had Mourinho off his feet and hugging the Swede in what looked like an act of unbridled love.

More likely, however, it was more a confirmation that the “Special One” is getting his message across: you can go out there and take teams apart by playing attacking football.

Belief, that’s all that is needed: Something that has sadly disappeared out the back door at Roma.

Lazio lovin' it atop the pile in Serie A

Riccardo Rossi — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 10:00:00 GMT

Well, we didn’t expect to see this after the first two games of the season: Lazio and Atalanta on top of the table on maximum points, with Torino in third.

Only the sight of Inter and Juventus, level on four points with Toro, gives the Serie A table a semblance of the old order.

Early days, of course, but a much-needed breath of fresh air is sweeping through the domestic game. While the headlines are usually given over to Jose Mourinho this, Mourinho that, Carlo Ancelotti and his ever-more floundering press conferences and the weight of expectation on Luciano Spalletti’s shoulders, it’s two craggy old bosses who are getting on with the job in hand.

Ancelotti: "It wasn't supposed to be like this..."

Atalanta coach Luigi del Neri is very much at home with provincial life, having taken Chievo to the top of the table back in 2001. The 58-year-old was a journeyman player and, as a coach, was never meant for the bright lights of the big city.

He lasted as long as it took to unpack a bag at Porto before crumbling in Rome when given his big chance at AS Roma, and was then hounded out of Palermo to return to the backwaters of Verona and more recently Bergamo.

There is no star system at Atalanta, apart from providing Christian Vieri with something of a rest home, and that’s just the way Gigi likes it. Even the team’s scorelines are generally modest: 1-0 against Siena and Bologna so far, and no doubt they'll be satisfied with a similar understated outcome at Catania on Saturday.

Del Neri: Walking tall

It’s a different matter for Delio Rossi at Lazio, where the Sky Blues are expected to actually win games – or least beat Roma twice a year. How they are crowing at the moment as they look down on their more illustrious city rivals, who are floundering in third-bottom place.

Rossi, who once stripped off to his underwear and dived into a fountain after a derby win, has had to make do with limited funds for new players but may have unearthed a real gem in Mauro Zàrate.

Apparently under-rated by Birmingham City, the Argentine scored a goal worthy of Diego Maradona in the 2-0 win over Sampdoria.

“It’s a new era here at the club,” claimed Rossi. “I have to work with the players I have been given but we have a wonderful team ethic which can take us a long way.”

Rossi: Looking on, delighted

Ancelotti would no doubt wish he could voice those same sentiments as he watched Milan sleepwalk – and in the case of Andriy Shevchenko and Ronaldinho, it was literally walking – through their defeat at Genoa.

Spalletti may be thinking the same thing after watching his side lose heavily at Palermo – which should keep the Sicilians' new coach Davide Ballardini in a job for another week.

Another one for the team, another bloody nose for the star system.

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Mundane Milan may mean arrivederci to Ancelotti

Riccardo Rossi — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 10:00:00 GMT

What better way than to spend a Wednesday evening than with a relaxing visit to Lugano?

Nestling on the shores of Lake Lugano, just across the border from Italy and known as the ‘Monte Carlo of Switzerland, it’s the perfect spot for the well-paid footballer to kick back although the players of AC Milan seem to be taking that all too literally.

"What's the score lads..."

It’s well into stoppage time and local side, AC Lugano of the Swiss Challenge League, claim to fame: former Bayern Munich coach Ottmar Hitzfeld once played for them, are leading the San Siro giants 2-0.

Picturesque setting it may be but Carlo Ancelotti has a face the look of thunder.

It was meant to be a chance to limber up for the league game at Genoa whose president Enzo Preziosi happens to own Lugano, and give Ricky Kaka a run-out.

However, the evening starts out badly and gets progressively worse for the visitors.

Firstly, Filippo Inzaghi limps off after a mere 17 minutes clutching the inside of his thigh, not a pretty sight at the best of times but particularly worrying as Serie Aaaaargh! has taken up a strategic position behind the Milan dug-out and can see that the striker is in some distress.

A few expletives later and Pippo flops down on the bench where a trainer rams an ice-pack into the offending area.

At least we’ll see Kaka make an appearance sooner than we expected but no, Ancelotti sends on some youth player to fill in up front for 20 minutes or so.

Felipe Massa checks in on best buddy Kaka

Events back on the pitch are a bit like the surroundings: all very neat and tidy but nothing much seems to be going on.

There’s Paolo Maldini, there’s Clarence Seedorf, oh look, it’s Emerson and Pato but this close-up and personal they don’t give off the air of masters of the footballing universe.

Ancelotti lays into Pato for strolling around and anyone else who comes within ear shot.

So it’s some relief then that half-time arrives and we can all have a bit of piece and quiet while Kaka goes through a few gentle stretches in between chatting with Felipe Massa of all people.

It’s the Monza Grand Prix this weekend and the little mop-haired F1 driver has taken time off from testing his Ferrari to watch his good mate in action.

Thankfully when Kaka takes the pitch he immediately draws his team-mates out of their earlier inertia.

A couple of back-heels and a thumping drive that flies past the post and nearly decapitates a photographer – much as in the Omen film although granted that was a pane of glass - are the picks of a very positive return for the World Player of the Year.

Pity about the rest of the side who troop off without seemingly a care in the world as Ancelotti fires the dagger stares at their backs and then throws a mighty strop, leaving new boy Philippe Senderos to face the press.

"Errrrmmmm..."

That snap-shot Milan catches a glimpse of a side that has become self-satisfied with the trappings of the good life and just can’t be bothered anymore.

Is it time to say arrivederci to Ancelotti? Well, defeat at Genoa and his head will really be on the block.

Look out for the names of Roberto Donadoni and Frank Rijkaard – Carlo’s old Rossoneri midfield partners – entering the frame very soon.

New Italy go gung-ho and Wenger targets a new diddyman

Riccardo Rossi — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 10:00:00 GMT

Out with brawn, in with flair. Italy may not be able to defend any more but who cares, let’s get all Brazilian and go on all-out attack.

“A swashbuckling Azzurri,” trumpeted La Gazzetta dello Sport ahead of Wednesday evening’s World Cup qualifier with Georgia. The Pink’un added: “Maximum points are needed but the time is here to start building a new and exciting side for the future.”

Marcello Lippi had already indicated that he was set to make changes following the last-gasp win in Cyprus. According to all three sports dailies – Gazzetta, Tuttosport and Corriere dello Sport – it’s an all-dancing 4-3-3 from now on, which means Mauro Camoranesi and the weekend's two-goal-hero Antonio di Natale providing support for beanpole Luca Toni in attack.

Camoranesi and Di Natale: "Look, Luca!"

Not only that but the future starts now with the previously under-employed Alberto Aquilani lining-up alongside AS Roma team-mate Daniele de Rossi and Milan’s Andrea Pirlo in midfield. Defence, who needs it? Anyway, Gigi Buffon can look after that by himself.

On a side note, Italy will spend one half of the game attacking a goal with a giant stage as the backdrop. Udinese’s Friuli stadium is the venue and it just happens that the country’s biggest-selling rocker Vasco Rossi is playing there on Friday. The man is like U2 and Coldplay rolled into one, so it has taken three days to construct the 70m-high stage. “I hope the stage brings the Azzurri good luck and doesn’t distract them,” quipped the 56-year-old, who once threatened to cancel a gig because only 80,000 tickets had been sold.

No doubt the Italy U21s were listening away to Vasco ahead of their crucial European Championship qualifier in Croatia. The young blues are through to the play-offs for the finals in Sweden following a 1-1 draw and in no small measure to another breathtaking performance from Sebastian Giovinco. However, be warned, screams Tuttosport: that thief of up and coming talent, Arsene Wenger, has got his beady eyes on the pocket-sized dribbler.

Skilful, young, tiny and foreign: just Wenger's type

Rest easy though, Juve fans: sporting director Alessio Secco has claimed that he had a contract in his pocket ready for the 21-year-old to sign by the end of the week. In fact, according to Secco the deal would have been done and dusted a few days ago if Claudio Pasqualin, one of Giovinco’s agents – for some reason he needs two – hadn’t fallen off his bike and couldn’t make the meeting.

On second thoughts, Juve fans, don’t rest easy until the little man actually signs.

By the way, Giovinco wants €1m a season, no doubt small change for Arsenal and certainly no problem for Chelsea who are reportedly ready to nap Seb’s even littler brother Giuseppe who is a carbon-copy of his older sibling. As Giovinco junior is only 17, he cannot sign professional forms in Italy until he turns 18 so Chelsea could spirit him away for zero with an offer of a tasty little contract.

Well, we started in swashbuckling fashion, so why not end with pirates?

Defence deities Italy developing cracks at the back

Riccardo Rossi — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:00:00 GMT

Cracking stuff for Italy at the weekend. Well, cracking in the sense of a broken rib, broken wrist and dislocated shoulder.

Such have been the ills and misfortunes suffered by Azzurri players Fabio Grossi, Alessandro Gamberini and Gennaro Gattuso in the last 48 hours.

While the first two suffered their injuries in the get-out-of-jail win in Cyprus which had the Italian press letting out a collective sight of relief - “Italy by the skin of their teeth,” ran the headline in Gazzetta dello Sport – the Milan man pulled off something of a freak injury.

Falling into the dug-out during a training game on Sunday, the midfield enforcer fractured his wrist and will spend the next month or so no doubt having his Rossoneri team-mates scribbling get well messages on his plaster-cast.

Fractured wrist consigns Gattuso to treatment table

Broken but not bowed is how Marcello Lippi will face Georgia on Wednesday.

There should be no repeat of the headless-chicken-defending witnessed in Cyprus as Lippi is not only touched by that magic dust of good fortune but he is not the type to make the same mistake twice.

It would be surprising if the Georgians are given the sort of space and time afforded Cyprus but while the attack and midfield have numerous options to see the world champions safely through to South Africa, it’s the traditional bedrock of the team that’s a cause for concern: the defence.

Gianluigi Buffon’s performance in Larnaca once again strengthened his status as the world’s best goalkeeper and to replace Dino Zoff as the country’s all-time number one.

However, after that it’s all looking a bit creaky at the back. Apart from Alessandro Nesta and Massimo Oddo, Lippi has retained the backbone of what has become known as “The Berlin Wall” – the heroes of 2006.

None are getting any younger and where are the new generation to replace the ageing Fabio Cannavaro and Marco Materazzi?

Only 24-year-old Giorgio Chiellini, currently out injured, seems a viable long-term option in the heart of the defence.

Chiellini: The future of Italian football

Gamberini is 27 and, despite some sterling displays with Fiorentina, seems to have that fragility which has hindered both Andrea Barzagli and Daniele Bonera’s progress at international level.

Nicolo Legrottaglie will probably start alongside Cannavaro against Georgia but he has turned 31 and may not even be a Juventus regular for much longer.

Seeing that Italy’s World Cup successes in 1986 and 2006 was built around an impenetrable defence, it does not bode well that so few young defenders are making the leap into the starting line-ups of top sides.

Inter, Roma and Milan can field a backline of foreign imports without a thought for local talent but it’s the coach’s job to unearth a few gems so let’s hope that Lippi luck is shining on him.

Spalletti takes a spanking after just one game

Riccardo Rossi — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 10:00:00 GMT

The traditional late August start to Serie A means that it’s back to the beach as the league closes down for the international break.

Well, summer is winding down and with Italy off to Cyprus for what should be a winning start to the defence of their World Cup crown, fans up and down the country are at a loose end.

Well, they are going to have to get used to it because the way things are going travelling support will become a thing of the past.

Following Napoli’s duel in the sun last Sunday, not only are the fans of the southern club banned from away games for the rest of the season, but when the action resumes next weekend no Fiorentina supporters will be allowed into the San Paolo while their AC Milan counterparts will not grace the streets of Genoa.

Napoli fans banned... and they aren't the only ones

All high-risk games will now fall under the same jurisdiction, so looking at the rest of September, no Inter fans at Torino, Lazio at Milan, Fiorentina at Lazio and so forth right up to the Milan derby on the 28th.

There will be a further review ahead of the Milanese showdown so maybe as with most draconian measures in Italy they will be quickly be forgotten until the next time.

It’s difficult to dwell on all this negativity so early in the new campaign, not when Serie Aaaaargh! is sitting in a café on one of the side-streets off Rome’s stunning Piazza Navona, watching a drop-dead gorgeous girl administer a good lashing to Luciano Spalletti.

Not literally, of course, as the Roma coach is no where to be seen and the lashing is strictly of the verbal variety.

However, what you have is someone a million miles removed from the usual image of the Italian football fan.

Okay, taking away the fact that she could grace the cover of an fashion magazine, it’s the passion for her team that really grabs your attention - I am being serious so stop sniggering!

"Come on, they're nothing more than a overpaid pub team..."

The regulars are all in agreement when our dream fan complains that the Roma boss should have played Julio Baptista through the middle against Napoli and moved the speedy Mirko Vucinic out to the left when the visitors had right-sided defender Fabiano Santacroce sent-off.

Spot on you have to say but then there’s hardly a murmur of dissent when she drops the bombshell that Spalletti has lost the plot.

What, have we missed something here? Is this the same Luciano Spalletti who took the Romans to runners-up spot, the quarter-finals of Champions League and victory in the Italian Cup?

Well, as they say, dalle stelle alle stalle (from the stars to the stables) but in the course of one game?

“It’s not just one game,” Miss Calico Know-it-all opines. “Didn’t he keep switching players around in the Super Cup? I don’t know if he can get the best out of these players."

“Baptista hasn’t a clue what is going on – he’s like a fish out of water.”

Spalletti: On the receiving end already

The local radio have been humming with similar disgruntled Romanisti and this is probably the first time we have heard such open criticism of the shaven-head boss in his three-year reign.

The vexing problem of Francesco Totti’s injury problems hang heavily over any discussion on Roma’s chances of grabbing a major prize this season – and for la bella raggaza in the bar, a longing look at a photo of her hero on the wall tells us where her heart lies.

Then again, one glance at Aphrodite would probably have Signor Spalletti swooning to ensure he retains the love of the Romans.