The pot-bellied fat-bottomed Premier Review
Tuesday 23 March 2010 11:22
While Chelsea are doing their best to enter the challenge for fourth spot, Manchester United stayed at the summit.
Congratulations must go to defender Nemanja Vidic who managed to stay on the field for the full 90 minutes against Liverpool for the first time in two seasons. Wayne Rooney added another goal to his impressive tally, tapping in the rebound from his saved penalty.
Liverpool striker Fernando Torres showed referee Howard Webb just what he thought of his decision to award the spot-kick by taking a swipe at the penalty spot. The Reds would have gone home with a point if only, in the dying minutes, Torres had connected as cleanly with the ball.
Old Trafford is looking more like Carrow Road every week. The Draw Specialist is all for the fans of Manchester United protesting about how their club is being run and how much debt the club has taken, but you have to laugh when TV cameras scan the Stretford End revealing that half of the fans holding green and gold scarves aloft are wearing shirts and tracksuits with AIG all over them. Just where do they think the money’s going?
While Liverpool slip away from that vital fourth spot, Spurs did their chances no harm with a 2-1 away win at Stoke. It looks like Harry Redknapp has pulled another masterstroke with the loan deal of Eidur Gudjohnsen, who was pivotal to their win at the Britannia: the Icelander coolly finished the first, then dummied the Stoke defence to setup Niko Kranjcar’s winner.
Spurs’ North London neighbours Arsenal kept their title dreams alive, brushing aside West Ham and plunging them deeper into the relegation dogfight. Visitors to the Emirates usually enjoy the stadium's great sightlines, but this Saturday there were plenty of restricted views, coinciding with the coming together of Sol Campbell’s and Mido’s backsides. It’s no wonder Nike and Umbro’s profits have gone down this year: even Eddie Izzard can’t come up with that much material.
Apparently nothing gets a team fired up more than the appointment of a new manager; in fear of losing their place, players look to impress their new boss by going out and battering their next opponents, or maybe trying a little harder than they have all season.
Admitting that they must stay up at all costs, Hull appointed Iain Dowie, whose managerial record includes 15-day stints in charge of Charlton and QPR; presumably Bryan Robson, Peter Reid, Glenn Hoddle and Steve Coppell were all busy.
With two minutes left at Fratton Park on Saturday, it looked like Dowie would be leading his new side to a 2-1 victory – but up popped Jamie O’Hara and Kanu to spoil the party, O’Hara’s free kick being the goal of the week. Pompey move onto 13 points, so if they win every remaining game they'll get 37 points, while Dowie will already be preaching “Bouncebackability”.
And finally, during the 2006 World Cup, Premier League referee Graham Poll dished out three yellow cards to the same player, which killed his dream of taking charge of the final. So to save embarrassment for this summer's representative in South Africa, Howard Webb, here’s a diagram explaining where the Penalty area is and which areas penalties and free-kicks should be awarded in. Oh and having a linesman named Malarkey is never a good idea.
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About Rob Carey
Behind Alan Shearer, Rob is hoping to become England’s second most famous son of a sheet metal worker. He spent most of his childhood worshipping Kenny Dalglish, running around muddy pitches, collecting Panini football stickers, and drawing the weekend’s football highlights in stickmen form.
Today he can be found in California worshipping the sun, hobbling through an over-30s’ match, collecting injuries, and drawing the weekend’s football highlights in stickmen form. He certainly wouldn’t say no to anyone offering him enormous sums of money to turn his blog
One Pound The Large Flag into a book.