Premier Sketch: Seven-goal hauls, Carlo Raddishlotti & snoods
Wednesday 01 December 2010 12:21
Well it looks like Fergie owes Sam Allardyce another couple of
bottles of red wine after his side went back to the top of the table
with a shocking 7-1 win over Big Sam’s Blackburn.
Rovers will be
cursing the icy conditions as they seem to be the one thing that makes
Dimitar Berbatov break into a jog. The Bulgarian helped himself to a
staggering five goals, keeping United fans off his back for another week
or so and, according to Sky TV who invented football in the early 90’s,
equalling the English record amount of goals in a game.
If
Arsenal’s Ted Drake was alive today you can be sure he’d mention his seven-goal haul against Villa. As for Big Sam, well it looks like his rant
about coaching Real Madrid might not be too far off the mark, Real’s
similarly pathetic 5-0 defeat in Monday night’s El Clasico proved that
the Rovers’ boss would fit in quite nicely.
Over
in the posh part of London, just what are Chelsea playing at? After a
1-1 draw away to Newcastle, they’ve now gone three weeks without a
league win.
Just a few weeks ago Carlo Ancelotti was being hailed
by the tabloids as a managerial genius and one of the greatest coaches
in Premier League history (there they go again) - now it’s only a matter
of time before they give him the Graham Taylor treatment and start
turning his name into a vegetable. Carlo Raddishlotti, anybody?
More
comedy defending by the Blues lead to Newcastle’s opener with a mix up
between Cech and Alex gifting Andy Carroll a simple tap in.
Plenty
of contenders for goal of the week; Bolton duo Martin Petrov and Mark
Davies score tremendous goals against Blackpool, but West Bromwich
Albion’s Youssouf Mulumbu’s chipped (albeit deflected) effort finished
off a wonderful flowing move and just about pushes out team mate Chris
Brunt’s free kick (which is more than can be said for Everton keeper Tim
Howard…).
It
was a memorable game for the Albion substitute, who earned himself a
second yellow card just minutes after picking up a first caution for
celebrating his fabulous goal. Don’t those rules just make perfect
sense? A yellow card for enjoying scoring a goal but a mouthful of
verbals directed at the lineman gets completely ignored, very sensible.
Finally,
you may have noticed that it’s starting to get a tiny bit chilly in
Britain, but Jack Frost isn’t the only nasty thing creeping onto Premier
League pitches these days, and just like the Blob there’s a real worry
that it’s spreading and getting out of control.
First we had the tights, then came gloves and now the latest football craze that’s in danger of sweeping the nation, the Snood!
Parents
beware, if your child adores Tevez, Nasri, Rooney, or even Craig Gordon
be prepared to spend a little extra this Christmas to get the snood
that matches the replica kit.
Tags: Chelsea, Manchester United, Dimitar Berbatov, Tim Howard, Sam Allardyce, Carlos Tevez, Newcastle United, alex, Wayne Rooney, Andy Carroll, Blackburn Rovers, Chris Brunt, Martin Petrov, Craig Gordon, Petr Cech, Ted Drake, Samir Nasri, Carlo Ancelotti, Youssouf Mulumbu, Mark Davies
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About Rob Carey
Behind Alan Shearer, Rob is hoping to become England’s second most famous son of a sheet metal worker. He spent most of his childhood worshipping Kenny Dalglish, running around muddy pitches, collecting Panini football stickers, and drawing the weekend’s football highlights in stickmen form.
Today he can be found in California worshipping the sun, hobbling through an over-30s’ match, collecting injuries, and drawing the weekend’s football highlights in stickmen form. He certainly wouldn’t say no to anyone offering him enormous sums of money to turn his blog
One Pound The Large Flag into a book.