The Noise from Brazil

Same old Ronaldo, always scoring...

Celso de Campos Jr — Fri, 01 May 2009 07:00:00 GMT

We could start by talking about Cruzeiro's 5-0 humiliation of Atlético in the Minas Gerais State Championship final first leg last weekend.

Or discuss the electrifying 2-2 draw between Botafogo and Flamengo in a hot and jam-packed Maracanã.

But it's virtually impossible to ignore, once again, Ronaldo.

Ladies and gentlemen, don your gala suits before watching the buck-toothed virtuoso's latest moment of magic.

It was Ronnie’s second in a 3-1 Corinthians victory against Santos in the first leg of the São Paulo State Championship, all-but securing the Parque São Jorge squad the crown. Santos will only seize it off them if they win 3-0 in the second leg – which won’t happen, at least not in this geologic time.

“It’s good to have a king’s day in the king’s house,” said Ronaldo after being informed that Pelé was watching the game in Vila Belmiro, and left early after Fatso had finished Santos off with his second blow.

Isn’t it fantastic?

A little more than a year ago, the newspapers printed the image of a fallen Ronaldo crying in the San Siro pitch suffering from another painful potential career-ending injury. And many, many journalists were quickly fighting for the dubious privilege of forecasting the end of the player’s glorious career.

The Noise from Brazil wisely advised people not to bet against him back in February 2008. And now we’ll attempt to make you rich once and for all.

Put all your money on Ronnie starting in Brazil’s World Cup opener in South Africa next year wearing the No.9 shirt.

If he’s alive, fit (anywhere in the vicinity of 100 kilos is fine!) and sane enough to spot the difference between a football and a watermelon, he’ll be there.

After all, there’s only one Ronaldo. Accept no substitutes.

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Shock! Pele nails prediction in State Championships

Celso de Campos Jr — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

Wow!

The last time we spoke, I was telling you how the foreplay of the Brazilian season was over. But no one imagined the climax would arrive so fast… and be so good.

We’re still three weeks away from the beginning of the National Championship, Brazil’s main prize. But after last weekend, there’s no doubt the real season is already up and running.

The State Championships' final showdowns have been by far the most exciting in years, especially in São Paulo where the two semi-finals between the top four literally stopped the traffic.

(To prevent urban fighting, police blocked some São Paulo streets before the games so the ultras could march to the stadiums without clashing with their rivals. Scary.)

"Coming through..."

Corinthians and Santos, 3rd and 4th following the first phase, successfully saw off São Paulo and Palmeiras, 2nd and 1st.

The second leg of the Palmeiras vs Santos semi-final last weekend had it all: Neymar and Madson showcasing their talents, a display of incompetence from the Brazilian referee, who caused this year’s top pitch brawl – with Palmeiras’ Diego Souza going nuts with Santos’ Domingos poor acting.

And to wrap things up, a monumental blunder from Santos keeper Fabio Costa. Luckily for him, no Palmeiras players were anywhere to be seen, so Santos' ticket to the final wasn’t threatened.

Then, in last Sunday's semi-final, Corinthians rolled over São Paulo with Ronaldo doing his talking on the pitch after a São Paulo director had said the ace was an “ex-player.”

Ronnie scored the second after outrunning defender Rodrigo in such a speedy fashion that Corinthians coach Mano Menezes exclaimed: “You’re fast, fatso!”

The most amazing thing about a Corinthians vs Santos final this year is that Pelé had actually predicted it months ago. So naturally no one thought it would happen, given the King’s notoriously bad forecasting.

Now he says Santos will take home the trophy. Will Pelé nail it for a second time? Hmm… Corinthians fans are already celebrating.

Ronaldo goes turbo to see off Sao Paulo

Over in Rio de Janeiro, an own goal from Botafogo’s Emerson against Flamengo set up a two-legged final re-match: Bota and Fla will play over the next two Sundays to decide who rules Rio de Janeiro – similar to what Cruzeiro and Atlético Mineiro will do in the Minas Gerais state.

However, some titles have already been decided.

In Pernambuco, Sport Recife won their fourth crown in a row. But the biggest display of supremacy came from Rio Grande do Sul. Pay attention.

Centennial Internacional massacred poor Caxias 8-1 in the final of the second phase of the State Championship.

Since they had already won the first leg 7-0, they took home the trophy to add to their ever-expanding cabinet.

Suprisingly, Caxias coach Argel - the former Porto, Benfica, Palmeiras, Santos and Internacional defender - wasn’t ashamed after the hammering. In fact, during the week he had already predicted the Inter triumph.

“What could we do? Internacional is the best team in the world right now. Period. I watch the Spanish Championship, the Italian Championship, the English Championship, and there’s no one there better than Inter. They will win the National Championship, easy.”

Since he’s no Pelé, we should at least give him some credit.

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State Championship showdowns for Brazil's big boys

Celso de Campos Jr — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 11:00:00 GMT

So futebol fans, after two months of foreplay the State Championships contenders have finally been narrowed down.

And, unlike last year, all the powerhouses are alive and kicking in the main tournaments – this time no Cinderella survived to tell the tale.

In São Paulo, for the first time since the 2000 season, each one of the Big Four have qualified for the semi-finals.

Palmeiras (who finished 1st in the initial phase) face Santos (4th), while São Paulo (2nd) plays Corinthians (3rd). The two-legged semis will be played over this weekend and next.

I wouldn't dare make any predictions – except that we’re set to see a fantastic battle of the centre-forwards.

Keirrison, Kleber Pereira, Washington and Ronaldo are all stellar No.9s. And since their strengths are obvious, it’s up to the defenses to step up to the plate.

Keirrison vs Ronaldo in the final?

In Rio de Janeiro, the top dogs have also progressed.

Vasco and Botafogo meet in one semi-final of the Taça Rio (the State Championship second phase). Flamengo and Fluminense clash in the other.

The winners of these one-legged ties then face each other in the final, with the Taça Rio champion then playing Botafogo (winners of the Taça Guanabara, the first phase) in the grand final of the State Championship.

(Unless, of course, Botafogo wins the Taça Rio, in which case there will be no need for a final. We don't yet know if the Brazilian football authorities are masterminding a scheme that obliges a team that wins both phases to play against themselves. But don’t rule it out.)

I’ll take my chances here and tip Vasco to triumph in the Taça Rio – and also to beat Botafogo in the grand final.

Over in Minas Gerais, both Cruzeiro and Atlético have cruised into the semi-finals.

Cruzeiro demolished poor Tupi 8-2 on aggregate in the quarter-finals, while Atlético trounced Uberaba 7-0 over two legs.

But the safe bet to win the title is, once again, Cruzeiro. Easy.

Internacional tipped for the trophy

The only big name to have already kissed goodbye to State Championship success is Grêmio. And in the most painful way their fans could have imagined.

After being pounded 4-0 by minnows Caxias in the first phase, Grêmio had to face their deadly foes Internacional in the quarter-finals of the Rio Grande do Sul – a single tie in Beira-Rio, Internacional’s home.

Last Saturday, Internacional celebrated their centenary. So the chance for Gremio to pour cold water all over their enemy’s party beer was there – but they lost 2-1, their fourth consecutive defeat to their rivals in the 'Gre-nal' derby.

After the game, coach Celso Roth was sacked, with the club's directors now running after Renato Gaúcho, former Grêmio idol, who led Fluminense to the Copa Libertadores final last season.

Partying Internacional will now face small Canoas, with the other semi-final being between Caxias and Juventude.

And I’ll bet 100 percent that Internacional will roll over them all to take home the trophy. They’d better buy more beer – the celebrations won’t end quickly.

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A topsy-turvy week on the road to South Africa

Celso de Campos Jr — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:00:00 GMT

During this past World Cup Qualifiers week, Brazil and Argentina switched roles as fast as you can say “hand me an oxygen mask!”

Last Sunday, most of the South American press – including members of the astigmatic Brazilian press corps – slammed Brazil's players for their performance against Ecuador (1-1 in Quito) while praising the Argentina squad for their easy win over Venezuela (4-0 in Buenos Aires).

In truth, Ecuador blitzed Brazil during every one of the 90 minutes, and it was thanks to sheer luck – and the fantastic form of Inter keeper Julio Cesar – that Dunga’s Seleção didn’t leave the thin air of Quito with a hard defeat.

On the other hand, Argentina, playing against the dead chickens of Venezuela, cruised to a 4-0 win. Messi, Aguero, Tevez and Maradona received the ovations as the team of the future, the paradigm of football, the squad every other nation should look up to.

“Showgol," announced the Argentinian newspaper Olé.

March 29: All's well in Argentina...

I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m still amazed at the ability of the press to jump to conclusions so quickly.

Never mind that Ecuador has a strong, competitive squad, and that Quito is 2,850 metres up a mountain. Brazilian players were rapped for not playing the “beautiful game” as if they were volleying on a Rio de Janeiro beach.

But time is the best teacher, they say, and this time he was in a hurry. Three days later, the South American football world was turned upside down.

The brilliant Argentina got pounded, hammered, battered 6-1 (6-1!) by a below-average Bolivia up in La Paz (3,600 metres above sea level).

And Brazil cruised to a 3-0 home win against Peru in Porto Alegre, climbing to second place in the 10-team CONMEBOL group. Argentina dropped to the fourth and final qualifying spot, being leapfrogged by Chile as well.

The Brazilian press suddenly started to celebrate – the Lance! newspaper teased the neighbors with the cover (“9 US, 1 THEM” combining the results of the two matches). The Argentinians were so lost that they couldn’t find the words to describe the blow.

...April 2: Everything's brilliant in Brazil

Of course it was an extraordinary score, boosted by the home side's experience of playing at altitude in La Paz – a controversial advantage for which Maradona, before taking his present job, campaigned against alongside Bolivian president Evo Morales.

But no first-class team, even playing in Mount Everest against the Yeti All-Stars, can concede six goals.

So I guess it’s clear now that Argentina has a lot to prove – proving completely wrong those who bought into the illusion created by two or three good performances by Maradona’s boys.

Meanwhile, Brazil's triumph against Peru was as dull as it could get. A 3-0 win against the continent’s worst team is actually the minimum respectful score.

So there’s nothing to get very excited about – no more than the recent triumphs against Portugal, Argentina and Italy, conquered despite the indecipherable tactics of coach Dunga. Don’t hold your breath.

Bottom line is: Ronaldinho, Robinho, Kaká, Adriano & Co. may not be flying high like some years ago. But they have already done (and won) enough to earn respect from press and fans.

With the help of the new generation – with Keirrison, Hernanes and Nilmar all waiting for Dunga to wake up – Brazil is as dangerous now as any other side in the world, if not more.

Argentina currently has all the hype with Messi and Aguero, and of course the charismatic presence of Diego Maradona on the bench – which is as imposing as it can be, considering the kind of player he was.

But they have to win something. Otherwise the hype will be just... hype.

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Pele, Robinho, Neymar: Lightning strikes thrice

Celso de Campos Jr — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 09:00:00 GMT

Word in Santos is that lightning doesn’t strike twice.

However, the locals are pretty sure that Vila Belmiro has now been hit a third time by the atmospheric electricity discharged by the gods of the beautiful game.

The first phenomenon occured 50 years ago, when a small boy from Minas Gerais nicknamed Gasolina (Portuguese word for gas) first arrived to practice with Santos’ big boys. Less than a year later, at the 1958 World Cup in Sweden, the world was introduced to Pelé.

Almost four decades passed before the second bolt came smacking. A skin-and-bone forward, born and bred in Santos, was whisked from the youth team by coach Leão to play in the 2002 Brazilian Championship.

Dazzling the whole country, Robinho helped guide the club to its first modern-era national title – which they would win again in 2004. Pelé’s heir, in his own words.

Pele, circa 1960

And now, once again, Santos have another new star. It's the same old story: a young man who's barely left his nappies, a walking skeleton, the good son of a humble family. The name is Neymar. Remember it.

Santos fans don't doubt that he's destined for greatness. Neymar, who has only recently turned 17, has been considered the next big thing for several years. Pelé and Robinho have been watching him closely – getting his shot at the big time was merely a matter of time.

So when FourFourTwo was selecting the South American wonderkids for the April special issue - in shops now - Neymar had not played a single game in Santos' first team.

But the starlet's opportunity to shine came soon after. Coach, Marcio Fernandes had already announced his plans to call the young ace up. But he was fired and quickly replaced by talented young gaffer Vagner Mancini, who didn’t plan on delaying Neymar's debut – if anything he brought it further forward.

Neymar was named as a substitute on March 7, in a Saturday night game against Oeste. The 20,000 fans jam-packed in the Pacaembu stadium in São Paulo were chanting his name even before kick-off. I’ve never seen such an ovation for a player who had yet to play a professional match.

He came on in the 59th minute and changed the game – from a boring 0-0 to an exciting 2-1 win. Neymar’s smooth passing and raw dribbling skills are very, very similar to a young Robinho.

“I love being compared to him. Who wouldn’t?” asks the new hero.

The following Thursday, in a home game against Paulista, gaffer Mancini kept his gem on the bench again. “Last game he was decisive and turned the game for us. But he’s still developing. Now he’s our top forward threat, but I want him to come in step by step,” he said.

Neymar heard his name chanted by the fans until he was thrown on in the second half with Santos trailing 1-0. And, once again, he changed the pace of the game. The home side managed to salvage a draw with a Roni goal. But by now the kid was ready. Mancini had reached the point of no return.

Robinho stars for Santos, 2003

Last Sunday, Neymar started... and scored the last in Santos' 3-0 victory over Mogi Mirim in São Paulo.

He celebrated by punching the air, Pelé’s trademark. But it was a double tribute – to Pelé, of course, and to Neymar’s deceased grandfather Ildemar. He had the King as his idol. And now the King is a fan of his grandson.

“It was a trip down to memory lane. The kid who left home at 17, same age as Neymar, coming to practice at Santos and in the same year making the national team. I was touched by Neymar’s tribute. That’s one of the good things of life, specially coming from a teenager”, said a touched Pelé.

Neymar’s now bound to start next weekend’s crunch clash against Corinthians... and his idol Ronaldo. Another clash of generations.

After the match last Sunday, I was eating pizza at a restaurant near Pacaembu stadium when a group of three old-school Santos fans entered smiling from ear to ear, greeting every customer, flabbergasted with the win.

One of them was donning the Santos white shirt with the name 'NEYMAR' on the back. The guy was 85-years-old.

From somewhere in the salon, I overheard the comment: “This Neymar should be the real deal indeed. Our friend here saw Pelé play, perhaps even Dondinho (Pelé’s father, also a footballer). He wouldn’t stain his Santos shirt with the name of a John Doe.”

Hard to argue...

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FourFourTwo’s April issue, out now, is a South America special.

It features the 10 best new wonderkids from that continent, including exclusive interviews with Manchester United’s twins Fabio and Rafael da Silva plus Sao Paolo’s £100m-rated “new Kaka” Hernanes.

There are also interviews with Zico and Socrates; a look at the Boca Juniors academy responsible for Tevez, Burdisso, Gago, Banega et al; and the Lord of the Rings star so dedicated to Argentine outfit San Lorenzo that he bunked off a film set to see them play.

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Ronaldo returns... and he still knows where the net is

Celso de Campos Jr — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:00:00 GMT

Several Palmeiras fans attempted to disguise their disappointment with the heart-breaking injury-time equaliser in the derby against Corinthians with a light-hearted joke at the expense of their own executioner.

"The ref should have disallowed the goal... there were two balls on the pitch."

One of them, of course, being the amazing Ronaldo, who came off the bench to equalise in the 92nd minute, denying Palmeiras a fifth consecutive win against their arch rivals.

Ronnie wheels away after heading home late leveller...

Sure, Ronaldo is out of shape. His belly is still protuberant. In fact, he’s so fat the fence he climbed to celebrate his goal didn’t take the weight and fell apart.

And it doesn’t help that the Phenomenon still can’t stay out of trouble off the pitch.

But, in just his second game after returning from a third potential career-ending injury following more than a year out of action, he showed the world once more that he still knows where the net is.

Before scoring, he had already hit a missile that cannoned back off the crossbar, and twice mesmerised Palmeiras’ defense with his trademark dribbling.

Palmeiras gaffer Vanderlei Luxemburgo, who coached the Phenomenon both with Brazil and at Real Madrid, spoke about his former charge after the game.

“An overweight Ronaldo is very dangerous," he said. "A fit Ronaldo is unstoppable. I’ll tell you something: if he wants, if he decides to be a football athlete once again, he’ll be at the 2010 World Cup, for sure. Ronaldo fields himself.”

...and brings half the stadium down celebrating

Alongside him in attack for the Samba Boys, I hope, will be Brazil’s new striking sensation, Palmeiras forward Keirrison – who couldn’t escape the ferocious Corinthians back-line, although he did set up Diego Souza’s opening goal.

During the week, Ronaldo had praised Keirrison as one of Brazil’s finest centre-forwards, with flattering compliments that made Keirrison run over to the veteran and thank him for his kindness at half-time.

And after the game, Keirrison, who had already revealed that Ronaldo was his inspiration as a kid, returned the compliment.

“We knew that if we let Ronaldo free, he would score. He’s got huge talent.”

Only time will tell whether Ronaldo can keep it up. But he showed us once again, it’s down to him and him alone.

"There's only one Ronaldo!"

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FourFourTwo’s April issue, out now, is a South America special.

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Tracking down English football's first ever Brazilian

Celso de Campos Jr — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 12:00:00 GMT

Ever since I started writing for FourFourTwo back in 2003, I'd always been keen to track down and report on the whereabouts of Mirandinha, the first Brazilian ever to play in England; the forefather of Juninho, Silvinho, Anderson, Robinho et all.

I was a 10 year-old football connoisseur when little Mira left Palmeiras for Newcastle in 1987. And I remember reading all the stories about his Tyneside tales in the Brazilian press, who were all over the national star plying his trade overseas.

Articles emerged about exchanging shinpads with Gary Lineker. "It was a great deal! My pair was old and rubbish, and his was shiny, brand new", he said back then. Good times.

But Mirandinha then fell out with the coach and returned to Palmeiras, where the greedy striker was never to be the same again.

Bamboozling Chelsea in '87

He went back and forth, playing for Corinthians, Fortaleza, Japan, everywhere and anywhere - all unimpressive stints. And after retirement the wannabe coach completely disappeared off the radar.

So I started chasing him, but he was hard to catch, slippery in fact.

With my first attempt, I discovered that he was in Egypt, but reaching his club, Al Ahly, was proving as difficult as making him pass the ball. So I gave up.

A couple of years later, I decided to give it another shot, and had the brilliant idea of calling up his first club here in São Paulo state, Palmeiras of São João da Boa Vista.

It's a small team from a small town; surely people would know what the town’s old hero would be up to?

But, surprise surprise, the guy I spoke to explained that Mirandinha was black-listed in the province. "You can't even say his name here!"

I found out that Mirandinha had escaped to North Brazil with another lady, leaving his wife - who was a cherished native of São João da Boa Vista - completely unassisted.

(I learned later that his new fling was a young model who had just won a beauty pageant contest in the Amazonas State... Atta boy!)

So I headed north, where an obscure newspaper reported that he was working as a coach at a small club in Manaus, the capital of Amazonas, right in the jungle.

I called the club and, in a flash, they slipped me Mirandinha's home telephone number.

So I phoned him, filled with excitement. And old lady answered. It was Mirandinha's new mother-in-law. A very kind woman, who said the ace was not home. I asked when he would be back.

"Not soon, son. He left yesterday... to Malaysia.”

She told me to call back in a few days – so she would give me the number as soon as he and her daughter had established themselves there. I duly obliged, and when I got it, discovered it was a giant, 25-digit number.

I called over and over, and no one ever answered it. Once again, I gave up.

There was a third and a fourth time, and again no luck.

In coaching mode for Fortaleza

So it was a fitting coincidence that when FourFourTwo decided to run a South America special issue, and that Mirandinha was within reach again – working as an assistant coach at Fortaleza, a big team from North-east Brazil, who had been relegated to the second division a couple of seasons ago.

Chatting with Mirandinha was a blast. We spent around four hours talking on the phone over two calls. After all, there was two decades of catching up to do.

He’s a very articulated and intelligent guy, extremely well informed about English football – where he hopes to work again someday.

You can read all about Mira’s adventures in current issue of FourFourTwo, including his theory about NOT being a greedy player.

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FourFourTwo’s April issue, out now, is a South America special.

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The top five Argentinians ever to set foot in Brazil

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:30:00 GMT

First, let’s get one thing straight.

Despite the huge, intense, fierce rivalry between Brazil and Argentina, I personally don’t hold any grudge against the Argentinians. After all, our hermanos – the brothers from the South – in addition to being such nice people, haven’t put up much of a fight on the football field lately.

The two last Copa America meetngs (in 2004 and 2007) and the 2005 Confederations Cup 4-1 massacre kind of softened my feelings towards them. Poor guys.

And it's more than 20 years since their last World Cup win, while in that time the Seleção have snatched two more crowns, making it an unsurpassed five in total.

Baptista cracks home opener in 2007 Copa America

And that’s why in this blog I’ll celebrate the spirit of Argentinian football, highlighting those clever guys who over the years have landed in Brazil looking to elevate their game.

Here's my list of the top five Argentinians ever to feature in Brazil... including the only foreigner to have coached the Seleção in its near 100-year history.

Carlitos Tevez

By far the most successful hermano in the land of the samba football, ever.

The former Boca Juniors star and future West Ham and Manchester United hero was an instant hit with Corinthians. Alongside fellow countryman Javier Mascherano, Quasimodo led the Parque São Jorge squad to the 2005 Brazilian Championship title and was honoured as the best player of the tournament.

Because of that, some Corinthians die-hard fans even bastardised the sacred Brazil yellow shirt with the Argentinian's name and ugly face. But three seasons later, Corinthians was relegated to the second division.

A lesson never to be forgotten.

Corinthians fans do the unthinkable

Victor Alejandro Mancuso

No one in Brazil had ever heard of the bulky-sized, long-haired midfielder before Palmeiras snapped him from Boca in 1995.

He wasn’t very gifted and sometimes mistook football for kung-fu (well, he’s an Argentinian defensive midfielder), but his most distinctive characteristic was his giant heart.

Mancuso had no problem sweating blood if required, with the image of him crying on the pitch after a Palmeiras defeat etched in fans’ memories. Now he’s assistant coach to Diego Maradona at the Argentinian national team, surely to whisper to the players all the secrets he learned while playing in the land of the pentacampeões.

Antonio Sastre

We've gone all the way back to the 1940s to remember the first Argentinian to make the headlines in Brazil.

Sastre was a heroic centre-forward for Independiente, and was brought to Brazil in 1943 (when he was a 32-year old veteran) to help ending São Paulo’s title drought.

The Brazilian press mocked the signing, saying that “Sastre would be a deSastre.” But he answered his critics on the pitch, helping the Tricolor to win the 1943, 1945 and 1946 State Championships.

In a game against Portuguesa Santista, he scored six goals, still a club record. “El Maestro” became so popular in São Paulo that a club director started a campaign to nominate him for the Nobel Prize!

Agustín Mario Cejas

Several Argentinian keepers have starred in Brazil, most notably the 1978 World Cup winner Ubaldo Fillol (Flamengo 1984-85) and Edgardo Andrada (Vasco 1968-1945), famous for being the glove-man who conceded Pelé’s 1000th goal.

But Agustín Mario Cejas (Santos 1970-73) was the most acknowledged of them all.

The Racing Club academy alumni (with his trademark sideburns) played alongside Pelé and became the first goalkeeper, in 1973, to receive the National Championship best player award. He is also one of just two Argentinians ever graced with the honour, the second being Tevez 22 years later.

Cejas lines up alongside Brazil's finest

Don Filpo Nuñez

In the 1950s, a young Argentinian by the name of Filpo Nuñez arrived in Brazil to pursue a coaching career following a stint with Velez Sarsfield.

After jobs at Cruzeiro, Guarani and Vasco, he arrived at Palmeiras in 1964 and started molding one of the club’s greatest squads, which would become part of Brazil’s football history as the “Academy of Football”.

The following year, Palmeiras were invited to represent the national team in the inauguration of the Mineirão Stadium in Belo Horizonte – and Don Filpo became the first (and so far only) foreigner ever to coach the Seleção, leading Palmeiras-slash-Brazil to a 3-0 rout of Uruguay.

After that, he coached several Brazilian squads, including Corinthians, Coritiba and Santo André. In fact, the Buenos Aires-born coach decided to remain in Brazil even after his retirement.

“I’ll only leave Brazil with my feet first – inside a coffin,” he said. Indeed, Don Filpo Nuñez died in São Paulo in 1999.

Filpo Nuñez: Brazil's only overseas coach

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Who’s hot and who’s not in Brazil so far

Celso de Campos Jr — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 10:00:00 GMT

Fellow Brazilian football fans, the Carnival's now over, which means the season can really start to get going.

We’ve merely been warming up since January, since the beginning of the State Championships. And now that Ash Wednesday has been and gone we'll take a look at who’s hot and who’s not so far.

Flamengo, for instance, started on fire, as the only team undefeated in the Rio de Janeiro tournament's first phase.

But they lost their rhythm on Carnival Saturday in their one-legged semi-final, getting knocked out by minnows Resende 3-1 in the Maracanã Stadium, making headache meds more popular than condoms for the first time ever in Rio at this time of the year!

"Not tonight love, I've got a headache"

Since pre-season, Cruzeiro were considered one of the favourites in Brazil. The signing of bad boy Kleber, who starred last year as Edmundo’s heir in Palmeiras, empowered them even more.

And they’ve not been disappointing their fans, with The Fox hammering Estudiantes 3-0 in their opening Copa Libertadores clash, with Kleber – dubbed the 'Gladiator' – bagging a brace. Thumbs up!

Down South, Internacional, with one of the best squads in the country with Nilmar, Alex, left-back Kleber, Guinazu, D’Alessandro and young sensation Taison, remained undefeated in the State Championships.

But then in the Copa do Brasil – the country's version of the FA Cup – they lost 1-0 to União from Mato Grosso, becoming the only Serie A team to fall at the first hurdle.

Nilmar (right) guides Internacional to unbeaten league start

Palmeiras have had their best start since the 1920’s, winning their opening nine matches – seven in the São Paulo State Championship, two in the Libertadores.

They could not make it a perfect 10, though, losing to, Libertadores holders, LDU in Ecuador 3-2 last Wednesday.

However, not even the tie against Portuguesa at the weekend is keeping the fans away, who are excited with a team where, young sensations, Keirrison and Cleiton Xavier combine with, veterans, Marcos and Edmilson, who both featured in Brazil's triumphant 2002 World Cup squad.

Keirrison: Brazil's hottest property right now?

Speaking of that side, there’s one man yet to feature this year.

Fat-turned-to-fit Ronaldo (at least for now) is expected to make his debut with Corinthians in the derby against Palmeiras on March 8. He’ll travel with the team for the first time this week, so the Phenomenon can remember the “smell of the game,” as coach Mano Menezes put it.

Ronaldo and Keirrison going head-to-head is not one to be missed.

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Beautiful Brazil won't succeed under dull Dunga

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 12:00:00 GMT

There is more than 11 reasons for us Brazilians to get excited again with the national team, who beat Italy as easy as pizza pie on Tuesday night at the Emirates Stadium.

Robinho flying high, Ronaldinho returning to form, Elano proving once again that he’s decisive when it counts (why can't this guy get a game at Manchester City?), Felipe Melo making a solid debut, and even Inter Milan mis-fit Adriano showing he still wants to shine for his country.

Elano gets a game (and a goal) for his country

But there's also the names who weren't there. Some of them sidelined in Europe, like Anderson or Kaká, and some of them waiting in the wings, such as midfielder Hernanes and striker Keirrison, for whom stardom with the Seleção is only a matter of time.

And there are two who were in London but were barely given time to impress: promising defender Thiago Silva and Milan sensation Alexandre Pato. It was nonsense to play The Duck for just 10 minutes against defenders he’s been turning inside out every other Sunday in Italy.

Which brings us back to the only reason us Brazilians have yet to get swept off our feet with the national team... Dunga.

Much has been levelled at the former World Cup-winning captain since he was placed in the Seleção hot seat. He’s inexperienced, he’s defensive-minded, he’s obnoxious, he’s too sour...

For me one question soars above all: if this guy can’t pick the right shirt to go with his trousers, how can he select the right players to don the yellow shirt and teach them what to do on the pitch?

Of course, he can’t. It’s unimaginable to think of Dunga leading Brazil in a World Cup. Not now. Not ever.

Dunga: "I knew I should have just worn a suit"

We’re currently celebrating a fantastic win against one of our main rivals for 2010 World Cup glory, as we did after the 6-2 rout of Portugal last November.

And although I don’t want to be pessimistic, it’s only a matter of time before we’re brought back down to earth with a boring, scoreless home draw against Peru or Bolivia.

Having learnt the lesson of 2006, beautiful Brazil has all the tools to add a sixth World Cup crown to the trophy cabinet in South Africa next year. But we won’t clinch it if 'the ugly coach' is still in charge.

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Brazil's stars stay home & Ronaldo's spare pair of knees

Celso de Campos Jr — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 10:00:00 GMT

Dearest Brazilian football fans, we’re back!

And by “we” I mean not only this blog, but also the excitement, drama and nonsense of the beautiful game in the beautiful land.

And, boy, this year is a promising one. With the world economic crisis preventing the European clubs from splashing the cash on transfers, the top Brazilian prospects stayed at home, for the first time in centuries.

Getting to watch an encore of Europe-bound players like São Paulo’s Hernandes or Internacional’s Alex is an unexpected bonus.

Plus, there’s a zestful breed ready to shine, such as Palmeiras’ Keirrison and Santos’ Neymar. No wonder expectations are already high for the National Championship, which starts in May.

Keirrison: Leading Brazil's new wave of talent

Meanwhile, the State Championships - the classical tournament that opens the football season in Brazil - are already underway. And, so far, no surprises.

In the country’s most important regional tournament, São Paulo state’s Paulista Championship, the top dogs are already ruling the roost.

Palmeiras, Corinthians, São Paulo and Santos appear to be cruising towards the semis. While minnows Barueri, who last year clinched a spot in the National Championship elite, are jogging along on the outside lane.

Things will surely heat up when the giants begin clashing – the first taking place on Sunday, when the revitalised Palmeiras under coach Vanderlei Luxemburgo (six wins out of six so far this season) face unlucky Santos, who last week hit the post six times and lost 2-0 to Ituano.

Speaking of bad luck, there's no surprises on the Ronaldo front neither.

"Oops, I did it again..."

The Phenomenon is practicing as hard as he can during the day to be fit to play again, as he has done for a good share of his injury-plagued career. But apparently he’s playing hard at night too.

Pictures of the ace partying wildly in a nightclub called Pink Elephant might have cost him his relationship with fiancee Bia Antony. (Poor guy, he was just looking for a spare pair of knees. See the last photo here)

On the upside, at least this time he was caught with real women.

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The Phenomenon fights back: Ronaldo returns home

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Every year, at the end of each season, it's the norm to see blanket media coverage of the national champions from early December, when the tournament ends, until Christmas at least.

And if there’s not a natural catastrophe, already worn news about the winners are somehow squeezed into the New Year’s eve headlines too.

This time, however, São Paulo's celebrations were cut short. Just two days after the Morumbi squad's triumph, when the news was still fresh, Corinthians dropped the bombshell that they were signing Ronaldo – and suddenly no one cared about the happy champions, or even remembered them.

If Ronaldo’s arrival stopped the presses in star-filled Milan, you can imagine the effect it had in Brazil, where blockbuster transfers are usually the other way around. It is indeed a phenomenon.

All 6,000 tickets to the ace’s official presentation at Parque São Jorge flew in a couple of days. Corinthians shirts with his name and number also disappeared from shops.

"I'll take that thank you" - Ronaldo shirts don't hang around for long

Only Romário’s return to Flamengo, in 1995, can be matched to what we’re seeing now – with the difference that Shorty was in his prime, and Fatso is not only, well, still fat, but also hasn't played in almost a year.

In fact, not even the buck-toothed virtuoso himself knows when (and if) he’ll play again. But he guarantees one thing: “My partnership with Corinthians will pay off.”

Off the pitch, no one doubts it. Corinthians and Ronnie are already capitalising – be it on sponsorship deals (now the whole Corinthians kit is available to buy: not only the shirt, but socks, shorts, shirt sleeves and even the collar can be sponsorsed) or the media return they received from the worldwide coverage of his first days at Corinthians.

Ronnie laps up warm Corinthians welcome

On the pitch, however, there’s skepticism aplenty. Many believe Ronaldo is finished, and that he will just drag himself along wearing the Corinthians shirt. Others are suggesting that Ronaldo will ask for privileges, and that the roster won’t receive him with the open arms – largely because his wages will be almost 10 times higher than the team’s young stars, like Dentinho.

Personally, I’m not one of them. I think Ronaldo was on the verge of giving up last year – pictures of him on a boat, smoking, carrying a giant belly around, showed it –, but he's decided to give it one more shot.

And, as I wrote in February when he suffered his latest injury in Milan, it’s not wise to bet against Ronaldo. “After all, this is a man whose favourite pastime, alongside pulling ladies and scoring goals, has been proving people wrong.”

"Aiiee!!" - Curtain comes down on Milan career in February

My guess is he’ll be a hit with Corinthians. He’ll be cool with the team-mates, many of them lifelong fans of the Phenomenon. He was never known for skipping practices – in fact, few players spent more time in the gym than him, with his string of injuries.

His nightlife never hurt him on the pitch – even fat or half-awake he’s more dangerous than 99% of most other strikers.

I hope he doesn’t prove me wrong.

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São Paulo all set to seal trio of titles

Celso de Campos Jr — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 10:00:00 GMT

Ladies and gentleman, this Sunday we're all set to have a new champion in Brazil. Well, not exactly a new one since São Paulo FC, who are bound to clinch the title over the weekend, also won the tournament last year... and the year before that.

The club from Morumbi will make history by becoming the first club with six crowns to their name in the 'modern era' of the Brazilian championship, which started in 1971. And in addition, they’ll be the first side to record three consecutive triumphs.

Such a supremacy might indicate that, this season, São Paulo have been soaring above everyone else, cruising to their third consecutive Brazilian title. But in truth it's been far from the sort.

São Paulo fans get ready to party

This year, the Tricolor ran on the outside lane, letting Grêmio, Flamengo, Cruzeiro and Palmeiras take turns on top. And for a long time it appeared that a top-four finish, securing a Libertadores spot, was the best they could aim for.

By the half-way stage, São Paulo were 4th, eight points behind leaders Grêmio. The two teams then faced each other, with Grêmio winning 1-0 and pushing São Paulo down a place to 5th.

That was back on August 17, the 20th round of the Brazilian championship, the last time São Paulo tasted defeat.

Two and a half months later, on November 2, Muricy Ramalho’s side finally hit top spot... and haven't relinquished it since.

While their opponents have continued to slip up match after match, São Paulo - with authority - have won tough away games against Portuguesa and Vasco, opening up a five point lead between themselves and runners-up-elect Grêmio, who got pounded 4-1 by Vitória last Sunday, effectively kissing their title hopes goodbye.

"Let's all do the samba, let's all do the samba..."

Well, almost. If Grêmio win their two last matches (against Ipatinga and Atlético-MG), and São Paulo lose theirs (against Fluminense and Goiás), the Gaúchos can celebrate their first national title since 1996.

But it won’t happen, not in a million years. This year’s Christmas is already red, white and black.

Congratulations, São Paulo FC.

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Peeved Palmeiras fans dish out very personal punishment

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 11:00:00 GMT

I’ve mentioned before in this blog about the self-depreciating joke regarding the divine justice in Brazil.

But when I adapted it to the football world, I forgot to note that, besides putting boneheaded directors and referees in charge, God granted us with some of the most demented fans ever conceived.

You may also have read about the Flamengo ultras who thought it was a good idea to drop a bomb on the training pitch to protest against the players.

Flamengo fans: Quite a raucous bunch when they get excited

And I haven't got round to enlightening you about the many other similar manifestations this season – such as Bahia’s bandits interrupting training and attacking the players.

In recent history, individual players have also found themselves on the receiving end from so-called supporters.

A young Kaká was once bombarded with popcorn by some São Paulo fans, an event that preceded his departure from Brazil. Romário was also pummelled with popcorn by a bunch of Fluminense fans, who famously once threw a chicken on the pitch.

This weekend, another regrettable and inexcusable incident took place in Brazil.

Palmeiras coach, Vanderlei Luxemburgo was ambushed by 20 thugs from the Mancha Verde ultra section at São Paulo airport, prior to the team’s departure to Rio de Janeiro. The hooligans attacked the gaffer, who broke his elbow trying to defend himself.

Palmeiras' home defeat to Grêmio the previous Sunday – which virtually took Luxemburgo’s team out of the title race – sparked mass rage among the irate support. The cowards' attack shook the team, contributing significantly to their 5-2 defeat to Flamengo two days later.

Luxemburgo left with broken elbow after ambush

The physical assault on the coach would be unjustifiable under any circumstance – even if the team had just got relegated.

But it’s even more irrational when you know Luxemburgo’s squad was, just a week ago, second on the table, one point off the top. And that, earlier this year, he had guided Palmeiras to the São Paulo State Championship – their first major trophy since the 1999 Libertadores.

The worst thing is that, as in the Flamengo bombing incident, the outbreak was viewed by many, including the media, as a normal event.

Journalists believe – and write – that, since Luxemburgo is paid a huge salary, he should have led the team to the title. Since he didn’t, he should handle the “pressure” that comes with the job.

The pundits probably can’t see through their microscopic minds, but the message they are spreading is this: “The players are underperforming? Bomb them. That’s OK. The coach didn’t deliver the title? Attack him. No problem.”

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Loopy Luis sees red for booking ref

Celso de Campos Jr — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 08:00:00 GMT

Only once in a blue moon does an incident like this come along... a player flashing a card at the referee. And it’s usually just a bit of fun.

Paul Gascoigne once did it, after the man in black had dropped his cards, only the ref didn’t find it funny, and booked the midfielder for his troubles.

This week, in Rio de Janeiro, it was a Botafogo defender's turn to yellow-card the man in the middle.

"Ah come on ref, it was only a bit of fun like man..."

Andre Luis had already been shown his second yellow card of the day following a brawl in the Copa Sudamericana match against Estudiantes.

But instead of quietly sloping off for an early bath, Luis blew his top and snatched the card from Chilean referee Carlos Chandía's hands.

By then, the game was tied at 2-2 (trailing 2-4 on aggregate) after 68 minutes, with Botafogo needing another three goals to advance to the next round of the competition.

So with their team already as good as eliminated, fans celebrated the additional entertainment on the pitch like a goal being scored. Interviewed after the match, one Botafogo supporter commented: “That alone was worth the ticket.”

"Come on then, I'll take on the lot of you..."

Luis has a reputation for having a bit of a wild side. After being sent off in a game against Nautico, he fought with police on the pitch and was eventually frog-marched off the playing surface by the authorities.

As Palmeiras coach Wanderley Luxemburgo put it, after seeing the card melee on TV. “He’s a good player, and more than that a good person. But in 10 seconds he flips and does those things”.

Lewis Hamilton, São Paulo and the last laps in Brazil

Celso de Campos Jr — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 15:00:00 GMT

When Sebastian Vettel’s Toro Rosso overtook Lewis Hamilton’s McLaren with two laps left of the Brazilian GP, I heard an unprecedented roar of celebration come through the window here in São Paulo – and my flat, I should add, is as far as Interlagos as it is from London.

It was nothing like the wild noise that is sparked by a World Cup goal for the Seleção, with honks and fireworks. Imagine thousands of people across the city simultaneously saying “Wow! Yes!” to themselves: it was more like that.

Two or three electrifying minutes followed, but as we know now, it wasn’t enough to help Felipe Massa win the F1 crown. Timo Glock couldn’t keep his struggling Toyota ahead of Vettel and Hamilton, and the Brazilian ended a point short of the championship – just like Hamilton did last year.

This time, in the battle between England and Brazil (and the lame local media here spent the week trying to create a war between the “evil” British and the “good” homeboy), victory went to the European nation.

"No hard feelings, old chap..."

Kudos to Hamilton, hands-down the most gifted driver of his generation and a true gentleman, a nice guy who stayed pleasant even while lunatic Brazilians wanted to paint him as a villain.

Sorry for that, mate. Charisma-free Massa will hopefully have his shot one day, bringing the F1 crown back to Brazil – last time we won was in 1991, with Ayrton Senna. But the 2008 title is in the right hands.

The heart-pounding close of the Brazilian GP also shook fans in the Brazilian championship, whose games started minutes after the end of the race. Some even thought Massa had won. In Santos, the Vila Belmiro scoreboard announced: “FELIPE MASSA: F1 WORLD CHAMPION.” Oops.

All the players of São Paulo FC – the team the Brazilian driver supports – entered the pitch with shirts with Massa’s name on the back and the number 1. Of course there was no time to stamp 11 new shirts with the number 2.

But there was some small comfort for Massa as his boys beat Internacional 3-0 and jumped into a lead of their own, for the first time in the tournament, with five rounds to go.

São Paulo: Running into form at just the right time

With former joint leaders Grêmio dropping to third after being held 1-1 at home by Figueirense, second place was seized by Palmeiras, in a fantastic game also decided during the final lap.

Wanderley Luxemburgo's side were drawing with Santos 1-1 away when Leo Lima "did a Hamilton" and scored the winner in injury time.

So the new “two-horse race” is between São Paulo and Palmeiras. We've already had Grêmio and Cruzeiro, Flamengo and Cruzeiro and Grêmio and Palmeiras. And, with only five points separating the top five, anything could happen in the final five games.

We’ll have to wait for the chequered flag.

Futsal's coming home...

Celso de Campos Jr — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 09:00:00 GMT

There’s two legends surrounding the origins of futsal, whose FIFA World Cup started this week in Brazil.

The first dictates the sport was created in the 1930’s in Uruguay by Montevideo YCMA’s professor Juan Carlos Ceriani. The second tells that it first appeared in São Paulo, also inside the YCMA, by some lads who started kicking a football about in a basketball court, late in the 1940’s.

Fact is it was in Brazil, in 1952, that the futebol de salão’s first organisation was assembled – the São Paulo’s YCMA Salon Football League, founded by Habib Maphuz. (In Uruguay, there was no organised futsal until 1965.)

Maphuz was also the mastermind behind the rules of the indoor game – the most defining of them to change from the standard-size football to a smaller, heavier one, to prevent it from bouncing and going out of bounds all the time.

So if futsal isn’t coming home, with the FIFA World Cup in Rio de Janeiro and Brasília, it’s right there next door.

Falcão celebrates scoring vs Salomon Islands

That’s why it’s so important for Brazilians not to let the trophy slip in the motherland. Repatriating futsal’s greatest prize, usurped by the Spaniards a couple of tournaments ago, is a matter of honour.

Brazil had won the first three Futsal World Cup following its launch in 1982. But then came Spain. In 2000, they beat Brazil 4-3 in the final in Guatemala.

And then in 2004, in Taiwan, they knocked Brazil out again, in the semi-finals, on penalties before beating Brazilian-powered Italy in the final to claim their second consecutive title.

Spain celebrate winning 2007 Euro Futsal

Now, it’s time for revenge.

Brazil routed Japan 12-1 in their opening game in Brasília. Another showcase of Falcão, the world’s best player, Lenísio, Schumacher, Ari etc.

Spain’s opener was tougher: a 3-3 draw with Iran – who have a respectable futsal squad. The Iranians were leading 3-0 at half-time but, despite the full support of the Rio de Janeiro crowd, they couldn’t hold on to the lead.

Of course there are 18 other nations competing for the crown, among them Italy, Portugal, Argentina, Russia and Ukraine. The Noise from Brazil will keep a close eye on the action, and will let you know the good, the bad and the ugly of the FIFA Futsal World Cup, Brazil 2008.

Including, we hope, the ultimate Brazil-Spain clash – in which I expect Falcão and co. to send them home empty-handed...

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Gre-nal... the most Argentinian clash in Brazil

Celso de Campos Jr — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 10:00:00 GMT

Down there in the South, there’s a small part of Brazil whose football was forged in the traditional Argentinian mould – a hard, physical game with strength over skills.

It’s the Rio Grande do Sul state, and it has their own Boca-River-like die-hard hate rivalry: welcome to Grêmio vs Internacional, or simply Gre-nal as the clash between the two giants of Porto Alegre city is nicknamed.

With both teams recording decent results in recent years – Internacional won the 2006 Copa Libertadores and the Fifa World Club Championship against Barcelona, while Grêmio lost to Boca Juniors in the final of the 2007 tournament – the rivalry from the pampas has become even more fierce.

This Sunday, they will face each other in the Internacional’s Beira-Rio Stadium in the 373th Gre-nal since 1909. And, again, there’s a lot at stake.

Tournament punters Grêmio are defending a lead at the top that seems to be slipping away. A couple of weeks ago, they were seven points clear; now they’re just one.

On the other hand, Internacional, who started the championship in poor shape, have finally woken up – too late to win the title, but with time to still chase a Libertadores spot. They’re currently 11th, but there's just four points between themselves and 4th!

Winning and knocking their crosstown rivals off the top of the table... it doesn’t get much better for Internacional fans.

That’s why 45,000 people are expected to be at Beira-Rio, almost all of them Internacional fans, who will paint the stadium red. Visitors Grêmio received only 2,900 tickets.

I know you’re looking forward to my usually flawless prediction. Tell your bookie then: Internacional to win 2-1. Argentinian D’Alessandro will net the winner for the Colorado.

PS: Before our neighbours from the South get angry, of course there’s talent and skill there. Ronaldinho Gaúcho's name is based on the word gaúcho - how the Rio Grande do Sul natives are known.
To pay a tribute to him, look what the ace did in Gre-nal here, for Grêmio.

In both incidents, the humiliated opponent was... Dunga. Yep. The national team coach also hails from Rio Grande do Sul.

Enough said.

15 years since Romário’s second coming

Celso de Campos Jr — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 12:00:00 GMT

September 19, 1993. 15 years ago.

Brazil vs Uruguay at Maracanã, the last game of the 1994 World Cup qualifiers.

Bolivia and Uruguay led the group with 10 points. Brazil had 9. A draw would kiss the then three-time World Champions' chances of reaching the United States goodbye. It would be the first time Brazil failed to qualify for football’s top prize.

National shame, of course.

Carlos Alberto Parreira’s team were struggling in the tournament. They had lost for the first time ever in a WC Qualifier match – 2-0 to high-flyer Bolivia in La Paz. More than that, it was a dull, predictable, defensive-minded squad led by captain Dunga.

There was a solution, though... Romário.

The prolific Shorty had just signed for Barcelona from PSV, and kept scoring in Spain as if he was playing in a pelada in Vila da Penha. Definitely, the world’s best striker in his prime.

But Parreira insisted in not calling him up. For reasons only he knew.

With a World Cup spot on the line, and the whole country clamouring for Romário, finally Parreira gave in. (Romário said later that his call came only after CBF president Ricardo Teixeira’s pressure. Parreira denies it.)

And the rest is history.

Wearing the number 11 shirt on that sunny afternoon in Maracanã, Romário did it all – except make it rain. Brazil won 2-0, with two beauties from Shorty, of course. “The saviour’s second coming,” as the press tagged him the following morning.

It was the first step towards the ultimate triumph in the United States the following year, the fourth World Cup crown for the Seleção.

We owe it, let’s say 80%, to Romário. At least.

Relive Romário’s stellar performance against Uruguay – the game Shorty himself recalls as one of his best – here.

Too bad we can’t call upon him again for the next qualifying round. I’m sure he would be up to it – thing is Romário just left hospital following a minor leg surgery, to correct his “cowboy legs,” as the doctor put it.

That’s a new one on me.

If Romário’s legs are defective, what does that say of today’s Seleção forwards?

Brazilian championship hotting up... finally

Celso de Campos Jr — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Lord almighty, I feel my temperature rising!

Alopecic midfielder and old-timer Elvis fan Paulo Baier set the Brazilian championship alight last Saturday by leading Goiás to a 2-1 away victory at leaders Grêmio.

Baier’s superb performance, which included a goal from a corner – or Olympic Goal, as we call it in Brazil – prevented the Porto Alegre squad from building a nine-point advantage over Palmeiras.

And it got worse for Grêmio. The next day, they saw their lead cut to just three points when Palmeiras beat Cruzeiro in a crucial clash between the second and third placed teams at the Mineirão Stadium. Diego Souza netted a class winner to shift the momentum in favour of Vanderlei Luxemburgo’s Boys in Green.

As the manicured gaffer predicted, the championship has turned on its head since the closure of the transfer window. Flamengo, who topped the table for most of the first half of the tournament, lost a handful of key players and are on the slide in 7th. Now, they would be more than happy bagging a Copa Libertadores spot (the top four qualify).

Flamengo: On the slide after strong start

Botafogo, whose average players weren’t targeted by foreign clubs, are on the rise under new coach Ney Franco’s management. They currently sit in 4th – and just staying there will be a major accomplishment.

It's now, seemingly, a two horse race for the title between Grêmio and Palmeiras – Cruzeiro still have an outside chance, but my guess is they too will settle for a Libertadores place.

But while Cruzeiro and Grêmio are still picking themselves up after last weekend’s defeats, Palmeiras go into the tournament’s 26th round with their morale sky high, hoping to take top spot.

On Sunday, the Boys in Green host struggling Vasco da Gama (17th), while Grêmio travel to Curitiba to face Atlético-PR (16th) and Cruzeiro go to Florianópolis to face Figueirense (15th).

Will Brazilian football have a new leader?

Tune in next week...

The Robinho story... part two

Celso de Campos Jr — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 16:00:00 GMT

As I was saying last week, young Robinho was a true gem.

Expectations were sky high in Brazil, the result of the two National Championships he delivered to Santos in 2002 and 2004. He was unanimously the country’s top football star.

When Real Madrid came sniffing in 2005, fans launched the “Fica, Robinho” (Robinho, stay) campaign. Young ladies and even grown men united to write letters and letters pleading him not to leave Santos.

Comparitvely, when Kaká left São Paulo for Milan in 2003 fans booed him, tagging him a “pipoqueiro” – which literally translates as “popcorn maker” but in sport refers to someone that chickens out and fails to perform.

Adored by the fans back home, unlike Kaka

But the clamor didn’t touch Robinho, who engaged in a battle with the Santos board to achieve his dream of playing abroad. He stopped showing up at training until club president Marcelo Teixeira accepted Real Madrid’s offer – Santos didn’t want to sell the pedaladas ace before the end of his contract, but the player left them no option.

If only Robinho knew what was to come in Spain...

It’s almost a blasphemy to say that going to Real Madrid is a wrong move. Playing for Fifa’s top club of the 20th century is the dream of any young footballer.

But to arrive at Santiago Bernabeu amidst the chaos of the end of the Galacticos era proved to be a complete disaster for the Brazilian. After a stunning debut, he only went downhill.

Spanish press kept questioning whether he wasn’t just another tricky player with no commitment or decisive power – something he failed to prove he was not. The stars were packing up, the merengues were disintegrating – and Robinho couldn’t dodge the cannonball.

Real Madrid: Right club, wrong time

He didn’t find help anywhere – not in the board, nor in the coaching staff. In fact, the main thing was that Robinho didn’t help himself. The Santos good kid became a selfish and pretentious best player in the world wannabe – and, ultimately, since he couldn’t achieve that, a whiny boy.

Then came the Real Madrid-Cristiano Ronaldo affair.

Those who saw the Brazilian during his Santos days know he’s got what it takes to reach the summit. Robinho knows it too. It wasn’t Real’s fault that he couldn’t take the team further than the Spanish League, though.

Being offered as a makeweight isn’t the best scenario, but it’s part of the game, specially if your performances have been poor and the other guy’s flying high. But it was too much for Robinho’s pride.

I guess Real Madrid would have loved to have gotten rid of him at the first opportunity – if they had signed a big name player like Ronaldo or even David Villa. Since no one arrived at Bernabeu, well, the solution was to toughen up on the Robinho move.

Happy times ahead at Eastlands with Jo and Elano?

Chelsea handed the deal poorly (the shirt on the website debacle was an offense to Real Madrid) and, when everyone thought Robinho was going to spend some extra months idle in Spain, Manchester City snapped him up. A terrific statement by Sulaiman Al-Fahim and the club’s new management.

Will Robinho became the world’s best player at Manchester City? Hardly. But I do think he can raise eyebrows in the Premier League, help to elevate City’s game and prove to the Europeans he’s the real deal. Then we’ll see where he goes from there.

Seleção, Madonna and the boo magnet

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:00:00 GMT

See, it wasn’t so hard was it?

The 3-0 away win against Chile brought some much-needed lull days for Brazil, after weeks of turmoil following the Olympic fiasco.

The Seleção played like they should, and the score could have been higher if Ronaldinho hasn’t missed a penalty and Luis Fabiano hadn’t insisted on targeting the belly of the keeper – even so, the Sevilla matador still managed to score twice.

"Yes!!! We scored a goal..."

In his first game since the Real Madrid-Chelsea-Manchester City imbroglio, Robinho was flying high. The new Citizen netted one and still managed to showcase some of his old tricks, to the complete joy of the many Brazilians present at the National Stadium in Santiago.

But back home, fans are still sceptical.

Brazil face Bolivia on Wednesday night at Rio de Janeiro’s João Havelange Stadium, dubbed Engenhão, the first Seleção match in the arena built for the 2007 Pan-American games.

Only 9,000 of the 29,000 tickets available to the fans had been sold by Tuesday. But the 60,000 stadium – which, by the way, already needs a refurbishing – won’t be completely empty, since 15,000 tickets were taken in advance by CBF’s partner companies.

I wonder if those corporations will give the tickets to their best or to their worst costumers; after all, watching Dunga’s Seleção has been a true ordeal lately.

The truth is that, at this exact moment, Brazilians are more interested in Madonna – the Material Girl will perform at the Maracanã and Morumbi in December, and the tickets for all of her shows sold out in hours.

Bigger than football in Brazil... what the hell's going on!?

Given the current popularity of the Seleção, someone should tell Madonna not to don the yellow CBF mantle, like she did on her last tour in 1993.

Thanks to the samba boys' latest performances, it has become a true boo magnet.

Let’s hope at Engenhão on Wednesday they finally give reason for the fans to clap. Madonna surely will.

Dunga’s Seleção near record books... for wrong reasons

Celso de Campos Jr — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 07:00:00 GMT

Dunga’s Seleção can make history this Sunday in their World Cup qualifier match against Chile. Too bad it'll be for all the wrong reasons.

If Brazil don’t score against Chile, it will only be the second time that the Seleção, in its almost centennial history, go scoreless in four consecutive matches. The squad already missed the few chances they created against Venezuela (0-2), Paraguay (0-2) and Argentina (0-0).

The only time that has happened to date was in 1991, courtesy of the oh so unmemorable Seleção of coach Falcão. Then, a defeat to Spain (0-3) in his first game and three goalless draws (with Mexico and Chile, twice) doomed the former Roma king. 10 games later, he was fired and became a TV pundit – a position he holds to this day.

Like Falcão in his last games as a coach, Dunga is a dead man walking, as I’ve already noted in this blog. The question is when - not if - he’ll get the boot.

Bad results against Chile and at home against Bolivia next Wednesday will probably seal his fate – some say he’ll be hanging till the end of the year, when Vanderlei Luxemburgo will leave Palmeiras and take over the Seleção.

Marcelo Bielsa’s Chile’s are a treacherous side. They’re currently 3rd in the qualifying table (Brazil are 5th) and rely on their offensive front three – Gonzales, Suazo and Sanchez. To feed them, “El Loco” Bielsa has two fantastic options: Matias Fernandez or Jorge Valdivia, the former Palmeiras player who was one of the main stars of Brazilian football before he upped sticks to UAE’s Al Ain a month ago.

On Brazil’s side... well, the same thing. It’s Dunga trademark as a coach. 11 players, no tactics, no game plan. Each player has to show what they've got. Unfortunately for the fans, they’ve been failing to do so on a regular basis.

With or without Dunga, it’s time for them to step up.

One goal. Come on, it’s not that hard.

The Robinho story... part one

Celso de Campos Jr — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Is it just me or do you all think that Robinho isn’t getting enough media coverage lately?

I’ll take the opportunity to fill this unbelievable blank by throwing some personal opinions on the career of the new Manchester City star – something I have been intending to do even before the regrettable Real Madrid vs Chelsea joust for his pedaladas.

Robinho was still a teenager when I first met him, back in 2003. FourFourTwo was running a special called “The wonder kids” – magazine editor Hugh Sleight had just interviewed Wayne Rooney, back in his Everton days, and the forward was the hottest prospect in Brazil that time.

An obvious choice. So I went to Santos to talk to him.

Santos' next big thing, 2004

Months before, the 18-year-old had led the Vila Belmiro squad to their first-ever National Championship, bedazzling the country with his zest and skills.

The foreseeable comparisons with a young Pelé had already popped up – after all, there was a kid with a similar body, playing for the same team, with as much success as the future King had amassed early in his career.

In fact, Pelé had singled out the skinny Robinho in a Santos youth squad practice, which attracted the media attention back then – watch footage of the 15-year old Robson de Souza here. “He’s got the skills, the intelligence,” said Pelé. “Let’s hope he achieves as much as I did.”

Back to our first meeting, in the Santos headquarters. Practice had just finished when Robinho entered the room. A shy boy, avoiding eye contact, keeping his answers short. I needed a while to start squeezing the answers out of him – how the Santos staff had stripped him of the number 10 shirt when he turned pro (to soften the “New Pelé” pressure), his dream of playing in Barcelona, how he managed to master the pedalada. His unmistakable grin finally appeared.

When we had done talking, the ace literally dashed to the door. He told me his mother, who always picked him up after the practices, was already waiting in the parking lot.

From day one, it was Robinho’s joy that caught my attention. He played with the same amusement and spontaneity that I did in my school days, with the difference that he was facing real pros, ready to crush him in the touchline. Me? Just four-eyed buddies.

It seemed he didn’t feel any pressure, from the fans, the coach or the opponents, when it came to football. It was all natural to him. Even when Robinho met a legend like Michael Schumacher on the pitch – watch here on 1:30min as he nutmegs the German ace in a 2003 charity match in Santos...

I remember thinking, “this is the future of Brazilian football.”

"So... when do I get to meet Terry, Lampard and Deco?"

I thought the sky was the limit for him. Robinho was the guy to lead Brazil to a World Cup, to be – as he so much wants to be – the world’s best player. Hands down. If I’m not mistaken, that’s what I wrote in that FourFourTwo piece. And I still believe he’s got what it takes to be the best.

So... how come he ended up, with all due respect, at Manchester City?

Part two next week...

The (un)popularity of South America’s UEFA Cup

Celso de Campos Jr — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Here in South America we have our own version of the UEFA Cup. It’s called the Copa Sul-americana – or Sudamericana, in Spanish, Conmebol’s official language – and this year its seventh annual competition started exactly a month ago, with the clash between River Plate and Universidad Catolica.

Never heard of it? No problema, amigo. It’s far from being a big hit. While the Copa Libertadores rocks the continent during the first semester, the Copa Sudamericana kind of stirs it in the second. In Brazil, no one gives a damn about it, especially the big boys. And why is that?

First of all, it doesn’t have the prestige. Conmebol (the South American Football Confederation) has been trying to built a solid sidekick tournament for decades: Copa Mercosur, Copa Conmebol, the list goes on. But they never click, despite usually offering a good prize from the sponsors. Footballing-wise, it’s worth nothing.

There’s also the issue with the calendar – in Brazil, the Sudamericana takes place when the championship enters its most decisive time of the season. You can’t ship your team off to Mexico on a Wednesday if there’s a city derby on Sunday. So most of the coaches field the reserves – which isn’t enough to go far in the tournament.

In fact, in the championship’s first year, 2002, Brazilian clubs simply chose not to play, claiming a lack of available dates.

So, in order to squeeze itself into the 28 teams’ tight second semester schedule, the Copa Sudamericana becomes an ogre. Palmeiras and Vasco played their first leg two weeks ago on August 13. But the return match won’t be contested until three weeks from now – on September 17.

Yesterday, São Paulo and Atlético-MG were kicked out of the tournament by Atlético-PR and Botafogo respectively. Meanwhile, some squads, like Chile’s Ñublense and Peru’s Sport Ancash, have yet to play a game – they’ll play their games on September 4 and 19. It’s hard to keep track of it all.

So what to do? All this nonsense would be tolerated by the fans if winning the Sudamericana actually meant something. That’s why there’s a general claim that the tournament champion should be awarded a Copa Libertadores spot. However, so far, the Conmebol has reacted with indifference to the request.

In response, the fans don't bother turning up. Little more than 3,000 souls witnessed a comatose game between São Paulo and Atlético-PR reserves yesterday at Morumbi.

Sure, the Sudamericana will get hotter in the latter stages– as any badminton tournament does. To the small sides of the small countries, the Sudamericana might as well be the World Cup. However, if Conmebol wants this championship to have half of the respect the UEFA Cup has, they should listen to the big boys.

PS: Sometimes, even an ogre can be beautiful, as princess Fiona knows so well. Late, late on Wednesday, I was channel-hopping with the remote control when I discovered a live broadcast of the San Luis and Deportivo Quito clash in the Copa Sudamericana.

By sheer inertia, I carried on watching, just in time to watch live this Braulio Luna stunner.

Goodbye and good riddance Dunga

Celso de Campos Jr — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Before Tuesday’s game against Argentina, I insisted that the Olympic semi-final was a win-win situation for us Brazilians.

If we beat our arch-rivals from the south, fantastic. The unbeaten run against them would go on – and it’s been a while since Brazil has dominated the clash, especially in decisive games.

On the flip side, if Argentina won, no one should cry for us. They would be doing Brazil a favour, by ending the misery of watching one of the Seleção’s worst ever squads and putting hapless coach Dunga out of his misery.

And, fortunately or unfortunately – only time will tell – option two came through after an implacable 3-0 Argentina win in Beijing.

Riquelme sinks final nail into Dunga's coffin

It was a walk in the Olympic park for Aguero, Messi and Co. The hermanos always looked more incisive, while the Brazilians, stifled by their coach’s policy, worried exclusively about defending.

The Seleção only decided to attack when they were two goals down. And by then it was too late. It wasn't too late, however, to send the Olympic spirit to hell and go manhunting the Argentinians. Foul! Foul! Foul! And yet Argentina, despite their thirst for revenge, maintained fair play to the end.

It was such an upside-down situation that two Brazilian players were sent off for fouling Javier Mascherano. I repeat: Javier Mascherano!

And so ended Brazil’s dream in Beijing. But if the Olympic gold is history, so too is Dunga. Back home, he was single-handedly blamed for the China fiasco – and thoroughly deserved, I should add.

Most of the country’s newspapers hit the stands with blood-dripping headlines. “Scrap iron coach can only get the bronze,” wrote Extra, while O Globo went further, running a Dunga’s Seleção obituary on the sports page.

O Globo: The morning after the night before

It reads: “Brazilian football, five-times world champion, announces the death of coach Dunga’s Seleção in Beijing, China. The 7th day Mass will take place on Friday at the Shanghai Stadium. Please don’t send flowers.”

Dunga still holds the position, but not for long. The worst coach ever to stick his behind on Brazil’s hot seat is a dead man walking.

Palmeiras gaffer Vanderlei Luxemburgo, favourite of the Brazilian Confederation president Ricardo Teixeira, has reportedly already been contacted.

Luxemburgo is the top coach in Brazil – only Scolari can match him – but to be honest, anyone is better than Dunga.

Brazil ready for revenge mission at Olympics

Celso de Campos Jr — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 00:25:00 GMT

The Brazilian Championship reached its midway point in the season this week, with Grêmio clinching the symbolic 'winter' title.

But, as most of the coaches have said, the 'real' championship only begins after August 31, once the transfer window is shut. (If you think it’s weird a tournament only starting in its last quarter, remember... this is Brazil.)

So we’ll get back to the domestic stuff at a later date.

For now, the hottest issue in Brazil is far away in Beijing. Winning an Olympic gold medal is a big thing for us Brazilians, since it’s the only major title missing in our trophy cabinet. (Well, 'major' is a relative concept – the absence of the world-class stars and the joust between federations and clubs have taken most of the fun out of the thing). But look where we’re standing now.

Ronaldinho double vs New Zealand eases Brazil through

Like in World Cup 2006, we've got a great group of players – even with the stars' absences – but no coach. Dunga has no idea how to build a team, how to position the players. For God’s sake, the guy can’t even pick the shirt he wears. It’s despairing to wake up at 5am (that’s the time the Olympic matches are on in Brazil) to watch the team struggling to beat Belgium. 5am. That’s the real chinese torture.

Brazil’s hopes rest, once again, on the individuality of its players. We’ve got them, make no mistake: Pato, Anderson, Lucas, Diego, Hernanes... and, of course, Ronaldinho – generously released by Milan, who chose to send him to China instead of shipping him to a spa. But Dunga’s letargy seems to have contaminated most of them. They need a wake-up call.

So it's great that Brazil’s adversary on Saturday in the quarter-finals is Cameroon – the country who kicked the Seleção out of the Sydney 2000 tournament.

Cameroon and 79-year-old? Roger Milla dumped out at USA '94

It happened once, it can happen again. And there’s more at stake for the youngsters: some of those who experienced the shameful 2-1 golden goal defeat to nine-man Cameroon were never given another decent chance in the national team. Great players like Alex, Geovanni and Fábio Aurélio became marked men by that defeat. Ronaldinho was there too but helping win the 2002 World Cup separated him from that bunch.

And what about the coach? Dunga said he doesn’t remember the 2000 defeat as much he remembers the 1994 World Cup 3-0 win against Cameroon. Yes, talk about enlightenment. Let’s recall a triumph against an ageing squad – Roger Milla was, what, 79 years-old? – who conceded 11 goals in three matches, instead of telling the samba boys the perils of Cameroon’s young lions, who already bit us once not so long ago.

Speaking of great leaders, let’s quote Julius Caesar... Alea jacta est.

The die is cast...

Flamengo fans find new way to fire up players

Celso de Campos Jr — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 10:00:00 GMT

That’s life (that’s life), that’s what all the people say
You’re ridin’ high in April, shot down in May.

Fast-forward two months to July in the lyrics of the 1966 classic “That’s Life”, immortalized by Frank Sinatra, and you’ll have almost have Flamengo’s story so far in the Brazilian Championship... including the shot down bit.

In June, Flamengo were riding high, topping the table with a seven-point lead. Coach Caio Jr, who turned down a millionaire offer from Qatar, was celebrated as a club hero, a genious of the race. It couldn’t get better. So...

Come July and the Rio de Janeiro side hit a major slump. Flamengo dropped from first to sixth, losing four games, drawing two and winning none. And as if that misery wasn’t enough, they faced an unexpected threat on Wednesday during training at Gávea.

Flamengo: Table-toppers have tailed off badly

A bunch of ultras-slash-bandits broke into the club and simply dropped a bomb on the pitch where the players were training. Even in the crime-ridden city of Rio de Janeiro, this was a new one.

Hit by the bomb splinters, forward Obina and defender Dininho suffered minor injuries. Goalkeeper Bruno, midfielder Ibson and left-back Juan (former Arsenal) tried to settle the scores with the thugs, but they were held down by the club staff and by captain Fábio Luciano, who tried to avoid further confrontation with the hooligans even in the aftermath of their violent act.

“We talked to the fans and it’s alright now. The bomb was an isolated thing.” It sure must have been, since no one was arrested, not surprising, considering we’re talking about Brazil.

Juan, however, lashed out. “This is the kind of thing that motivates a player to leave Flamengo and to play abroad. If anyone decides to pack, you can see why. It stains the club image.”

Frank Jnr: Never a good reason to turn down a photo op

It’s one of those funny coincidences that, amidst the July turmoil, some wise Flamengo director arranged a photo op with Frank Sinatra Jr, who has been touring Brazil since early June. The son of Ol’ Blue Eyes was given a Flamengo shirt, which he promised to wear in his Rio de Janeiro concert this Friday.

If Flamengo stay in tune, Frank Jr. might well sing the closing verses of “That’s Life” in tribute to the feelings of their disenchanted fans.

And if there’s nothin’ shakin’ come this here July
I’m gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die.

My, my...

Meet Palmeiras’ newest Animal

Celso de Campos Jr — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 10:58:00 GMT

After the clash against Palmeiras, São Paulo defender André Dias hit out against opponent Kléber, back in Brazil after three years playing for Dinamo Kiev.

“The guy is in the wrong sport. I guess he should be a boxer. He isn’t playing football at all.”

Since in boxing fighters aren’t allowed to use their head, elbows or legs to hit the opponents, a late-night ultimate fighting competition would probably be more suitable for the 24-year-old Palmeiras forward.

In the nine games he has played so far in the Brazilian Championship, Kléber has received three red cards and four yellows, making him by far the most untamed athlete in the country.

Since Edmundo the 'Animal' departed from the Palestra Italia stadium late last year the bad boy parking spot has been empty, and Kléber has moved quickly to occupy the vacated spot.

Kléber (left) is consoled after yet another red card

In his very first match against São Paulo, in the São Paulo State Championship, Kléber stuck his elbow on the aforementioned André Dias’ eyelid.

The ref saw nothing, and Kléber went on to score a beauty before half-time.

Palmeiras won 4-1, the defender received seven stitches and the striker received a three-game ban.

Predictably, he didn’t learn. A few days later, Kléber was sent off from practice by coach Vanderlei Luxemburgo after assaulting defender Mauricio. And, to top it, in the same week he was taken to a police station after hitting a São Paulo fan with his car just outside a disco.

According to the police report, a group of São Paulo supporters got mad with him after hearing Kléber tell his brother that “São Paulo fans are gay.” Some of them tried to stop the forward by standing in front of his car, but the Palmeiras ace didn’t think twice and pumped up the gas.

No wonder he has become a Palmeiras fan favorite!

André Dias: required seven stitches after clashing with Kléber

Kléber was a key part of the squad that won the State Championship after a 12-year draught, and has performed consistently well (when he’s not suspended).

Way before Edmundo, Palmeiras featured “Crazy” César Maluco, star of the 1970’s squad that won back-to-back Brazilian championships. And the former idol approves of Kléber’s wild behaviour. “I want Palmeiras to have 10 players like him.”

Since a wannabe heir of César Maluco and Edmundo couldn’t let a foe’s criticism pass by, Kléber retaliated against André Dias boxing quip.

“They talk too much. I get hammered every match but I don’t say anything, because that’s part of the game. What happened is that Alex Silva - André Dias' team-mate at São Paulo - complained that I stepped on his chest. It was a game thing. But his girlfriend got nervous and said these things. I guess it’s normal, isn’t it?”

Oh yeah, he's got a sharp mouth too...

Brazilian managers' and fans' worst nightmare

Celso de Campos Jr — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:35:00 GMT

“I wish this month ends soon.”

To the unaware listener, Flamengo coach Caio Junior sounds like his squad is having a black July. But it’s nothing like that at all, actually the team from Rio de Janeiro is top of the league, something they haven’t accomplished in around a decade.

The gaffer's concerns instead centre on what is also the Brazilian fan's worst nightmare, something which happens every June and July... the transfer window.

Since the Campeonato Brasileiro is the only top league in action during these two months, when the worldwide market is open, attention focuses almost solely on Brazilian teams' squads.

Every powerhouse has suffered at least one significant loss. Palmeiras have lost Henrique to Barcelona and keeper Diego to Liverpool, whilst Internacional watched Fernandão leave for Qatar’s Al-Gharafa, Fluminense's Gabriel went to Panathinaikos and Cícero to Hertha Berlin and Santos' Betão joined Dinamo Kiev.

Going Greek: Fluminense's Gabriel

Last week, Flamengo’s Caio Junior, who had seen Renato Augusto fly off to Bayer Leverkusen, also lost Marcinho – the tournament's top scorer – to UAE’s Al Jazira. No wonder he’s disappointed.

In some cases, the overnight departures take even the club staff by surprise. Midfielder Roger, who arrived at Grêmio in February as the club’s top signing and won fans' hearts with smooth football and promises such as “I will retire here,” has gone back on his word, signing for Qatar SC after receiving an offer too good to turn down.

Being the last one to hear the news, Grêmio president Paulo Odone went nuts. “He came to me on the Friday and said ‘I’m leaving, so I don’t want to play Sunday.’ How can I like that? He’s a traitor.”

But it’s not just the actual signings that make a mess of the squads. The gossip and speculation also upsets the coaches, who claim the players lose their focus.

That’s the case of Palmeiras’ Valdivia and São Paulo’s Hernanes and Alex Silva, constantly linked with European deals. So São Paulo coach Muricy Ramalho called Hernanes in for a little chat.

“I told him he has to concentrate here and tell the people who manage his career to stop talking to the press about proposals. The players say it doesn’t influence them, but of course it does. To talk about such enormous amounts of money shakes every one.”

It sure would make my legs weak...

Tip for Abramovich... let Scolari do it his way

Celso de Campos Jr — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 11:50:00 GMT

It’s been a week since Luiz Felipe Scolari gave his first press conference as Chelsea’s head coach. By now, the Brazilian gaffer should have already deciphered all of the Stamford Bridge club’s mysteries. In his own words, seven days was enough for him to “know everything” about Chelsea.

But the Blues will surely take a little longer, if they ever will, to crack the coach formerly known as Big Phil. Make no mistake: the kind, patient, entertaining, smiley fella that showed up at the press conference won’t stay around for long.

Cooee!

As soon as the day-to-day work begins, the moody, emotional, picky, real Scolari will pop up. And then he’ll really be getting down to business.

The Brazilian sergeant made his name not by pleasing people, much to the contrary. Throughout his career, he has been systematically challenging and upsetting those who have stood against him; and some of his major accomplishments came after he, following his guts, swam against the tide.

A quick trip down memory lane shows that, in 2002, the whole of Brazil wanted high-flying Romário in the national team for the World Cup. Even Scolari’s boss, the president of the Brazilian Football Confederation, was openly campaigning for Shorty. The gaffer chose to bet on a recovering Ronaldo, and the rest was history.

A year later, when Scolari took over as Portugal coach, one of his first missions was to naturalise the Brazilian midfielder Deco, who was starring at Porto. Many proud Portuguese, Figo included, roared. It was useless. Deco was called up to the national team and scored the winner on his debut in a friendly against Brazil. No one's complained ever since.

Ronaldo fires Brazil to World Cup glory

But now back to club matters. He’s going to deal with a handful of different tasks and report to many people, most notably, of course, Roman Abramovich. The mundane world of arrivals and departures, which in his national teams wasn’t an issue, will now require a lot of his time and will surely provoke many disputes within Stamford Bridge.

The first is already on. Caught in the middle of the fight between Frank Lampard and the club, Scolari misfired, assuring the player would stay, while it seems the owner wants to get rid of the midfielder. Since the Brazilian is just starting his term, it probably won’t undermine the relationship. However, Abramovich should be aware that he should handle his new coach with care.

I’ve been reading many English journalists writing that Scolari will have to learn to deal with the Russian billionaire. For me, it’s the other way around. Abramovich’s truckload of money lured Scolari to London, but I’m sure it won’t be enough to keep him if the Brazilian can’t do things the way he wants. If Roman wants his Chelsea to go the extra mile, Scolari needs to stay.

Deco takes on his fellow countrymen

During their morning walks in Cascais, Portugal, my wife’s grandparents more than once came across Scolari tanning and relaxing at the beaches of the beautiful city, where the gaffer also lived during his Portuguese days. It’s heaven on Earth, a place that makes him “smile on the inside,” as he once said. (Needless to say that he also cashed in big while coaching the Seleccionado.)

Leading Chelsea to Champions League glory is a challenge he will fully embrace, provided he’s free to work. After all, Scolari will always be faithful to his “my way or the highway” policy. Even if he’s the one who takes the highway out of greyish London. No problem at all.

Sunny Cascais is right there on the corner, always waiting for him.

Flu vs LDU: kill or be killed at the Maracanã

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:44:00 GMT

If you listen to what the Fluminense folks have been saying for the past few days, a Brazilian win in Wednesday's Copa Libertadores final second leg at the Maracanã against LDU is as certain as death and taxes.

It seems the 4-2 defeat in the Quito game never happened. Coach Renato Gaúcho and his players are backing themselves in such a way that even the party-happy Brazilian press is talking about “excess of confidence.”

Claudio Bieler celebrates giving LDU first-leg lead

Here’s a selection of quotes from the self-assured tricolores:

“We’ll leave the Maracanã stadium as champions. We’ll score as many goals as necessary.” – coach Renato Gaúcho

“I don’t know how I’m going to lift the trophy. I’ll see that at the moment.” – captain Luiz Alberto

“Fluminense has overcome tougher situations against bigger clubs like São Paulo and Boca Juniors. With all due respect, LDU won’t hold us down.” – coach Renato Gaúcho

“LDU’s best player won’t show up to the Maracanã game. It’s the altitude.” – forward Washington

“We’re not desperate. It’s LDU who should be desperate, because they’ll face Fluminense in a sold out Maracanã.” – coach Renato Gaúcho

For some unknown reasons, they’re talking the talk like there was no tomorrow. And there won’t be one if they don’t walk the walk.

Losing the Copa Libertadores would have a devastating effect on Fluminense, whose continental obsession is driving them rock bottom in the National Championship.

Their five losses and three draws in eight games have been tolerated by the fans only because they’ve been promised the Libertadores.

Bouncing back from such a difficult situation without the South American crown won’t be easy.

Dario Conca keeps Fluminense in contention

Sure, Fluminense has what it takes to reverse LDU’s advantage.

Winning by two goals at the Maracanã isn’t a herculean task, but they should be aware that only once in the history of the Libertadores final has a team overcame a two-goal deficit to take the crown – Colombia’s Atlético Nacional in 1989.

And there’s also LDU in their way. At first, the Ecuatorians didn’t mind the bold interviews from the Brazilians. Coach Edgardo Bauza had said Renato Gaúcho was right in believing his team. But such despise for LDU made him change his mind, and send a message to his fellow gaffer.

“If I was a soothsayer, I wouldn’t be a football coach. I’d be rich predicting things. What I can assure is that, to take the Libertadores from us, they’ll have to kill us.”

Life’s a beach for Ronaldo transvestite

Celso de Campos Jr — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 10:38:00 GMT

As Ronaldo knows only too well, life is full of surprises.

For instance, we thought nothing could be worse than a Ronnie look-a-like starring in a porn movie.

Well surprise, surprise...

Andréia Albertini, one of the three transvestites caught with the player in a motel room, is now the star of her own x-rated flick. And speculation on whether another Ronnie clone will seen be on screen is already running high.

She’s a phenomenon, an Icaro Studios production, is set to be released in early July. And the movie is only one of the recent pieces of good news for 'her.'

After trying to “get up on life” at the expense of the Milan player, life has been a beach for Andréia – formerly known as a man named André Luiz Albertini.

She has debuted in the theatre, starring in a play entitled “I’m the star” in a gay restaurant called Bill Pizza Cultural Room. She did modelling jobs for Daspu, a fashion label of clothing set up by a group of prostitutes. Also, she’s preparing a book of her stories. And, last but not least, her sexual fare also went sky high: from R$100 (around £30) to R$300.

With all this, of course, Andréia doesn’t regret calling the police and lying to the cops about what happened with Ronaldo.

At the time, she said the player had sex with the transvestites but declined to pay them. When the true story came to light, the damage was already done.

“It was a scam that paid off,” she admitted.

Enough said.

EXCLUSIVE: Copa Libertadores champions revealed

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 16:23:00 GMT

WARNING: THIS BLOG MAY CONTAIN A SPOILER!

Ladies and gentleman, señoras y señores, after 136 games it’s finally time to find out who becomes the rulers of South America.

Fluminense and Liga Deportiva Universitaria clash tonight in the first-leg of the Copa Libertadores final in Quito. Next Wednesday, the tournament will conclude at the Maracanã.

Regular readers know my predictions for the Libertadores have been consistently lame. But, as promised, I have saved up enough cosmic energy to reveal the upcoming winner. It’s almost time, but first let’s examine the runners and riders.

Ask any Fluminense fan and they will tell you the club is already making room in their trophy cabinet. The squad from Rio de Janeiro knocked out São Paulo and Boca Juniors on the road to the final. Losing to the Ecuatorian underdogs seems all-but-impossible.

But unfortunately for the Cariocas, impossible is a word very fashionable these days, employed from the samba country - where Sport snatched the Copa do Brasil away from Corinthians - to the old continent, with the likes of Turkey and Russia upsetting the odds at the European Championships.

Despite having an easier path to the final, LDU, who have made a habit recently of playing beautiful football but failing to win games, have what it takes to beat Fluminense.

Coach Edgardo Bauza has formed an interesting mix of experienced players from the Ecuatorian national team - goalkeeper Cevallos, right-back David Guerron and midfielders Urrutia and Bolaños - with key foreign athletes, Argentinian Norberto Araujo and Paraguayan Enrique Vera through the middle, and Argentinians Manso and Bieler upfront.

But, of course, the Brazilians’ arsenal is way better. Coach Renato Gaúcho has the squad in the palm of his hands, and knows exactly how to motivate his players at crunch time.

As a result, striker Washington has been pushing the team forward with crucial goals against São Paulo and Boca, whilst centre-back Thiago Silva has been almost flawless in defense. Coming from the bench, Dodô can also be decisive, while the only dissonant note is midfielder Thiago Neves, a talented player who’s been struggling since day one in the Libertadores.

Having said that, it’s time for the big revelation. Stop here if you’ll be watching the game and don’t want me to ruin the surprise.

The winner of the Copa Libertadores will be...

Drum roll, please...

Liga Deportiva Universitaria.

Yep. After Sport Recife and Russia, there’s going to be another big upset in the football world this month.

Remember, you heard it here first.

Introducing Charlie Bullet, God’s Brazilian buddy

Celso de Campos Jr — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 11:52:00 GMT

Italians all around the world are surely praying to God for a win against the French today. In this particular case, I wouldn’t trust such an important request to the Pope – the man is German and he’ll probably ask for a Romania win to see the two foes knocked out.

But there’s no need to worry. Truth is, if you want God to really listen to your pleas your wingman is Brazilian diminute striker Carlinhos Bala – Charlie Bullet in English. Last week, the Almighty talked to our 1.62m, 64kg Sport Recife ace at least twice.

At least that’s the story the player gave before the second leg of the Copa do Brasil final against Corinthians on Wednesday. Underdog Sport needed a 2-0 home win to clinch the title against the São Paulo giants, who had won the first leg 3-1.

Carlinhos Bala, however, knew what would happen in advance thanks to the divine messages he swore to have received from the Lord. “I went to Church to ask Him to give us the title. God said He would do it. I’m going to bed relaxed today. Why should I lose some sleep if God promised me the title?,” he asked on the eve of the final.

Fellow countryman Kaka doesn't belong to AC Milan...

The next day, around lunchtime, the man upstairs showed up again just in case the player had missed the first dispatch. “I was driving to the stadium. When I stopped at a traffic light, God talked to me again. He repeated that He would give the title to us.”

Later on, the Almighty kept his promise. Sport won 2-0, with Carlinhos Bala netting the opener, handing them the Copa do Brasil trophy on away goals. “Now I’m going to Church on Sunday to thank Him for the title,” announced the blessed striker.

With such intimacy with the eternal one, I guess he could have done it while brushing his teeth. Or at the barbershop, while adjusting his weird hairdo – which earned him the nickname Pineapple Head. Truth is cherub-sized Carlinhos Bala seems to be God’s contact on Earth.

I would post Bala’s mobile phone number on here for any interested parties, but I’m afraid I also have a request to God myself. Tomorrow there’s Brazil and Argentina going head-to-head in World Cup qualifying action.

And I guess God would be better focusing on just the one match at a time.

Boring, boring Brazil just a disguise... hopefully

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:20:00 GMT

There’s no need to explain to you British people how boring Brazil friendlies usually are. You’ve seen enough of them lately with London becoming the official capital of the samba boys' (drowsy) exhibition matches.

Last weekend, however, I managed to stay awake during both games of the Seleção’s United States tour, because I couldn’t take my eyes off of the TV during the clashes against the mighty Canada and Venezuela.

Yes. I was just anticipating the moment Brazil, playing as lethargic as allowed by the legal limits, would come unstuck against one of the above powerhouses. History-making was just around the corner.

Against Canada, it was close. The courageous maple-leafed team missed a host of opportunities when the game was tied at 2-2 before self-destructing and gift-wrapping Robinho Brazil's third goal.

Canada come close to upsetting Seleção, going down 3-2

So it came down to Venezuela to put Dunga's boys out of their misery. The same Venezuela that had lost their previous 17 matches against Brazil, scoring only four goals and conceding 78. But who cares about statistics?

After a pathetic first half, Brazil went into the break 2-0 down. I thought someone would pull their finger out in the second half. Robinho, Adriano, Pato, Luis Fabiano, Diego, Elano. How hard can it be scoring against Venezuela?

Too hard, apparently. Game over and Venezuela's first ever win against Brazil. Humiliation for the Seleção, party time for the Vinotintos (Red wine, Venezuela's nickname after the colour of their kit).

Vega and Chacon celebrate first ever win against Brazil

President-slash-nutjob Hugo Chavez, predictably, saluted the team in his speech. But not in a ordinary way, of course. Between screams and curses, he narrated the goals, mocked the Brazilians and announced no one would stop Venezuela in South Africa at the 2010 World Cup.

Back on Planet Earth there’s no need for despair in Brazil. At least not for now. The Seleção has a history of only playing when it matters – and that’s what the fans rely on. In 2001, for instance, Big Phil Scolari’s team lost to Honduras. The following year, they conquered the world.

Two-faced Brazil now face two tough World Cup qualifiers: Paraguay (away) and Argentina (home). Good results in both will completely erase the embarrassment against Venezuela. New failures, however, will throw coach Dunga - as we say in Portuguese - in “bad sheets.”

If he has trouble falling asleep, he can always request a copy of one of Brazil’s recent friendlies. Works every time.

Unfancied sides prevail in Brazilian FA Cup too

Celso de Campos Jr — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 23:00:00 GMT

Brazil’s version of the FA Cup - the Copa do Brasil - will come to an end this Wednesday when Corinthians and Sport do battle in Recife in the second leg of the final.

Unlike its English equivalent, the Copa do Brasil is an extremely new tournament - first contested in 1987 - so it lacks the tradition and charm of older competitions. But if its trophy isn’t that glamorous, its prize is – a guaranteed ticket to the Copa Libertadores.

This year, however, there’s more at stake than unknown silverware and a Libertadores spot. Corinthians and Sport are playing for redemption.

Yes, it sounds cliché – and it is – but there’s no other way of putting it.

Slain by off-pitch scandals and on-pitch shame last year, Corinthians were relegated to the second division. And a bad campaign in the São Paulo State Championship earlier this year seemed to asure them a stock of laughs for the entire campaign.

With an average team without stars – their best players have been young midfielder Dentinho and obscure Argentinian Herrera – coach Mano Menezes’ squad have quietly advanced through the Copa do Brasil. Noone betted on them.

Dentinho celebrates giving Corinthians first-leg lead

Next thing you know, 70.000 proud Corintianos were jam-packing the Morumbi Stadium from the quarter-finals on. The t-shirt “I will never abandon you” became this season's top selling football product and the flags of the club returned to the São Paulo streets.

Sport, on the other hand, have had plenty of success lately. The team from Recife have won the last three Pernambuco State tournaments. But, as with most North East teams, they have gone nowhere at national level for almost two decades, and this harmlessness led them to be discarded in advance by the press.

So the clashes against the powerhouses from the South were seen by their players as pride battles. And they indeed knocked out three Brazilian football giants: Palmeiras, Internacional and Vasco. A win against Corinthians, they think, would place Sport definitely amongst the greats.

In the first leg of the final last Wednesday Corinthians started at full throttle, scoring two goals in less than 20 minutes through Dentinho and Herrera. Uruguayan Acosta added a third in the second half and it seemed the tie was over. Until Enilton’s goal in injury time made it 3-1 giving Sport half a chance for the second leg.

The team from Recife still need a 2-0 home win to lift the Copa do Brasil, but their fans are excited. Considering Sport’s fantastic record in the Ilha do Retiro Stadium throughout the tournament – 4-1 vs Palmeiras, 3-1 vs Internacional and 2-0 vs Vasco – they are allowed to be.

And then use the clichés as if there was no tomorrow.

Prediction-free preview of Copa Libertadores clash

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:00:00 GMT

After another dismal performance previewing the Copa Libertadores quarter-finals – with three misses out of four – I humbly excused myself from trying to forecast the tournament's semi-finals.

I’m sure you, faithful reader, noticed it and even though this silence spared you a good crack at my expense I’m confident you understood and supported my decision. Thank you.

The good news is that during this break I saved enough energy for one last oracular blog before the final. So don’t forget to return here on June 25 on the eve of the first leg when I’ll announce the upcoming Libertadores champ. Just don’t let your bookie know.

Anyway, back to business.

LDU have sealed their ticket to the final. The Ecuatorians advanced on away goals after a goalless draw in the second-leg – after tieing the first game 1-1 – against America in Quito.

Not that they didn’t have opportunities to score, mind. The Mexican defense kept inviting them in but it seems forwards Salas and Bieler were saving their best for the final – pretty much like me and my predictions.

Cevallos and Delgado celebrate LDU's place in final

Their opponents will be known after tonight following the big clash between Brazil and Argentinia, which is – for most people – the final before the final. Fluminense and Boca Juniors drew 2-2 in Buenos Aires last week, giving the Rio de Janeiro side the advantage on away goals.

I’m not going to predict anything, but it’s worth noting that Boca drew 2-2 with Atlas in the first leg of the quarter-finals, also in Argentina. The Mexicans got all excited at the prospect of making the last four, but the Xeneizes then slaughtered them in their own back yard with an easy 3-0 victory.

Fluminense, of course, isn’t Atlas. Renato Gaúcho’s boys are talented and fired up after eliminating powerhouse São Paulo in a thrilling match in the quarters. And drawing at Boca was also an excellent result.

But they should be aware it means nothing against their formidable opponents. The truth is Boca Juniors don't care about advantages or away goals. They play to win, and they’re always confident they can pull it off. And they usually do. That’s how they've won four of the last eight Libertadores Cups.

And there’s more. If you’re playing Boca, it’s not a good thing to be Brazilian. Their record against samba teams in Copa Libertadores playoffs is unbelievable. 13 matches, 12 wins. The only loss? Against Pelé’s Santos... in the 1960s.

Given the Argentina national team's poor record against the Seleção, why haven’t they considered handing over the Albiceleste shirts only to Boca players? It's a good for us Brazilians that their directors are not that bright!

Nevertheless, the excitement in Rio de Janeiro for the second semi-final is in the air. Fluminense played this weekend in the National Championship, putting out a reserve side who lost 1-0 to Flamengo. Coach Renato Gaúcho said the defeat didn’t matter because they are within touching distance of winning the Libertadores.

More than 70,000 tickets have been sold for the clash at the Maracanã. It’s going to be a beautiful party. Unless...

Boca strut around Maracana ahead of Copa Lib semi

Lame penalties, lice and Edmundo’s flash retirement

Celso de Campos Jr — Fri, 30 May 2008 16:39:00 GMT

After weeks of placid quietude, Edmundo has had another outburst. After missing a crucial penalty kick in the Copa do Brasil semi-final, our very own Animal shaved his head and announced his retirement on Thursday.

I don’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday. But I do remember Edmundo’s performance at penalty kicks. Below par, to say it with the due respect the former Brazilian international deserves.

So I couldn’t believe it when I saw him walking up to the penalty spot once again – this time in the Vasco vs Sport shootout on Wednesday.

He had just netted Vasco’s second goal - in the 91st minute - which tied the aggregate score and took the game to penalties. So, even if his team didn’t go through, the 37-year-old was going to be praised for getting them that far.

But things seldom end well with Edmundo. As he strolled up to the spot you could see what the fans were thinking. “No, not him! Please no.” In other words: you could see the train wreck around the corner, but couldn’t warn the driver.

The Animal then punted the ball on to the Copacabana and Sport got their ticket to face Corinthians in the final – more about this game next week – by winning the shootout 5-4.

Oh, and last year Edmundo had also caused Palmeiras' elimination from the same Copa do Brasil by missing a penalty in the shootout against minnows Ipatinga.

Edmundo shoots and, predictably, misses

Team-mates said the striker cried a lot in the dressing room. Next day, when he returned to São Januário, he showed up bald and talked about hanging up his boots. “I’m angry with my self, shaving the head was a punishment. I can’t take it anymore, I’m anticipating my retirement. I’ll let the president know.”

But kingpin Eurico Miranda didn’t accept Edmundo’s resignation. “He’s important to the club. It wasn’t his fault that Vasco was eliminated. He’s a club employee and will practice on Friday.”

The president even mocked the Animal. “I asked him if he shaved his hair off because he had lice. He said he did it because he was upset. Ok then, I replied, now go home and be back here tomorrow.”

This time, fans supported the resolution of the controversial Eurico Miranda, whose decisions precipitated Romário’s retirement. But perhaps they won’t welcome coach Antônio Lopes’ idea. “Edmundo is still the official penalty taker. I don’t see why not.”

For everyone’s sake, Edmundo should keep on playing – providing that he stays far away from the spot, of course. And, given the coach’s view, this decision has to be taken by the player himself.

He’s old enough to know he’s a lame penalty taker, admitting it won’t stain his resume. Not that he's ever worried about that...

No Kaka, no cry as Pato takes on the Olympics

Celso de Campos Jr — Sun, 25 May 2008 11:00:00 GMT

Early this week, coach Dunga announced Kaká was fundamental to his plans for the upcoming Olympic tournament in Beijing. But Milan’s answer came as rapidly and predictably as a 3am picture of Amy Winehouse falling over: no, no, no. Backed by Fifa’s ruling, the Italians announced they won’t release the current World Best Player. They will make available only their under-23 athletes – in other words, Alexandre Pato.

The gaffer didn’t like it, obviously. He complained Kaká should have made a bigger effort to convince the club to let him go, since the Olympics are Brazil’s main goal in 2008.

Kaka (back) and Pato: "You go, son, I'll stay"

Poor Dunga. More than anyone, he should have known better. It wasn’t going to happen. After all, Kaká’s commitment to the national team, unfortunately, has been a plain joke. Generally, Kaká has been acting like he’s very important to the Seleção. He should learn it’s the other way around for any player, from Pelé to Ronaldo, from Zico to Adriano.

Last year, he turned down the call to the Copa America. For those who don’t remember, the Milan star said he was “tired”, and indeed was granted the rest. (Ronaldinho did the same thing. Meanwhile, Robinho and a fully-fledged Argentina showed up for the neighbourly clash in Venezuela.)

Personally, I warmly welcome the veto from the Italians. To me, Brazil’s chance of gold in Beijing increases significantly if the Milan prima donna isn’t around. If he goes, Dunga will build the squad to play around him. Just like in Germany, when he and Ronaldinho were supposed to be the stars – and all we got was deep frustration.

Now, it’s Robinho’s turn to be Brazil’s leader. The Madrid ace showed in Copa America that he’s a natural, guiding a young team to the title by trashing star-filled Argentina 3-0. Besides, in the Olympics, he can team up with young gun Alexandre Pato – who, by the way, could do the job by himself, if needed. I’ve already said here Pato’s the real deal; it’s a matter of time until he takes on the lead in Milan. (Ancelotti’s departure from Rossoneri hot seat would surely speed things up.)

If given the opportunity, Robinho and Alexandre Pato can start in Beijing a long and successful partnership. Ronaldinho and Kaká will be history before they make it.

Robinho and Pato: Brazil's present and future?

Balls on the block for Copa Lib

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 21 May 2008 15:32:00 GMT

After flunking big-time in the previews for the round of 16 – calling an impressive five matches out of eight wrong – here I am again to fearlessly entertain you with my so-called predictions of the Copa Libertadores, which closes its quarter-final phase this week.

This time, to avoid further shame, I delayed my prognoses until after the first legs. But since no team set up a definitive advantage after the initial 90 minutes of action, the only thing I got with this delay is being called a coward.

Fluminense (BRA) vs São Paulo (BRA) Wed, first leg 0-1
This is one of São Paulo’s poorest team in years; they’re being pushed along by Adriano’s performances alone – once again, he netted the winner last week. Fluminense have a top quality squad, with many talented players, but the fact that it’s their first Libertadores in almost 23 years might hurt them. If São Paulo get one, Renato Gaúcho’s boys won’t have punch to score three. And will they be able to hold Adriano? São Paulo are the safer choice.

Atlas (MEX) vs Boca Juniors (ARG) Wed, first leg 2-2
Drawing 2-2 away would be a great advantage if your opponents weren’t Boca Juniors. In the Libertadores, you simply can’t rule the Bosteros out. Boca have overcome greater deficits away from home, and I’m afraid they will do so again. Some might point out that they already lost 3-1 to Atlas in Mexico during the group stage. But this is the playoffs, folks. With their heads on the line, the Argentinians will deliver again.

Atlas have fun in Buenos Aires; will they be celebrating again?

LDU Quito (EQU) vs San Lorenzo (ARG) Thu, first leg 1-1
It’s up for grabs here. San Lorenzo’s keeper gave the Ecuadorians an early Christmas gift last week, but, as mum tells us, Christmas comes but once a year. I’ve seen LDU play well the whole competition and still get knocked out – that’s why I have a major issue with betting on them. San Lorenzo don’t inspire my trust either, but after sending River Plate home, I’ll give them credit for another win. San Lorenzo to triumph on away goals (how daring am I...?)

Santos (BRA) vs America (MEX) Thu, first leg 0-2
No one ever thought America would overcome their 4-2 defeat to Flamengo, but they won 3-0 at Maracanã. Now, few people think they will blow their excellent two-goal advantage over Santos at Vila Belmiro. But I’m one of them. In Kleber Pereira the Brazilians have a striker able to score three goals in less than a half. If Santos manage to net at least one in the first 45 minutes, America’s gates will open. Count on that.

So that’s it. Two Brazilian teams, two Argentinian teams. Remember, you read here first. Or simply forget about it...

America’s success not done the Mexican way

Celso de Campos Jr — Sun, 18 May 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Mexican football usually catches the fans’ eyes with a beautiful, exciting, offensive game. But historically it has led them to nothing but disappointment.

With no major international crowns – except in the Concacaf competitions, where they play alone – their clubs, performing well but failing to deliver at crunch time, tend to live up to the national team motto: jugó como nunca, perdió como siempre (played like never before, lost as usual).

This year, however, America is not honoring this tradition.

Perhaps the most successful side in Mexico’s football history, the Eagles entered this Libertadores campaign with one of their worst squads ever. No-one thought they would go further than a burrito left alone in the sun.

But, playing mostly miserable football, they are somehow still alive and kicking. On Thursday night they beat Santos at home 2-0, taking a huge advantage to Vila Belmiro for the second leg.

How do I begin to explain that the team that reached rock bottom at home are a step away from the Libertadores semifinals? Sorry, I just can’t do that.

The only thing for sure is that the turning point of their campaign was the clash against Flamengo in the Libertadores’ round of 16 earlier this month.

They went into the first leg as the worst team in the Mexican Clausura: two wins, two draws and 11 (yes, 11) losses. No wonder the Azteca Stadium was empty for the game against the high-flying Brazilians, who killed the poor birds 4-2.

After the fourth goal America’s Argentine gaffer, Ruben Romano, made with his hands the unequivocal “it’s over” sign. And in the changing rooms, to avoid further shame, he resigned from his job.

But in the second leg, at the Maracanã Stadium, headless America needed a 3-0 win to qualify. In other words, a miracle. Which it was just what they got.

Miracle worker: Salvador Cabanas

Yes, it was the game of their lives. But, no, it wasn’t brilliant football, an eye-popping performance of epic heroes. America pragmatically scored the three goals they had to – not the usual Mexican way.

The Eagles were then reborn. More than 105,000 proud fans painted the Azteca in yellow and blue to host Santos. Once again, they got the job done without flamboyancy.

Having said this, it’s fitting that America’s saviour is un-hyped Paraguayan striker Salvador Cabañas. The butt of all jokes in the Mexican press because of his corpulent figure, the pony-tailed matador proved he’s worth his weight in gold (all of it) by bagging a brace in the wins against Flamengo and Santos.

With eight goals in the tournament he’s now the Libertadores top scorer, tied with Cruzeiro’s Marcelo Moreno who is already out of the race.

Not even his mum would bet on him.

The greatest signing for Brazilian porn ever

Celso de Campos Jr — Sat, 10 May 2008 12:00:00 GMT

Back in the day when Ronaldo knew how to distinguish women from tranvestites, many ladies made their lives by capitalising on their flings.

The careers of models Daniella Cicarelli and Raica Oliveira took off after short stints as Mrs. Ronaldo. Cicarelli actually tied knots with him in a fairytale wedding – too bad the matrimony only lasted three months.

Before them, however, there was Nádia França and Viviane Brunieri. In the 1990’s those two dated the, then, Ronaldinho for a while – once at a time, obviously.

After the striker booted them, they decided to join forces to create a band called As Ronaldinhas. The duo posed nude for Playboy magazine, but somehow their first-class musical talent couldn’t push them further.

Nádia – who got pregnant by Ronaldo but had a miscarriage – then moved on to date fellow Brazilian forward Alex Alves before becoming a “fashion entrepreneur”. Viviane, on the other hand, did some modelling jobs after 2003 and then went to Japan to try her luck. No one had heard from her again – until now.

Leading Brazilian porn studio, Sexxxy had been announcing “the greatest signing for Brazilian porn ever” to celebrate their 20th anniversary. And the secret was unveiled this week.

Viviane Brunieri, as Vivi Ronaldinha, stars in “My First Time”, an erotic recollection of her glory days – sharing the screen with a Ronnie look-a-like, who has finally been rewarded for his ugliness.

Like Ronaldo, Viviane kind of supersized herself – in a good way, though – over the last years. Wisely, the player hasn’t commented on his former girlfriend's new job.

By the way, the transvestites revealed this week that no sex taken place in the motel room – they lied to the police because they spotted an opportunity to “go up on life” at Ronaldo’s expense.

Well, they weren’t the first ones...

Ronaldo look-a-like: Finally rewarded for his ugliness

All hail the state champions we've never heard of

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 07 May 2008 09:35:00 GMT

Ladies and gentlemen, the first part of Brazilian football season is over. Most of the major State tournaments ended on Sunday – which means we already have 14 newly-crowned champions around the country.

Some of them you probably never heard of – for instance, Itumbiara, the new kings of Goiás, or the CSA, which beat ASA in the battle of the letters to secure the Alagoas trophy.

But don’t worry, you’re not alone. Since only nine states are represented in the elite of the Brazilian championship, many of those teams are unknown even to the local fans.

So every year, when the champions are crowned, we have a surprise. This season, for instance, we happily discovered that Holanda, formerly known only as an European country, also is a football team from the Amazonas state.

And, less than a year after joining the professionals, they won their first title at the State’s elite, overcoming powerhouses Fast and São Raimundo.

So here's the list of the champions so far. Kudos to them all!

State: Champions
São Paulo: Palmeiras
Rio de Janeiro: Flamengo
Minas Gerais: Cruzeiro
Rio Grande do Sul: Internacional
Paraná: Coritiba
Santa Catarina: Figueirense
Bahia: Vitória
Alagoas: CSA
Ceará: Fortaleza
Pernambuco: Sport
Goiás: Itumbiara
Distrito Federal: Brasiliense
Mato Grosso: Mixto
Amazonas: Holanda

2007 champs Santos seek sturdy shelf in trophy cabinet

Hand of the Emperor officials back with a flash

Celso de Campos Jr — Thu, 01 May 2008 06:00:00 GMT

Do you remember the refereeing tandem Paulo César de Oliveira and Maria Eliza Barbosa, who let Adriano’s 'Hand of the Emperor' goal stand?

Well, Palmeiras’ intervention prevented them to be considered for work on the São Paulo State final, but they somehow managed to be selected to officiate the Minas Gerais match.

This time, even bad refereeing like theirs couldn't prevent high-flying Cruzeiro from running over Atlético. But, once again, the duo took center-stage. Just take a look at the kits they donned for the final.

Fair enough. For lousy uniforms for lousy referees – probably approved by Ronaldo’s transvestite friends.

Fried rooster: a dish best served cold

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:32:00 GMT

Last year at the Minas Gerais State Championship final, Cruzeiro were pounded by their cross-town archrivals Atlético 4-0.

It was supposed to be close game to call, so no one saw the ugly massacre coming – especially goalkeeper Fábio, who blacked out after the third goal and literally didn’t see Vanderlei scoring the fourth.

The unexpected result was the end of the line for newly-appointed coach Paulo Autuori, who was signed for a truckload of money but gave up his job whilst still in the dressing rooms – the Belo Horizonte foes have a Celtic-Rangers kind of rivalry.

“I can’t go on after this. I’m ashamed as a man and a professional,” he said, already packing his bags.

So, all through 2007 Atlético fans mocked their foes wildly. Despite the humiliation still resounding, the State losers eventually bounced back at the Brazilian championship, earning a Copa Libertadores spot in the last round of matches.

Atlético didn’t do so well, but who cared? Their year was already won with the 4-0 thrashing and the Minas Gerais trophy.

But the Fox, as Cruzeiro is known in Brazil, waited silently. They were looking for the right time to attack Atlético – or the Rooster, their nickname.

Revenge finally came exactly one year and two days later, at the same stage – the Mineirão Stadium jam-packed for the first leg of the State tournament decider.

Mercilessly, Cruzeiro trashed Atlético 5-0, paying them back with interest. It was the biggest score-line between the two clubs ever recorded in the Mineirão history.

The Rooster aka Atlético get deep fried and battered by Cruzeiro

While the Foxes enjoy their fried rooster meal - best served cold - Atlético, who celebrate their centenary this year, try to piece themselves together.

Their coach, Geninho (Portuguese for “little genious”), had obviously experienced better days but stuck to his job – despite the protests of the fans, who tried to break in the directors meeting and had to be shooed away by the police.

We still have the second leg next Sunday, but the title already belongs to Cruzeiro. The sensational victory also provided the added bonus of facing Boca Juniors in the Copa Libertadores round of 16.

The first game is today at La Bombonera. Not to be missed.

Copa Lib knock-out stage: runners 'n' riders

Celso de Campos Jr — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 09:25:00 GMT

Football lovers around the world, the group phase of Copa Libertadores – South America’s Champions League – is over, and the knockout phases begin in earnest tomorrow (Tuesday) at Lanus. So let’s preview the clashes in the ‘round of 16’ with the sharpest predictions you’ll find anywhere. Well, maybe...

CA Lanús (ARG) vs Atlas (MEX) (Tue Apr 29, Tue May 6)
The only undefeated squad at the Libertadores, Lanús should keep their record through this round: despite finishing atop their group, Atlas haven’t been impressive. Besides, if the Argentinians manage to stop fellow countryman Bruno Marioni, they’re halfway through.

LDU Quito (ECU) vs Estudiantes LP (ARG) (Tue Apr 29, Wed May 7)
The Ecuadorians have been trying for some years, displaying a fair share of good football (as in this year’s 6-1 rout of poor Arsenal) but tend to bottle it at the last minute. Estudiantes will repeat the dose in this tournament.

Boca Juniors (ARG) vs Cruzeiro (BRA) (Wed Apr 30, Wed May 7)
The game of the round: one of Brazil’s best outfits against the defending champions, who seem to always do the job when it’s needed. Cruzeiro have the tournament’s top scorer, eight-goal Bolivian Marcelo Moreno, but Juan Roman Riquelme’s boys will somehow squeeze through – in spite of, Maradona will say, coach Carlos Ischia.

CF América (MEX) vs Flamengo (BRA) (Wed Apr 30, Wed May 7)
Life without miracle-worker Joel Santana – who saved them from relegation in the last nine games in 2005 but has now taken over from Carlos Alberto Perreira in charge of South Africa – is a mystery for Flamengo. Their first challenge is to shoot down the Mexican Eagles, always a tough opponent up there. But America have had better teams, so the Brazilians will escape this one.

Santana: "Tickets, money, passport, iPod, something to read on the plane..."

San Lorenzo (ARG) vs River Plate (ARG) (Wed Apr 30, Thu May 8)
My fellow blogger Daniel “Argie Bargy” Neilson can tell you more about this all-Argentine clash, but my feeling is that River Plate will send the roller-coaster San Lorenzo off the rails. They won’t be able to hold Sebastian Abreu, Falcao Garcia and the rest of River’s artillery, which tops the tournament chart with 14 goals.

Atlético Nacional (COL) vs Fluminense (BRA) (Wed Apr 30, Tue May 6)
The Brazilians had the first round’s best campaign, playing some very nice football. But they’re rather inexperienced in Libertadores – unlike Atlético Nacional, who will use the Atanasio Girardot stadium’s “Welcome to Hell” factor to scare the visitors. Still, I’d guess Fluminense will survive.

Nacional (URU) vs São Paulo FC (BRA) (Wed Apr 30, Wed May 7)
Adriano is the only remarkable thing about São Paulo, who will have to overcome the painful State Championship defeat to Palmeiras to beat a Uruguayan side always fierce at home. It’s gonna be an even one, but São Paulo will prevail.

Santos FC (BRA) vs Cúcuta Deportivo (COL) (Thu May 1, Thu May 8)
Cúcuta aren’t a surprise package any more: they made the semis last year and these teams have already clashed in the group phase, with a draw on the opening day and a last-minute Santos win in the last game. It’s time now for skilled Cúcuta to beat the Vila Belmiro squad and advance.

She-Monkey and Spider-Man prepare to pound Palmeiras

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 09:05:00 GMT

They have a female monkey (with lipstick and, sometimes, high heels!) as a mascot and a spider under the goalposts. Welcome to the animal kingdom of Associaçao Atletica Ponte Preta, the oldest professional Brazilian side still in existence: 107 years alive, kicking and eating bananas.

Based in Campinas, a million-strong city 50 miles from Sao Paulo, Ponte Preta have never won a major trophy in their history - unlike crosstown rivals Guarani, who were Brazilian champions in 1978 (the only provincial team to do so). Oh, and additionally, the poor Macaca were relegated from the elite in 2006.

So life’s a b!tch for Ponte Preta fans, right?

Wrong.

Despite the poor historical record, their supporters – who are among the most passionate in Brazil – have been having the last laugh recently. First, 2008 marked five years without losing to Guarani, which equals a World Cup title in the city’s hate-o-meter.

Sure, Ponte Preta went down in 2006, but their fans could still mock their foes, who suffered a worse fate that season: enduring relegation to the third division. By 2008, Guarani, drowning in debt, were forced to announced that they’ll sell their stadium to pay the bills – a goldmine of derision to Ponte Preta fans.

And last but not least, a 2-1 win over Guaratingueta has sent Ponte Preta to the final of the Sao Paulo State Championship for the fourth time in their history. The bedlam in the black-and-white half of Campinas will last at least for the next two decades.

Ponte Preta mascot Macaca gives it loads

The away win came thanks to one of the best goalkeeping performances in living memory. Mario Costa, dubbed Aranha – Portuguese for spider – spun a web over the goalmouth and produced superhero saves to foil the puzzled Guaratingueta forwards. You can see highlights of Spider-Man’s heroic night, which included a penalty stop and a miraculous double-save – at 1m10s – here.

Of course, as finalists the Macaca are overshadowed by powerful Palmeiras, who despatched Sao Paulo with a 2-0 win and are the undisputed favourites to lift the trophy, with their star-filled squad led by manicured coach Vanderlei Luxemburgo. But we’ve seen underdogs biting the shoo-ins before. And the female monkey would love to smudge her lipstick on the trophy...

Farewell to a genius... and to a brand new Ferrari

Celso de Campos Jr — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 10:45:00 GMT

Fourteen years after first talking about ending his career – following Brazil’s 1994 World Cup title – Romário finally announced he’s done with football at the launch of his 1,000 goals DVD project in Rio de Janeiro this week.

The Noise from Brazil has already pondered what life would be like without the Shorty, but we'll once again pay tribute to the diminutive genius, the biggest menace a defender could face inside the box.

This time, though, we’ll let Romário do the talking.

Chosen by himself, here are the 11 top goals of the ace’s career. (Note that the goal chosen this week by the fans in the El Mundo Deportivo poll as Barcelona’s all-time best is only the 6th on Romário’s list).

Thanks again, Shorty!

In retirement, football won’t give Romário any more headaches – he resigned, remember, from his player/coach position at Vasco because of pain-in-the-ass directors bothering him.

But the same can’t be said about his friends.

Earlier this week while partying at a nightclub in Rio, he lent the keys to his Ferrari F-430 to a pal named Beto. Forty minutes later, at 6am, he received a call from his buddy, crying. Below is the result.

As he always did on the pitch, Romário kept a cool head and made fun of the situation. “That was fine. Beto is like a brother, I won’t charge him a cent.

"But from now on I’ll only lend him my old VW Beetle.”

Divine justice and the Hand of the Emperor

Celso de Campos Jr — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:27:00 GMT

A popular self-depreciating joke about Brazilians has God talking to a bewildered angel at the time of creation. Amazed by the natural wonders of Brazil, he approaches his boss to ask about a supposed unfairness of the man upstairs with the other countries-to-be.

Angel: “Fantastic weather, beautiful beaches, giant forests, mineral wealth, no earthquakes or tsunamis... Oh God, why have you made Brazil so wonderful next to the nations with so many problems and natural calamities?”

God: “Wait to see the kind of people I’m putting there!”

I guess the same dialogue was heard in heaven when one complained to the almighty about Brazil’s infinite capacity of producing divine players and squads. Well, the kind of people he put in place to rule our football makes up for it.

This week the latest displays of idiocy from the men in charge, following Adriano’s handball goal in the São Paulo v Palmeiras 2-1 State championship semifinal first leg, have made God proud of the balance he created for the beautiful game.

The goal in itself, allowed by referee Paulo César de Oliveira and lineswoman Maria Elisa Barbosa amidst the choleric protest of Palmeiras players, isn’t the problem. It wasn’t the first time this kind of mistake was recorded – Maradona’s infamous Hand of God in Mexico is still on our minds.

But only in Brazil you would see the ensuing acts.

It all started on the touchline. Game over, reporters flock both to the referee and to Adriano.

With his shiny wooden face, referee Paulo César de Oliveira insists nothing wrong happened – at the exact same moment that the former Internazionale ace is admitting the foul on the other side of the pitch.

Paulo César de Oliveira: “It was a regular play. We would only call it if there was intention of touching the ball, and it wasn’t in that case.”

Adriano, hardly concealing the grin: “If Maradona did it, why can’t I? It was a goal with the hand of the Emperor.”

Fantastic. But, surprisingly, the worst was yet to come.

Adriano salutes heavens after Hand of Emperor goal

The head of the Refereeing Committee, colonel Marcos Marinho (yes, colonel. Do you know any place this job would be given to a retired policeman?), said the referee’s opinion was “interesting”, and that he was going to analyse the situation before taking any action.

Colonel Marinho had plenty of time to watch the replay at home, drinking coffee and eating donuts. And also to read the newspapers, which reproduced in capital letters the guilty declaration of Adriano.

But it wasn’t enough to restore him sanity. He announced early on in the week that everything was normal and, despite Palmeiras’ objections, Paulo César de Oliveira will be on the three-name ballot to referee the tournament final – presumably an award for his great performances with the whistle. The São Paulo State Federation endorsed his statement.

Around the world, referees get severe suspensions for much lesser sins. (Not to mention that in extreme cases like the Hand of God referee, Tunisian Ali Bin Nasser, who simply disappeared for good.)

In Brazil, the only recent serious referee ban I can recall was for competent lineswoman Ana Paula de Oliveira, who posed nude last year and spent months suspended by the Refereeing Committee. Any other mistake can be swept under the rug.

That’s how it happens in the brainsick world of samba football. If you shame yourself and your colleagues in front of the cameras you go to the final. If you show your talent to the lens, you get banned.

Happy now, God?

Who’s the greatest: Pelé, Maradona... or Biro-Biro?

Celso de Campos Jr — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:33:00 GMT

For more than 1000 reasons, we Brazilians don’t take the who-was-the-best quarrel between Pelé and Maradona that seriously.

Few ideas in this century were dumber than FIFA's 2002 plan of granting the award to a player elected by a website poll. As one would expect, the Argentinian ended with 53% of the votes and the Brazilian with 18%.

(If the Chinese had been granted full internet access at the time, any tiny fan-ridden campaign would have given the trophy to NBA star Yao Ming.)

When the old geniuses in Switzerland finally realised the aberration that was about to happen, they decided to gather the "FIFA family” (journalists, coaches, players) to vote and than present the order to the winner – the internet poll was relegated to being a secondary award.

Not surprising, Pelé then topped that FIFA list with 72% whilst Maradona was third with 6%, behind fellow Argentinian Di Stefano, with 9%.

But it was too late. The Pibe’s fans (or God followers) always refer to the internet poll when entering into a serious debate to decide the best of all-time.

Sorry folks, there's more to it than that.

The choice is yours: Maradona... or Biro-Biro?

There’s no question that Maradona is a much more interesting figure than the former Santos star, whose self-bragging and bad-timing opinions can be extremely annoying sometimes.

Remember, it was another Seleção legend, Romário, who once said that Pelé with his trap shut is a poet. “As a player, he’s our king, our god, but he has to stuff a shoe in his mouth to stop talking ****.”

But comparing both on the pitch is out of place. Pelé is in a league of his own.

And, to prove Brazilians don’t hold grudges with their neighbours of the South, we’re now launching a new definitive poll, sponsored by Coca-Cola, in which the Argentinian does have a shot.

So we ask... Who’s the best: Maradona or Biro-Biro?

The iconic Corinthians midfielder from the good old 80’s never had a good shot at the National team and probably couldn’t do more than 10 keepy-uppies, but he was a tractor on the pitch – not to mention being Carlos Valderrama’s fashion idol.

Watch Coke’s delicious ad here.

Look out, Maradona. Biro-Biro has a terrific record in elections – he was elected as an alderman in São Paulo right after his retirement, in 1989.

Oh, and I forgot to say: there’s no internet voting. And unfortunately the ballot-boxes are only available in selected bars in Brazilian territory...

Good luck Diego!

The goalkeeper who wasn’t there

Celso de Campos Jr — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 16:59:00 GMT

It’s injury time and your team desperately need a goal, either to even the score or to win it when only victory will suffice. Corner to your side. The goalkeeper meanders forward and joins the melee inside the penalty-area, trying to save the day by slamming it home.

We've all been there at least once. The idea of last-minute salvation from the keeper is thrilling, fans leap to their feet, but 99.9999% of the time, the custodian's trip up-front doesn’t pay off. There’s no goal at all, not even close – only the frustration and the sour taste of defeat knocking at the door.

But the worst thing – the worst thing imaginable – is that an opponent clears the ball and knocks it into the unguarded goal. Right?

Yeah, that’s what I thought too, before watching yesterday’s Centro Limoeirense v Petrolina clash for the Pernambuco State championship.

Then I discovered that it can get worse. So much worse. And it can get worse when your defender, as Centro’s Paulo Ricardo did, forgets that your keeper is at the wrong end and inadvertently passes the ball back towards his own goal.

Yesterday, Petrolina’s forward Alan gleefully collected the loose ball and slotted it into the empty net while Ibson the keeper, despite running as if there was no tomorrow, arrived too late (view the whole hilarious spectacle here).

“It was a lack of communication," muttered Ibson. "We got the ball, but my team-mate passed the ball back to me and I wasn’t there.” Yes, almost everyone saw it, pal – except for the only man who mattered... Nevertheless, it was Ibson who became the scapegoat. Even the ball boy slated him!

Oh, the pitiful fate of the goalkeeper... Neném Prancha (1906-1976), Brazil's foremost football philosopher once wrote: “Damned is the goalkeeper. Wherever he sets his feet, not even the grass will grow.”

But as it turns out, Ibson is not entirely alone. The very same thing happened in Germany when Hamburg's Dutch international Rafael van der Vaart suffered a similar fate earlier this season with his side desperately needing an equaliser. Why not check out this one too? Then pray it doesn't happen to you.

Van der Vaart looks sheepish after moment of madness

Thugs fool futsal in biggest brawl of year

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:08:00 GMT

April 1st, 2008. On the All Fool’s Day, Santos bamboozled Bolivia’s San Jose at Vila Belmiro in the Copa Libertadores, drawing chuckles from a tickled crowd.

The beautiful 7-0 trick came up just short of the record 1962 Santos 9-1 rout over Cerro Porteño, and showed there’s something really special with Mauricio “Mao” Molina’s left foot – the Colombian netted four beauties.

But less than 100 km from there, in São Bernardo, where Palmeiras and Corinthians futsal teams decided the São Paulo championship, their torcidas organizadas – a horde of thugs dressed as football fans – regrettable chose to fool sport by engaging in the ugliest brawl of the year so far in Brazil.

On the court, it was all going fine, despite the club’s historical rivalry. The game was tied at half time – Dengue opened the score for Corinthians and Ligeiro tied for Palmeiras – when the jackasses decided to steal the show. The full, raw 8 minute battle is here.

It was a fight of two halves – against the police, the real fans and themselves. At first, they fought the enforcers, bringing horror to the families who were there to watch the match, and entered the pitch, breaking the reserves’ bench and stealing all they could to use as weapons against the enemies.

Minutes later, the police sprayed tear gas against the bullies, and the situation seemed to have gone stable. Players and fans were leaving the building when another fight broke, this time between Palmeiras ultras on the court and Corinthians organizadas on the galleries.

Chairs and rocks started to fly over again, many of them threw by the policemen – who, unprepared for the situation, used tables as shields.

Most of the cops at the scene were from the Metropolitan Police, that don’t carry guns and use only sticks as weapons. When the elite troopers finally arrived, the brawlers were already gone. Believe it or not, no one was arrested.

Palmeiras and Corinthians now will play the second half of the decision in another venue yet to be determined. Only one thing is sure, according to Gilberto Rodrigues, vice-president of the State Futsal Federation: gates will be closed.

“Brazilian futsal didn’t deserve that.” Nor the fans, the biggest victims of the thugs’ bad joke.

Giants finally awake in São Paulo

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 12:30:00 GMT

Fans of Brazilian football may have wondered why I haven’t written a single line on the fierce battle for the São Paulo State championship since this blog kicked off, late January.

Sure, there was plenty of early action in the country’s leading regional tournament where great performances from small clubs like Guaratinguetá, Ponte Preta, Barueri and Noroeste breathed fresh air into the top of the table for most of the competition.

Meanwhile, the big four (Palmeiras, São Paulo, Corinthians and Santos) were struggling big time. For some rounds, none were in the top four, setting up the prospect of two unexpectedly rural semi-finals.

But, as so often is the case, the season was just getting started and, when the push came to shove, the giants awoke. With a few games to go to the end of the first round, all of them are fighting for a spot in the semis.

After Sunday’s results, Guaratinguetá remain top, maintaining their Cinderella season, but the powerhouses are snapping at their heels.

With a record-breaking streak of nine consecutive wins, Palmeiras (2nd) sealed their ticket to the semis by pounding São Caetano 3-1 at home. It took a while, but Vanderlei Luxemburgo, hands-down Brazil’s best coach, finally made his newly assembled star-filled side play ball.

Palmeiras share the tag of favourites with São Paulo (3rd), who just need a win against little Juventus at home to clinch their berth in the final four. Adriano scored twice at the weekend to lead Muricy’s boys past Bragantino. Not an eye-popping performance, but it did the trick.

Corinthians, for whom winning the Paulistão is a matter of honour – it’s their only shot in the elite since they’ll play in the national Second Division this year – have slipped up meaning qualification is now out of their hands. They’re in 5th and will need to beat Noroeste and wait for a São Paulo or Ponte Preta (4th) draw. But their dreams are still alive... for now.

Only for Santos did the reaction come too late. The team of coach Emerson Leão paid for their relegation-like results at the beginning of the tournament, and, despite responding with a fantastic streak, winning seven of eight, saw their title hopes gone after a draw with Rio Clarob.

So now to the last round, next Sunday, which will decide if São Paulo and Corinthians progress and, last but not least, the semi- final clashes.

If they keep their current positions, a Palmeiras vs São Paulo showdown is coming. Adriano and Co. are dying for revenge since Palmeiras routed them 4-1 in their regular season match.

Which means it’s gonna get nasty... at last!

Pato's the real deal: and not just Englishmen can see it

Celso de Campos Jr — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:44:00 GMT

In Brazil, when something is done just to keep up appearances, we use the expression para inglês ver – “so the Englishman can see it”.

So, for example, you might say: “Did you see Michael Jackson is dating a 30-year-old woman?”

And I'd reply: “Oh yes... for sure... para inglês ver.”

OK, it might not make perfect sense now, but it did back in the 19th century when Brazil’s Regency government yielded to English pressure and promulgated a law forbidding the trafficking of slaves.

Everyone knew the act wasn’t going to be taken seriously – the country’s economy depended on the slaves – and word was that the Regent had passed the law just so the Englishmen could see it and stop bothering our exploitative behinds.

All of this leads me to last night’s clash between Brazil and Sweden at the Emirates Stadium – Brazil’s FIFTH game in London in less than two years. (In the same period, Brazilians have only twice been able to see the Seleção in action, once in Rio de Janeiro and once in São Paulo.)

Brazil: back in London with a new hero

Apart from the first match, when Dunga’s boys routed Argentina 3-0, the games in London have been pure deception – as most Brazil friendlies are. The win against Wales, the late draw at Wembley against England and the defeat to Portugal – all drowsy performances from bored players who couldn’t wait for the final whistle.

But somehow England wanted to see yet another Brazil match and, for U$1.5m, the Brazilian Football Confederation duly obliged.

Unsurprisingly, the celebration of the 50th anniversary of Brazil’s first World Cup title at the Emirates was going the same way: another forgettable display of from the Seleção – to summarise it, another game para inglês ver...

Then onto the field strode Alexandre Pato.

Eleven minutes after Dunga awoke from his lethargy and sent on Milan's young star, Pato lobbed Rami Shaaban, the poor Swedish keeper, to score the only goal of the game (read match report). A true gem in Pato’s very first game with the Seleção. And a real gift to the stubborn Londoners who were there hoping to finally see Brazil show their true colours.

Sweden's Rami Shabaan: the first of many global Pato victims

I was lucky enough to be at Palestra Italia stadium on November 26 2006 when 17-year-old Alexandre Pato scored his first professional goal for Internacional, against Palmeiras. I didn’t know it at the time – the kid was being kept secret by Inter's directors – but I was witnessing history on the making.

Now, the fortune of watching Pato score his maiden goal for Brazil has gone to the English. And let's be clear, this wasn't a goal para inglês ver: Pato is the real deal.

By granting England this privilege, I’m happy to say, we Brazilians are excused our previous deceits. We’re even now.

Big Brother fever melts football’s justice

Celso de Campos Jr — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:30:00 GMT

“Pathetically easy. Next case.”

That’s (US television series star) Dr Gregory House politely declining to look over the maladies of Brazilian football’s authorities. The symptoms and side effects of incompetence, amateurism and provincialism are so obvious that even a lollipop can diagnose them.

But since Big Brother fever afflicted them, well, our crippled genius might get interested.

House (played by Hugh Laurie, centre) wouldn't take the case on

Here’s the medical chart. We have here an entity called Superior Court of Sports Justice (STJD) which has many regional arms, the TJDs – all of them private chambers that rule football’s justice.

They are there, with the blessing of the Brazilian Football Confederation (CBF), to try and punish those who break the laws of the game. On paper, absolutely fine. Who wouldn’t want fair, righteous, legitimate people overseeing the beautiful game?

So the problems begin. Their members are all but unbiased, most having intimate connections with clubs – which wouldn’t be so bad if any of them had a connection with a good old thing called reason.

Then again, they only tend to appear when something really important comes up – a bribery accusation, for instance – and the decision is usually easy. But when the wigs realised the power they held, they decided to mess things up.

First, they started punishing anyone – coach or player – who criticised the referee. And I’m not talking (only) about the mad gaffer who enters the pitch and screams his lungs out at the ref’s nose. The cool coach who says at the press conference, “I think the referee had a bad day”, is also slashed in the TJDs’ witch hunt.

As a result, the most regular comment in post-match interviews with players and coaches alike is something along the lines of: “I can’t discuss the refereeing or I’ll get suspended” or “It’s not up to me to comment on the referee.”

So it’s up to who? The suited guys with dyed hair in the office? Apparently so.

But commentary censorship wasn’t enough for the hungry magistrates, who embraced a new task. They decided to cleanse football from all evil on the pitch where, not long ago, 22 men and a ball reigned alone.

To do so, they now review the tapes of each and every game several times looking for little things the referee didn’t spot – and even overrule the ones the ref did see – and apply due punishment, of course.

Players face sanctions that go from fines to bans of up to 540 days.

And the sharp eyes of the law see things we don’t. It’s not unusual to find players persecuted for aggression (like São Paulo’s Adriano and Palmeiras’ Marcos) whose main defence witness is the player who was supposedly assaulted! They have to go to court to say, “No, I wasn’t assaulted, it was normal play.” And sometimes even then the magistrates don’t believe them. Adriano, for instance, got a two-game suspension.

Adriano: defended in court by his 'victim'

The good thing for the defendant is that, even if he's found guilty, his lawyers will have the decision reviewed by the same court and the judges, presented with the same arguments, regularly change their minds and reduce the punishment.

Uruguayan Botafogo keeper Castillo, who went on trial for criticising the referee after a defeat to Flamengo, will never forget his day in court. “It looked like I was a criminal. If they think it’s better to deal with that in court, that’s fine. But I haven’t killed anyone, I’m not a crook,” he said. “I didn’t know this other side of Brazilian football. But what can I do?”

The wigs think they’re bringing morality to football and I’m sure they enjoy being the stars of the show, but it’s time for them to step down and leave the headlines to the players.

If they don’t want to leave the spotlight, fine – TV mogul Dick Wolf can cast them in his new franchise series Law and Disorder.

Football’s one and only somersault princess

Celso de Campos Jr — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 16:32:00 GMT

What do you get when you cross a Brazilian female football player with an American cheerleader?

Meet São Paulo born, Chicago raised 17-year-old Leah Fortune, who plays left-back for the Brazil’s U20 football team and is one of the stars of the South American Championship, being held in Porto Alegre.

Check out her trademark move to understand why the fuss.

With the acrobatic help of the Somersault Princess, who plays back home – Illinois, it is – for the Wheaton Academy Warriors and Team Chicago, Brazil is pounding the opponents and will be a certain presence at the U20 Women’s World Cup, in Chile. We can’t wait to see more of her.

Go Leah! Go Leah!

The world’s greatest ball boy

Celso de Campos Jr — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:33:00 GMT

Bernardo Gandulla was an Argentinian midfielder who landed in Rio de Janeiro in 1939, to play for Vasco da Gama.

Despite being a much hyped player South of the border, he didn’t live up to his name in Brazil – in fact, his stint here would be short of unremarkable if it wasn’t for his one distinctive characteristic: every time the ball went out of play, Gandulla rushed to get it and deliver it back to the pitch, no matter which team had the possession.

Call it a high standard of sportsmanship or just plain nonsense, the fact is that the Argentinian was immortalised in Brazil by christening the role of the ball boy: the word gandula made the dictionaries and it’s the only term used to refer to the duty in the land of the beautiful game.

A little history just to say that us Brazilians discovered this week that, besides having both Fifa World Best Players, male and female, we also have the world’s greatest gandula. At least it’s the smarty opinion of 28-year-old Leandro Augusto Ribeiro, ball boy for the small squad of Rio Preto, who claims the title to himself.

Despite being at the touchlines of the Anisio Haddad stadium since 1999, Leandro was introduced to the national audience only this week, when the recently promoted Rio Preto faced Corinthians in a São Paulo State Championship match. In full kit, wearing goalkeeper gloves, the ball boy put on indeed a formidable show, running and diving for the lost balls – breaking more sweat than much big name players on the pitch.

When he’s not performing his art, Leandro works as a motorcycle delivery boy. But his days as a blue collar might be near the end, since the media exposition has led him to fancy a millionaire signing. “I don’t know which championship Rio Preto will play in the second semester, so I can hear offers from big clubs”, he says. “I earn around R$ 30 per match [£ 8.50], if someone pays me R$ 40 [£ 10], I’ll accept. But if it’s in São Paulo, they’ll have to pay also the plane ticket.”

Leandro’s dream is to be a ball boy at Real Madrid. But even if it doesn’t happen – the signing-happy fellas at Santiago Bernabeu might well be considering him by now – he feels he’s satisfied for accomplishing the mission of being a good example to the ball boys around the world.

(Which he undisputable is, especially when we remember what some of his fellow Brazilian gandulas have done in the past – the Commercial ball boy swinging an iron bar at Botafogo’s goalkeeper is the nadir of the office.)

“The gandulas have a reputation of troublemakers, who hide balls, who are sent off... Before me, the gandulas only made the headlines for messing things up. I wanted to change that. I hope others adopt my style, since good things should be copied”, says another happy graduated of Muhammad Ali’s School of Modesty. One can’t say he’s not in the right path...

Joy and drama of Brazil’s three tenors

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 06:30:00 GMT

Early this year, Fluminense managed to sign three fantastic strikers for their return to the Copa Libertadores. Two of them, to the fans delight, were snapped up at the peak of their form from under the noses of their cross-town arch-rivals: Leandro Amaral from Vasco da Gama, and Dodô from Botafogo.

Washington, who was starring for Urawa Red Diamonds in Japan, completed the trio – which was soon dubbed 'The three tenors'.

Coach Renato Gaúcho was nervous about playing all three centre-forwards at once, especially after a bumpy start to the season, but Washington, Dodô and Leandro’s performances steadily improved and Fluminense topped their group in the Taça Guanabara.

Renato began hinting that he might use all three but then, in late February, came a blow to the fans’ hopes of seeing their tenors in concert.

Leandro Amaral's contract with Vasco was due to run to December but he had forced his way out via the courts. On appeal, however, the ruling that allowed him to leave was reversed, preventing him from playing for Fluminense (the club’s lawyers are attempting to have the decision reviewed – again – but for now Leandro Amaral remains sidelined).

So three became two. Nevertheless, Dodô and Washington put on a terrific show at the Maracanã stage last Wednesday, thrashing Argentina’s Arsenal 6-0.

Dodô’s second goal was terrific, similar to Zidane’s 2002 gem against Bayer Leverkusen. No wonder the Brazilian’s nickname is “The striker of the beautiful goals” – OK, it's not exactly catchy, but at least it's precise.

(Perhaps Dodô had watched Zidane’s class on how to score a goal like that. Take a look, it’s not that hard – you just have to be lucky, as Zidane tells us. Too bad the commentator wasn’t very excited.)

And then, to paraphrase the Spice Girls, two became one.

Last Saturday, in a game against Friburguense, Dodô suffered an innocuous-looking injury which turned out to be a serious fracture of the frontal bone of his forehead. He underwent surgery yesterday and will stay out of action for at least eight weeks ruling him out of the entire group stage of the Copa Libertadores, the club’s priority this season.

So what now? Despite a supporting cast full of quality – midfielder Thiago Neves and defender Thiago Silva are Europe-bound – Washington will have to go solo in the first part of Fluminense’s South American tour.

Coach Renato Gaúcho hopes he’s up to the challenge – and that the three tenors can be reunited in the competition’s later stages. Bravo!

Leao and the unfit Colombian’s wondershot

Celso de Campos Jr — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 09:59:00 GMT

It’s no secret in Brazil that Santos coach Emerson Leao has a serious beef against foreigners – especially Argentinians. He’s the one who, in 2006, scared away Carlitos Tevez and Javier Mascherano from Corinthians – for which both might be thanking him right now.

Tevez, especially, suffered in Leao’s paws. In his first game in charge the coach took the captain's armband off the Argentinian, who had to cope with his manager joking about the player’s difficulty in speaking and understanding Portuguese (or Spanish, for that matter). “It was my decision. Do you understand a word of what he says?”, he asked a reporter. “Me neither. So that’s it. I even tried to explain my decision to him, but he also didn’t understand,” laughed Leao.

Even off the pitch, the white-maned gaffer never misses an opportunity to nudge Brazilian’s Latin American neighbours. “I have an Argentinian friend who owns a restaurant," he once said. "Every time I go there, I say to him: ‘You’re a fine man, despite... Despite you’re..., I wish you all the best.'"

The grudge might come from Leao being ambushed and assaulted by Rosario Central players in the 1997 Copa Conmebol final, after his Atletico Mineiro side won the championship. The gaffer had his jaw fractured because of the blows and needed plastic surgery. But even that wouldn't justify his xenophobia (if indeed anything could).

So when Santos president Marcelo Teixeira announced the signing of no fewer than four foreigners, Leao roared again. “I didn't ask for any of them. Those signings scare me, because I know nothing about them. But we’ll have to see. I’m not forced to give them playing time”, said the coach, before changing his mind (after a brief word from his bosses) and saying everyone would get a shot.

The new faces at Vila Belmiro include Equadorian midfielder Michael Jackson Quinonez, Chilean forward Sebastian Pinto, Argentinian striker Mariano Tripodi and Colombian midfielder Mauricio Molina. We haven’t seen much from the first three, despite all of them having already had match experience, especially Tripodi. But Santos fans are very excited about 26-year-old maestro Molina, who led Medellin minnows Independiente to the 2003 Copa Libertadores semifinals but hasn’t settled anywhere since. In his few games, “Mao” has already showed amazing skills, and he could be the playmaker Santos have needed since Ze Roberto returned to Germany last year.

Even Leao can’t hide his enthusiasm – well, sort of. “This guy has got game. He needs to be fit though, which he isn’t,” grumbled the gaffer. On Tuesday night, Molina gave Santos the victory against a treacherous Chivas side in a high octane Copa Libertadores match with this absolutely gorgeous left shot.

Can you imagine what he'll be like when he’s fit?

The madness of Emperor Adriano

Celso de Campos Jr — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:56:00 GMT

It’s not only a player’s skills that amaze me. I’m also especially impressed by the enlightenment of some footballers who, when faced with trouble, look to their forefathers for counselling and guidance.

Consider Adriano.

Enduring, yet again, some off-field turbulence, the bumper-sized Emperor tried to find a way to save his skin by calling upon the sagacity of a fellow ruler: Nero.

As our man Suetonius reports straight from the year 64 BC, the nutty emperor, taken by an insane desire to destroy the city, started the Great Fire of Rome – and, as the legend goes, played the lyre while watching it burn.

Of course Nero didn’t feel like taking the rap for it, so he smartly decided to blame the Christians, who were burned or crucified for his deeds.

Adriano, in contrast, was doing fine. Apart from the threat of a 120-day ban for headbutting a player (which turned into a mild two-game suspension), things were going smoothly in his stint with Sao Paulo FC.

He was still far from his former brilliance, but a goal every now and then was proving enough for the fans. Last week, however, the uncontrollable forward had the heat turned on.

First, he was slammed by the club president for arriving at the airport before the Copa Libertadores match against Medellin’s Atlético Nacional wearing a T-shirt instead of Sao Paulo’s team uniform.

“He might be the Emperor in Rome, but here he’s equal to others,” grumbled Juvenal Juvêncio, clearly unaware of Internazionale’s location. Not to mention clueless about the fact that the coaching staff had allowed Adriano to change his clothes on the plane.

His scolding was thus completely out of place – though it did an excellent job of attracting bad publicity for his recovering star player. (That’s what happens when you have amateur directors in charge; unfortunately, they’re everywhere in Brazil.)

Next day, however, Adriano decided to flip out.

He arrived half an hour late for practice, didn’t join his team-mates, went straight to the fitness room, quit the session a few moments later, shooed away a director who tried to get him back and left the club facilities without an explanation.

His only words were directed at a photographer: “If you take one more photo, I’ll break you right here.”

Adriano was fined in 40% of his wages and had to apologise to the entire squad. And that’s when, to avoid another further punishment (either from coach Muricy Ramalho or the club board who had threatened to cancel his contract), he decided to pull a Nero – and blame the press for his mistakes.

“I’ve fought a lot to be here. You [the press] won’t destroy it. I won’t let it,” he announced.

In the same statement, Adriano, who had said more than once that in Brazil he didn’t want to be called Emperor – “Let’s leave this nickname in Italy, I’m a new person now” – changed his mind.

Apparently missing his old self, he commanded the journalists to refer to him as the Emperor again. “If I wasn’t still Emperor, those things in the last days would not have that dimension.”

If that seems like plain madness, there's a simple reason why: it is.

Despite being a terrific athlete, a world-class striker and a jolly nice fella (at least when he’s not threatening people), Adriano is once again starting to act more like a delirious emperor – the kind of behavior that drove him to the rock bottom at Inter.

Some say Sao Paulo is his last shot, and it’s starting to slip away. And the worst of it is that, in Brazil, most fans – and even the club – would tolerate such nonsense if he was performing like a real sovereign on the pitch.

But a month and a half after his debut, not only has he dismally failed to find his A game but he's beginning to cause trouble. And all the while, Borges, his replacement, is coming on strong, doing what people were expecting from the star man.

Red alert.

Sure, the media can obey and keep calling him Emperor – even change his name to Adrianus, in a good old-fashioned Latin way. But it won’t do any good if he doesn’t elevate his game.

It might not have happened back in the Roman Empire, but in the wild world of Brazilian football, Adriano should be well aware, even an Emperor can be thrown to the lions.

No country for old fans?

Celso de Campos Jr — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 10:16:00 GMT

Last week, Atlético Paranaense broke a 59-year-old club record in the Paraná State championship by winning 12 matches in a row. Flamengo seized the Taça Guanabara in an electrifying final against Botafogo with a last minute net, in a sold out Maracanã, while Bahia, for the first time in 14 years, amassed back-to-back victories against their crosstown rivals Vitória, in the Campeonato Baiano. Just when the football season is warming up...

...Violence casts its shadow over it. The torcidas organizadas, gangs of the bloodthirsty ultras which have long been bringing mayhem to the stadiums, are literally stealing the show early this year.

On Sunday alone, three regrettable episodes happened in three different Brazilian States, with three different outcomes – in common, just the infamous organizadas and the fact that the news made the headlines of both the police and sports sections.

Actually, with so many mad incidents happening in the grounds, most national newspapers don’t even bother reporting regular ultras fights – for instance, to learn the full story about the combat involving Goiás and Vila Nova partisans at the stands of Serra Dourada, you’ve got to look for the Goiânia local media. Who cares if just five were arrested, three for drug traffic inside the stadium, and just one unlucky fan taken to the hospital?

Indeed, it’s peanuts next to the two major incidents that occurred in Rio de Janeiro and Santa Catarina. In the first, 24-year-old Diogo Emanuel Gonçalves, who was returning from Maracanã in a bus rented by Botafogo supporters, was murdered after the occupants of a passing car opened fire against the fans’ coach. Three suspects were arrested Tuesday night, one of them carrying a Smith & Wesson .44 – reportedly the murder weapon.

But it was in sunny Florianópolis, Santa Catarina, that the most mediatic event – for its pictorial appeal – took place. 62-year-old Criciúma fan Ivo Costa was watching his team beat Avaí on Heriberto Hulse stadium when a homemade bomb thrown by the rivals’ ultras landed just near him. When he grabbed the explosive to get rid of it, it blew up – and his right hand was severed.

The picture taken by ClicRBS’ photographer Flávio Neves of Ivo being assisted by the medical crew, which opens this post, hurts badly. Man, it was just an old-school fella, proudly donning his team shirt, radio on the left hand, looking for no more than a Sunday afternoon fun with his beloved team. Came Sunday night, his hand was gone – as well as his desire of returning to the ground, obviously. “Don’t plan to go back... I’m afraid”, the retired night watchman says, shirtless in the hospital room.

This time, it didn’t take long for the Avaí ultras fans to finger the responsibles for the tragedy. Perps with a rap sheet longer than a mile, cold blooded matadores like Javier Bardem’s Anton Chigurh, from the Oscar winning flick No Country for Old Men? Nope. A 22-year-old mechanic, who entered the stadium with the two bombs hidden in his underwear, and a 22-year-old Army soldier (an Army soldier, I repeat), who reportedly threw the fatidic device.

Now the Santa Catarina State Federation has banned away fans from the games – in Goiás, the authorities want to ban all the ultras. Will this be enough? Hardly. It’s a subject to endless nights of debates, but the bottom line is that mild laws, poor police control and slow Justice give the ultras an unmatched feeling of impunity in Brazil. Unless extreme measures are taken, they’re free to keep turning the grounds into combat zones – and to rob the regular fan of the undisputed right of watching football.

Champions League, Latin America style

Celso de Campos Jr — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 11:00:00 GMT

While the European powerhouses resume the battle for the Champions League this week, the prize they’re all after is taking a break in Brazil. The big-eared cup was exhibited in São Paulo last weekend, the first stop in its Latin America tour. Next Saturday and Sunday it will melt (well, not literally - it’s always good to make things clear after what we did with the Jules Rimet) in Rio de Janeiro’s 40º C heat. Then it will dash to Argentina, Chile and Mexico.

Watching the wealthy circus created around the symbol of Europe’s world football dominance (at least economic), I couldn’t help comparing it to our own version of the Champions League, the Copa Libertadores da America - which just kicked off its 49th edition with the presence of 36 squads from 11 countries.

If the Champions League is all about elegance, glamour, professionalism and sophistication, South American’s top club continental tournament is exactly the other way around. Brutality, roughness, crudeness and intimidation are words that can describe the core of the Copa Libertadores - which is fitting considering the trophy pays tribute to America’s freedom fighters, those who gave blood to the independence of the continent’s nations.

Instead of maestros with stylish hairdos, backs that seem not having been introduced to razors. Instead of glimmering kits, shirts that makes the fake replicas from the Far East a masterpiece of the haute couture. Instead of newly built, hi-tech stadiums, holes whose pitch should be better used to cattle raising. Instead of charming and centenary sidekicks, never-heard-of squads like Boyacá Chicó, Mineros de Guayana or Sportivo Luqueño.

(And the worst thing is that they even might hurt you - just ask Santos and Boca Juniors, run over by exotic Once Caldas, from Manizales, Colombia, in the road to their extraordinary 2004 Libertadores win.)

The picture that opens this post illustrate how far one must go to conquer America. It was taken by the Globoesporte.com crew when they travelled to Tacna, Peru, to the first game of Flamengo in this year’s tournament, against newcomer Coronel Bolognesi, proud champion of the 2007 Peruvian Clausura. The sight of a XIX century’s no-man’s land is perfectly finished with the hand-painted sign. It warns: "Captured thieves will be burnt alive."

Yes, it’s a jungle out there. And that’s the beauty of the Libertadores.

The end of Ronaldo? Don't bet on it

Celso de Campos Jr — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:56:00 GMT

In the aftermath of Ronaldo’s (latest) heart-breaking injury, newspapers in Brazil and around the world fill their pages with images of our buck-toothed ace lying on the San Siro ground, right hand on his left knee, screaming his lungs out in pain. It feels like déjà vu.

They ask if it’s the end of the line for the Milan star – and their eulogies, praising the great champion Ronnie was, seem to answer the question.

The general feeling is that, this time, he’s done – because it’s his third serious injury to the knee, because he isn’t a kid anymore, because he will lack the motivation for another comeback.

In fact, many were already predicting the end for Ronaldo even before his knee snapped against Livorno. On his latest return to Carlo Ancellotti's squad, after weeks out of action, the below-average performances of this former Phenomenon prompted phrases like “pale shadow of his former self”, “has-been” and “bound for the retirement home”.

Yet every time I read something like that, I can't help thinking of Muhammed Ali’s answer to legendary reporter Howard Cosell, who had said, just before that famous victory against George Foreman in 1974, that Ali wasn’t the same fighter that he was 10 years ago.

“Well, Howard,” responded the Greatest, “I talked to your wife and she said you’re not the man you used to be two years ago”.

The truth is, Ronaldo deserves more respect. Enough of the discourteous remarks 'Fatso' has been getting from the press – and please note that my Fatso is the friendliest of nicknames, since I’d take a chubby Ronaldo over any fit, muscle-toned world-class striker of his generation.

This guy is the World Cup's all-time leading scorer, an accomplishment that, taken on its own, should make people pay him the same respect they pay to the other legends of the game, whether he's playing well, badly or even worse.

But there’s way more to Ronnie's story than that. Twice he's been overcome potentially career-ending injuries, coping with excruciating pain in his daily life and the isolation of getting back to fitness – the kind of hell that would have driven most of us nuts.

And not only did he overcome, he went on to lead an unfancied Brazil to their fifth World Cup.

Ronaldo's a winner, on and off the pitch. Even if he turns up for a game with one leg, a plastic knee and a ridiculous hairdo (which we all know he does), we should bow and say, “Yes, sir.”

Is this the end for the Phenomenon? Another operation, another year of recovery, another delicate return to the pitch, at 32 or 33, with the sceptics saying “No, no, no.”

The odds are against him – more than ever before. But I have learned never to bet against Ronaldo. Never. After all, this is a man whose favourite pastime, alongside pulling ladies and scoring goals, has been proving people wrong.

Top dogs rock in Rio

Celso de Campos Jr — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:53:00 GMT

Over the past decade, the consistent inconstancy of Rio de Janeiro’s big four – Flamengo, Vasco, Fluminense and Botafogo – has allowed some of the minnows to enter the spotlight in the race for the charming Taça Guanabara, the first phase of the Rio de Janeiro state championship. (The second is the Copa Rio, to be held in March; winners then play for the big trophy.)

Cabofriense, Madureira and Friburguense, plus a handful of other teams you probably have never heard of, have been shoving at least one of the giants out of the dispute since 1996.

The ultimate underdog accomplishment happened in 2005, when a showdown between mighties Volta Redonda and Americano at Maracana decided the tournament.

But this year the real powerhouses were awake to prevent embarrassments. Smooth campaigns, with several goleadas – Portuguese for scores higher than 3-0, were recorded by all the top dogs. Now, Botafogo and Fluminense, on Saturday, and Flamengo and Vasco, on Sunday, will clash for a ticket to the final of the Taça Guanabara, to be played on February 24 at Maracana.

In the first match, our money (if we had some) would go for Fluminense. This year, the team from Laranjeiras stole the top forwards from their rivals – Leandro Amaral from Vasco and Dodo from Botafogo – and signed striker Washington (who was starring at Japan’s Red Diamonds).

The trio has already been called “The Three Tenors” – in a fitter version, of course. In addition, Botafogo, who always starts well, tends to chicken out at the last minute.

The second clash is more balanced. Romario’s departure has brought turmoil at Vasco – the last team to clinch their berth at the semis, but in Morais they have a dangerous playmaker.

Plus, there’s a good chance that Edmundo will make his debut with the Vasco shirt if it’s good or bad, we’ll only know on Sunday. Flamengo comes from a fantastic 2007, and is stronger as a team, which makes the squad from miracle worker Joel Santana the safer bet.

One thing is sure, though: Maracana will be jam-packed for both games. As in the good old days, when the likes of Volta Redonda and Cabofriense were just feeble punchbags...

The end of Romario’s Carnival

Celso de Campos Jr — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 12:22:00 GMT

The ace resigns from his job at Vasco. Things won’t be the same without the mighty Shorty around...

Romario’s career has been a feast of talent, wit, excitement and goals – so it’s a fitting coincidence that its closure comes on the day that marks the very end of the Carnival.

On the evening of this year’s Ash Wednesday, February 6, while all over Brazil revellers were just putting down their shiny costumes, the mighty Shorty, hero of the 1994 World Cup and one of the game’s living legends, announced the resignation from his player-slash-coach position at Vasco da Gama – and thus, perhaps, from football.

The 42-year-old decided to walk away from the job after the club’s board tried to force him to field a forward he wanted to bench in a Rio State Championship game, against Friburguense.

“I was going to play Abuda, but they told me to choose Alan Kardec because he needed to play in order to be sold to Europe. Then I thanked them, took my hat and left. I can’t accept that kind of intervention. My story at Vasco is over.”

So what now? Despite saying he’s still uncertain about what to do next – “I don’t rule out anything” – Romario had already voiced his desire to retire on March 30, when his contract with Vasco was due to expire.

In fact, just one day earlier, during Tuesday’s Carnival parade at the Rio de Janeiro’s Sambodromo, Shorty was adamant. “After March 30, I’ll quit. I can’t go on, not even as a coach. I’ll help promoting the 2014 World Cup, I’ll work on that.”

After his sudden departure from Vasco, Flamengo have already opened their doors, but it’s unlikely – even when we’re talking about the indomitable and unpredictable Romario – that the veteran will decide to resume his career anywhere else.

It’s also worth remembering that Romario, the player, is on a doping ban for testing positive for finasteride – a medicine for hair loss. He’s only allowed to play again on April 5, though a second appeal by the court is scheduled for the next days – the first was denied.

But whether it's the end of a brilliant career, as it seems (and Vasco should at least organise a farewell match to make up for it), or the opportunity for a surprising finale, Romario’s departure from his alma mater is one for the history books – especially when you note that the unexpected news broke precisely 23 years after Shorty first played a professional match, donning the Vasco shirt against Coritiba on February 6, 1985.

Too bad that this time we haven’t had the privilege of seeing Romario on pitch. Minutes before the game against Friburguense, he was already in his house, ready to watch on TV as his former team-mates/players won 2-0. From his couch, he explained the decision to Extra newspaper.

“When Eurico Miranda (Vasco’s bigwig) invited me to be the coach, I asked if I’d be the coach for real or just a bogus one. He told me it was for real.

"I said that, being the coach, I wouldn’t accept intrusions because I’d already seen things at the club that I didn't agree with. He told me all the decisions would be mine. And today he came with this story, these orders. Then I did what I had said I’d do if there was interference in my work. Period.”

Even far, far away from the box, he keeps shooting it straight. Add it to the 1000th, Shorty. And thanks for everything – for now...

Cute, armed and still dangerous

Celso de Campos Jr — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 10:01:00 GMT

The Brazilian football season is just underway with the State Tournaments – the main attraction, the Brazilian Championship, starts only on May 10. And since the top teams are more concerned with the big thing, the minnows see this as a golden opportunity to take centre stage.

That’s what Duque de Caxias, debuting in the Rio de Janeiro State Championship first division, achieved early this year. The club drew all the headlines by signing one of Brazil’s most entertaining – and senior – strikers, 39-year-old Paulo Sergio Rosa, or simply Viola.

For those too young to remember – and Alexandre Pato wasn’t even born when our old hero scored the goal that gave Corinthians the Sao Paulo State crown in 1988 – Viola was one of the men who brought the 1994 World Cup to Brazil, after a 24-year draught. (In fact, from that squad, only Viola, Romario and Cafu are still playing professional football – Ronaldo was on the roster, but never made it onto the pitch.)

In his two-decade career, Viola played for Corinthians, Palmeiras, Santos, Valencia, Flamengo, Vasco and seven more teams. In addition to the 1994 crown, he won a Brazilian Championship, two Sao Paulo State titles and a bunch of minor trophies.

But his legacy, more than the goals, will be his broad smile, his irreverence and his irresponsibility. Another happy graduate of the Muhammad Ali School of Modesty, Viola – who always refers to himself in the third person – knew the way to self-promotion and the right way to bug the coaches.

While in Palmeiras, in 1997, coach Luiz Felipe Scolari complained that Viola was always late for practice. The striker tried to argue, saying he lived too far from the facilities and blaming Sao Paulo’s chaotic traffic. “I don’t care how you get here, as long as you’re on time,” raged Big Phil.

Soon after, just before morning practice, a chopper landed on Palmeiras’ training pitch and out stepped Viola, in cammo outfit, to cheerfully high-five the gaffer. Big Phil couldn’t believe it.

And there’s much more. Two years ago, Viola, already far from his heyday, was arrested on his birthday after an altercation with his ex-wife. He arrived at her place around midnight saying he wanted to take their son for a walk – which the lady didn’t allow, since he was completely drunk.

Scared, she locked herself – and the kid – in the attic. Viola then decided to walk alone around the neighborhood, carrying a loaded shotgun. The police wre called, but by then Viola had already found his way to her house. He was calmly watching TV on the couch when the cops arrived and took him to the station.

In his official presentation at Duque de Caxias, Viola showed he was still sharp-tongued. “I'm slim, cute and horny to play ball. It’s gonna be easy for me to stand out. I’m watching my new team-mates and all I can see is ugly faces. Look at that little monster there... I’m the prettiest.”

It was all banter, of course, and before long Professor Viola, with his dark shades, was lecturing the youngsters on the importance of professionalism!

Obviously, they have a long way to go. An exciting start – a 5-2 win against América – was followed by painful defeats to giants Fluminense (3-2) and Flamengo (5-1) at the Maracana.

And Viola? Check out this clip of him in action against Fluminense. How many 39-years-old do you know who could perform a move like that? As for his celebration, anyone with even elementary Portuguese would easily lip-read Viola screaming: “I’m crazy! I’m crazy!”

We all are...

Welcome to Brazil!

Celso de Campos Jr — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 09:33:00 GMT

Olá amigos,

Just a quick but warm hello to welcome you to the all new FourFourTwo blog about Brazilian football. Straight from our headquarters in Sao Paulo, The Noise from Brazil plans to trumpet the good, the bad and the ugly from the land of the Beautiful Game. And there’s plenty of it all, believe me.

Brilliant unknown 17-year-olds bound for your team in Europe? Check. Fading veterans arrested for taking a walk around the ex-wife’s neighbourhood with a shotgun? Check. Players passionately kissing each other after a score? Hmmm... Nope. This is Brazil not Argentina, remember!

So keep checking back for the latest on the noisy, cocky, showy, sassy and crazy world of the futebol brasileiro. News, profiles, nicknames, interviews, photos, videos, kits, jokes, links – we’ll try to cover the whole pitch, like Roberto Carlos back (way back) in the old days.

Oh, and this is important: please shout as loud as you want in the comments section. Shoot us your thoughts, questions, fears, even Portuguese language doubts – after all, 2014 is on the horizon and you wanna be prepared to approach that brunette bombshell in Rio de Janeiro...

Let’s bring the noise!

Um abraço,
Celso