What's up doc?
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Having a pop at opposition fans is commonplace, but Atletico Mineiro midfielder Edmilson Ferreira took it to a whole new level when he began munching away on a carrot plucked from his shorts after finding the net against adversaries America Mineiro in 1998.
America - nicknamed the Rabbits - didn't take too kindly to the gesture, with one player spitting on Edmilson and another attempting to hack him down later. Still, at least the Brazilian journeyman got a healthy dose of vitamin A for his troubles.
Gjurovski's strip tease
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Mario Gjurovski isn't exactly a household name, but the Macedonian midfielder was briefly in the limelight after his bizarre reaction to scoring for Muanthong United in the Thai Super League.
Having notched what turned out to be the winner against TOT Sport, Gjurovski removed his shorts, placed them on his head and began to milk the adulation from bemused visiting fans. The referee took an altogether dimmer view and showed Gjurovski his second yellow card of the game moments later. Pull your pants up, pal.
Twerk it, baby
Kamara didn't really have the impact he would have hoped for during his time in English football with Middlesbrough and Norwich, but he's made much more of an impression in MLS since returning to America in 2015.
Sometimes, too much. In an October 2016 game for the New England Revolution, Kamara's smooth rump-thrusting also got him booked by an unimpressed referee who presumably didn't have Miley Cyrus on his mind.
Put your head where it hurts
Scoring a goal is an opportunity for a player to send a message to his manager, typically about a lack of playing time or perceived mistreatment. One Italian amateur took this to extreme lengths during a clash between Potincelli and Riolo Terme, sprinting towards the touchline after converting from close range and smashing his head through the plastic of the dugout.
That'll teach him.
Did someone say nuts?
Having progressed through the academy ranks at Sevilla and been instrumental in his club's return to La Liga at the start at the millennium, Francisco Gallardo was rightly considered an important figure at the Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan.
Even so, Jose Antonio Reyes got more than he bargained for when Sevilla celebrated a goal in 2001. As players piled onto one another in a collective outpouring of joy, Gallardo bent down and nibbled on his team-mates's genitals, which led to a fine and suspension from the Royal Spanish Football Federation for violating standings of sporting dignity and decorum.
Grow up, Gordon
Gordon Strachan didn't let anything stand in his way during an excellent playing career with the likes of Aberdeen, Manchester United and Leeds, but the Scot did occasionally encounter an insurmountable obstacle.
After scoring in Scotland's 2-1 defeat by West Germany at World Cup '86, the pint-sized midfielder ran towards his nation's jubilant supporters in celebration. His progress was soon checked, though: Strachan attempted to hurdle an advertising hoarding but found he was too small, so simply cocked a leg in half-arsed amusement.
Bolo's dad dance
Asamoah Gyan's fancy footwork on the pitch was matched with equivalent poise off it – but sadly for his Sunderland team-mates, his jaunty jigs weren't always able to be replicated.
On one occasion, a surprise Black Cats victory at Chelsea prompted the altogether-stiffer Bolo Zenden to join in with the Ghana international. Where are those cream slip-ons?
Good boy
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The 1994 World Cup wasn't short of memorable moments, featuring Diana Ross and Roberto Baggio's joint spot-kick shame and Diego Maradona's eye-popping antics.
Nigeria forward George contributed his own episode when he chose to impersonate a dog after netting in the Super Eagles' 2-0 victory over Greece. Not only did the Ajax and future Ipswich forward get down on all fours, he also pretended to urinate by lifting up his right leg, demonstrating an admirable attention to detail that's often lacking in similar celebrations.
Ketsbaia's raging bull
Coming off the bench to grab a last-minute winner for your team is the stuff of dreams, and therefore tends to be followed with an ecstatic celebration. Newcastle midfielder Temuri Ketsbaia did that and more after grabbing the Magpies' decisive goal against Bolton in 1998, tearing off his shift and repeatedly booting an advertising board in het-up fury.
"I've never watched it back and never will do," the Georgian later admitted. "I'm not proud."
That's a wrap
Props are always a welcome addition to any post-goal moment of glory. So props indeed to Jaguares' Kevin Londono, who marked his big moment by rolling himself up in a sponsors' mat looking like the happiest man on earth.
The referee wiped his smile away with a booking. Spoilsport.
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