Premier League football is back, and in preparation for Norwich 2-0 Liverpool and West Ham 3-1 Manchester City, we look back at the most shocking opening-weekend results of the past 27 years.
Strap yourselves in for a rollercoaster ride starring Dion Dublin, cardboard fans and, since nobody’s reading this bit because it’s the introduction to a list feature, Robert Mugabe. We’ll get him in there somewhere.
Still here? OK, let’s go!
1. Arsenal 2-4 Norwich (1992/93)
In front of cardboard supporters, created to hide Highbury’s building works and allow future hacks to favourably compare the atmosphere to matchday at the Emirates, Arsenal and Norwich kicked off Modern Football with a cracker. All six goals were scored at the fake fans’ end, not that they showed much enthusiasm.
Arsenal had finished fourth the previous season, back when that meant precisely nothing, and Norwich 14 places below them. Unsurprisingly, the hosts led 2-0 at half-time. But the Canaries scored four goals in 15 minutes to win the game and start an inexplicable title challenge – indeed, they were one point off the top as late as the start of April.
Ultimately Norwich finished third with a goal difference of -4, which takes some doing, while Arsenal won both cups but wound up 10th, sandwiched between mid-table makeweights Manchester City and Chelsea. Of course, back then it was all fields.
2. Aston Villa 3-1 Manchester United (1995/96)
Hindsight suggests this wasn’t a huge shock, even if it was 3-0 at half-time. Villa had an attack led by Dwight Yorke and a defence boasting new boy Gareth Southgate and old man Paul McGrath, and they’d eventually finish fourth. However, Manchester United would eventually finish first, and they’d ended the previous campaign some 16 places and 40 points ahead of Brian Little’s Villans.
On this sunny August day, though, Alex Ferguson was without Eric Cantona, Andy Cole, Steve Bruce and Ryan Giggs, and compensated with an uncomfortable 5-3-2 formation featuring four full-backs. He’d sold Paul Ince, Mark Hughes and Andrei Kanchelskis, and bought nobody. Hence Alan Hansen’s immortal words after this defeat: “You can’t win anything with kids.”
In his defence, Hansen’s point was that United’s performance without four key players (and David May) showed they lacked depth – but he was still wrong.
3. Coventry 2-1 Chelsea (1998/99)
On the opening day of the 1997/98 season, Coventry beat Chelsea 3-2 with a Dion Dublin hat-trick. But things would be different on the opening day of the 1998/99 season, right? Of course not. Why would we bring it up otherwise?
A necessary caveat is that 1990s Chelsea were not today’s Chelsea; at this point, they’d been champions only once in their history. Even so, they’d just finished fourth (despite losing 15 matches, one fewer than relegated Bolton) and were sent to Coventry with two of that year’s World Cup winners, Marcel Desailly and Frank Leboeuf, not to mention Gus Poyet, Roberto Di Matteo and player-manager Gianluca Vialli.
By the time Gianfranco Zola came off the bench, however, Dublin had scored again, so had Darren Huckerby, and Chelsea were 2-1 down. The game’s three goals all came in the first half, while elsewhere in that weekend’s Premier League ‘action’, seven matches were goalless at half-time, with four of them finishing 0-0. Thrilling!
Coventry eventually finished 15th, while Chelsea ended up four points shy of the title. Write off early-season games at your peril.
4. Middlesbrough 0-1 Bradford (1999/2000)
Bradford’s first top-flight campaign since 1922 began with Dean Saunders’ last-gasp strike giving them three points that would ultimately help secure safety. The hosts, meanwhile, had flirted with European qualification the previous season, and boasted such greats as Mark Schwarzer, Paul Gascoigne and, uh, Phil Stamp.
All right, so the result wasn’t as seismic a shock as others in this list. We just want to mention that, in the same vein as the previous year, six of the afternoon’s nine fixtures were 0-0 at half-time. Blimey, August used to be dull.
5. Wigan 0-1 Chelsea (2005/06)
Think not of what it was, but what it could have been.
At 4pm on Super Sunday, debutants Wigan faced Chelsea, managed by Jose Mourinho, bankrolled by Roman Abramovich, and runaway champions after racking up a barely credible 95 points in 2004/05. Chelsea’s starting XI had a spine of Petr Cech, John Terry, Claude Makelele, Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba. Wigan’s starting XI had a spine of Mike Pollitt, Arjan de Zeeuw, Damien Francis, Alan Mahon and Jason Roberts.
Yet the Premier League new boys matched Chelsea blow for blow, and could easily have snatched the unlikeliest of victories. Instead, substitute Hernan Crespo – a symbol of the holders’ strength in depth – struck home a belter in the 93rd minute. “Oh no!” cried Martin Tyler, before adding, “...for Wigan!” juuuust soon enough to get away with it.
Without Martin's heartbroken wail, which you will have to supply yourself. But Jonathan Pearce's is pretty good too
6. Sheffield United 1-1 Liverpool (2006/07)
In 2006/07’s lunchtime curtain-raiser, the promoted Blades were denied victory by a somewhat questionable penalty, won by Steven Gerrard, converted by Robbie Fowler.
Now steady yourself, because you’ll be shocked to hear that Neil Warnock didn’t let the referee’s decision go unmentioned. The Sheffield United manager yelped, “I intend to ask him about that. He’s bound to have an answer – referees always do – but he might not have thought it up yet.”
Meanwhile, Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez claimed, “It was a clear penalty and red card. But I’m not annoyed he [Chris Morgan] wasn’t sent off. Instead we should analyse every other free-kick and throw-in.”
Great idea – you can share a room with Neil.
7. Bolton 2-0 Tottenham (2006/07)
The Trotters had lost all but one of their pre-season games, with Sam Allardyce – who would resign before the end of the season – bemoaning a lack of signings. Nicolas Anelka was yet to join, Andy Johnson had unexpectedly chosen Everton instead, and Didi Hamann had arrived and then left again a day later, which doesn’t say a lot for Bolton’s hotels.
Consequently, Allardyce claimed he had “13 fit professionals” for this opening game, while Martin Jol’s Tottenham had spent just shy of £20m on Dimitar Berbatov and Didier Zokora. Cue early goals from a contrasting pair of Allardyce favourites, Kevin Davies and Ivan Campo (from 43 yards!), and a chastening defeat for Spurs.
At least Tottenham would learn their lesson next year.
8. Sunderland 1-0 Tottenham (2007/08)
Wait – we meant the exact opposite of that.
Another summer of spending saw Spurs splash £35m on four players, including a club record fee for Darren Bent (though it was a pair of 17-year-olds, £5m Gareth Bale and freebie Danny Rose, who’d provide long-term value). Spurs started slowly again, though, and with the last kick of the season’s first fixture, Roy Keane’s team snatched the win as Michael Chopra converted Ross Wallace’s cross. That sentence has not aged well.
At least Tottenham would learn their lesson next ye – ah no, they spent £67m and then lost 2-1 to Middlesbrough.
9. Wigan 0-4 Blackpool (2010/11)
Sure, Wigan had lost their last league game 8-0. Nonetheless, Blackpool’s Premier League bow surprised everyone, because the pre-season debate was whether they’d reach a double-figure points tally.
No team in the three-points-for-a-win era had been promoted from the second tier with fewer points than the 70 picked up by Ian Holloway’s motley crew. The club had to build a new stand over the summer, and prior to five players signing in one afternoon, they had a 15-man squad three days before their first Premier League match. The Telegraph’s Jim White wrote, “Blackpool FC seem to be taking to the top flight with all the grace of a sea lion having tap-dancing lessons.” It wasn’t looking good, is the point.
Fortunately, Roberto Martinez’s Wigan were very obliging. That Blackpool team raises images of Charlie Adam, Matty Phillips, Robert Mugabe (see) and DJ Campbell, but it was Marlon Harewood – Marlon Harewood! – who scored two and assisted another at the DW Stadium, before Holloway took him off to give Chris Basham a bash. Blackpool were top of the Premier League… until Chelsea beat West Bromwich Albion 6-0 a few hours later. And Blackpool did eventually go down. What a few hours, though, eh?
10. West Brom 3-0 Liverpool (2012/13)
August 18, 2012 saw a whole flock of chickens coming home to roost. Steve Clarke, sacked as Liverpool’s No.2 after Brendan Rodgers’ arrival, beat Rodgers’ Reds in his first match as a ‘proper’ manager with West Brom, while Swansea reacted to their boss departing for Anfield by winning 5-0 at QPR.
Still, Rodgers took it well. Clarke’s men won 3-0 and missed a penalty, as Liverpool’s defence fell apart and Luis Suarez spurned chances at the other end. Yet the then-39-year-old manager, whom we now realise is surprisingly young, put the defeat down to two “very, very harsh” penalties (although he’s “not one to go on about referees”).
On the plus side, Brendan, Liverpool completed 89% of their passes. Nailed it.
11. Arsenal 1-3 Aston Villa (2013/14)
Not so long ago, people were surprised when Arsenal fell apart on opening day. This collapse to Paul Lambert’s Aston Villa was the template for subsequent first-weekend defeats to West Ham (0-2 in 2015/16) and Liverpool (3-4 in 2016/17), all at a frosty Emirates Stadium.
Indeed, Arsene Wenger’s charges have kicked off their league campaign at home for six years running now, yet have won only once in that time, thanks to Aaron Ramsey’s stoppage-time strike against Crystal Palace.
Losing to a dire Villa outfit was the start and the nadir. Two goals for Christian Benteke and one for forgotten man Antonio Luna, AKA Tony Moon, prompted a rush for the exits and a cacophony of boos from the Arsenal fans who remained. Anger at Wenger’s perceived parsimony, his only summer signing having been 20-year-old Yaya Sanogo for no fee, spilled over at full-time. Wenger responded by bringing back Mathieu Flamini on a free transfer. Touché.
The supporters did eventually get their way, mind. A fortnight later, some guy named Mesut arrived on deadline day for a record sum.
12. Manchester United 1-2 Swansea (2014/15)
With the David Moyes Experiment failing just as badly as the ’80s synthpop group of the same name, Manchester United turned to football’s Lyle Lanley for a quick fix.
Aloysius Paulus Maria van Gaal would save them – he’d have to, with that name – and everything would be all right again. He’d play a back three! Problem solved.
Not quite. Van Gaal did return Champions League football to Old Trafford, but things started inauspiciously when United lost a curtain-raiser at home for the first time since 1972. Swansea mislaid five first-team players over the summer, yet it was the visitors who handed debuts to two youngsters, Tyler Blackett and supposed wing-back Jesse Lingard, and there was even a start for Javier Hernandez, replaced by Nani at half-time. Yes, this really was only three years ago.
As United toiled and Van Gaal tinkered, changing formation to move Phil Jones and Ashley Young to full-back, Swansea took the lead twice and held on when it mattered.
13. Arsenal 0-2 West Ham (2015/16)
When the unpopular Sam Allardyce was sacked to make way for Slaven Bilic, West Ham received the message loud and clear: Know Your Place. Among others, pundits Alan Shearer, Graeme Souness, Stan Collymore and Richard Keys all used the phrase ‘be careful what you wish for’ as the Hammers’ hierarchy substituted strong and stable Brexit football for something more continental.
The result? Bilic took his players to Arsenal full of confidence, picked West Ham’s youngest ever player by starting 16-year-old Reece Oxford – who made a fearless, peerless debut – and won his first match 2-0 (helped by Petr Cech having a shocker in his first league match for Arsenal). The Hammers qualified for Europe in the same season that Leicester won the league. ‘Be careful what you wish for’? Er, about that.
14. Hull 2-1 Leicester (2016/17)
In a way, this was inevitable – so much so, FFT won a week’s worth of boozing money, not that we condone either gambling or excessive drinking. Obviously.
Even so, this was the Premier League champions losing the season’s first fixture to a managerless, rudderless club with 13 senior professionals. Hull would sign six players in the final two days of the transfer window, but when they hosted Leicester, Jake Livermore was in defence and caretaker Mike Phelan didn’t make a single substitution, well aware that the only outfield replacements available were Shaun Maloney and five academy kids too young to know who that is.
It was a day to forget for Claudio Ranieri. Apparently drunk with success, the Leicester manager asked Andy King to take on the role of Chelsea-bound N’Golo Kante, which is not unlike remaking Taxi Driver with Robert De Niro replaced by a fish.
Leicester were abysmal, Hull were stoic, and for the first time in the Premier League era, the reigning champions began their title defence with a defeat.
Your move, Antonio.
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