1. You think the Premier League is full of glory hunters and that you’re the real football fan.
2. You pretend to dislike the Premier League but you’d sell your club to Vincent Tan if it meant getting promoted.
3. You’d never want to be a top-six Premier League supporter, though, because they’ll never appreciate the feeling of victory like you do.
4. And you sort of like the Championship/League One/League Two anyway. Besides, everyone knows the former is The Most Exciting League In The World.
5. You watch Channel 5 for 90 minutes a week, which is 90 minutes more than everyone else. (But only if you win.)
6. You know who Adam Virgo is.
7. You’ve watched a different League Two right-back smash in his first goal for eight years from 30 yards every week since highlights began.
8. You complain because your team is never on the telly, and that Sky only ever show games involving Leeds United.
9. You complain when your game against Leeds United is moved to a 12:30 kick-off for Sky coverage.
10. You can always get a ticket.
11. But trying to shift spares can prove a fruitless task... “No thanks mate, I’ve got a, er... thing.”
12. You’ve been to places you wouldn’t dream of visiting under normal circumstances. (“Port Vale? Lovely in October. Count me in.”)
13. Nobody you ever talk to knows any of your team’s players.
14. Or how you got on at the weekend. “Lost 4-0 pal, cheers for asking.”
15. You think £11 million (ELEVEN MILLION) for Ross McCormack ruined everything.
16. At some point in recent history, you’ve thought Danny Graham might be a good signing.
17. You get excited by even the faintest whiff of a foreign addition, no matter where they are from. “He’s a Curacao international? Well, what are we waiting for?!”
18. But when other clubs shop overseas you’re quick to question their team's sudden Football League experience deficiency.
19. You knew Riyad Mahrez before he was cool.
20. Garry Monk too.
21. You consider anyone under 6ft to be ‘a bit lightweight’.
22. You question how it's possible for your referees to be even worse than Premier League ones.
23. The fourth Thursdays in November and March are just as exciting as actual deadline day (until you sign Mamady Sidibe on loan).
24. The FA Cup third round draw > any Champions League equivalent.
25. You pray for an away trip to Old Trafford, Anfield, Stamford Bridge, the Emirates or the Etihad, even if it means losing by four, five, six or seven goals.
26. You almost always end up with Stoke at home.
27. You take the mickey out of your own team to avoid the heart dagger that is other people doing likewise.
28. But yours is (somehow) By Far The Greatest Team The World Has Ever Seen.
29. Peter Beagrie. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Have we missed any? Get in touch with us on Twitter with your suggestions at #FootballLeagueRules
