“Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one,” author Terry Pratchet once penned, “But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.”
It makes sense. The Premier League is the one competition in which the most blatantly bonkers things seem to happen on the regular - and we're not just talking about the officiating. We've come to expect the unexpected.
ELIJAH SOFOLUKE Viewing stats in the wrong light: Why context matters so much in football
Every year, new records are broken. This season seems like quite the campaign to throw up some new curveballs though: with football in such flux, could we see some extraordinary new stats by the end of play, come May?
1. Six English clubs in the Champions League next season
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For the Premier League to have six clubs in the Champions League next year, three things need to happen. Firstly, an English club needs to win the Europa League; then, another English side needs to win the Champions League. This is dependent on the third variable, that neither side has finished in the top four.
The biggest number of clubs that the Premier League has ever supplied to Europe's premier competition is five; first in 2005/06, when Liverpool won the Champions League in 2005 but hadn't finished in the top four, and once again in 2017/18, when Manchester United won the Europa League in 2017 but finished sixth in the league. With the Premier League title race so up-in-the-air this time around, this could be our best chance to see six sides in the Champions League next year.
Arsenal or Tottenham Hotspur are probably the two best bets to win the Europa but not finish in the top four, while Chelsea or Liverpool are the likeliest to do the same in the Champions League. Bet365 has Tottenham as 5/1 favourites for the Europa League title, while Liverpool are 6/1 for the Champions League.
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2. No London club in the top four since 1996
In the 1995/96 season, Manchester United won the league, with Newcastle United, Liverpool and Aston Villa completing the top four. Arsenal finished fifth; it was to become the last time that they'd finish outside the top four until 2016.
Arsenal haven't finished in the top quartet of clubs in the country since then but Tottenham and Chelsea have reliably kept London's presence in the top four - until now. With Chelsea, Spurs and Arsenal fifth, eighth and tenth respectively, could no London club finish in the Champions League spots? West Ham United are in sixth right now though, so they're in the race.
With Leicester City now evens to finish in the top four according to Bet365, this might be the end of a 24-year streak. United and City look good for the top four and Liverpool are still strong. It's going to be difficult for clubs from the capital.
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3. Harry Kane breaking Thierry Henry's astonishing assist record
In 2002/03, Thierry Henry assisted 20 times, as Arsenal finished bridesmaids to Sir Alex Ferguson's Manchester United. The record still stands, with Kevin De Bruyne equalling but not managing to surpass it last term.
Kane has 11 assists already this season. The England captain needs 10 more from Tottenham's last 16 games to break the Arsenal legend's record. He's just got to hope the ankles hold up.
4. Biggest-ever aggregate Premier League win
One of the more recent Premier League records of late, Manchester City's 8-0 and 4-0 wins over Watford last season became the biggest aggregate score ever (12-0) in the Premier League.
Given how high-scoring much of the league has been this season, what's not to say that'll be broken again? Man United perhaps would have had the best shot had they not have beaten Southampton 3-2 at St. Mary's already this season.
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Liverpool could do it with a 6-0 win when they host Crystal Palace, having beaten the Eagles 7-0 at Selhurst Park, while West Bromwich Albion could be on the receiving end of the record, should they lose 8-0 to either Leeds United or City.
Equally, an 8-0 Aston Villa victory at Anfield would snatch the record for them, following their 7-2 mauling of the champions at Villa Park. Difficult but not impossible, given the Reds' recent wobbles.
5. Chelsea overtaking Arsenal in the all-time Premier League table
When we traditionally think of Premier League history, we think of Arsene and Sir Alex, battling for the Premier League title. Well, Chelsea are about to leapfrog Arsenal in the record books.
Chelsea have already won two more titles since 1992 than their London rivals but they're currently on 1,997 points overall. Arsenal sit on 2,011. Yep, only 14 points between them - in the last week alone, the Blues have closed the gap by six points.
Mikel Arteta would have hoped to stave off his side's London rivals for another season at least, but given how unpredictable Arsenal are, it looks like it could happen in the next couple of months. Just this season, the Gunners are eight points behind the Blues with 15 games left to play and a trip to Stamford Bridge still to come.
6. Bolton Wanderers becoming the first ex-Prem club to play non-league football
Seven Premier League sides have sunk to the fourth tier since 1992. Wimbledon no longer exist, while Bradford City and Oldham Athletic are still in that league - they only had two terms a-piece in the big time. Swindon Town, Blackpool, Coventry City and Portsmouth make up the numbers.
Bolton Wanderers had 13 seasons at the top, competed in Europe and are still 18th in the all-time Premier League table - yet they're now 88th out of the 92 sides in the Football League. Relegation from League Two was a real possibility at the start of the season, but a 10-point buffer from the bottom is helping steer them away.
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It seems unlikely now that the Trotters will go down, but Bolton are still not safe by any means. They'll be hoping they can avoid this most unwanted of records - while hoping that either Bradford or Oldham take the crown first.
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