Sam Allardyce has declared himself “shocked and appalled” by Jurgen Klopp's ungentlemanly language during the Merseyside derby this weekend.
Everton manager Allardyce, who has long stood out in the hyper-masculine world of the Premier League as a beacon of bashful sensitivity, was reportedly left in tears by Klopp's outburst, which onlookers described as 'earthy to the point of boorishness'.
"No sooner had those dirty words left [Klopp's] naughty mouth, Sam went pale and welled up," said Everton assistant boss Sammy Lee. "He clutched his necklace and let out a strangled, guttural sob - the same one he makes when the kebab shop is out of special sauce.
"Fortunately I found the smelling salts just in time, or Sam might have fainted clean away."
Later, armed with a hand-fan and an extra-strong mug of Earl Grey, Allardyce told FourFourTwo that he had never heard such filth in all his born days.
"That awful man [Klopp] was standing there turning the air blue, and all I could think of was his poor mother, and how she must feel to have raised such a vulgar lout," said the former Bolton and Sunderland boss.
"I always remind my players, whether they're on the training pitch, at home or making potentially leg-breaking tackles, that cleanliness is next to godliness, and a grubby tongue means a grubby soul."
Lee later confirmed that Allardyce was feeling much better following a restful nap, an episode of Midsomer Murders and a vat of special sauce washed down with a pint of Mateus Rosé. He added, however, that Klopp should not expect an invitation to take tea together any time soon.
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