Anderson, Santa Cruz and a Lenny Kravitz concert
IâÂÂm in Rio Grande do Sul in BrazilâÂÂs south. The capital is Porto Alegre, home to two million and a veritable footballer factory.
RonaldinhoâÂÂs from here, Anderson too. Both played for Gremio. AndersonâÂÂs mates are right rum coves. They use pea shooters, donâÂÂt file their tax returns on time, go through traffic lights on amber, that kind of thing.
ItâÂÂs a football state and you see the flags of the two main teams flying above houses all over the region: Gremio, who wear blue and black and Internacional, who wear red and white.
Both are huge clubs with their own 50,000 plus capacity stadiums just a mile apart. And both are among the most successful in South America and have won the Copa Liberatadores.
Gremio's fans make a din
Gremio were Inter-Continental champions in 1983 and Internacional world champions in 2006 following a sweet victory over a Barca side containing Ronaldinho â a former star of their detested foes Gremio.
IâÂÂll return for their Gre-Nal derby game one day. The easily mocked Danny Dyer went in 2007 and the footage he got was superb, with fans creating a din only an Old Firm game can come close to matching in Britain. I like the fan culture in Brazil and wanted to experience it again.
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With the Brazilian football season starting, I looked in the paper for any fixtures. Inter were at home in a cup match. My girlfriend reckons sheâÂÂs Inter and loathes Gremio, but the closest she has come to seeing either team was when she saw a Lenny Kravitz concert at GremioâÂÂs ground.
Which is a poor substitute on many counts.
Kravitz makes a racket
I suggested that we watch Inter vs Santa Cruz - and sit with their ultra style fans in the cheap seats. Her friends said that it was far too dangerous. They also raised their eyebrows when I told them IâÂÂd used the excellent - if incomprehensive - Sao Paulo metro.
Apparently muggers and murderers lurk down there. Apparently nothing, it was fine.
We arrived at the ground an hour before kick-off and bought tickets for around ã8 in one of the cheapest sections where all the vocal fans stand. It was a great experience, but as IâÂÂm writing about it for another magazine IâÂÂll limit my vague description to âÂÂgreat.âÂÂ
I should mention the minuteâÂÂs applause before the match, held at the start of the game to honour the players of second division side Brasil de Pelotas.
A bus carrying their team crashed into a ravine after a game against Santa Cruz recently and three passengers â including two players â died.
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Andy Mitten is Editor at Large of FourFourTwo, interviewing the likes of Lionel Messi, Eric Cantona, Sir Alex Ferguson and Diego Maradona for the magazine. He also founded and is editor of United We Stand, the Manchester United fanzine, and contributes to a number of publications, including GQ, the BBC and The Athletic.