Watford’s fans could hardly believe what they were watching. Maybe it was David de Gea’s mistake which stunned them – that gasp of silence before they realised the slow-moving ball had gone in for their opener. Maybe it was because they’d actually scored a goal or gone ahead in a football match for the first time this season.
But 10 minutes before the end of Sunday’s game, fans of the bottom-placed team who couldn't score and couldn’t win began to believe.
“Watford FC!” they chanted. “Watford FC. Watford FC.”
It might be a while before the ultras in Argentina or Italy take their influence from the Hornets of Vicarage Road, but Watford were worth their win.
Manchester United? Awful. Dreadful. Risible. Again.
Let’s get the positives out of the way first. Paul Pogba played for the first time since September and was United’s best player in his brief performance. It was a shot in the arm for his team and shot down conspiracy theories that he’d never play for United again. They said that with a knowing, you trust me he’s off to Madrid, wink.
Pogba will be needed since he’s the most talented player at the club, one who can offer different solutions when his predictable team cannot.
And United need something after another wretched result. The day went wrong from the minute United’s bus began backing into the narrow street off Vicarage Road just an hour before kick-off. The bus had been slowed to a stop by traffic, yet it was still faster than the players on it when they got onto the pitch.
No team does arriving late quickly like United, but the world has stopped waiting for the bride now United are no longer the stars of the show. United are eighth after 18 games with only six wins.
What’s absolutely baffling is why United can beat Manchester City away, Leicester, Chelsea 4-0 at home and then away in the cup, Spurs and be the only team to take points off Liverpool. That’s world champions Liverpool, just to rub salt into a dire weekend for United.
And then that same team which tears apart the best is so utterly, consistently, indescribably bad against the worst teams in the league. United have played the bottom seven teams and won only one of them, against Norwich.
‘Watford FC. Watford FC. Watford FC.’ Never has something so mundane burrowed so deep into my brain.
True, United keep coming up against sides revitalised by their new manager. They’ll play at Arsenal on New Year’s Day with Mikel Arteta still smarting from a likely London derby defeat, but Arsenal have world class players. United beat teams like Arsenal. They lose against teams which have English grafters like Will Hughes (best player on the pitch on Sunday) or the Longstaff brothers in Newcastle, the king of all Cockneys Mark Noble or Lewis Cook of Bournemouth. That’s Bournemouth who’ve lost six of their seven league games since they beat United.
I asked Ole Gunnar Solskjaer after the game how his team could be so effective against the best and so ineffective against the supposedly weaker teams. He is obviously as puzzled as I am.
“There’s many different reasons for the outcome of a game of football,” he replied. “You create chances, you don’t score goals. We created loads of chances towards the end but that was only after they were 2-0 up. We’ve got to start with more urgency. We’ve got to play better. Against other teams as well, we didn’t make the mistakes we did today.
“There’s no excuses,” Solskjaer continued. “We prepared well. There’s nothing I can put my finger on. You can’t blame an incident in the traffic because we were a little bit late. Does that little thing affect us. I don’t think so. An hour here should be enough.”
Watford FC. Watford FC. Watford FC.
I’m a sucker for this nonsense. I still think that Manchester United will win every single game they play. I predict scorelines where the opponents have ‘0’, which is ridiculous since United don’t keep clean sheets in the league.
I still look forward to every game. I even think that players will stop and speak to journalists trying to do their job in the mixed zone after games rather than blanking them when a ‘no thanks’ or ‘not today’ costs nothing. Not all players, it must be said, but there are some with the self-assured arrogance of serial winners… yet they play for a team which wins one of the three in the league.
To save my sanity I’m changing my mindset. From today, I’m going to anticipate that United will lose. Only in the league, mind, since United are decent in the cups. Newcastle at home Boxing Day? I’ll predict a 3-1 win for those fantastic Geordies. Burnley away a few days later? A solid 1-0 win to the Clarets. Arsenal? They have a new manager and will win 3-0, but only after United have missed some clear cut chances and De Gea has thrown the ball into his own net. City in the league cup semis? Two straightforward wins for United before a win at Anfield. It’s true that the highs are very high, but the lows are very low and sometimes just plain baffling.
Solskjaer recognises that and must implement change. He still deserves time but there have to be minimum requirements or he’ll lose his job.
Solskjaer said that United played the first half like it was a testimonial game. Does he really mean that? What is his solution if his team can’t muster the pace and commitment required for a league game? Is it attitude or the lack of a Plan B when there is no opportunity for the counter-attacking which serves them well against the top six. If it was a one-off then fine, but it keeps happening.
The defeat at Watford was the worst in a year where they have been some absolute stinkers. De Gea – for so long United’s saviour when you could drive a coach and horses through the midfield and the defence – is now making too many errors.
United will ultimately be measured by how they fare against superior teams but you don’t receive any extra points along with the brownie ones for doing so. To get above mid-table you need to beat struggling teams rather than providing every single one of them with their season’s highlight, their never to be forgotten win against Manchester United. Although that kind of victory is now losing something of its cachet, as everybody at the bottom chalks one up. This rinse repeat, rinse repeat football cannot continue.
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