The Blizzard-Running Weekend Predictions - Round 17

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Saturday

Valladolid (13th) vs Atlético Madrid (11th)

Normal service has resumed at Atleti after SaturdayâÂÂs win over Sevilla.

With club president Enrique Cerezo declaring that lifting the Copa del Rey in May was the only way of saving the Calderón clubâÂÂs season, it was only natural that his side would blow their first-leg last-16 tie in fine style, being pummelled by second division Recreativo, a team that hadn't won in six.

But it was the manner of AtletiâÂÂs 3-0 walloping that was most majestic.

Tomas UjfalusiâÂÂs sending off, the awful defending and the silly penalty all led to a wonderfully entertaining evening for the neutral.

âÂÂIt was one of the most incredible images of impotency that I can remember,â wrote a stunned Iñako Díaz-Guerra in AS.

âÂÂAnd IâÂÂm like the replicant in Blade Runner whoâÂÂs seen some astonishing things with this team.âÂÂ

Rojiblanco manager Quique Sánchez-Flores was equally as mortified, promising after the game to âÂÂlook for the kind of footballer who wonâÂÂt let me down.âÂÂ

The next day, QuiqueâÂÂs mood was just as sour so he decided to send the squad on a run through the woods in the middle of a blizzard.

If Sevilla president José María del Nido was feeling a little down in the dumps last Tuesday, he certainly did his best to hide it by sporting a natty gangster-style fedora whilst watching his team beat Barcelona in the Camp Nou.

The Sevilla bigwig is accused of having falsely invoiced the good people of Marbella over â¬3 million for his fine legal services, with the official report accusing del Nido of forming âÂÂa criminal organisation to empty the local councilâÂÂs coffers.âÂÂ

His alleged partner-in-crime at the time, former mayor Julian Muñoz, has also been accused of financial naughtiness along with Del Nido, and may be sent straight back to jail despite having only just come out of it after a previous conviction on a similar charge.

Villarreal (9th) vs Almería (15th)

Almería left-back Guilherme is a defender who is in possession of a big pair of disco trousers and loves putting them on whenever he can.

The Brazilian has done nothing to banish the stereotype of his countrymen by partying like itâÂÂs 1999 to the detriment of his performances for the team and was kicked out of a training session shortly before Christmas after a showbiz strop.

Former boss Hugo Sánchez opted to punish his charge in an unusual manner by giving him an extra weekâÂÂs holiday in Brazil over the festive period to sit and think about his behaviour.

But Guilherme is back in town and determined to clean up his act, declaring that he the wants to âÂÂtake advantage of the chance that theyâÂÂve given me.âÂÂ

The Ghanian had been called up by his country rather late in the day due to the injury suffered by FulhamâÂÂs John Pantsil, but Getafe have rejected the request claiming that FIFAâÂÂs own ruling says that 14 days notice must be given before any tournament begins.

The club is following the letter of the law and in the blogâÂÂs humble opinion, BoatengâÂÂs tough tackling stylings in central midfield have been key to GetafeâÂÂs recent fine form.

Like a naughty child asking for pocket money from a parent, Xerez have been given permission by a judge to spend a whopping â¬975,000 in the winter transfer market.

La PrimeraâÂÂs bottom-feeders are currently going through an administration process, as well as an elongated buy-out wrangle that has hit a bumpy spot due to the fact that the clubâÂÂs accounts over recent years probably consist of IOUs scrawled on the back of matchboxes from naked lady-bars.

When La Liga Loca spoke to Jermaine Pennant after the pre-Christmas thrashing by Real Madrid, the Zaragoza man was suitably despondent - and not just because he had to waste several minutes of his life talking to a blog that was pointing and haha-ing like The Simpsons' Nelson Muntz.

Meanwhile, the club has been beavering away in the transfer market and has snaffled former Málaga winger Eliseu in what the blog feels might be a shrewd bit of business.

FridayâÂÂs AS claims, not unreasonably, that the Copa del Rey is dying on its ar*e, citing disappointing attendance figures of 101,247 for this weekâÂÂs eight fixtures â some 90,000 less than would be expected for the corresponding games in La Liga.

Around 2,000 turned up to see Recre thrash Atlético. Only 4,500 Hercules supporters made it to see their victory over Osasuna on Thursday night, while 6,000 hardy souls in Málaga dragged themselves out at 10pm to catch the 2-1 victory over Getafe.

Cold weather and insane kick-off times must be important factors in explaining such poor crowds, as well as the two-legged format â the only one of its kind in the big leagues of Europe, note AS.

However, the response to the paperâÂÂs criticism from the Spanish FA suggests that the tournament will be a tinkering-free zone.

âÂÂWe think itâÂÂs a good format and weâÂÂre not going to change it,â said a spokesman.

Málaga (18th) vs Athletic (8th)

Well, itâÂÂs big diddums and tummy-rubbing at Castle Greyskull with complaints in Madrid fanzine Marca that the nasty, nasty people in the crowd at Osasuna were mean to Cristiano Ronaldo.

But despite Ronaldo saying that it âÂÂwent in one ear and out the otherâ and professing over the summer that he âÂÂlikes to see the hate in [rival supporters'] eyes," Marca are not happy at all that kiwi fruit and virgins were not offered to the footballer it regards as the best in the world.

Still, it's set to be worse on Sunday with Ronaldo playing in front of even harsher critics â the Bernabeu support, a throng who don't exactly show the love to him and his team-mates either â according to Ronaldo:

âÂÂThe fans are not bad, but a lot depends on how we are playing.âÂÂ

Oh dear. La Liga Loca is in a bit of tizz and doesnâÂÂt know what to think, where to go or what to do.

And no, it hasnâÂÂt gone to Argos again.

But now, Sport are claiming that the Spanish FA - in conjunction with Real Madrid - are doing everything in their power to stop Barça from repeating their 2009 feats.

âÂÂThe success of the Madridista campaign depends on whether referees are right or not,â spooked the paper.

ThursdayâÂÂs edition also complains that there is a âÂÂblack handâ doing its best to shaft the Camp Nou club and frets over âÂÂunfair penalties and marginal goals being ruled outâ from the clubâÂÂs previous encounters against Villarreal in the league and Sevilla in the cup.

It also suggests that the Andalusian side was deliberately picked to play Barça in the knockout competition to make life difficult for the holders.

The simple-minded La Liga Loca knows that one of the two papers must be wrong. It just canâÂÂt decide which it is.

And surely it can't be both.

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