Block booking at Powerleague Tottenham ‘may be for Spurs’

Daniel Levy

Reports have surfaced that an increasingly desperate Daniel Levy has made a series of booking enquiries at a local Powerleague centre, as Tottenham’s stadium woes intensify.

The club’s new home was supposed to be ready for Liverpool on September 15 but some reports suggest it may only be completed in February 2019, leaving the north London side scrambling for venues to host games.

According to insiders, Powerleague Tottenham on Willoughby Lane has emerged as a potential stopgap solution, with Spurs directors attracted by its convenient location, ability to host kids’ parties and the fact it can be booked for just under £150.

“Over the last few weeks we’ve had a number of calls from a man who gives his name as ‘Laniel Devy’, and he has been asking about availability for a range of Saturday afternoons and midweek evenings over the next few months," a Powerleague source told FourFourTwo.

“When I asked about the nature of the booking he rattled off a list of teams like Southampton, Burnley, Bournemouth and Wolves before correcting himself with a cough and saying he was staging a kick around with ‘some friends’.

“I politely pointed out that our largest pitch is a nine-a-side one and he sounded put out, but asked if we could pencil him in anyway.

“He said that at this point it might just have to do, even if some of his guests do get funny about it."

Daniel Levy

Denial

Tottenham officials have moved to quash the Powerleague speculation, insisting that a club as prestigious as theirs wouldn’t consider something so humiliating, before enquiring gently whether anyone knows where you can buy some portable goals and a line marking machine.

“The truth is that there’s loads of full-size pitches around, nobody’s panicking,” an insider at Tottenham told FourFourTwo.

“There’s a school just around the corner with a decent surface if we’re willing to hop a really very low fence.

“Players at this level are elite athletes. I hardly think it’d be a problem for them to shin over a bit of fencing while one of them creates a distraction for the caretaker.”

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