Community Shield just as meaningless as any other trophy, muses Guardiola
Pep believes curtain-raiser important, inasmuch as anything is important in life, Back of the Net reveal

Manchester City cruised to a 2-0 win in the Community Shield on Sunday, in a game Pep Guardiola described as “no less or more significant than any other aspect of our sport”.
Guardiola defended the reputation of the pre-season tradition, insisting that it deserved to be considered alongside the FA Cup, League Cup and Premier League as ultimately futile nonsense.
“It’s good for our fans that we win the Community Shield, because they have ascribed these rituals of competition with meaning,” he said. “But a ritual has no inherent meaning outside its social context, so I’m not getting carried away.”
The dreamboat stakhanovite praised the performance of his team and hailed two-goal hero Sergio Aguero, before reciting a litany of things more important than football.
“Football is fine, but better than football is the first taste of coffee in the morning; the feel of sunlight on your face; the love of a beautiful woman,” he told FourFourTwo.
“The sound of a child’s laughter on a summer day,” Guardiola continued. “The comfortable silence between old friends watching the day turn to night. Viva La Vida, or Death and All His Friends by Coldplay.
“Whistling. Sudoku. Distressed denim. All these things are better than football. Better even than Phil Foden’s performance today, which I thought was outstanding, compared to other football performances.”
Get FourFourTwo Newsletter
The best features, fun and footballing quizzes, straight to your inbox every week.
Guardiola added that retaining the Premier League title he won last season with Manchester City was not inevitable, unlike death, which will one day come to us all.
Please note: This satirical news story is not real. We actually have to say this.
More Back of the Net • New features you’d love on FourFourTwo.com

‘I received offers from Bolton and Newcastle, but they didn’t progress far. Then Leeds came in – I saw it as a chance to experience a new league and country’: How World Cup winner Roque Junior ended up at Leeds United

‘I don’t think Liverpool would look at Ollie Watkins, a striker isn’t a pressing issue for them – it’s Arsenal who need one’ Former Reds star explains why his old club don’t need an out-and-out forward this summer