England's Euro record might not scream success – we've barely ever come close – but the Three Lions' experience at the tournament down the years has certainly been eventful. Behold: a horrible history of hooliganism, hideous headlines, ill-advised sight-seeing... and the odd good bit.
9. Euro 92, Sweden
Result Group stage
Top Scorer Platt (1)
The Good Sure, Barry Davies called it “the most sterile defensive international” he had ever covered, but at least Graham Taylor’s side didn’t embarrass themselves against a France team that had gone 13 competitive games unbeaten. A goalless draw kept England’s knockout hopes alive.
The Bad Statistically, this wasn’t England’s worst showing at a European Championship – although it was in terms of searing pain to the eyeballs. Having drawn 0-0 with late entrants Denmark, fresh from the beach, and then 0-0 with France, England’s miserable display in the fatal loss to Tomas Brolin & Co gave us the awful headline, ‘Swedes 2 Turnips 1’. Even the supposed turnip himself, Taylor, struggled to take any positives from it.
The Weird Needing a goal to beat Sweden, Taylor baffled a nation by taking off Gary Lineker: his team’s captain and most natural goal threat. Lineker didn’t play for the Three Lions again, finishing one goal short of Bobby Charlton’s record.
The Fallout Taylor never recovered from Euro 92. He resigned the following year, after his England outfit failed to qualify for the 1994 World Cup.
8. Euro 88, West Germany
Result Group stage
Top Scorer Robson, Adams (1)
The Good England’s 3-1 defeat to the Netherlands wasn’t as one-sided as the scoreline suggests. Bobby Robson’s team performed pretty well, in fact, but were undone by the genius of hat-trick hero Marco van Basten. The Three Lions weren’t alone in that regard.
The Bad Take your pick from three defeats in three matches. At no point at Euro 88 did England hold a lead. A 1-0 loss to Ireland set the tone, and a 3-1 defeat to the Soviet Union – having already been knocked out – summed it all up. Rubbish.
The Weird Instead of warming up against an international giant, England took on mighty Aylesbury United. The 7-0 romp just heightened the sense of futility.
The Fallout Bryan Robson punched Peter Shilton in the face; Gary Lineker, it transpired, had hepatitis; and Glenn Hoddle, who gifted the Soviet Union an early lead by trying to dribble out of defence, never played for England again. But the press really sharpened their knives for Bobby Robson: that autumn, following a 1-1 draw with Saudi Arabia, the Mirror cried, ‘In the name of Allah, go!’ He didn’t, and gave England a World Cup semi-final.
7. Euro 2016, France
Result Last 16
Top Scorer Dier, Vardy, Sturridge, Rooney (1)
The Good England left it late to beat Wales in Lens, as Roy Hodgson’s introduction of Jamie Vardy and Daniel Sturridge at half-time proved inspired. Both men found the net, with Sturridge’s winner coming in stoppage time.
The Bad More people lived in the England manager’s native Croydon than in Iceland, so their second-round loss to the latter ranks among the Three Lions’ most ignominious of all time. They weren’t just outfought by the tournament debutants, but completely outplayed, too.
The Weird Harry Kane on corner duty was bewildering, but not as much as Hodgson’s decision to take a boat trip on the Seine with assistant Ray Lewington instead of watching England’s potential next opponents, Iceland, play in the flesh.
The Fallout The gaffer stepped down immediately... then had to face the media the following day. “I don’t really know what I’m doing here,” Hodgson told a similarly bemused press pack. The FA decided that Sam Allardyce was the man to finally end 50 years of hurt. He was not.
6. Euro 2000, Belgium and Netherlands
Result Group stage
Top Scorer Shearer (2)
The Good England beat Germany at a major tournament for the first time since 1966. Alan Shearer’s winner saw Die Mannschaft join Kevin Keegan’s side in face-planting at the first hurdle, though they’d be World Cup finalists two years on.
The Bad Leading 2-1 and needing only a point to qualify for the knockouts, England contrived to lose 3-2 to an ageing Romania team. Phil Neville will always be remembered for rashly giving away a late penalty, but this was a collective balls-up.
The Weird For reasons best known to himself, Keegan tried to reinvent Michael Owen, a striker who was probably born off the shoulder, as a deep-lying forward. Owen later described his time working under King Kev at international level as the “darkest phase of my career” (which is rather hard to believe).
The Fallout Shearer retired from international football – a decision he had made before the tournament – and then, in October, Keegan resigned in the Old Wembley toilets after Germany got their revenge. It was a rather inglorious way to bid the Twin Towers farewell.
5. Euro 80, Italy
Result Group stage
Top Scorer Wilkins, Brooking, Woodcock (1)
The Good England’s solitary win came against Spain in their final group match, although Italy’s subsequent draw with Belgium made the victory redundant. Still, goals from Trevor Brooking and Tony Woodcock gave Ron Greenwood’s team a deserved two points in front of a pathetic 14,440 crowd in Naples.
The Bad The tournament was marred by English hooliganism. A total of 36 supporters were arrested for fighting in Turin, and the 1-1 draw with Belgium had to be paused due to trouble on the terraces. “We’re ashamed of people like this,” fumed Greenwood.
The Weird Kevin Keegan spent his downtime trying very hard to clear up a potentially grave misunderstanding, after Tuttosport reported that he had accused a Romanian referee of taking a bribe. The journalist in question eventually admitted it was a misquote.
The Fallout Despite talk of possible expulsion, England got away with an £8,000 fine for the violence against Belgium. The ‘English disease’ would get worse before it got better.
4. Euro 2012, Poland and Ukraine
Result Quarter-finals
Top Scorer Lescott, Carroll, Walcott, Welbeck, Rooney (1)
The Good Expectations were low, but England topped Group D with two victories and a draw. The highlight was a spirited display against Sweden, in which Roy Hodgson – who had been in the post for barely a month – masterminded a 3-2 win from behind, with Danny Welbeck’s flicked finish completing the comeback.
The Bad England were outclassed by Italy and fortunate to survive until their inevitable penalty shootout defeat. A 33-year-old Andrea Pirlo gave a midfield masterclass, aided by England’s puzzling reluctance to close him down.
The Weird In a curious apparent attempt to put off Italy’s spot-kick takers, one England fan watched the shootout with his pants pulled down. In tribute, Pirlo pulled Joe Hart’s pants down with a perfectly executed Panenka.
The Fallout Fans and pundits were left to ponder why English football wasn’t producing any match-controlling technicians such as Pirlo. The diagnosis, as ever, was root-and-branch reform… so in came Tom Cleverley and Jake Livermore for the next friendly. Vive la revolution!
3. Euro 2004, Portugal
Result Quarter-finals
Top Scorer Rooney (4)
The Good An 18-year-old Wayne Rooney set the tournament alight with a string of scintillating performances. The Everton youngster was thrilling in the group stage, following up a brace against Switzerland with another against Croatia. “I don’t remember anyone making such an impact on a tournament since Pele in 1958,” beamed Rooney’s chuffed boss, Sven Goran-Eriksson.
The Bad Another tournament, another defeat on penalties. England’s quarter-final shootout against Portugal went to sudden death, where goalkeeper Ricardo denied Darius Vassell with no gloves on... then converted the decisive kick himself. Talk about rubbing it in.
The Weird Kicking off a molehill, David Beckham blazed England’s first penalty approximately 425 miles over the crossbar. The ball was caught by a Spanish supporter, who must have been in a daze when pranksters subsequently lodged an eBay bid for it of £6.7 million. Sadly, he was forced to settle for a mere $35,000.
The Fallout Paul Scholes retired from England duty after trundling up and down the left flank. His decision set in motion 17 years – and counting – of national angst about England’s perceived misuse of the Manchester United man.
2. Euro 68, Italy
Result Third place
Top Scorer B. Charlton, Hurst (1)
The Good Alf Ramsey’s world champions overcame Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and Spain to qualify for the four-team tournament, where they comfortably saw off the Soviet Union to record a third-placed finish.
The Bad Alan Mullery became the first England player ever to be sent off. The Tottenham midfielder retaliated after a foul by Dobrivoje Trivic in a bruising semi-final defeat to Yugoslavia. “I kicked him in the how’s your fathers,” Mullery later shrugged. “I’d love to change it, but you can’t change history.”
The Weird England could have easily faced Italy, not the Soviet Union, in the third-place play-off. With penalty shootouts not arriving until Euro 76 (step forward, Antonin Panenka), the Azzurri advanced to the final by drawing 0-0 with the Soviets... then winning a coin toss.
The Fallout England were seen as being on track for further glory, and sat among the favourites for the World Cup two years later. They lost in the last eight and didn’t qualify for another European Championship until 1980.
1. Euro 96, England
Result Semi-finals
Top Scorer Shearer (5)
The Good Terry Venables' Three Lions brought joy to the nation in a summer of footballing love, with memorable wins over the Netherlands and the Auld Enemy, Scotland, before a first ever penalty shootout victory in the quarter-finals against Spain.
The Bad Going out by the same, dreaded tie-breaking method in the very next round to Germany, with Andreas Köpke's save from Gareth Southgate's spot-kick proving decisive. That grey kit was pretty bad too, admittedly.
The Weird Venables not using a single substitute in the knockout stages, despite both games going to extra time and penalties and the likes of Robbie Fowler and Les Ferdinand – England weren't exactly short of potential match-winners – waiting in the wings.
The Fallout El Tel went on his way, having already agreed to stand down after the tournament. Twenty-five years on, England are still waiting to make it back to the last four of the Euros.
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