Osvaldo, who was signed by Mauricio Pochettino at Southampton for a then-club record £15m in 2013, retired from football last summer having been a free agent for three months following his release from Boca Juniors.
He told Boca he was leaving in order to pursue a career in rock and roll.
Over a year later, the Argentine forward – whose best form came with Espanyol and Roma between 2010 and 2013 – insists he had no regrets retiring aged 30.
"I decided to quit at Boca, there was too much gossip," Osvaldo told Gazzetta dello Sport.
"I couldn’t go out, I was afraid of people. I couldn’t do it anymore. I had offers from China and clubs in the Champions League, but I was detached.
"I was beginning to hate what I'd always loved. Football deserves respect, and I prefer asado [Argentine barbecue] and beer to money."
Osvaldo also revealed his bizarre reason for not joining Jorge Sampaoli's Sevilla last December.
"Do you want a laugh?" Osvaldo began. "In December 2016 Sampaoli contacted me, he was at Sevilla at the time.
"He said to me: ‘Dani, I’m not asking anything of you, you can do what you want on the pitch and off, but I need a striker’.
"I told him ‘but boss, there’s the Cosquín Rock festival!’. He said ‘I forgot! Go, of course, you can’t miss it’. Two crazy people."
