Tottenham (2nd)
Previously unpublished Back of the Net pre-season prediction: 2nd
The lowdown: For the second year in a row, Spurs exceeded expectations and topped the goal difference charts, but fell just short of glory – unless you measure glory by beating Arsenal. Mauricio Pochettino has pledged not to leave Spurs without winning them silverware, and is set for an all-out assault on next season's Fair Play Trophy.
The best: Spurs finally said good riddance to White Hart Lane, where their fans experienced regular misery and degradation for over a century. Mousa Dembele enhanced his reputation still further and can truly claim to be the world’s finest Dembele.
The worst: Chairman Daniel Levy upended his reputation for caution by spending £30m on Moussa Sissoko. The deal may yet prove to be a masterstroke, however, as Tottenham’s rivals now know they are dealing with someone loaded, unpredictable, and drunk with power.
Need to do next season: Win a trophy before players like Dembele, Harry Kane and Dele Alli realise they can just leave if they want to.
Watford (17th)
Previously unpublished Back of the Net pre-season prediction: 17th
The lowdown: Manager Walter Mazzarri took the reins after the board swore that Watford was in London, but the Italian’s relationship with fans soured following his repeated sneering references to TFL Zone 9.
The best: January’s 2-1 victory at Arsenal, which briefly gave the Hornets bragging rights in ‘London’.
The worst: Mazzarri decreed that 17th was the target, and successfully guided them there by ending the season with six consecutive defeats. Isaac Success did his bit to disprove nominative determinism, ably assisted by Tom Cleverley.
Need to do next season: The club are hoping to tempt Marco Silva to join them instead of Porto by insisting that Watford is in the Algarve.
West Brom (10th)
Previously unpublished Back of the Net pre-season prediction: 10th
The lowdown: West Brom reached their 40-point target by March and basically stopped playing football afterwards, though critics would argue they never really started. Tony Pulis’s hatred of full-backs, who he calls ‘a perversion of nature’, continues to consume his every waking moment.
The best: The Baggies scored a league-high 16 goals from corners, which count double under the rules of Pulisball.
The worst: Pulis’s experiment with other types of headgear was mercifully brief, following a six-game spell that took in a beret, a homburg, a sombrero, a fedora, a beret again, and a tam o’shanter, before he returned to his trademark fez.
Need to do next season: If West Brom can start the season with a 10-point penalty, there's a chance they will still look interested by April.
West Ham (11th)
Previously unpublished Back of the Net pre-season prediction: 11th
The lowdown: The Hammers sold the Boleyn Ground, in the mistaken belief that they played at Upton Park, and had to relocate to east London’s biggest, whitest elephant. Its second biggest led the line superbly when fit, but Andy Carroll cannot be relied upon for a whole season.
The best: Fears that the Olympic Stadium would not feel like home were quickly assuaged when fans performed a traditional, heartwarming riot against Chelsea in October.
The worst: Simone ‘ZaZa Binks’ was an unpopular misfit who dragged down the performance of everyone around him.
Need to do next season: Fans need a big-money signing that will give them something to sing about. A swoop for Marseille’s mercurial playmaker Dimitri Payet would be just the ticket.
Part 1 of this season review starts with the champions, the Arsenal and the King. Part 2 sees Everton dial it up to seven. Part 3 has Liverpool FC and Pep Guardiola in fashion controversies, while Part 4 wallows in its own Moyesery.
