Glory, goal-fests and goodbyes: The Premier League's most thrilling 'dead rubbers'
Games with nothing riding on them can sometimes be the best, as Nick Harper discovers…
Reaching the final games of the season with most issues resolved at the top and bottom of the table, you'd be forgiven for thinking that many of Sunday's fixtures will see teams simply going through the motions for 90 minutes. And yet, recent history teaches us that some supposedly dead rubbers have thrown up some of the most entertaining games in Premier League's history...
1. West Brom 5-5 Manchester United, 19 May 2013
The stage was set for Sir Alex to receive a fitting farewell on the final day of last season. Having already secured the title, Fergie took his champions to The Hawthorns for his 1,500th and final game in charge, keen to end on a high. Clearly West Brom and Romelu Lukaku in particular had missed the memo.
A second-half sub, Lukaku became only the fifth substitute to score a Premier League hat-trick, striking after 50 minutes (to make it 2-3), 81 (3-5) and 86 (5-5) in a ridiculously entertaining encounter. West Brom finished 8th, the champions were still champions, but as he shuffled off smiling towards retirement, Fergie was no doubt effing and jeffing on the inside. (And those other hat-trick scoring subs: Emmanuel Adebayor, Robert Earnshaw, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.)
2. Manchester City 2-3 Norwich, 19 May 2013
The hosts were guaranteed to finish second to neighbours United, while Norwich had escaped the cold, clammy clutches of a relegation fight and were safe for another season. City were also managerless, having removed Roberto Mancini for being hopeless and asked Brian Kidd to oversee the final two games of the season. Even so, what followed was highly unexpected, given Norwich had won only one previous away game all season and were facing a team beaten only once previously in 47 home games.
Cut, then, to an enthralling, see-saw encounter in which City twice drew level before Jonny Howson coolly ran from his own half, beating four men in the process before slipping the ball past Joe Hart to seal an unexpected but entirely deserved win. A memory to cling onto as the Canaries contemplate Brentford away.
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3. Newcastle 3-3 West Brom, 22 May 2011
An encounter between two teams who would finish the season 12th and 11th respectively, this one appeared to be over as a contest after two minutes of the second half, when a Jonas Olsson OG put the hosts three up. But then an unexpected thing happened – a West Brom without their chief threats Peter Odemwingie and Jerome Thomas staged a second-half comeback.
The unlikely hero was the Cameroonian, Somen Tchoyi, who reduced the arrears after 62 minutes, scored again after 71 and completed his hat-trick in injury time. All the while, roared on by a home crowd far less demoralised than they are these days, Newcastle chased a fourth that would have put the game to bed. But 3-3 it ended, maintaining West Brom's record of having never lost on the final day of a Premier League season (ended the following season by Arsenal).
4. Burnley 4-2 Tottenham, 9 May 2010
Neither Burnley nor Spurs had much to play for on the last day. The hosts were already relegated, while Harry Redknapp's visitors had qualified for the Champions League play-offs. And three minutes in, the game seemed to be following a predictable enough plot, as Gareth Bale gave the visitors the lead. Luka Modric opened up a two-goal lead on 32 minutes as Tottenham illustrated the gulf in class.
But Brian Laws' Burnley clearly hadn't read the script and, taking a leaf out of Muhammad Ali's Rope-A-Dope manual, they soaked up the pressure and waited for Tottenham to run out of steam. A goal before the break gave them hope; three more in the second half left the Londoners out for the count, and 'Arry feeling bruised. "I'll go home with the hump!" he harrumphed.
5. Middlesbrough 8-1 Manchester City, 11 May 2008
Any lingering suspicion that Sven-Goran Eriksson was worth his exorbitant salary as manager of Manchester City was extinguished on the final day of 2007/08, when Middlesbrough edged a nine-goal thriller. City contributed just one of those goals, of course, but they had been down to 10 men after Richard Dunne's red card on 15 minutes.
The hosts opened the scoring from the penalty Dunne saw red for, and then cut through at will. Elano's consolation after 87 minutes was of no consolation whatsoever, and Boro rubbed salt into their wounds by adding their seventh in the final minute. By the end, Sven looked more sheepish than normal. "Mentally, we had nothing left," he said, as the Vidiprinter clicked into capitals. "We were not even on the pitch… it was embarrassing for everyone." Especially for City's owners. Within a month, Sven had been sacked, though they dressed it up as a parting of ways by "mutual consent".
6. Arsenal 7-0 Everton, May 11 2005
The most surprising thing about the scoreline was that this was the season Everton had qualified for the Champions League, finishing fourth under David Moyes. The Scot had instructed his team to enjoy themselves at Highbury, but those orders were taken too literally as the Gunners, who'd finish the season second, 12 points adrift of Chelsea, sliced through them at will. It was Everton's misfortune to come up against a Dennis Bergkamp in a quite unplayable mood – the 36-year-old Dutchman was instrumental in almost everything and weighed in with the sixth himself. At the end, Moyes instructed his men to apologise to the travelling fans, while he adopted the haunted look that has served him so well this season.
7. Arsenal 4-3 Everton, May 11 2002
Another final-day flourish from these two, but this time a more balanced encounter. Already crowned league and FA Cup winners, back when everything Arsene touched turned to silver, Arsenal went into the final game of the season seven points clear of second-placed Liverpool, while Everton were safe from relegation under a slightly less craggy-looking David Moyes. And in a game that would make Jose Mourinho literally sick with disgust, what followed was a free-flowing exhibition of rampant attacking football interspersed with moments of truly execrable defending. Dennis Bergkamp opened the scoring on three minutes, Everton led by the half hour, before the champions turned on the slicks and established a 4-2 lead, with Thierry Henry scoring twice and a Francis Jeffers collector's item on 82. Steve Watson pulled one back with two minutes left, by which time the party poppers and funny hats were in full effect.
8. Southampton 3-2 Arsenal, May 19 2001
When the players emerge onto the field of play wearing bandanas (in aid of a charity), you suspect they may not be taking the game entirely seriously. Understandably so, for on the face of it, neither side had much to play for – Arsenal couldn't catch champions Manchester United but had sealed their Champions League place, the Saints were safe in mid table and would finish 10th. The mild subplot that perhaps drove the hosts on in a surprisingly pulsating encounter, in which they twice came from behind to level, was that this was the final game played at The Dell before they replaced it with houses. Predictable, then, that cometh the hour (and a half), cometh Matthew Le Tissier – his stunning volley in the final minute providing a very fitting finale.
9. Manchester City 2 - 3 Queens Park Rangers, May 14 1995
Back in the days when they didn't win diddly, City could have ended the 1994/95 season as high as 12th, snugly sandwiched between future heavyweights Arsenal (who took 12th) and Chelsea (11th). QPR knew they'd start and finish the day in eighth, but mustered enough final-day fizz to edge a very entertaining five-goal finale at Maine Road. Les Ferdinand opened the scoring after 13 minutes, Niall Quinn equalised on 26 before Danny Dichio restored the lead on 77. Keith Curle's equaliser on 80 minutes appeared to be sending both sets of supporters off for the summer in content mood, until Sir Les popped up again in the final minute to steal all three points. City had to make do with 17th place. They might have been more miffed had neighbours Manchester United not blown the title at West Ham that very same day.
10. Manchester City 2-5 Everton/Liverpool 6-2 Tottenham Hotspur, May 8 1993
The day it figuratively rained goals, the final day of the inaugural Premier League season, the year Norwich and Aston Villa made Fergie's backside squeak as they pushed him hard for his first league title. City and Everton played out a seven-goal thriller at Maine Road, while just along the East Lancs Road, Liverpool and Spurs were sharing eight themselves. Everton's five-goal blitz (Beagrie and Beardsley among the scorers) saw them finish 13th, four points behind City in 9th place. Liverpool's demolition (Rush and Barnes scored two apiece) left them in 6th, leapfrogging Spurs in 8th on goal difference. (Of course we say final day, but while the vast majority of games took place on the Saturday, four final fixtures were dragged out over the next three days. Bad fixtures machine.)