In 2008, a hapless Kent football club was sent to League Two for football crimes they actually did commit.
These men then promptly travelled to deepest, darkest Shropshire on Saturday afternoon. Today, still smarting from a 7-0 walloping from Shrewsbury, they sit in eighth place. If you have a problem, if everybody else is busy, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB.
DUM DE-DUM DUM, DUM DUM DUM, DUM-DE-DUM DUM DUM DUM, DUM DE DUM-DUM DUM
You know the rest of itâ¦.
The Gillingham of the 80s
Yes, as weâÂÂre sure youâÂÂve heard by now, Roland Benedict, son of A-Team star Dirk, is currently having a trial with KentâÂÂs finest.
Benedict the younger has been described by pops as âÂÂquite goodâ at football, which explains his willingness to take in GillinghamâÂÂs reserve match against Southampton last week.
Will the team walk out on a match-day to the famous theme tune? Will the Gills squad start to travel to away games in a black and red van? Will they face a battle against corrupt police (or maybe referees) on a weekly basis?
So, so many questions which frankly only Paul Scally and chums could answer, but it got us thinking (rather than doing proper work); who from the wide and wonderful world of football could be recruited to complete the crime-fighting quartet.
So letâÂÂs meet the stars of âÂÂThe G-TeamâÂÂ:
Allison: loves it when a plan comes together...
Malcolm Allison as Hannibal
The former Manchester City and Crystal Palace boss loves nothing better than a puff on a decent-sized cigar while reflecting on whether his plans had âÂÂcome togetherâÂÂ, although those were most likely plans to outwit his rival managers rather than escape from a barn using oil drums, lengths of rope and fire extinguishers, making him the perfect boss for the G-Team.
Jimmy Bullard as âÂÂHowlin Madâ Murdock
Who better to fill the role as the lovable mentalist of the group than FulhamâÂÂs own chirpy cheeky chappie? With his penchant for fishing, the G-Team are sure to get into a few scrapes, with hillarious consiquences⦠maybe.
I pity the fool who doesn't get to play under Bruce Rioch
Dennis Bergkamp as BA Baracus
Experienced but with a mean streak, Bergkamp is perfect for the role of Baracus, despite the minor aesthetic differences. Just donâÂÂt expect him to âÂÂget on no plane fool.â At least not without Allison slipping something in his Lucozade bottle.
