It has emerged that David Moyes’s effortless command of the Spanish language only applies to situations that involve introducing something to the mixer.
Moyes was axed by Real Sociedad after failing to deliver the expected results and some have questioned his ability to communicate his tactical ideas to his players.
But the ex-Preston, Everton and Manchester United boss’s former charges have revealed that the Scot is more than capable of performing a number of complex conjugations as long as the verb involved is 'to mix'.
Perfect Spanish
“Mo-yes has no problem with the present, future, imperfect, pluperfect or even conditional perfect,” defensive midfielder Asier Illarramendi told FFT.
“As players we all felt very comfortable that el gaffer could get his point across in perfect Spanish.
“That is, as long as his point involved throwing it in the mixer, the possibility of throwing in the mixer in a future time or our failure to have thrown it in the mixer in the recent or continuous past.”
“The odd thing is that some of us speak very good English and Moyes’s instructions in their native language were if anything even more simplistic,” midfielder Esteban Granero told FFT.
“In Spanish there was a hint at unspoken knowledge, a charismatic sense of mystery behind his frequent requests for the ball to be inserted into the ‘area of mixing’, but in English they sounded oddly like the barks of a touchline simpleton.”
Moyes is expected to find a job in the Premier League rather than return to Spain, and while his linguistic prowess will have impressed many it pales in comparison to Steve McClaren, who famously learned to speak fluent Dutch in under four minutes during his time at Twente.
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