The obscenity tweeting, 'encouragement' rejecting Primera Predictions
Saturday
Malaga (9th) v Barcelona (1st)
Remember Quincy Owusu-Abeyie? No? Had a good start to the season? Fast? Used to play for Arsenal? Oh. Ok. Well, that's not too surprising considering the winger's appearances were few and far between under Manuel Pellegrini when the former Real Madrid man took over as coach.
Unfortunately, Quincy doesn't appear to have taken too kindly to this and decided to do a bit of a vanishing act in April without explanation, disappearimg into Málaga's ether with the Tweet to supporters "I will never forget my Málaga fans and great team mates. I had a great time in Málaga. Vamossssss!!!"
It seems that not all the Málaga collective were so positive about Quincy's farewell message, though, and on Wednesday, the Dutch-Ghanian responded with the potty-mouthed missive, "to all you negative Málaga fans, I have a great life and a beautiful home. So whatever you say...I don't give a ****!"
LLL Prediction - no idea. Away win. Could be anything.
Real Madrid (2nd) v AlmerÃÂa (20th)
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A Madrid old-timer in the form of Chendo got a short run out in the club's colour's on Wednesday night during a charity game in Murcia. Real Madrid were playing a friendly match against a Murcia XI to raise money for the victims of last week's earthquake in Lorca which claimed the lives of nine and injured 300 more.
Right back, Chendo, played for Madrid for 16 years and now serves as the club's match delegate got to pull on the captain's armband for ten minutes and feel the spirit of Sergio Ramos - and a touch of Ricardo Carvalho, whose shirt he wore - by putting in a crunching, but mistimed tackle that should have seen a yellow card.
"My body couldn't give anymore and I had to stop the rival players anyway I could," explained the former stopper.
LLL Prediction - Home win (and two for Ronaldo)
Hércules (19th) v Sporting (10th)
It's the last round of the season. Time for LLL to give one or two happy stories for a change rather than the conflict and craziness which has peppered the blog's pages for the past ten months. Earlier this year, Manuel Preciado and José Mourinho had a bit of an ugly spat over an accusation from the latter that the former's team wasn't trying against Barcelona at Camp Nou.
The rancour now appears to be well and truly over, after Preciado revealed that the maverick Madrid manager personally congratulated the Sporting players after April's victory for the Asturian side in the Santiago Bernabeu and that Mourinho also called to commiserate him on the death of his father on the night of the Copa del Rey final, something for which the Sporting boss revealed great gratitude on local radio.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Osasuna (15th) v Villarreal (4th)
And so begins the relegation games, although Osasuna would have to be extremely unlucky to go down with a 2.5% chance of the drop, odds mainly boosted by Villarreal's players pretty much off on their holidays with fourth place secured.
Joan Capdevila certainly seems to be demob happy with the chirpy left back starting a transfer rumour on Twitter for a bit of a gag by announcing that goalkeeper, Diego López, had signed for Manchester United - something that doesn't sound completely outrageous to LLL's gossip-loving ears.
"It was a stag party joke," explained the Villarreal man, who was forced for 'fess up through further tweetage. "I hope I haven't bothered anyone. Diego is staying at Villarreal."
LLL Prediction - Home win
Real Sociedad (14th) v Getafe (16th)
MÃÂchel the Manager has been in a positive mood throughout Getafe's relegation battle, and remains in chipper spirits ahead of Saturday's visit to San Sebastian.
"With all due respect to Real Sociedad, I believe we are going to win," chirped the Getafe boss. MÃÂchel then went off on a bit of a tangent by talking about the hard work it takes to keep a club with a small budget afloat in la Primera. "Aren't you curious to see Guardiola or Mourinho at Getafe. How would they work? With what resources?"
LLL has an alternative question. How hard can it be to take over a Madrid reserve side containing Borja Valero, Esteban Granero, Javi GarcÃÂa, Alvaro Negredo and Juan Mata and see them relegated to the third tier of Spanish football, as MÃÂchel managed in 2006/07? That really does take some doing...
LLL Prediction - Home win (Getafe to go down. Sob)
Espanyol (8th) v Sevilla (5th)
Sometimes it seems that it is only when a player announces his retirement to the press that it dawns on him that it's all over. That's certainly the case with Espanyol's Ivan de la Peña, a truly wonderful footballer who now has to give up the game due to ongoing injuries that has seen him miss nearly the entire season.
In a tearful farewell ahead of the Sevilla match where he is set to see some minutes, the midfielder said that "my head says carry on but my body says enough."
"He was a misunderstood genius of football," writes LluÃÂs Mascaró in Sport on his spell at Barcelona. He was a player that always wanted to give that last majestic pass, that Hollywood assist. When it went well. the Camp Nou would explode in admiration. When it went badly, the stadium exploded again, but this time in anger."
LLL Prediction - Draw
Levante (12th) v Real Zaragoza (18th)
"Paying teams to win or lose is illegal now!" has been the mantra of the press and league president all week, with this particular game very much in mind. The supposition is that Levante would have a great deal of 'encouragement' from other sides in the relegation battle to give it their all against third-from-bottom Zaragoza.
Levante president Quico Catalan is most upset by the rumours surrounding the match telling Radio Marca that "there are people trying to damage the image of an institution that's more than 100 years old." Striker Felipe Caicedo is also not best pleased, "I wouldn't play if it was fixed. Do you know how much that would bother me?"
LLL Prediction - Away win
Deportivo (17th) v Valencia (3rd)
Valencia appear to be collecting goalkeepers with the confirmation of the very poorly kept secret that the excellent AlmerÃÂa stopper, Diego Alves, will be off to the Mestalla madhouse this summer to join César Sánchez, Vicente GuaÃÂta, Miguel Moyá and Renan who are also on the club's books.
In charge of this gaggle of goalies will be Unai Emery who looks set to renew for another year at Valencia although club president, Manuel Llorente, hardly gave his manager a hearty slap on the back with the confession that "in the last 15 days we learned about the conditions of other coaches."
Sunday
Racing Santander (11th) v Athletic Bilbao (6th)
Strange goings on at both clubs. Eleven players for Racing still owed a total of â¬1.7m remain unpaid despite many, many promises from owner AlàSyed. And the Spanish sports papers report that Bilbao coach JoaquÃÂn Caparrós may be unwanted by some members of the current board, despite leading the Basque team into Europe, which was his mission at the beginning of the campaign.
LLL Prediction - Away win
Mallorca (13th) v Atlético Madrid (7th)
Mallorca can save themselves this weekend with just a point against Atlético Madrid or if Zaragoza fail to win. The Balearic side can still survive if they lose and Deportivo or Getafe lose. Probably. Have a look for yourself. Either way, the club's relegation chances are pretty slim but it's only at midnight on Saturday that manager, Michael Laudrup, is going to assess the season.
"We'll have a look at the end," explained the Great Dane, "we can finish ninth which would be an incredible success or we could go down. The difference is four points. Saving yourself this season is more expensive than petrol."
LLL Prediction - Draw